#never change god fucking damn
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"Hey, with, a ♪ ding ding dan ♪ let's dance!
Rougher and rougher, up, down, up, down ♪ heave-ho ♪
Here, until you hit the climax, I'll take good care of you
With our school slippers, shall we dance?"
Inspired by Balleriko - Mikito and this art
Part 2 with Fem School LIs...?
#This is my fav song please listen if you wanna!#One year in-game really changes my pc#Lol I draw the school gang like they're from some sort of otome game pfffttttt never thought I'd draw Whitney and Kylar but oh well-#and clean line-art to celebrate my new pc#as in my new computer#my pc is forever Lya#I love drawing couple dancing pose#sigh#and here come the tags#dol pc#degree of lewdity#degrees of lewdity#whitney the bully#kylar the loner#sydney the faithful#sydney the fallen#robin the orphan#dol robin#dol sydney#dol kylar#dol whitney#dollya art#dol#god damn that's fucking long
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sillies under the cut
#first time i actually like a melinda drawing i made??#oh my god???#tried out a this brush i never use but like damn........ its SO good#also sorry if i forgot to change the asks thing but requests are closed 🧍♀️#my obsession with drawing my irl crush only got WORSE i now have 4 fucking double pages dedicated to him. please help me#aint helping that his mom is an absolute sweetheart and we get along super well#even tho we only met TWICE#and the fact that he indirectly called me SMART#nah i'm pathetic#spy x family fanart#spy x family#fanart#my art#melinda desmond#demetrius desmond#demitrius desmond#damian desmond#sxf#sxf fanart
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“you did the mature thing, you did the mature thing, you did the mature thing,” i repeat to myself after blocking someone to quell the urges to unblock and yell at them for being a fucking idiot
#it was another god damn b*lly stan-#babes i am well aware the other characters aren’t fucking saints who’ve never hurt a fly#doesn’t change the fact that b*lly is still a fucking violent racist and abuser#who very much never learned from his actions and changed things#like he tried to kill a 13yo black boy for daring to hang out with his sister#the sister who’s skateboard he broke for daring to hang out with a black boy#like what in the hell are these people on#like sorry for not liking a character who’s like objectively a shitty person#didn’t know he had daddy issues#anti billy hargrove#anti billy stans#stranger things#ryan shut the fuck up#honest to god tho i am 2 seconds away from fist fighting every b*lly stan i see they are fucking insufferable
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the word terrorist has lost pretty much all meaning to me because 90% of the time a white person says that word its used as a shorthand for 'nonwhite people resisting oppression'
#skye's ramblings#im soo fucking tired of seeing zionists spout their genocidal bullshit on literally any post abt palestine. im soo fucking angry#ive been trying not to have a meltdown on here but every day this continues i get more and more pissed. how many more people have to die.#we protest and scream in the streets and give anything we can spare and fucking nothing changes bc western democracy is a fucking scam#daily reports of brown children slaughtered and people will smirk behind the safety of their screens and smugly tell you they deserved it.#my native aunts and cousins who are still suffering from the effects of colonialism watch as the descendants of people who took everything#-use their tax money to send more bombs to an illegitimate state that is doing the exact same fucking thing in real time. i want to scream#god dammit im so fucking tired. i will never lose hope but god damn. i am so tired of white people feeling entitled to fucking everything
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ttpd this, ttpd that, fuck it, i just finished watching preludes & i can't stop crying
#hshshshsh sorry but like it was so good#SO FUCKING GOOD#honestly this must be one of my favourite musicals ever#& the london southwark playhouse production was incredible#the actor who played rach? oh my god??? he is insanely talented#seeing “the first symphony” after only listening to it like thousand times changed my fucking life i will never be the same#come on now that was crazy#finding this video was the best thing that ever happened to me#there's also a huge chance for polish production because it's been made but they had to postpone the premiere#but if this ever happens i'll be the first one to buy that damn ticket#dave malloy you fucking legend#but sincerely can you hear me?*
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Did the other continents also have bootleg iterators like what happened with Abet Zephyrus? Or did they eventually get the design from the original ittie designer guys? Did any of them see the idea with Itties and make something different but with the same concept?
