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#my gender is lowkey just sperm
transzilla · 4 months
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On gender like ive always felt a little envious of trans men who transition and they find contentment in just being male, like their ambition kinda stops there like yeah I'm just some guy i love twitch streaming and jacking off. Like I'm a guy, time to stop thinking abt it. Me I'm never gonna be satisfied. like being male as default I'm still going to be a little uncomfortable and dysphoric, like I need my masculinity to be a presence, not an absence, less like a dad and more like a demon. A dark presence that needs to be appeased and endlessly exploits desire and is constantly in pursuit, either of a discernable target or in an aimless frantic search for any scent that might correct its path. People afraid to look at me like i'm the devil.
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desiblr-dad · 3 years
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I'm a new follower to your blog, and as a non-binary romantic pansexual who has been exposed to massive amounts of trauma, it really made me cry the whole night thinking about how open you are to everyone, regardless of their gender or sexuality. It really makes me happy see accepting people in this world, even in countries where these topics are considered taboo. Ignore the following sentence if it makes you uncomfortable, but you gave me many reasons to love me for who I am myself, and also gave me more acceptance than my sperm donor. A quick question, your thoughts on the mistreatment of Asians in the rest of the world?
It makes so so happy that this blog could make you feel even the slightest bit of comfort. Everyone, regardless of their gender or sexuality, are welcome and accepted. That is what any decent human being would do. Or at least, should do. It lowkey astonishes me how people think they can simply not accept/respect other people and their identities. How they willingly choose to be a hateful and ignorant person when they can be loving and accepting. If a certain person is not harming you or anyone else wrongfully, then how can people even think it's okay to hurt them, bully them, abuse them, invalidate them? Thinking about the trauma some people have to go through just makes me want to hug everyone who has ever been hurt.
Living in Asia, where Asians are a majority, mistreatment of Asians is something I haven't been personally introduced to. But I am aware that it is an issue Asians have to face in countries where they are a minority. My thoughts on the mistreatment of a race because it is a minority in your region? Well, it is wrong. I don't even understand why anyone would be unfair to a person simply because they look slightly different or come from a slightly different culture. There are a lot more similarities than there are differences. But unfortunately, people still do that and I wish they won't.
<33
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rvseate · 4 years
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welcome  to  bee  tries  to  write  a  coherent  intro  challenge  !
(   𝘩𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑦  𝑙𝑢  𝑟𝑖𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠𝑜𝑛  &  𝑟𝑒𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑐𝑎  𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒   )   bopping  along  to  𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬  𝐟𝐥𝐲  by  𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫  𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭  is  𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄  𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐍  ,  the  𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲  𝐨𝐧𝐞  year  old  𝐜𝐢𝐬  𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞  thrown  back  to  their  𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞  𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠  days  with  𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞  of  her  memories  .  voted  𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭  𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲  𝐭𝐨  𝐛𝐞  𝐨𝐧  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐫  ,  𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘  was  known  for  being  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  &  𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜  ,  go  figures  you'd  always  find  them  𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐧𝐞𝐰  𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲  𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬  ,  but  grew  up  to  be  𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜  &  𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭  .   ✎   𝑏𝑒𝑒  ,  𝟸𝟷  ,  𝑠𝘩𝑒/𝘩𝑒𝑟  ,  𝑒𝑠𝑡  .
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𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬.
NAME  :   penelope  dahlia  buchanan
NICKNAMES  :  penny
D.O.B.  :  june  25,  1989
GENDER  /  PRONOUNS  :  cis  female  /  she  +  her
SEXUALITY  :  biromantic  bisexual
𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞.
