#mother 3 richie
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HAPPY OCTOBER 1ST !!!!!
hc that the toziers are the family on the block that always go ALL OUT for halloween. like every year on october 1st the halloween decorations go up, their lawn is covered in fake tombstones and there’s a skeleton hanging from the porch and there’s fake bats and ravens on the roof and they’ve put those fake hands all over the grass to make it look like there are zombies coming out from the ground.
and that’s just before halloween. on halloween night it’s basically a competition with the neighborhood kids to see who can get to the tozier house first, because they always give out the full-sized candy bars. but it’s not just that, mr tozier also converts their garage into a little haunted house, with scary statues and spooky decorations and it ends with mr and mrs tozier, both dressed in costume, obviously, jumping out at the kids and scaring them before giving them their candy (maggie and went also always have matching costumes: gomez and morticia, frankenstein and frankenstein’s bride, because they are iconic so of course their costumes will match).
they also always hold a little halloween party for the losers when they’re kids, complete with halloween-themed snacks (candies that look like spiders, cookies that look like eyeballs, marshmallows that look like ghosts, fruit punch that mrs tozier says is ‘blood’, etc etc) and a whole bunch of horror movies that mr tozier rented for them. the kids stay up all night eating the sugar and definitely giving themselves nightmares from the movies, but that’s what halloween is all about, right?
#eddie also loves halloween at the tozier's because its so much different from his own home#where his mother won't even let him touch candy or let him watch something remotely scary#so he always has so much fun at richie's house <3#the toziers#the toziers hc#maggie tozier#wentworth tozier#richie tozier#it#it hc#it au#it 2017#it 2019
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Carmy bring upset the first time someone makes bunny cry
bunny is a pretty easy crier, but don't be the one to make those pretty tears fall, or bear will attack!
the first time he sees her cry happens before they start dating. she was supposed to come over and hang that night, but when the clock hits thirty minutes after her usual arrival time, carmen already knows something is wrong.
he's proven right when a knock on his door startles him off the couch. his heart lurches into his chest at the sight of bunny all teary-eyed and hiccuping on her air.
"hey. hey," he pulls her into his apartment, shutting the door without taking his eyes off her. "what's goin' on, what happened?"
carmen silently panics at the blubbers that pour out of her. all that he catches is something about her project partner in one of her courses criticizing her portion of the work so far when he hasn't done any. also something about her father and mother calling within the past hour, which makes both their stomachs turn.
she hasn't talked about her family much. him, either. for good reason.
a quiet shush leaves him as he finally gains the courage to guide bunny into him. he holds her tight with a hand sprawled across her back.
carmen sways back and forth, working to soothe both her and himself from the hot anger that's burning his chest. anger towards the three culprits that have made this sweet, pretty girl so upset that she can't even breathe right.
・゜゜・．
"just tell me his name."
"carmen."
"what?"
bunny stares at carmen from her place snuggled into the corner of his couch. thankfully, she's stopped crying, the evidence of anything being wrong only lying within her stuffy nose and puffy eyes.
"it doesn't even matter anymore–"
"yeah, it does," carmen interrupts bunny, turning to look at her from the other side of the couch. "dickhead made you cry, that's not fuckin' cool."
his gaze turns back to the television that he's too angry to watch. a frown has settled onto his face. it's been there since bunny went to blow her nose.
"all i need's a name..."
really. that's all he needs for him and richie to handle it. and if that doesn't work, there's always uncle jimmy.
the bunny and the bear au || bunny!reader and bear thoughts? <3
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I love your meta!!! It’s amazing that you’re still able to identify and connect new things that the rest of us overlooked. Do you have any predictions for next season? Not just with SydCarmy but also any thoughts about where the show may take us
Thank you!
I think a big focus of next season is going to be on their lives intertwining and their families coming together. Season 3 ended with Richie, Nat, Carmy, and Sydney all coming together to open the restaurant and including her in their core group like family. And like Ayo and everyone in the show has said, this is all about chosen family and real family. But I also think a lot of bad shit is going to happen, especially at the very start of the season.
After Carmy practically begging to meet Sydney's dad, I do think Emmanuel and Carmy will finally meet. I do not think he is going to like Carmy at the start. He is very sceptical of their whole arrangement, he knows Sydney quit for a minute and might have heard Sydney talk shit about him. And if he ever finds out what went down on opening night, I don't think he'll be too happy with Carmy. But I do think they will eventually bond and get to know each other, I think including that Sydney's dad was sober from alcohol is going to be a big conversation for them.
I think they were alluding for Natalie having some sort of complication maybe preeclampsia with her shoulder pain. I think she's going to give birth sooner rather than later. Natalie giving birth is going to bring Donna back and is what is going to get Carmy and his mother to finally see each other again after seemingly years apart.
I also think Donna and Sydney will meet. I think Natalie and Sydney are both going to try to get Carmy to at least try to give his mother a chance because they are both much more optimistic and forgiving people than him. I think it's going to cause a lot of tension between all of them because Carmy doesn't want Sydney seeing that side of his family.
Sydney's share/ownership of the restaurant comes back into question. I also think Carmy getting more credit/recognition than her in reviews or press will bother her. I think she will basically say that this place is not really hers. Someone tries to poach Sydney, Carmy freaks out. Sydney starts to consider if it is worth staying if another good opportunity comes along.
Marcus' mom is dead and gone. RIP to that lady. I think grief and how they all deal with it differently will be a big theme. Carmy ignored his grief for a long time and tried to use work to fix things. Sydney and her dad still keep her mom's memory alive but she still struggles with letting others know about her grief. I think Marcus will be letting others help him and be there for him and Sydney will be there for him. I think this will bring back things Carmy about his own grief and how he's still dealing with it.
Luca returns to fill in for him for a bit and emotional support for Marcus. Which I think will also bring us to see Competitive Carmy in full force as goes into Michelin Mode, for Syd's sake. No amusement or enjoyment. I also think this will kinda turn the crew against Carmy as they'll prefer Sydney, they kind of already do. Especially considering she was more involved in training them and in the build than he was. Plus she's just nicer than him.
