#my mood has been ok lately and my anxiety has been the problem so wtf is up with this? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

janusthesneakysnakeboi · 4 years

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Moments from the new Sanders ASides video that had me screaming (or really, me screaming about the new video)

“RAIIIIID”

*Raid Thomas sounding like Roman/Remus*

“You bet your shiny metal AX”

“MASCULINITY IS A PRISON”

“Why do I pay for a membership if I still gotta watch the ads?”

THE FACT THAT THEY ALL ARE WEARING ONESIES EXCEPT THOMAS AND LOGAN BECAUSE LOGAN IS SERIOUS BOI AND THOMAS WELL,,, IS THOMAS

Also ROMAN CANONICALLY HAS LEGS***

ROMAN HAS ALL THE PILLOWS

VIRGIL IS SITTING ON A SURFACE THAT ISN’T MEANT TO BE SAT ON BUT IS SO RELATABLE BECAUSE I DO THAT EXACT THING WHAT

“Unless our problem is a hungry alligator-” “A remote possibility for a Florida dwelling man who never leaves his house”

Roman rigging the votes so it’s just Frozen and Patton is okay with that (WAIT BUT WHY IS PATTON CHILL (pun not intended) WITH IT???)

LOGAN HAD A CASUAL FALSEHOOD????

WAIT WHAT DID THE SIDES VOTE FOR??

“Thomas is in a bad place-” *camera pans to VIRGIL*

Roman calling Thomas a special snowflake

“Something good” *Frozen shows* “,,, or neutral”

“And from this point on, NO MORE NORDIC INSPIRED NUMBERS”

Virgil keep going back to the actual problem while Roman and Patton just like 90% forget the problem and Logan talks to and tries to calm Virgil

“I ALSO LOVE YOU OLAF”

“Cuties, I’m gonna keep you” “Ah you’re joking right? No you’re mine now”

“The heart is not so easily changed” “No it isn’t” *confused Patton noises*

“But, the head can be persuaded” “Can it though?” THAT SHADE AT LOGAN HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK

“Fear will be your enemy” *gay emo panic*

“So you’re saying lock her away because she’s dangerous” GOING BACK TO VIRGIL??? UH????

“JOAN!!!” They definitely wrote that line

Virgil’s mini existential crisis

Remus just yeeted up from behind the couch shirtless oh god was he jacking off to Frozen wtf

REMUS GETTING SO EXCITED ABOUT THE PARENTS DYING IS HONESTLY SO PURE EVEN THOUGH IT’S NOT AT ALL

“I SLEEP IN THE B U F F”

“Did I screw everything up?” “No I threw out your vote so you wouldn’t do that” ROMAN WHAT

Roman: *calls Frozen a Classic* Also Roman: *Makes fun of the entire movie and demands a rewrite*

“How are you telling me to settle into something right now when you’ve taken your sweet time to settle into things that you were uncomfortable with in the past” THAT SHADE!! THAT TEA!! I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THESE *THINGS* PLEASE????

Patton: Let’s relax!! :) Virgil: Bruh I legit AM Anxiety that’s not in my job description

“How many times has our response to a difficult decision been half committing to one option and subsequently panicking about whether that option is our best option until it’s too late for Thomas to change his mind?” “7,430″ MOOD

“Why have a ballroom with no balls?” *Trash boi snickers at the dick joke that wasn’t there until then* "Nope, I’m an adult” (me me big boy-)

ROMAN’S IMPERSONATION OF HIS “EVIL PLOTTING FACE” HAS BE DEAD ON THE FLOOR

“AW MAN YEAH I’M LIKE SO FUCKED UP ON CHOCOLATE FONDUE I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING RIGHT NOW” *Patton looks over, concerned* *Virgil looks over, annoyed* *Thomas glances over, lowkey amused* *Logan doesn’t even look at him and just grabs his tea*

NO TURN OFF LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOR IT’S MAKING PATTON SAD (ALSO IS HIS CONNECTION PROJECTING? AND IS ROMAN’S RESPONSE A L S O ACCURATE?)

“There’s no way she’s coming out of this situation without trust issues” honestly though yeah

“Not a footprint to be seen” “Except for the footprints behind you” “hEy YeAh” KEEP IT UP LOGAN YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE

Virgil: *Serious comment* Patton: “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see...” (did he sing the rest of the song or did he specifically choose these lines because if it’s the second one THAT CAN BE A WHOLE LOT OF ANGST AND I’M HERE FOR IT)

Logan canonically criticizes the movie at movie nights

ALSO GUYS THE VIDEO CAME OUT ON A FRIDAY SO FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE NIGHTS ARE CANON

“Do you think this ice castle has a lavatory?” “ICE TOILET” “Or a bed?” “ICE BED” “This place sounds awful”

“HE DEFINITELY FUCKS THE REINDEER” “ew”

“You meddled with the vote to ensure that we would watch this and yet you’re the one constantly making fun of it” FACTS LOGAN

“This [^] is how I show my love” WAIT A MINUTE *Looks back at the entire series* HE MADE FUN OF VIRGIL SO MUCH SO WAIT PRINXIETY??? LAMP?? DR LAMP?? (is that the ship name because that’s this video basically*

Nobody: Not a soul: Roman: OLAF’S CONTRIBUTION SHOULD HAVE COUNTED AND SAVED HER

“Like... bruh” mood

“Take care of my sister” “You’ve already done a good job of that yourself Elsa” *hood falls off*

“Ah, we’re all gossipy bitches sometimes” “nO-” (also Roman channeled so much Remy energy right there headcanon they hang out all the time change my mind)

“Oh sweet Frank Iero” I’m using that now

“Just think about it” “LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE”

“Attacking a person for opinions they don’t have doesn’t really do anybody any good” Me: BECAUSE IT DOESN’T WORK!! AYYY YOU LISTENED TO AND ARE REFERENCING LOGAN IN LAST EPISODE??? OR AM I JUST TRASH??

“Oh yeah like me kissing a man is unacceptable?” What a power move though

“AAAAALSJDFOAGHOKLNOIATYRGH” Mood

Ok but also like Virgil basically rapped like that rapid talking was as fast as a bunch of rappers and even faster than some

Logan using the grounding method that my therapist suggested gave me life

Most of Virgil’s grounding answers were existential and oof

“A sour taste in my mouth probably left over from those reheated thai noodle leftovers” *Confused faces*

“FIGURATIVELY” *DWIT has entered the chat*

“Thank you Logan” “No problem, just your cool teacher being his cool self” *sips tea* Felt that. Also I have a new reaction image now XD

“Take it from Frozen’s most inspirational song” Let it Go? “Fixer Upper” Oh but ya know what valid

“Throw a little love their way” Virgil *confused smile?? I think that’s what that is??*

“Elsa, we the villagers have thought it over and with no discussion whatsoever we’ve decided we’re not scared anymore and ice magic is actually cool as hell!!” YEAH WAIT A MINUTE OMG

Logan: *Lists all of Elsa’s powers, reading from a notebook (meaning he took notes while watching the movie which is so in character omg) and implying that there is no way any of that makes sense* Patton: Sounds okay that makes sense

“With Elsa’s seemingly unstoppable “ice powers” I’d imagine Arendelle becomes a global superpower. No military force of that time could ever stand a chance against her never ending army of ice golems”

Nobody: Not a soul: Patton: “True love is a closed door that is eventually opened up to you!”

“What if your soulmate was there” “OH SHIT” I love Roman that was all it took huh

*Deceit has entered the chat* “HISS”

“Don’t touch my shit”

I wish we got to see Deceit’s face there but I get it we couldn’t see him without his hat (except for in the bloopers videos but those don’t count) (Also they probably just didn’t wanna do the makeup for him because it’s a lot and it might’ve been a split second decision and someone else might’ve played him with Thomas just voice recording over it especially considering there’s overlap so they wouldn’t have just been able to split screen it)

“I was gonna rig the vote anyway”

“I don’t know what you’re asking”

Roman is the source of SFW fanfic and Remus is the source of NSFW fanfic and Virgil is the source of angsty fanfic

“I’m going to bed. IN THE B U F F”

THE NEW SWEATERS IM BROKE SO IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GET ME ALL OF THEM (at least just Virgil’s even though I love like all of them)

WAIT THERE’S SCARVES TOO OMG I ALSO WANT ALL OF THEM (or at least,,, nope all of them)

“We were trying to make a slightly simpler video” Video: *is longer than most of season 1′s episodes* *has full body shots of almost all the characters* *has like 5 way split scenes* *uses every side*

WAIT LOGAN BROUGHT BACK OUT HIS ONESIE I LOVE HIM and he’s still got his necktie on just underneath it amazing

This video was just LAMP and potentially DLAMP and maybe DR LAMP if that’s the ship name. There were also a bunch of really good Prinxiety, Royality, Analogical, and Roceit moments in this one so I’m expecting fanfic hella soon

Also as of right now (I finished writing this at like 4am ET) we are still #1 on trending on Tumblr

***We never see Remus’s legs in the video so my theory of there is only one set of legs for the creativitwins still stands and is valid

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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636.

