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hopelesshawks · 2 years

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A Deal with God

Itto x gn!Reader

I came up with this idea back during the Perilous Trails event on Genshin and turned it into a collab event with @hutaoscoffinn. This is at least a month after we said we’d post stuff but alas 🥴 anyway here it is and I hope y’all enjoy

The blog posting this is 18+ only. Any minors who try to follow will be blocked

Tags and Warnings: very character centric, slight side ship content, temporary major character death, heavy angst, hallucinations

Link to change y/n to your actual name (not mobile compatible)

General Masterlist Kofi

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Is now the time for this?”

“Tell him I’m sorry…”

“What do you— Traveler, what do you mean?”

“You know how he is so just… tell him I’m sorry and that I love him. Take care of him for me.”

“Wait, don't—!”

~ ~ ~

Itto stretches as the sun feels warm on his face, his joints popping after his nap as he wakes his body back up.

“Ah I slept like a rock, good times…” he yawns, only to notice the grim look on Shinobu’s face as Floating Lavender Melon clings onto her. Lavender Melon’s eyes are red like she’s been crying and when he turns his gaze towards his lawyer savior her expression matches Shinobu’s in its solemnity.

“Huh? What’re you doing? What’s going on? Why’s everyone looking at me like that?” he asks.

He gets silence back. It’s his savior that speaks up first but even she seems a little choked up.

“Well, uhm, first thing’s first. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?” she asks cautiously and Itto can’t understand why everyone’s so fucking grim all of a sudden.

“The fuck are you talking about? I’m fine! I had an epic power nap and now I feel like a million mora! I feel like I’m forgetting something though…”

He stops to think for a moment, missing the way everyone winces.

“Oh yea! Wait… Weren’t we underground? How did we get back up here? And where’s (y/n) run off to?”

He looks around the other three trying to catch a sight of you but no dice. Lavender Melon starts crying and he’s not sure what he said to offend her.

“Hey don’t cry! What’s wrong?? Whatever it is I totally didn’t mean it! I’m just tryna figure out what’s going on!” he tries to assure her, worried he may have hurt your little friend’s feelings. You’re always telling him to play nice with Paimon.

“It’s a long story but… Itto you should know. Traveler didn’t make it,” Yanfei explains but Itto just cocks his head to the side in confusion.

“What do you mean they didn’t make it? They were just with us when I took my nap.”

It’s Shinobu who speaks up next and the fact she doesn’t sound exasperated or teasing or any of the usual tones he hears her speak with is starting to freak him out a bit.

“While we were trying to escape we were attacked by these red spirits. Yelan and Xiao needed to focus on powering our way out, I was carrying you, Yanfei isn’t really a fighter so… Traveler sacrificed themselves to make sure the rest of us could get out. They’re gone Boss.”

Grief seems to hang heavy in the air but Itto doesn’t understand. You know how he feels about self-sacrifice. You’d never… and anyway there’s no way some stupid little spirits would get you. You’re The Traveler! Slayer of Dragons! Ender of the Sakoku Decree! Proud co-boss of the Arataki Gang! Well… he technically never talked to you about being co-boss but he figures you just know that the title comes with the territory of dating him. Regardless!! There is absolutely no way in hell you’re gone. Everyone else must be insane if they really think that.

“So what you’re saying is they’re still inside right?” he asks.

Everyone nods.

“Ok, then I’ll wait here.”

“Boss…” Shinobu starts.

“What?”

“They’re not coming back.”

“They are. Just you wait, aaaany minute they’re gonna spring right up and you’ll feel SO stupid for doubting the Great Arataki Itto and his equally fantastic partner.”

“Seriously it’s… It’s not happening. We should go.”

“Oh Shinobu. Silly, silly Shinobu. This is why I’m the boss. Trust me. My baby is gonna pop up right there and you’re all gonna wish you listened to Itto and stuck around to see it because it’s going to be fucking fantastic.”

“You didn’t… you didn’t see it, Boss. I’m sorry but we should go I—”

“Nope. Staying right here.”

“They had to have fallen hundreds if not thousands of meters! Even if they survived the fall they’re stuck! Forever! Don’t you get that? They’re dead!”

“Kuki…” Yanfei cuts her off, putting a hand on her shoulder to help ground her. It’s only then Shinobu realizes she’d started trembling and Paimon has grown even more distraught.

“Shit… sorry I… I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up,” she apologizes with a wince before turning back to Itto, “but you’re being stubborn. We can’t stay here, we need to get back to the others in Inazuma.”

“No. I’m staying here. You just don’t know (y/n) like I do,” Itto insists before stomping over to a spot on the grass some distance from the group and dropping down to sit there cross-legged, done with the conversation.

What did they know? Shinobu only just met you and even if you knew Yanfei before, she can’t possibly know you as well as your amazing, awesome, totally attentive and caring boyfriend does. You’re going to make it out. You have to. And no way is he going to let you surface and find yourself completely alone. So he doesn’t move; even when Yanfei squeezes his shoulder as well and then walks away; even when Shinobu shakes her head and leaves with Floating Lavender Melon in tow.

Itto stays when the sun goes down.

He stays when it comes back up again.

And the same the next day.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

Kuki figures Itto lasted a day before he finally realized you weren’t coming. Maybe his stubbornness kept him there for a few days. Absolute max a week. Regardless, when she touches down in Inazuma she’s fairly confident Itto is already on a boat back or at least hunting one down. In the meantime, as usual, she’ll have to keep the gang together and break the news to them. She’s not actually sure if taking Paimon with her is the best idea considering she’d only just met her, but the Arataki gang has always been about taking in strays and as frustrating as the gang’s naive optimism and overconfidence can be, that may be precisely the energy Paimon needs right now.

It takes everything in Kuki not to wince when the gang comes rushing up to her, clearly looking for their (stupidly) fearless leader. They’re surrounding her asking questions in a moment, too quickly for her to process any of them. Paimon shrinks against her chest, a habit she’s taken too quite a bit since the chasm.

“Ok, ok stand down guys, one at a time,” Kuki sighs.

“Where’re boss and co-boss??” Genta asks nervously.

The boys always get this way whenever Itto leaves: antsy and anxious. Usually their concerns are unfounded so it’s easy enough to brush off, but this time well… Kuki still isn’t quite sure how to break it to them.

“Boss is still in Liyue,” she starts cautiously, “he has business to attend to there still and Traveler… Traveler won’t be coming back.”

“What do you mean they won’t be coming back?” Akira presses.

Kuki doesn’t respond verbally. She just gives the boys a significant look and she knows they understand from the immediate aura of grief that seems to settle heavy on all their shoulders. She hates it. She hates she had to be the one to break it to them on her own; hates that Itto isn’t here with the perfectly wrong words to bring the mood back up. She doesn’t blame him for his absence but as frequently as Itto shows himself an incapable boss, it’s moments like these that remind her why he still carries the title.

“Anyway, Paimon will be joining us for now so you idiots better behave alright? We all have to take good care of her as a member of the Arataki gang,” Kuki declares and she’s grateful that the boys all respond enthusiastically. It’ll be good for them to have something else to focus on and Kuki could use the distraction herself. She barely knew you, but she still feels your loss quite deeply. It somehow both surprises her and doesn’t. It’s odd to consider someone so important after such a short time together, but she gets the feeling that’s just the effect you had on people. After all, how else could you have befriended such varied people from all across Teyvat? Even the adeptus had looked heartbroken by your passing.

And when it came to Itto, well… Kuki didn’t think he had any interest whatsoever in romance before you came along. It was all childish games, beetle fights, and getting into trouble until you showed up in his life. When he fell for you he fell hard. Kuki thought it was puppy love. She thought you were another hyperfixation Itto would latch onto, cause trouble for, and then move on from. But Itto’s love for you held firm and finally getting to see the two of you interact together in the chasm had shown her how wrong she was. Itto is careless by nature but she could see the way he tried so hard not to be careless with you. Perhaps you were a little too accommodating of even his dumbest ideas, sharing sympathy even when she and the others teased him for his recklessness, but Kuki didn’t miss the way he’d melt into you whenever you praised or reassured him. You didn’t let him off the hook, but you were soft with him in a way Kuki can never bring herself to be. She thinks it made for a good balance. She remembers commenting on it, how protective you seem of him sometimes, during one of those weird rest periods down in the chasm. You’d chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of your neck.

