Tumgik
#no wonder Giles is done with his shit
only-one-brain-cell · 10 months
Text
Xander has done some incredibly stupid things but before it’s never been drive around a guy who resurrected 3 of his buddy’s from the grave stupid.
40 notes · View notes
jvstheworld · 8 months
Text
The Buffy Re-watch: S2E17 (part 1)
Passion
Angelus voice over, while he is stalking Buffy in the same manner Spike did. And then going into her room and leaving her drawings of her sleeping.
They are only now thinking of the de-invite spell? That really should have been a number 1 priority.
Barely anyone else in the school uses the library, which is a shame. Support your local libraries.
Cordelia pointing out that it would be easy for Angel to kill Buffy while she is asleep, but doesn't because it's not as fun as causing her torment.
Willow is excited to be teaching, you might want to hold off on that excitement for a bit.
Giles loves Jenny but her betrayal hurt him deeply, because it didn't just hurt him, it also hurt Buffy. If she had told them from the beginning who she was, then more could have been done to prevent Angel from losing his soul. Now Buffy is suffering because of it. If Jenny wants to get back in with Giles then she needs to make some sort of peace with Buffy.
'Not the same guy you fell for' that is putting it lightly Joyce.
Angelus killed Willow's fish? What the fuck?
Yes be glad you don't have a puppy Willow, you don't want to hear that story. None of us do.
But then Dru turns up with a puppy for Spike to try and eat. I'm glad he doesn't. He is more of a kitten person anyway.
Spike is being infantilised by Dru and Angelus because he is in a wheelchair. I wonder how many disabled people have had to deal with that sort of thing, even as fully grown adults? Seriously, fuck that shit. And ableism too.
Dru is loving the attention and jealousy from both Spike and Angelus, but then she gets a vision that someone is going to break up the trio. Spike is secretly happy about that.
Jenny going magic supply shopping for the orb to help re-ensoul Angelus. The shopkeeper mentions that it often gets used as a paperweight, which is how Giles uses his.
Buffy telling Jenny that Giles is lonely and misses her. Despite her anger towards Jenny, Buffy really just wants to see Giles happy.
Angelus leaving more drawings, this time his target is Joyce. And he tells her about him and Buffy having slept together. Low blow there.
Jenny and Giles planning a reconciliation, oh boy.
Dru is just carrying around little puppy Sunshine for fun now. It does make her less scary though. The pupper is just too cute.
Jenny did it! Hse managed to figure out how to restore Angelus' soul, though probably not the best move in telling him that. After destroying the computer and the print out, a chases ensues leading to the death of Jenny Calender.
9 notes · View notes
sunnydalescoobiies · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
you look like shit, man.
Tumblr media
†  ――――     GILES  DIDN'T  USUALLY  GO  ON  PATROL  BY  HIMSELF  BUT,  WITH  EVERYTHING  THAT  HAD  BEEN  GOING  IN  WITHIN  THE  SCOOBY  GANG,  HE  FELT  LIKE  IT  WOULD  DO  HIM  SOME  GOOD  TO  BE  ON  HIS  OWN. he  was  still  dealing  with  the  death  of  joyce,  buffy's  mother,  and  the  impacts  it  has  made  on  not  only  the  group  or  his  slayer  but  himself  as  well.  he'd  never  say  it  out  loud,  especially  not  to  buffy,  but  he  had  deep,  intimate  feelings  for  joyce.  he  knew  his  feelings  would've  made  buffy  uncomfortable,  given  the  fact  that  he's  been  her  watcher  and  stand  in  father  figure  for  quite  some  time,  so  he  always  kept  it  quiet  and  on  the  down  low  which  meant  he  had  to  suffer  in  silence.  he  stewed  in  his  apartment  for  days,  reminiscing  about  her  and  the  little  memories  they  shared  one  on  one,  wondering  what  he  could've  done  to  save  her  even  though  he  knew  deep  inside  that  he  couldn't  have  done  anything.  her  death  was  inevitable  and  that's  what  broke  his  heart  the  most.
Tumblr media
SO,  GILES  HAD  FIGURED,  SOME  ROUGHING  UP  THE  VAMPIRES  OF  SUNNYDALE  WOULD  HELP  HIM  DUEL  OUT  HIS  FEELINGS.  what  he  didn't  count  on  was  running  into  @duquete  tonight;  in  the  cemetery  nonetheless.  he  had  just  gotten  finished  in  combat  with  a  vampire  that  almost  bested  him.  he  had  it  under  control,  of  course,  the  vampire  meeting  its  demise  with  a  big  pile  of  dust  in  the  end  but  it  was  close.  he  was  alive  and  that's  what  matters.  giles  had  blood  dripping  slightly  from  the  corner  of  his  mouth  and  his  glasses  were  crooked  as  they  rested  atop  his  nose.  he  laughed  at  the  other  man's  words,        “       yes,  well,  that's  one  way  to  put  it        ”     he  replied  jokingly.  he  dusted  off  his  clothing  and  proceeded  to  stand  straight  where  he  stood.  he  sighs  softly,  glancing  around  the  graveyard,        “      what  are  you  doing  out  this  late  unaccompanied     ?       ”     he  asked,  regaining  his  breath  from  his  previous  battle  moments  before.         “      is  there  trouble     ?        ”
1 note · View note
inkandpen22 · 3 years
Text
Shared Minds and Shared Souls (8/?)
Pairing: Spike x reader
Warnings: smut, swearing, arguing (mild)
Word Count: 2.4k
Part Summary: Y/N and Spike discover what happens when they kiss. Now, they start to wonder what may happen if they push the boundaries.
Masterlist
Tumblr media
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Spike checks on me in a panic.
“Never better!” I jump up and down as I pace about the crypt.
Spike holds out an arm to me, “Y/N, maybe you should sit-”
I squeal, the world feels so new! “I could climb a skyscraper or better yet, Mount Everest!” I clasp my hands together.
“That’s great, but-”
“I want to go to Europe!" I determine. "I’ve been, you wanna go? Let’s go!" I jump up and down. " You’re English, you’re old, you’ll know your way around! Natives won’t fuck with me if you’re around! All you have to do is go ‘roar,’ show your fangs a little, and-” I curl my fingers to mimic claws.
“Y/N!” Spike shouts. I stop immediately, a pout appears on my lips. He sighs, guilt etching his face. “Sorry, I-”
“No, you’re right," I nod calmly. "I don’t know what came over me there." A nervous laugh escapes me as I comb my fingers through my hair.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” He asks again, not convinced considering my frantic state.
“Yeah, kinda lightheaded," I admit. "But that’s probably from the sudden energy boost. It’s like having one too many cups of coffee.”
“Do you want me to drive you and Dawn home?” He offers, placing a hand on my shoulder.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head, “oh shit, Dawn! I’ve gotta go!”
“Wait,” spike grabs my forearm and spins me back around into his chest. He presses lips to mine and the glorious, all-encompassing feeling pours back into my body. Before I have the chance to fully enjoy it, Spike breaks away. “I’ll come by later.”
I nod, still kind of dazed and confused by the suddenness and intensity of the kiss. “Okay.”
Spike snickers lightly, letting me go. I exit the crypt and the chill of the night’s breeze courses over my skin. Maybe I shouldn’t drive? I’m still a little loopy. No, I’m fine, we’re fine! Plus, the sooner I get Dawnie home, the sooner Buffy will be done yelling. The sooner Buffy is done yelling, the sooner I can escape to my room, and the sooner Spike can come over. Yeah, I’m better than fine.
_______________________________________________
After all the dramatics, the Scoobies and Giles come over to discuss recent events with Glory. Oh yeah, she’s back, great right? I sit around the dining room table with them absentmindedly, struggling to conjure up an excuse to leave and head upstairs. It’s not as though any of them will let me fight Glory again because I’m ‘too weak to take her on.’ I check my watch and it’s well into the night. Spike could be here any minute, he could be upstairs waiting for me, this sucks.
Giles rambles on about his and Anya’s discoveries, “she’s far more powerful than we originally imagined. She-”
A thud from the ceiling interrupts the Watcher and makes everyone peer up.
“Okay, what the heck was that?” Xander questions sharply.
“Maybe it’s Glory and her minions!” Willow gasps, causing panic.
Starring at my lap absentmindedly, my eyes go wide with realization. Nope, it’s not Glory or her ugly trolls. More likely than not, it’s Spike landing in my room from the window. I accidentally leap up from my chair more noticeably than intended. Everyone’s attention turns to me and I laugh nervously under their intense stares.
“I left my crystals charging in my room and I must’ve lost focus. You know how loud they can be when they fall,” I stumble out an explanation as I cross the room to the foyer. “I’ll be right back!”
Sprinting up the stairs, I ignore their faint exchanges of curiosity. So what if they thought that whole thing was strange? When is anything in our lives normal? Xander is dating an ex-vengeance for Lord’s sake!
I swing open the door to my dark bedroom, nothing but the moonlight lingering in from the windows illuminate the space. I enter cautiously, seeing no sign of Spike. I start to question whether there was really a thud, but everyone heard it too. I couldn’t have imagined it.
The door behind me swings shut. Before I have the chance to look, arms wrap around my waist and I’m yanked back into someone’s chest. I gasp, panicking that its Glory or one of her minions.
“Hello, Love,” Spike whispers in my ear.
I relax, my heart pounding in my chest. Then, I swat his leather-covered arms. “You’re such an ass!” I laugh.
“Sorry Pet, I couldn’t resist,” he chuckles, releasing his hold lightly to stand in front of me. His hands remain on my waist with a squeeze as he plants a quick peck on my lips. “I missed you.”
“I miss you too,” I grin, leaning in to kiss him again.
“Ah, ah, ah,” he shakes his head. I frown and Spike is quick to explain. “Wouldn’t want you to go all Zeus on me again.”
I roll my eyes, stepping out of his embrace. “Tease,” I name call jokingly, well... partially.
He’s like a drug dealer who gets you hooked then drops you. Leaving you wanting more, so much so that you’re willing to go mad for it.
“Shilly-shally,” he fires back in a grumble.
My jaw drops as I whip my head around. “What did you just call me?”
He pouts, avoiding my gaze as he focuses on the floor. “Nothing...”
“No, say it!” I challenge, laughing breathlessly. “What did you call me?”
“Alright fine!” He straightens up and closes in on me. “I called you a shilly-shally person! An indecisive fence-sitter! One minute you’re yelling at me- like right now- and the next you’re on me like velcro!” His face softens, “which I don’t mind by the way, but it’s all kinda confusing. I wake up asking myself what version of Y/N am I getting today?” He mumbles the last bit.
My chest rises and falls rapidly as Spike towers over me in such close proximity. There it is again, the electric pull to him that overwhelms my mind whenever we’re in the same room. When we’re apart he’s still in my head. My eyes land on his lips and I can’t look away.
“Y/N...” Spike whispers.
“Yeah?” I mutter, distracted in my own head.
I feel his hand appear on my waist, gliding across my shirt and down my back. He glides closer to me, my chest pressed against his.
“We shouldn’t do this,” he states wisely, but his actions say don’t express the same amount of self-control.
I nod, “We shouldn’t... it would be wrong.” My hands run down his chest and I can feel the ripple of his muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt.
“We should stop,” he whispers, hovering his lips over my neck.
I hum, I know he’s right, but I can’t break free. It’s if I’m in a trance. “Spike?”
He hums and I can feel his warm breath against my neck.
My eyes fall shut as I ponder the feel of him against me, his hands wondering my body. “I need to do something for me.”
“Don’t need to ask me twice,” he growls. In a swift motion, he grabs the back of my legs and guides them around his waist.
I land on my bed with a yelp and Spike hovers over me. His lips smash to mine with such an intensity that I stop breathing for a second. Spike’s hands claw at my body and I can’t ignore the glowing light that appears when I close my eyes. It’s the same sort I saw in the crypt. My fingers comb through his hair, forgetting everything and just enjoying the sensation.
Spike breaks from me, gasping for air, “you really want to try this?”
I hum, nodding my head frantically. I don’t care about what happens, all I know is that I need spike now! Like right now, this moment! I lean up to kiss him again, but he cowers back subtly. Hesitation consumes his features, “but what if-”
“I don’t know what will happen!” I confess. “But I know I don’t care!”
Visibly, Spike faces an internal battle. His hand hovers over my cheek, he’s so close to touching my skin, but he stops himself. I slip my hand over his and his eyes grow wide as I guide it down to my cheek. I nod, giving him full permission. I want to do this.
I close my eyes, focusing hard on myself and internalizing so I don’t slip away. Spike slips his hand under my shirt and grips my waist. His touch is cold, yet warm at that same if that’s possible. My attention slips to the sensation and I feel drawn to him. No, no, I have to focus on myself. I hear my breathing, I feel Spike’s hand and the bedding beneath me. Steadily, Spike begins to glides his hand down and unbuckles my jeans. My cheeks become warm as they blush.
“Spike,” I mutter, feeling myself becoming distracted.
Ignoring my warning, he continues his pursuit. His fingers slip into my jeans and rub against my core. I inhale sharply as he picks up his pace and deepens his pressure. Spike is making it hard to focus as all I want to do is touch him and be consumed by him. His fingers glide up and down my core at a steady pace. I shift in my position slightly, my back arching off my bed. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to remain focused.
Hurriedly, Spike breaks away from my lips and towers over me. Gripping the hem of my jeans, he tugs them off my legs. Already needing more, I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and bring him back down to bring his lips to mine. He continues his motion against my core as he deepens the kiss. He’s not playing fair. My fingers comb through his hair and I find it impossible to not want more. He removes his hand from me to shake off his jacket. Using my magic, I press my hand to his back and remove his shirt. Spike snickers against the kiss at my actions.
“You couldn’t do that to your bloody pants!” he snickers against my lips. “Think you could help a boy out and return the favor?”
I giggle and mentally remove my shirt. In a blink it’s gone, along with Spike’s pants, kill two birds with one stone.