Have you ever done a craft that you found on Pinterest? >> No, I don’t use Pinterest. Do you get scrapbooking layout ideas from anywhere? >> No, because I don’t scrapbook. What do you do to wipe off the dust from ordinary life? >> What? Are you content with mystery, or do you wish you knew everything? >> Mystery is one of the things that makes life interesting, for me. My curiosity and imagination needs mystery to chew on, to turn over and over in my mind. If it was just fed all the answers, it’d be bored and so would I. What do you do when someone irritates you on Facebook? >> No one irritates me on facebook. But if they did, I’d either unfollow or unfriend them.

Are you judgmental? >> I don’t encourage judgemental behaviour in myself.

Do you think your hair looks better natural or dyed? >> I think it looks healthier when natural, and that’s the most important thing. I can always wear wigs for funky colours.

Do your parents disrespect you? >> --- Have you found that love covers over a multitude of sins? >> No. It enables one to treat another’s shortcomings with grace and compassion, which is important. But if something is truly rotten, love’s not going to do shit for it. What was the last Grand Opening you went to? >> --- Do you have anything coming up tomorrow? >> All I want to do tomorrow is play video games and be comfortable in my bed. What’s one thing that makes your stomach hurt? >> Anxiety. Ever had a living nightmare? >> Er, maybe? Do you have a lot of haters? >> Not to my knowledge. I don’t think I register on most people’s radars to begin with.

Do you think successful people always come with a pack of haters? >> I mean, probably. Envy is a hell of a drug. Do you have supernatural abilities? >> Who knows what kind of abilities I have. Even I don’t know. Do you kick yourself when you make mistakes? Do you say, “I wish I would have” a lot? >> Yeah, although I’ve been trying to cut down on the self-flagellation. Are you doing the most you can with your life? >> Sure, by my standards. Do you let people walk on you? >> No. Are you ok? >> Sure. Do you have a friend you miss right now? >> No. Do you ever write snail mail to your friends? >> No. Do you make your life look better than it is on Facebook? >> I don’t post on facebook. Do you feel God’s presence regularly? >> No. For the record, I’m not attuned to that sort of presence, so I have no idea how I’d even look for it. Do you experience chronic pain? >> No. Do you believe God loves you and is rooting for you? Wtf is with all these Christian surveys lately. Are people not aware that the vast majority of the world is not Christian? <-- They’re probably from joybucket. Christian questions aside, she makes decent surveys and there’s always a shortage of those, so. Anyway, my comprehension of a capital-g God is a more panentheistic kind, so any anthropomorphic features it’d possess are because its nature is being expressed through humanity just as much as through everything else. Have you ever dreamt that you were falling? >> Probably, but more often I just have that weird falling sensation just as I’m dropping off to sleep. It hasn’t happened much lately, but it used to happen constantly. What would your dream career be? >> --- Are you a daydreamer? >> Not so much. Do you daydream so much that you wonder if there’s anyone who doesn’t? >> --- Do you ever just sit and daydream for awhile? >> No. I’m not really sure how daydreaming works. If I’m staring into space it’s because I’ve zoned out or because I’m ruminating on some conversation I had and dissecting my every misstep or something stupid like that. Is the snow falling where you are right now? >> Not where I currently am, no. But where I live, it probably is snowing. I’ll find out when I get off the plane tonight. What is your favorite part of nature? >> What isn’t my favourite part of nature. Do you wish you could be a world traveler? >> You know... not particularly. Not to say that I don’t love seeing new places, and not to say that I don’t want to go to other countries, because I do. But it’s just not so much a priority to me anymore. I’m just as happy watching Anthony Bourdain do it. (Also, sensory defensiveness and related problems has really begun to impede on my enjoyment of travel.) Do you wish you could live in another city for a year? >> I mean, sure. I just can’t imagine what situation would lead to that. What city would you like to visit? >> Oh, you know. Any one will do. What has been your favorite city that you’ve visited? >> New Orleans. If you had kids, would you take them to Disney World? >> I wouldn’t take kids to Disney World, I’d take myself. I’ve never gone and I’m curious about it. Have you ever stood in line to get a Disney character’s autograph? >> No. Do you own a birthday crown? >> No. How long does it usually take your hair to dry? Do you dry it naturally or blow-dry it? >> My hair is very short so it takes like 10 minutes. Do you straighten your hair? >> No. Do you sleep with a teddy bear? >> I sleep with two teddy bears and an assortment of other animals. Would you consider yourself a free spirit? >> I don’t really know what that means. Do you need to clean out your closet? >> --- Do you watch YouTube videos regularly? >> Sure. What’s your favorite coffee shop? >> --- Is your Pinterest page cluttered? >> --- Do you want to start a collection? >> No. Are you a role model? Would you consider yourself a good example? >> No. Are you a leader or a follower? >> I’m just... a person, man. My roles change depending on the situation. Who’s your favorite person? >> --- Who have been your favorite American Idol contestants? >> --- Did you used to name your Barbies? >> I don’t remember if they had names. What unnatural hair color looks best on you? >> I prefer silver on me. Is your life boring? >> It can be, but I like it the way it is. Do you usually feel better around people or alone? >> Alone is usually my default comfort zone. Is there a broken relationship in your life that you want to fix? >> No. Do you ever think about Heaven? >> Occasionally, because it seems like such an... unlikely kind of afterlife. Are you ready for Heaven yet? >> lmao did you just ask me if I’m ready to die Are you afraid of where you’re going to go? >> I really hope I can get that mushroom suit for my corpse. Do you have a tree outside your window? >> No. Do you feel better now than you did last night? >> Well, which part of last night? When I was at the after-party, I felt great. When I got back to the motel, I was super tired from all the drinking and socialising, so I felt a little crappy. I feel fine now. Is your sleep schedule messed up? >> Kind of, because I just spent two nights in a different time zone and away from my own bed. But it’s nothing a few nights back home won’t fix. Does your body have any problems with it? >> *shrug* Are you doing ok spiritually? >> Relatively. Have you taken any huge risks lately? >> Well, I guess coming down here was a bit of a risk financially, but it worked out. Silence or songs? >> Depends on what I’m in the mood for. Tea or coffee? >> Tea. Books or movies? >> Both. Do you ever watch your favorite movies from when you were a kid? >> Sure. ^If you were going to do that, what would you watch? >> The Prince of Egypt, definitely. The Pagemaster is a lot of fun to rewatch, too. Also, Labyrinth, of course. Do you ignore rude people or do you call them out? >> I usually ignore them. It’s less effort. Do you have trouble staying organized? >> No. What has been your most favorite adventure? >> I don’t really know. What has been your greatest mistake? >> *shrug* Are you happy with your life right now? >> Sure. Do you take anything to make your feel better? >> CBD oil kind of functions that way for me, in a not-very-dramatic way. Are your parents still together? >> They never were. What color socks do you have on? >> Grey with a Halloween design on them. Are you under a blanket right now? >> No. Are you hopeful? >> About what....?

#surveys #survey #random survey

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find-the-eyes · 5 years

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I’ll Try Anything Once: Chapter 18

Written by: Allegra, Sol, ss Edited by: ss, Allegra

A week later, the four men found themselves crammed together in a tiny booth at an Indian restaurant. Alex had suggested they all go out to dinner together sometime after band practice, “you know, like a… bonding session,” as he had put it. Paul and Bob had agreed, though not without raised eyebrows and some snickering. Nick hadn’t said anything, still mildly frightened of being out in a public place, but Alex had figured that Nick would probably go anywhere that Alex went.

The waiter delivered beers to Paul, Bob, and Alex and a glass of water to Nick before he took their orders. Alex, sensing Nick’s anxiety, went ahead and ordered his dinner for him. Paul raised his eyebrows slightly at this. He was aware of Nick and Alex’s arrangement, sure, but it still struck him as odd that Alex seemed to be doing literally everything for him. He decided that tonight, he would get some answers.

