#ng growth but you
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i feel kind of conflicted (in the ‘it’s a bit unfulfilling’ way) abt the past 15 chs of bllk for some reason :(
#moon talks#i think partially it’s the pacing like i caught up to the recent arc n am reading it weekly now but it’s during one of the SLOWEST arcs for#the story which i get; like it’s one of those learning walls for jim ig and it’s jarder when eberyone is getting instructions and experienci#ng growth but you#but also it’s odd bc you switch from this long period of frustration to this sudden period of growth and tbf it’s not sudden bc he’s always#had the capability of meta vision but i personally feel like the intensity of it was written too compactly?#ig my gripe is that the period of fristration and helplessness felt so long for 1sagi (i am censoring bc i absolutely do jot want this in#the tags) was so long w/out much inkling of hope ;; maybe i’ll reread and my opinion will change thi#also ??? this is super nitpicky but i don’t particularly enjoy the bigger font and how predominant it has been in the past few chapters LOL#i ttoally get that it’s supposed to represent his current train of thought (almost like stream of consciousness) in a manga way but it feels#cluttered and almost a bit clumsy? again i could totally be singling out this series LNAndjjs i just genuinely dk why i’m so bothered this#time around 😭 actually it might be bc i miss his dynamic w his friends#like that usually would lighten up the tone a bit or make things a bit faster to read but now there isn’t much to cut tjrohgh his frustratio#n in relation to his growth bc they’re now obstacles rather than potential allies or a wall to bounce off of#yhis prob is where the series rlly hits the whole egoism thing and where the elimination of characters will rlly hit me huh LOL#i’m…… v nervous but also i can’t wait to move on from this arc 🧎🏻♀️
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Y'all are gonna think I'm so weird.
But I'm running with this idea I've had for a while for my mcl ocs. Well, other than the actual other mcl ocs I've made.
It's part lazy, part bizarre.
Clones.
Yep, clones.
My MCL NG oc is a clone of the original Puku, but different. I haven't figured out the details yet, but it's like what I did with Pukun, Puku's male clone. It has the idea of a type of clone theory idea of nature vs nurture. The DNA and nature of the puku clones is the same, but the nurture is always a bit different depending on circumstances. Puku "prime" is the parent of all the clones made, but Puku "prime" had a different parentage and upbringing than the clones. Not to mention, the events of each mcl game has different outcomes for clone Puku.
This Puku has -teal- hair and is a zoomer, I guess. Raised by Puku "prime" and has the existential grappling of dealing with being a clone in general.
There's... still a lot of ironing out to do. Like... Where does Kentin fit into all this? How should I incorporate the family given to Puku 2.0 in New Generation?
Why am I giving this plot to an MCL OC!??
lol
#my candy love#my candy love new generation#mcl ng#not that it matters at all. i don't believe I'd really write much lore on all this. it's just what my mind thinks of when regarding thispuk#actually I'm leaning more towards Puku 2.0 being raised by the family in universe. but Puku prime is like the creepy person that pops in#from time to time to make sure teal puku is doing alright#all of the pukus are adopted anyway lol#i have to study zoomers so I can know what zoomers are all about#wait... being a zoomer is all about upbringing during a certain time period.. so technically this Puku should be a gen alpha but JUST GO WI#dw guys I'll program this puku with the memories of a gen zoomer#When the teal puku was “born” from the test tube#puku prime put all the things zoomers grew up with on a crt television and had her watch it for a couple years while the body grows rapidly#it's all good fams we got this#teal puku would be like to peers “what do you mean your parents didn't have you watch your memories before they became memories?”#so like... teal puku will be “raised” by puku prime for about 4 years with programming. Then she'll be dropped off at the door step of the#family in NG with the instructions that she needs them to be her new family#yeah it's perfect!#just... so many of those gen z starter packs that I seen around#like minecraff and fortnite and the wii... yeah it's perfect#i need to remember how much aging happens in one year that I must have decided at one point. like a dog.#i think it was 1 year = about 4 years of growth but I can't member rn#but as per usual that growth cycle only goes on until reaching the age of the dna sampled. then it goes back to normal puku dna human growt#so actually 1 year of zoomer childhood programming#wait... the plot holes... are still.. T__T#I'll workshop it.
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Are supposed to believe that Kat@@ng has been built for 3 seasons?
Sure, if we choose to ignore Katara altogether (which seems to be a theme ~ cof, cof ~) then I could argue that it has been set up, but a ship isn't just about one half of it, it has to be about the two.
For 2 halfs of the animation, we see that Aang is developing a crush on her which is fine because he's a child and it's hard not to develop feelings for someone when you spend 24 hours with said person.
But the thing is, what about Katara? Yes, we see her get "jealous" and "upset" over Aang in a few instances, but that shouldn't be enough for us to automatically assume she should spend the rest of her life with him.
Katara herself was confused for most of season 3 and prior to that barely seemed to acknowledge Aang at all or to feel anything for him other than platonic love. When he kisses her without her consent, she tells again that she was confused and gets angry at how her boundaries were crossed (rightfully so).