“Yeaaa… it’s a bit much isn’t it?”

“I never said that!” Kuki refuted but you shook your head to show her it was ok.

“You could say it though. I know you’re right. I know stuff rolls off his back pretty quickly. Heck I probably get more upset over stuff than he does half the time. But… he’s had a lot of people judge him, write him off, and chase him out his entire life. He hasn’t had nearly as many protecting him. So even when he doesn’t care, even when it’s not that deep, I want to be by his side. Just so he knows y’know? So he knows there’s someone there when he can’t be The Great Arataki Itto.”

Kuki isn’t entirely sure there’s ever a time when he isn’t The Great Arataki Itto but your point touched her all the same. It was reassuring knowing her boss had someone with a better head on their shoulders by his side when she couldn’t be. Archon knows no one in the rest of the gang can be that person. As it is she’ll have her hands full keeping them in control without their charismatic leader to at least direct their chaotic energy somewhere.

Over the next few days Kuki’s time is spent corralling the gang and helping cheer up Paimon. Both tasks are all consuming and soon days turn to weeks without her even realizing it. The gang settles into a rhythm, hyperfixated on helping Paimon, who through their misguided efforts does start to smile a little more again. In fact, they settle into so much of a rhythm that Kuki doesn’t even notice that Itto should long since have returned to Inazuma from Liyue. When she does finally realize, it’s because Itto has made his triumphant return in the most Itto fashion possible:

By getting arrested.

An exasperated Kujou Sara alerts her that immediately upon arriving home, Itto attempted to break into Tenshukaku to gain audience with the Raiden Shogun herself and as a result Kuki now needs to go bail him out of jail. Again…

It’s at least reassuring he’s gone right back to his old tricks.

Except when she arrives at the prison, expecting a wide, sheepish grin and unrepentant enthusiasm, she’s instead met with a cold, eerie silence and an empty shell of her boss.

~ ~ ~

Itto failed you.

Asking the archon for help was his last shot and he failed you.

Tears brim in his eyes. He’s always been a cry baby hasn’t he? Shinobu teases him about it sometimes. He probably doesn’t deserve to cry over this. Not when he was knocked out when he should have been helping you fight off the spirits Shinobu spoke of. Not when he’s the only reason Shinobu couldn’t help you herself. Not when he’d just fucked up the only possible way he had to maybe get you back. He faces the wall as the tears descend, ashamed of them. He doesn’t deserve them. Doesn’t deserve to cry for you.

How many times has he been warned about being reckless? How many times has Shinobu told him his actions could lead to this very thing happening?

You were the best thing that ever happened to him and now you’re gone and there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.

“Boss?”

Shinobu’s voice cuts through his thoughts. She must be so disappointed in him. She tried to tell him you weren’t coming and he didn’t listen and now she’s been out here running the gang alone for… he’s not sure how long. He lost track of the days after the first few.

“I, uh, bailed you out. We’re free to go.”

Itto rises from the ground finally turning around to face her only to realize he can’t meet her eyes. Guilt and bile climb up his throat. His ancestors must be so ashamed of him. So much for oni pride.

Shinobu hesitates as if expecting Something but Itto isn’t sure what. Another beat passes and finally she turns and starts to lead him out, occasionally checking over her shoulder as if she still can’t quite believe what she’s seeing. They step out into the hustle and bustle of Inazuma City but it feels wrong. You’re usually here waiting for him whenever Shinobu comes to bail him out. Instead there’s nothing. Shinobu just keeps walking as if there isn’t a gaping you-sized hole in the air and he follows because there’s nothing else he can do.

He wants to cry again.

He doesn’t.

When they reach Byakko Plain where the gang is waiting, they surround him and he thinks he hears Shinobu warn them not to crowd but it’s hard to process much of anything. As he finally lifts his gaze up, he finds he still can’t meet their eyes, especially when he notices Little Floating Lavender Melon amongst the group. Everyone talks at him at once except for Shinobu, who is trying to quiet the others, and Lavender Melon who stays silent. It all sounds like white noise to him but he can tell from their faces that they’re concerned about him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, shores up the scattered remains of The Great Arataki Itto and sets them ablaze to give one last announcement to his gang.

“I have to go! Granny needs me! Shinobu’s in charge until I get back!”

The moment he’s made the declaration he shoves past them all to head back towards Hanamizaka, leaving the ashes of himself behind. If he’d really been thinking he would have just stopped there immediately and slinked into his granny’s house on he and Shinobu’s way out of the city, before he could be confronted with the gang. But he hadn’t been. Everything feels like a blur. He’s not even 100% sure how he’s putting one foot in front of the other. He blinks and suddenly his granny is opening the door for him at her house and for the first time in forever he feels like that lost little kid with nothing and no one that she first found all those years ago.

Except he doesn’t have no one. He has an entire gang in fact. A gang he’s just left dumbfounded and abandoned on Byakko Plain. Yet somehow it doesn’t provide him any comfort knowing they’re there. He doesn’t know how to be who they expect him to be in a world without you in it. So instead he lets himself be a lost and lonely child, reliant on the kindness of a sweet old woman as she tucks him into the bed of his old room.

~ ~ ~

“Thank you for the walk,” Kuki sighs appreciatively as she follows Kujou Sara around on her patrol through the city.

“You looked like you could use it. I’m guessing you’ve been busy keeping the gang in check considering it’s been so quiet around here lately,” Sara comments as she watches her friend just as closely as she watches the streets around her.

It’s precisely that vigilance that allows her to notice the minute tensing of Kuki’s shoulders and how her steps stutter for just a moment as they walk.

“What is it? What have they done now?” Sara insists, suddenly protective. The gang has always run Shinobu ragged and Sara hasn’t been shy about expressing her concern. She’s tried to convince the other woman to leave the gang. After all, Sara would gladly get Kuki a job working amongst the Tenryou Commission’s forces. But Kuki shakes her head with a wry smile.

“No it’s not anything they’ve done. I almost wish it was. I at least know how to deal with that. It’s the boss. He’s been practically catatonic since I bailed him out last month. He was quiet the whole walk back and when I finally got him to the gang he made a flimsy excuse to leave and has been holed up in his grandmother’s ever since,” she explains.

There are few things that genuinely surprise Sara but hearing that the resident neighborhood nuisance has locked himself away from his merry band of misfits is certainly enough to do the job.

“He seemed fine when I arrested him. Perhaps a bit rowdier than normal but back to his usual tricks demanding to see the Shogun. What changed?”

“I have a theory about that…” Kuki starts and her saddened tone draws all of Sara’s focus, “you remember what I told you happened to Traveler right?”

Sara nods, her mouth pressing into a grim line. How could she forget?

“Boss didn’t give up on them resurfacing at first. That’s why he came back after I did. He refused to leave the entrance to the chasm, kept insisting it was only a matter of time until Traveler would pop out too. I think he finally figured out there was no way they could do it on their own so if Traveler couldn’t pull it off, and an adeptus couldn’t pull it off…”

“Maybe an archon could,” Sara says, completing Kuki’s sentence for her as the other woman nods.

“Yea… Once he failed to get help from the Shogun I think he just didn’t know what else to do. He’s not used to being completely shut down like that and I don’t think he knows what to do without Traveler.”

Sara may not be Itto’s biggest fan but she cares about Kuki. A lot. And if helping the infamous oni would lift a weight off Kuki’s shoulders then so be it. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts on the matter before finally sharing them with her friend.

“Well maybe he had a good idea for once. I can see if I can get a message to the Shogun through official channels. After all, Traveler has done much for Inazuma. We’d be remiss to stand idly by when we could potentially save them.”

Kuki’s eyes widen as she takes a gentle hold of Sara’s arm, stopping them both on the path through town. Sara feels her heart pick up speed in her chest, blood rushing to her face at Kuki’s grateful gaze.

“You’d seriously do that? I don’t want to cause you too much trouble, especially over the gang,” Kuki insists, although it’s impossible for her to keep the cautious optimism from her voice.

Sara clears her throat awkwardly, unable to maintain the eye contact as she finds herself suddenly feeling sheepish.

“O-Obviously. As I said, Traveler has done much for Inazuma and if bringing them back also makes things a bit easier on you then so be it.”

She feels Kuki squeeze her arm before it slips away and the other woman steps up next to her.