HMMMM -pulls up the map- let's say yes to the first question so Zephyr isn't all that special about it- sounds like it would've happened at least a few times, right
let's say that This group has done it (still the same continent but yanno), the ones with Butterflies in it. this group turned the faulty Iterator off n eventually rebuilt it
then one of these just cuz i find it funny that one of the Australian groups would've done dumb shit like that
what if they did it fucking Twice and ONCE they actually somehow managed to make that thing work well TOO. the most bizarre fucking thing ever cuz why not. it's australia
but yes, eventually the proper designs were sold to all continents. they then erected the Root Signals which then hold Two names- one name for the Iterator cahoot (like The Children of Eo) and a name for the Ancients/The Colonies (Aeolus Council of Iterator Colonies)
hmmm.... probably nobody went in the way "i was inspired by the idea of Iterators and made my own different thing" but there have definitely been variations and such that could've spawned in an almost adjacent way! they got their hands on the original plans and started changing things up until the product would be something different to the eyes but at the core it's still An Iterator
this dead group to the East of Butterflies' colony might've been the special kind since even durin the Ancient times it would've been largely made of water
the biggest group (or at least with the biggest reach), the one of The Creeping Ocean, was bound to be full of oddities as well!
but mostly people would stick to the official plans of the Generations, especially when it comes to the structures. those things are stupid giant and take a lot of minds to come together to create them in a basically foolproof manner
#Spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#i have NEVER written or seen Zeph's name as ''Abet Zephyrus'' god DAMN#we have the Sparrows believers who call Euros Caper cuz of her#and then we have You the first Boreas believer GKDLSJGLKSDLKC#'thats not a fucking ''Zephyr'' thats a whole goddamn ''Zephyrus'' you idiots' - Boreas n u now apparently im so proud#anyway yeah because of the unimaginable size of the iterator structures messing and changing the plans would be seen as unwise#u make one wrong calculation with One goober n it can all either blow up or we have Zephyr the second
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the only half way safe space to be a lesbian is online and literally y’all fucking suck too, i am so depressed
#castdowns.txt#i hate conversion therapy i don’t want to be straight i don’t want to like men i don’t like them i don’t care for them#i am so tired of feeling like the most hideous creature because everything changes when people find out that i’m gay#like i’m either a little boy or a problem and i am so fucking sad#like sorry you can’t fix me but literally i will not be able to function if i concede more ground to men and patriarchy like i am so tired#i wanna lock myself in my room a lot of the time like i don’t feel good ever#and yes my period is coming but god dammit thats not the only thing wrong#its never the only thing wrong unfortunately i just have very strong emotions that i try to suppress all of the time#yes my fawn response is bad i know this i dont know what to do about the fact that there is nothing people organically like about me#everyone has to train themselves to tolerate me and i am not above working to be loved but it doesnt feel like work towards the love i want#it feels like tying a noose tighter and tighter#it feels like smiling while my blood is pooling down the fucking drain again and again#and i love people around me i do it just always feels like i am alone#i sleep under the flag and i sleep in my bed alone every night surrounded by the stuffed animals i buy to feel something#*jo march voice* i’m just so damn lonely
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if i thought the witcher was painfully realistic. i was wrong. it is a very clear fairytale that comforts and soothes. even in its realistic take on the genre, it inspires, even in its tragedy, it comforts.