BORN  :  san  antonio,  texas
RAISED  :  san  antonio,  texas
CURRENT  RESIDENCE  :  rom  valley  university  dorms  (  past  )   /  san  francisco,  california  (  present  )
NATIONALITY  :  american
SPOKEN  LANGUAGES  :  english
SOCIOECONOMIC  CLASS  :  upper  middle  class
OCCUPATION  :  full  stack  developer
PARENTS  :  glenn  &  tammy  buchanan
SIBLINGS  :  blair  buchanan,  lucille  buchanan,  stella  buchanan
CHILDREN  :  none  (  past  )   /   madison,  3  y/o  (  present  )
RELIGION  :  christian  (  past  )   /   agnostic  (  present  )
𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲.
HEIGHT  :  5′5″
BUILD  :   a  little  curvy,  not  much  muscle  definition
HAIR  :  dirty  blonde,  wavy
EYE  COLOUR  :  a  murky  grayish  blue
SKIN  :  fair,  prone  to  acne,  easily  flushed
DOMINANT  HAND  :  right
SCENT  :  vanilla  &  lavender
ACCENT  :  texan
TATTOOS  /  PIERCINGS  :  no  tattoos,  ears  pierced  (  past  )   /   a  simple  hello  world  tattoo  on  her  wrist,  ears  pierced  (  present  )
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫.
STRENGTHS  :  conscientious,  kindhearted,  intelligent,  affable,  humble
WEAKNESSES  :  jealous,  self-conscious,  intransigent,  pessimistic,  dependent
ZODIAC  :  cancer  sun,  libra  moon
MBTI  :  infj
TEMPERAMENT  :  phlegmatic
MORAL  ALIGNMENT  :  lawful  neutral
HOGWARTS  HOUSE  :  hufflepuff
𝐛𝐢𝐨.
penny  buchanan  is,  and  always  has  been,  unremarkable,  at  least  in  her  own  eyes.  a  christian  sorority  girl  from  texas  ?  they’re  a  dime  a  dozen.  not  to  mention  penny  is  the  second  youngest  of  four  girls,  all  of  whom  look  remarkably  similar.  the  buchanan  girls  came  as  a  package  deal.  penny  spent  every  minute  with  her  sisters  growing  up  (  though  many  of  those  minutes  were  spent  at  war  ),  trying  to  ignore  their  parents’  relationship  crumbling  irreversibly  as  the  years  went  on.  it  was  an  open  secret  that  glenn  buchanan  was  not  entirely  faithful  to  his  wife.  but  they  brushed  it  under  the  rug;  after  all,  what  else  were  they  supposed  to  do,  divorce  ?  now  that  wouldn’t  be  very  christian,  would  it  ?
penny  first  discovered  a  love  for  computers  in  her  sophomore  year  of  high  school,  when  she  signed  up  for  a  computer  class  because  the  boy  she  was  crushing  on  was  taking  it.  well,  crushes  fade,  but  her  interest  in  the  ones  and  zeroes  that  composed  the  modern  computer  didn’t.  the  first  week  of  her  first  year  at  rvu,  penny  cried  herself  to  sleep  every  night.  she’d  never  been  apart  from  her  sisters  for  so  long.  not  to  mention  she  stuck  out  like  a  sore  thumb  in  her  software  engineering  classes,  which  were  overwhelmingly  male  (  and  in  need  of  deodorant  ).  
but  she  quickly  found  a  home  in  the  sorority  sigma  delta  nu,  all  too  happy  to  bake  cookies  for  their  bake  sales  and  play  sidekick  to  the  bolder,  more  outgoing  girls,  as  long  as  she  was  part  of  a  sisterhood  once  more.  she’s  always  defined  herself  by  her  relationship  to  other  people,  and  a  sorority  is  right  up  her  alley.  she’s  a  little  embarrassed  by  her  major,  since  it’s  probably  seen  as  pretty  nerdy  and  masculine,  and  definitely  downplays  it  lmao  even  though  she  loves  it  a  lot.  she  definitely  was  more  of  a  follower  than  a  leader,  so  if  another  of  her  sorority  sisters  had  drama  with  someone,  penny  definitely  stood  behind  them  and  stayed  quiet  instead  of  maybe  forming  her  own  opinion.
