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fragmentedink-archived · 4 years

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Hell to Pay: Part Forty-Eight

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV, XLV, XLVI, XLVII

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: warnings for smut. this was supposed to be a fluffy chapter :( it is fluff lite(Tm)

In the past two weeks Lev had gotten strong enough that Ash had let him out of bed. After Nik slathered Lev in sunscreen, Lev was allowed to float in the pool, hanging onto an innertube and kicking his feet lightly. Nik was treading water in front of him, so Lev leaned forward until he could pull nik close enough to kiss.

Swimming would be good exercise without wearing him out. The last time he’d pushed himself too far, his fever had risen again. No one had been happy with him about that. It’d taken days before they let him do anything again.

“Hi,” Lev said after the kiss, tracing Nik’s cheek lightly.

Nik’s smile was lopsided. “Hi.”

Lev flicked some water in Nik’s face. “I missed your smile,” Lev said, resting his cheek on the inner tube.

“I smile all the time,” Nik replied, splashing Lev back gently.

“Not really,” Lev said thoughtfully. “Not real ones. And not lately.”

Nik wrinkled his nose. “You’re a buzzkill.”

“I know,” Lev said solemnly. “It’s my job.” After a heartbeat, he tugged on Nik’s hair, flattening it. “How’s Amara?” He asked eventually. “You went to see her a few weeks ago, right? Before I got sick?”

“Last I heard she was trying to get pregnant,” Nik informed him.

Lev blinked. “Has she thought that through?” He said after a heartbeat. The words were hard, and guilt ate at him for even saying it. It- it was jealousy, and he knew it.

Nik shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s Amara. She joked about being Cin’s housewife, but who knows.”

“Yeah,” Lev muttered. He stroked Nik's hair lightly. “I wouldn’t think Cin would get behind that.”

“Well, I think for once he’s going to have to be on top.”

“Ew. I don’t wanna know about her sex life,” Lev whined, pushing at Nik’s head in a weak attempt to shove it underwater.

“You dunk like a two year old.”

“I have noodle arms,” Lev complained. “Cooked noodle arms.”

Nik patted his cheek. “You poor, pasty boy.”

Lev hummed. “You went into this knowing I was soft.” He snagged Nik’s hand and kissed the palm. “I’m fine being noodly for now. I’m safe with you, and my magic is stronger than ever.”

Nik hesitated, just a little. “Good.”

“See?” Lev pulled shadows together until he had a flower, which he tucked behind Nik’s ear.

Once again, Nik wrinkled his nose. “That’s gay.”

“I hate to break it to you, but I’m gay, Nik.” Lev tugged on Nik’s hair sharply. “Very gay. And I love you.”

Nik pecked him on the lips. “I know.”

Not the answer Lev wanted, but he wasn’t going to push Nik. Instead he closed his eyes and hummed instead. “How long do you think we have until Cameron needs to feed us?”

The weight of Nik’s chin on his arm was comforting. “About an hour, give or take.”

Lev nodded. “I don’t think I’ll last that long,” he admitted. “I’m getting tired.”

Nik dunked under the water, slicking his hair back as he popped back up. “Then we should probably head inside.”

“Noooo,” Lev whined. “I don’t wanna be inside. I’ve been inside for weeks.”

“Then what do you want to do?”

Lev blinked at him. “Uh. Move on the innertube so I don’t have to use energy to stay afloat?” He flushed. “It’s pathetic just hanging off a floatie for an hour made me so tired, but-” He sighed, and then closed his eyes.

Nik pushed Lev over to the steps. “Well, hop-to.”

Lev wiggled out of the inner tube, and flopped back down in it, laying across it instead. “There. Hopped.”

Nik towed him back to the deeper end. Lev hummed again, flopping a hand around until Nik took it. A low purr built in the back of his throat. He was content to lay there until Cameron came to get them.

---

Amara poked halfheartedly at the pot of noodles. “How do you know when the noodles are done again?” She complained.

Ash looked in the pot, and said, “They’re over cooked.” He dumped the pot out and handed her a new box of macaroni. “Try again.”

“You suck at teaching,” Amara said petulantly. “How am I supposed to know when they’re over cooked?”

“Did you see how those noodles were squishy like that? They’ve been cooked too long.”

“Noted,” Amara muttered. “How do I stop them from getting there?”

“Maybe actually pay attention to them?” Ash arched a brow. “You can check them periodically. You do know how noodles are supposed to feel, yes?”

“No, Ash, I only ate cereal for the past several years,” Amara snipped, before rubbing her face. “Sorry, sorry. Really tried to keep that one in.” She reached for the pot and started pouring fresh water into it. “Do you trust me to make my own coffee?”

“You do realize you can’t drink coffee when you’re pregnant, right?”

“You do realize I dropped every other bad habit cold turkey, Ashwyn, right?”

Ash looked unimpressed. “You say that like I care, Amara. Maybe you shouldn’t have bad habits in the first place.”

“Sorry, Ash, not everyone gets such a cushy life,” she snapped back, before going very quiet. “That wasn’t fair,” she finally said.

“Oh no,” Ash said, leaning against the counter. “Tell me how cushy my life is.”

“I went too far, Ash. I’m sorry.” She folded her arms and glared at the stove. “I’m just- cranky lately. And I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

Ash put his chin on his fist, watching her mildly. “On me? You mean the angel who is helping you after all the bullshit you put him through? Damn right you shouldn’t be taking it out on me. Maybe get your attitude in line before I decide that this is a waste of my time, because believe it or not, you do not hold a monopoly on tragedy.”

He was right and she was being a bitch but- but nothing, she told herself. “Sorry,” she muttered. Rather than have to look at Ash, she ripped open the box and dumped the noodles in the now boiling water. “I’ll try to keep the bitching to a minimum.”

“What’s the next step?” Ash just said.

“Don’t let them clump up? Stirring it.” She grabbed a spoon and poked at the water. “Try not to zone out and get lost in an existential crisis while I wait for them to cook.”

“Good.”

----

Nik managed to shuffle into a pair of deep red sweats and a loose black tank top before disappearing from the bathroom to find Lev planted firmly on his side of the bed hugging Cameron’s pillow to his chest. His lips pursed as he looked Nik over. “Even sweats look good on you,” he said, a bit sulkily.

Despite knowing exactly what he was wearing, Nik felt compelled to look down at his clothes anyways. “Well, duh,” he said, climbing up into the bed next to him. He smacked a kiss on Lev’s cheek. “Everything looks good on me.”

“Yeah,” he said. “But it bears repeating. I like stroking your ego.”

Nik settled into the bed with his hands folded over his tummy. Eyes closed, Nik felt a smile curl on his face. “It definitely likes when you stroke it, Princess,” he said, moving to lightly pinch Lev’s thigh.

Lev squeaked. “Owwwww,” Lev whined, moving to snuggle against him. Lev pressed a kiss to Nik’s jaw. “You’re bullying meee.”

Nik hummed low, a purr sitting in his chest. “You like it,” he said, unapologetically. “And you know it.” He bit down on Lev’s shoulder and grabbed his face to kiss him chastely on the lips. “You like it very much.”

Lev hummed before pulling in for a deeper kiss. “Maybe,” he allowed, pulling back. Nik tried to not jump when Lev put an unexpected hand on Nik’s chest and leaned close for another kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Nik said, a bit faintly.

Nik settled carefully against the bed when Lev rolled on top of him, just a bit more. He pressed their foreheads together. “Is this okay?” he asked.

Nik moved to tug on a lock of Lev’s hair. “Yeah,” he said. “Missed you.” He pressed his nose against Lev’s throat, inhaling his scent. It wasn’t like he had really been all that intimate with anyone lately. Cameron hadn’t touched him since before Lev died, and well, neither had Lev, really.