evil is defeated epically in a final battle in the darkness, the valiant heroes fall together, the lovers die united, and all pass into legend and are remembered for ever and ever. and the spirit of our hero returns now and again to save and deliver us from evil… they become legend and in that legend they are immortal…
#txt#the witcher books#OK HUSSITE TRILOGY SPOILERS IN TAGS:#like i cant say that evil WASNT defeated in the hussite trilogy because he definitely was but not in an epic final battle but#the fact that its like in the very penultimate bit and its not reynevan who does it but his NIECE it is just so…#we came all this way and there was no ultimate showdown#i mean there kind of was but not in a big castle but in some plains with a windmill and#it wasnt really a final battle but a kill-eachothers-girlfriends bit#birkart didnt even get his hands NEAR samson before he died#scharley and reynevan just left… at the end… just like in the beginning of the first book EXCEPT NOT because everything has changed them#well has changed reynevan. kind of dandelion and geralt in that way as the second man remains a constant#reynevan no longer being like a young man but a. man. but this didnt come with grand heroism and valour. it just came with. pain and#the eventual wearing down and tarnishing of his zeal and belief and love#thats … literally so fucking dark but also so realistic and it scares me lmaooooo#and people say the witcher was anticlimatic and sad at the end LMAOOOO OHHHH NOOOOO#lux perpetua like damn that dude really was walking in darkness groping along like a blind man after losing his eternal light#ohhhhh i get it now so god has abandoned us and he also never really existed ohhh okay#his love died as he was helpless to save her and he didnt even avenge his brother and his friend trio crumpled#like like. just trying to put this all into perspective
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what if. Amy “fix-it” because hallucifer makes sam so paranoid about dean leaving for no reason that sam gives in and follows him and is witness to the whole thing
#hallucifer: wow. big brother really trusts us. (beat) so something’s up right? we know it’s never this easy.#sam: (visibly restraining himself from saying shut up. about to grab his scar.)#hallucifer: (aware he’s about to be banished) don’t listen to me if you want but. I’m just trying to help.#don’t blame me if you look in the papers tomorrow and find a obit for your brain-eating girlfriend. and… what was her kid’s name again?#sam: (touching the scar. not pressing down. face all screwed up.) || hallucifer: :3 it’s not like it’ll hurt anyone#if he really does trust you he doesn’t even have to know we’re following him. *and* you’ll know your brother still trusts you.#even when I’m here. maybe he won’t even punch you again. that still hurting?#sam: (grimace. because yeah. it does.) || hallucifer: door number two - he thinks you’ve lost it and he’s going to stab that woman to death.#so what’s it gonna be Sam? ready to gamble your friend’s life on if Dean gives a shit about your opinion?#[and that’s the point where sam goes to follow dean. still doesn’t talk to Lucifer. not there yet. but oh hallucifer is sooo pleased with#himself about this. because he’s Sam. and he picks up on what Sam doesn’t. and he could see all of Dean’s little giveaways that Sam was#turning a blind eye to. and now here’s the perfect opportunity to put a wedge between them and get sam to trust him more <3)#GOD. FUCK. IM UPSET NOW. WHY WASNT HALLUCIFER IN THAT EPISODE. MOST OF THE EPISODES?#such a good fucking concept. squandered.#anyway. idk if sam saves Amy but he DEFINITELY here’s Dean’s little speech to her about how she can’t change.#hallucifer with faux sympathy like (sigh) damn. well. i always told you what he was like. Michael. Michael-sword. no difference.#both of them want us dead the moment we step out of line.#and Sam just frozen there in horror with Lucifer’s voice sinking in. and he believes him. how can he not. with dean proving him right#hallucifer#spn#sam winchester#amy pond
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looking @ old fic i started when i was 14/15 is so funny bc im realizing once again why i never mark fics as abandoned even if its been literal years since i've touched them. specifically i was checking docs for stuff i started and either did or didn't post to ffn.
and its like. nothing is bad??? like i can see where my outside-the-box ideal of fic writing comes from. not just fics but writing in general, i'm p sure. even if it's a total cliche plot setup, there are details on each that rly make it stand out like oh yeahhhhhh i did have this great idea once upon a time.
funny too bc was it executed well in prose??? no absolutely not i wrote like shit when i was 15. would i revive an idea one day and revise it to be less cliche or cringy while still keeping the stand-out elements??? yea maybe. i might. everything i'm currently working on that i started from 2021 up to now still holds my supreme interest, but like i'm not gonna say never.
