I made a post the other a few months back about how nice it is to have a character who wants marriage but doesn't want children via gale and I just want to add on to that because I see so many people who draw him as a dad and it gave me a visceral reaction.. I'd never like comment on their stuff because like people are allowed to make their happy endings be whatever they want obviously but I think it bothers me so much because, (and this is really really rampant in the bg3 community worse then in any other Fandom I'm in)

People really don't like these characters a lot of the time? And it shows really poignantly when they see a character have an opinion they don't like and go "he doesn't mean that lol it's just cause he's afraid he wouldn't be a good parent and We know he would"

But would he? Why does him being a good, kind, loving and warm person immediately mean he'd be a good parent?

People project these weird fantasies onto the characters that just absolutely throw in the trash the way the characters are actually written and what makes them so beautiful.

A better example is with astarion, there has been like a billion tiktok videos unpacking it but it's also some thing me and my sister have talked about a lot.

I'd say like 60%, if not more, of the people who claim to be astarion fans think that ascending him his morally good and project this weird dark romance book bad boy persona onto him. Or rather, they literally never see him for more then the facade he puts up.

Those specific Astarion fans hear the line 'I don't know If I want anyone to see me in a sexual way" and plug their ears because that ruins the hot sexed up fuck me vampire they want him to be.

And it, as silly as I know This is, genuinely triggers me to see it.

Again people can enjoy their Fandom, I just scroll on by im not gonna moral police Someones fun but it's like, so very sad to me to see these characters stripped of their personalities and be so fundamentally misunderstood.

Anyway back to the point specifically, seeing people envisioning him as a dad or with children and with their pregnant characters feels like a weird kind of disrespect to me. He uses dialog that is often used by people who don't want kids when explaining that feeling.. And as someone who doesn't want kids I think it makes me feel like a level of my own personal Choice is being stomped.

People who draw gale with kids even tho he has said he didn't want to be A father feels too close to home for me with people telling me I'll change my mind about not wanting kids and I'll get over it.

Anyway tldr I'm just being a piss baby that fans make gale a have kids💁

I am in so much fucking pain and so fucking sick of just SHOVING myself through it.

It’s so bad I can barely focus and all I get is “reminder x x and x is due by ____” at work and “where is” and “when are you gonna” from my business stuff.

I’m TRYING gdi. When you wake up with -453 spoons just functioning is like climbing Everest.

and if one more fucking person comes at me with an are you feeling better yet as if I have a fucking COLD and not a debilitating chronic illness I’m ACTUALLY going to lose my shit.

i normally never make text posts but holy hell loneliness is a bitch

UGHHH GO AWAY. GET AWAY FROM ME. STOP BEING SUCH ASSHOLES, THIS IS WHY I NEVER TALK TO YOU. YOURE FAKE SHIT. WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAVE SOME FUCKING DECENCY.

judgement

....

forever exhausted by people (mostly neurotypical, but some not) claiming to be advocates for for mentally ill people but then easily boiling us down to stereotypes to insult people.

seriously, why is “i think they’re having a manic episode” supposed to be an insult… you really can’t find a definitive answer that’s not ableist. it’s almost the same if not the same as the jokes about OCD that boil it down to being some kind of neat and orderly perfectionist. stop pretending to be an advocate and then using obviously ableist jokes and phrases.

. . . 💭 😴

I'm not like a super uti prone person, but I've now had two in like two months and I am about ready to go feral over it.

I drink a lot of water, I shower just about daily if not every other day.

And it's never been a problem from sex before.

The only thing I can think is because my fiance hadn't showered yet :'T but it's not like he was super mega dirty. He was like one full day without showering and that doesn't seem like it should be enough for my stupid fragile body to catch a uti from.

I have to work but I am currently in the bathroom from uti urgency pain :']

vent warning lol 🙄

lately i’ve been feeling so lost. school, relationships, friendships, family, and just general life is so sucky rn. just been drowning in this unpleasant feeling of inadequacy & low self-worth. i keep disappointing people and myself and it’s so tiring. usually my mental health starts to get a little better around this time of year bc summer’s coming soon yay fun but nooooo this time feels different in a worse way! the depression is becoming not so seasonal. there’s hardly anyone in my life i can open up to abt these feelings, mostly bc the people in my life are the main contributors to them. life lately just feels as if i’ve been going through the motions. it sucks! i’ve been clean from SH for almost 3 years, and even now i still get thoughts of relapsing. to anyone seeing this post, pls let it be a reminder to check on your loved ones and friends, because i really wish there were someone checking up on me right now.

As I much as I appreciate the LN boycott graphics made by players, I wish there were also graphics regarding the racism and colorism in Love Nikki. Especially the dark skin tone suits behind paywall.

stress relief reisuke doodle. i feel like shit rn.

drifting

やめて

what will it take for you to realise… just how much i love you?

in a tiny garden at the end of the ends

i believed that

there would be a boundless miracle…

old yume nikki art because i forgot to post it when i was dumping my other past stuff on this blog