“It feels like I missed you too,” he said. “Even if I don’t remember it.”

Nik wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he did what he did best and distracted them both with more kissing. There was a very obvious boner pressed against Nik’s leg but Nik wasn’t able to stop himself from shrinking back when Lev’s hand went under his shirt.

When Lev stopped immediately, Nik blurted out, “I’m sorry.”

“Are you okay?”

“I- yeah,” Nik said.. He wasn’t sure if he were telling the truth or not, in all honesty, and he couldn’t explain the growing tightness in his throat. “I’m sorry,” he said, again, feeling the wobbliness in his voice.

Nik couldn’t explain the horrible feeling twisting in his stomach when Lev pulled away from him so his erection wasn’t pressed against him anymore. “It’s okay,” he said, reaching for Nik’s face. He stopped in his tracks when Nik pulled away even more. “We can wait.”

“No,” Nik said, voice rising. “We don’t have to. I said I wanted to.”

Lev blinked at him. “You can change your mind, Nik. It’s allowed.”

Nik’s face felt uncomfortably hot. He opened and closed his mouth several times. “No,” he retorted, sitting up and scrubbing his face harshly. “It’s not. Not with me.” He got up from the bed and damn near ran face first into Cameron coming into the bedroom. “Will you get out of my way,” Nik snapped.

“No,” Cameron said, with that irritatingly mild calm. He carefully eyed Nik and then Lev before coming back to rest fully on Nik. “Everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, I think,” Lev said. “Nik, we really don’t have to have sex.”

Nik growled and tried pushing his way past Cameron once more. “Let me go.”

Cameron needed no further prompting and took a smooth step to the side and let Nik storm past him out to the pool.

It was lit by faint lights, illuminating the clear water. Nik sat on the edge of the pool with his knees pulled up to his chest as he glared at the water and thought about everything and nothing at all.

---

Lev watched Nik leave, sadness and guilt twisting him up inside until he thought it might just crawl right up out of his throat and strangle him. He tugged one of Nik’s pillows into his lap and watched Cameron instead.

Cameron’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “You want to tell me what just happened?”

“Nik and I were... we were making out, and he was okay with it, and then I went further, and he wasn’t, and he got upset when I backed off instead of pushing him.” Lev frowned, tucked his arms around himself. “Did- did something happen while I was dead? Or- is it something else?”

Cameron thought about that, pursing his lips. “A little bit of A, and a little bit of B,” Cameron said, pausing. He eyed Lev. “You know."

It took a second, but Lev nodded slowly. “He’s pregnant,” Lev said quietly. Jealousy rose up quickly, but he shoved that down just as fast. “And he doesn’t want us to know.”

“Mm. And I haven’t had sex with him since before you died.”

Oh. Lev blinked hard, staring at the bed. “I see,” he finally said.

“Yes.”

Lev nodded slowly. “Okay,” he finally said. “We’ll take care of him, then. Right?”

Cameron leaned against the doorway. “Of course. Are you planning on telling him you know?”

That made Lev hesitate. “If he wanted me to know, he would have told me,” he said, as if he didn’t know he was projecting. “He can tell me when he wants to.”

Cameron looked vaguely satisfied. “Good. Do you want to go sit with Nik?”

“Is that wise?” Lev asked. “Should I give him space?”

“If you want,” Cameron said.

“I want to go comfort him,” Lev admitted. “I just don’t know if it’d help or make this worse.”

“Well. Consider what Nik did the last time he got upset and no one comforted him.”

Lev had no idea what he was talking about, but he slid off the bed carefully. “I should go see him then,” he said.

Cameron offered him his arm, so Lev ducked underneath it and tucked himself into Cameron’s side. He slid his arm round Cameron’s waist, and let Cameron help him to the pool.

He pulled away when he saw Nik, and settled on the edge of the pool beside him, bumping Nik’s shoulder lightly with his. He didn’t even say anything, just let Nik lean against him.

---

The next morning, Nik took off, leaving Lev with Cameron. Cameron was being a good sport about it, didn’t even seem to be too annoyed about it. That was how Lev found himself sitting on a piano bench beside Cameron.

“How much do you remember from the books you were studying before you died?”

Lev hesitated. “A little.” He ran his fingers over the keys briefly, reverently, before plinking out a simple lullaby. The first song the book Cameron had gotten him had taught him. “Not exactly classical, but...”

Cameron listened to him as he played it through once more, and then had Lev run through a C Major scale. When Lev stumbled, not as confidant in his ability, Cameron made him try again. And again. And again, until he got it right.

Lev couldn't deny the little spark of pleasure he got when he finally met Cam’s standards. He let out a small purr and leaned against Cameron.

“Can you play me something?” Lev asked before Cam could ask him to play another scale. He gave Cameron a small, playful smile. “I won’t talk this time.”

Cameron lifted a brow, ever so slightly, and then started to play a simple tune. Simple for Cameron, at least. Lev leaned against him, closing his eyes as he listened.

---

Nik found himself walking through Amara’s shitty apartment building to her apartment, only to push open the brand new door and find it completely empty. “Are you serious,” Nik said. “Now she’s gone too.”

He had turned around only to hear a very faint, “I’m back here, St. Nikolas.”

That got Nik to at least wander through the bare apartment until he found her laying on her back where her bed once was. He leaned against the doorframe. “So….. trying for the minimalist look?”

“Cin decided to buy me a house.”

Nik pushed off the doorframe and came over to lay down next to her on the floor. He folded his hands over his tummy. “And the world has not yet ended,” Nik said, solemnly, eyes closing. “How does that bitter taste of your pride feel?”

“It’s stinging like a motherfucker,” she said. And in an even whinier tone, she said, “He replaced my furniture.”

“If it makes you feel better, Cameron replaced like eighty percent of my wardrobe when I moved in.”

“Cameron’s a snob,” she said, bitterly. “Cin’s just trying to take care of me.”

“What a hardship. Poor you.”

“I had a shitty month, let me have my pity party.” After a moment of silence she muttered, “i’m taking cooking lessons from Ash.”

Nik choked on his spit. “Oh stars, why on earth are you learning from Ash. You know he has the same amount of patience as he does eyesight.”

‘Cause he offered,” she said. “Learning to cook was one of his conditions for him helping me get pregnant.”

“Well you could have asked me,” Nik mumbled. “It’s not like I’ve bought you hundreds of dollars on groceries and made you food so you didn’t waste away.”

“Lev was sick and dying and I wasn’t going to bother you.”

“See,” Nik said, folding his hands behind his head. “Excuses are only going to get you enough good graces before I just kick your ass for the hell of it.”

“Do you want me to tell you all the things I have going on right now?”

“I want you to be my friend,” Nik said, irritably. “I don’t see you anymore.”

Amara fell quiet. “I’m having a really rough time right now and things are hard on you too. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

Nik wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he just curled on his side and sidled up next to her. “Life sucks.”

Again, she was quiet for a long moment. “I want to tell you something, but... I don't want you to feel guilty, or... bad for me, or any of that. Shit sucks, but- just- are you in an okay headspace?”

Well. Nik wasn’t too sure if he had ever been in a good headspace, especially the last five months. But he also didn’t want Amara to think he didn’t care about anything other than himself. “Sure.”

“I miscarried last month. That’s why I’m asking Ash for help.” Her tone was flat, perfectly even.

“Oh.” Nik’s voice was very small, especially when he thought about how he was keeping his own… pregnancy from everyone else. He was lying to everyone. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and rested his head on her shoulder. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You know,” She said. “Occupational hazards.”

“Yeah,” he said, faintly.