“Thank you Sara. I mean it.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I can’t guarantee it will work.”

“I know but… somehow I already feel a lot better. So thank you.”

Sara isn’t quite sure she deserves the level of faith Kuki seems to have in this plan. After all there’s no way of knowing if the Shogun will be able to help even if she chooses to, which in and of itself is not guaranteed. Still, she won’t question it too much. Not when Kuki seems lighter than she has the entire time they’ve been walking together.

~ ~ ~

Itto doesn’t know that he’s ever felt such guilt in his entire life.

He feels guilty for failing you.

He feels guilty for failing the gang.

He feels guilty for burdening his granny and he feels guilty for dishonoring the proud name of the Oni.

It weighs on his chest, pinning him to the bed, and on the rare occasions he can force himself up, the weight simply shifts to his shoulders to make each step more painful than the last. He can barely move on the best of days, is completely immobilized on the worst. Every day he tries to get out of his room. Every day he fails.

In his defense he’s made progress. The first week he didn’t even bother trying. He laid motionless in bed staring up at the ceiling, ignoring every meal his granny left at his side. Things started getting fractionally better about halfway through the second week.

That’s when you started showing up.

Or rather… Not You.

Not You looks like you. They sound like you. They have all the right mannerisms and quirks and features. They’re almost identical to you in every way. So much so that when they first leaned over his bed to look down at him with their eyebrows furrowed in concern, his eyes had widened, vision going blurry with unshed tears as he thought for a moment that you had returned to him; but when he reached up to caress what he thought were your cheeks, his hand passed right through Not You, dissipating the image like smoke and leaving him alone with the guilt and the grief once more.

He’s learned his lesson since then. Don’t touch. Just look and listen and Not You will stick around to encourage him to do better. He considered the idea that Not You was the work of a tanuki or perhaps the archon herself, but he eliminated that possibility when he realized he’s the only one who can see them. No, Not You wasn’t gifted to him. They are a product of his own brain: his memories and imagination combining forces to give him the only potential cure to his current state that his brain could think of.

This time Itto makes it halfway across the room before the weight becomes too much and he has to sit down. He drops to the ground none too gracefully, chest heaving as if he’s run for kilometers on end instead of walking a meter or two at most. It’s the furthest he’s gotten so far but it’s still not nearly enough and the remainder of his room looms large ahead of him. He presses the heels of his palms to his eyes and sighs, body hunching over.

“You did so well Big Guy,” Not You assures him from where they’re stood at his side.

“It’s not good enough,” he fires back.

“For now it is.”

“But–”

“Itto?”

His head snaps up. The door of his room is open and Not You stands in the entryway with one hand still on the handle. His brows furrow in confusion as he snaps his head back to where he’d just heard Not You’s voice coming from only moments ago but they’re indeed gone so he returns his gaze to their new location. It’s odd. Not You doesn’t normally teleport between locations in his room anymore since it destroys the illusion and upsets him. And while Not You frequently looks at him with concern, they rarely look confused anymore. He thinks he catches sight of Shinobu and Kujou Tengu just past the doorway in the main area of Granny’s house but Not You closes the door behind themself before he can be sure. That too is odd. Not You usually can’t actually move things in his room. Maybe his… visions (calling Not You a vision sounds better than calling them a hallucination) are getting worse if he thinks Not You is actually moving things in the room now.

Not You approaches slowly and hesitantly, sinking down towards him once they’re close. They reach out as if to touch him and he flinches back and away. A flash of hurt crosses their face the way it always does when he reacts like this, but he’s found it takes longer for the vision to return when they dissipate from his touch so he’s extra careful now.

“You know I can’t touch you,” he rasps, his voice hoarse from how rarely he uses it nowadays. He tries to limit how much he verbally responds to Not You since Granny once caught him doing it and looked even more concerned than usual afterwards.

“Why not?” Not You asks and it draws a pained whine from his lips that reverberates through his chest, his broken heart struggling to beat.

“You know why.”

“Explain it to me again.”

He sighs heavily and his vision blurs with the tears he refuses to let fall once more.

“Because you’re not really here… You’re not really them and the minute I touch you you’ll vanish and it takes so long for you to come back,” he admits, his voice wet as he draws his knees up so he can hide his face in them.

But then suddenly there’s a warm hand on his back and someone takes hold of his chin oh so gently to force him to look up again. The eyes his gaze is forced to meet shine in a way Not You’s could never quite capture and when silent tears start to fall and Itto raises a cautious hand up to brush them away, the pads of his fingers meet warm skin instead of air.

All at once it hits him. This isn’t Not You, it’s you. He doesn’t know how but it’s seriously, actually you. For real. Flesh and blood and there and he doesn’t feel like wasting time to ask questions so he doesn’t. He simply launches himself into you, his large arms wrapping around you as he sends you both crashing into the floor, pinning you beneath his weight. For the first time since he left the chasm he fully sobs. It’s not a pretty sight with tears and snot running down his face but he doesn’t care because he finally has you firmly in his grip again and all of the things that Not You could never give him are back. Your unique smell, the gentle pressure of your chest rising and falling beneath his, and the reassuring thrum of your heartbeat in his ears.

“It’s ok Baby. I’m here. I’m right here,” you assure him and it just makes him sob harder.

But it’s good. It’s so incredibly good.

Because you’re right. It will be ok. It’ll take time for him to really believe it; for him to be able to close his eyes at night and truly believe that you won’t be gone when they open again; for him to seek out your touch and warmth without worrying you’ll vanish the moment he should make contact.

But here you are. And he suspects he owes his second in command and the tengu warrior to thank for that considering they’re both just on the other side of the door. He’ll find a way to pay them back later (whether they want him to or not).

For now he’ll just let himself sob against you, luxuriating in the feeling of the sweet comfort he thought he’d lost forever.

#itto x reader #arataki itto x reader #genshin fanfic #arataki itto angst #itto angst #hopeless.oneshot

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jellybeanium124 · 27 days

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I don't know who you were talking about so I could be wrong, but I think that those "people who talk about Ed stans like they're a problem" most likely are not referring to all the people who like/love Ed but specifically to those you talk about in the post that in order to discredit Izzy at all costs they only see him as someone who exists to further Ed and Stede's character development. Apart from that, this way to see "non protagonist" characters sadden me… If they weren't also important why do Jenkins spent time on Jim's story, on Lucius and the others? Just to fill and make the episodes longer?? D:

I disagree with people who think "ed stans" are a problem in the fandom, especially when people think they're an equivalent problem to the canyon. no they're not. there is at least one guy on """my side""" of things that I find really annoying, and I've definitely seen takes from other people out in the open (aka not in the canyon) that I don't like. but you cannot call the issues equal.

first of all, I've never seen "ed stans" the way izzy people talk about them. granted, I don't go into the tags. I can't say I've seen everything. but like, if you have 2 groups, and the 2 groups don't like each other, they tend to exaggerate and make up shit about the other group to continue the antagonizing relationship. ngl I've seen it on """my side""" too. I have seen some canyon takes first-hand. I'll occasionally scroll down their blogs out of curiosity. there's varying levels of canyon-ness. and people on """my side""" have sometimes exaggerated things or made it out to be that everyone in the canyon thinks this versus it just being one dumb fuck's take. we see the canyon as a monolith but it really isn't, same way we aren't a monolith. anyways, long story short, you cannot call these two groups equally bad because of the canyon's obvious racism problem. this was just a long-winded way of getting to the fact that izzy stans and the canyon have a racism problem.

I'm not saying """my side""" is perfect, nor am I the person to discuss that in depth because I am not a person of color. I'm just saying that the canyon is continuing to perpetuate racist tropes in fic and art after literal years of fans of color discussing how these things are racist. stede and/or izzy having to teach ed how to bathe/take care of his hair immediately comes to mind, for example. writing ed as uniquely violent, and responding to feeling threatened with gratuitous violence instead of hiding and curling up into a ball. continuing to reference slavery in their fics.

why don't "ed stans" talk about how ed did bad shit more? because the canyon won't shut the fuck up about it! I think having a frank and productive discussion surrounding ed's actions in 2x01-2x02, as well as a bit of 1x10 is impossible in any sort of public space, and could only happen in a private discord server. I don't think there's anyone who seriously believes ed did nothing he had to apologize for. he did do horrible things. he did have to earn the crew's trust back. the show did really, really rush through it due to The Shortening. but we don't talk about it because we're too busy trying to counter canyon takes.