Sydney will overwork herself and burn out, she won't trust Carmy on his own and will inevitably put a lot of pressure on herself. She's not going to want to quit or stop but Carmy and her Dad will be pressuring her to slow down because she's making herself sick. I think a large focus of Season 3 will be on their energy. In Season 1 it was all about the pressure of money, Season 2 about time pressure, and now they need to find the energy to keep going because they need to make back money in a set time frame. The focus on energy and their internal dynamics between them, rather than external issues like things in restaurant being broken.
Jealous Carmy. When he realizes Marcus likes Syd more than a friend, he's going to view everyone as competition and a threat, even though he's still to scared to do anything about it. I think Sydney will grow closer to Marcus and Richie and maybe even Luca or new guy Connor, not in any romantic way, but it is going to bother Carmy a lot that she never spends any time with him and that they know her outside of work but he doesn't.
Menu overhaul is inevitable, aside from Marcus dishes, most of the menu is not that remarkable and they really need to pull out new interesting ideas if they want a star. I'm sure we will see a lot more of Syd and Carmy actually testing recipes together. Carmy is just not as creative as Sydney when it comes to food, he struggled with the chaos menu. Mostly as Carmy's way to force proximity with Syd when she doesn't want to be around him.
I'm also still rooting for the return of the short rib risotto and the missing acid chaos ingredient. They have to bring it back.
Tina and/or Richie straight up comment on Sydcarmy. I think Tina knows and suspects a lot more than she lets on. She is very observant and protective over Sydney. She's overheard and seen a lot of what has been going down between them. She's going to put Carmy in his place and scare him a little on Sydney's behalf.
Richie on a similar note is going to put 2 and 2 together on what Carmy is feeling and basically tell him to stay away from Sydney because he doesn't want a Claire 2.0 to happen to her and he probably feels like Carmy does not even deserve Sydney in any way and he would just fuck things up for everyone at the restaurant.
Natalie finally says something to him and that's what finally gets him to do something and stop bottling everything in. She never commented on his relationship to anyone except Sydney, and that was more so to get her in the loop and protect her, because she knew Carmy was leading her on while seeing Claire and not telling her. She's going to subtly or not so subtly ask him wtf he is doing. I also think Jimmy fully thought Sydney was his girlfriend.
Fire Suppression System will tested for real with an actual fire. I have a lil theory that Sydney is going to be the one to accidentally start a fire next season. The fire suppression test was all a metaphor for Syd and Carmy suppressing their feelings and the spark/fire that they have. At the end of season 1 Carmy started a grease fire after Sydney quit, because he couldn't suppress his sadness and feelings for her. In season 2 they passed the fire suppression and Carmy decided to declare Claire his girlfriend. They managed to contain their feelings, but eventually they still came out with Carmy and his panic attack. But now I'm sure Sydney is going to be the one trying to suppress feelings because of how everything went down, and I think it will just blow up in her face literally and metaphorically. They spent so much time explaining the fire suppression system and the electrical wiring and the amperage of it all, that I think it's going to come into play again.
Carmy uses Sydney for emotional support without her realizing. When he texted her because he needed her comfort and forgiveness before opening Mikey's note, she didn't know that was what was happening. When he had panic attack and thought of her to calm down he used her for comfort, but she doesn't know all that. I think he's going to tell her or show her that she is his comfort person. I also think we will also see Sydney eventually reach for him for support and comfort as well.
Sydney's catering days and UPS flashback. Please I am begging. We need more of her lore. I think next season will be a lot of seeing her as more independent and being the boss, we only just started to see her at her peak performance in the last episode. I think we'll see more of her evolution, and also her flighty nature. She went from restaurant to restaurant. I think the idea of her leaving The Bear will hang around all season, but she won't leave.
Claire apology then goodbye within the same episode. Sorry to that girl. I think Carmy was already planning to breakup with her after he had the panic attack and the talk with Uncle Jimmy, which is why he freaked out when after he saw her at dinner. I don't think there would be much place for her unless they throw her into some hospital scenes with maybe Nat or Sydney being sick. I think her work here is done. I think she might make other appearances with the Faks. They are close family friends. Maybe she's friends with the elusive Francie Fak that everyone is dying to know what happened between her and Nat.
I think Richie will try to work elsewhere for a bit. He wants to prove that he doesn't need Carmy and that he can succeed without him. I think he'll come back when Sydney asks him to. The situation with him and Tiff feels very 50/50 to me. On the one hand I think it could be him learning to move on from his ex, on the other hand I think Chris and Joanna are all about second chances and I could see Tiff seeing Richie change and wanting to give things another chance.
I also think there's opportunity to see another city like we did with Copenhagen. I'm still rooting for Carmy to take Syd to Noma before it shuts down. I could also see a New York flashback episode with Carmy working at Eleven Madison and Sydney going on her NYC food tour and their whole invisible string coming together.
Not in this season, but The Bear Cookbook will happen. Trust.
And The Psychedelic Musical Episode. A girl can dream. But I do think we'll get another karaoke scene, maybe with the whole crew going out after a shift and just letting loose for once.
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carmen berzatto hcs
✮⋆˙ warnings : language
✮⋆˙ readers gender is female :3
✮⋆˙ a.n : this is my first post so pls go easy on me, just some headcannons + little lines i think he would say if you two were dating
✮⋆˙ enjoy loves !! <33333
✩ only drinks black coffee , saw what your order was one time and almost had a heart attack
✩“you’re just drinking caramel…why?”
✩ loves going thrifting with you, you helped him find vintage jeans one time and he almost fell in love with you then and there
✩ the eye contact ??? mans will hold eye contact with you for minutes and not understand why you’re getting flustered over it
✩bonus : he was taught to always keep eye contact with those he respected and doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t respect you
✩ loves when you try his food, you genuinely just love to eat and won’t pick out random bullshit to criticize abt his food
✩ “can you try this for me ?”
✩ hates when you call him chef after dating, will let you be the only one to call him “carmy” in the kitchen (besides richie), loves when you call him "carm"
✩ using any pet names will land you in his office for a make out session, you called him “baby” one time by habit and spent the next hour on his desk making out until tina had to collect you two
✩ “can you make a shopping list for me ?”