“My pedigree doesn’t help much, either.”

“Oh who cares about your ‘pedigree’. I’m sure Ash will be able to get you knocked up and will lord it over you for all time.” He closed his eyes. “If I can get knocked up with everything I have put in my body, I’m sure you will be able to, too.”

“I guess.”

“I know.”

----

Cameron wouldn’t be Cameron if he wasn’t so blunt, but Lev was still surprised when Cameron flat out asked if he wanted to have sex. It took Lev a few seconds to process.

“I- uh. Yes?” Lev shook himself mentally. “Yes,” he added more firmly. “I’m sorry, you just caught me off guard. I miss it.”

Cameron lifted a brow. “Well at least we know that hasn't changed.”

Lev flushed deeply. “Was I supposed to?” he grumbled when he didn’t know what else to say.

“You tell me.”

Lev thought on that for a moment, and then decided to take Cameron’s hand instead of responding. “So... sex?” he asked, not quite meeting Cameron’s eyes.

“You didn’t answer me.”

Lev’s bottom lip popped out in a pout. “Change isn’t always bad,” he hedged, before admitting, “But I’m not upset I still like sleeping with you.”

Cameron snorted. “Of course you’re not.”

Lev ran his thumb over the back of Cameron’s hand, and then leaned close and kissed Cameron’s cheek. “I miss our normal,” he said quietly.

The look on his face was neutral enough that Lev hesitated, but Cameron just kissed Lev’s palm gently. After that he started pulling at Lev’s clothes. A purr built up in Lev’s throat, but he just started working on the buttons of Cameron’s black button down.

It didn't take much to get Lev undressed the rest of the way, and Cam herded him back to the bed easily before he took off his pants. Once he was on the edge of the bed, Lev reached for Cameron’s cock, stroking lightly. Cameron leaned forward until he could start kissing down Lev’s neck, sending little shivers down Lev’s spine.

This was something Lev had missed. Cameron's lips on his skin, the familiar weight of him in Levs hand as he tipped his head to the side for Cameron.

When Cameron was fully hard in Lev’s hand, he eased Lev back on the bed. Anticipation had his heart tripping over itself. Lev wrapped his arms around Cameron’s neck, arching his own in offer. The teeth pressed against him were more than welcome. When he tried to press his hips against Cameron, Cameron held him down, biting down just a little harder until Lev went still.

Then Cam flipped Lev over, sliding a pillow under his hips to support them. Unsurprisingly, Cameron took his time, working Lev open like he had all the time in the world while his erection nudged the back of Lev’s thighs. All the while, Cameron’s mouth traced patterns across Lev’s back and shoulders.

Lev gave a small moan as Cameron’s fingers pressed deeper. Cameron’s teeth latched onto his shoulder, even as his fingers went deep as he could. When Lev got tired of waiting, of the careful stretching, he tried to push back.

Rather than let him, Cameron rolled him onto his side. Once again, Cameron’s hands slid along him. Each caress had Lev’s omega vibrating. This was Lev’s alpha holding onto him, kissing the back of his neck, nipping at his skin.

Cameron eventually hitched Lev’s leg up so he could press in, slotted right up against Lev’s back as he bottomed out. When Lev moaned again, eyes half shut, Cameron kissed under his jaw. The stretch was welcome, familiar. It felt like home.

The only thing missing was Nik.

Cameron set a slow, firm pace. Considering Lev had been dead a month ago... it was definitely for the best. With how Cam was holding him, Lev didn’t have to do much but arch against him, panting softly. The hand holding his leg up slid up slowly, until Cameron could wrap it around Lev’s dick.

Neither of them rushed anything. Lev was happy to revel in Cameron’s voice in his ear as Lev himself let out soft, breathy groans. Ever since he’d come back, it’d felt like there was a little distance between him and Cameron. Having this again soothed the tiny bit of worry he had that he’d done something.

It wasn’t until Cameron was knotted in Lev that Cam let him come, stroking Lev to completion. As pleasure washed over Lev, a purr built in Lev’s throat. Cameron wrapped an arm around him, keeping him close.

“I love you,” Lev whispered, eyes closed fully.

“Sleep,” was all Cameron said.

Lev nodded slowly. Expected, really, and the sex had left Lev more than a little exhausted.

---

Nik made it home and he rubbed his face at how tired he was. Maybe he could make it up to Lev… somehow for not sleeping with him the night before. He couldn’t count a single time when he would have done something like that to someone he was in a relationship with. It wasn’t like Nik was just someone to change his mind about sex, but here he was, telling his back from the dead boyfriend that he didn’t want to sleep with him.

Nik wandered the house until he decided to go find Lev, only to find him passed out on Cameron’s knot.

“Oh.”

Cameron looked up from the back of Lev’s neck, but Nik was already turning around and leaving. That of course, did not stop Cameron from coming after him and yanking Nik to a stop. “Where are you going?”

“Why do you care?” Nik muttered under his breath.

“Becaues I don’t feel like telling Lev you disappeared after finding us post-fuck.”

“Why would he care?” Nik said. “I disappear all the time, right?”

Cameron had the audacity to roll his eyes. “You know damn well what I mean,” he said, annoyed. “Come to bed.”

Nik turned back around and walked right back through the house and right back through the front door to get back in his car and drive.

---

Amara put her phone down, sighing softly. “I’ve got to go,” she told Ash. “Nik emergency.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nik took off, apparently. And I've been tasked with finding him.” Amara stared longingly at the pot of mac and cheese she’d finally made correctly. “Can I come back for that? I don’t know when I’ll be home.”

“Sure, but put it away,” Ash replied, already pulling out his phone to text Cameron. “Give me updates about Nik.”

“Yeha, yeah.” She dumped the pot into a tupperware, and fit it in the fridge. “Thanks,” she added, right before ducking out the door.

It took her a couple of hours, but she tracked Nik back to his parent’s territory. When she realized he’d chosen to hide out in a fucking cave, she hesitated. The water was waist high at the deepest, but this was just the entrance. It’d get deeper the further in she went and Amara knew if she stepped foot in it she would freeze up and not move a fucking inch.

With a sigh, she spread her wings, stretching them carefully before she started to climb the walls. She used her wings to keep her balance as she inched along, digging her nails into the stone until she found a rock she could settle on. The water was far, far too close for her liking, but she crouched anyway, looking around until she saw Nik’s hair pop up.

Nik looked startled, ducking under briefly, before popping back up. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for you,” Amara shot back. “You worried your alpha.”

“Doubtful,” he said.

“He sent me after you. He worried.” She patted the rock beside her. “Come on.”

“No.”

Amara scowled. “Fine,” she grumped. “Tell me what’s wrong then.”

“Nothing.”

“Nikolas, I am inches away from water and I want to puke. Tell me what’s wrong before I get bitchy.”

“If you hate water so much, then go home. You’re not needed. You can tell Cameron to come get me if he wants me.” Nik looked like he might duck under the water.

After sucking in a slow breath, she said, “I’m here, and I’m not leaving you alone. Talk to me, please.”

Nik watched her, his face almost closed off. He looked tired, and she didn’t blame him. “You don’t need to be worried about me. You have your own shit to deal with. I’ll be fine.” The smile he fixed on his face was far too bright to be real. “See? I’m not even drinking.”

“Yeah, and you’re hiding in your depression cave again.” Amara sat up straighter, wrapping her arms around herself. “Talk to me, Nik. Unless you want me to go first.”

Nik frowned, but at least that was a real reaction. “This is not my depression cave,” he said.

“Hm.” Amara wrinkled her nose. “You’re dodging my question.”

Nik ducked under the water, staying under long enough Amara grew nervous. Finally he popped back up and said, “I already gave you my answer.”