“Can you do that trick more often?” He insinuates.
“Spike!”
He laughs and presses his lips to mine hungrily. It nearly takes my breath away. The addictive sensation of his kiss and a gift from the Devil himself. I roll my hips subconsciously, wanting us to be closed somehow. Spike growls and I feel the vibration against my lips. I’m too weak to deny my want for more. I want everything from Spike.
Then, I start to sense my attention slipping as more of our skin comes into contact. I want to give into him, forget trying to focus. Yet, I’d slip into his mind and would lose control. I’ve never heard of two individuals ‘in the moment’ and sharing a mind. We would be experiencing the same exact thoughts and emotions. I mean, there’s no greater form of being intertwined! We would be physically and emotionally entangled... we would lose individuality altogether. In that supernatural world, that has to have side effects.
“God, I want you, Y/N” he moans.
The sound pushes my willpower over the edge. Oh, screw it! I give into him and toss apprehension aside. All I know is that shagging Spike is all I want. The bright light that I experienced in the crypt is returning. It’s shimmering white and blue shades encompass my sight. The beautiful sensation of electricity coursing through my veins overwhelms my body and soul. I lose myself in the drug-like feeling.
My awareness returns to me in a jolt as Spike enters me. I gasp for a second as I experience the moment fully attached to my body.
"Are you okay, Love?" Spike checks, gently brushing strands away from my face. "Are you still with me?"
I hum as a wave of complex bliss rushes me entirely. Spike continues, and I feel myself slipping away into the angelic, heavenly, warmth that draws me.
"Bloody hell, Y/N," he whispers. His warm breath brushes against my collar bone and he leaves trails along the path. “You’re so beautiful.”
I feared intimacy as it posed a risk, yet how could this possibly be bad? I don't even feel human anymore. I feel... other-worldly! Swiftly, I change the pace, switching positions with him. My strength is magnified as I pin Spike down to the bed by his wrists. He peers up at me with amazement in his eyes. Clearly, he's not used to having someone be strong enough to challenge him. In my defense, I'm not used to holding this much power.
I roll my hips, feeling the pleasure build up in my core. Spike digs his nails into my hips as he squeezes his eyes shut and arches his neck back.
"Y/N," he pants, sounding like warning.
I love the sound his voice, especially now. I can’t imagine my world without him in it. I break away from his lips and start a trail down his neck. He shifts under me as this breathe quickens.
The power he grants me is too great to refuse. I continue my actions, wanting him to hit his climax because of me. All I want is to make him happy, grant him every pleasure the world has to over. The idea of that only excites me more and makes me quicken my pace. There's a powerful charge of foreign magic channeling through my body. My spirit has never been higher.
"Holy shit," I gasp as the feeling of my climax coming into reach.
Who's ever described an out of body experience, I get it now! Every touch, kiss, it's all intensified. Everything I'm experiencing is magnified. The glimmer behind my eyes explodes and my eyes snap open.
"Y/N?" I hear a voice angelic voice speak my name. “Y/N!”
I've never experienced anything like this before! All I see is a bright white light in front of me like I'm at Heaven's gate. Chills travel over my skin and a wave of warmth breezes over me as I approach the bright light. It shimmers and waves of blue glisten around me. All I have to do is reach out and touch it. I hold out my hand toward the light and my hand escapes in it. The light travels up my arm and toward my chest. A glimmering crystal blue lighting bolt like thread pierces my chest and I gasp. My eyes fall shut and the world around me goes dark as I slip away.
"Y/N!" I hear Spike voice fades out like a distance breeze.
_________________________________
Masterlist
Tags:  @mx-pibbles​ @hexmancia​ @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream​
56 notes · View notes
ilguna · 4 years
Text
Metanoia - Chapter Fourteen (f.o)
Summary: you will be crowned victor of the 75th hunger games.
Word Count; 5k
Warnings; swearing, mention of murder and torture
NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.
If the career districts had their hands on books like these, you would have been forced to read them. Mercilessly. Like, a whole couple of units just studying these useless things. They’re mostly published for the Capitol citizens--which is why they’re not supplied in districts--but imagine having everything you could possibly need to know, in a couple of books.
These handbooks are genius. Even if they’re meant for entertainment and not practical use, they’re fucking fantastic.
Every nine years, one of these books comes out. Inside, they have every tribute that had gone in for those nine years--which comes out to be two hundred and sixteen tributes in total. They have the names, ages, weights, heights, eye and hair colors. Who their mentor, stylist, prep team and district representative was, and so much more.
For example, for the year you won, they start with the tributes and their information. 
District One, Deimos Chambers. Black hair, brown eyes. He was seventeen, six-foot-one, with a weight of one hundred and seventy five. His mentor was Gloss, and as for the rest, it seems a little unimportant to you. However, his go-to weapon during training was always a sword, and he seemed to be very skilled in hand-to-hand combat.
Which all career tributes are skilled in, but whatever. You’re all taught to be proficient in something, and it’s mainly hand-to-hand. You’ll hardly see a career tribute try and do shit from far away. You know you wouldn’t bother all that much. From far away, you risk the chances of missing, up close, you can kill them in one goddamn shot.
Deimos’ score was a whopping ten, which is basically what all the comprehensive people had gotten. In his interview he wore all black, and when the lights had been shut off momentarily, the glow in the dark constellations came to life. And it wasn’t that bullshit green color either. It was white, and looked like there were actual lightbulbs behind it all, but the stylist was just creative.
It lists the people he chose to be allies with: Alhena, Zeke, and yourself. How many he killed during the bloodbath, which was one. But in total from start to finish it was three to four, counting assist kills. It says how he died, how many days he survived for, and what he placed.
Next is Alhena Hurley. Brown hair, blue eyes. She was sixteen, five-foot-seven, weighing in at one hundred and thirty five. Her mentor was Cashmere, respectively. Her chosen weapon inside of the training center was a mace, and her special note was that she was strong.
“Not emotionally.” you mutter, snickering to yourself as you continue reading.
Alhena got a score of nine, her interview dress was silver, with black specks on it--which is more or less the opposite of what Deimos had. She killed two people in the bloodbath, and that would stay her number for the rest of the games. She died because she got killed on the third day by someone who was hiding in the trees.
On the District One page, it holds both Deimos and Alhena. Pictures of what they wore during the reaping, train station, parade, interview and inside of the arena. Along with their special picture that would indicate that they were dead. The next page holds their family and friend interviews--if they had any--with the questions that Caesar asked and the answers given by their loved ones.
Then, there’s District Two, starting off strong with Zeke. Blonde hair, brown eyes. Seventeen, six foot on the dot, weighing roughly one hundred and sixty pounds. You guys had the same mentor, so it was Enobaria. He was boring and chose a sword, and his special skill was that he was always moving. More or less, he was quick.
Training score of ten, his suit was a bronze color, while the dress shirt was actually black. It was sorta metallic in the light. Zeke managed to kill one person in the bloodbath, and came out to two to three at the end. And he obviously placed second, because you were the one that killed him so that you could win.
And then there’s yourself. (Y/n) Rosecelli, sixteen. You had fairly short hair when you went inside of the arena--just so that it wouldn’t be grabbed and used against you. You were pretty tall, around the recommended weight group--although, that didn’t really matter in the end--and your mentor was Enobaria. Your chosen weapon inside of the training center was the sai’s and your special talent was being a know-it-all.
You scored a ten, got the same metallic bronze color of a dress with the matching black. Inside of the arena you had killed eight people, placing number one. At the very top of the page it says ‘WINNER!’, like it’s some fucked up game and not a fight for your survival.
It had the pictures and interviews as the others did, but with yours it’s extra special. You get the second interview by Caesar and what outfit you had worn for it. A small section for all the highlights inside of the arena, and then the victory tour, with the celebration at the mansion. All the headlines that you had gotten for being inside of the Capitol ‘willingly’. 
And there’s also close-up pictures of all the tattoos you had gotten while you were there too.
It makes you sick knowing that they had produced these for entertainment, when it really could have been for the betterment of future tributes. Apart from all the useless shit they had for profiling the tributes, they literally had their battle plans.
Like for Finnick, it says that he used a fishing net while he and the opponent were in water. He’d get them tangled, and then when he was sure they couldn’t hurt him, he’d just kill them with his super expensive trident. And all the tributes didn’t know to be afraid of him until it was too late.
Just like with Johanna too. She played stupid for her entire time inside of the Capitol, and a little bit into the games to draw people in. She purposely scored low on her private training session--which is no doubt a big setback sponsor-wise. But then she became a killing machine, and almost a legend of sorts.
It made tributes wary of those who pretended to be stupid like that. Gave away their entire motive, because Johanna had done it first, and she won because of it. Anyone who did pose a threat early on would get killed.
It’s the exact reason why you went after the District Four tributes when you did. Your games were directly after Finnick’s, and the thought of one of those fish-eating fuckers getting their hands on you like that was terrifying. So, the only way to eliminate the chance of that happening, is to get rid of the only people who really know their way around water, and nets, and fishing.
Finnick likely hated that, the fact that you went after them specifically when you had the chance. However, you know deep-down that he appreciated that you wouldn’t let them suffer. You just wanted them dead immediately to get rid of the chance of them still being alive. You wouldn’t move from the bodies until the cannons had gone off.
Honestly, your allies should have killed you when they had the chance. If you were smart enough to stand over tributes to make sure that they were dead before moving on, that should have been a red flag. Even when they had wanted to leave tributes to bleed out and die, you’d be the one to finish them off.
Not to mention, you marking your arm after every broadcast of The Fallen was a whole new level of insane. And it’s not like they didn’t notice it or anything, they just chose not to point it out. They knew what it was for and all, but they didn’t say anything.
Someone clears their throat, making you look up from the handbook. You’re not really surprised to see Finnick standing there, in the same white scrubs that you’re wearing.
“Good afternoon.” you flip the page, landing right onto the District Four tributes from your games, “Or evening, I can’t tell in this coffin anymore.”
“The nurses tell me you haven’t left your room in a couple of days.” he doesn’t move from the doorway.
You give him a glance, “Why would I? Peeing in my own bathroom is just the same as the one down the hall. Both have cold toilet seats and smell like cleaning products.”
Finnick cracks a smile, coming into the room now, “What’re you reading?”
“Hunger games handbooks.” you hold it up for him to see briefly, “This is the year I won, and these are the tributes you mentored.”
Finnick comes over, and you turn the book so he can read it a little.
Brook Giles, fifteen, five-foot-eight, around one hundred and fifty six pounds. He has bleached brown hair and blue eyes. His training score was a nine, he wore a classic light blue and white suit during his interviews. His go-to weapon was a sword inside of the training center and he died on the first day because you killed him.
“One of my first takeouts,” you watch his face, wondering if he’ll get mad if you talk about it so carelessly, “It was almost fun.”
Finnick meets your eyes, “You were scared, just like the rest of them.”
“I killed him because he reminded me of you.” you then turn to the girl, “And so did she.”
Mira Osborne, sixteen, blonde hair and green eyes. Five-foot-five, one hundred and forty pounds. She wore a white dress that barely went to her knees, some blue accents here and there. She scored an eight, her go-to weapon was a spear. One kill, and only a few days later she’d die because you’d find her hiding in a cove.
“I was fifteen when I watched you win, and I knew that the following year I’d likely be picked to volunteer. I realized that I didn’t know how to swim at all, and the thought of ending up in a net, scared and drowning was more terrifying than anything I had come across up until that point of my life.” you smile, looking at Finnick now, “So, I dug a hole in my backyard, filled it with water and taught myself how to swim.”
Finnick stares, as if he doesn’t know if you’re kidding or not.
You aren’t.
“Of course, as extra precaution I chose to go after them first. Anyone who got in the way was an added bonus to my kill streak. I hunted Mira like she was a fucking deer and I was starving.” Finnick’s silence is what you expected for telling him information like this, and you’re not even done yet, “And had you not been my soulmate, you, Mags, Katniss, Peeta and Johanna would have ended up just like her.
“And I wouldn’t have stopped until you were all dead.”
Finnick straightens up, stiff. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but snaps his mouth shut.
Smug, you smirk, “What? Did you suddenly realize that I’m exactly who I told you I was?”
Finnick turns to leave, and you wait patiently as he goes towards the door frame. But then he grabs the chair by it, and takes a seat. Although, just by looking at his body language, he doesn’t want to be here. And he doesn’t want to let you win this either.
You laugh, rolling your eyes as you flip the book open again, “You’re making a grave mistake.”
“Stop telling me that.”
You glance up, “Is it because you know that I’m right and you don’t want to admit it? You know you’re leaving a nice, capable girl that would love to settle down, have kids and grow old with you. For someone who’s an insufferable bitch that hates the life she’s been given, and everything that she’s ever cared for gets killed or leaves her.”
“Is that why you won’t let me at least be friends with you?”
You take in a deep breath, “No, I don’t want you near me at all because you’re you. You’re Finnick Odair, darling of the Capitol. You’re Finnick Odair, the youngest victor in history who was also given the most expensive gift ever sent inside of the arena.” you laugh, “Oh! And you’re Finnick Odair, the man who also exposed Snow for who he is. Which lets you be in the spotlight more times that you’re worthy of.”
“So you think you’re not worthy?”
It’s like a blinding rage for a split second as you hurl the twenty-five pound book straight at Finnick, “I can’t fucking stand you!”
Finnick catches the book just barely before it hits him in the face, “(Y/n)--”
“No.” you cut him off, “No, you don’t get to pretend like you’re the voice of reason here, because you’re not. I’m a fucking nightmare, and even I know when enough is enough.” You get up and off of the bed, grabbing a hold of the necklace Tanith gifted you. As you begin to leave your safe place, you point at him, “I know what the fuck is wrong with you.