✩ will gladly teach you and specifically asks you before he cooks if you want to watch him and will explain every little step and smiles at your blatant confusion on what “blanching” is
✩ he stopped smoking specifically for you, you two kissed one time and you slightly cringed at the taste and he immediately went out and bought nicotine patches along with gum and rolled his eyes at richie comments
✩ will not let ANYONE comment on you, will not hesitate to beat the living shit out of someone for a slick comment on your presence
✩ “i don’t give a fuck what they think of you, my love. you’re my girlfriend and that's all that matters”
✩ “i could make that for you”
✩ never thought about starting a family until he met you, you helped him with a kid’s party gig and he saw how easily you handled the kids (“little shits” as richie called them) and he knew then and there you would be the perfect mother
✩ you cut yourself one time during prep and he immediately ran over to check on you once he heard your little wince.
✩ “idc if its little, i need to make sure you're okay”
✩ loves the smell of your perfume and keeps going out to buy that specific one whenever he wants to get you a gift.
✩ secretly loves physical contact; you wrapped your arms around him while he cooked one time and now he can’t cook without you touching him in some way
✩ only cries around you, hearing you tell him that it’s going to be alright makes him melt every time
✩ you told him once that you could bartend/worked as a foh a year ago and immediately put you on the staff (couldn’t care what anyone had to say about it)
✩ loves hugging you, there's something about how soft your skin is that he can’t help but just embrace you the second he sees you
✩ rarely uses your real name, stopped using it the day after you two began dating
✩ “baby i can do the dishes tonight”
#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto headcannons#carmen berzatto blurb#the bear#fatesmono
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love the idea of reader meeting Pete and hitting it off because of them both being in love with Berzattos <3 and telling Carmen and Richie something when they're not nice to Pete
after this initial moment, you're very protective over pete. you know he's just an easy target for the guys, probably some sort of jealousy behind it, but you don't care.
carmen and richie start in on pete, and you're not having it.
"you better stop being so mean to pete." you warn that night, turning down the bed with carmen.
"what?" carmen scoffs. he half thinks you're kidding it was so random and... it was pete.
"i'm serious, carmen. pete's a good guy. you guys need to lay off." you frown.
"pete? what-what are you talkin' about? did he say somethin' to you-"
"-no." you roll your eyes. "but pete is nice. he's a good guy, and-and he's always so nice to you and richie and your whole family. he was nice to me when your cousins and mother wouldn't speak to me. and he treats your sister good, c'mon, carm." you sigh heavily, giving him a pleading look.
"yeah, but he's-he's fuckin', pete." carmen said like it was obvious. "we always bust his balls, it's-it's just what we do. it's funny."
"it's mean, carm." you huff, throwing a pillow at him lightly. "i'm not saying kiss the fuckin' ground he walks on, but... ease up, alright? he's a good guy. sometimes you guys get too mean."
carmen scoffed, but nodded, climbing in the bed beside you. "didn't realize you had such a soft spot for pete." carmen grumbled.
"i don't." you reassure, hand sliding down his face sweetly. "i just... i know that's just how you guys are, but some of that shit is really mean. he's a little sensitive, carm."
carmen scoffed, throwing his hands out. "and you want me to not make fun of him?"
"easy, berzatto. you're sensitive too." you press a finger into his chest.
carmen pouts, brows creasing. "i am not."
"please." you roll your eyes. "you just got jealous because i said to ease off pete."
"i am not jealous." carmen countered, an edge to his tone that proved your point.
you hummed, rolling your eyes, but dropped it. letting your thigh fall over carmen's hip, hands sliding through his hair. "like he'd ever be my type." you muttered, titling your head to the side playfully, squealing when carmen's hand slapped your ass.
#thebearer#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto smut#thebearerblurbs#carmy berzatto#bearblahs#carmy berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmy berzatto x you#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto fanfiction#carmy berzatto fluff#the bear fx#carmy the bear#the bear season 2#the bear
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Random Hatchetfield headcanons in no particular order.
In honor of Cinderella's Castle being fully funded, have my silly little thoughts about Hatchetfield and it's residents (A few of these I yoinked from Tumblr so they're mine now :3)
Richie and Pete are both autistic. Grace is too but she has lower functioning autism.
Pete’s special interest is horror movies/special effects. Grace and Richie's special interests are…pretty obvious. But Richie also loves Godzilla and Grace loves the supernatural.
Jon Matteson said that Paul might be autistic, so I take that as canon. On top of that he has undiagnosed depression and anxiety.
Paul has two siblings. One being Gary, his little brother. And his older sister, who he lives with, who is actually Richie's mother. Richie's father died when he was very young so Paul stepped up to help his sister and nephew financially, and he’s the closest thing Richie has to a father figure.
For someone who used to tell Gary and his sister that he'd never have kids, Paul adores Richie and tries his absolute best to be the father he never had.
Boy Jerry is Paul and Gary’s cousin.
Ruth and Richie probably met when they were really young & both were lonely & in need of a friend. Like walking up on the playground “you wanna be friends?” “Yeah!” type of deal.
Paul and Charlotte were friends in middle school-high school.
Gary decorates his house like a suburban white mom, those rustic white letters in the kitchen, everything labeled in slightly stretched text, that type of thing.
In the proshot for NPMD, Ms. Chasity uses the correct pronouns for Ziggy. So I headcanon that The Chasity family, despite being hardcore christians, respect the LGBTQ community.
The most lethal weapon in all of Hatchetfield is Grace Chasity’s puppy dog eyes.
Charlotte’s sweater was a birthday gift from Ted. He made her swear not to tell anyone it came from him. He has a reputation, y’know?
Paul uses his phone like a grandma, he puts on the glasses to read and everything.
Gary knows how to play the piano.
Ted loves Steph and treats her like his sister. He's so proud of Peter for not only pulling one of the most popular girls in school, but that same girl is helping him with his self image and confidence.
Charlotte does yarn crafts (like knitting and crochet and cross stitch and shit) to get her anger out because stabby stabby.
Barry Swift is fully, completely, absolutely, 100% gay and in denial about it. Also he and Gary are childhood friends (to feed the Attorney in a hurry fans).
The people who went to Sycamore are, in no particular order; Paul Matthews, Charlotte Sweetly, Sam Sweetly, Gary Goldstein, Barry Swift, Karen & Mark Chasity, Dan Reynolds, Nora Beanie, and Melissa Nolastname.
Grace is the type of girl who says she hates drama and gossip but she knows all the drama at Hatchetfield High.
Like Paul, Gary is also autistic.