Paul glanced across the table at Nick, who was sitting alarmingly close to Alex. Paul tried to figure out why, but he couldn’t. Bob even seemed a bit uncomfortable when he saw how close they were. He glanced up at Paul with a concerned look on his face, but Paul just shrugged it off.

“Nick?” Paul asked, nudging Bob under the table. Nick looked up, his blue eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “You’ve been going to class lately?”

Nick nodded.

“You’re really good on the keyboard.” Paul offered him a smile.

“T… Thanks…” Nick didn’t really know what to say to that, but wanted to be polite. If there was one thing Nick wanted to do, it was to come off as perfectly normal.

“Aw, come on, don’t be so shy!” Paul tried to lighten the mood, but Nick just looked down, studying the crumbs on the table.

Paul wasn’t jealous, really. Although yes, conceptually, he would have liked to have had someone who helped him when he was in a rough situation, he didn’t like that Nick was acting the way he was. Paul had been through nearly the same ordeal and could still function like a proper member of society, so why couldn’t Nick? Why did Nick refuse to make eye contact and stutter when he spoke? While Alex and Bob made small talk, Paul fished his cell phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.

PAUL: wtf is wrong with Nick?

Alex felt his cell phone buzz. He pulled it out of his jacket pocket slightly to check the screen, frowning when he saw that it was a text from Paul. He made a face and slipped the phone back into his pocket.

Paul rolled his eyes and opened his phone again, hiding it under the edge of the table.

PAUL: answer me

PAUL: Alex

PAUL: Alex check your phone

Alex’s phone buzzed repeatedly. He looked up to see Paul glaring at him across the table. Alex got the hint and pulled his phone from the pocket of his jacket.

ALEX: Stop wasting my texts.

ALEX: And I really don’t know, honestly.

PAUL: well you should, if he’s going to be living with you

PAUL: if he’s going to be depending on you for everything

ALEX: Relax, Paul.

Alex looked up to see Bob trying to start a conversation with Nick about his ideas for the next jam session. Nick began to suggest something, but stopped halfway through his sentence.

PAUL: you should ask him why he’s so fucked up then

ALEX: That’s not very nice.

ALEX: You can ask, if you’re really so curious.

Paul sighed, snapping his phone shut. Nick and Bob both looked up, startled by the sudden noise. Nick opened his mouth to speak, but before he could make a sound, Paul leaned across the table and stared at him. “What is your problem?”

Nick’s mouth was still hanging open as he processed Paul’s words. “I--” he started to say, and then simply closed his mouth and looked down at his lap. The world blurred around him. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t respond to the question— so simple, but so complex at the same time. What is my problem? Nick inhaled sharply, trying to keep the tears from welling in his eyes. What the fuck is wrong with me? I was so normal, for my entire life, until— Nick was interrupted by Paul starting again.

Paul leaned back, unfazed by Nick’s reaction. “I just don’t get it. You can barely get out a sentence half the time, and Alex--” he glanced in his direction “--does everything for you. You gotta think for yourself sometimes, you know?” He looked at Nick and continued, a little more softly, “What the hell happened to you? Why are you like this?”

Nick’s hands began to shake. Before he could stop himself, his eyes filled with tears and he choked out a sob. He stood up from the booth and ran out of the restaurant. Alex immediately leaped out of his seat and followed him, shooting Paul a dirty look over his shoulder.

Bob stared at the scene unfolding before him, mouth agape. His confusion quickly turned to anger. He whipped his head around to face Paul. “What the fuck was that for?!”

Paul looked down, his face burning. But then he looked up again, voice defensive. “I just wanted to know what his deal was! Don’t you feel like he’s...strange?”

“Well, yeah, but you could have asked more politely!” Bob spat, folding his arms across his chest.

“I know,” Paul said quietly. Only then did he realize that what he did was wrong. “I fucked up.”

“You really did,” Bob agreed. “He’s done nothing to you to deserve that kind of treatment. You owe him an apology.”

Paul nodded and cradled his face in his hands.

Meanwhile, outside of the cozy Indian establishment, Alex found Nick in an alleyway, standing against the brick wall hugging his chest. He was crying quietly, tears pouring down his cheeks, his breathing unsteady. Alex immediately came up next to him and wrapped his arms around him. “Hey...I’m here...it’s ok...shhhhh...” He cradled Nick in his arms until he could feel his breathing evening out. Alex pulled away and looked down at him.

Nick’s voice shook. “Why did… why did he say that?”

Alex closed his eyes. “I don’t know. That’s not the Paul I know.”

Nick shook his head. That wasn’t the Paul he knew, either. It wasn’t the Paul who welcomed him during the jam session, or the Paul in Alex’s sketchbook.

“Listen, I…I don’t think he meant anything by it,” Alex said, trying to reassure himself as much as he was trying to reassure Nick. “I think he just doesn’t understand why you are the way you are.” I don’t even know that, Alex’s brain chimed in. He pushed that thought away.

“I don’t...I can’t tell him,” Nick said, rubbing his eyes.

You can’t tell me either. He nearly let that sentence escape his lips before thinking better of it. “You don’t have to. Let’s go back inside and talk to him. Just...tell him that you don’t want to talk about it.”

Nick nodded. “Okay.”

Alex let go of Nick and they walked back inside to their booth. Their food had been delivered and Bob had already begun to dig in. Paul sat and stared at his plate, pushing the chicken and sauce around in circles, not eating. They both looked up as Nick and Alex sat down. Alex cleared his throat.

Paul looked into Nick’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said, before Nick could even get a word out. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. You didn’t deserve that. It won’t happen again.”

Nick simply nodded.

“Look, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but...I understand. I’ve been through some stuff myself. And it’s okay if you need Alex’s help to do things,” he added hastily. I wish someone had been there to help me when I needed it, Paul couldn’t help but think.

Nick smiled faintly and placed his hand on Alex’s knee under the table. “It’s okay.”

Paul smiled back and picked up his fork. “S’pose we should eat before everything gets cold, yeah?”

As much as they all wanted to dwindle back into normal conversation, the air around them was still slightly tense, making the whole scene rather awkward. Paul silently cursed at himself for letting his emotions slip up and making a scene, while Alex found that he had to put in extra effort to even pretend to be engrossed in his meal, despite how good it looked and how genuinely tasty it was. Bob hadn’t spoken a word since he had told Paul off. Nick just wanted to hide from the world, eating slowly, taking small bites when no one was looking. He thought about how he could pocket the fork, examining his options. It could easily fit in his jacket pocket, and Alex had mentioned wanting new utensils, anyway…

They all ate their meals in silence, the only noises made up of cutlery clinking together and a sportscaster talking on the television. Since Alex was facing the television in the corner of the room, he absentmindedly watched whatever sport the hosts were excitedly chattering about. Nick was slowly pushing around the contents of his plate before he snuck a nervous glance at Alex, looking for comfort. But instead he saw how engrossed Alex was at whatever was on the television and decided to take a look himself. Soon Nick was also absorbed in the horse race currently taking place on the live television broadcast. The galloping horses quickly replaced all the worry in his mind.

Alex had never been one to enjoy sports, neither as a participant nor as a spectator. But for some reason the horse race had enraptured him. Perhaps he was just desperate to find anything to distract him from the previous event, but he found himself leaning slightly forward, his hand gripping slightly tighter at his utensils in anticipation as the race drew to a finish. A single brown mare had taken the lead, and Alex felt his heart hammer as the horse majestically galloped its way to the finish line.

“...And Franz Ferdinand has won the race!” the enthusiastic sport announcer had exclaimed. Alex pumped his fist under the table, hissing a Yes! under his breath. Nick, who was as engrossed as Alex at the match, let out his own sigh of relief at the winning horse. Bob and Paul took notice of this and turned their heads to the screen Alex and Nick were currently staring at.

“Didn’t take you as the sporty type,” Paul chimed, his focus already back at the table. Bob was still watching the screen, muttering something to himself.

“Well, I’m not. But that was fun,” Alex replied, continuing his abandoned meal. Nick followed suit, still silent as ever. Bob finally turned around and faced the table again.

“That name sounds familiar...” he muttered.

“What does?”

“The winning horse’s name. What was it again?” Bob turned his head back to the television, hoping the name would pop on screen again.

“Frans Fernando or something...” Alex tried to remember.

“Franz Ferdinand!” Bob corrected Alex, snapping his fingers in eureka.

“Whossat?” Paul asked between chews.