But then right in the end all of her confusion just magically goes away so she can act as a prize for Aang. All her inner turmoil, all her thoughts about whether or not she feels like that about him go to hell and she barely has time to process anything and it's expected to be at his side.
Her confused feelings don't matter (notice I'm not automatically saying she didn't have any, just that she didn't have time to acknowledge whether or not she was confused and if what she felt was truly romantic in nature), she was just expected to be with him because he was the hero.
And suddenly all of Katara's growth and character arc became non important, she was a mere afterthought just so a guy could get the girl
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What I want in Death Mark 3 (VERY DELUSIONAL)
1) I want Mashita and Yashiki to be the only ones to return. (Maybe Daimon but that’s my bias). Death mark 2 was fun but the cast was too big and I know the fans would love to have Yashiki and Mashita back.
2) I want them to met the cast of NG. Primarily Kijima so we can fully have him be lowkey adopted by Mashita and Yashiki and team up to deal with spirits. Better yet if Kijima is convinced they are romantically together.
3) Mashita and Yashiki should be the main victims of the fan disservice. We been asking this for years.
4) Have Mashita be in serious danger for a case so Yashiki has to save him. (Again make Mashita be in the fan disservice. We are begging you.) We care so much about their relationship and about Mashita.
5) There’s a trend of what the spirits are based on. I recommend going the full queer horror aspect. We had some queer horror storylines with Hanahiko and Hanako of the toliet. (Better yet if we get some concrete like confirmation that Mashita and Yashiki are some sort of queer if not they are legit together).
6) I personally want that fanon idea of Mashita slowly like moving into the Kujo Mansion like a feral cat. By the end he is full on roommates with Yashiki.
7) I would kill for like a social links system to bond you with whatever characters. And has one of the social links scene is Yashiki and Mashita drinking.
8) More growth on like Yashiki spirtual sensitivity. I was sorta thinking having ghostly visions and having to point and click certain areas for clues or connect information. I like to call it Spiritual Investigation.
9. I want Mashita to get possessed and he is so angry that he forces the spirit to leave his body.
10. I personally want a ghost that is based on a leech. Because I’m terrified of them.
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Slightly late monthly journal!
First off, the spreadsheet has been updated:
Nothing too drastic here, especially compared to my initial growth spurt. But still… there’s so much, yet so little to talk about.
I’ve been on spiro for a longer time now, and recently increased my estradiol dose. Note that my levels check was before the increased dose- the dates aren’t completely coordinated (they are on my private spreadsheet for my own personal tracking, don’t worry). It’s looking pretty good. Testosterone is well within target levels. E is about the same, which is much lower than I would like it. My endo says that 100-200 is “minimally acceptable”, and wants to shoot even higher than that. That’s comforting, in a way- I’m the slightest bit frustrated that some changes aren’t happening too quickly, but that gives a very distinct avenue for improvement. Ultimately, I’m gonna switch to injection monotherapy, probably around the same time I start prog. So the big change is decreased T. What has that done to me?
First off, the hard measurements. There’s really no surprises here. I’m losing weight, which tracks with my general diet and an increase in exercise levels. It seems to be happening faster than normal, though. Which, is pretty easily explainable by a new variable in the equation: adderall. I started adderall in the middle of the month. I’ve used it sparingly, but everyone I know that takes it told me that weight loss is pretty much unavoidable. I’m certainly still above any point where my weight would be worrying, but I’m gonna have to keep an eye on it. Especially if I want fat tits. As for how the weight loss is happening, I’m very happy with what’s going on. My bust and hip measurements are holding steady, while my waist and underbust are still slightly going down.
I do know that there’s another source of weight loss, however: muscle mass. With the increase in exercise level has come an increase in exertion for the same results, which has made me slightly dismayed. This is the main HRT effect that I was a little scared of. But honestly, I really only care about the muscle that helps me hike and swim- and if I maintain that better, I think it won’t be too much of an issue. I was never some pariah of physical condition, so I think with training I can even improve my hiking stamina. That’ll be very necessary with my future backpacking plans.
The main thing that I’m REALLY happy about is that, if I squint, I think I can slowly start to see the first hints of facial changes start to come in. They’re subtle, of course. A weird one is that my nose is literally straighter. Y’all don’t see it, but the reason I still shield my face (despite being easily identifiable at this point if you saw me irl and knew this account) is mostly insecurity about my nose and chin. My nose actually physically curves to my right when viewed from the front, and in general, is a huge, classic Roman nose. Looking at head on progress pictures, its actually starting to straighten out. I thought I was imagining things, but I checked in with a couple friends before and after pictures of several years on HRT, and yeah- their noses are different, usually smaller and more symmetrical. Saying that this is a huge relief to me would be an understatement. Additionally, I was insecure about my boxy jawline, but for some reason, it seems to work as a femme feature of my face now- I think slight cheek restructuring helps frame it better. Still not so sure how the chin is gonna turn out. But hey- I started HRT thinking that I would for sure need FFS to pass, but now, I'm far less concerned. I'll at least give it two years.