Paul drives Richie, Steph, Pete, Grace and Ruth everywhere. Paul likes all of Richie's friends even if they're a little weird (he finds Grace a little obnoxious though but he's not gonna say it)
Steph says Paul’s aesthetic is “Cardboardcore”
Pete is just the most attentive and perceptive partner ever. In every sense of the words. He picks up on every little detail. Steph had a bad day? Pete instantly knows how to cheer her up. Steph is excited about something and needs to talk about it? Hey babe what’s up tell me all about it. Pete’s the type to start keeping snacks on hand because he knows Steph’s internal clock and that she always forgets to eat and then gets hangry after a few hours.
When Stephanie is exhausted she literally makes no sense, she babbles the most nonsensical bullshit.
Barry Swift has ADHD and OCD.
Gary wears those blue pinstripe pajamas. With the lil hat too.
Paul has the most unorganized and dirty room for some reason, like he never even bothered decorating it.
Sam and Charlotte were high school sweethearts and kinda rushed into marriage soon after graduating.
Gary wanted to buy a Wiggly doll for Richie.
Steph’s ripped jeans had small holes in them when she bought them and her dad made fun of her for buying something already broken so she made the holes bigger out of spite.
Grace has asked Steph, Pete, Richie and Ruth at least 3 times if they would still love her if she was a worm.
Gary unironically refers to Facebook as "the book of faces”
#starkid#team starkid#hatchetfield#hatchetfield universe#hatchetverse#hatchetfield headcanon#starkid headcanon#stephanie lauter#pete spankoffski#grace chasity#richie lipschitz#ted spankoffski#charlotte sweetly#gary goldstein#boy jerry#barry swift#the guy who didn't like musicals#black friday#nerdy prudes must die#lautski#attorney in a hurry#paul matthews the autistic icon
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Sydney's search for connection.
The more I rewatch The Bear I can't tell if I'm overthinking or if this show is so layered it's near perfection.
I love the themes of mothers, nourishment, generational trauma, loss, showing up for people, caring for people, mental health. I could carry on...
But I love this small moment in 2x03 Sundae and its theme surrounding mothers, loss, and needing others. We're told that Syd wants to make up for a failed business throughout the show but beneath that is another longing.
This scene tells me about Syd's need for connection. But being with people requires vulnerability which is one of Syd's struggles.
Based on what the show tells us, Syd doesn't have the best experience being vulnerable with others. There are always awkward but funny moments when Syd connects with people.
Since she's experienced loss at such a young age, it's almost foreign to her to sympathize, not that she can't sympathize she just doesn't express it properly. The first moment in 1x02 when she awkwardly apologizes to Richie about Mikey's death. The second moment in 2x02 Pasta is when she says to Marcus, "It was just a hat?"
A third moment dismisses Carmy's empathy for her mother's passing. Syd's lesson is that being surrounded by people is sharing a loss together. I'm sure in season 3 with Marcus' mom's passing, this is her chance to be there for someone.
We won't always have the most rewarding experience with people but we have to keep trying.
We can't blame Syd for such awkwardness. She's an only child and alone is a safety net. The opposite of having a psychopath behind her yelling, pushing, screaming...
But the safety of being alone fails and she's back to working with people again. This time she works for Carmy. It's a risk but she has ambition and urgency. To erase a past failure. To change the pattern. Because being surrounded by people can make her successful- it fills a void.
What I love about Sydney is that there's more of an awareness. She's aware she has to change a pattern, and be part of a team. Sydney tells her dad in 2x02 that she's at a different place, not alone, in his house. She has a partner. Sydney has a chance to be vulnerable with Carmy and, despite its challenges, she is willing to do so.
But like Carmy, her mental health isn't the best. As the show progresses and what 2x10 gave us I hope we dive deeper into Sydney's head.
#the bear fx#chefs kiss#sydney adamu#the bear spoilers#the bear#carmy x syd#ayo edebiri#just a bit of carmy mentioned gere#sydney and carmy#sydney x carmy#carmy x sydney#thoughtful chaos posts
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Lost (3) - Stay
Tara Carpenter x female Reader
Summary: To anyone on the outside, and to Tara’s friends, you were Tara’s fierce protector, the MMA fighter who’d take anyone on for Tara. The Guard Dog, as Amber called you. You had no idea you’d have to protect her from people who claimed they loved her. It didn’t matter. As long as you and Tara had one another there was nothing you wouldn’t be able to survive.
Story warnings: Scream violence, family issues, trauma, angst, certain sensitive topics
Word count: 6k
Story Masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part
-I've never been the best at letting go, I don't wanna spend the night alone-
Sam was… afraid, frightened even. She never wanted to go back to Woodsboro, to go back to the place that reminded her of all the things she ruined, of all the things that ruined her. And now those things threatened her baby sister, her Tara, the only good in her life she had left, no matter the distance between them. More than the ghosts and memories though, Sam was afraid of Tara’s reaction, she was afraid, yet accepting of rejection. If anyone had the right to hold her accountable, it was Tara. She was the only one who could be her judge, and Sam would accept it. She would accept it because it was the only right reaction, after all Sam wasn’t the first family member that abandoned Tara, and given how their mother was, well, that only made Sam’s choice worse. She didn’t just leave Tara behind, she left her with their mother.
Her reason didn’t matter, her regrets, pain, how much she missed Tara every single moment, none of it mattered. She left. She left Tara to protect her, but she left nonetheless, cutting contact and leaving Tara, almost certainly, with trauma and doubt.
How she wished she could reunite with Tara in a different place, in different circumstances, ones that didn’t involve Tara hurt. How she wished she could take those wounds and pain away from Tara and go through what Tara did instead. She lost count a long time ago, of all the dreams that had Tara and her reuniting, as unrealistic as they were. Tara, the same as she was when Sam left, when she was merely thirteen years old, with her shy smile and hiding her eyes behind her bangs.
“You’re worried about your sister,” Richie interrupted her thoughts and she was thankful for that, she was already worried as it was, and thinking about Tara’s reaction wasn’t helping her.
So, she nodded, sighing and looking out the window. It’s been a while since they saw a building of any kind, all they could see were trees, the forest surrounding the road. They were getting closer to Woodsboro. It wouldn’t be long now.
“Hey, isn’t that MMA fighter you like watching from Woodsboro as well?” he suddenly asked.