“You hopped from what you think is one broken girl to another. But news flash, Finnick, I’ve lost much more people,” you get down to his eye level, “I lost my entire family when I got home to District Two after I won my games. And it wasn’t just my immediate family, it was distant aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. Everyone who was even a shred related to me, is now dead. I’m the only one left of my fucking bloodline.”
You stand up now, “Losing Tanith is nothing compared to what I had lost then. I wish I had grown a pair and stepped off the fucking hovercraft to bury her, because doing that wouldn’t have been nearly as much as a hassle compared to dealing with you.”
Finnick doesn’t say anything, and you don’t wait to see if he does either. You go straight out, ignoring the nurses that stare at you, because it really is the first time you’ve left the room in days. Everything is delivered to you, if there’s something you want, they’ll go and get it.
You have a vague idea of where you want to go, just getting there is going to be the problem. Typically, even if you do leave the room, someone will follow you out to keep an eye on you. You remember very vividly, a certain nurse standing at an arm's distance from you, during Coin’s last speech. When she announced the liberation of the prisoned victors.
A joke. This whole place is one fucking circus.
Just as you expected, the floor is pretty vacant. Here and there, someone will wander in and out, but that’s really it. You give a look behind you, confirming that there isn’t a nurse following you just yet. Then, you take off towards the elevator.
You barely remember how that one doctor used it, but it shouldn’t be that hard. You press the button, bringing the lift to you. When it stops and makes the annoying sound, you pull the guard rail up, and then step inside. Pulling it down again, you can see one of the nurses round the corner.
You give her a bright smile, punching the top floor, “Tata.”
The elevator starts moving up, and you give her a wave. Then, she’s blocked out by the cement flooring.
For the rest of the ride up, you cross your arms and wait, staring straight ahead. Your game plan is to head to the woods and don’t stop walking until you’re lost. Hopefully, no one will think to follow you out there.
The elevator stops at the top floor, allowing you to be met face to face with a band of people. They’re pulling up the guard rail before you even have a chance to reach for it.
Katniss is on a stretcher, her sister is hovering over her. Haymitch, Beetee, Gale and Boggs are nearby. Not to mention all the other people behind them.
“Geez.” you move out of the way, allowing Katniss to be wheeled in. Beetee and Gale fit themselves on, but Boggs and Haymitch don’t follow.
There’s not nearly enough room for them all to fit on the elevator, anyway. And apparently it gives Boggs to grab a hold of you before you can escape.
“Where are you going?”
You give him a kind smile, “I was given the okay to clear my head for a little.”
“Why are you still in scrubs, then?”
You make a face, shrugging, “Don’t ask me, they’re the ones that told me I was free to go whenever.”
Boggs doesn’t look convinced, and honestly, neither does Haymitch.
“Fine, I made a breakaway because I can’t fucking stand it in there.” you pull your arm from Bogg’s grasp, “For a district that’s all about equality, I don’t see why it should matter if I come up here to disappear for a little while. Or the fact that I’m being followed around when I do leave my room because you guys think I’m some sort of Capitol bootlicker.”
Haymitch laughs, “Same old (Y/n).”
“That’s rich, coming from you.” you then look at Boggs, “Don’t send anyone to follow me. I’ll come back when I feel like I’m ready to breathe stale air and eat shit for dinner.”
“Had you expressed your distaste for District Thirteen earlier, we might have taken you right back to District Two.” Boggs says.
You raise your eyebrows, “Earlier? When did you go?”
“A couple hours ago.” Haymitch says, “We just got back.”
You laugh, shaking your head, “Great, my only way out of this shithole and I wasn’t even aware of it. It’s funny how you brought the guy in the wheelchair and not the girl who literally grew up there her entire life.”
“I’ll keep that in mind next time.” Bogg says, “Enjoy your walk.”
The elevator is back, and they step on. You turn around and leave, heading straight towards the opening. You can already hear the chirps of the birds and you’re nowhere near the door.
You pick up the pace, jogging right past the people that work out here. One of them waves, and you raise your hand in acknowledgement. The smile doesn’t even come across your face until the sun is in your eyes.
You take a sharp left, taking the trail for the most part. When you’re out of the sight of those inside of the building, you slow your pace, taking your time with getting lost. 
You’re not even kidding when you say that it’s literal fresh air. This smells and tastes nothing like what goes underground. It’s stale, and out here it’s sweet. It must have rained a couple days ago or something because the plants have that smell to them--petrichor.
After a while, you detour from the trail, heading into the trees some more. You weren’t kidding when you said that you’d like to get lost. Being out here, wandering for hours on end is going to be more entertaining than reading those depressing handbooks. On top of that, you won’t have to see Finnick’s face for a while.
He really does get on your nerves. Him pretending that he knows every single detail about you, and claiming the opposite of what you tell him is pissing you off. You’re a lot of things, but a liar isn’t one of them. You’d rather be told the heartbreaking truth than have someone lie through their teeth. So, you assume other people like it that way too. It cuts out a lot of unnecessary drama.
Unless it’s another person’s lie, then you’ll play along. If they want to fabricate things for their own gain, then have at it. Who are you to say no to them?
With Finnick, you’ve told him several times, over and over that you can’t stand him. And he acts as if that’s all going to magically change if he forces you to get used to his company or whatever. And you even dumbed it down for him, explained what the deal was. You don’t want him, you don’t need him. You want or need the help.
He doesn’t need to stick around after that wish has been fulfilled. All he’s doing is hurting his own feelings. 
At this point, it might just be the challenge of getting you to like him. Show some kind of friendship just so he can drop it. You wonder if you fake it, he’ll finally leave you alone. You might just have to try that out until he realizes that you’ve had an entire personality flip.
Finnick would probably see that it’s a facade but might go along with it just to see how long you can keep it up for.
It’ll be your own personal game. How long can you be nice on the outside and calm on the inside until Finnick does something completely absurd that it makes you flip your shit? The time starts now.
You take a deep breath, going down the hill carefully, because you can clearly see the river. Off to the left some more are shoeprints and the trail that you had supposedly detached yourself from. It doesn’t really matter anymore, as long as you can sit here and be by yourself, you’re fine.
You get as close to the water as possible, taking off the shoes and rolling up the scrubs. You let your legs sit in the water as you lean back on your hands, staring at the scenery. It truly is a beautiful place here, but you’d never want to stay. Even if District Two is in shambles, you want to go back.
It’s your home. It holds so much grief and terror, and yet you just want to be back in the comforts of your own town. You want to see all your old neighbors before your victory. And see Victor’s Village overflowing with people always, no matter how annoying they were.
They’re all dead now. The only surviving victors from District Two is Lyme, and yourself. Everyone else is dead. Enobaria, Neysa, Tanith, Sorcha, Brutus, Edmond, Zavian and everyone else. Lyme had filled you in, that Snow had them all killed, and anyone else who proved valuable went with him.
Lyme and Paylor are lucky to be alive.
You’d literally give anything to talk to one of them again. To relive Tanith showing up uninvited in your house the morning of the reaping. You would have been so much more gentle than usual if you had known that it would have been the last real conversation without gloom hanging over your heads.
At least you’re lucky to say that your final goodbyes to her and Zavian wasn’t terrible at all. You were able to hug them both and tell them just how much they meant to you. Even if it wasn’t really heartfelt for Zavian, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world he could have heard.
And now they’re gone, and you’re still alive.
“Lucky me.” you murmur, finding a rock and tossing it into the water.
It’s funny how you only feel bad after all those people are dead. You would never in your right mind would have ever thought of being kind to those people until now. You’ve got some genuine guilt on your hands. 
Edmond and Neysa really had tried to act in your best interest. They knew your limits, but you like to think that you can push it. Like Edmond making sure you’d be sober and not make a fool of yourself in front of all those people at the train station. He wasn’t doing it to restrict you. And even though he didn’t show it the best way, you could have at least tried to understand.
Neysa just wanted you to get good allies. She wanted to give you a fighting chance, and had you just followed what she wanted, you wouldn’t have been so waist-deep in shit with distrust from Finnick’s alliance. She knew something you didn’t when it came to the fact that you shouldn’t go off alone inside of the arena.
And yet you like to be independent. 
There’s a crunching of leaves beneath boots, making you dip your head for a moment. You sigh through your nose, raise your head and then look over your shoulder. It’s exactly who you thought it would be, but he’s not wearing those white scrubs anymore. He’s also got some clothes draped over his arm.
You squint at him, “Are you wearing a suit?”
“Not the reaction I was expecting.” Finnick’s got his signature smile on his face, showing off his dimples.
You turn away before you can say something mean. 
“I figured you’d rather run away in something much more fashionable.” Finnick stops behind you.
“How’d you know?”
You stare at the water for another moment, before pushing yourself up, brushing off the dirt from your butt, knowing full well that it’s still going to be there. In Finnick’s hands sit some familiar ripped black jeans, but a navy blue shirt.
“I see they have a pattern.” you hold up the shirt to see, “And it has a breast pocket too.”
“The pink shirt was thrown away since you destroyed the hem.”
“I was anxious.” you reason, placing the shirt back.
You take off the white scrub shirt, making Finnick turn his head away. A smile appears on your face, because he acts like he literally hasn’t seen you naked before--cough cough, after you got bit by spiders. Butt ass naked, it wasn’t just Finnick who saw you completely nude. You flashed the whole fucking country.
They probably couldn’t keep that in, and had to change the camera perspective after that. 
You pull on the shirt, and then you pull off the bottoms, being sure to wipe your muddy feet on them to clean off your feet.
“So what made you follow me out here this time?” you ask, taking the jeans and pulling them on.
“Your stunning personality, as always.” Finnick looks over now, “And the fact that Haymitch and Boggs wanted me to follow you out here. I tried to tell them it wasn’t the brightest idea, but they had me do it anyway, gave you a thirty minute head start first, though.”
“Smart of them. I’m assuming you saw Katniss, then?” 
“Seems like she’s been taking hit after hit lately.”
“Imagine getting strangled by your fiance.” you laugh, and Finnick joins in.
“Imagine getting punched by your soulmate.” Finnick gives you a look.
You roll your eyes, “Okay, you have to admit that you deserved it.”
“Whatever makes you feel better about yourself.”
You press your lips together, stomping your foot into the boots since you’re too lazy to untie them. You repeat the process with your left foot, which takes a lot longer. Finnick just laughs at you the entire time, since you refuse to go down and fix it yourself.
“Let’s get serious for a moment.” you look at Finnick, and he looks a little afraid, “It’s nothing bad, you might even think I’m lying for a second.���
“That’s not--why would you say that?” he laughs.
You take your dirty scrubs from his hands, “Because I think ahead.” you tap the side of your head, “Anyway, I honestly want to apologize for what I said earlier.”
Finnick’s eyebrows skyrocket, and you can’t help but to laugh, “You’re being serious?”
“I am.” you start towards the trail, “And I would also like to apologize for everything that I’ve said before that. And all my actions too, like if I punched you or threw something at you.”
“Where’s all this coming from?” Finnick asks, “I mean, I accept but you gotta tell me why.”
You look at him, “I was thinking before you came out here--obviously--that people aren’t really out to get me. I don’t have to be independent and fight by myself anymore, not when there’s people with the same… struggles. You get it, right?”
Finnick’s impressed, “I do.”
“You know, a genius once told me that I’m not as dislikable as I like to think.” 
It takes Finnick a moment before it clicks in his head. He’s the one that said it to you.
“A genius, huh?”
“Don’t let it get to your head.” 
He nods, “Well, if we’re apologizing for things--”
“We’re cool, you don’t have to.”
Finnick ignores you, “--I’m sorry for approaching you so strongly.”
“You thought that it was the only way to get through to me, I get it. If someone has their walls up, sometimes the only way to get them down is if you meet their energy.”
“Do I even know you?” Finnick laughs.
“Oh, the glory of having an epiphany.” you smile, giving him a look, “So what are we dressed up for?”
“Your newfound freedom.”
“The fuck?” you laugh.
“Haymitch and Boggs convinced Coin to get you a little more freedom, which means that they weaseled me in too. We get a dorm, get to eat with the others and we can come up here whenever we want.”
“I have a feeling this is a little bit of bullshit.”
Finnick chuckles, “How did you know?”
“You can’t deceive me, I see through most of the shit you and your buddies do. I pay attention. I knew you, Johanna and the others were in an alliance before it was formed. And I also knew that you were planning a rebellion, and all you asked is if I was a loyalist.” you get back to walking, “You could even say that I’m a little insightful.”
“I’ll give you that one.” Finnick agrees, “Also, before we go back inside, you should know something else.”
“What did you do this time?” you look at Finnick.
He’s stopped walking, and so you do too, “I’ve ended things with Annie completely.”
82 notes · View notes
drinkthehalo · 4 years
Text
Macro perspective on each Lymond book
I've been listening to the Lymond Chronicles audiobooks, which has given me a different perspective than reading them. With audiobooks, you’re less inclined to stop and dive into the details, to look up an interesting word or obscure historical fact; instead you get swept along with the larger arc of the book.
So, I thought it would be interesting to look at what each book is about from a macro perspective.
Spoilers for the entire series follow.
The Game of Kings
In genre, it's a mystery told in a historical adventure style; it asks the question "Who is Lymond?" and gives us a ton of contradictory clues, then finally reveals the truth - in a psychological sense by stripping away Lymond's defense mechanisms and revealing the human being underneath, as he breaks down in the dell, "the guard was down... every fluent line and practised shade of Lymond's face betrayed him explicitly"; and in a narrative sense via the trial, which examines each "clue" we received throughout the story and tells us what it really meant.
Thematically, it's mainly about "serving honesty in a crooked way" - that morality isn’t simple and that sometimes you need to break the rules to do the right thing.  Nearly all Lymond’s acts are apparently bad things done for a goal that is actually good. We see the theme also in Will Scott (who learns that the world is more complicated than the "moral philosophy" he learned in school) and the various characters who help Lymond, breaking the rules of society by aiding a wanted outlaw (Christian, Sybilla, the Somerviles). 