I’ve also gotten a lot of interesting comments. Several labmates and family members that don’t know I’m transitioning have remarked that my skin looks healthier, and I look younger. I’ve also had noticeable mental health improvement, so I think most people think I’m on some kind of self improvement kick. I mentioned skin care as part of that. We’ll see how long the excuse holds- probably a while, as the changes are so, so subtle at the moment. But shit, I’m only three months in. I’m thrilled.
There’s still no getting rid of my beard shadow. Even though the growth rate of my facial hair has noticeably decreased, the thickness of the basal hairs will always add shading to my face. When I started HRT, I thought it wouldn’t bother me that much until I was ready to socially transition- but tbh, it’s starting to look glaring to me. I’m looking into starting laser sometime in January, and hopefully that’ll help.
Which brings me to the emotional changes. Holy FUCK what a month its been. I’m not gonna expose all of my dirty laundry. But, a mixture of some long term anxieties and a few particular events led to a classic mid-20s “what the fuck am I doing with my life” crisis. One of those long term anxieties was a thought I’m sure many of y’all are familiar with: “I started HRT. Now what? How the fuck am I going to socially transition?”
For a couple days, I was very seriously considering quitting grad school and academia. I’m past that. Tragically, I love science a little too much. I do, however, need a break. I talked to my advisor about taking a hiatus, and he’s fully supportive of the idea. And conveniently, that also provides me with a clean way to simply disappear, and come back as a woman. A nice little break to allow me to socially transition.
But anyways. Here’s my big point here: if I went through something similar pre-HRT, I would’ve reacted completely differently. I would’ve shoved those thoughts deep and let them simmer as a general, background malaise that I would just stew in and suffer. Now? I cried. A lot. Actual fucking tears. I went through a few days of sharp sadness, and then actually fucking processed those emotions. What the fuck? That’s new. It’s insane. I wouldn’t have had the emotional capacity to that before.
I’m elated. It’s wonderful. It’s a more than welcome change.
But yeah. Steady as she goes. Progress is a little stalled, but both me and my provider are adamant about getting that E up. And I’m still making slow progress as it is.
Very quick NSFW notes after this button.
The final note: sexual function. With the low T… yup, my downstairs functionality has decreased. My ejaculate is clear, and often happens without being fully erect. That said… there’s no way in hell that I would ever trade getting that back for what I have now. My libido is still comes in waves, and is crazy when it comes. The feelings I get from intimate situations now are incredible beyond belief.
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New Gen, ep 1 y 2
Finally I had time for a "little" review! I'm late but better late than never. Like many, I had my expectations and I can say that, apart from 1 point that concerns me and that I will mention later. I am pleasantly surprised with the final product.
Let's start at the beginning and I want to say that I really like that they give us a full context about Ysaline's life and her family from the very first moment, it helps me to connect with her, unlike Candy who in ep 20 I think we just meet her parents. And like Ysaline, I'm ready to make the same mistakes again and even worse (Why go for 1 boss? if you can go for 2 😏)
The animations, I don't want to leave out the animations, from the changes of expression of our character in each dialogue, to the, at first weird but then not so weird, "camera close-ups", I loved them. Thomas peeking out from the side of the screen or when a route approaches us in the moments of the dates, are an extra touch that helped me to get more into the story.
Regarding the routes and characters in general I want to say that I find them nice, it is a varied group in personalities which is what interests me the most and I want to discover who have their own groups and who are besties (the scene where they all run into Devon's office is awesome). Now with the routes, from second 1 I declared myself Jason and Thomas route, which I tried to follow but to my surprise, just following my instinct I ended up on Devon and Jason's routes…. (by the way the new Cassy/Nath) The personalities of the routes are well defined and, at least in my experience with Devon and Jason I felt "chemistry" that with the others I didn't (and that's ok, I'm not looking to fall in love with everyone).
Now talking about plots, I feel they have a lot to draw from, and although I know that showing the Cosy Bear Cafe event would be very difficult due to the personalization of each player, I don't deny that I would like to see it in NG. I don't mind that some arcs may be cliche, as long as they take risks as they have been doing in MCLLL, I want to see controversial and/or sensitive topics!
And finally… my ONLY complaint, and more than a complaint is a concern, is the issue of the points and not the PA's, no, not at all, I made a very quick calculation and it's fine. But the gems is another thing, 2 per day + 7 on the last day of the month gives us between 65 and 67, if they release 1 episode every 2 months, well that's perfect, you have 130-134 gems for the episode. What's the "but" then? I'm a sl@t and I like to have special moments with more than one route… in this case 2, if it is 1 additional scene per route and each one costs 120 gems, in an episode I would have 240… so I would have to wait DOUBLE to play an episode my way, to my taste… Is it unforgivable? Not at all, it's a detail in fact, but if someone would read this, they could lower it a little… just a little, maybe to 100 and I wouldn't feel so devastated ☹️
Other than that, and to close. New Gen was a positive surprise, you can see the love that is in the game, in terms of gameplay, graphics, animations, etc, etc. 100/10 nothing to say, excellent work. I TRUST that this quality that reflects the growth of Beemoov as a company and MCL as a franchise, will be seen in the plot, in the arcs and in the development of the routes, which after all, is the most important thing for the players.