Sam smiled a bit, despite circumstances, as she did, indeed, watch the last couple of your matches. She saw an edit of your fight, of you weaving and dodging the attacks and countering your opponent with ease. And she immediately recognized you, even before she read your name in the description. So, ever since then, she silently followed your fights, happy that you were accomplishing your dream, and, though she never admitted it to anyone but herself, hoping to catch a glimpse of Tara in the crowd.
“Mhm, Y/N. She’s Tara’s childhood friend,” she replied without a hint of doubt.
“Is? I thought you said you didn’t talk to your sister in years. How do you know they’re still friends?” Richie’s question was valid, and Sam really didn’t know if you and Tara were still friends.
But…
“You don’t know them. Nothing could break the bond Tara and Y/N have,” you were Tara’s best friend, and Tara was the one that made you the happiest. Sure, years could have made the two of you grow distant, but she couldn’t imagine it, she found it inconceivable. Tara not having you by her side? Sam couldn’t even begin to imagine what went wrong for that to happen.
Amber may have given you the Guard Dog nickname, but Sam always preferred to think of you as Tara’s protector, as Tara’s unbreakable shield, even if she figured the guard dog was appropriate as well.
~X~
If you weren’t so focused on Tara you probably would have thought Amber was right for once. You really looked like a guard dog at the moment. Standing to Tara’s left, leaning against the wall with your arms folded over your chest and a scowl on your face as you listened to Tara speaking with her mother.
“No, nothing was taken,” you froze when you heard the defeated tone of Tara’s voice. Once, just this once you thought her damn mother wouldn’t be a contender for the worst parent you had ever met, but here you were. “That wasn’t what they were after,” the exhaustion in Tara’s voice, the way it cracked just a bit, not nearly enough for Christina fucking Carpenter to notice, it made you sit down next to Tara and put an arm around her shoulders. Tara leaned into your touch right away, she hid her face in the crook of your neck, not even complaining when you took her phone.
The sudden wetness on your neck, the realization that it was Tara’s tear, nearly made you lose composure. “Tara needs to rest, please call her later,” you spoke as calmly as you could, hoping that you could soothe Tara by holding her close.
“Huh? What?” Christina sounded drunk even now, knowing her, she was drunk. You didn’t want to wait for the woman to figure out what was going on, you just hung up. She wouldn’t call back anyway.
“You’ll get through this,” you ran your fingers through Tara’s hair, gently calming her down before her asthma could make her condition even worse.
Tara managed a weak nod, her right hand reaching up and gripping your shoulder as if you being there was the only thing keeping her grounded. All things considered, maybe you were. “He told me mom was proud of me,” Tara whispered, just barely loud enough for you to hear. “I really wished that was true, Y/N,” she cried, tears falling from her eyes as you just held her like that.
What could you even tell her when her mother wouldn’t even take the time to properly call and ask Tara how she was. How could she believe her mother was proud of her when that same mother didn’t care enough to drop everything and come back to her daughter that nearly got killed.
You remained in that position when Chad, Mindy, Wes and Amber came, with Amber, as the girlfriend, coming in first. The relief on the faces of the first three at the sight of Tara awake and as fine as she could be overpowered everything else, Mindy’s need to tease the two of you, Chad’s need to cheer for you and Tara, and Wes’ jealousy. It didn’t overpower Amber’s jealousy though. You weren't sure what to make of it, but the first thing Amber did was glare at you. Checking on Tara? Her girlfriend? Nope, glaring first, checking on her injured girlfriend who almost got killed later.
Chad, Mindy and Wes remained near the bottom of Tara’s bed, while Amber took her place on Tara’s right side, and while Tara turned to look at them, she kept her hand on your shoulder, preventing you from getting up. “I’m not going anywhere,” you muttered, and only then did she let go of your shoulder and allow you to help her move so that she was leaning back against you.
“Sorry, mom just called,” she apologized, her eyes focusing on Amber for a few moments, though the apology was meant for all four of her friends.
Mindy nodded. “We figured, T,” she admitted, her eyes filled with compassion for Tara.
Amber leaned down, kissing Tara on the lips before you could properly look aside. And each and every person in the room could feel how uncomfortable the room just got. Amber kissed Tara, while Tara was leaning back on you. And nothing about what she did was accidental, she saw an opportunity and took it, probably believing she was staking her claim on Tara.
You didn’t react though, just looked away, you refused to give Amber that satisfaction or to make things even more uncomfortable for Tara. That is, until you heard Tara’s muffled groan.
“Be gentler,” you snarled, pushing Amber back when you saw she put some pressure on Tara’s right thigh, hurting Tara in the process.
Amber glared for just a moment, before turning her attention back to Tara. "I'm so sorry Baby, I was so worried and-" Amber apologized and you felt the urge to keep her away from Tara. It had to be the jealousy you sometimes felt, right? Surely there was no other reason you would want to push Amber further away from Tara. Amber wouldn't hurt Tara. Right?
"It's okay, I'm okay. I'm just glad you're here with everyone," Tara assured her softly, though she did back away a bit, leaning more toward you, and even as subtle as it was no one missed it.
"Of course, I'm here. Where else would I be but here with you?" the nerve, the audacity, another glare she sent your way. "I'm actually surprised Y/N showed up. You managed to act like a friend for once.”
You felt Tara go stiff at that, the tension, the disapproval radiating from her, you feared she would argue back, and this wasn’t the time for that.
"Where would my life be without your approval, Amber?" self-control be damned, preventing the argument between the two of them was more important, release the snark, target Amber. Tara stifling the tiniest laugh made it even better.
"Okay, okay, let's calm down," Wes, as usual, tried to defuse the situation before it escalated.
"Nah, let them go at it, we just need some popcorn," Chad looked around as if he was actually looking for popcorn. "My money's on Y/N, for obvious reasons."
"Yeah, it's not like we came here for Tara," Mindy deadpanned, which thankfully lowered the tension in the room.
You glanced down at Tara, surprised to see she glanced up at you instead of anyone else. There was something in her gaze you couldn't quite decipher. You saw it from time to time; when you first told her you were no longer speaking with your parents, the first and only time she asked you to stay by her side and quit MMA after you came back victorious but beaten and bruised from your first fight, when she told you she was dating Amber, and now. Somehow the only common factor in all those moments, aside from the undecipherable gaze, was the fact that you, in one way or another, always left. Not today, you promised silently as her attention shifted to the rest of her friends.