It is also about the balance of looking out for self vs the obligation to the greater society - Lymond is not completely selfless (after all, he is back in Scotland to clear his own name), but when forced to choose, he always chooses the greater good above his own goals. He is contrasted with Richard, whose great mistake is to put his obligations to Scotland at risk in pursuit of his personal vengeance, and Margaret Lennox, who is purely and grotesquely out only for herself.
The historical context is part of this theme, as we see the various border families playing both sides between England and Scotland, with the heroes being those who ultimately stand up for Scotland, even as we understand that some have no choice but to profess one thing while doing another.
Queens Play
In genre, it's a spy novel; thematically, it's about what Lymond will do with the rest of his life. The question is asked explicitly several times (most obviously, "You have all your life still before you." / "The popular question is, for what?") It's important that Lymond loses his title at the start of this book; he has to figure out who he will be without it.
The main characters all represent possible paths Lymond could take -
O'Liam Roe, who sits back and laughs at the world with detachment, while abdicating all responsibility to use his mind and position to change the world for the better.
Robin Stewart, who loses himself in bitterness about the ways the world has been unfair to him, and in fixating on how he deserved better, fails to take any action to improve himself.
Oonagh, who works passionately to change the world for the better, but whose ideals have become corrupted because she has attached herself to a leader who is more out for himself than for their cause.
And of course Thady Boy and Vervassal, two extremes of himself that Lymond tries on, and (by the end of the series) must learn to reconcile.
The recurring imagery of the first half is the carnival, the masks, the music, the parties, and our hero in danger of losing himself amidst the debauchery. In the second half the imagery every time Lymond appears is of ice, the ultra-controlled, hyper-competent version of Lymond at risk of losing himself by denying his artistic soul. (There’s a wonderful essay here that explores these motifs.)
In the end, Lymond comes to the conclusion that he must not withdraw into detachment or bitterness, that he must find a way to make a positive difference in the world, but that he also must not attach himself to a powerful figure who may be more out for themselves than for Scotland (ie, his refusal to attach himself to Marie de Guise). This sets up the creation of his mercenary army in the next books, as a way he can exercise independent influence in the world.
The Disorderly Knights
This book couldn't be more relevant to the world today. It's a portrait of cynical hypocrisy in pursuit of power; it lays out step by step the tactics of propaganda and manipulation used by despots to build up themselves and tear down their rivals: pretend to be pious, accuse of others of your own crimes, tear down straw men instead of engaging in real debate. It tells us to "look at his hands"; what matters is what a leader actually does, not what he professes to believe.
It shows us how leaders use charisma to manipulate, and, in showing the battle between Gabriel and Lymond for Jerott's loyalty, shows how Lymond takes the harder and more ethical path, by refusing to use his charisma to seduce (a lesson learned from his experience with Robin Stewart) and instead guiding Jerott to come to his own conclusions by means of rational thought instead of hero worship.
At every level the novel advocates for tolerance and internationalism, and against petty sectarianism, as Lymond questions whether the Knights of St John are really any better than the Turks, and as he tries to get the Scottish border families to abandon their feuds in favor of the greater good of the country.
In terms of genre, it’s a pure adventure novel. I never get bored of the masterful action sequences with the battles in Malta and Tripoli, and the extraordinary duel at St Giles in the end. (Also in terms of thematic imagery, there is some crazy S&M shit going on in this book, with Gabriel and Joleta's sadism and Lymond's self-sacrificial masochism.)
I love Disorderly Knights so much. It is nearly perfect - well structured, thematically coherent, witty, fun, breathtaking, and heartbreaking.
Pawn in Frankincense
In genre, this is a quest novel. In several places it explicitly parallels The Odyssey.
In theme, it explores -
Do the ends justify the means? How much sacrifice is too much? Lymond gives up his fortune, his body, and his health; Philippa gives up her freedom and her future; we are asked often consider, which goal is more important, stopping Gabriel or saving the child? We even see this theme in Marthe's subplot, as she gives up the treasure, her dream to "be a person," to save her companions. Perhaps the most telling moment is right after Lymond kills Gabriel; despite all his claims that Gabriel’s death mattered more than the fate of the child, he’s already forgotten it, instead playing over and over in his mind the death of Khaireddin. If you do what is intellectually right but it destroys your soul, was it really right?
The other big theme is “nature vs nurture.” What is the impact of upbringing on how people turn out? In its comparisons of Kuzum vs Khaireddin, and Lymond vs Marthe, it seems to fall firmly on the side of nurture.
It’s also a kaleidoscope of views on love, with its Pilgrims of Love and their poetry, and the contrasting images of selfless, sacrificial love (Philippa and Evangelista for Kuzum, Salablanca for Lymond, Lymond for Khaireddin, perhaps Marthe for Lymond as she helps him in the end) with possessive, needy “love” (Marthe for Guzel, Jerott for Marthe or Lymond, arguably even the Aga for Lymond).
This novel is also a tragedy. Its imagery and the historical background complement the themes by creating an atmosphere lush, beautiful, labyrinthine, overwhelming, and suffocating.
The Ringed Castle
I have to confess this is my least favorite, in large part because I find the historical sequences (in Russia and in Mary Tudor's court in England) go on way too long and have only tangential relationships to the themes and characters.
It seems to be primarily about self-delusion as a response to trauma.  Lymond spends the entire novel trying to be someone he isn't, in a place he doesn't belong, because he is too damaged to face reality. (His physical blindness as a manifestation of his psychological blindness; the sequences at John Dee's, surrounded by mirrors, forcing him to see himself.) 
Lymond convinces himself he can build a wall around his heart to block out all human connection, that he can be a “machine,” but despite his best efforts, he cares for Adam Blacklock and develops a true friendship with Diccon Chancellor. And of course, by far the most important moment is after the Hall of Revels, when Lymond's heart unfreezes and he suddenly sees one thing VERY clearly. (And then tries, desperately, to escape it.)
The only reason I can think of that the book lingers so long on Mary Tudor (so boring omg) is the parallel with Lymond, her false pregnancies as a manifestation of her desire to see the world as she wants it to be, and her failure to see reality as it is. Ivan of Russia also is a parallel: delusional, unable to trust, and dangerous. Their failures, and the failure of Lymond's Russia adventure and relationship with Guzel, tell us that you cannot hide from reality forever.
The book spends so long painting the backdrop of 16th century Russia that it makes me think that Dunnett got too caught up in her research and needed a stronger editor, although there is also a parallel with Lymond in the idea of Russia as a traumatized nation struggling to establish itself, and of course, Lymond subsuming his need to deal with his own issues into a goal of building a nation.
It's also about exploration, about the intellectual wonder of discovering that there is more to the world, as we learn about Diccon Chancellor and the Muscovy Company. It’s wonderful imagery, but I struggle to how this fits coherently into the overall theme of the novel, and am curious how others reconcile it.
I like the idea of this book more than the reality. If you’re going to do to your hero what Dunnett did to Lymond in “Pawn,” there has to be consequences. But hundreds of pages of our hero in such a frozen state is difficult to read.
That said, the Hall of Revels is one of the best things in the series, and I’ll always love this book for that.
Checkmate
Checkmate is about reconciliation of self and recovery from trauma, as Lymond is forced (kicking and screaming) to accept who is and what he's done, and to allow himself to love and be loved. Philippa is his guide, as she discovers the secrets of his birth, understands his childhood, hears his tales of all the terrible things he's done, and loves him anyway. As far as genre, this is definitely a romance.
There are villains in this book (Leonard Bailey, Margaret Lennox, Austin Grey) but they're all fairly weak; the true antagonist is Lymond himself. From the beginning, he could have everything he needs to be happy (he's married to the woman he loves, and she loves him back!); his true struggle is to stop running from it (by escaping to Russia or committing suicide) and to break through his own psychological barriers enough to allow himself to accept it.
The primary parallel is with Jerott and Marthe, who also have happiness almost in their grasp, but never manage to achieve it.
The heritage plot looms large and is (IMO) tedious; it's so melodramatic that it takes some mental gymnastics to get it to make thematic sense to me. It ultimately comes down to Lymond's identity crisis and childhood trauma. His “father” rejected and abused him, so he based his identity on his relationship to his mother, but his suspicion that he is a bastard means he lives in terror that he doesn’t really belong in his family and that, if his mother isn’t perfect, he is rotten. (I love him but, my god, it is juvenile. The only way I can reconcile it is that his fear about the circumstances of his birth is really just a stand-in for his self-hatred caused by his traumas.) He also continues to struggle with his envy that Richard was born into a position with power and influence that Lymond has spent the past six books struggling to obtain, and that Lymond’s terrible traumas (starting with the galleys) would not have happened if he had been the heir. The discovery that he actually IS the legitimate heir is what finally snaps him out of it, since his reaction is to want to protect Richard, and this also reconciles him to Sybilla since protecting Richard was her goal too.
There are some other parts of this book that I struggle to reconcile (Lymond's inability to live if he can't have sex with Philippa; the way the focus on heritage seems to undercut the nature vs nurture themes; that no one but Jerott is bothered by Marthe's death, which undercuts some of the most moving moments in "Pawn”; and I mostly just pretend the predestination and telepathy stuff didn’t happen). On the other hand, I do sort of love the way this book wholeheartedly embraces the idea that there is no human being on earth who will ever be as melodramatic as Francis Crawford.
In terms of the historical elements, in addition to providing the narrative grounding for the character stuff to play out, it sets up the idea that Scotland has troubles coming up (the religious wars, the betrayal of the de Guises) and that Lymond needs to go home, let go of France and Russia, and focus on Scotland where he belongs. I’m sure there is also some political nuance in the fact that our Scottish hero, after spending so much time and energy in France, ends up with an English wife.
The conclusion in the music room is perfect - it brings us back to the amnesiac Lymond who innocently played music with Christian Stewart, to Thady Boy whose songs made the cynical French court weep, and fills the “void” Lymond described to Jerott where there was no prospect of music. The aspects of himself are finally reconciled and he has a partner to share his life with.
I am curious what others see as the macro / thematic big picture meanings of these books. :)  And if anyone can find the key to make “Ringed Castle” and “Checkmate” make more sense to me...
59 notes · View notes
melonsmessymusings · 4 years
Text
Things my family have said/done while watching BtVS... P1
I’ve kept a book of things that my family have said/done while watching BtVS over the years and some of them are hilarious... Quick introductions: 
Mum- Loves the show but constantly points out how problematic it is.
Dad- Lowkey vibes but pretends to hate it. Doesn’t like the emotional romance marathons. Also hates problematic plotlines.
Hannah (Sister)- Loves it for the cringe romance moments that make it a ‘young adult’ show. She spends more time focused on Buffy than anyone else
Nathan (Brother)- Hates it. Literally so sick of watching it because it’s always on in the family house. Made a twenty minute YouTube video explaining how shit he thinks it is. 
Mason (Me)- I mean... it’s pretty obvious where I stand
“Why doesn’t the vampire just shoot her? They’re in America, he can buy one at Walmart! ‘Oh we’re going to kill the Slayer’ BANG! That’d be it, that’d be so much easier!” - Dad, pretty much every time he sees a vampire
“Tell me when it’s over!”- Hannah, watching Killed By Death with the eye demon thing. 
“MINIONS!”- Dad, S5 whenever he sees a minion. He loves them. 
“Can Buffy kill me too so I don’t have to watch this shit?”- Nathan while rolling around on the floor.
“*Theme song comes on* *falls downstairs* *jumps onto sofa* WHICH ONE IS IT?!”- Mason, every time...
“If she’s kissing a dead thing does that make her a necrophiliac?”- Dad 
“HE’S DEAD!!”- Mum/Dad 
“[Angel’s curse] makes no sense, why can’t he be happy eating cheese puffs?  What if he has a really nice burger?”- Nathan 
“SHE’S NOT REAL!”- Dad whenever Dawn appears on screen
“*Points at Angel* NONCE!”- Nathan 
“Why is Giles actually useless? He’s literally incompetent at is job.”- Nathan
“Why isn’t Joyce wondering why Giles has just randomly showed up? If that happened with one of your teachers, I’d think you were having an affair... and then I’d kill them.”- Mum
“Before or after she turned gay?”- Nathan
“MOST FABULOUS GLORIFICUS!”- Dad
“Why does it take her so long to stake the fucking vampire, she could’ve just yeeted her stake in it’s back and be done.”- Nathan
“GILES!”- Mason
“What the fuck was that?”- Dad when I start screeching or getting too emotionally wound up over stuff
“That was not the heart.”- Mum
“Wait, Angel’s bad?”- Hannah
“Why are you crying? Pathetic.”- Nathan
“This is why you don’t sleep with men.”- Me to Hannah 
“Well if he’s dead his hair won’t grow and he won’t need to do his roots.”- Mum
21 notes · View notes
ifeveristoday · 3 years
Text
Let me explain… no, there is too much. Let me sum up.
Strap in kids, it’s Boom! Buffy issue #20 and the last issue we get this year. So long and fuck off, 2020.
Spoilers underneath the cut
Well. That was bracing.
In this issue we get the spotlight on the adult characters and their struggles - the status of Giles and Jenny’s relationship (on a break), Wesley Wyndam Price trying to convince Faith of her sacred duty and oh, that vampires are real, and a direct callback to Wesley’s standalone issue and the shadowy Watcher’s Council, and Anya, who finally reveals her true purpose of being in Sunnydale. Or does she?
Subplots involve Willow’s conversation and off-page deal with Evil! Xander, the status of Robin and Buffy’s relationship (ghosty ghost avoidance on Buffy’s part), and the unspoken elephant of broken trust in the room (everyone else).
There really is a lot going on - so I’m going to break it down by character, because that has always been a strong point in Jordie’s reimagining of the Buffyverse. Jordie writes about the characters and their motivations and their inner lives and not so much about the Plot (though she’s improved on that front). 