I do agree with you on that last bit. I am not inclined to view any sentient character in any story merely as a plot device for the protagonist(s). it's just not a method of literary analysis that I particularly jive with. symbolism is cool, and obviously it should be discussed, but at the end of the day, I view characters as people within their own universe, not objects within their own universe, regardless of their importance to the narrative. take jack, for example. one of the most plot-devicey characters in the show. but I still prefer to, and find it more interesting to, see him as a person within the world of the show rather, than a plot device puppet. my point with the post was I see people arguing that izzy's side-characterness makes him less of a person inside the world of the show than stede and ed, but never ever apply that line of thinking to any other side character, and I find it reactionary and hypocritical. now, if you view all the side characters as plot devices, then you're being consistent, and while I don't agree with you, I don't particularly care, and I think that's fine.

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lilflowerpot · 1 year

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Hello!

I just finished reading your fic LB (twice!!), you're suuuch a good writer! The characters and the world building/culture and lore especially are super super amazing! Yours is probably one of the best fics I've EVER read! The best one in the Voltron tag for sure! Seriously, it's super duper awesome! I also looove that you're answering questions here!

I was actually wondering about the Galra in regards to (raising) their children...

You said before that children are really very, very important to the Galra and that they are treated very well, hence why Keith's neglect/(abuse?)/maltreatment would really shock and upset them...

I also read your posts about the Idea of disowning children and how a child (perhaps not an adult?) acting out would moreso be considered a failing on the parents part etc. ...

Considering that Lotor was (rather publicly?) banished and (perhaps not so publicly) mistreated by his 'father' (and technically his 'mother', but the Galra don't know that I suppose), how would the Galra look at that? Especially the mistreatment, I mean some of the Galra upper echelon had to have known about it, right? Do they excuse it, because Lotor is only half Galra and Zarkon is the emperor? Is it more or less a kept secret? Do only certain people dis-/approve?

Also how is a banishment like this viewed by the general public? Wouldn't it be a really big stain on Zarkon's rule/popularity? Wouldn't it carry a sentiment like 'if you can't properly take care of your own child, how will you be able to take care of an Empire'?

(If this is a spoiler or you answered a question like this before I apologize...)

Also: imagine Kolivan/the Blades finding out about not only Keith's mistreatment but Lotor's past as well??? The rage... the empire wouldn't know what hit'em!

ALSO also reading in one of your tags about Kolivan having a mate and a child that he lost... And reliving that trauma everytime one of the blades dies... Is someone cutting onions in here or what? 😭

Keith, you have to make it!!! If not for your own, then for Kolivan's sake!!!!!

Anyway, thank you so much for writing Little Blade and induldging everyone with your blog posts!

Ahhhhh thank you so much my love!! 🥰

So you seem to have done your reading and be very much up to speed with all my posts about galra children (which is very exciting for me, I'm always glad to know that people are still enjoying my longer posts even months/years later!!), but I've linked the bulk of them above for the ease of anyone who is less familiar.

In terms of the behaviour of children reflecting upon the parents/caregivers/community, this is only the case while the child in question is still a child—and indeed the line between galra childhood and adulthood is quite a distinct one. I think of the Empire as a whole (ie. not just one cultural/religious group within it) hosting something akin to the Maasai coming-of-age ceremony, Il Mirisho, wherein the initiates are boys of the same "age set" of 9-15 years. So the galra equivalent of this is Q'tskraal, a quadrennial rite of passage for kits of at least 60idp (21.4% of the way through the average galra lifespan, the approximate human equivalent of 17y), the name of which is an amalgamation of two Zaalkh words: Q'tsaal (the tutelary deity of change, its name being synonymous with the qualities of mutability / unpredictability / progress / a demanding spirit), and Kral (from the root Kra, indicative of a physical trial of conquest). Celebrated only once every four decaphoebs, this rite is held at the end of Nydaan—the ninth of Daibazaal's ten phoebs, as, due to the galra's monestrous fertility cycle, the overwhelming majority of successful births occur throughout A’vael, with premature / overdue kitlings being born into late Hiikyl / early Nydaan respectively, meaning that as Nydaan comes to a close all but the most extreme of outliers have freshly celebrated the anniversary of their birth—in the hope that the Divine Twin L’lameih, whose benevolent eye is the emerald star of Nyd, will bless the proceedings.

Participants are presented with a trial which, if they prove themselves strong enough to overcome, denotes them as capable of sharing in the community's burdens as a contributing member rather than a dependent. Though the specifics vary depending on local tradition, the broad strokes of this trial tend to be the same across the Empire, with all the participants being ceremoniously bathed, clothed, and painted, before the rite-proper (which usually involves some element of combat, due to strength being such a core value in imperial culture) commences. More often than not, the manner in which any given participant triumphs in this trial is just as important as the victory itself, as this is believed to reveal some core facet of their character and therefore indicate what kind of a person they will be—a warrior? a scholar? an inventor? an artist?—and how they might best set forth to benefit the community. Notably, however, not everyone will succeed at their first Q'tskraal, and it's quite common to have to attempt it two or three times over before prevailing; this isn't a shameful thing(!!!), it's simply taken as the kit in question not yet being ready for the responsibility of adulthood, and thus they remain a kit (sometimes even as they age into their seventh decade) until Sa sees fit to grant them victory.

So this transition is one from the role of protected to protector (a great honour!) which of course also encompasses responsibility for one's self: as an adult, no longer can they claim ignorance or foist responsibility upon their elders, as their actions are their own and therefore a reflection solely of themselves. To disown one's child who is no longer actually a child would still cause something of a stir, of course, but it wouldn't be even //remotely// taboo in the way that abandoning a kit would. Now, while zombie-Zarkon was far from a good father, by the time he exiled his son, Lotor had already succeeded in his own Q'tskraal—though not via his father's preferred method of violent subjugation, but more by way of intellect—and was therefore deemed an adult by Imperial society. Although said banishment could never avoid being a talking point, the narrative was meticulously controlled, with the official line blaming the entire thing on Lotor's "impurity of blood" and resultant "weakness of character", so naturally Emperor Zarkon had no choice but to hold his own son to the rigorous standard that he would expect of any imperial citizen.

The particulars surrounding Lotor's childhood, however,,, now those are shrouded in mystery, and believe you me, Kolivan & the BoM as a whole would indeed be o u t r a g e d .

#i bet you didn't think you were getting a galra birthday post did you? and yet here we are #i'd apologise for koli's tragic backstory™ but...... i'm not actually that sorry lmao #Ao3 Little Blade #sa screams back #galra history & culture #prince lotor

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starry-mist · 1 year

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Oh hi. Welcome to my blog.

If you've been following me for more than five minutes, you'll know most of this already, but since there are some new folks, let me introduce myself and what you will/will not find here.

I'm a big (probably an understatement) Hudson & Rex fan. Specifically, I'm a huge Sarah Truong fan and probably one of the OG Charah shippers, but I love all of it. The cast, the scenery, the stories. That being said: I am critical of shit the show does that I dislike, or (more often than not) things that I find particularly problematic. I firmly believe in being appropriately critical of the media I consume (h/t to @farfarawaygirl for the creation of my absolute favourite tag), and it's not always going to be sunshine and roses here. I don't do toxic positivity. If you're looking for "OMG Charah are forever perfection and these characters can do no wrong ever," look elsewhere. I don't do character hero worship. Characters have flaws. They'd be boring AF if they didn't. For example, if you were here for my H&R season 4 journey, which also included a bit of a mental breakdown, you know I will just as easily criticise my faves when they're being...not great...in the same breath as I will gush about how much I love them. I try to keep it real.

Occasionally I reblog stuff from other fandoms, but I have a tendency not to use tags for ships/fandoms that get...shall we say, a little *heated* from time to time (IYKYK.)

I'm "fandom old." AKA I was probably reading/writing fic before many of you were born. Why is this relevant? Because I'm not an "I write fic for engagement and kudos and whatnot" person, I'm more "I write fic because I enjoy exploring characters, and sometimes I'll share it on AO3." Basically: I'm probably way too old for this site, and I'm definitely too old to care about things like clout, or being "fandom famous" or infamous, or whatever the kids are into these days. I write because I want to. I don't engage with "you must interact with creations in this specific way or else you suck" takes. I get that there are people who take that stuff very seriously, and that's cool, you do you.