So thanks for reading ❤️ and see you early tomorrow morning at the office…
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my thoughts and theories on ep 5
starting with the things i did like, i think the animation + visuals are overall very consistent for the series so far. the tone of the episode was a bit more serious because, well... akutaro and the gang war and the growing tensions between characters.
we finally got see the full flashback of matakara and arajin's backstory and it was a nice surprise to see how matakara stood up for himself and arajin of course runs away (understandable) but i'm hoping in future episodes we get more on their pasts (with matakara's brother too. maybe the reason his brother is in juvie is because he did something bad to the bullies and he didn't tell/lied to matakara? this could be interesting later on) and how it affects the present and future character growth. I hope we also get to see the reason why arajin moved away as it’ll help us understand his character more (literally running away from circumstances. A lot of his character is running away and how he has to confront it)
akutaro is a fun villain! a complete dramatic and horny menace. i'm so glad he got his face punched in. i wonder how he got ichiya (what influence does ichiya have over him/he have over ichiya?) and if he’ll continue to be the series’ big bad later on or if he’ll just be the antag for this arc.
the good thing about arajin being so indecisive about joining anyone is that we get to see how each gang operates. this time, we see the ng boys (and girls?? they have girls too) and how akutaro has everyone under his finger. he uses fear and threats to manipulate them into doing what he wants, forces them to do his dirty work. we also see how he got kicked out of minatokai and a bit of kenichiro and marito's battle in the background. i wonder how the blue majin will merge with matakara because it's foreshadowed heavily. (“no doubt those kicks are ichiya’s” and matakara’s fighting style revolves around them) right now the blue majin is with akutaro) i’m also dying to know senya’s motives and past with ichiya and how it could tie into the conflict between their person.
i feel like the gag of arajin and his *cough* rampant thinking with his dick is starting to wear on my nerves a bit, but i don't HATE him. i get that his character is supposed to be poking fun at that trope. i think what's interesting is that you could point out that male characters who are considered to be strong also happen to have lots of connections + affections (platonic or romantic) toward other men. arajin by contrast, rejects it in favour of chasing after women (maybe it’s what he thinks will prove his masculinity to others? or it's like. a distraction from his issues?)
maybe it’s not that deep, but it's something i wanted to point out anyway.
on the topic of arajin: my biggest worry is that while i DO have hope arajin's character development is on the way soon, i am concerned that they'll start it too late (like ep 10 which is unlikely but) and not give us enough time to fully sympathize or connect with his relationship towards matakara and the others around him. i understand he's supposed to be a selfish and unlikeable character, but i feel with like there's only so long you can stretch out the drama before it wears thin if you don’t expand on it; which is something have hope that they’ll do since there’s a lot of setup there.
i know arajin’s character is why most people are dropping the anime, but i'm hoping most people will at least be patient for the development. we're only at episode 5. (like sk8 for example had the conflict span from ep 7-10. this is a larger scale conflict so ofc it'd take longer)
bucchigiri has a lot of potential, and i’m hoping they’ll stick the landing.
(i also need to see the fight between kenichiro and marito next ep ; i know it'll be awesome.)
with the title of the next ep's title being "much much friendship! 'nira-reba'-lution 21!" i do hope we get to see much, much more in terms of friendships (a falling out maybe?) , arajin-related or otherwise.
i'm excited to see where the anime goes next!
#matakara deserves a hug. maybe get to see and spend time with his brother again#congrats to all the hagure and jabashiri fans who got the heart hand ed card and like 1 sec of screentime#matakara is too good for all this#zabu is a real one for breaking him out#also this episode shows that mahoro cares on SOME level about matakara and arajin#not fully lmao but she can be sympathetic at least#she was crazy this ep tho ☠️ calm down#I wonder how mitsukuni lost his place as 42nd leader and if it relates to the rivalry between gangs or matakara or a secret third thing#akutaro really is the greater of the two evils in comparison to the other gangs#bucchigiri?!#arajin tomoshibi#matakara asamine#also side note idk about the production and if there’s any issues behind this show but i hope the people on it get to take a break at least#or it gets resolved#it's interesting to see everyone's thoughts on the episode so far#certifiedlesbianvampire’s rambles
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What if Branch is just like, really fu€k!ng strong??
No but, hear me out. Branch essentially spent two decades isolated, surviving in the wilderness and digging a giant underground bunker, you can’t tell me he didn’t gain some insane amounts of muscle mass from that?? (Not to talk about durability, speed and endurance!)
I have a headcanon, that Branch gained an absurd amount of muscle during the two decades he spent in isolation; not only from building the bunker, but from hunting critters (as I could see him turning to eating meat, since sweets probably wouldn’t be accessible in the forest), them often being at least twice his size, and he’d probably get way more protein than the other trolls that way. I could also see him chasing off predators that were nearing pop village, and when intimidating them weren’t enough, he’d get into physical confrontations, so he’d probably also have some pretty gnarly scarring.
Him sometimes getting around the forest, akin to Tarzan, is also something I’ve been considering a possibility as well. That would certainly add on to the list of reasons why Branch is very physically adept in my headcanon.