Amara closed her eyes. “Fine. I’ll just wait here then.”

“You do that.”

Nik started swimming again, so Amara settled down to wait him out, keeping her eyes shut tight. Maybe if she pretended hard enough, she could ignore that she was in a cave flooded with water.

Eventually he crawled out of the water and took her hand. “Come on.”

Amara looked down at the water. It’d gotten more shallow, but... “Um. The tide can go out a little more, can't it?”

“I mean, we can, but we’ll be here a hell of a lot longer.”

Amara hesitated visibly. “You can’t carry me,” she said. “And I- I don’t know.”

Nik waited patiently until she was able to unfold and step in the water. Just that had her freezing up, grabbing at Nik for support and holding her phone up above the water, even if her feet touched the ground. NIk tugged her along carefully.

By the time they reached the entrance, she was trembling. Without letting go of his hand she broke into a sprint, dragging him through the last of the water until she got halfway up the beach. Only then did she stop, breathing hard.

“You didn’t have to go in there,” Nik said.

Amara shot him a glare, before pulling him into a hug. “You needed me.”

Nik was trembling too, and she hated it. “Well you don’t need me,” Nik said, voice just as shaky. "You’re not the selfless one in any relationship.” He pulled back, eyes bright. “Except maybe with your sister, but she doesn’t count. So stop reminding me that I’m a shitty person, I get it.” With the last two words breaking, Nik started across the beach towards the city.

“Nikolas. Nikolas.” Amara followed after him. “Like hell I don’t need you. You think best friends grow on fucking trees?” She grabbed his hand, jerking him to a stop. “You’re not a shitty person. Who the fuck told you that? I’ll beat the shit out of them.”

Nik yanked his hand back. “I’m the one who said that, so you’re going to have to beat me and you can’t do that, can you?”

“Not today I can’t,” she shot back. “What got your panties in a twist, Nikolas?”

“We both know I don’t wear panties.”

“Why the fuck is Cameron sending me after you like you’re a lost puppy, Nik? Why aren’t you with your mate?”

“Because I can’t sleep with him,” Nik shot back, before continuing up the beach.

Amara blinked several times, before hurrying after him. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You asked.”

“Why does it matter if you can or can’t sleep with my cousin, Nik?” She fell in pace beside him. “Sex isn’t your only selling point.”

“Look at me. Sex is my only selling point.”

“Not to Lev, you idiot.”

“No, of course not to Lev. But Lev is a blind idiot sometimes. Lev believes in fairy tales, and fairy tales don’t exist.”

“I mean I can call him and ask him exactly why he loves you, but you’re too bullheaded to believe it even from the overly honest horse's mouth.”

“Honesty isn’t the same as idealism, Amara.”

“Nikolas, you’re an idiot.” She stumbled over something in the sand. “Would you stop? Stop running away and stop deflecting.”

Nik caught her before she face planted. “I’m not running,” he said. “You need to learn how to walk.”

“I was talking about how you hid in a fucking cave.”

“I didn’t hide.”

“Did you even tell Lev you were leaving?”

“Will you Shut up?” Nik yelled. “Lev is fine. He’s with Cameron. Cam’s not going to let him die again.”

Amara snapped her mouth shut, pulling to a stop. He matched her halt with the same abruptness, and turned around.

“How did you know where I was?”

Amara shrugged uncomfortably. “Cameron asked me to find you, and you needed me. I just knew. Sort of. The direction, anyway, until I found the cave.”

“Fine. Hotel’s this way.” He continued to storm off, leaving Amara to trail behind him.

Amara trotted after him, willing to take the minor success. At least he wasn’t telling her to fuck off. Yet.

It turned out that he had a room already set up, and the staff seemed to recognize him. A small smile tilted up on Nik’s face as a slight black haired woman came instantly up to Nik and just pinched his cheek. “You’re dripping water everywhere, mi’jo.”

Nik kissed her hand. “Is my room ready?”

“Of course,” she said, pulling him into a hug. Nik nearly melted into the woman that was a solid head shorter than him. When she pulled back, she looked Amara over and gave her a firm look, but said, “I’ll bring you dinner, as well.”

Amara blinked, looking between the two. She stepped closer to Nik, just a little, and took his hand. Maybe it was a little bit of posturing, but she got a small look of approval, so maybe it was a good thing.

The woman kissed Nik’s cheek and then sent them on their way. Again Amara just trailed after Nik, clocking his visibly better mood as she clung to his hand. She only let go once the door to the room was shut.

Nik flopped on the bed. “Dinner should be up in about ten minutes. I hope you haven’t eaten today.”

“No,” Amara said mournfully. “Ash was teaching me how to make mac n cheese and I only made one edible pot. I left it behind to come find you.”

“How basic,” Nik said, matching her tone.

“It was boxed mac n cheese too,” she grumbled, landing on the bed beside him.

Nik patted her knee. “See, if you had me teaching you,” he said, “you’d be learning real, tasteful food. But no, you had to learn from the blind white boy. I bet it was as awful as I think it is.”

Amara muttered under her breath before saying, “I didn’t get to taste it, thanks. And if you wanna teach me so bad, do it. I’m unemployed and have nothing better to do.”

Nik threw his arm over his eyes. “Like you’d actually listen,” he mumbled under his breath.

“If you don’t want to you can just say that. I spent all day with a snippy Ash, I don’t wanna hear it from you too,” Amara said.

“Did I say that,” NIk snapped, glaring at her from under his arm. “No, I did not.” He sat up and stalked over to the towels and started drying his hair. “If my attitude is so bad, then you can leave. I am not holding you here against your will, for fucks sake. Let Cin go lick your bruised ego. I’m tired.”

Amara stared at him for a long moment, propped up on her elbows. “I don’t want to leave you alone,” she admitted. “Look, we’re both cranky, but- I don’t want to leave.”

Nik shot a dark look over his shoulder at her, but started undressing out of his tank top and let it fall to the floor. “”Yeah? News to me,” he said, moving to the dresser and rummaging through it. He grabbed another white tank top, but froze when his focus shifted to the mirror over the dresser.

Amara got to her feet. “I’m sober Nikolas. I have been for four months. I wasn’t nice before I stopped drinking nonstop.” She hesitated, and walked up behind him. “You okay?”

Nik touched his stomach. “Nooo,” he said in a small voice, and then, to her horror, he started to cry.

“Ah fuck,” she mumbled, and pulled him in a hug. “C’mere.”

Nik all but melted against her, crying into her shoulder. She petted his hair.

“Hey. It’ll be okay,” she promised.

“It’s not,” he said, somehow crying harder. “I can’t keep not saying anything when I’m showing.”

“Sure you can.” she tried. “You don’t owe anyone anything.”

Nik didn’t say anything and just wiped his face before moving back over to the bed and curling into a ball. Before Amara could follow him, there was a knock on the door. She opened it, only to find the woman from earlier there with a tray piled high with food. When she saw Nik was crying, however, she all but shoved the tray at Amara and went to check on Nik.

Amara carefully settled the tray on the dresser and looked back at the bed. The woman was whispering to Nik in Spanish, petting his hair comfortingly. Amara picked up on some of what she was saying; she wasn’t fluent, but after being best friends for so long she had to learn the basics.

Instead of eavesdropping, she turned back to the food. She took a bite, and then gave a small groan. “Stars that’s good,” she exclaimed, before looking back at them guiltily. “Sorry.”

Nik flinched a little.

“Fuck. Right. Ignore me, Nik. Go back to crying. According to Lev it helps.”

To Amara’s surprise, the woman got up, only to smack Amara with a spoon. “Watch your language,” Amara was told.