I write smut. If you can't deal with that, don't read it. I'm not going to apologize for including sex scenes in many of my fics. Tags and ratings exist for a reason, and I will always use them appropriately to ensure readers know what they're getting into.

If you know who I am on other social media, no you don't. Seriously. I keep my fandom life separate from my real life for a reason. Please respect that.

I love engaging in lively debate. I don't block often (unless you're a pornbot, which, if so, GO AWAY.) If I do, it's to protect my peace. If you block me, I assume it's for the same reason, and wish you well, or whatever.

I don't do fandom gatekeeping. It's weird. People engage with different media for different reasons, and expect different things from it, and that's okay.

Anyway. Just felt like putting that out there, in case people are in any way wondering where I'm coming from when I post certain takes, or reblog certain things. Thanks for reading.

#starry rants #fandom things #fanfic things #hudson & rex #be critical of the media you consume

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d34thbr34th · 1 year

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Imo you are completely in the right taking about other nico ships cuz they are toxic and disgusting but it is hilarious you actually like weird abusive shit like solangelo 💀💀

ill start off by saying i dont necassarily need to explain myself to you, but ill take this as a chance to express how i feel about the ship.

i dont love solangelo. i dont hate it either. but you cant call it abusive. its not abusive.

im pretty neutral on solangelo, maybe some fanart i see is cute and ill reblog it, and i sometimes (barely) post hcs, but that doesnt mean im all for what goes on in the community. i know of the ableism that alot of solangelo truthers are desensitized to and promote without KNOWING it.

actually, for a long time i explicitly showed im against solangelo. ive actually once sat down and deleted all the solangelo content on my blog to PROVE IT. ive privated alot of the hcs i came up with as an 11 year old. you can LITERALLY go look in my tags, will solace is waaaaayyyy down. solangelo is practically nonexistent. IVE PUT EFFORT INTO SHOWING WHERE I STAND. seriously?

but now ive grown not to care. i dont hate it, i dont love it. its just eh. if i reblog something solangelo, okay. if i reblog something anti solangelo, okay. at the end of the day its my blog.

when i first entered the pjo fandom i was like.. what? 10 i think? and i found myself in nicos character. i related to him ALOT. i then found out about solangelo and thought it was the cutest shit ever. i reread every piece of media with them. i came up with headcanons. i had a whole ass phase where i was "in love" with will solace. now i realise that i found myself in nico, and seeing him in what seemed to be a happy relationship made me really really happy. now, ive grown. ive reread the series. i KNOW how solangelo is potrayed. sometimes i reblog anti solangelo takes that i agree with, other times solangelo content. its FINE.

now let me explain why i dont like jasico. jason is the first person that nico actually starts becoming friends with, and i find their friendship very sweet. when people tend to turn platonic dynamics into romantic ones it irks me alot. (my same issue with nipollo, even though thats already weird) nico should be able to have friends without constantly being shipped.

i dont like percico because of the obvious age gap, and the fact that nico developing a crush on percy was a major plot point to his arc. it makes his feelings complicated because nicos confused about how he feels about percy. he doesnt know whether to love or hate him, since, well, bianca's death.

i dont like solangelo either, because obviously, its disgusting the way will acts like hes nicos 'savior'. however, will's technically not really his healer. when it comes to mental health and such, will urges nico to talk to dionysos about it. sooooo... u cant really say they have the patient/healer trope, even though in fanon and fanfics it may seem that way

alot of other posts that I REBLOGGED explain this in further detail, if you want me to link some of them, ill go ahead and do that for you. but you shouldnt be asking me to justify why i reblog solangelo shit.

either way, ill redirect you to where user arabnico talks about it, here and here. i completely agree with her takes.

and anyway, the hcs i come up with use the basis of a pretty watered down version of solangelo. i dont keep in mind canon when i think of solangelo. i dont think anyone does, fairly enough. their og characters have been so lost and watered down. heck, i last reread hoo last year.

tldr; im neutral on the ship. jasico sucks because theyre bffs. percico sucks because pedophilia and a majority of nico's tragic arc was based off of liking percy.

i would like to add a final comment: ive previously stated that ALL nico ships suck, INCLUDING solangelo. so idk where this really came from but whatever. have a good day.

#hiding behind anon lol #😒😒#the internet is asss

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tahinnia · 7 months

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✎ : What is your favorite genre to write for in roleplay?

✉ : What’s your favorite genre to read in roleplay?

✘ : Are there any genres you refuse to write for?

✎ : What is your favorite genre to write for in roleplay?

Nothing specific? But I can explain what I like!

I love anything that adds lore and development. Something that you can re-read, look back into. Something that really impacts the character in their "main SL's". This is also why I allow muse requests, I genuinely love to give people a chance to be able to experience actual character development bc this is actually really hard to find anymore. Especially with OC's. May it be for the muse to grow into a better person or grow into a villain.

However, I'm also really good with banter/slice-of-life/etc. I love silliness and chaos as well!

I also admit my obvious guilty pleasure is that I love to write smut and cute ships. Love me some hot kinky stuff that is just not meaningful and just not that deep. Just mindlessly mutually self-indulgent. (However, I also try to be careful and not get too stuck into this bc it sadly can also lead to people not treating me fairly & only see me as a smut writer.)

And believe it or not, as much as I can like a lil' drama or just mindlessly write cute ships just for fun (which is unfortunately also something I need to be careful with bc people are so quick to assume that I "ship chase" while I just am having fun with the other party consenting), my favorite ships are actually the type that super romantic and endearing... The Gomez Addams x Morticia Addams type of romance will always be #1. Especially when ship kids appear, develop, and grow up as well. I seriously root for this, actually! ♥

✉ : What’s your favorite genre to read in roleplay?

I like to add this first: I do read 'em in my breaks or when I just feel like it (even when I'm busy or should be sleeping lmao). I check on blogs manually, if I like them. I will try to ♥ as much as I can bc the attention is what will keep blogs alive. If you want (insert fandom) RP to STAY ALIVE on Tumblr, you kinda gotta motivate others. I also will search or even follow personal tags if the interest is very high so I can keep up much easier.

Anyway, what I like to read: My favorite canon x canon ships (some are rarepairs. I will definitely kinda fixate if it falls in my taste), fun(ny)/cute slice of life stuff, and anything that's like, really high-quality; fanfiction-esque/SL's. Like, I love to read stuff that's like something you'd typically search for on Ao3 or Wattpad!!

✘ : Are there any genres you refuse to write for?

I don't know how to be specific but I'll explain it in my own way: I'm open to a lot but I won't write stuff that's just way too problematic/questionable. It is obvious that I can write dark/heavy/serious themes. But I will NOT write Torture Porn/Trauma Porn, incest, pedo, necro, zoo, etc...

I want to be respectful/sensible and will do my best to be responsible. I want to refrain from portrayals that could harm marginalized groups/victims/etc and I also try to responsibly tag my content.

#☆)) ooc #☆)) askbox

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esperanta-dragon · 2 years

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I am blocked on this blog, because it's Sylvanas stan blog and I am posting a lot about how Blizzard screwed up her character and lore was sacrificed for her redemption arc and her fans are not helping it, so I can't reblog but I can at least reply to you, @fakedoomslayer

I wish all Sylvanas stans (they would be less creepy and would seem more reasonable) were like this and were actually accepting the character as it is without having to break it or make it act OOC to like her. Bless all Sylvanas fans who like her because she is cunning, gray, manipulative, and dark. Bless you. I don't hate you. I am just allergic to people who are breaking her character and writing her OOC because they can't like her as she is.

I am so happy I am not the only one who is bothered by this. "Blizzard did not do Sylvanas justice." "I can write her better." "I love Sylvanas, she is my favorite character." And the same person sits down and writes 1578th fic with her acting OOC as hell.

If you have to alter characters and write them OOC, do you actually still love them as they are? Or do you love the illusion and your version? Then you don't love the character, you created your own.

Maybe that's why I hate Sylvanas so much, because every time I browse into tags with Sylvanas, there are like 100 versions of her, the majority of it OOC, but people keep saying they love her, including: "She is a cute little elf, I love her so much." ignoring she is a genocidal maniac. I had to block Sylvanas tags because it stresses me so much about what fandom is doing with her and it's a constant reminder of what was sacrificed for Sylvanas.