Jenny
Clearly has seen and suffered a lot of Shit, but it isn’t delved into for trauma porn - and she’s had enough. She loves Giles, but she doesn’t want to be a part of whatever is unfolding, but she still has compassion for Evil! Xander and can see that his actions are not too far off from his human self’s desires, only twisted. Evil! Xander wants love and attention and now he has the power to force it  - but somehow is talked out of it by Willow. Jenny makes the choice to protect herself, even if it means walking away from Giles and their relationship. 
Giles 
When not in a Jenny-daze, Giles picks up an important clue from their last conversation and calls in the troops to discuss the matter of trust and truth. It’s a nice nod to the previous issue’s reunion with Willow and the rest of the Scoobies - Willow not being comfortable about the trust fall, even though she suggested it, and here, being evasive and lying to everyone about where she got her shiny new trinket. I also notice none of her adventures in gay witch cult utopia have been folded into the Jordie timeline yet, but I assume that will be a reveal for later. Giles trying to mediate the conversation-turned-argument is interesting because for a lot of the series, he’s been on the side of caution and covering up because of the Council’s indoctrination process. 
Anya
This was the surprise of the issue for me and one of the high points - all those previous crumbs of Anya referring to herself as a demon witch, and then Giles saying she was a watcher too, and then mention of a past Watcher being friends/school mate of a demon, and somehow just appearing at the right possible time to solve problems/save the Scoobies while hiding in plain sight. Anya being the connection to the Watcher’s Council and her dealings with vampires, Wolfram and Hart, she’s the perfect agent of controlled chaos. The reveal of her being the demon figure helping out the previous Slayer Morgan (who I now think is the original character they were hyping up issues ago and all that talk about multiverses and such - she and Anya are most likely behind what happened in Hellmouth). A revenge demon working with a Slayer is just *chef’s kiss* because who wouldn’t want revenge if they’re a young teenage girl suddenly tasked to save the world and not have her own life? 
Anya’s conversation with Willow about demons being morally grey and that souls don’t need to come into it (along with the Princess Bride reference -  “Anyone who tells you is a fool or selling you something”) is one of the themes running throughout the issue. Jenny hints at it with her compassion for Xander’s soulless self and his still very human desires and wants, and Anya’s team up with Morgan at the end. They don’t think what they’ve done (the Watcher killings) is bad because they’re giving the Slayers their normal lives back - Anya can open up portals to store her magic knickknacks, why wouldn’t she be able to open up new timelines to ‘save’ Slayers? It would fit into her revenge scheme against the Watcher’s Council too. It casts a different light on her previous actions - giving Buffy the stone to call Xander’s soul back for an unspoken fee later, but not money, showing up at the eleventh hour to lead the girls into battle during Hellmouth with her convenient stash of weapons, tricking Dru into setting Camazotz free to gain Buffy’s and Giles’s trust later...and she knows Giles’s full name, so you know stuff is going to go down.
Willow
Tangled web, Wills. And all the little lies - why didn’t she tell her best friend and everyone else that she got the new shiny gem from Anya? Who is she really protecting? Herself or/and Xander? Willow’s (un)trustworthiness and growing capabilities in magic are going to be Issues with the gang later, definitely. And a possible source of isolation, because everyone at that meeting is paired off and she’s alone - Buffy and Giles presenting the slayer/watcher bond, Kendra and Rose as girlfriends and protective of one another. 
This is also an example of Anya being a subtle architect of chaos - she scolds Willow about good and evil being too simple of a concept and that Willow should be smarter than that, and suggests the possibility of doing the wrong thing (in Willow’s case, lying) for the right reason (saving Xander). This could also be a clue to the other Willows we’ve seen in previous issues - it could actually be original time line Willow just visiting multiverses to check on Xander and Buffy.
Wesley
is finally in Sunnydale and completely out of his element, not only as an Englishman in small town America, but as a watcher with an unruly lone wolf of a Slayer, who doesn’t even believe in the cause or that vampires are real. It’s hilarious. They provide the lighter side in the issue, and I look forward to what Jordie has planned for them, because right now they’re channeling Odd Couple energy and I’m here for it.
Also, Wesley brings up the English vs Irish rivalry and FINALLY, someone says it. There weren’t enough Spike and Angel fights about their places of origin.
If Wesley’s ideals are just the baby version of Giles’s loyalty to the Council, Faith is the pragmatic version of Buffy’s stressed but down for the cause Slayer.
Faith
Faith doesn’t really question why she suddenly can cause a bunch of messed up looking people dusty death, because vampires can’t possibly be real, but aliens, sure. It’s a refreshing and meta take on the whole lore - Faith even cheekily bringing up that vampires are clearly a metaphor for sex and she doesn’t have time for that.
Look at that, a skeptical but roll with the punches Bad Guys-because what else is she going to do- Faith. Not oversexualized but blunt and funny and upfront about what she really wants - which is a burger. A good update to the character. I do wonder if Jenny’s earlier line about ‘good Faith’ was purposeful because of this introduction to Faith, or just a regular line.
Buffy
After all she’s been through in the previous issues, Buffy takes more of a backseat in this issue, but that’s okay - there really was SO Much that Buffy and Robin’s continuing communication problem really wouldn’t fit as an A plotpoint.
Girl still has huge trust issues, and with Willow’s defensiveness and her own reluctance to really talk to Robin, that’s going to be a problem for later on.
Robin
Still juggling the responsibilities of being a regular guy, Buffy’s almost boyfriend, trainee Watcher, and son of presumed dead Slayer Nikki (though with what we’ve seen so far, Nikki might be alive in another multiverse), Robin is mostly the diplomat in this issue, giving everyone respectful space. 
Rose and Kendra
Are cute and happy together and that’s all that needs to be said really. The only couple that’s figured out communication and presenting a united front in this issue, honestly. #goals
Morgan Palmer
Another WOC slayer! Can’t wait to see what she did/has plans for the Scoobies and Sunnydale.
11 notes · View notes
tellywoodtrash · 4 years
Text
shaadi mubarak 11, 12, 14.09.20 lbs
11.09.20
bhagwan give me as much dheentness as kt.
lmaoooooo kusum eavesdropping on this juhi/preeti convo and facepalming over and over.  
poor kusum has to do the dirty work of getting rid of kt.
ugh tarun/rati.
lmao fuck off rati, she still not coming back to be naukrani to you.
preeeti classsy as fuckkkkkkkkk.
shouldn't have told them the plan. they don't deserve to know shit.
I NEED TARUN TO BE MURDERED IMMEDIATELY. LIKE 3 SECONDS AGO. HE'S LITERALLY THE RUDEST FUCKER I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED ON ITV. LIKE, IT TAKES SOME SPECIAL SKILL TO ECLIPSE THE 4 LIONS MEN AND THIS DUDE GOT THEM ALL DOWN PAT, LOOKING LIKE THEY GOT THE MANNERS OF A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN. FUCK. LITERALLY DIE RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING HELLSPAWN GARBAGE FIRE PERSON.
every time rati says “pranaam”, my eye twitches from rage.
lol kusum's mad that she had to turn kt away.
bless sumedh, he's the nicest boy in this whole show, i love him so much.
what dukaaan do sumedh/juhi haaaaaaave?!?
KUSUMMMMMM, YOU JUST PROMISED THAT YOU WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT THISSSSSS TO PREETIIIIIII.
kt also has zero hope.
he's sooooo earnestttttttt, while talking about preeti and her talent. i adore that about him.
lmao preeti doesn't get kusum's sass.
KUSUM IS HEADDDDDDDDDD CHEERLEADERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
omg she's soooooooooooo me, this is exactly howwwww i motivate my friends!!!
lmaoooooooooo ghoom-phir ke everything comes back to having sex and babies with someone who was essentially a stranger.
poor preeti. i really do get her side as well.
lo aa gaya rejection waala phone call.
i love kt's mom's saris. they're so simple and classy.
oh kt, you teddy bear of a man. i wish you happy thingsssssssss.
WHY DO THEY RANDOMLY GHUSAOFY THESE ROMANTIC TYPE OF  SCENES???!?! IT'S TOO FUCKING EARLY FOR THIS. YES THEY CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT EACH OTHER BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ROMANTICALLY CODED AT THIS POINT.
kt's momma bear is very wholesome, but this family coddles him waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.
kusum's being pissy and taking out gussa on khaana.
poor kajal, juhi, and preeti. kisi ko koi idea nahi how to sambhaalofy kusum's ubalta hua gussa. my god, i fear this is beyond the superpowers of sumedh too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12.09.20
preeti seems to have watched suno chanda and is using the flower petals on the pankha method to apologize/cheer up.
but lemme tell you, no average desi mom is ever gonna appreciate this method. COZ WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAVE TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS HAAAAN?!?!!? EK TOH GUSSE MEIN HOON, UPAR SE MERA KAAM BHI BADHAA DIYA.
omg preeti's playing songs to manaofy herrrrrrrrrr. this is truly the most wonderful love story of this showwwwwwww.
LMAO KUSUM'S FACE.
oh no. kusum is Big Mad.
oh boy, aastha gonna take the brunt of this.
LMAO “ghar waapis chodne ki zaroorat na hai, raaste mein koi peepal ka ped mile toh wahaan thaare ko taang de; wahin pe sookhti rehna!”
kajal is alarmed by this threatttttt.
blah blah blah kt and mom love fest.
oh ho, there's some financial masla between chacha/chachi and kt's parents.
kajal is hellllllllaaaaa cute, i love her the most.
piyu is here to throw thanda paani on everyone's attempts.
why does piyu have SUCHHHHHH gile-shikwe with kusum? why doesn't she get that she's all bluster, but a goddang softieeeee on the inside?!?!!?
preeti be like child, you don't know tf you're talking about.
ok i don't really agree with this way of parenting, but like.... whatever, i get it.
PREETI KNOWS HER BESTIE SOOOOOOOO WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
KUSUM HAS PLAYED REVERSE CARD!!!!!!!! WE LOVE THIS FRIENDSHIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOST WHOLESOME EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lmao preeti realllllyyyy making her work for it, i fucking love ittttt.
“kab se apne saheli se baat karne ke liye mere pet mein dard ho raha tha, pata hai??!” “saachi?!?!!?!”
OMFG THE CUTEST.
the way preeti's face truly lights up when she's talking about something she's passionate about, it warms my cold, dead heart.
this sudden cough of kusum's is very fake and suspicious.
saamaan pohunch gaya? oh boy.
I KNOW THAT VOICE THAT'S HUMMING.
THAT'S RANGEELO THAARO BEEND, PREETI.
this incorrigible mannnnnn!!!!!!!!! 
THIS THOPDA LINE MAKES ME WANNA BREAK SOMETHING.
oh no. jhoomar has fallen. please don't let this be an awkward romantic moment.
LMAO KUSUM'S SHEER GLEE AND JUHI'S HORRIFIED FACE.
kusummmmm is sweetesttttt. she convinced juhi too!
hein abhi piyuuuu ko juhiiiiiii se kyaaaaa masla hai!?
this shoddy work doesn't bode well for you, KT.
LOL THAT DUMB MOLE, AND HER FACE AT HIS EXPLANATION. I LOVE HER FACE SOOOOOOOOO MUCH.
KT's like his own walking talking wikipedia page.
lmao, kaam kaisa laga, he asks; standing amid the ruins of this kaam.
“ji buraayi kaisi? itna badhiya baandha tha ki seedha sar pe aa gira. aur kahin nahi gira!” LMAOOOOOOOOOO PREEEEEETI I LOVE YOUR SNARK
thaaari best fraaaand ne bataaya ki tu yahaan milegi, aur kaise?!?
THIS MAN IS A CHILDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
14.09.20
kt-saa is flashing best puppy eyes while talking about equal division of labour. dunno about preeti, but i'm convinced.
ugh agarwal is gonna be a dodgy client, isn't he?
PREETI YOU TOO SOFTTTTTTT, YOU NEEEEEEED KT TO HANDLE THE CONFRONTATIONAL PARTS.
ok those taars look fucking unsafe as fuckkkkkk.
HE'S LITERALLY A CHILD LOOKING AT  A CHRISTMAS TREE.
kuch bhi kaho, he's a quite a good judge of people. very much like a puppy that way.
lmaooooooooooo preeti walking away while grumbling about how kusum repeated literally everything to him like a totuuuuu.
please tell me the juhi/piyu backstory (and possibly tarun’s involvement) is gonna come out alreadyyyyyyyyyy.
kusum ain't no fool. just tell her already.
OUFF MANHOOS PHONE KO ABHI BAJNA THA.
i feel like i've seen this red kurta that piyu is wearing on shrenu in the ib redux??? something very similar anyway.
anyway, something reallllll shady between juhi/piyu. it's that fucking tarun. i'm sure of it.
KT YOU ARE LIKE A DOG WITH A BONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
abbe this agarwalllllll.
OH HO PREETI, LISTEN TO KT!!!!!
ooooooh samoseeeeee. i want.
legit my reaction to foood too. excitement and heart eyes and happy wriggles.
ok just coz she knows your preferred condiment to matar ke samose doesn't mean that she knows you enough to go into lakhon-croreon ka business with you.
DUDE I WOULD KILL FOR A SAMOSA RN.
agarwal a fucking fraud. also a rudeasss bitch.
AGARWAL KA, RATI/TARUN KA, CHANDA KA, SAB KA BADLA LEGA RE TERA KTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
KT-SAA GONNA GARAJ BARAS SAAWAN GHIR AAYO ON THIS FUCKER.
oh preeti, come hereeee. *massive huggg*
kusum holding courttttttttt and all the kids happily giggling at her stories. my heart is warm.
preeti trying to break the baddddd news.
this kt/kusum alliance is bloody amazing. though i can't wait till it's a lil more equal and kusum starts calling kt on his shit occasionally. that's when it'll shift gears into peak comedy.