“The Austrian archduke. You know, the guy whose assassination triggered World War I,” Bob explained matter of factly. When Bob wasn’t busy painting, he had favored himself reading. It was nice that he finally had the chance to tell people about his findings.

“I thought it all started in Poland?” Alex interjected.

“No, that’s World War 2,” Bob calmly responded.

“It’s a nice name,” Paul chimed in again.

“Franz Ferdinand?” Alex said, trying to pronounce it more properly this time. He looked at Bob as he did so, seeking approval. A small nod from Bob assured him that he was correct this time. All the while, Nick was still nibbling on his food, silently watching the interaction in interest.

“I wish my name was as cool as that,” Paul said. Bob gave Paul a small smile.

“I like your name as it is, Paul.” At this, Paul returned Bob’s smile. He thought he saw Bob’s cheeks turning a brighter pink, but it might have just been the dim interior lighting. Alex suddenly sat up straighter in his seat.

“We can use it for our band!” The brown haired man’s eyes lit up. Paul raised his eyebrows in interest while Bob tilted his head. Nick, who had been intently watching Alex for most of the meal, perked up from his seat in interest at the mention of the band.

“Franz Ferdinand the band...” Paul tried to feel the name on his lips. He said it over and over again, trying to get the hang of it.

“It does have a nice ring to it,” Bob offered his two cents on the matter. Alex nodded in agreement before looking to Nick, who had been looking his way. Their eyes immediately met.

“What do you think, Nick?”

Nick blinked a few times. He quite liked the name. But even if Alex had offered a less than desirable name he’d still agree to it, as he was happy enough he had someone to play music with at all, so he nodded. When Alex grinned at the response, Nick smiled back.

“Yeah, alright.” Paul finally decided on his answer.

Alex clapped his hands together. “Then it’s decided! We’re Franz Ferdinand now!”

Paul raised his glass to this. “To Franz Ferdinand!”

“Franz Ferdinand!” Bob and Alex joined in, raising their own glass. Nick had raised his own as well, though he said the name in such a low volume that only Alex beside him could hear. They all took a sip of their own drinks in celebration. As Alex lowered his glass, he glanced over at Nick and placed a hand on the smaller man’s knee, giving it an assuring squeeze.

The night continued for a while longer, the four of them enjoying each other’s company. A sense of camaraderie as a group was present the moment they had decided on a band name. It felt like a huge stepping stone for them as a band. Suddenly, everything felt more real and serious, and while it might mark a drastic change in perspective on how they viewed their ensuing jam sessions, they all felt hopeful for the future of their band.

As Nick got up from the table after they had all paid their bills, he slipped the fork into his pocket. God damn it. I’ve got to stop doing that.

#illtryanythingonce #allfanfic #franz ferdinand

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josai · 7 years

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someone i once knew

This one is for @paradoxicalpsychic ! Thank you so much for so much encouragement and prompts!! Read on AO3 here!

Talking has never been Aomine’s strong suit.

Words just… aren’t easy.

Aomine is brash and abrasive; he says whatever is on his mind, and really doesn’t give a shit about the consequences. You don’t like being told the truth right to your face? Tough. He’s not the kind to sugarcoat things, because he honestly just doesn’t see the point in it.

If he’s being honest, his nature has always been a cause of strain in his relationships. Some of his friends have gone, not willing to put up with it; the few who have stuck around have helped dull the edges around his personality, but he’s never going to be a nice guy. It’s just not who he is.

But since his poor attitude has lost him the only relationship he ever really wanted to try for - well, he has realized that he can’t keep living his life this way.

Still, though, when confronted with someone, the words that he really wants to say, the ones buried deep, they really struggle to come out. When he’s forced into social interactions, he just reverts back to old habits.

It’s a lot easier talking to someone… not face-to-face.

He’s only been talking to Tiger for about a month now, but it feels like he’s grown closer to him - to this friend online that he’s never actually met - than anyone else in a very long time. It was a good decision to move to the American servers one afternoon when he’d had just about enough of shit on his own.

Now, if you ask Aomine, he’s still not exactly sure how it happened. It started in a game of Overwatch, online - grouping up after a good competitive game, and playing together for a couple of hours. They added each other as friends, which lead to chatting in-game - which then turned into exchanging contact information and messaging each other.

What began as a simple message of “Game tonight?” has evolved to so, so much more.

They talk about everything and anything. It’s like nothing is off-limits - whatever they’re thinking about, whatever comes to mind. Things they’re watching on tv. Stress at work. Friends, family. They can talk without worrying about anything, because Aomine knows that Tiger’s not going to judge him. Why would he? They don’t know each other in real life. Their opinions really don’t matter, at the end of the day.

When it really comes down to it, if Tiger and he ever really had a disagreement, they could just stop talking to each other, and that would be it. No awkward hellos in the elevator, no having to see one another at parties - none of it.

Maybe that’s the beauty of it.

Not that Aomine would want to do that, though. He’s actually managed to… open up. He’s told Tiger about a lot of things that he’s hardly talked about with his friends. His struggle with anxiety; his fears of not being able to hold down a proper relationship. Hell, he’s even told him about his ex!

He never imagined being able to open up about Kagami. The two dated for only six months, and it was such an emotional roller coaster for Aomine. The two were just awful at communicating with each other, selfish and unforgiving. They probably shouldn’t have even tried - the timing was awful, and they both just had too much happening in their lives - but they wanted to. Aomine wanted to, because he loved him, and when things were good, they did make each other happy.

If only Aomine could have been honest with him. If only he hadn’t pushed him away when he was injured and pulled out of the world of professional basketball. If only he’d trusted, maybe things would have ended differently -

Aomine’s run over every situation in his head, despite the fact that he knows it’s not going to ever really be fixed. He can’t go back in time, and they’ve been over for more than six years now. He’s pretty sure Kagami isn’t even in town anymore, anyway.

It’s been almost freeing to have an outside perspective, to have someone else tell him that he’s not a monster for breaking up with him. That it takes two.

Between the two of them, conversation just comes simply, easily.

He finds himself reaching for his phone a lot, and he doesn’t particularly want to stop.

They have a lot in common. They both play video games, sure, but they also both like basketball - even though they have different favourite NBA teams - they watch the same shows on television, and they have similar personalities. Hell, they even both work as firefighters, albeit on different sides of the world.

After a long day at work, Aomine heads home and goes straight for the couch. He flops down, falling into the fabric easily; it’s comforting, and he flips over on his back to get more comfortable. He contemplates turning on the television, but there’s no game on that he needs to see, and he doesn’t feel like listening to cooking show repeats as background noise.

He hesitates, before pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. It lights up in his hands, indicating a new discord message, so he opens it up right away.

[10tigerprincess]: i swear to god, if i have to hear my boss mispronounce my name one more time, i’m gonna lose it

[10tigerprinces]: and the court by my place is still under constructions so i cant even do that ffs

Aomine laughs, shaking his head. He doesn’t even need to think, his reply coming out easily.

[jamparadise]: still? It’s been what - two weeks already?

[10tigerprincess]: yeah i’m starting to get real fuckin tilted

[10tigerprincess]: won’t ever be able to practice at this rate

[jamparadise]: dw you wont ever be able to beat me anyways

[10tigerprincess]: i look forward to proving you wrong

[10tigerprincess]: but you still gotta send me a clip of that “special shot” of yours you say you can do, ok? i’ll believe it’s kickass when i see it

[jamparadise]: sure, remind me after i eat

[10tigerprincess]: takeout again?

[jamparadise]: fuck you

[jamparadise]: i’m too tired to cook

[10tigerprincess]: canned soup isnt cooking either but ok

[10tigerprincess]: do you even eat vegetables?

[jamparadise]: this burger definitely has lettuce on it

[10tigerprincess]: this is why i worry about you

[jamparadise]: haha, hilarious

[10tigerprincess]: i’m serious

Aomine rolls his eyes, and takes a big bite of his burger. He slides back a little further on the couch, and exhales; it’s been a while since he’s had one. He doesn’t eat them too often, but a good cheeseburger is just what he needs, every once in a while.

[jamparadise]: nah, well, it’s a place my ex used to like. i don’t go there much now that we aren’t together anymore.

[10tigerprincess]: why not? Is here there a lot?

[jamparadise]: i haven’t seen him there but, it’s just… i guess i’m scared i’ll run into him

[10tigerprincess]: hasn’t it been, like, a few years?

[jamparadise]: yea but still, idk

[10tigerprincess]: are you still pining?

[jamparadise]: fuck no!