totally  into  the  bachelor  lmfao.  she's  seen  every  season  and  lives  for  the  drama  of  it  all.  just  loves  reality  shows  in  general.  also  loves  romcoms.  she’s  a  total  hopeless  romantic  who  gets  crushes  on  people  way  too  easily
WANTED  PLOT  !!!  something  i’d  love  is  if  penny  had  a  boyfriend  in  her  college  days.  super  cute,  been  dating  a  while,  people  probably  expect  them  to  get  married.  but  she’s  secretly  cheating  on  him.  the  drama  !!!  up  to  you  how  much  he  remembers  of  the  future.  extra  bonus  points  if  she’s  cheating  on  him  with  a  girl,  im  so  gay  and  so  is  penny
college  tl;dr  :  penny  is  your  average  christian  sorority  girl,  sweet  but  a  lil  insecure  and  dependent,  Confused™  about  her  sexuality,  loves  software  eng  &  actually  really  good  at  it  but  embarrassed  abt  it.  can  be  jealous  and  honestly  a  little  spiteful.  way  too  concerned  about  her  image
after  college  !!  i  imagine  the  boyfriend  finds  out  about  her  cheating  and  breaks  up  with  her  lol.  she  got  a  job  in  silicone  valley  and  makes  like,  a  lot  of  money  tbh.  she  gained  more  confidence  and  independence,  but  still  tends  to  make  herself  smaller  and  stick  to  the  shadows  while  her  coworkers  get  the  glory.  i  feel  like  she’s  had  a  few  short  relationships  but  nothing  super  serious.  definitely  had  an  okcupid  account  lmfao.  
she’s  always  wanted  to  be  a  mother  and  at  some  point  after  a  certain  amount  of  failed  relationships  she  was  like  …  ya  know  what  ?  i’m  gonna  do  this  on  my  own.  so  she  got  artificially  inseminated  and  now  has  the  cutest  daughter  named  madison.  it’s  been  tough  being  a  single  mother,  but  it’s  been  so  worth  it.
after  the  reunion,  she  remembers  some  of  her  future,  but  it’s  very  much  like  remembering  a  dream,  where  you’re  not  sure  if  it  even  happened.  the  only  parts  she  remembers  clearly  are  with  madison.
𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.
these  are  all  lame  bc  i’m  tired  i  am  sorry
ex-boyfriend.  like  i  said,  a  college  boyfriend  who  she  was  cheating   on.  pleaseee
college  fling.  the  person  she  cheated  with.  would  love  this  to  be  a  girl/enby  but  would  also  be  ok  with  a  guy.  taken  by  vivienne  hale
skinny  love.  maybe  they  were  just  friends  but  always  lowkey  had  a  crush  on  each  other,  but  it  never  worked  out  cause  they  were  never  single  at  the  same  time
sorority  sisters.  pleeeease  give  penny  her  sorority  sisters  !!  her  girls  !!
hbic.  penny’s  more  of  a  sidekick,  so  i’d  love  a  female  friend  who’s  more  confident  and  outgoing.  think  like,  jennifer  &  needy  from  jennifer’s  body
classmates.  any  other  engineers  out  there  ??  doesn’t  even  need  to  be  software  engineers  lol
childhood  /  high  school  friends.  someone  also  from  texas  who  penny  knew  growing  up
victims  ?  maybe  some  of  her  sorority  sisters  tended  to  be  snotty  and  mean,  and  penny  just  stood  by  instead  of  standing  up  for  their  victims
one-sided  crush.  either  way  bbyyyy
sperm  donor.  i  know  sperm  donors  are  anonymous  but  how  fucking  funny  would  it  be  if  penny  found  out  the  father  of  her  child  was  an  old  classmate
annoyance.  someone  who  irritates  penny
bad  influence  /  good  influence
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