And her ships? Same issue. Oh yeah sure, she would be hitting on both Tyrande and Jaina at the same time and Tyrande wouldn't want to kill her (not kidding, found some tag where these have a threesome and according to the OP, they would not have an issue with that). Jaina too actually. Oh yes, and Anduin, the biggest pacifist on Azeroth, would definitely date her because deep down she is soooo caring and there is a lot of love she can give!" There is no shame in ship but seriously wtf is wrong with you Sylvuin shippers. The only way you can make this work is not to only screw up and totally disjoint one character, you have to do it to both of them and write them OOC, ignore their beliefs, traumas, everything, and create different characters. But you keep saying you know both and love both characters so why not? I tell you why not. If you ship these two, then you DON'T know, you have no clue about the characters. You just wish they were completely different and in that case, you don't truly love them. Then please go and create some OCs instead because you do it anyways.

By the Light, I am so sick of this. Yes, we all started somewhere when we started with writing, but at least do not say that Blizzard fucked up your character and then you proceed to do it on your own in 12 different ways.

That stresses me out. That's why I hate Sylvanas so much and it's the fault of her fandom and Blizzard too for the past 4-5 years. Not only did Blizzard have no clue how to write her but like 10 different people wrote her and you had no clue how she should work because she didn't make any sense for so long thanks to this. Her fandom is an amazing display of people who say they love the character and then they show you they would actually hate her if they would have to accept who she is. And they would not survive it, so they live in their illusion of a nice cute little elf and undead mommy, like victims with Stockholm syndrome, and continue to screw up the character. And this is not only Sylvanas. This is most of the villains, anti-heroes, or grey characters. "But they are good inside, I know it! They are loving and sweet!" Yeah because that's easier to do and break the character because without breaking it you won't be able to ship them with your OC (god bless I am out of this phase of my life) or with another lore character which is completely incompatible. Loving bad guys because they are bad is fine and it doesn't make you a bad person. Don't do this to the characters. They don't deserve it. Or write it if it's your safe space but then do not cry that Blizzard screwed up your favorite character and then you do ten times worse thing to them.

Sometimes I am really happy I love side characters. But last time I was browsing Darion Mograine tag on AO3, I was recovering for a really long time. So I don't want to read anything with Darion, except people I know what to expect, he is really so unlucky to not have an established ship because, boy, when they ship him with so many random characters... boy, ugh, people, stop.

Rant over.

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wawawawawawawawawawawawawa · 1 year

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"ive just seen a lot of ppl #call izaya a sociopath but like. as a Comical Exaggeration #or just as an insult to be disproven" re: ur tags

i don't really go here (drrr!!), but i came across ur blog through a series of events that led me to an ASPD Izaya analysis post that u are connected to. somehow. i dont fucking know man. but like anyways i 100% agree, like have u seen him. Look At Him. i only watched like the first season and havent touched anything else but i can say with 100% certainty That Guy Has ASPD. okay this ask isnt about me telling you i agree with you and others who have that correct opinion, but just wanted to say it.

anyways GODDDD, your tags... i feel that so hard. theres a character im a big ASPD truther for (and its like so obvious. lzaya level obvious), who ALSO gets called "sOcioPatH" and "psYchOPatH" as an insult or joke. and every time im like... "well... no, but actually yes"

no because i can tell you're calling him that to demonize him and seeing as that you are unironically using "sociopath", you obviously dont actually know much about ASPD. but yes because he has ASPD!

AH THE ANALYSIS POST! i can explain: i'm connected to it because the person who wrote it is my fiance, and i'm the mentioned Person With ASPD that he mentions he knows :P

also since im curious: what character?

and i on god HATE it when people use the term "sociopath" unironically its like. im using it because i have aspd, and oftentimes i use it as a derogatory term to draw attention to how derogatory it is. like. i know why i'm using it. why are You using it!

and oftentimes its because they deadass think "sociopathy" is still an actual Thing You Can Be Medically Recognized As and like. bestie. it IS clear u know literally nothing! its like theyre SO CLOSE to getting that the character has aspd but dont actually know HOW aspd works outside of a bullshit stereotype so its only said as a joke and not treated seriously foe actual analysis

im gonna make a comparison here BUT BEFORE ANYONE BUSTS MY BALLS: I AM AUTISTIC. I CAN MAKE THIS COMPARISON. AND EVEN IF I WASN'T, IT'S NOT A THOUGHTCRIME TO IDENTIFY OBVIOUS PATTERNS.

it's like i looked at a very obviously autistic character and kept calling them retarded as a joke. and even though i knew that derogatory term used to refer to an actual thing people have, i refuse to acknowledge the existence of ACTUAL autistic people's ACTUAL experience with autism and how it differs from the VERY derogatory and insulting stereotype of "a retard" and just. kept calling that character retarded because i thought that people with those traits deserved it or something

and then i tagged the post "#tw autism" as like an extra kick in the nuts

but GOD i feel that last paragraph SO hard. its clear ppl notice those traits in him but dont know enough (and dont care to go learn) about the actual disorder. so peoples' real suffering and social ostracization is just a punchline. because "mental health acceptance" ALWAYS has this fucking asterisk of "not you, though" when it comes to (among other things) aspd

its a cruel world out there for aspd blorbo truthers 😔 not only do we have to deal with bullshit ass takes, our backs constantly hurt from the weight of carrying the Correct Opinions 😔😔

#brothers in arms across fandom lines #(unless ur not a guy then its truthers in arms ig 😩)#wasks #fr tell me who it is!! im curious!#r slur tw #<- for That Paragraph

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padfootastic · 1 year

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I posted 884 times in 2022

That's 800 more posts than 2021!

433 posts created (49%)

451 posts reblogged (51%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@padfootastic

@impishtubist

@greyeyedmonster-18

@narcissa-black-supermacy

@that-halloween-gay

I tagged 789 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#sirius black - 299 posts

#pen’s asks - 296 posts

#james potter - 160 posts

#harry potter - 151 posts

#prongsfoot - 90 posts

#pen’s notes - 60 posts

#good godfather sirius black - 58 posts

#pen’s writing - 49 posts

#ask game - 46 posts

#ppb - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#‘it was me’ ‘no pads i pulled u in’ ‘ur cowardly ass could never potter. i leaned in first’ ‘pls as if u you’d ever stop sighing to do that’

My Top Posts in 2022:

anyway.

harry having the giggliest, easy to trigger laugh but the one thing that consistently has him cracking up is his dad laughing. like it’s just a never ending loop, harry would be sitting there on james’ lap, hands on his face, grabbing his glasses, mashing his cheeks together, giggling his little head off—james starts laughing—sets harry off even louder and both of them are just getting progressively redder and gigglier and it’s a riot for no reason.

(lily’s snort-laugh has a similar, if subdued, effect)

(sirius’ very presence supersedes all humor bc the little dude has Very Important Things to talk to him about which means being carried around everywhere, nonstop babbling, and all his attention directed towards one harry j potter. if sirius looks away for one second, harry will find grab his attention again bc he’s possessive like that. u can’t blame him, he only gets his godfather a few times a month ok?)

223 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

okay remember harry’s dreams about a flying motorbike?

one of my dearest hcs is that sirius used to take toddler harry out on his flying bike, particularly when he was being fussy or refusing to sleep.

(a frantic james would mirror call him, begging for help because no one except sirius can calm harry down when he’s in strops like this)

he’d wrap him in a baby sling across his chest, take him high above the clouds, and point out the different stars & constellations w associated myths.

harry would fall asleep in minutes.

in the middle of a war, it was the most peaceful sirius ever felt

(anyone who knew—and when harry finds out post-poa—the first question is always ‘how tf did ur parents allow that?’ but you need only look at the way sirius was around his godson for the answer. he was so painfully tender, so protective that james & lily knew there was no safer place for their kid to be)

237 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

summary: sirius tells harry he’s proud of him and our boy’s brain just. stops functioning. doesn’t compute. (for this ask)

“I’m proud of you.”

Proud. Of you.

Proud.

The word kept echoing in his ears, like a church bell, or a gong, or a siren, or a—

Well. One gets the point.

What one doesn’t get, however, is how to react to that.

Someone—an adult—was proud of him. For the first time, in his entire life.

And Harry didn’t know what to do with that.