[10tigerprincess]: aw, it’s cute

[jamparadise]: oh stfu. are we gonna play tonight or what?

[10tigerprincess]: yeah sure, i probably won’t be home until late tho, so long as that’s okay

[jamparadise]: no problem. just text me a couple of times if i dont respond right away.

[10tigerprincess]: gonna nap?

[jamparadise]: i think so. worked the morning shift so i’m exhausted

[10tigerprincess]: ok, i’ll text you, have a good rest

[jamparadise]: thanks princess

[10tigerprincess]: i will cut you

[jamparadise]: don’t work too hard

[jamparadise]: royalty really shouldn’t

[10tigerprincess]: ffs jam

Aomine snorts, and finishes up the rest of his cheeseburger. It’s good - he needs to remember to go there more often. If he runs into Kagami - fine. They’re not kids anymore, so he probably isn’t holding a grudge… right?

He finishes his food, and contemplates moving to bed - but that really seems like too much work - so he stretches out on his couch, legs hanging off the end because it’s really too small of a space for him. He turns on his phone, to pick some music to listen to while he sleeps, but remembers that clip he said he’d send to Tiger.

It’s been a while since he’s seriously practiced some basketball moves, but there’s one he just can’t seem to get right. He doesn’t have anyone to practice with seriously around home, either - anyone who will, is still far below his level, even though he stopped training long ago - so it’s just him and the court. The last time he was there he had Satsuki record a clip of him trying it out - maybe Tiger will be able to give him some pointers on what he could be doing better. So he sends the clip over, and opens up his music for some good rainy mood music. It always puts him to sleep.

He drops his phone down on the coffee table, and closes his eyes. Sleep tugs at his senses almost immediately - he’s been overworking himself lately and he knows it, but he has to. He can almost taste his next promotion. He’s been at the edge of it, of moving up to supervisor, which he feels like it’s time for. He just has to keep at it.

It feels like no time at all has passed when the sound of his ringtone fills his ears - it’s a loud song from an artist he recently discovered, with a heavy beat that always wakes him up. Groggily, he blinks a couple of times, before stretching his long limbs up and grabbing his cell phone. He turns it on, stumbling through his passcode, before it opened up to reveal the messages.

17 unread messages.

What the fuck?

He opens them up, and finds that half of them are from Satsuki, who has a habit of sending texts with just a single word on each line, so it’s really just one message. But the rest are from Tiger.

[10tigerprincess]: are you serious?

[10tigerprincess]: i just got that video

[10tigerprincess]: thats you?

[10tigerprincess]: is this a joke?

What is he getting on about? Aomine ignores the rest of the messages and instead types a new reply.

[jamparadise]: uh yeah, it is. wtf? whats wrong with you?

[10tigerprincess]: seriously???

[10tigerprincess]: youre fucking with me, right?

[jamparadise]: no??? wtf dude??

[10tigerprincess]: oh.

[jamparadise]: whats your problem??

[10tigerprincess]: no. no problem.

[jamparadise]: ???

[10tigerprincess]: nevermind. It was just impressive

[jamparadise]: well i told you so

[10tigerprincess]: dont let it go to your head

[10tigerprincess]: but why didnt you to pro?? seems like you could have

[jamparadise]: no, can’t. got injured right after hs when they were scouting...can still play but not at a pro level anymore

[10tigerprincess]: oh… i’m sorry

[jamparadise]: dont be, ive made my peace with it

[jamparadise]: you done being weird now? you still want to play?

[10tigerprincess]: sure, give me 10. just finishing my food. wanted to make sure you were awake.

[jamparadise]: alright, cool. i’ll warm up.

Aomine stares down at his phone, still confused, but shakes it off. Maybe Tiger thought he wasn’t being serious about being good at basketball.

Well, now he knows the truth about that, at least.

He heads over to the computer, logging on, and promptly forgets all about the weirdness as they get lost in an evening of gaming.

Work gets busier, which means Aomine has less and less time to spend online. Some days he manages to answer Tiger’s messages, other days not - his friend doesn't seem to be bothered by it, but always makes sure to check in a few times a day, just to make sure everything is okay.

When he finally gets a three-day weekend - which is practically unheard of, but it comes as a sort of bonus with his new promotion - Aomine spends the first day sleeping until long in the afternoon. It’s after three by the time he manages to shake himself awake, drowsy and dazed, but feeling good and rested - finally.

Not ready to stand up, he reaches for his phone and it lights up; he’s got a few messages, which he answers pretty quickly. A few buddies from work, Satsuki, and - Tiger.

He’s worried, again, and Aomine can understand why. He knows he’d be worried if the situations were reversed - so he wants to quell that.

[jamparadise]: hey, i’m awake. pretty sure i just slept for 12 hours straight

[10tigerprincess]: feeling human again?

[jamparadise]: yeah, i’ll be back to normal once i shower

[jamparadise]: still smell like smoke... idk if i’ll ever get used to how it clings to you

[10tigerprincess]: idk, probably not

[jamparadise]: well, whatever, it’s easy enough to get rid of

[10tigerprincess]: for some reason i feel like youre the kind of guy who uses a million bath products anyway

[jamparadise]: wtf no, only like 4

[10tigerprincess]: 4?

[jamparadise]: dont believe the “hair and body wash” bullshit, that shits not good for your hair or your skin

[10tigerprincess]: well i’m fucked

[jamparadise]: you won’t be, unless you get your shit together

[10tigerprincess]: thanks for the advice tips

[jamparadise]: first one’s free, after that it’s $50 a pop

[10tigerprincess]: you’re expensive

[jamparadise]: you get what you pay for

[jamparadise]: i’m not some cheap ten dollar experience

[10tigerprincess]: i see that, high-class

[10tigerprincess]: well what’s your plan for today? wanna game?

[jamparadise]: fuck yeah, im ready for an 8 hour marathon

[jamparadise]: be on in 30

He’s ready to move his body by the time he gets out of bed; he makes his way to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and stepping into the shower. He uses his six products in the shower - Tiger doesn’t need to know the whole truth - coming out of the shower and taking his time in putting on a pair of clean, warm clothes to lounge around in. It’s an old pair, from back in the training academy - they’re worn and hang a little low on his hips, but he likes how soft they are.

Food seems like a lot of work, but Aomine knows that if he doesn’t eat something proper that he’s going to get an earful from Tiger about it. He raids his fridge, and finds some leftover rice. He may not be a chef, but even he can cut up some vegetables and fry them up with the rice. It’s a quick and easy meal; in no time he has a bowl full of food that he sets down on his desk, grabbing a cold bottle of beer to go with it.

He plops down into his chair - which yes, he spent way too much money on, but it’s comfy as hell when he spends hours in it - and crosses his legs, starting up his dishwater computer. It churns to life, slowly, as he pulls out his phone.

[jamparadise]: starting up my comp now. you good?

[10tigerprincess]: yeah

[10tigerprincess]: can we talk on mic today?

[jamparadise]: huh? sure i guess?

[10tigerprincess]: i mean it’ll be easier than typing during the game

[jamparadise]: yeah i guess that’s true.

Aomine shrugs; he really doesn’t care, he just can’t be bothered to set up his headset half of the time, and Tiger never has his on so they don’t use it. He gets up to get it, digging it out of his tech cupboard, before coming back and plugging it all in. By the time he’s ready, his computer is up and he starts up the game. He’s fixing his headphones around his ears when the main menu loads, and he’s immediately thrown an invite.

10tigerprincess invited you to a group. Press Y to accept, N to decline.

He clicks on Y and as soon as they’re in group chat, he hears a bit of static, and then what has to be Tiger’s voice fills his ears.

“Hey,” he says, and his voice resonates somewhere in Aomine. They’ve never voice chatted before, but for some reason he sounds so familiar… so wholesome. His voice is deep, and masculine; it shows his age, but in a good way - they’re not teenagers. It brings a smile to Aomine’s face.

“Hey yourself,” Aomine answers, picking up his bowl of fried rice.

“How’s it going?” Tiger asks, his voice easing as the microphone settles in picking up the sounds, but he sounds.. A little weird. Well, not that Aomine has much to compare to, but his voice sounds hesitant, almost. He must be on open mic, because Aomine can hear the sound of his keystrokes, and his mouse moving across the desk. It sounds like he doesn’t have a mousepad.

“Great,” he answers, a mouth full of food. He chews, and swallows it down with a heavy sigh. “I’m home now, so that’s good.”

Tiger makes a hum to show that he’s listening, but he doesn’t say anything. Aomine can hear him clicking on his keyboard.