Even better if Branch has kind of a sleeper built; maybe he’s even a little shorter than the average troll, from having his growth stunted when he first was on his own, and not as experienced with obtaining his own food. I could also see him being furrier than the other trolls, because of having to keep warm during harsh winters, etc., so people might not even be able to notice his muscle definition unless they physically grabbed onto him, and I don’t think he’d willingly let someone do that (maybe with the exception of Poppy).
———
Now imagine this, Brozone slowly figuring out through random daily events, that their little brother just might be a unit:
• One of the bros (Probably Bruce or JD), trying to wrestle Branch into a headlock to give him a noogie or a wet Willy, only for Branch to basically be an immovable force
• Branch picking up Floyd whenever he’d be too fatigued to walk, and easily moving around with him until they’d get to their destination, no matter the distance
• Branch carrying around a bunch of stuff, and when the bros offer to help, they almost collapse under the weight, totally dumbfounded as to how he’d been carrying it with almost no effort
• The bros walking around with Branch in pop village, observing how trolls would come up to him, asking for help with what the bros deem to be at least a three-troll-job, like flipping over a fallen critterbus, or help pull up a pod, that 5 other trolls were installing but struggling to hold up, and Branch basically taking on half the weight himself
• Maybe JD trying to sneak up on Branch to give him a hug-time hug, only for Branch to, on instinct, twist around and lock him in an armlock
• Them all being at a party, and as Branch dances with Poppy, he’s able to throw her into the air, way higher than what should be deemed possible
• The bros looking for Branch, only to find him coming out from the forest, dragging a giant growl-beast that he took down behind him
• Branch having a nightmare and accidentally punching the sh!t out of JD when he and the others try to wake him up
I could probably think of more, but this is what I have so far.
———
In a sadistic way, I just think it’d be funny for Brozone to constantly be hit with one wave of guilt after the other, at how much Branch had to go through on his own after they left, and being hit with the realization, that it’s no longer him needing their protection, and instead it’s Branch that’s way more capable of protecting them.
Like imagine if they all went on a trip, camping or smth like that, and a predator showed up, trying to attack them. I could see JD, Bruce and Clay telling the others to get behind them, only for Branch to surge forward and take down it down before they can even process what’s happening.
Imagine them just staring in shock and maybe a little horror, at their baby brother, covered in blood, awkwardly standing there and feeling a little unsure of what to say. He’d probably make it worse too, when trying to reassure them: “Don’t worry, it’s not my blood!” Like, Branch, no..
#trolls#trolls headcanons#trolls brozone#trolls branch#branch trolls#jd trolls#trolls clay#trolls floyd#bruce trolls#trolls poppy#my headcanons
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If it's not too personal to ask as a fellow plus size trans (though still in closet / pre-hrt)...
How has breast growth been, if at all?
Would love some realistic* expectations as a bigger girl with a relatively bigger chest already (46DDD/48DD-ish) and rock bottom T already (100-ish ng/dl)
*With the evergreen asterisk that genetics are wild cards, your experience isn't guaranteed, etc
So generally speaking the thing I’ve heard from other girls is look at what your moms got and go down a cup size at the same weight. My mom’s not as fat as me and the boob growth has been��. a lot. When your tits are growing it hurts and I haven’t been able to lay flat on my stomach for like 6 months lmao. Once you start prog too it really increases growth and makes them fuller and less pointy. I haven’t started that yet but I will next month and im looking forward to the results :)
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Mamuta (Monster)
(Mamuta Download by SAB64 on Deviantart)
(I love the mamuta, and I love how evil the captains are to them. They aren't aggressive at all, and even when you piss them off they don't even hurt pikmin! Just plant them! I interpreted them as benevolent fey- although they canonically lay eggs in the game- and kept them at their original size. I also incorporated the fact that these sweethearts have a tendency to get killed!)
CR2 NG Tiny Fey (Earth)
Mamuta are simple, kindhearted fey who tend to the undergrowth of forests, counting clovers, planting flowers, and choosing seedlings to care for until they become great trees. They treat all plant life with love and care, and even when incensed, choose only to quell plant enemies rather than kill them. A mamuta typically chooses a field or clearing about 60ft in diameter as its territory- such a clearing flourishes under its care.
Mamuta have an odd quirk- they are fascinated by rare magical and technological items, and often keep them somewhere on their person or buried in the soil. This, unfortunately, has led amateur treasure hunters to target them for their goods. Mamuta will fight with surprising strength for a creature so small, but still rarely win these conflicts against armed humanoids, leaving their small, delicate plants without a protector.
Mamuta are said to taste like chicken-of-the-woods, and it is believed by scholars of the natural world that they represent the symbiotic relationship between plants and fungi, as well as natural processes growing over and burying items left in the woods.
A NG spellcaster level 7 or higher with the Improved Familiar feat may take a mamuta as a familiar.
This small brown creature has a pair of long arms extending from its torso, and no head- only a pair of soulful eyes buried in its chest.