“Yes ma'am,” Amara promised automatically.

She was given a firm look, but Nik was already the center of attention again. Amara went back to nibbling, slowly starting to realize how hungry she was. When she was told to bring a plate, she did, and sat down to watch the woman coax Nik into eating.

“Do you want me to leave?” Amara asked Nik lightly.

Nik took a bite now that he was sitting up. “No,” he mumbled.

Amara nodded slowly. “Then I’ll stay.” She grinned at him just a little, as she settled on the bed, tray on her lap for easy access. “Saint Nikolas.”

---

It was several hours later that Amara managed to get home. The house felt… large, and empty. Amara put the mac and cheese away, and tracked down Cin. Her hybrid was sprawled on their new bed, wings spread far enough they brushed the floor.

Amara settled herself on his back, tucked between his wings, and sighed.

“How was the cooking lesson?”

“Well, I didn’t learn anything you can eat,” she said tiredly, shoving her face in his neck. “But I made some mac n cheese.”

“Can I try some?”

Amara moved off so he could roll over. “I don’t know if you want to. Dairy and grains. Your insides would never forgive you."

Cin ran his fingers through her hair. "Worth it, if you've made something edible."

"Mmm. No. I'll get Ash to teach me to make something you can eat." She bit his nose. "Look, I'll even text him now."

Cin took the phone from her and chucked it across the room. "No. You're mine now. You've been running around for days. I want your attention." He tugged her closer, snuffling against her neck until she laughed. "You've been too stressed lately."

Amara huffed, settling against him. "Things will settle eventually."

Cin hummed, the sound becoming a rumbling purr in his chest. "Yes. They will."

They had to be.

Tagging: @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @lil-miss-red @halstudies @littleyellowdinosaur @caelisis

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #wip boost #hell to pay #ch: ash #ch: nik #ch: cameron

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chickensarentcheap · 4 years

Text

Sanctuary -Chapter 16

Fandom: Extraction, Tyler Rake

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @valkyrie-of-the-light

If anyone wants to be tagged, please let me know. I know there’s quite a few reading this ;)

Warnings: none really. Maybe some bad language.

“You're a natural,” Esme comments the next morning, as she and Nik lounge on a park bench; Yaz keeping the kids busy and laughing hysterically over his antics on the playground equipment.

They've all become restless being cooped up in the house with nothing more to do than count down the hours and minutes before Tyler leaves for Ireland. Opting to head into town for a late breakfast and some window shopping before taking the kids to burn off some of their excess energy. Tyler and Ovi had been gone for better part of the morning and wouldn't return to some time in the early afternoon; time at the shooting range, lunch, and long overdue talk about his expectations for the teenager while he was gone.

“I've never been told that before,” Nik laughs, as Declan bounces happily on her lap; tiny feet planted on her thighs, hands on her shoulders, her own resting on his hips to help keep him steady. He's a cute little thing: strawberry blond hair (inherited from Tyler's mother), huge, brilliant blue eyes, and quite possibly the most adorable smile and giggle she's ever seen or heard. Out of the four, he'd been the biggest: an impressive nine pounds, ten ounces. “Normally I'm told how uncomfortable I look.”

Nik remembers when Tyler had to actually teach her how to hold Millie. Back in nursery in that little apartment in Australia. How nervous she'd been when that impossibly tine baby had been placed in her arms. Never had she held something so fragile. Helpless. Priceless. A little human being that depended solely on her to keep them safe.

She's perfectly content being 'Auntie Nik'; she can spoil them rotten and love endlessly on them yet hand them back to their parents at the end of the day. With each passing birth, she's gotten more accustomed to the actual nurturing parts. She can feed them. Burp them. Bathe them. Clothe them. And is now able to successfully change a soiled diaper without promptly vomiting.

“You don't look uncomfortable to me,” Esme says, as she adjusts the snap closure on the back of Declan's baseball cap and then slips it back onto his head. “And he obviously doesn't think so either. Look how happy he is. He adores you.”

As terrible as it sounds to even to Nik's own ears, Declan is her favourite. He's vibrant and full of life; always smiling or giggling and very rarely crying of fusing. Infinitely curious. Simply loving life and everyone and everything in it. The twins rarely bother with her; they're head strong and wild, whereas she's very strict and routine orientated. Millie is a character all on her own. Five going on fifteen, full of sass and attitude. Never backing down from a challenge and very rarely showing any signs of fear. Very much her father's daughter. Right down to the bad habit of immediately distrusting others and shutting them out.

“You're a strong little thing,” Nik says to the baby, laughing and wriggling away from the hands that try to latch onto her sunglasses. “You're going to be walking in no time, I think. Those are some powerful legs you've got there! I remember when you were still in your mommy's belly and you would kick her hard enough to make her cry sometimes.”

“There were a couple times he nearly brought me to my knees,” Esme recalls, shaking her head in disbelief. “Like he would just get all that power into that one kick and just let me have it. If Tyler was lying up against me, it would even wake him up sometimes. All the kicking and the rolling around. You've just never sat still,” she addresses her son, tickling his stomach. “Always on the go! Even then. You never wanted to settle and now look at you. Still going about with your nonsense.”

“You're going to grow up and be big and strong just like your daddy,” Nik says. “You'll be able to put your older brothers in their places, that's for sure. And you'll be able to protect your sister from any mean boys in the neighbourhood. Or beat up any boyfriends that don't treat her right.”

“Boyfriends,” Esme laughs. “Bold of you to assume that Tyler is ever going to let her date.”

“Is he still bent out of shape over that? He's probably just worried because he remembers what he was like when he was a teenager. He doesn't want her bringing him any boys like him.”

“I can imagine how my dad would have reacted to me bringing Tyler home. That would not have gone well. I'm the first girl after three boys. He would have taken one look at Tyler and the hair and the tattoos and promptly kicked him out of the house. Trust me, that is not what he wanted for his daughter. Someone with an edge. He would have taken one look at him and that would have been it. I love my dad, but he definitely would not have approved. He would not have even given it a chance to get to know him. My dad had a certain vision for how my life would go. And a guy like Tyler was not part of that vision.”

“What kind of guy was he hoping for?”

“None, preferably,” she laughs. “He wanted the white-collar type. Boring. Simple. Vanilla. And as you already know, there is absolutely nothing vanilla about Tyler. In any aspect of his life. He's a little...”

“Wild?” Nik offers.

“Edgy. Dark. Dangerous. Fearless. A mystery. The type my father definitely did not want me to end up. I think once he realized I wasn't going to give in and stay away from him, he would have come around. Even teenage me would have been unable to stay away. I can't explain it. What exactly it is. But I felt it in Dhaka. Maybe I even felt it when I walked into his place in the outback. There was something different about him. Something irresistible, despite your brain and your heart telling you to just walk away. It was impossible. In Dhaka. I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to stop it.”

Nik completely understands. She'd felt it too; the minute she'd met him a little more than ten years ago. He’d been a challenge. An enigma. And she hadn't been able to stop going to his bed even though she'd known he'd never want her for anything more than that. No matter how many times he told her, no matter how many times he insisted that he'd never want anything more, she'd held out hope. And sometimes she still did.

She hates how it still makes her feel; the bitterness that eats away at her when she sees them together. It’s been a little more than five years and it is still so hard. To accept the way things are. Even when it’s so blatantly obvious how happy Tyler is. How much he relishes and thrives on being a husband and a father. How it has brought out a light within him; a sense of peace and contentment that had been absent from his life since his son died, and his first marriage disintegrated. And she should be happy about that. That he’s far removed from the Tyler Rake that existed in that little shack in the outback. That he’d given himself the chance to actually be happy; that he’d let someone break down those walls and show him what it is like to be wanted and loved. But it’s difficult. He hadn’t wanted that person to be her. And now she had to sit back and watch as his life went on. A spectator to just how wildly and crazily in love he is with someone else.