With no answer, Aomine keeps on talking. He’s never been one to be too quiet. “Hey, what’s up with the voice chat? I thought you hated using mics.”

“What?” Tiger clears his throat, “Oh, uh, I never had a good mic before. But I bought one this morning.”

“You bought one? Why?” Aomine finishes the last of his rice, dropping his bowl on the side of his desk with a loud clank. Tiger tuts in annoyance before answering.

“Well, I don’t know, it just seemed like a good idea.” He huffs, sounding almost annoyed, and the sound amuses Aomine. He wants to push it a little bit further-

But, then he hears another soft sigh, and he relents. He’ll torture him another day.

“Sure, it is.” Aomine nods, and their queue ends, throwing them into a quick play match to warm up. Aomine thinks something is off when Tiger picks Torbjorn to warm up with - he’s pretty strictly a tank main, and it’s a character he hardly chooses, but he doesn’t question it. Aomine makes his selection, and the game starts.

It’s a good thing they’re just warming up, because Tiger is all over the place - missing shots, standing still and getting killed, not contesting the payload - all things he would have ripped someone apart for doing, on a normal day.

As the game ends with the inevitable Defeat , Aomine breaks the silence. “Everything okay?”

“Hm?” Tiger hums, before inhaling sharply. “‘Course. Just warming up.”

“Right,” he nods, “you just don’t usually suck so damn hard.”

Tiger snorts, and the atmosphere relaxes; Aomine breathes a little bit easier in their second game when Kagami goes back to choosing characters he’s good with. Aomine, like the little shit he is, has to annoy the entire team with his Hanzo pick. It’s great.

Chatting comes easy, during the game - not a lot, but there’s some in-between enemy callouts, and cursing whoever’s killed them last.

They’re in the middle of a match, Aomine is concentrating heavily on getting some sniper kills, when a sound breaks his concentration and he misses, getting counter-sniped instead. He curses under his breath, shaking his head; but he still hears it, a quiet, soft hum coming from his headset.

Tiger is humming . Aomine has no idea what the song is - probably some American pop song, which Aomine can’t be bothered to follow, despite his English being pretty decent - but there’s something about it that just strikes a chord in him-

Oh, wait.

Kagami used to hum.

Fuck.

Aomine sighs, hesitating as his character spawns back into the game. He hasn’t thought about Kagami much at all lately - not now that he’s been so busy with work, and he’s had Tiger to hang out with on his down-time - and he isn’t ready to think about him now.

“Jam? What are you doing?” The humming stops and Tiger speaks, jarring Aomine out of his thoughts. “Are you disconnecting? Lagging? You and your damn ping-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Aomine reassures him, shaking his head. He moves just in time before he gets booted for inactivity, and tries to shake off that familiar feeling, to no avail. They fall back into the game - Tiger keeps humming, and Aomine’s nerves are on edge for a little while, until it actually starts to relax him.

Tiger doesn’t seem to notice Aomine’s distress, thankfully, and they win the game; one victory turns into three, and Aomine is pleased that they’re on a winning streak. They’re just about to win their first match when somebody on the other team starts shit talking them in the chat; of course, both Tiger and Aomine are quick to respond, snorting and laughing at the salt and just how bad this unfortunate player is.

jamparadise: gg eeeez

jamparadise: I'm wrestling with some insecurity issues in my life but thank you all for playing with me.

Handsoap: fkin toxic

10tigerprincess: the only one who can beat me is me

Aomine freezes.

His heart is somewhere between his throat and his chest cavity, and his voice comes out strained. “What did you just say?”

“Huh?” Tiger sounds confused, and he probably is - Aomine doesn’t remember saying that, hasn’t really since he quit basketball, so there’s no way he could know - “We both played the same character, and I wrecked. He’s just gotta deal.” He snorts a laugh, and crunches down on whatever snack he’s eating, chips or popcorn in some ridiculous American quantity, probably.

“I’ll be right back,” Aomine spits out, and promptly mutes his mic. He ignores Tiger’s voice on the other end, pulling off his headphones and dropping them down on his desk with a loud clank.

He heads to the bathroom to splash water on his face, but it doesn’t do anything to help calm his nerves, or ease the churning in his stomach.

They lose the next game.

Every time they play from that point on, Tiger uses his mic.

Aomine comes to enjoy the sound of his voice, although he doesn’t stop getting little reminders of things that he liked.

Things that he misses.

After a long day and some games, they sit on Discord and just… talk.

It’s been a couple of hours now since they finished playing and turned off the game, but neither one has hung up. They talk about nothing, but also anything - Aomine doesn’t feel like he’s having to force the conversation, either. Topics come up naturally, or Tiger steers the conversation in a new direction.

“You sleeping okay now?” Tiger asks, voice light. He remembers everything Aomine tells him - he can tell he’s listening, because it’s been almost a month since he mentioned his difficulties sleeping.

“Eh,” Aomine shrugs, even though Tiger can’t see it. “Better than before, but still not great. Usually at least a few hours in the night.” It’s better when I fall asleep after listening to you talk, he thinks, but there’s no way he’s saying that out loud.

“Any idea what’s causing it?”

“Not sure exactly.” Aomine shifts, finding a comfortable spot, crossing his legs on his chair. “It was never great. Got worse when I quit basketball; got better for a while, but the last couple of months have been rough at work, so it’s probably that.”

“Ah, yeah,” Tiger hums, “That’ll do it. We had a bad fire about six months ago? I still dream about it sometimes.” He pauses, and then holds back a bit of laughter. “You know what actually really helped?”

“What?”

“Nature documentaries. I don’t know what it is - but something about just watching something peaceful while falling asleep was just… nice? It sounds even more stupid when I say it out loud,” he laughs, full-bodied and wholesome, the sound resonating deep within Aomine, somewhere, “I’m pretty sure I watched every documentary narrated by David Attenborough within the span of like, a month. I’d just put them on before bed. Sometimes it was just background noise, to fill the quiet of the apartment. Other times I’d watch and just let myself think about nothing else. I’ve got a whole shelf that’s just for nature videos.”

“Are you serious?” Aomine laughs, shaking his head. That was not what he expected to hear - but at the same time, it completely fits, and it feels so real. “How many of these documentaries are about tigers?”

A chuckle, and, “Only about six.”

Aomine snorts, “Only?”

“I like tigers, okay?”

“Yeah, I got that, princess. ” He snickers, enjoying the way that Tiger lets out a huge, annoyed sigh. “Still can’t believe that name. I was hopin’ it’d be some hot chick, but then as soon as you started typing, it was so clear that wasn’t you.”

“Were you disappointed?” Tiger asks, and it’s meant to come off casual, but he sounds almost concerned.

“Disappointed? Fuck no. This is even better. Now I know there’s a very masculine firefighter who willingly lets people on the Internet call him Princess .” Tiger lets out a full-bodied laugh, and the sound brings a smile to his face.

“Well, good. Because I… kind of have something I want to tell you.” He inhales, and if Aomine didn’t know any better, he’d think he was nervous.

“Yeah?” Aomine holds back a yawn against the back of his hand; he’s tired, he worked a full shift today and then came online to play with Tiger, as this was one of the few times that worked with their time zone differences.

“I’m coming to Japan, and I’d like to meet up.”

Aomine freezes. “...What?”

“Yeah,” Tiger clears his throat, voice picking up, “I have family there, and there’s a funeral I need to come back for - nobody that I really even knew, so it’s okay, but, since I’m going to be there, I was thinking, if you want to…”

Silence drops down heavily, but Aomine doesn’t have to even consider his reply. “Yeah. I want to.”

Things move in fast-forward after that.

Tiger tells him he’s coming in a week and a half - the funeral is just outside of Tokyo, so it isn’t far from where Aomine lives and works. Aomine has to trade half of his soul and McDonalds breakfast for two weeks just to get the days off on such short notice, but he knows it’ll be worth it.

His apartment isn’t too big of a disaster - he’s gotten not half-bad at cleaning, really - but he still spends his day off cleaning things up. He isn’t even sure if they’ll end up here, TIger hasn’t shared his plans yet, other than where they’ll meet up, in five days time.

He’s nervous, even though he doesn’t know why .

Tiger knows that he can be a shithead sometimes. He’s talked him off the edge, he’s provided him comfort after a long, grueling week of work; he’s worried about him, he’s been his friend. They talk shit together daily. He knows what he’s getting into.

Right?

Besides, they’re just friends.

Right?