Misc- CR2 NG Tiny Fey (Earth) HD3 Init:+0 Senses: Perception:+9
Stats- Str:16(+2) Dex:11(+0) Con:18(+4) Int:6(-3) Wis:19(+4) Cha:14(+2) BAB:+1 Space:2.5ft Reach:0ft
Defense- HP:22(3d6+9) AC:14 (+2 Size, +2 Natural) Fort:+5 Ref:+3 Will:+7 CMD:11 Immunity: Force, Sonic Weakness: Vulnerable to Fire
Offense- 2 Slam +3 (1d6+2) CMB:+1 Speed:15ft Special Attacks: Planter (DC12)
Feats- Skill Focus (Knowledge [Nature]), Power Attack
Skills- Knowledge (Nature) +6, Perception +9, Stealth +12
Spell-like Abilities- (Caster Level 4, Concentration +6)
Status (Plants only) /constant
Cure Light Wounds (Plants only), Goodberry 3/day
Plant Growth 1/day
Ecology- Environment- Forests, Plains Urban (Any) Languages- Sylvan Organization- Solitary Treasure- Double (Medicinal herbs, 1 Lesser Wondrous Item)
Special Abilities- Planter (Su)- A mamuta’s slam attack is incapable of harming plants. Instead, a plant creature hit by the attack heals 1d6 damage and must make a DC12 Will save or become sedate, unable to act for 1d6 rounds as though they were dazed.
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Today is Shichigosan!
Children grow up so fast!
Let's be kind and watch over the small buds that are growing rapidly until they bloom!
Bonbon is really good at playing with children!
Do you all give Chitose candy to Bonbon? Or... Tracy!
(Art by @/urb-ng)
Shichigosan (Shichi-Go-San) is a traditional Japanese rite of passage and festival day for three and seven-year-old girls, five-year-old and sometimes three-year-old boys, held annually on November 15 to celebrate the growth and well-being of young children.
Chitose ame (Chitose candy) is is long, thin, red and white candy, which symbolizes healthy growth and longevity. It's always given to the children during Shichigosan celebration.
#idv#identity v#idv official illustration#idv seer#eli clark#idv mechanic#tracy reznik#idv cheerleader#lily barriere#idv mad eyes#burke lapadura#idv guard 26#idv bonbon
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Living in My Own Bubble
Sabi ng friend ko, ano raw realizations ko sa life ngayong independent living na. Actually, ewan, pero lately naaaliw talaga ako sa "slow" life ko; mabagal naman talaga akong kumilos at kumain in general, pero pinakanag-eenjoy ako pag hindi ko kailangan magmadali.
Siguro, before, para akong laging naghahabol ng oras, pero ngayon, effortlessly, ang aga ko laging dumadating. May time din na pansinin 'yung maliliit na bagay like mga tindahan, halaman, building sa paligid, may time akong mag-grocery (and somehow laging may open na counter dito, unlike sa amin dati, laging blockbuster, kahit 1 item lang, ang haba ng pila para makapagbayad). Sabi nila, 'di ba, parang pumikit ka lang, tapos laban na ulit (isipin mo pag 9pm ka na nakakauwi tapos 5am naggagayak na ulit). Ngayon, I feel in control of my time (since naglalakad lang ako papasok or pag pupunta somewhere) and I love the peace that comes with it. Walang nagsasabi sa akin kung anong dapat gawin.
Sa work naman... apathy. Haha. Basta pumasok at gawin ang kailangan. Kung hindi mapromote, edi hindi. Kung may mag-maternity leave at sa akin napasa ang trabaho at andaming dagdag na ipinapagawa on top ng normal work pero syempre walang bayad, edi wala. Kung hanggang saan lang ang kaya, dun lang.
Nag-let go na ako (for now) ng endless pursuit of growth and development. Hindi ko alam saan ako papunta. Wala akong goals. Just living day by day. Magaling na pala ako sa roleplaying ngayon, pag may mga parang HR na tanungan sa office like what do you hope to achieve in X timeline, parang pick a personality and put it on lang din ang peg. Kahit pag umoorder ako sa labas, inglisera na ako. Kumapal na mukha ko.
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Growing into the Job, Post 373: Evolution Concerns
We’re just worried that her growth chart is beginning to look logarithmic came the message, the most recent in a series of alarmist communiques from a technician at their daughter company in the US.
Kristina Zhestakova had received the first text as she’d been talking with prospective recruits, young women in their second and third year. She was now between meetings, walking down the hallways of The Medical University of Warsaw. The school was her alma mater and she recognized most of the landmarks, the twists and turns of the old passages, the labs and classrooms. Many of the professors were new; the plaques on the office doors had been largely replaced by female names. Twenty years, she thought with a nod, had brought on some welcome changes.
You are working on the sequencing data? she replied, relying on the translation software of KOLECTV’s encrypted messaging app. Her English had improved over the last couple decades, ever since she’d been tasked with establishing the company’s first North American facility on the island off Mexico's coast, but she still preferred writing in her native Polish. She was glad this technician - Marcia was her name - used the secure proprietary messenger as she’d been asked; not all at this upstart American company Evolution Pharmaceuticals did.
Yes we have the bloodwork. Working on it but it’s complicated, came the tech's next message. They all knew that MM-1A’s eldritch origins complicated things, making the polymerase chain reactions difficult and keeping them from using the Sanger or NGS. The witches and their ways tended to do that, make everything either too easy or too much of a chore. But KOLECTV’s science had learned and become powerful. We’ve already identified the location of the breath and the voice.