“Have you given it much thought?” Esme asks. “About having your own family?”

“I have a family. I have Yaz. The team. All of you.”

“You know what I mean, Nik,” she sips at a takeout cup of piping hot ginger and lemon tea; a rather potent smelling concoction that she swears help calm her stomach and her bad nerves.

“I’m a much better Auntie than a mother. I’m too selfish. I enjoy what I do too much. I like being able to come and go as I please. Nothing tying me down. No one I have to answer to. That kind of life was never meant for someone like me.”

“Six years ago, you could have said the same thing about Tyler. That this kind of life wasn’t meant for someone like him.’

“That’s different. He wasn’t allowing himself to have this life. He hated himself too much. He was a mess and didn’t want to bring anyone else into it. But he thrives on this kind of existence. And he needed it. The stability. Someone to come home to. Kids that love and idolize him. Things that give him a purpose. Could imagine where he’d be if you’d never come along? He would have let himself die that day on the bridge. I’m sure of that.”

“Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago,” Esme sighs. “And then there’s other days where it seems like it was just yesterday. I’ve made peace with it. I’ve put it behind me. But sometimes…I don’t know…sometimes it just creeps up on me. Something just brings it back to the surface. I try not to let it get to me. But it’s in there. I can feel it.”

“You’re probably just on edge because he’s leaving,” Nik suggests, as she places the baby down on a blanket that lays spread out at their feet, then accepts the cup of coffee that Esme had been babysitting for her. “Are you feeling okay? The way you’re drinking that stuff, you’re not…”

“Oh my god no. There is no bun in this oven. Not yet anyway. It is definitely just bad nerves. And stress. I am so stressed, Nik. Not just about this. This is just the icing on the proverbial shit cake.”

“Talk to me. What’s going on? Are things okay with you and Tyler?”

“For once, it actually has nothing to do with him. I mean, other than the fact he’s leaving in eight hours and I have no idea when he’ll be back. If he’ll be back.”

The word ‘if’ hangs heavily in the air. It’s always a possibility that things will go to hell. That the job won’t go nearly as easily and seamlessly as hoped. It very rarely does. And there’s always that possibility that this mission may be the last one. That one bullet in the chamber with your named etched on it.

“It’s just stupid stuff,” Esme continues. “It’s Millie and the way she regresses like she does. It’s my parents and the fact my stepdad has been cheating on my mom for years and now they’re not even living in the same house. It’s my brothers and their relationship drama. And my sister. She’s met this guy and she’s dropped out of college and no one knows where the hell she is. And then there’s the ex husband.”

Nik arches an eyebrow.

“I guess he’s been friends with my mother all this time. Since things fell apart. And she had the nerve to tell him where I was. Address and all. He showed up at the house, Nik. When I wasn’t even there. He actually spoke to Tyler.”

Nik smirks. “And he lived to tell about it? Maybe Tyler is starting to slip.”

“He should have just killed him. No one would miss Mark. Not even his own parents. Well maybe my mother would. How screwed up is that? That she’s stayed friends with him but she hates Tyler? That she holds Mark up on some kind of pedestal but treats Tyler like he belongs in the gutter? It makes no sense.”

“She has it in her head that he took you away from her,” Nik reasons. “One day you left and never came back. You said you were going on a business trip and then you’re calling to say that you’ve met someone and you’re staying in Australia.”

“It was nearly six years ago. She needs to get a grip. He’s my husband. Whether she likes it or not. And he’s the father of my kids. Her grandchildren. You’d think that would mean something to her. He’s not a bad guy. You know that, Nik. He’s a big, strong man with an even bigger heart.”

“With the right people,” Nik stresses. “That’s the important thing here. Only with the people that he allows himself to be that way with.”

“It’s just so frustrating. That she just can’t give him a chance. Even if it’s just for the sake of her grandchildren. He went to see her the other day. She called him and asked him if he would drive up. Said they needed to talk,” she rolls her eyes at the last part, sips her tea.

“About what?”

“Who knows. Tyler came home and never even brought it up. And I know better than to ask. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past five and a bit years, is hat it’s better if you just sit back and let him decide when he wants to talk about things. You know what he’s like. He likes to keep shit in.”

“Until he snaps and it all comes out.”

“Exactly. Which I’ve pointed out many times and you can imagine how well that went. He’s so stubborn! So goddamn stubborn and it drives me absolutely insane.”

“Well…” she grins, and playfully digs her elbow into her friend’s side. “…now you know how he feels when it comes to dealing with you.”

“I am nowhere near as bad as him. Nowhere.”

“I’ll give you that. But you’re both horribly stubborn and you’re both enormous pains in each other’s asses. But it works. In its own way. Neither of you could live without the other. I’m one hundred percent sure of that. And he’s going to be okay,” she reaches out to rub her friend’s shoulder. “He’s going to come home. To you and the kids. I promise you. We’ll make sure of it. And I know you hate me. For putting him in the situations I do…”

‘I don’t hate you, Nik. I could never hate you. And you don’t put him in anything. Tyler manages that all on his own. If anyone is an expert on getting himself caught up in wild and crazy shit, it’s him. I just wish…” her voice trails off, a frown curving her lips as she lays a hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun and peers into the distance. “…what the hell?”

“What?” Nik turns her attention to what has caught her friend’s eye. TJ wandering away from the playground, towards a stranger waving to him from a cluster of bushes and trees fifty meters away. “Yaz!” she yells at her brother, whose completely oblivious as he busies himself pushing Mille and Tanner on the swing. “What are you doing?! You’re supposed to be watching that one too!”

“It’s okay,” Esme assures her, and hands her the cup of tea. “Tyler’s fine. He won’t hurt him. He doesn’t hurt kids. Only women.”

“You know that guy?”

“Unfortunately,” she sighs, and slips her feet into her flip flops. “That’s my ex husband.”

***

“Tyler James Rake Junior!” Esme bellows, as she stomps across the grass, to where her son is immersed in conversation with Mark. As if they’re long lost friends. “Just what in the blue hell are you doing?!”

“We’re talking about football,” her son informs her. As if it’s perfectly natural to be making friends with complete strangers. “But real football. Like daddy likes. Not the stupid NFL.”

“You do not just go wandering off like that,” she scolds him, dropping to one knee in front of him, hands on his shoulders. “How many has daddy and I talked to you about that? That you stay where we can see you? That you just don’t go off on your own?”

There are many reasons for their warnings. And their worries. Yes, there’s a lot of unsavoury and sketchy people out there that are just waiting to take advantage of a child. But there’s also the possibility of there being someone out there just waiting to exact revenge. It is a strange way to live: always looking over your shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it’s the nature of the beast.

“He’s fine,” Mark pipes up. “I wasn’t going to hurt him.”

She ignores him and continues to address her son. “What did daddy tell you? About never taking off like that? About never talking to strangers?”

His chin falls to his chest, a pout curving his lips. “That I should always be where someone can see me.”

“You scared me. And Auntie Nik. Don’t go wandering off like that, okay? What if something happened to you? Mommy doesn’t want to lose you. She loves you way too much. Come here…” she draws him into her arms, a hand on the back of his head as he snuggles his face into her shoulder. “…I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. But you scared me, Tyler. Please don’t do that again, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees with a sniffle, and when he pulls back, she uses gentle fingertips to clear the tears off his cheeks and the sides of his nose. “I’m sorry, mommy. But it’s not a stranger. He’s my friend.”

“No. He most certainly is not. He’s not your friend.”