LMAO WTF HAS KUSUM DONE TO THE ROOOOOOOOOM
damn i really love all the furniture in this room. i'd loveeeeeeee to have these handicraft pieces.
lol kusum last minute mein looking for the cockroach in the back of preeti's blouseeeeeeeeee
preeti ko chodo, kusum itself is gonna fall asleep on her feet.
ugh fuckkkkkk agarwal.
AWWWW YISSSSSSSSSSSSS KT IS HERE TO READ HIM TO FILTH.
kusum and fam showing support with aankhein and smug smiles.
DAMN KT, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE THIS CUTTHROAT. GOTTA SAY, IT'S KINDA HOT.
ugh preeti, you're tooooo fucking nice. kya zaroorat hai ab bhi iska kaam karne kiiiii??? 
PLEASE WELCOME THE NEWEST MEMBER IN THE RANKS OF WARRIORS WHO'LL FIGHT FOR PREETI'S AATMASAMMAAAAAN: KT-SAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
———————————————————————    
thank the heavens; preeti has finalllllllyyyyy made the decision.
18 notes · View notes
one-leaf-grimoire · 3 years
Text
“illusion”
Chapter 15
Hi! This chapter has some sad parts but MC finally stands up to a big threat. LMK what you think!
Warnings: none, this chapter is SFW
A03 LINK // SFW LINK
The true nature of my Illusion Magic is in the way that it effects the human brain. My magic can trigger responses within the mind of another, forcing their brain to release the hormones and electric signals necessary to conjure up what I want them to perceive. Images, sounds, feelings... but one spell does this better than any other; the spell I have only cast once before.
Fear Landscape.
This spell targets a single region of the brain, the amygdala. Stress hormones are released in a massive stampede, causing pupil dilation, heart rate increase, and restriction of breathing. All of these things compound upon each other until the body shuts down. 
The first time I used it was an accident. We were on a mission in the woods, and were almost done, when a massive wolf appeared out of nowhere. The spell manifested in that moment, probably triggered by my own fear. I don't remember it very well, since I blacked out in a similar fashion to today, into a warm, golden sleep. But according to Alice, the wolf collapsed into a whimpering pile, giving us enough time to escape.
I never really thought about what happened to that wolf. I wonder if it died, just like the dozen or so men that were unlucky enough to be around me today.
But now, lying silently in a hospital bed while the nurses checked up on me for the fifteenth time tonight, I have plenty of time to reflect.
I killed that man... the general. I killed all his men. 
The nurses and doctor keep talking among themselves. From what I've gathered so far, the slime mold penetrated my body much farther than they thought at first, and kept proliferating even after the caster was dead. It'll take a while for me to heal completely.
It's been around three days since the attack- at least, I think it has been that long. My mind has been foggy and disoriented, so I can't be quite sure. My only reference for time is the light coming in through the curtains, and the three times per day that a meal is brought to me. I'm barely able to eat, but it could be worse.
After all... someone was hurt much worse than me that day.
The door creaks open once all the nurses are gone, and none other than Captain Hervey and his two vice captains come in. My gaze flickers up to Julius's face first, catching a glimpse of his worried expression. I quickly look to Hervey next. "Captain..."
I start to sit up, but Hervey raises his hand to pause the movement. "Stay still, you're injured enough as it is." He lets out a heavy sigh, his eyes narrowing for a moment. "How are you feeling?"
"As good as I can." I motion vaguely at my right arm, where green mold veins still linger under my skin. "The doctor said maybe two more days before my system gets flushed of this stuff."
"I see." Hervey nods a little. "It'll be good to have you back on your feet..."
I gulp nervously, scared to ask the next question.
"Captain... is Alice-"
"She's still in her coma."
I fall silent. 
"The doctor doesn't think she's going to wake up."
... she's... not going to wake up? 
"Like... not today? Or-"
"Not ever." The words come out sharply, freezing my heart.
I was told as soon as I was conscious enough to listen. The other Shining General was a powerful ice mage. He managed to trap Julius in Ice before making a break for it. Hervey took off in pursuit, but it was too late; The general ran into Alice's group, and in the fight... 
"People don't recover from a frostbitten brain." Hervey muttered, a little callously. I'm too weak to even summon tears, but I feel every part of my soul being shredded apart. 
Alice... you have to wake up... you have to.
"But I told you; My ice magic countered his. I killed that Bastard... both of us felled Generals in this battle. That's why I'm here today."
I look back up at Hervey as he walks to the side of my bed, producing what looks like a small plaque. "Captain, what's this for?"
"It's a special commendation from the Wizard King himself," Hervey explained, giving me a strained smile. "You've been promoted to Senior Magic Knight."
"Congratulations," Malota says, giving me a rare smile of her own from the other side of my bed. "You're basically at the top now."
"You've impressed all of us. Well done."
I look at the foot of my bed, where Julius still stands, and he gives me the same smile as the others. He's happy for me, I can tell, but that tenseness is easily explained; today feels like no time to celebrate, while Alice lies unresponsive in another room.
Impressed... congratulations...
The words feel bitter in my mind.
"I... I'm getting this now... because I murdered someone, right?"
My voice is numb, cold and emotionless. My head falls back onto my pillow, and I stare blankly up at the ceiling. 
Hervey exchanges a glance with the other two before clearing his throat. "NO! Well, yeah... but don't think of it that way. You defeated an enemy of our Kingdom, and now he will never harm anyone again."
That general... his magic hurt. I remember how Giles writhed in pain, and how my mind snapped as he pushed me past my limit. But, I saw something in his eyes. He had a family... there were things in this world that he loved. But me... I can't love anything. Love was ruined for me, so I ruined it for all of them, too...
"I didn't even mean to do it." Slowly, my eyes flicker close. Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, they'll leave me alone. "I was trying to escape..."
"Our bodies do unexpected things when we think we're about to die."
Julius's voice pulls me out, and my eyes open again. I can't bring myself to move and look at him, but I'm listening... I'm listening.
Julius...
"You did what anyone else would have done... but you deserved this promotion before that, trust me." 
Even from where I lay, I can hear the smile on his lips. This time, there is no tension.
How many people have you killed, Julius? You've been to battle far more than I have... and I've heard the stories of your terrifying power. That power scares me, too, but at the same time... I know it protects me.
If I had any less restraint, I would have reached out to him, begged him to take my hand, pleaded for him to stay. I don't care who sees, I don't care who disapproves, I just want him here with me, forever.
But there's just enough restraint within me to keep me still. After that awkward moment, Hervey leads the others out, leaving the plaque on my bedside table.
------------
It's not until later that night that the full gravity of the situation dawns on me. Alice, my closest and oldest friend, was going to die, and I could do nothing about it.
"You're in my group, right? So I'll protect you! No matter what. And you're going to protect me too!"
Alice said those words to Cecelia. She promised that she would live.
Alice... I'm sorry I ever doubted you. You're my friend, nothing less, and I know in my heart that you could never hurt me. As sure as the sun rises, as sure as it sets... you would have never betrayed me.
But why...
I roll over in the dark, my delirious mind breaking down as tears and wet sobs rip from my throat.
Why did I have to realize that after it's too late?!
I clutch a pillow tightly as I cry, holding onto it for dear life. And maybe it's just my imagination... but I feel it hug me back, warm and soft.
-----
When I wake up the next morning, there was no large pillow that I could have been curled up into. The side of the bed next to me is warm; at least, I think it is. But I can't see anyone there, and my fever makes the entire world burn.
Maybe that was just my imagination.
-----
"There you are! Oh, god-"
Two days later, I'm sitting up in bed, feeling good enough to eat. I look up from my soup to see the door open, and two very familiar older people come rushing towards me. I drop my spoon in surprise.
"Mom? Dad?"
Indeed, it's my parents, and a moment later they both tackle me in a hug that's definitely more rough than they should be giving me right now. I let out a hollow gasp as the air is knocked out of my lungs, but I quickly get over it and smile. "Hi... It's good to see you two."
I hug back, burying my face into their shoulders, and am suddenly overwhelmed with... nostalgia. Both of them pull back and start fawning over me, telling me how proud they are of me, and how worried they were before they could visit. It's bittersweet, and it takes everything I have in me to keep from bursting into tears. 
All the pain and trouble I've gone through, I did it for them. For the hope that I could free them from the path they think they're trapped on. Marrying a Kira will give us status for life, but now that I'm a Senior Magic Knight, we don't need that status. By myself, I can support them, and then...
"Oh!" My mom's eyes suddenly lit up. "Look who insisted we bring him with us!"
"Huh? Who-"
I look around her shoulder, and my blood runs cold.
"Hey."
Lawrence Kira stands there in the doorway, not even the faint ghost of a smile upon his face.
My heart starts to pound.
He's here... oh god...
"Congrats on your promotion." He walks inside, and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "Looks like you got pretty hurt, though..." He comes to a stop at the foot of my bed, and I resist the urge to scoot back further. My grip on my mother's hand tightens slightly. "How long are you going to keep this up?"
Uh oh. I open my mouth, not sure what to say. He better not use this time to confront me... he's evil. I look over at my parents, who also start to look worried. In front of them, too! He knows that if he pressures me here, my parents will join them. They're looking forward to the wedding, and they don't want me to get hurt again... I start to panic. SHIT!
Finally, I manage to cobble together a response. Play dumb! "Um... well, they should let me out of bed tomorrow-"
"I'm not talking about that-" Lawrence snaps. "I'm talking about you playing Magic Knight for years and years. Face it, you're not cut out for this." He motions at my fading injuries. "You almost died, I don't want you to face something like that again before our wedding."
"He has a point, Darling," Dad pipes up innocently. "If you died... I don't know how I would go on living."
"I know, but I'm not going to die." I tighten my hold on my mother's hand again. She doesn't say anything, but I see something flicker in her eyes. I look back over at Lawrence, his stone cold grey eyes staring right into my soul. "Lawrence, I killed a General. A Diamond General. And I just got promoted. Do you think I'm weak or something?"
"Not weak..." He crosses his arms, and I see his cool exterior waver for a moment. "But you're not strong enough to avoid this type of injury... you Captain knows it too." His confidence returns, and he points at my plaque. "Have you ever heard of a pity promotion? It's not unusual for a weak magic knight to receive a big promotion right after they sustain a bad injury. It's supposed to convince you to leave, because you've done enough. And that's true for you." 
I feel my heart sink. No, I've never heard of pity promotions before, but that adds up.
Am I... am I really that weak?
"I... I- er-"
"FILLER WORDS-" Lawrence snaps, shutting me up immediately. He calms himself after the momentary outburst. "Stop using filler words, remember?"
I nod, my hands shaking.
"Listen... you're not being disgraceful." Lawrence offers me a shallow smile, stepping forward. I feel my heart jolt again, like a deer cornered by a hunter. "But it's time to leave this path and become what you're meant to be..."
I... I can't... I have to... I-
"My wife-"
"No."
The word slips out, and Lawrence freezes. His eyes widen a little, somehow getting colder.
"What did you just say?"
Shit, shit, shit! My heart pounds, but it's too late to go back.
"I- I said no." I take a shuddering breath, ignoring my parents' shocked faces. "I don't want to marry you, Lawrence, and I'm not going to."
The words don't quite register for Lawrence, ricocheting around between his ears. But once they do, it's obvious. His cheeks start to redden, and his wide eyes crumple with rage.
"You... you can't just say no now! We've been engaged since I was ten!"
"Honey, what on earth are you thinking?" Both of my parents look scared. Their whole lives, they placed their entire future on this marriage, not considering any other way to protect us. But now, I've found another way.
Yes... through my own strength, I forged a path! With the help of Alice, I created a fate far different from what Lawrence tried to create for me. I won't let Alice's work go to waste! I found a life I can live with pride... and I found someone that I want to love with all my heart!
"I am a Magic Knight, Lawrence." I sit up, shaking off my parents' hands, and point accusingly at the man who's caused me so much pain over my entire life. "You are the lowest of the low. You forced me to do things I wasn't ready to do. You hurt me, and manipulated me- and I'm not going to just lay down and take it any more!"
My voice raises steadily in volume, and so does my courage. Somehow, a smile starts to grow on my lips, and I clench my fist as I say the words I've always wanted to say.
"For my family, and for my own pride, I reject you, Lawrence Kira-"
Just as I utter his name, I see something in his gaze snap.
Oh- God-
Instantly, mana caves in around him then shoots out at me. I don't have time to finish my sentence. Poisonous, thistly grey vines hit my throat, wrapping around it and blasting me backwards. My parents both scream, and I hit the wall above the bedframe with a resounding CRACK. My mouth opens with a silent scream, the thistles pricking my skin and drawing blood. My back hurts, my legs kick helplessly, and my fingers claw uselessly at the tight chords that choke the life out of me. But at the same time...
That's it Lawrence. Show the world what a monster you really are.
"YOU WENCH!" he basically gargles, still overcome with indignancy and rage. A vein starts to pop out of his temple. "Do you think I'm going to just let you leave? After all the work I put into you?! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN UNGRATEFUL SOW WITHOUT ME!"
The thistles tighten, and I start to taste blood too.
More... more... show me more of your hate!
Lawrence looks unhinged as he clenches his fist, controlling his magic. "So... I'm going to teach you a lesson... and then you're coming right back to the castle WITH ME-"
He's cut off suddenly. I crack open an eye to see both of my parents on their feet, hands and Grimoires up. Both are already forming magic in their hands, Eye magic and Memory Magic, and both are targeted at the prince. Lawrence's eyes widen. "What- What do you think you're doing-"
"Let go of her." My dad's voice is deadly soft. Both of them aren't freaking out, but I can hear the urge to tear into Lawrence in his words. "Now."
"I don't care if you're a prince. You don't touch her ever again." My mother's voice holds the same quiet threat.
Lawrence opens and closes his mouth a few times, and I feel his thistles weaken slightly. All I can do is hold my breath and stay still as the edges of my vision start to blur. 
yes... both of them stood up for me... Mom, dad, I promise this wasn't a mistake!