esp since i write fic first and foremost for my own need and specifically what i like to read, it makes it impossible to consider an idea i've thought extensively about "not worth writing anymore". anyway not making this too long i jus found everything interesting to consider
#writing#this fic i pulled up from JUNE 2014 crazy was the old chosenshi au i was trying to write for a friend#i dont ship blue/silver and never will and thats prolly why i never finished it#but i do still like!! the idea of rocket!blue raised w silver and breaking free of tr while running the hoenn branch#no idea how i remembered bc it wasnt in the plot pts on the doc but she was gonna get sent to the battle frontier#to nab jirachi and have encounters w frontier brains and change her mind at the end of it all#hell i could go back and not make it ship fic at all - have silver be a little one-sided obsessed or#even jus like.. attached to blue as a rivalry like as a way to show her up at every turn#another fic around the same time was the old pokespe hs au where i changed all the dexholder's names for some reason#i have no idea where i was in reading spe bc i put lyra in for some reason and had the sinnoh trio even tho i never read past v2 of dp#idk if it was more gameverse or what but its so funny looking @ the ship list n seeing i had gold paired w black#bc i had manga!ss and manga!ferriswheel so was it rly speverse or was i projecting????#actually i think black was supposed to die and gold was gonna go thru this whole thing abt grieving#looking at the ship list so funny bc i never shipped gold/crys or entourageshi#and clearly i did not know the superiority of pmshi if i threw lyra in jus for silver#god but i do love (most!) of the alt names i gave them#would absolutely fuck up the ship list if i ever redid it tho#also have perfectworld tho im sure i have the most recent rewrite on pen and paper somewhere#that one i also gave up bc the idea i had for flare!sycamore was cringe along with#every time i went back to work on it enough time passed that i thought my writing sucked#i rewrote that damn thing so many times but oooooooo i still love the idea#as long as i changed the cringe parts to smth better i could still rock w most of these#that fic rly had everything... psychic!korrina. leaf/serena. sycamore hacking the secret to mega evo. lys/syc that ends in failure#bc of the ending line i will never forget > only in a perfect world could you and i be together. destined and doomed from the start#im rambling n im boutta run outta tags gimme a sec
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girls who have all their lives struggled with worthiness and have spent a solid decade convinced that they were undeserving of love fighting desperately to be good enough to be loved in any capacity by anyone at all, constantly failing constantly being left behind, when someone they dearly care for and genuinely trust just Very Casually tells them that they are easy to love
#diary time sorry this is kinda :// im just like. REELING#'damn shocked you into silence' GENUINELY YEAH 😭😭😭#like okay. okay. okay. okay. cool. take a belief ive held onto my entire life and flip it on its head with no effort at all. yeah thats fin#it feels SO silly to say im like Shaky bc of this but i have a whole ass complex built around it ive worked thru sm in therapy for years no#but this is one of the only things left that still (consistently) REALLY fucks me up and that i cant get through my head#and not for lack of trying its a work in progress if u will but. god.#genuinely one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me i think this is going to live with me for the rest of my life#or at least for the next decade#u know when someone says smth or tells u smth and u just Never Forget It like its too meaningful for you to let go of?#whether good or bad?#this is obviously Very Good which is strange in of itself but also holy shit. holy shit. holy shit#and idk i try to surface level be. Like This? silly goofy kind etc? but to hear that from someone who knows me PRETTY damn well#and who i have sm respect for and put sm trust in#like okay. okay. okay .okay. okay. okay. yeah. sure. yeah. mmhmm. alright. cool. okay.yeah. alright.#one million explosions#alyalyoxenfree#cant decide if i want him to see this or not#thats always a weird moment of someone saying something genuinely life-changing and then its like oh shit#do i suddenly dump all this baggage on you for the sole purpose of making you understand how meaningful this is to me#or do i do. Not That. and simply carry on forever changed for the better
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constantine: i thought i'd explained enough for you to understand the rules.
tim hunter: i have ... i do!
constantine: no, you don't. the phone book's free, tim. with magic, you play, you pay.
tim hunter: oh, bloody great! what is this — an "i'm-john-constantine — so-i'm-in-charge" sort of thing? you-react-the-way-i'd-least-expect-just-to-prove-a-point ... that sort of thing?
constantine: no. and stop swearing.
a "stop swearing" from john constantine is never not SO funny. anyway, sometimes i wonder if i like this motherfucker so much because he too falls victim to the autistic-coded trap of 'everybody assuming there's subtext when you're just saying exactly what the hell you mean'.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i simply can never stress ENOUGH how much he changes around kids. he genuinely wants to be a good example to them#everybody's assuming the goddamn worst of him and he's just trying to keep them the fuck alive. god DAMN i feel for the guy#( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD.#( tim hunter. ) BOY WONDER.#sched.
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Absolutely losing my fucking mind over the KSBD page like. Fuck. Fucking fuck. God. Fuck.