A brief conversation with her friends and girlfriend later you could see Tara progressively getting tired. Before you could react to that the doors opened again, and you immediately recognized the woman that entered the room. Sam, even after five years you knew it was her, and for a moment you weren't sure what to expect, but the concern on Sam's face when she saw Tara made you lower your guard.
Sam immediately knelt down next to Tara, her hands shakily reaching out for her younger sister. "How are you feeling?" you didn't remember ever hearing Sam's voice that shaky and uncertain.
"You came?" Tara's question, as filled with disbelief as it was, broke something in you and you focused on the heart rate monitor beeping to ground yourself as Sam introduced her boyfriend, Richie, or something, and then went to hug Chad, Mindy, and Wes. She didn't hug Amber and you noticed Amber didn't seem to mind that one bit. After a brief exchange with Wes, Sam returned to the left side of Tara’s bed and raised an eyebrow at you. You shrugged, motioning with your head at Tara who was still leaning back on you, silently telling the older Carpenter sister you weren’t moving any time soon. From the corner of your eye you saw Tara blushing and looking to the side.
Sam just smiled and patted you on the shoulder. “Thanks, Y/N,” frankly, despite everything that happened, or perhaps because of everything that happened, having Sam around was much appreciated.
“Don’t mention it,” you smiled back.
Satisfied, Sam turned back to her boyfriend. "These are Chad and Mindy, the twins, and Wes. I used to babysit them all," she introduced the three of them.
"Which is always how I want to be introduced," Wes joked, lighting up the mood in the room.
"That's Y/N, I didn't babysit her," Sam continued the introduction.
"A very important detail, please remember," you motioned to the trio. "Needed a babysitter," then you pointed at yourself. "Didn't need a babysitter."
"You are like a year older than me, though," Tara teased you.
You did recently turn twenty, while Tara was around three months away from turning nineteen. "Meh, insignificant details," you jokingly rolled your eyes, but grinned when she nudged you lightly with her elbow.
"And Amber, hey," Sam finally greeted Amber, Amber greeted her back, Richie introduced himself properly and then Sam pointed out the elephant in the room. "Where's mom?" the shift in Tara's demeanor was instantaneous and you reached down under the covers to hold her right hand. She relaxed a bit, but you still felt the tension in her body.
"She's stuck at a conference in London. She called me earlier," Tara clarified and it technically was true. Her mother did call, if that could be considered a call. You were willing to bet all of your savings that the drunk woman wouldn't even remember half of the conversation she had with Tara.
"How considerate of her," let it never be said that you always disagreed with Amber, because for once you agreed with her anger wholeheartedly. "Look guys, Tara is really tired, we should let her rest," twice in a row, maybe you should get worried. Her words got the other three to move as well.
You didn't move though. You didn't come with them, you wouldn't leave with them. If you left it would be brief and you'd stay right outside the doors.
"You as well, Y/N," Amber was daring you to disobey her, and well, who were you to disappoint her of all people.
"No," you wondered if Sam was noticing the tension between you and Amber, because, if Mindy was to be believed, it took exactly ten seconds to figure out that Tara was the cause of that tension.
"Y/N is staying, you as well Sam," Tara ended the discussion.
Sam smiled slightly. "If it's okay with you, I could sleep here tonight?" it was a question as much as it was an offer.
"I'd really like that," Tara was smiling, happy to see Sam would stay by her side, at least for some time..
"You got everything you need? Do you have an extra inhaler?" Amber once again shifted Tara's attention back to her.
Tara nodded at that. "Yeah."
Amber leaned down and kissed her again. "Call me if you need anything."
If Sam had any reaction to the revelation that Tara and Amber were together, or the unusual situation Tara found herself in, with you and Amber, she didn't show or voice it in any way.
"Honey, I'll be outside," Richie, likely to give Tara and Sam some privacy, spoke to Sam and then turned toward you. "Uh, could you take me to the break room or something?"
You glanced at Tara, and seeing no issues with it nodded. You slowly separated from Tara, making sure she was comfortable, and stepped outside. Richie only needed a glass of water so it didn't seem like you'd be away from Tara for long. Besides, you wanted to give Tara some alone time with Sam.
"So, an MMA fighter?" Richie's question took you by surprise. "I, uh, recognized the name, I watched a few of your fights," somehow it sounded like he was making it up on the spot.
"Is that so?" maybe the guy was just timid, he was Sam's boyfriend, so you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and figured he was just uncomfortable about the whole situation, about meeting Tara in these circumstances, but still choosing to come here to support Sam. "Well, then you know why I didn't need a babysitter."
~X~
You were sitting on the bed next to Tara’s for once, she was sleeping and Sam was next to her until about fifteen minutes ago, so you chose to give them some space. Keeping Tara safe was more important. Though, it spooked Sam’s boyfriend, as he went off to watch Netflix or something in another room.
Tara hummed, waking up from her slumber and turning to look at you. “Hey,” she whispered, reaching out for you.
Moving on instinct you moved to sit on her bed and took her hand. “Sam went to freshen up a bit, she’ll be back soon,” you told her.
Tara nodded, content at the moment.
And then the doors burst open and you jumped to your feet, ready to fight. Sam came in, her eyes filled with panic as she looked at Tara. And then, seeing as Tara was fine, she just slumped back against the wall.
“Sam? What happened?” despite pain Tara sat up, watching, concerned and afraid as Sam dropped to the wall. You both noticed her legs were shaking, unable to hold her up.
“Ghostface was in the hospital,” Sam’s voice was barely louder than a whisper, but it felt like a bomb exploding right next to you. The monster was here. The one responsible for Tara’s pain was here!
“Are you okay?!” Tara demanded, just about ready to get up and go to Sam, and seeing the look on Tara’s face Sam willed her body to move, to sit on the chair next to Tara’s bed and smile at her.
“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Sam assured her. “I think he was just trying to scare me.”
You gritted your teeth, anger clouding your judgment. All you could focus on was the door, Sam’s confused uttering of your name barely registered in your head. It was all anger, wrath, need to hurt the monster that tried to kill Tara. It didn’t matter that the Ghostface probably took the disguise off and that you had no way of recognizing the person underneath it as the attacker, you just wanted to go out and find it. It was someone Tara knew, right? Those were the stupid rules, right?