Yes. Doctor Zhestakova’s heels <click-click-clicked> on the tiled hallways of the medical school. Ostensibly, she was still, in title, Senior Vice President of Biotechnology at Gray Global Enterprises, once an American shipping empire that was now little more than a shell company for a good-sized group of the collective’s holdings. KOLECTV, technically, was one of those. However, in the early days, like a tick it had drained GGE’s resources and quickly came to dwarf its parent company and now controlled its interests. It was now an enormous, if still shadowy, network with tendrils not only in the medical and scientific industries around the world, but deep in other businesses, banking and politics.
The hope was that, soon - especially after the victorious results in the recent American elections - KOLECTV would finally shed the false auspices of GGE and begin to reveal itself. It would grow in power tenfold, it knew, when it could step out of the shadows on its six-inch stilettos and begin to claim its empire. When it is done send the sequencing package to my team at Coronado.
Of course Doctor. We’ve also located multiple other newly active gene loci, of unknown phenotype expression, the technician’s next message explained. Dr. Zhestakova knew what that meant, other potential abilities budding within the subject.
She’d spent many of her early years with the company, after being sent to America soon after medical school for project “Bridesmaid”, and then setting up and studying at their island research facility, KOLECTV’s first in the New World. The project, nearly twenty years prior to today, had ultimately resulted in the takeover of GGE and the facility was now one of many jewels in the crown of the movement. Dr. Zhestakova had been not only an operative (088) in that operation and an integral player in building the prototypes for what the women of the new world could be, but an early beneficiary subject (Program, 3133j) as well.
Send it all. But tell no one else, for now. I want Coronado to go over it so we can develop an isolation plan. Dr. Zhestakova knew that Oksana and others in KOLECTV’s higher ranks were made nervous by her tendencies towards self-autonomy and transgression; she’d seen the old files they kept on her. She knew that her independent streak, coupled with her Program-gifted intelligence and with what they called her “relative lack of empathy” was seen as both a powerful opportunity for the movement but something they struggled to keep in check. She knew her file also described her tendencies for excessive behaviors and indulgences. Those, over the past decade or so, she’d made good progress in controlling, reining in.
She could really use some vodka.
The height? The explosion in strength? We’re not worried? came the technician’s concern..
Fuck the height and strength. I’ve seen the monsters they’d made, the failed experiments in Siberia and Kazakhstan. That can be dealt with when the time comes. Let the other abilities manifest first, so we learn, glean, farm. No we are not yet concerned.
Others would be, she knew. Others would be very concerned. Dr. Zhestakova could only do so much, but she had been trying her best to keep the snowballing irregularities in Project MM-1A's case “under the radar”, as they might say in the US. If they were to attract notice, the project could get shut down; Kristina knew there was so much potential to be culled, so much that could be achieved. Just imagine, she found herself thinking, an army of superwomen not only bigger, taller, stronger than any man alive, like we’d planned…
No, the possibilities might go well beyond that.
…but impervious to heat, and harm, and bullets…
And in a rare moment of heart-pounding speculation…
Imagine an army of women that can fly…
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for more on the enigmatic, psychopathic and high-functioning alcoholic Dr. Zhestakova, as well as “Project Bridesmaid”, please see required reading “Trophy”
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A late December transition journal, and spreadsheet update!
The spreadsheet is (finally) updated with December measurements:
So I’m writing this in January, but… most of the thoughts on here are about December progress, and the measurements were taken in December.
It’s a weird mixed bag as far as transition is concerned. The measurements seem to be somewhat stalled. The only thing that seems to have changed is height, which like… it feels like it has to be error, and I’m pretty sure it is, but its been consistent? Maybe spinal curvature can change that fast? I’ll highlight on the spreadsheet the next time I actually get it measured at the doctor’s. Weight has fluctuated, and I did have a panic about it- however, it is possible that last measurement was a bit of an error. I could still physically see a rapid, unexpected drop in weight on my body, which I’ve since controlled, so I don’t think it’s that inaccurate, but yeah.
That all said… I’m being reminded constantly that the measurements don’t tell the full story.
For example, I think there’s a lot that’s missed by measuring at specific lines around the body. Waist and underbust are measured at minima, whereas bust and hips are measured at maxima. While these haven’t changed much during this time period, I have noticed overall growth in areas that aren’t these spots. Most notably… I have the tiniest inkling of an ass now!!!!! I’ve been flat as a board my whole life, and this time, in side profile, I noticed some booty curves and growth! But that measurement is overshadowed by my thighs and more traditional hip measurements, which have always been pretty good even pre-HRT.
My boobs grew a tiny bit, but seem overall more noticeable than that. I think a lot of the initial growth was determined by nipple protrusion, and while they def still have that “growth” type character where they stick out much further than the rest of everything, the overall shape of the boob is looking like… well, boobs. Even though the measurement hasn’t changed, the timeline pictures (which I’m keeping private, for now) do show that they’re getting more visually defined, which is amazing.