We’ve watched Allison go through absolute fucking hell, so much pain, suffering and heartbreak, and now we get to see a glimpse of her ASCENCION
And as if that wasn’t touching enough as it was, like
Like we’ve slowly over the course of the story met and gotten to know all Demiurges
We’ve seen all the dope ass introductions to them that I can not even fucking include here in full because there’s so many and they’re full page panels BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN
We’ve met the other Demiurges over the past 5 books, a process that has taken 8 years in real time
And like, all this time, we all thought this fucking comic, this god damn story, was about the task Zoss gave Allison back in Book 1, the reason he gave her the key, the mission he sent her on
We thought that’s what the title drop was
But no
Zoss was calling Allison by her true name
The name she has now claimed, with her ascencion
And I’m not fucking okay bro what the fuck
#Mine#Text post#KSBD#KSBD Spoilers#You know althought there's a lot of media I enjoy there's only a few pieces of media that I can genuinely say changed me as a person#(/is a foundational piece of media for me) (Those being Don Rosa- FFIX and One Piece)#((Which considdering the fact that most people would considder me a Digimon fan first and foremost says a lot))#And here's fucking. KSBD. Crawling its way into that tiny fucking group of stories#About to fundamentally change me as a person and how I view storytelling#This fucking comic man god dammit#AND NO I KNOW THIS MOMENT ISN'T EVEN THAT REVOLUTIONARY OR ANYTHING#THIS IS BASIC STORY TELLING#BUT LIKE. I DUNNO MAN IT FUCKING SHATTERED MY KNEES ANYWAYS#I'm so fucking used being completely fucking NUMB to stories and never feeling a god damn thing about anything#Just let me have this man I'm experiencing the first emotion about a story in a long time JUST LET ME HAVE THIS#(Also I may be calling this basic storytelling but being basic is fine ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DO IT THIS FUCKING GOOD)
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ugh.
#eli.txt#I KEEP FORGETTING MY EX HAS A PARTNER AND I GET SO MISERABLE ABT IT EVERYTIME I AM REMINDED.#idk. goes back to how disposable i probably am. in general. but to them especially#bc damn losing me meant absolutely nothing huh. nothing in your life changed other than not having to deal with me anymore.#nothing changed and yet me being gone made it all better huh.#idk what i expected but idk ive always been kinda disposable to most ppl i just. idk i hoped a relationship wouldve been different#like. damn! leaving me changed nothing! it just made your life better! i can fucking tell!#things always turn out this way is the thing lol everytime someone gets rid of me its like their life immediately gets better#AGFHGHGH this sucks i kinda wanna be mad at them but im NOT#IM MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT BEING MAD AT THEM WHICH IS FUCKING STUPID BUT LIKE. GOD THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING TO HARM ME#AND THAT MAKES IT SO HARD FOR ME TO FEEL NEGATIVELY TOWARDS THEM#EVEN THOUGH IM REALLY HURT BC THEYRE NOT. DOING ANYTHING. TOWARDS ME. IM HURT BC IM A FUCKING BABY THAT CANT GET OVER ANYTHING EVER#this sucks so much i fucking hate it here do you know how upsetting this is. they didnt even fucking DO anything which makes it WORSE#bc WHY am i upset they didnt even DO anything#im just like a fucking infant is what i am
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Supposed to pack all the stuff into the uhaul pods tomorrow and my aunts like oh if the movers help us be done by 1pm we should totally make the at least 7 1/2 hour drive right way instead of you know resting letting me finish my schoolwork for the week and leaving on Monday she’s trying to persuade me from staying till Monday morning by saying oh we would have to leave early as if I haven’t gotten up at 5 am to leave by 6 for a 12 hour drive before which is a heck of a lot easier than working a nearly full day and then driving at least 71/2 hours which would result in me not being able to finish my fucking school work
#she was the one who was going to leave Monday originally and I was good for that but then she’s gone and changed her fucking mind#her help never comes with out fucking strings god fucking damn
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literally just had the most unproductive and uncomfortable argument with my mother
#i hate being trans. this fucking sucks#and nothings going to change. i just made myself fucking sob for no fucking reason#shes not going to change. and shes not going to understand. she never will#why does my entire family literally fucking suck#this is the first time ive felt genuinely suicidal all year this feels worse than relapsing??? i feel like ive gone like 20 steps back#it feels as though the fucking 4 years of progress i thought i had made with her was just my imagination. foolish hope#this entire vacation has been a fucking nightmare. thank GOD tomorrow is monday#(<- damn thats a sentence i never thought I'd say)
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