“Y/N!” while Sam calling your name fell on deaf ears, Tara was an entirely different case and the anger dissipated as you turned around and looked at her, trying to get out of the bed.
Anger vanished and you rushed back to her side. “Wait, Tara, don’t get up,” you said, gently getting her to sit back down. “I’m sorry, I got angry,” you whispered, looking away from her. You allowed your anger to cloud your judgment, the desire for revenge to make you forget for a brief moment of weakness what was more important.
Tara reached up, putting her right arm around your neck and tugging you down, and you gave in, dropping your head onto her shoulder and wrapping an arm around her. Tara took a deep breath, her hand shaking slightly. “I know, but I need you here,” she whispered, tightening her grip on you and getting you to nod. You’d focus on keeping Tara safe, and if that somehow gave you the chance to fight Ghostface, you’d take it, but you wouldn’t go after it while Tara was this vulnerable.
A bit later Judy came by with Amber because not only was Sam attacked, some guy got killed, likely by a Ghostface, meaning either there were two people involved, or the one person involved was moving really quickly.
"The call came from Amber's number," Judy said, prompting Amber to defend herself only for Richie to accuse her of being the killer. You didn’t pay much attention to their words, instead you tried to find the signs that they were lying, in their posture, in the tone of their voice.
But it didn’t really help you, Amber was as assertive as usual, aggressively stating her mind and Richie, well, you didn’t even know him.
"And where were you when this was happening?" Judy asked him and he suddenly got really uncomfortable.
"I was, uh watching Netflix, in another room. I didn't want to wake Tara up," he tried to defend himself, and then he awkwardly pointed at you. “She also kinda scares me,” he admitted sheepishly.
“And where were you, Y/N?” Amber demanded.
“With Tara, right here,” you replied while looking Amber in the eyes, daring her to question you further.
“It’s not Y/N,” Tara declared before anyone else could say anything.
Amber narrowed her eyes, this time directing her anger at Tara. “Really? You defend her, but not me? Unbelievable,” she huffed, throwing her hands up. “You know what, call me when you feel like acting like my girlfriend,” she stormed out, anger evident in her voice.
“Amber, wait!” Tara reached out toward her and bit her lower lip.
You placed your hand on Tara’s shoulder. “I’ll go and talk to her,” you sighed, it was about time you had a nice long chat with Amber.
Tara looked at you incredulously and you just chuckled and gave her a thumbs up.
This wasn’t going to be fun though. “Keep her safe,” you told Sam as you walked past her and went after Amber. You looked around and noticed her, near vending machine in the corridor, still fuming. “Amber! We need to talk!”
She squeezed the bottle of water she got so hard you thought it would burst and then she turned to glare at you as you approached and eventually leaned against the wall near her. You’d wait for her to come to you, and she did.
"You're behind this, aren't you?!" she demanded rather forcefully as she closed the distance, the water bottle tossed aside. She stopped right in front of you, arms folded over her chest and furious glare present in her eyes. She was so angry you wouldn’t be surprised if smoke began coming out of her.
You could feel your blood pressure rising as you pinched the bridge of your nose. "Look, you already decided that it's me, so there's really no point in that conversation. Tara nearly got killed, set your jealousy aside until she recovers."
But Amber just snorted, as if she couldn’t believe what you were saying. "Stay away from my girlfriend, you hear me? My girlfriend, not yours. Go home, Y/N," did she actually think this would work? That she could demand something and you'd comply?
"That's what this is about? Really? You think I'm behind all of this yet your reason for wanting me to leave is because you're jealous?" flabbergasted didn't even begin to explain how you felt. You really, really, didn't feel like entertaining Amber's jealous outbursts, but you had to try and get her to cool her head so that Tara could rest peacefully.
Amber threw her hands up in the air and stepped back to point her finger at you. "Jealous? Of course, I'm jealous!" okay, you had to admit that one took you by surprise. "Do you have any idea how it felt to watch Tara on the verge of an asthma attack every time you had a fight and Chad didn't call her quickly enough? How many times have I had to be there for her because you won't stop fighting and it frightens her? Do you even know that she constantly worries that something will go wrong and that you won't come back?"
You were genuinely stunned as you took in what Amber was saying, you hated to admit it, but you would probably feel just as frustrated as she was.
"She likes me, she is my girlfriend. Y/N, Tara is mine, but," she approached you, looked you straight in the eyes, and whispered, "She loves you, and no matter how hard I try I can't cut you out of her life or her heart."
She took a few steps back and with a nearly maniacal grin on her face she asked. "So, tell me. If you aren't the killer, what will you do if whoever it is comes to kill her?"
At least that was simple. "Fight. It'll have to kill me before it gets to her. Our issues aside, I think we can agree Tara's safety is what's most important."
The maniacal grin widened. "With pleasure," it was a strange choice of words, but you figured she agreed.
~X~
Tara could barely breathe, too focused on everything Sam just told her. She finally knew why her dad left, she finally knew why Sam was distant and why Sam left her behind. Once upon a time, she thought that knowing why she was abandoned and left with an alcoholic mother that was never there for her would bring her closure, that it would bring her some semblance of peace. It didn't. It changed nothing.
And then you came in and her uncontrollable emotions found a new target.
"Amber should calm down a bit, I think, oh and they'll be ready to move you in an hour or so," you didn't do anything wrong, you were the one person that kept her calm, grounded and feeling safe and protected, it was the future that she was worried about.
"When will you abandon me, Y/N? Before or after I recover?" the question that plagued her mind just slipped out and the confused look on your face stung more than her wounds. At least the pain from her wounds was dulled by the painkillers.
"I'm not going to abandon you," you didn't get angry. You never got angry with her no matter what was going on. It would usually calm her down enough to rationalize whatever she was angry about. Amber would argue back and eventually guilt her into backing down. Wes would get defensive, and Chad would try to back down while Mindy would usually go for sarcasm. You just, in your own words, took it easy, because it was easier to solve whatever issue the two of you had when you weren't fighting. It didn't calm her down this time.