"If you defy me... your status will mean nothing. Society will ostracize you," Lawrence threatens. "Are you really going to throw everything I gave you away?"
"Status means nothing, now that we know what you really are like," my dad's voice starts to waver. "Let her go before I show you what I'm really like."
After one more tense moment, the thistles disappear. I let out a deep gasp before collapsing back down onto my bed, a trembling mess. My parents immediately retract their magic and rush to my side. "I-I'm fine-" I wheeze, sitting up with their help.
Lawrence still looks mad, but that calculated coolness in his eyes returns.
"You... you'll regret this."
Without another word, Lawrence turns dramatically and storms off, slamming the door behind him.
The nurses are called back in, fixing up the wounds on my neck. They aren't deep, but Lawrence's Thistle Magic leaves millions of microscopic wounds. It hurts like a bitch, too.
But the whole time, up until my parents leave, only one thought circles through my mind.
I did it...
I'm free.
3 notes · View notes
murderousbitch · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
trigger warning: light mentions of abuse & death.
         It was no secret that the life she had left behind had not been a life one would willingly return to. In fact she hadn’t returned to Boston for several reasons--fear of what she would return to, the pain and suffering, the memories that were more like nightmares--but after so long, she had to finally return. She tried to fight it, to make Giles send someone else, anyone else, to retrieve the one of many slayers scattered across the world. But she was closer and she knew the area better than anyone. There was no other option.
Returning to a place that held so many negative feelings and thoughts, it made the already cold air cooler, causing her lungs to seize with every breath she took. God she hated the cold, memories of when her mother forgot to pay the electric bill, the countless nights spent shivering under piles of blankets. But she had to shake those thoughts and focus on the task at hand so she could get the hell out of dodge before anything happened. There was far too many possibilities of what could happen, who she could run into, and of what she could end up doing. Needless to say, she was going to follow the leads she had of the girl, Rebecca Hicks, and hope that she found the other in no time.
The hotel she was set up in was one that she had passed so many times, wondering how it felt to be sleeping on a bed that wasn’t dirty, to have a mattress that didn’t come from someone’s alley. Her mom was cheap, never had any money to spend on the essentials so there were many items that should have never been used again, especially by a little kid. But that was one of many things her mother did or failed to do, things that lingered in the back of her mind as a silent reminder to do better for herself. Needless to say her first night back was restless and sleepless, leaving the slayer laying in bed staring at the ceiling, begging to wake up from whatever nightmare this was. But it wasn’t one and she knew that, of course she knew that, but the thought of knowing she had willingly came back...it weighed on her soul.
“Damn it, Faith! I done told you not to fuckin’ touch my things,” the woman belted out as she towered over the seven year old, finger wagging in her face before the cold harsh slap came.
Her ears ringed from the impact of the slap, her cheek stinging as a hand print formed. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked up at her mother, still holding the small eye shadow case. “I’m sorry, momma...I just...I’m sorry,” she muttered, handing it back only to have it forcibly taken from her hands.
She must have fallen asleep, the memory dream waking her up violently. Heart pounding in her chest, tears rolling down her cheeks, her breath coming fast as she sat up in bed. “It wasn’t real...” she told herself, shaking her head as she wiped at her eyes, trying to slow her breathing. But it had been real, had happened a long time ago, even if it did feel like it had just happened. After that, Faith couldn’t sleep so she got up and took a shower before getting dressed and grabbing the case file she had on Rebecca. She would start off with the basics, start looking in the girls usual hang out spots, her home, places like that. Then she would reach out and tap into other sources.
Rebecca’s home had been a bust as was her school. However she wasn’t giving up hope on finding the girl, knowing she was somewhere in Boston. Thing about being a slayer, they shared a connection and could sense when others were around so it was just a matter of time before she found her. Though, admittedly, as she walked around the town she once called home, she had a feeling of dread, fearing that every corner she turned, she would see her mother. Logically she knew it would be a possibility of running into her mother, but she was praying that it didn’t happen. But with the longer she wandered around, checking out each lead she had, the more the area felt familiar until there she was.
The house had never been in the best of shape but it looked worse than it had the last time she saw it. Staring up at the window that had been her bedroom a lifetime ago, the slayer swallowed thickly as she stood in the yard. No one was living there, hadn’t for quite sometime, the NO TRESPASSING sign on the door coupled with the tell tale sign of emptiness was all she needed to know. A neighbor took notice of her standing there after what seemed like hours, the brunettes eyes finally tearing from the wreckage of her childhood to look to them.
“If you’re lookin’ for the owner, you’re ‘bout six or so years too late,” the man muttered as he crossed the joint yards, pausing when he got a good look of the woman. “Ah hell...you’re Donna’s kid ain’t ya?” he asked, head tilting as he looked through the bottom of his glasses.
There really was no denying it, Faith knew that and so she gave a nod. “Yeah, that’s me. Donna’s kid,” she mumbled, eyes falling to the ground as knots began to form in her stomach. Something was wrong, had been wrong, the way he said she was six years too late... “She’s dead ain’t she?” she asked, eyes briefly glancing to the man.
He nodded, rough and calloused hands rubbing together to keep whatever heat was there. “Heart attack six years ago...May of 2006...yeah that’s right. ‘M sorry you gotta find out this way, no one knew where you were or else I’m sure somebody woulda called...” and with that, he gently placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder before he began to walk back to his home.
Deep down she had always known her mother was gone, had succumbed to her addictions. But hearing it, knowing for certain? It left her feeling a mixture of emotions. So with that information, she gave the house one last look before she walked back to the rental car and drove off. It’d be the last time she’d see the house on 1490 SE Hyland St.
Almost as if her mind was in autopilot, Faith found herself sitting outside of the cemetery where her grandmother Etta was buried. She knew that’s where her mother would be, where most folks in this part of town were buried. Getting out of the car, she made the trek into the cemetery and found her way to her grandmothers grave. It had taken her a bit, getting turned around as she hadn’t been there since she was a child, but when she found the weathered plot and the newer one next to it, she knew she’d found them.
                                        Donna Renee Lehane                                        Mother. Daughter. Wife                                   13, April 1966 - 25, May 2006                                  May the angels guide you home.
Again, a mixture of emotions clawed as they worked through her system as she read the plot. Silent tears running down cheeks, not sure if they were out of sadness, anger, relief, or all of the above. But that’s all she could do or show, was stand there and cry as memories flooded her mind, none of which painted her mother in the best of light. And in truth, Faith didn’t have many good memories of her mother, all the bad ones out weighing the good and burying them. So after a half hour of standing in the cold, the sky growing dark, she tore herself from the graves and began to walk towards the entrance.
In the midst of wiping at her face, the slayer tripped over a root and caught herself before her face met marble. Cursing to no one but herself and the dead that slept, she pushed herself up only to be met with a name that she had done her best to never think of or speak.
                                        Ronald “Ronnie” Gallo                                          Son. Brother. Friend.                                    23, Dec. 1975 - 08, Sep. 2001                                     Heaven earned a new angel.
The guttural sound she made when she read the epitaph on Ronnie’s gravestone sounded inhuman to her own ears. However it was the only reaction she ever had when she thought of the other, Ronnie having been one of the people who traumatized her just as much as her own mother had. There were no good memories of the man nor feelings as tear filled eyes stared at the marker. She had spent so much time wishing she had killed him, the only person she truly wished she had killed, or wishing he was dead in general. And now knowing that her wish had came true, there was an emptiness in her that was quickly filled with rage.
Disrespecting the dead was frowned upon by many, but Ronnie Gallo deserved no such thing. Scrambling to her feet, the slayer looked around in a fit of rage until her eyes settled on a broken piece of stone before she moved back to the marker. She had nearly beaten him to death the day she was called as the next slayer, but that wasn’t enough, no, no he deserved more. So with the strength she used to take back her freedom, she smashed and busted the grave marker, a scream twisted into a growl leaving her as she demolished and made sure no one knew who laid there six feet under the ground.
It’s unsure how much time passed between destroying the grave, getting in the car, and mindlessly driving to the furthest bar. But when she poured herself onto a stool at the bar, Faith truly wished she had pawned the job off onto one of the others. Because her biggest fear had came to light even if two monsters from her past were now dead, it didn’t matter. She’d faced them and now had to quell the memories out of fear of if she didn’t, she would spiral out. So as she sat there, she drank every beer that was placed in front of her before she switched to something harder, not even noticing that the bartender wasn’t exactly human. Even if she had, she wouldn’t have cared because nothing mattered in that moment. Not him, not Rebecca, not herself, nor the monsters that had chased her for years.
However in a moment of clarity, dark eyes finally rested on the face of the man who hadn’t questioned her and provided the drinks. He had a charming face, rugged, looked like he had seen some shit in his life as well. She would later find out what his name was, Deeks, and he would soon aid in helping her reground herself and get back on track with her whole reason of being there. But for that first night, Deeks just kept her company and kept an eye on her while she indulged herself and prayed her mind to be quiet.
However, Faith should have known that her mind would never be quiet. Not for long.
3 notes · View notes
jvstheworld · 8 months
Text
The Buffy Re-watch: S2E17 (part 2)
Passion
Because of Angelus' fucking around, Buffy has to deal with her mother finding out she had sex. Giles wants to help, but Willow helps him realise that it is probably not a good idea. She is even kind enough to get the door for him.
Joyce going through 'the talk' with Buffy. I understand that it can be awkward for parents to do this, but having open and honest conversations about sex can be good. It's natural for teenagers to be curious about it and discover what is right for them, as long as it is consensual and legal.
After what happened with Angel, Joyce is understandably worried, she didn't know about him and Buffy's relationship, and had only met him once before. Buffy keeps a lot from her for her safety, but it's not enough. Realistically, Joyce needs to know that Buffy is the Slayer. The good thing about this scene is that Buffy doesn't fight her mum, she knows that she made a mistake and has been paying for it.
Giles being greeted at his house with music, roses and champagne.
Dear god, this sequence breaks my heart. Giles is happy that he and Jenny are trying to reconcile and the whole set up is grand and romantic. It's suppose to be the beginning of a perfect night. The rose petals and the candles tease Giles as to what is waiting for him in his bedroom. He's expecting something wonderful to happen, and what he finds is his the woman he loves dead. Her eyes open. Staring at him from the bed as he walks up the stairs. the slow realisation creeping on his face, going from joy to sadness, then the quick cut to the police.
We don't get to see Giles' full anguish over Jenny's death, we only see him being calm as he deals with the police.
What we do see is Buffy and Willow getting a call from Giles letting them know what happened. We see their anguish, Buffy's silence, sinking into the floor, the camera focusing on her while we hear Willow's cries. But all the while we see Angelus revelling in his carnage, and smiling.
Buffy knows Giles will want revenge, why wouldn't he?
Now is not the time for 'I told you so' Xander! Jenny has dies, Giles is missing and you mostly hated Angel because Buffy liked him over you. Until he lost is soul, there was no reason to not trust him, so you do no get to use this moment to be high and fucking mighty. Twat.
Spike sees sense that Angelus refuses to see, that all he has done is piss off Buffy and friends.
Angelus is just laughing as Buffy beats the shit out of him because as she does Giles is in real danger if she doesn't go to him.
Buffy is finally ready to kill Angelus. It will still be a while before she has a chance to do so, but she has let go of who he was to her and is focused on what she needs to do.
6 notes · View notes
coinofstone · 4 years
Text
1x07 The Gates of Avalon
Uther: the last convenient stranger I let in to Camelot nearly killed me, but surely these people claiming to be nobles will be different!
Katie McGrath is such a talented actress. Yes her accent work isn't perfect but she could've done so much more with this role if only it had been written better than a 2D comic book villain.
There's nothing better than scenes of Merlin in the stocks
I don't get what the attraction is to Sophia. She looks like a child playing dress up. It's creepy. She's creepy in that porcelain doll sort of way.
Full offense, but Gaius and Uther are proof that old white men cannot be trusted with any MODICUM of power because they will use it to oppress oppress anyone who isn't like them, even if they *think* they're doing the right thing.
Merlin: I have magic
Gaius: he's a book, learn you something
Morgana: I've been having dreams that I think are visions
Gaius: haha silly girl, run along, you're perfectly fine! Just imagining things! Oh and don't mention this to your king cuz he'll kill yo- I mean, cuz he'll worry! Yes that's it.
I hate that I can't adjust the spacing on mobile.
I imagine the Shide to be fluttering around like 'why it's this mfer yelling'. Also, 'the price for your daughter's immortality is exactly one mortal prince soul' is one extraordinarily specific price. Dragon's coming at Merlin with all these vague ass prophecies, the Shide don't fuck around, they're like $42.59 no discounts no exceptions exact change only
I wonder if anyone's counted how many times 'I have to go, hell die if I don't' has been said in this series.
Imagine getting into a lake with a velvet cloak on. And Bradley and Colin fully going in, like underwater and shit too. In a REAL lake. God, so much no. A WORLD of no. Come to think of it, Colin did that a lot on TLATD too. Maybe he likes lakes. Actually I'm fairly certain that exact same mill pond location from TLATD was used in Poldark too, maybe it's a British media thing where they just like dunking their actors in lakes.
Uther never wonders why his guests just suddenly vanished? He never sends word to wherever they said they were going to make amends or whatever? Just like *shrug* guess they bounced?
Ahhh Tony does commentary on this! Exciting.
Bradley makes the weirdest faces when he's sword fighting. WHY ARE YOU MAKING A FACE LIKE A PUFFERFISH? FISH DON'T SWORD FIGHT!
Tony making fun of his costume is giving me life. And his laugh omg. The Giles thirst is real.
Uther on the loo lmao
The commentary is a lot of laughs but there isn't much to really say about it. Tony and Bradley have great repartee or whatever that word is. Tony being a diva about his crown is the best thing I've ever heard on a commentary track.