I also had a lot of little euphorias when I went home for the holidays. A lot of friends and even family that I hadn’t seen since early HRT or pre-HRT made comments about how I looked younger, looked different, or seemed to have nice skin. I’m considering that a win. Anecdotally, I do think that my face has femmed up a bit. If there was ever a month with the most face changes so far, it was absolutely December.
It is still true, however, that a lot of my body changes seem stalled. Maybe blame the swingy weight, or maybe blame the fact that my E is still…. Considered acceptable, but realistically, the 100-200 “acceptable” range is very low. My provider says that this is partially because of the 8mg limit on sublingual E, due to liver problems- 200 is pretty much what you can realistically get on sublingual alone. But guess what- I’ll be switching to injections soon! My provider wanted me to get E levels high to prevent super swingy emotions by drastically increasing my E levels, but said that with my current labs, I should be ready. I’m super happy about it, and hopefully I should regain some of the speed I had early HRT. I need my bazongas, okay?
I’m gonna be a bit emotionally weird, several things happening in my life rn. But on the plus side…. I have my first laser session tomorrow! I made the appointment earlier this week and decided to commit to keeping it despite things going on. I think it’ll be really helpful for my mental health, and very much improve how I feel when I look in the mirror. The only issue I can foresee is whether my boymode will hold, which, uuuhhh…. I mean fuckit my transition is an open secret at this point. People have seen the changes, seen me at parties, the queer community of my uni knows, they’ve seen and felt bra straps during hugs… I think everyone just kinda accepts that I’m waiting for the most comfortable moment. Then again, cis people can be oblivious, so maybe I’m overinterpreting. We will see. I don’t think much will change until I change my voice.
Sorry if the writing tone on this journal feels weird- again, emotional weirdness from various things. Until next month.
#transition journal#trans journal#trans#transgender#trans femme#trans timeline#transition#transitioning#trans documentation#trans woman#transfemme#mtf trans
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work talk naman tayo. medyo critical yung account namin ngayon dahil sa issues ng kabilang department. kaya stress na stress si zha kanina, uwian nalang pati, mineeting pa siya ng client.
napagtanto ko tuloy, ako sana yung stress ngayon kung ako yung naging tl, but at the back of my mind "buti nalang" haha. pero nakita ko yung shared post ni faye sa fb, yung may line na "do hard things, the ones that would frustrate you" naisip ko tuloy, baka naman ako rin mismo pala yung humaharang ng growth ko kasi ang hilig kong umiwas sa mga ganitong klase ng hirap. haha.
alam ko naman sa sarili kong kaya ko naman, pero siguro nga tama lang din yung dahilan ng boss ko kung bakit hindi ako yung nirecommend niya, kesyo emotional daw ako. konting sermon kasi minsan naluluha talaga ako, kahit nga inis lang e haha. siguro ito pa yung isa sa mga kailangan ko parin iwork on sa sarili ko, i know i can do better.
medyo napupunta na naman ako sa comfort zone ko dahil nakapag adjust na ko, pero medyo nawawalan narin ako ng gana na bare minimum nalang talaga yung binibigay ko, kasi wala na ako sa kumpetesyon—ganun kasi nafeel ko kay zha nung wala pang tl samin, minsan kumpitensya ang tingin ko sakanya. though hindi naman talaga ako nag expect na mapromote, dahil ayaw ko nga ng mas malaking responsibilidad. haha.
pero parang may bago akong kakumpetensya sa department ko, kasi yung teammate na nalipat samin, ginagalingan masyado haha. samin noon ni zha ako yung mas gamay ang gsheet at excel, ngayon may tumatalbog na saken haha. gumagawa kasi kami ng manual na data tracker ng mga naproprocess namin kada araw, may alam siyang ibang mas madaling paraan para matrack yung bilang kesa saken na basic lang ang alam haha. pero okay lang naman, nakakatuwa kasi may natutunan ako sa tulong naman niya. hehe.
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So I decided to watch a Shakespeare play every month this year (bonus points if it is with David Tennant) and while I re-watched my comfort watch of Much Ado About Nothing while recovering from pneumonia in January, this month I went for smth new: Richard II.
OMG, OMG!!!
It was so good, DT is of course stunning there, and the fact that the political element of the play is so relevant today nearly 430 years after it was written is simply astounding.
The famous kiss scene: it is a perfect depiction of a non-romantic kiss which is yet so tender... but when it happens you don't quite realise why it is there, and then at the end you realise what this was a reference too [spoiler below].
Overall, this was really amazing, a definite 9/10!
So, spoiler for the kiss:
Richard II kisses Omerle, and then it is Omerle who betrays him and kills him.
And it was such a clear reference to Judas' kiss, and so cleverly subverted (with Richard kissing him, as if already aware of his fate), and tbh, I was so proud of myself for catching it without any hints of explanations! I mean, for many it would be obvious, but for me it certainly shows growth in my ability to catch the biblical references in art.
And on a different note, as I feel that NG looked at that kiss and said "ooh, this is good, I'm gonna use that!", I bloody well hope he does not intend to use it in this analogy. I simply refuse to believe it (although, has this already happened, has the kiss and the killing of Crowley's heart, betrayal of their dream of a shared life already happened? So it can only get better from here (I mean, we know GO is gonna have a happy ending)
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