He feels sixteen again, nerves alight with anticipation as he pours over possibilities for things that they can do together. He knows that Tiger likes basketball - they could head down to the court by his house, maybe shoot some hoops. Food? That’s always good. He’s probably not staying long. He didn’t tell Aomine when he was heading home, but it can’t be more than a few days for something like this.

He figures that they’ll do something low-key, maybe come back to watch a game or something. Of course, Aomine gets all the best sports channels.

He’s still not calm enough to get a good night’s sleep, though.

They exchange e-mails, and Aomine gets a message as soon as Tiger lands in Japan.

His skin tingles with anticipation. He’s always known that there is literally an entire ocean separating them, keeping their friendship - or whatever this is - from being in the flesh.

But not anymore.

Aomine has to finish his shift, and does so with vigor; he feels renewed, energy coming from some unknown place, considering that he hasn’t been sleeping well.

He finishes later than anticipated after they get a call out - almost by an hour , and he’s annoyed, but he knows that Tiger isn’t going to be upset about it. He knows what it feels like. Aomine rushes back to his apartment, throwing his phone in its charger while he hops in the shower.

He cleans himself off quickly, effectively getting rid of all the grime from work, stepping out feeling refreshed and invigorated. He gets dressed, not having to think about his options because he’s already laid everything out; a pair of clean, dark jeans, and a gray shirt. He steps into his favourite red shoes, picking up his phone to check for messages from Tiger.

He’s got one.

Tiger: hey, i just got down to the court. you gonna be here soon?

Me: yeah, be right over.

Butterflies dance in his stomach, and he swallows down his nerves. He grabs his duffel bag - he’s willing to bet that Kagami is going to want to play, at some point, so he’ll need it - and heads out the door, questions swimming around in his brain the entire time.

He’s absorbed in his thoughts; he feels his phone buzzing in his pocket, but he can’t be bothered to check it. If it’s Tiger, he’ll see him soon - anyone else he just doesn’t care about right now. It buzzes twice, but he ignores it, turning the corner and walking straight into the basketball court. If he stops, or looks up, he knows he’s going to chicken out - he just has to go and hope for the best -

“Hey!”

Aomine looks up; this voice is crisp without the barrier of the Internet between them. He isn’t sure what to expect, looking up, but-

This isn’t it.

Aomine sucks in a deep breath as his eyes meet with the last person he expected to see today.

“Kagami?”

Here? Now? It’s definitely Kagami - looking older, more rugged, than he did the last time Aomine saw him. He’s taller, more broad - but looks at Aomine with the same piercing gaze that always has had the power to break down every barrier he’s ever created.

Aomine looks around, and doesn’t see anyone else - okay, it’s fine. Tiger’s not here yet.

“Aomine…” Kagami starts, his voice smooth as silk, a confident smile on his face, “It’s good to see you.”

Aomine, on the other hand, isn’t entirely sure he still has a pulse. His heart feels like deadweight in his chest, anchoring him to the spot, despite how much his instincts are telling him to run. His ex? Today? Really? Who did he piss off so badly in a past life?

Kagami watches him, and Aomine does nothing but stare, which effectively wipes that confident smirk off of Kagami’s face. He then blushes, scratching the back of his head - he looks away, face shifting, more nervous… and shy?

He just does not have time for this right now.

“Aomine, I-”

“I’m meeting someone,” Aomine blurts out, taking a step backwards. “I gotta go.” He turns on his heel, dragging his feet to a walk, quickening his pace to try and get as much space between himself and Kagami as possible. He can’t listen to whatever reply Kagami stutters out. He definitely has a pulse now - his heart is beating a mile a minute, rattling around inside his chest, and he might puke.

“Wait!” Kagami calls, and Aomine can hear his footsteps following him. “Aomine - wait!”

Aomine ignores him, instead choosing to quicken his pace. He turns, instinctively heading back towards his apartment, his safe place.

Kagami is not giving up though, and his footsteps get closer. Aomine was always faster, and can keep pace; they keep going, until Kagami’s shout stops him dead in his tracks.

“It’s me! You’re meeting me!” Kagami all but yells, screeching to a halt and just managing to stop before he rams into Aomine’s back.

Aomine turns around, expression unreadable. Kagami swallows hard. “What?”

“It... It’s me. You’re meeting me.” Kagami looks down at the ground, inhaling deeply before looking up and trying to meet Aomine’s eye. “I’m Tiger.”

Realization dawns across Aomine’s face, sharp and fast and painful. The humming, the quotes, the late-night talks - Christ, they talked about their relationship !

“This whole time? It’s been you?” Aomine’s voice is smaller than intended, and Kagami swallows hard.

“Yeah. I mean - I didn’t always know that it was you… but… it’s always been me.” Kagami takes a step closer, reaching out to touch Aomine - but he flinches back hard, taking two steps to separate them.

The expression on his face shifts, no longer able to hide the hurt; he bites his lip, open and vulnerable, completely thrown by what Kagami has just told him. “Okay, well,” he clears his throat, swallowing down bile, “That was great. Real funny. That the punch line? You came all the way here for that?”

Aomine can’t bring himself to look up to see Kagami’s reaction, the surprise and hurt, but all he hears is the deafening silence that surrounds them, confirming everything he doesn’t want to be true.

“Great, well, then, if we’re done here,” Aomine starts, voice cracking. He laughs, hollow and resigned, fighting down anger with every fiber of his being. He turns to leave, again, this time desperately needing to get away, before he can’t hold it back any longer and he either cries, or punches him in his stupid fucking face.

“Wait-” Kagami’s calling to him, but he isn’t listening. Fuck, how could he be so damn stupid? How did he miss this? Looking back, it was so damn obvious - he should have noticed, he should have seen , but he didn’t. And now? Now he feels like the world’s biggest idiot, embarrassed and ashamed. He fell for it hook, line, and sinker, and he couldn’t regret it more.

He can hear Kagami’s footsteps, but none of his words really register. He’s too angry to listen, his vision swimming red and hazy, his limbs barely remembering how to work properly. That is, until Kagami takes a deep breath and yells, as loud as he can, “ Stop you idiot, I’m still in love with you!”

And Aomine trips, crash landing right down onto the sidewalk; he hits the pavement with a loud scrape, cursing and gasping under his breath. Kagami is at his side in a second; he crouches down, and all of his words start flooding into Aomine.

“Shit, fuck, I’m sorry - god, that looks bad - are you okay?” Kagami reaches out and takes a hold of his bicep; Aomine follows his gaze, and only then notices the sizeable scrape on his forearm, and the blood dripping down on the sidewalk, red and angry.

Kagami is touching him.

Aomine yanks his arm back on instinct, hissing with pain. He’s still reeling from Kagami’s confession. “I’m fine. ”

“Fuck, Dai-Aomine, just, let me help you, okay? You live close, right? Please - I have to talk with you.” Kagami’s eyes are wide, and honest; Aomine wants nothing more than to give him anything and everything that he wants. It would just be too easy.

Instead, he grits his teeth. He’s so damn conflicted. His heart aches; being so close to Kagami is dizzying. “Fine.”

Kagami relaxes, and nods his head; he helps Aomine up, wrapping a hand around his bicep to help lift him to his feet. His grip is firm, and he doesn’t let go as they start the walk back.

As it turns out, Aomine’s muscle memory remembers more than he’d thought it would. It’s easy to fall back into it; Kagami is strong and steady, as they walk, and if Aomine wasn’t being careful, he’d have let himself get tucked against his side, fit in close like the spot belongs to him. But it doesn’t anymore.

Aomine’s thoughts are swimming and Kagami is still flustered, so they don’t talk on the walk back. Aomine leads the way to his apartment, dropping down his duffel bag as soon as they step in.

“I’ll go clean this up,” he says, walking over to the bathroom. His knees hurt, too; he wonders if he’s got some scrapes, underneath his jeans. He absentmindedly steps into the bathroom, realizing too late that Kagami is following him.

“Let me,” he says, and guides Aomine up and on the counter. He fumbles under the sink for the first-aid kit, pulling out odds and ends that he needs.

Kagami is focused as he works, just as Aomine remembered.

He keeps his gaze locked on his arm, fingers moving delicately, and with care. He cleans out the wound first, treating it with purpose, stopping every so often to check to make sure that he’s not pressing too hard, that the gauze isn’t too tight, that it doesn’t hurt too much.

Kagami is focused, and Aomine takes what he can get - he watches him work.

His gaze sweeps over Kagami’s face; just as he remembers it, only now sharper, the lines of his face drawn a little more heavily. His eyes are deep, and concerned, and Aomine knows he could get lost in them.