“But he came to the house and said he knows you and he talked to daddy.”

“He is not your friend,” she stresses.

“Everything okay?” a breathless Yaz inquires as he arrives on the scene. “I’m sorry, Esme. I just looked away from him for less than a minute. I was caught up with the other two and I just glanced away and…”

“Everything’s fine,” she assures him, wiping grass and dirt off her knee as she stands up. “He’s okay. A little too fearless, but okay. Can you take him back?”

“I want to stay with you,” her son argues, and wraps both arms around one of her legs.

“Who are you?” Yaz addresses Mark. No chill. Just straight to the point.

“I’m Mark,” he steps forward and offers a hand.

Yaz looks at his hand, then straight in the eye, and then back to the hand again. Giving a derisive snort as he turns to Esme. “Mark, Mark? As in…?”

“Just take him back to the others,” she says, and pries loose little fingers from around her thigh. “Go with Uncle Yaz,” she speaks to her son. “He’ll take you down to see the ducks and the geese. Mommy will be there in a few minutes. Can you do that for me? Go with uncle Yaz to feed ducks?”

He nods, and she takes his little face in her hands and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“You’ll be okay?” Yaz asks. “If you need me to stick around…”

“I’ll be fine.”

He nods, then looks at Mark. “Just so you know, I know about fifteen different ways to kill someone without leaving any evidence behind. And my sister knows about five times more than that.”

“I’m not here to cause trouble,” he promises. “I’m just here to talk.”

“Yeah…sure you are…” Yaz mutters, and then takes TJ by the hand and hauls him off back towards the playground.

****

“He’s a little cutie,” Mark observes. “Looks nothing like you though. None of them do.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Esme hisses. “First you show up at my house and talk to my husband, now you’re following me around and talking to my three old? Are you following me?”

“You never called,” he attempts to reason. “I gave your husband my business card and he said he’d tell you to give me a call and…”

“He should have just punched you in the throat and threw your ass in a shallow grave. And believe me, he’s more than capable of doing it. And much worse things. What do you want? It’s been eight years. No contact. Exactly the way I like it. And all of a sudden you just show up out of the blue? Are you unhinged?”

“I’ve kept in touch with your mom. She’s the one who told me where to find you.”

“Oh, I know. And believe me, she’s going to be on my shit list for a long time. What do you want? Why are you showing up at my house? Why are you following me to a park and watching me with my kids? Do you realize how creepy that is? That you’re just hanging out watching us and talking to my son? That is creepy as fuck and that is a line you never should have crossed. My son, Mark? Are you serious right now?”

“You’re making way too much of a big deal out of this, Esme. I guess some things never change, huh? You still overreact.”

“Don’t even try that with me. I’m not the same person I was when I let you get away with all your crap. So don’t you dare try and gaslight me. For once just own up to your own shit. You never should have kept in contact with my mother and you definitely should not have shown up at my house. You talked to my husband? Like, seriously Mark?”

“He’s a nice guy. Not nearly as intimidating as he looks,” her ex smirks. “He’s a big boy, huh? Strong as hell.”

“Why don’t you show up at the house again and try your bullshit on him and you can see just how strong and intimidating he can be? I honestly would like to see that. I’d like to see him just hand you your ass. You have no idea what he’s capable of. And I don’t think you really want to find out.”

“I’m not underestimating him. I’ve heard the stories. They’re out there if you know the right people. I definitely would not want to get on his bad side. I heard what he did to those guys back in that apartment in Dhaka. I thought maybe it was all just a bunch of bullshit. Did he really kill a guy with a garden rake?”

“I’m not indulging you in this. I don’t care what you’ve heard. I don’t care who you’ve heard it from. You had no right going to my house and talking to him. And you definitely had no right coming here and talking to my son. How low are you willing to stoop? How much further down into the gutter are you willing to go? That is my child, Mark. My three-year-old. And you’re out here luring him away like some pedophile.”

“I was not luring him away. He saw me and wandered over to talk to me. That’s it. I would have never hurt him, you know that.”

“Because you only hurt women, right?” she crosses her arms over her chest. “Just tell me what you’re doing here. Why do you want to talk to me so badly? Can’t you just go back under whatever rock you’ve been living under for the past eight years? I have a life. One that doesn’t include you. I have a husband and kids. Can’t you just let me be?”

“I just want to talk to you,” Mark assures her. “I’m not here to cause problems. I just want to talk.”

“About what?”

“Can we go and sit down somewhere? Get a little privacy?”

“You either talk right here or not at all. I’m not going anywhere with you. So talk. Whatever you have to say, just get it out.”

His eyes narrow as he looks over her shoulder. “Your friend is staring at us.”

“That’s Nik. And she’s probably going through all the different ways she can kill you. You wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley, either. Stop trying to change the subject. What do you want? Why are you here?”

“To talk.”

“I got that already. About what? You’re testing my patience, Mark.”

“First things first…” he reaches into the breast pocket of his golf shirt and plucks out a small, sparkling and shiny object, offering it to her. “…you left it behind.”

The engagement ring he’d given to her many years ago. When things had seemed normal. Perfect. When she’d been convinced she’d found the love of her life and she’d wanted nothing more than to devote her life to him.

She slaps his hand away. “You’re lucky I didn’t shove it up your ass or down your throat. What is wrong with you? Why would you bring that? If I didn’t want it then, why would I want it now?”

“Well I noticed you don’t wear one, so…”

“So you thought I’d just take that one back and wear it? You really are a delusional, arrogant prick, aren’t you. You’re not part of my life anymore. You haven’t been part of my life in eight years. And I was perfectly fine with that. I don’t want your ring. I don’t want you showing up at my house. I don’t want you talking to my husband or my son. You’re messed up, Mark. You have serious issues. You need to just go. Go back to whatever cave you’re living in and…”

“Denver,” he interrupts. “I live in Denver now.”

“Oh, how convenient. Considering you hated Colorado when we were together. Well go back to Denver, then. Go back there and leave me alone. Leave us alone.”

She attempts to turn on her heel and walk away, but he captures her by the wrist and turns her around to face him.

“Don’t…” she warns, and yanks her hand out of his grasp. “…ever touch me like that.”

He releases her and then holds his hands up in surrender. “Just give me a chance, okay? Let me just explain what I’m doing here. It’s just to talk, I promise. There’s things I need to say to you. To get off my chest. Will you let me do that?”

She crosses her arms over her chest once again, head cocked to the side as she waits for him to continue.

“I’m in a program. For my drinking. I know what you’re going to say. That it only took eight years for me to get to this point. And that I should have listened to all the times you begged me to go and get help. That things would be completely different now if I had have.”

She doubts it. Their problems extended far beyond his alcohol issues. Getting help for that barely scratches the surface.

“One of the things I need to do…to make a clean break and start a new life…is to make amends for things I’ve done. It doesn’t erase what was said or what I did, but it’s an important step I need to take. For my own mental and physical health.”

“Because that’s all it was ever about, right Mark? You. I was never really in the equation.”

“Maybe it will give you some kind of closure as well. Maybe you need to hear these things just as much as I need to say them. So you can get on with your life.”

“I’ve gotten on with my life. I met the love of my life. The true love of my life. I got married. Had babies. I love the life I have. With the person I’ve made that life with. I don’t need to hear anything from you, Mark. But I understand why you need to say them.”

He gives a smile of appreciation, taking a deep breath as he nervously rubs his hands together. “I know that I hurt you,” he begins. “I know that I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with. Live with. That there were things I said and did that were horrible. That I was a terrible person to you a lot of the times. Especially after the baby.”

She nods in agreement, swallowing down the lump of emotion that has lodged in her throat.