Everyone talking about Colin being so excited to do his own stunt.
Tony is obsessed with whether or not the water was cold, while Bradley is just like, 'I'm wearing 30 layers of costume' - wait so, actually the actors are IN the lake but they couldn't go UNDER the water... I don't understand, only like, up to the neck or something, but they are both soaked through anyway. It's so stupidly complicated. Health and safety regs apparently.
Now that Tony's pointed out the crown continuity I can't unsee it.
Funny commentary.
14 notes · View notes
erinaceina · 4 years
Note
Top 5 badass Somerville moments!
Seven moments rather than five because the Somervilles are just too awesome (also, I reserve the right to change my mind if anyone reminds me of other scenes) in no particular order:
The Somervilles responding to repeated mass invasions by barely sane Scotsmen in Game of Kings, but particularly this infamous line: ‘“I wish to God,” said Gideon with mild exasperation, “that you’d talk—just once—in prose like other people.”’
The big love revelation scene in Checkmate: Philippa’s not going to let Francis get away with shit and she’s so utterly determined to do the right thing, even when it hurts her. And when he reveals his feelings, it’s absolutely wonderful and terrible and she’s so stalwart through what follows.
This scene in Pawn in Frankincense: ‘“The coast's a jungle of Moors, Turks, Jews, renegades from all over Europe, sitting in palaces built from the sale of Christian slaves. There are twenty thousand men, women and children in the bagnios of Algiers alone. I am not going to make it twenty thousand and one because your mother didn't allow you to keep rabbits, or whatever is at the root of your unshakable fixation."
"I had weasels instead," said Philippa shortly.
"Good God," said Lymond, looking at her. "That explains a lot.”’
The whole Hall of Revels/languish locked in l scene in Ringed Castle: It’s all Philippa’s most charming qualities on display and it makes utter sense that the anvil moment follows this.
Kate and the blackberry pie scene: Everyone remembers the blackberry pie line, but there’s just so much going on here in the scene. I love the fact that the Kate gives Lymond some much needed respite, even if it is only two hours and even if she has to practically sit on Philippa to make it happen. I particularly adore the fact that Francis worries that Kate thinks he’s going to hit her and it literally never crosses her mind. Kate’s combination of acerbic humour and maternal instincts is just delightful, and the fact that she has to wake him up even when he’s blacked out with exhaustion and she still does it because she see what needs to be done is everything.
Philippa in the French embassy at the end of Pawn in Frankincense: She’s brave and determined and funny (the wriggling up from the bottom of the bed bit) even after all she’s gone through and she manages to extract from Francis the promise to live when few others could.
On the theme of brave and determined: The whole sequence at the end of Disorderly Knights where Philippa decides she needs to right the wrong that she’s done to Francis and sets off with Cheese-wame, through to when she stops Francis in St. Giles’s, it’s pure, unadulterated Somerville determination to do what’s right and I particularly love that she does it while looking like a drowned rat for 90% of the time and while genuinely terrified. Also, this line: ’Stop the Somervilles with a knife! It needs artillery!’
For a little light relief: The Annibal scene in Checkmate. It makes me giggle every single time. ‘Attrapée… with a double e and no proper shame that I can discover.’ For once, we see Philippa’s determination in a light-hearted setting and it’s so fun and such a nice parallel to Don Luis etc. 
19 notes · View notes
magaprima · 4 years
Text
Part 3 Episode 3
OMG HARVEY’S DAD TALKING TO HIM ABOUT SEX AND PROTECTION I’M DYING
Nick is having night terrors. Understandably. He’s going all Lady Macbeth trying to scrub himself clean
Zelda sneezed? Witches don’t get colds...
Also I swear I have Sabrina’s shirt in brown.....
Sabrina wants a long day with Nick, but Lilith turns up like ‘oh no. You don’t get to declare a reformation in hell and then leave. demons want some shit’ AND SABRINA WON’T FUCKING GO.
‘i’m not going. i’m spending the day with Nick’.
I swear, Lilith exasperation and frustration is my exasperation and frustration. You can’t just do shit and then leave Sabrina that’s not the way shit works. Also Lilith looks stunning. And I love her rolling her eyes while they kiss.
AH, the slamming of fists on the table from the trailer is now. They’re demanding an audience with Sabrina, and Lilith’s wide eyes in the trailer are her shouting the PG equivalent of SHUT THE FUCK UP
Unholy hell Lilith seems to actually be enjoying shouting at them on Sabrina’s behalf, because it’s like they can’t attack her, she’s only regent acting on behalf of the Queen. 
Lilith’s face when Caliban comes in is fucking priceless. It’s like ‘this fucking idiot again. go away’
Sabrina accepts Caliban’s challenge and Lilith is just like ‘a regent’s work is never done’ Lilith is just having a constant sass vibe
The challenge to the throne, meaning there’s essentially no one on the throne now, means the witches are losing their powers. They’re getting colds and not able to fly...
MRS MEEKS. She excitedly tells Mary about the carnival and Mary says, ‘Adam and I used to go to carnivals together’. OWWWWWWW
Theo getting dating advice from Harvey. I love Theo
Ambrose establishing that Queen of Hell or not, Sabrina will be killed by the Aunts if they find out. True facts
Nick has pretty hair. I wanna run my hands through it. Come here, handsome boy
ALL THE STUDENTS ARE TRASHY WITCHY BODICE RIPPERS. 
OMG IT’S HILDA’S NOVEL. SHE FUCKING WROTE IT OMFG. AND SHE HAS ZELDA IN THE BOOK AS A HAG SPINSTER SISTER OMFG HILDA??
Ooh hilda standing up for herself and getting her own life, identifying that her dreams are different from zelda’s. ‘i have duty to myself to be happy’
Zelda deleted Hilda’s book. Don’t be a meanie Zelda
Nick has serious PTSD and needs help. Sabrina ‘you are so lucky the church of night only has 12 members right now or I would totally smite your asses’. Love it. Nick needs help like I can stress this enough. He’s been through literal hell
Ambrose wants to keep Herod’s Crown. Ambrose....give it back. Drop it. Drooooop it. Drop it.
Oh no, I think they released King Herod from the tree. Like you do. I can just hear Giles’ voice being like ‘don’t free crowns out of trees’
NICK IS TRYING TO CUT OFF HIS OWN FOOT. HELP THE FELLA
Undead King Herod smells of maple syrup because he came out of a maple tree. Yum. 
Roz can see that the carnival people are satyrs and other celtic creatures. Roz is definitely the Phoebe Halliwell of the group
Ah Dr C and Hilda having a romantic walk through the carnival. Aaaaaah
Hilda’s dream: I just want to grow old in a cottage with a fire and the spiders and a dog. Not a stuffed one
Yeah Hilda thinks Vinegar Tom is weird too, I hear you, Hilds. 
DR C PROPOSING TO HILDA SHE DROPPED HER CANDYFLOSS!!!!
SHE SAID YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is Roz getting entranced by Billy. And I do mean entranced.
Ah Mary walking alone at the carnival. Since finding out she’s an only child I’m extra protective of her, because I am an only child, and only children, we learn to do stuff on our own because we have no siblings to drag along. Mary heads straight for the fortune telling tent. She’s sat so awkwardly while having her palms read.
‘I had a fiancee, Adam. I fear something terrible has befallen him’. 
the reader replies ‘I’m sorry, he is gone forever. But you already know this, because you were there’ and Mary is confused as fuck. ‘I wasn’t. At least I don’t remember’. She looks so upset. The fortune teller than guesses that Mary never had sex with Adam. Mary is rightfully insulted by this prodding into her sex life and leaves.
I feel it’s implied here Mary is a virgin which makes me wonder...fuck do they need a virgin sacrifice?
Harvey wonders into the snake dancer tent. Of course he does. So much Lilith imagery here mixed in with druidic and hindu? Such a mix up. 
Nick and Sabrina go into the tunnel of love, very sweet, come out screaming like a Benny Hill sketch with King Herod behind them. I love this kind of stuff, where something serious is executed with dry humour. It’s why I loved Buffy so much growing up.
Sabrina didn’t grab the fucking crown while Caliban is there. so he gets it. fucking hell Sabrina.
Mary back in her cottage. She’s found Lilith’s box of tricks. i.e dead things and spells.And Adam’s fucking ring. Wait....hasn’t Lilith got that ring? Oh wait, was there a pair?
Either way Mary asks ‘what happened to you Adam? What happened to me?’. Well, Mary you will killed by Lilith, and Adam was killed By Lucifer because Lilith loved him. 
Caliban is crowning himself with Herod’s crown and Lilith is just like thinking this is the worst torture ever. When Sabrina punches the crown off him, Lilith is the one to pick it up and put it away, and she has a very curious look when the demons start chanting Sabrina’s name...?
OMG THE FUCKING CARNIVAL PEOPLE INCLUDE THEO’S LOVE INTEREST (duh robin goodfellow equals puck) BUT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR FUCKING VIRGINS??? which Mary, Harvey and Theo are. Can I just say I love how virgins are not presented with one look or habit in this show, and not shown as less capable or successful people which shows often do.. Virginity means nothing. Except to a bunch of people wanting to sacrifice you to bring forth an old god. 
7 notes · View notes
thebeautyofdisorder · 4 years
Text
Tagging Game
I was tagged by @lets-talk-about-claes-baby yesterday, so let’s see...
Rules: answer 20 questions and tag blogs you want to get to know better!
Name: Kristine
Zodiac Sign: Gemini (Libra moon/ascending)
Height: 5'3. (tech 5′2 1/2 but any shoes makes it 5′3 so it counts)
Languages I Speak: Just English, alas. I took 4 years of high school French but most of it has escaped by brain
Nationality: A typical American mutt - though predominantly Irish, Scottish, and Native (Cherokee, by majority)
Favorite Season: Autumn is basically my happy place. When it’s cold enough to wear cozy things without sweating, but not cold enough to be miserable. Plus the aesthetics are on point, and all fun things tend to happen about that time in my life, at least.
Favorite Flower: Roses are beautiful, but not my favorite smell. I’ll go with Jasmine or Orchids, then.
Favorite Smell: Fresh brewed coffee, campfire, sandalwood, amber, leather, stormy air, whatever combination of chaotic scents that arrests my nose when I walk into the renaissance festival - a bunch of oil perfumes and incense and fire probably
Favorite Color: Red, Black, Silver
Favorite Animal: Felines of various types and birds
Favorite Fictional Character(s): Fuuuck, I have tooo many. Um, let’s try to break this down as much as possible... In no particular order and probably lacking many important names: 
Male: Erik/Phantom of the Opera - through various incarnations of film page and stage, Captain Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones - Pirates of the Caribbean, Dracula - varying versions, though BBC is currently my focus, Sherlock Holmes - another victorian-based character that I love through most if not all versions - favoring the OG as well as BBC, Spike and Giles - Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Lucifer from Lucifer, Dean Winchester from Supernatural - also Crowley from Supernatural, Eric and Lafayette from True Blood, Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds, Sweeney Todd from his namesake, Gomez Addams of the Addams Family, Rick Castle from Castle, The Doctor from Doctor Who (9 and12 are my favs because Snark Level 5000, but I haven’t watched through the whole thing so I’m sure I will vary my opinions), Tyrion and Jamie Lannister and Jorah from Game of Thrones, Sirius Black - Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore from HP (I’m an odd duck in that combo I know), Vegeta from Dragonball Z, um... Loki/Tony/Stephen/Vision/Bucky/Steve/Bruce from Marvel?, Batman, Joker, Scarecrow from DC, Indiana Jones too, and Graverobber from Repo, and Hannibal of course in any version, Geralt and Jaskier from The Witcher - fuck, I’m running out of steam and I still have to do the ladies *pants* - there’s a lot more, if you’ve seen my tumblr for a while YOU KNOW okay
Female: Buffy, Faith, and Dru from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean ofc, Agatha and Zoe Van Helsing from BBC Dracula, Irene Adler in any version of Sherlock Holmes but Lara Pulver has my heart, Christine Daae as much of a little shit she can be has some spunk to her when written properly and I love her, Daenearys, Arya, and Melisandre from Game of Thrones, Rowena and Meg and Charlie from Supernatural, Morticia and Wednesday Addams, Tara and Pam and Sookie from True Blood, Beckett from Castle, Brennan from Bones, Natasha, Wanda and Okoye and Carol from Marvel, Huntress, Catwoman, Harley Quinn, and Diana from DC, Lagertha from Vikings, Morgana from Merlin, Jo March from Little Women (1993 version is my childhood OG but most versions), Veronica in Heathers, Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd 
Dear god this is getting tiresome, okay. You get it, I really like deranged and complicated weirdos of all genders with wonderful bone structure
Tea, Coffee, or Hot Chocolate: Coffee is my #1 but I love all three
Average Sleep Hours: Um..7 hours is about my ideal but usually it’s 5.5 - I know I’m terrible. I work nights (get off work at 1 AM) so there’s only so much to be done 
Cat or Dog Person: Cats - though I do love dogs, some are just too hyper and needy for my taste
Dream Trip: Just to travel around Europe and see a lot of really historically interesting places, same for the rest of the world
# of Blankets I Sleep With: One and it’s very large and fuzzy
Blog Established: Um... this one?  I think 2012 or so?
Followers: 603! I don’t even know how that happened, I sat at 300-something for YEARS. I’ve gained 44 in the last month O.O - the power of Claes Bang fangirling, apparently. He brings everyone together to drool in unison
Fun Fact(s): I’m nearing 30 and don’t drive (yay seizures)? 
I have two small children who are far too excitable to have come from my body, save when they decide to randomly spout some weird morbid stuff and I go “There it is!” 
I really love tacos
I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts 
I love musicals and heavy metal with equal voracity
I make a lot of fanvideos?
I...don’t know who to tag.  Let’s see who comes up when I do this... @hoefordarkness @punk-courtesan @allis143  - though everyone feel free
3 notes · View notes