He lets out a breath, eyes following the slope of his neck, down to his broad, strong shoulders. He’s even more built than back in high school; Aomine knows that it would feel amazing if he were to let himself be held, like they used to.

Fuck.

So many memories start to flood back, and fill his system; he inhales, and he can smell Kagami, that familiar, musky scent that’s so ingrained in his memory. He thought he’d forgotten it - but no, he still reminds him of their one-on-ones on the court, the adrenaline rush of a good game. He shifts, and he can feel Kagami’s warm hands against his skin.

But they’re not the same people that they once were. There was no closure when they ended things - it was abrupt, and filled with regret. Aomine longs to fix it.

Kagami finishes his work, securing the gauze around his arm. He slowly puts away the first aid kit, gaze finding Aomine’s. “Daiki?”

Christ, how did he not realize this earlier?

Aomine has to look away - he’s going to melt under that gaze, and he knows it. “Yeah?”

Kagami’s voice is smaller than he’s ever heard, and scared. “Can I stay?”

Aomine’s stomach lurches; he can feel the heat of Kagami’s gaze on his skin, but there’s only one answer to that question, really. “Yeah. Stay.”

Kagami exhales loudly, and looks relieved. He takes a step back - their closeness finally catching up to him - and shifts on his feet, awkwardly, not sure where to go, or what to do with his hands.

He’s saved by Aomine, who slides off the counter, feet finding the cold tile floor. “Come on, let’s go sit.”

Kagami nods, and follows after him, a little like a lost puppy. Aomine finally kicks off his shoes in the hallway, Kagami following suit. They make their way to the couch, and Aomine sinks down on it comfortably; Kagami sits beside him, leaving ample space in between.

Aomine has absolutely no idea where to begin. He’s still processing - there are so many questions swimming around in his head. How long has Kagami known? Why didn’t he just say something?

Is he seriously still in love with him?

How?

Sighing, Aomine looks down at his arm, where Kagami has bandaged his wound perfectly, the corners of the gauze pulled tight. It’s so damn obvious that he treated this seriously, and that he cares about making this better. Fuck. It’s such a Kagami thing to do.

He wasn’t perfect during their relationship, either, but Aomine knows he doesn’t deserve this.

Aomine can’t start, but Kagami takes a deep breath and just starts talking. “Fuck, Daiki, I’m sorry. You just gotta know how sorry I am. For everything… for what happened in the past… and for not telling you as soon as I realized… I just… I tried, so many times, but I couldn’t find the words, you know?”

Well, miscommunication was their specialty. Aomine knows he can’t do that again.

“Every time we talked, it just made me wanna see you more anyway…” He laughs, small and nervous, and Aomine feels his restraint snapping. “I’m sorry… I know you’re mad…” I’m not… “I know I don’t deserve to be here after all of this…” You don’t? What about me ? “I just can’t help myself… I’d always regret it if I didn’t try, you know?” Aomine’s throat has ceased function at this point, but Kagami just keeps going. “I missed you something fierce, Daiki. Even now, I still think about you all the time… I’ve tried asking Kuroko or Momoi for details, but they both just say the same thing - Just talk to him, Kagami. Christ, like it’s that easy. I knew you wouldn’t want to see me.” But I did, and you know that… “But then, when you sent me that video? It cleared up so many things… I realized it was you, and that the ex you mentioned - it was me! When I realized that, and I realized how you still felt… Fuck, Daiki, it was a fucking punch to the gut, you know that?” He groans heavily, and drops his head in his hands. Aomine still says nothing, just staring, his throat dry and tongue feeling heavy.

“It-It just made me see everything that went wrong, you know? God, we were both so fucking dumb. If we had talked together half as easily as we do now, online? We’d still be together.”

It’s almost laughable, really. What a pair of idiots they are.

Aomine swallows, and finds his voice, words falling out without his consent. “You really think so?” His gut twists under the look Kagami gives him - he looks so scared , like he’s ready and waiting for backlash, expecting to be hit. But Aomine says nothing else.

Kagami hesitates before he answers, looking down at the floor. “Well.... yeah. I think so.”

His heart swells, aching painfully the more that Kagami talks. His voice - it’s soothing, Aomine can feel it in his bones, smoothing out the hard, cracked lines in his being. It reminds him that this is Kagami, yes - but he’s also the friend he’s spent late nights with, laughing and talking, sharing anything and everything with. He’s the friend who would check up on him when he didn’t get online for a few days, even through the mess of different time zones.

But more than that - this is Kagami . He’s still Kagami, the person who’s always had the power to lift him up, and make him want to be a better person; a better man.

Part of him wants to be stubborn. To let himself feel all the anger and hurt that’s churning around inside of him, to refuse Kagami, and never have to feel this way again. It’d be so easy to just give in; it’s what he wants, and it’s what he did six years ago.

He doesn’t want to be that person anymore.

Kagami reaches out, tentatively and slow, and Aomine lets him. He lets his hand rest palm-up, on his knee, and Kagami lays his hand down on top of his, gently and with purpose. His fingers jump at the touch; it’s been so long now, that he’d almost forgot how nice it feels. Aomine threads their fingers together, and Kagami squeezes his hand, tight.

It’s warm, safe, right .

“What now?” Aomine asks, voice strained; Kagami squeezes his hand, and it’s comforting. It helps to ease the weight on his chest. There’s so much that he wants to say, but can’t.

I’m sorry.

Please take me back.

He waits for Kagami to take the lead, who just turns his gaze over to him, looking at him pointedly. His expression is so open, and Aomine can see all the rush of emotion on his face, almost too much to take in.

“I wanna try again.” No, you don’t.

Aomine’s limbs feel heavy. “Are you sure?”

Kagami laughs - he really laughs, and shifts closer on the couch. His free hand finds Aomine’s chin, and tilts his face up, until their eyes meet. He looks so, so relieved.

“ Yes, ” he nods, voice light and honest. Aomine’s chest tightens, but he has to know-

“So you’re going to give me a second chance?”

“Are you?” He asks, red eyes glazed over, staring heavily down, “I forgave you the moment I saw you, Daiki. The only one you need to forgive is yourself.”

Kagami’s words are exactly what he needed to hear - he breathes, fully, finally , and lets a relieved smile cross his face. Kagami is smiling, so he grabs that stupid fucking necklace - and makes a mental note that this time, he’s going to tell Kagami how much it bothers him that he wears that idiot’s ring, but not one for him - and yanks him in close, until they’re separated by mere centimeters.

“I hope you know that you’re never getting away from me again,” he whispers, voice low and heavy; he can see the tremble in Kagami’s spine.

“I’m counting on it.” He can feel Kagami’s warm breaths, and does the only thing left to do - he closes the distance between them, and kisses him. The initial press of lips is so soft, and slow, as they get reacquainted with each other. Aomine fingers twirl in Kagami’s hair, holding him in close, and Kagami’s hands slide up the back of Aomine’s shirt, pressing firmly into the sensitive skin of his lower back. A whine escapes his lips; all the pent-up frustration and feelings they’d both been trying to forget bubble right up to the surface, and Aomine feels it all, fast and sharp and hard.

He’d forgotten how sweet Kagami tastes, but he’s never going to make that mistake again.

It’s easy, really, to fall back into it. Aomine’s missed so much - the soft touches, the heated kisses, the banter, everything.

Even the way that Kagami never lets him live down anything. Ever.

They’re pressed together, laying on Aomine’s couch; his back against Kagami’s chest, listening to the steady sound of his heartbeat. The couch is way too small for the both of them, so Aomine’s legs hang off the side; but it’s nice, this way. Kagami's hands are resting on his chest, their fingers laced together tightly. Seriously, is this real life?

“I can’t believe you didn’t pick up on my hints.” Kagami snorts. “ The only one who can beat me is me? I mean, come on!”

Aomine fake-laughs, “Oh, you’re just a fucking riot, aren’t you, Princess ?” He snickers, and Kagami responds by faking pushing him off the couch - only to pull him down and back into his lap, arms wrapped around him tightly. “I’m never going to live this down, am I?” Aomine sighs, resigned, but he can’t help but feel happy.

This feels right.

“Never,” Kagami snickers, and Aomine can feel him smile into his hair. “And also, I’m still gonna wipe the floor with your ass on the court this afternoon.”

“You’re on.”

#kuroko no basket #kuroko's basketball #aokaga #kagaao #aomine daiki #kagami taiga #myfanfic #eyyy here it is!

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