“I think we just got caught up in things. I had just come out of a bad relationship and I was looking for someone…anyone…to fill that hole inside of me. And you were there. I met you and everything seemed right with the world again. And maybe it was wrong. Maybe it never should have happened. I was your commanding officer. But it did happen. And I don’t regret that. Because there were some good times. And when things were good, they were damn good. Weren’t they?”

“I never denied there were good times, Mark. But there were more bad than good and you can’t deny that.”

“And you can’t deny that those times weren’t all my fault. You’re not exactly the easiest person to live with, Esme. You don’t make it easy to love you. I’m surprised this guy’s held on as long as he has, to be honest.”

She smirks. “And you were doing so well there for a minute. You almost had me feeling sorry for you.”

“He must have a lot more patience than I do. Almost six years, right? And he’s still around? You must be doing something right.”

“I give amazing blow jobs and he gets laid nearly every day, twice a day,” she retorts, and he frowns. “You actually almost had me there, Mark. I was starting to feel sorry for you. I was actually starting to feel proud of you for getting help. And then you do this. You turn it around so you’re the victim.”

“I’m only pointing out that things fell apart because of both of us. Granted, I was a lot worse than you were and you put more into it when it came to trying to keep things together. You definitely worked harder than I did when things were falling apart. And I know I went off the deep end after the baby. I’m sorry. For the things I said and the things I did to you. The other women. The lying. The being a complete asshole. And that’s what I came to say to you. That I’m sorry and I hope one day you can forgive me.”

She nods, considering his words, arms still crossed over her chest, hands rubbing her shoulders.

“You have a beautiful family, Esme. You’ve got a guy that’s obviously crazy about you. Amazing kids. And I’m glad you found that. I’m glad you found someone that loves you as much as he does. Someone that could give you what I couldn’t. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the kind of man that you needed. I really am. Even now I wish things could have been different.”

“Things happen for a reason,” she says. “Had we…had you fixed things…I wouldn’t have what I have now. I never would have met Tyler. And that was the best thing that ever happened me. Even if what happened afterwards was screwed up. I don’t regret meeting him. Or going through what I had to. He almost died. I almost lost him and I had just found him. But I don’t regret how I met him or how things happened between us. And none of that would have happened if things worked between us.”

“Well I hope he appreciates it. How much you love him. How much you’re willing to go through for him. Because when you love, you love with your whole heart. Your whole being. And I just hope he realizes how lucky he is. I hope that you have a long life together. A happy life. And I really am sorry I couldn’t give you all that.”

“And I’m sorry too,” she admits. “For not being the person you needed.”

“That’s the thing. You were. And I was just too stupid to realize it.”

“Mommy,” Millie appears by her side, tugging at the bottom of her t-shirt. “I’m hungry.”

“Again?” Esme laughs, and scoops her up into her arms. “You’re getting to be just as bad as your daddy and your brothers. Can you say hi?”

“Hi,” the little girl chirps, and offers a hand. “I’m Amelia. But everyone calls me Millie. I like that better.’

He smiles and shakes her hand.

“I’m five,” she announces. “Those are my brothers...” she nods over her mother’s shoulder in the direction of where Yaz is helping the twins shake playground sand out of their sandals. “Tyler and Tanner. They’re twins. But they don’t look exactly alike.”

“Fraternal,” Esme explains. “Not identical. But you’d never know it if you saw them side by side. It’s hard for people to tell them apart, isn’t it, Millie? We can because we live with them and see them every day. But to other people it’s hard.”

Millie nods. “Sometimes, at school, if they have a new teacher or a new person watching them on the playground, they’ll pretend to be each other. Just to mess people up. They think it’s funny,” she rolls her eyes at that, then adds in exasperation, “Boys. They try at home too, but mommy and daddy know who is who. That’s my other brother,” she points in the direction of where Nik is buckling the baby into his stroller. “Declan. He’s just a baby. I like him better than the other two. I really want a baby sister. I’m tired of having brothers.”

“Well that’s something your dad and I have to decide. Whether it be a brother or a sister. We don’t really get to pick. It just happens.”

“Do you know my daddy?” Millie addresses Mark. “His name is Tyler too. My brother was named after him.”

“We met,” he confirms. “We don’t really know each other though.”

“You know mommy?”

He nods.

“How?”

“Your mom and I knew each other a long time ago. We met at her old job. Long before she met your dad or had you or your brothers.”

“You were friends?”

He smiles. “Something like that.”

“Do you like dogs?”

Mark blinks.

“I have a dog. His name is Macaroni. But everyone calls him Mac. I try telling everyone that’s not his name, but…” she shrugs.

“Welcome to the world of five-year old’s,” Esme grins. “Where your attention span is limited yet you can carry on six different conversations at the same time. I should go. The other three are probably hungry too. And we should get home before daddy and Ovi, right?” she presses a kiss to Millie’s temple.

“Ovi’s my other brother,” Millie explains. “But he didn’t come from mommy’s tummy. Mommy and daddy didn’t make him like they made the rest of us. I’m only five, but I know how these things work, you know. Ovi doesn’t look like me. But he’s still my brother.”

“The drug dealer’s kid?” Mark asks Esme, and she nods. “Pretty admirable. You guys taking him on like that.”

“He needed a family. Him and Tyler have a pretty tight bond. Even back then they did. And we couldn’t just leave him there.”

“He never would have survived. If you hadn’t have taken him. You realize that, right?”

She nods, then gives Millie a smile and a kiss on the forehead. “Hungry? Should we go and grab something to eat? Make Uncle Yaz pay? We should go. If all four of them start carrying on at the same time…”

“Thank you, Esme,” he reaches out and rubs her shoulder. “For hearing me out. I know it wasn’t easy for you and I know you didn’t owe me anything. And I hope one day you can forgive me.”

“Maybe,” she says. “I’m glad to see you’re getting yourself together, Mark. That you’re finally taking things seriously and getting the help you need. I really am. You deserve much better than the cards you’ve been dealt. You always did.”

He smiles, then reaches out to tuck a wayward piece of hair behind her ear. “Your hair has always done that,” he chuckles. “I always used to fix it for you.”

“Well, someone else does that for you now. So…” she backs away. Far enough that he can’t reach her.

“I really am happy for you. Genuinely happy. You got the life you wanted. Someone that loves you and can provide for you, give you children. He’s lucky.”

“I’m pretty lucky myself. Even if it takes something like this to make me realize it. He’s a good man. Not perfect, but perfect for me. And he’s a great father. Right, Millie? Isn’t he? Isn’t he a great daddy?”

“The best daddy ever,” she gushes. “Even if he won’t let me paint his nails or wear the tiara.”

“It’s a long story,” Esme says.

“But he does take me fishing,” the little girl continues. “And hiking. Those are pretty cool too. Do you have kids?”

“No,” he responds. “I was never lucky enough to have kids. Your mom’s a good mom, isn’t she?”

“The best ever,” Millie says, and presses a noisy kiss to Esme’s cheek. “Even if she does keep giving me brothers.”

“And that’s our cue to leave,” Esme laughs. “I need to get these guys fed and home. It was nice seeing you, Mark. For what it’s worth, I hope you got what you needed by coming here. I know it wasn’t easy for you, either.”

“If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, don’t hesitate to call. I’ll help anyway I can. Maybe we can start from square one. Be friends again. We always worked better as friends. Would you at least think about it? Give it a chance.”

“We’ll see,” she says. “If you don’t hear from me…well if you don’t hear me, just take care of yourself. You’re on the right path. Stay on it.”

“I will,” he promises, and then she turns on her heel and walks away.

#Tyler Rake #tyler rake fan fiction #tyler rake fan fic #extraction #chris hemsworth character #sanctuary

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