Perhaps that’s why he’d beat a hasty retreat to the loo, seeing the befuddled look on Sirius’ face but not being able to do anything about it. He had a freak out to get to.

It had just been an offhand comment, thrown out like it meant nothing, like it didn’t upend Harry’s entire existence on its head.

“What- what did you just say?” he’d stuttered, incredulously, definitely taking it more seriously than intended.

“Er- that I’m proud of you?” Sirius had repeated. Slower. Uncertain.

Harry didn’t reply to that—atleast, he thinks he didn’t. Just remembered the owlish blinking, letting the words sink in, wrap themselves around him like a warm hug that was slightly too tight. One you didn’t want to get out of, but had to, if you cared for your circulation.

And so here he was, still sitting on top of the toilet lid, head hanging between his knees, wishing fervently he had a paper bag to breath into. That- that was a thing that helped, right? He’d heard about it on the radio once.

It wasn’t even- they weren’t even talking about anything serious. Just his grades, for god’s sake. And it wasn’t like—he was Hermione or anything. He knew he didn’t do well, but he got by, and frankly, it had seemed good enough to him, what with the yearly, er, distractions that were thrown his way. He didn’t fail, but he also didn’t die. Win-win.

See the full post

330 notes - Posted March 23, 2022

thinking of toddler harry who’s very, very attached to his godfather sirius (as he should be, really) and gets pissy whenever he goes for work. (yes, sirius is a 9-5er here. suspend all disbelief, folks)

so, to get a handle on the tantrums, sirius dresses harry in his own little formal clothes, robes and over cloak and silver clasp and fake wand holder and all.

‘look, siri, im just like you!’ harry says, every morning like clockwork. once they look absolutely alike, hair combed and tied neatly (little butterfly clips in sirius’ curls, ofc), they set off for the day. sirius conjures a little size-appropriate desk for him that he can sit at, gets him a briefcase and all. when u open it, it has all sorts of colouring materials, beads and strings and charms for DIY, and a little notepad with a pen for Serious Stuff.

throughout the day, sirius gets his work done while harry carefully does his own stuff. whenever he gets too fidgety, sirius sends him out on a ‘mission’—going out and evaluating how the rest of the employees are doing their work. harry, of course, takes his task super seriously and tries to emulate sirius’ Grown Up Face very diligently, walking with his hands behind his back and an adorable little frown on his face. of course, he’s so short he can’t actually see what anyone’s doing but everyone’s accommodating enough that he has enough information to relay it back to sirius in his office.

at the end of the day, both of them take their cloaks off the hanger, simultaneously sling it over their shoulders, and wave a goodbye to the remaining members in the office. when they get home, harry is still meticulously copying sirius’ actions so he neatly sets his shoes to the side, hangs his cloak on the rack, and falls face first into the sofa with an exhausted sigh of relief.

‘being a adult is hard, padfoot,’ is the last thing he says before drifting off to sleep.

392 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Do you ever think about the fact that Sirius and Remus were fully planning on murdering Pettigrew for betraying James and Lily? No reporting it to the Ministry and clearing Sirius’s name, just death. Sirius was already planning on killing Pettigrew for it, and once Remus learned about the Secret Keeper switch, he jumped on the “let’s kill Peter” train immediately, he didn’t even wait for the train to stop, he climbed on through a window.

i’m gonna be honest—the whole thing is just so hilarious to me 💀💀

i mean, i can still get where sirius is coming from ykno? the poor guy was in prison, had his mind basically turned into soup, and then vilified by everyone—no wonder he’s so fixated ykno?

but remus, my god. what a mad lad. i can honestly see where all the feral remus hcs come from bc the dude didn’t need two seconds before he hopped onto the homicide wagon. he was just so matter-of-fact about it too like, ‘oh well, guess there’s no other way than to literally murder the only piece of evidence they have to explain this convoluted mindfuck of a situation.

cares not one bit about the three kids who’ll probably be traumatised—therapy exists for a reason and kids r resilient dw—or how he’ll explain it to the authorities or why they’ll do with sirius after—stash him in the outhouse—like the man had absolutely no reason to be as murderous as he was 😭😭 he’d just found out the truth five seconds ago.

446 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#year in review #tentatively dipping my toe back!!!#i am having a Terrible irl time #which so obv ofc when i turn to my oldest vice #but also just #i’ve not felt the urge to write in so long #and i am. kinda. feeling it now #just little bits and pieces #and i read almost everything in my drafts #and feeling bittersweet per usual #and i just really really really want to finish it and post because i miss this place #well.. not tumblr in general but my little community here #i keep scrolling through my blog and asks and just missing the fuck out of everything lol #look @ me being senti #this was v fun to look at #also losing my absolute mind at how many pen’s asks posts there are????#wtf #did i really get that many asks #and there’s still so many in my inbox/drafts i wanna answer!!!!#if there’s people who’re still here (and all the new followers which—how. why)#then thank u #and hopefully this lasts longer than my last attempt lol #ppb

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moondragon618 · 1 year

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I should probably make an intro post huh

Well here it is ig lol

You can call me Moon or Moondra, and Luna or Lunar is okay too :) My pronouns are they/them, it/its, she/her, + multiple neos which I'll list here:

xey/xem/xeir/xeirs/xemself (this one works like they/them, eg. xey are/xey're)

lun/lunar/lunars/lunarself

moon/moons/moonself

dre/dream/dreams/dreamself

sh:)/h:)r/h:)rs/h:)rself

drae/draer/draers/draerself (this one works more like she/her, eg. That's draer cat, That cat is draers)

dra/dragon/dragons/dragonself

🌙/🌙s/🌙self

🐉/🐉s/🐉self

Feel free to use any of these, and also feel free to ask me about how to use the neos if you're confused :)

I am bi and questioning if I'm aroace-spec, and I'm a genderfluid enby- more specifically I'm fluid between any combination of feminine aligned, neutral/androgynous aligned, and an assortment of xenogenders lol :) I'm fine with any gender-neutral terms and pretty much all gendered terms outside of male/female and woman/man, though I do prefer gendered terms to be used in a lighthearted/joking way rather than seriously lol <3

I'm also (self-diagnosed) ADHD + Autistic and have social anxiety- be warned I'm often very slow to answer asks/reblogs/DMs/etc and that's probably why lmao

I'm currently a dsmp/c!primeboys enjoyer as you've probably noticed lol but my other interests include Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Undertale/Deltarune, the MCU (specifically Irondad lol), Markiplier/Unus Annus, and the Legend of Spyro trilogy (my first fandom <3)

I am also fictionkin- my c!Dream kin tag is ad infinitum :) and my Protegeinnit kin tag is everlasting daydream ❤️

I tag all of my c!primeboys posts with c!prime thoughts so they're easier to find bc I reblog a lot and post rarely lol

Here's a link to my Ao3 and here's my writing tag which has all my fics + me talking about my writing lol

Some AU tags I use sometimes:

Immortal c!Prime (also includes Divine c!Prime where c!Dream becomes a god and makes c!Tommy into an angel)

Shapeshifter c!Dream AU (exactly what it sounds like lol)

Hybrid c!Prime AU (in which c!Dream in an ender dragon hybrid and c!Tommy is a cardinal avian)

Reblogs from my c!Prime RP blogs (@haver-of-wives and @your-eternal-nightmare) will be tagged with rp c!Prime :)

My reblogs will all be fandom tagged except for non-fandom stuff which will just be untagged.

And just to be very clear about this due to Certain Recent Events: I absolutely Do Not support cc!dream in any way.

I enjoy c!Dream strictly as a fictional character. I completely understand if others personally find c!Dream posting uncomfortable and if that's you, then you might want to block me. If you harass me over this, or for not supporting cc!dream, or any other reason lol, enjoy getting blocked on sight <3

As for a DNI, I don't really care as long as you're not on some terf shit, generally just hateful and/or bigoted, super NSFW, or shipping incest or adult/minor ships (p*ppytwit/blr this means you too stay tf away from me istg). Also cc!dream stans will be blocked on sight, and c!Dream apologists I Do Not fucking trust you lmaooo

Oh also I tend to avoid discourse posting but if I do it will be tagged as such. I try to tag for triggering content as well and feel free to let me know if I should tag something. (also be warned that I occasionally forget to tag if I'm doing some late night reblogging and really tired lol. I usually notice it and fix it the next day though)

And don't be alarmed if I suddenly switch fandoms at some point that just kind of happens sometimes lmao

Anyway that is all and welcome to my deranged fandom blog <3

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evies20dollars · 1 year

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I posted 11,509 times in 2022

That's 4,369 more posts than 2021!

56 posts created (0%)

11,453 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@princessrhcenyra

@catradoratwtgoodies

@thefabulousfab-3

@livelovecaliforniadreams

@yourstormthlaylirahh

I tagged 10,821 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#fanart - 1,255 posts

#toh - 1,204 posts

#toh spoilers - 737 posts

#spop - 703 posts

#hunter - 648 posts

#wwdits - 568 posts

#catra - 560 posts

#arcane - 540 posts

#adora - 531 posts

#the wilds - 481 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#anyways i love queer i can denote that i don't fit in the cishet box without having to tell you my specific sexuality and gender it's lovely

My Top Posts in 2022:

I feel like the people who keep saying "stop criticizing the episode, this is the shits and farts show" have a genuine lack of comprehension of the show as a whole. Even if you don't want to criticize it, what happened in this episode was emotional and a violation with deep seated consequences and the narrative KNOWS IT even if these viewers don't.

The way Guillermo asked why he couldn't just have one thing to himself, how irreparably depressed he is after what happens-- it's serious. In the narrative it is framed seriously. Yes, this show is full of farts and shit and dick jokes, but that's not ALL it is and the fans saying to lay off because of it are doing the show as a whole a disservice.

And frankly? Even if it was exclusively a sitcom with no longer story arcs or genuine emotional beats, which it isn't, we'd still have the right to think critically about it and call out misogynistic writing or anything else deserving criticism

310 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

Oluwande: I can't believe you’re literally from St. Augustine and you didn’t tell any of us

Jim: You people already know too much about me

Oluwande: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you’re from St. Augustine

706 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

I’m rewatching Turning Red, but in portuguese for language practice and i’m like 95% sure Tyler shouted “casa comigo!” at his favorite 4Town guy which for those of you who don’t speak portuguese, means “marry me!” so basically what i’m getting at here is we have a classic case of “y yo a ti” and portuguese Tyler is gay

Edit: I've confirmed that is what he says and for anyone who wants to see here you go:

See the full post

985 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Thinking about how Belos not only decided to kill Hunter before he even betrayed him, but specifically manipulated and led him through all the memories that showed how horrible Belos is, how little he cares about Hunter, and would make him likely to betray him even though Hunter expressed as soon as he entered Belos' mind that he just wanted to get out. He didn't go looking to explore Belos' memories, yet Belos deliberately chose to lead him through them and to choose ones to break him. In conclusion, The Collector was right:

1,272 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

4,999 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #2022 tag #the owl house #toh #spop #arcane #wwdits #the wilds #ofmd #turning red

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kittlesandbugs · 1 year

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I posted 2,608 times in 2022

That's 227 more posts than 2021!

233 posts created (9%)

2,375 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kittlesandbugs

@amlovelies

@starrypawz

@revengeofthecis

@ejunkiet

I tagged 2,563 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#queue'd - 1,625 posts

#sidestep - 248 posts

#fhr - 248 posts

#self reblarghle - 210 posts

#chargestep - 209 posts

#finny friends - 185 posts

#riley owens - 184 posts

#thank friend!!! - 170 posts

#nature - 131 posts

#photography - 130 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and all they want is/ just a little more time to find/ the strength they needed/ to set the fear on fire (ooh)/ make it look so easy (ooh)

My Top Posts in 2022:

Time doesn’t heal (AO3 Link) Fandom/Pairing: FHR / Chargestep Word Count: 1838 Warnings: Grief, mourning, little suicide ideation, canon-typical angst Summary: Four people reminisce about the fallen vigilante Sidestep on the third anniversary of the Heartbreak Incident. One person knows she isn't dead.

Los Diablos, CA

2016

"What's with the sudden roster change?"

You bite back a sigh. "I know. You're off on Thursdays. I need you to switch this once and pick up tomorrow."

"Why?" The question is sharp and hard, and not for the first time you wish Sentinel hadn't retired yet. He would have just signed off on it. No questions, no backtalk.

"Ortega needs it. The new secretary forgot about it."

Her scowl deepens. You're getting better at reading her expressions, the more time you spend with her. At least, you hope you are. Sometimes she's as impenetrable as her own mirrored skin.

"Why doesn't he ask me himself?"

"He thinks he doesn't need it." Too stubborn, the both of them. Like someone else you knew. "I know he does."

She cocks her head curiously. "Been through this before?"

"This will be the third time." You glance pointedly at the calendar on the wall.

She follows and her bristling annoyance eases with realization. She nods. "Alright. Fine."

"Thank you."

"Tell Ricardo he owes me one," she says as she turns on her heel and storms out as roughly as she had entered.

"Tell him yourself," you call after her. You don't really care one way or the other if she hears you. Not your job to settle scores.

You wish you had the luxury to get wasted as you know Ortega will, but it's not in your cards as Marshal. Not that your guts could handle it anyway. You kill the lights and lock your office. No time for your own tortured ruminations just yet. You have one last mission to complete for the day.

Maybe you'll manage to find Ortega before he half-drowns himself in a gutter this time.

___

"Did you know Sidestep?"

The question catches you off-guard. Lost in your own head again. Get it together. You straighten, school your expression, and turn towards the voice. A girl, a teenager maybe? A few years younger than you were when you…

Not the time. You shake that thought loose from your head.

"I… no. I never got the chance," you admit. "But I followed her career closely. She really inspired me. Did you know her?"

"Sort of?" Her gaze falls to the bouquet of yellow tulips in her hand. A good choice, you think. Something a little brighter to offset the darkened occasion hanging over the day. "She wasn't Sidestep yet, I think. Dad said Sidestep started a while after. But she saved me when I was little. From some men who tried to take me."

"I'm glad she helped you." Curiosity niggles at your thoughts and you can't quite resist asking, "How do you know it was her?"

"I could never forget her voice. I heard it on the TV. Dad said I had to keep her identity a secret though." She gives you a hard look. "So don't ask me her name."

"I won't." You can't help the smile in the face of her seriousness. "That's very important for a hero. Thank you for keeping her secret."

"Are you a hero too?"

Breaking into this world is so much harder than you envisioned. You and Josh were so stupid back then. So blind. But there's no going back now. You made a first step at least, landing your first corporate gig. A way to get your foot in the door to join the Rangers. A new purpose in a new identity forged for you.

You just need to live up to it now. Always easier said than done.

See the full post

59 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

A little Saturday morning Chargestep sap. 300 ish words, no warnings. Just something I think about a lot. Ortega POV.

You find her in the kitchen, staring into your fridge. You're surprised by what she's wearing, given carte blanche to take what she needed from your wardrobe. But she's always gone for full coverage before, long sleeves and legs. Now a bright white tank top hangs loose on her thinner shoulders, exposing light brown skin and acid orange lines in the illumination of the open fridge. A pair of your Charge boxers, drawstrings cinched tight and hanging low. More skin, and orange down just past her knees, meeting up with the thick old Psychopathor scar running up her calf.

More skin than she's ever voluntarily shown outside the bedroom. It's still dark out, 3 am, street lights creeping in at the edge of the blinds. But it's something and it makes your chest feel tight. She feels safe enough to do this. Be comfortable and casually exposed in your apartment.

She pulls the carton of apple juice from the fridge, uncaps it, brings it to her lips. You stifle your snort. That explains why you've been going through it so quickly, with no extra dishes as evidence. She chugs it down like a desert wanderer who found an oasis, recaps and returns it with a satisfied sigh, and closes the fridge.

"I see you've made yourself at home."

She jumps, spins, swears, and you catch a beam of light reflecting off narrowed silver eyes.

"You said I should, idiot," she grumbles, arms crossed defiantly over her chest, daring you to object.

You can't, any more than you can contain the smile as you approach. It's almost like a dream. You had years of them after Heartbreak, between bouts of depression and drunken hallucinations that couldn't drown them. Until suddenly she was back in your life. Back in your kitchen. She's here, solid and real and warm in your arms, beautiful and bus-haired, tasting like apples and morning breath as you kiss her.

"It's all I ever wanted."

62 notes - Posted July 2, 2022