"Don't lie to me! You abandoned your parents just like how Sam abandoned me," and Amber kept telling her you'd abandon her, telling her that it was a matter of time. It wasn't just Amber, almost anyone who knew you would say the same story. While you slept with your arm around her one of the nurses came by.
'That girl wouldn't come to the hospital when her father got sick, and now she won't leave,' that's what the nurse said and it only made Tara believe you abandoned your parents even more. She remembered it clearly, turning sixteen and shortly afterward realizing she was in love with you. For months she struggled with that feeling, afraid of what it could do to your friendship, secretly hoping that you'd be the one to initiate something. When you didn't do anything, she decided she'd confess on your eighteenth birthday, only to be met with a new address and a casual confession that you cut contact with your parents. Instantly she was thirteen years old, and she had just been abandoned by Sam and the fear of you doing the same kept her mouth shut.
And then you chose MMA, despite how beaten up you were after your first fight, despite the fact that she all but begged you not to and it sealed the deal for her.
You sighed and sat down on her bed. "I didn't. It was a mutual agreement, I wanted to leave, and they wanted me gone. No one was abandoned," the world stopped. "I'd never abandon you, Tara."
"Why didn't you tell me before?" she choked out. Why would you keep it from her? That your own parents didn't want you to stay with them? Why wouldn’t they?
You sighed as you reached down and began gently rubbing circles into her right palm. "How about this? I'll tell you why and then we'll leave the rest of the conversation for after you recover, or at least for after this whole thing ends?"
Tara nodded. She waited over two years, she could wait for a few more days.
"It just wasn't fresh in my mind, I guess. By the time I turned eighteen that deal had long since been made, so when it happened it felt more like going to an appointment rather than something significant. I never thought it would cause you to question how I feel about you, or to doubt that I'd stay with you," her breath hitched at that, and you were immediately reaching for her bag to get her inhaler. It wasn't asthma that caused her reaction. It was the way your voice switched from neutral, almost frighteningly cold while talking about your family to warmth and gentleness you reserved only for her the moment she became the focal point of your words.
"Y/N, I'm fine, I don't need it," those words were enough for you to stop and look at her. "Hold me?" you were awkward the first time she asked you to hold her, shortly after Sam abandoned her, but that awkwardness vanished as time went on. This time was different though. She could see uncertainty in your eyes, the worry caused by her injuries. "I can move that much," she assured you. She needed you as close to her as possible, she needed you to hold her to feel safe, the moment you let go of her to go with Richie she felt vulnerable. She felt even more vulnerable, when, after Ghostface attacked Sam, you went after Amber.
That need was what made her less considerate of Amber’s feeling on the matter. Besides, this, you holding her, it was part of how the two of you were even before she fell in love with you. Even if it wasn’t enough of an excuse, it didn’t change the fact that she needed you.
"You'll tell me the moment you get uncomfortable or if anything at all starts hurting," yeah, there was no arguing with you and honestly, she was fine with that in this case.
"I promise I will; now get down here," you complied with her request. It wasn't much different from how you slept before, only this time she was slightly on her side, with both of your arms around her body. In addition to that she was resting her head on your chest, with your heart just below her ear. That brought a smile to her face. The steady beating of your heart and the heart rate monitor beeping created a rhythm only she had the pleasure to hear.
The way you held her, and the care you put into making sure she was completely comfortable stood in juxtaposition to the way Amber kissed her when she came to see her. Amber didn't intend to hurt her, but she didn't take extra care not to hurt her either.
Why did you have to make things so difficult for her? She was doubting her decisions, especially the ones concerning her relationship with you and, due to those thoughts, her relationship with Amber. The promise of the conversation and the conviction behind your words took away almost all of her reasons for keeping her feelings for you under lock and key. And the other reason, you fighting? A part of her hoped you’d give it up now, a selfish part of her hoped that nearly losing her would make you reconsider it. Another, louder part of her, told her she could compromise on that much, that she could do her best to accept and deal with it.
The guilt in her heart suddenly took over. It was several months too late now. At least until she found it in her to break up with Amber. To very likely do to Amber what she feared you'd do to her, what Sam and her dad did to her. To abandon Amber because she doubted Amber could settle for being just friends again. It wasn't your fault, but she was still going to complain to you about it. "You're the worst, you know," she pouted and settled for snuggling as close to you as her injuries would allow.
"Mhm, I know," you easily agreed, knowing better than anyone when her complaints were fake.
"Jerk."
"You know me."
"Let me sleep," she closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry, am I supposed to sing you a lullaby?" you really didn't have to tease her right now.
"Please, don't sing," Tara did not need to be tortured like that. Hearing you chuckle, on the other hand, yeah, she could handle hearing that.
When they brought the two of you to her new room an hour later you effortlessly and carefully picked her up and placed her on the bed. You stood by her side as the nurses handled the rest, hooking her up to machines and whatnot. And then she got to melt into your touch once again as you lay down next to her, and with that same gentleness from before pulled her into your embrace.
As she once again fell asleep in your arms a voice in the back of her head berated her for ever allowing Amber to make her doubt you.
~X~
The sight in front of her really should have angered her. It would be a reasonable reaction, to find her girlfriend sleeping with someone else, and to remain calm would be bizarre. That is, if she actually cared. No, Amber didn't care about how close Tara and you were. Once upon a time, she did feel genuine envy toward you, she envied the way you made Tara laugh, she envied how peaceful Tara would look while sleeping in your arms. Despite what she did to Tara you, somehow, managed to make Tara feel safe.
So, as far as Amber was concerned Tara should have used this opportunity to fuck you, since, well, you'd be dead within the next couple of minutes. Then Tara would never again feel safe. By the time she wakes up she'll be covered in your blood, Amber would make sure of that.
It was fun, honestly, playing with Tara's doubts, downplaying her emotions for you, while simultaneously making her doubt your dedication to her. It wasn't Amber's fault Tara had abandonment issues that were easy to exploit. Granted, it wasn't her or Richie's intention to torment Tara like that, they just wanted you gone. Tara's torment was more of a bonus for Amber. It would make molding Tara into her perfect pet much easier if she was broken by this experience, because, as far as Amber was concerned, her and Richie would execute their plan flawlessly, and Amber would get to keep Tara all to herself.
Regardless, you were a threat, a trained fighter that might be able to stop them. Tara needed to survive the first attack so that Samantha would come back. Tara surviving also meant you'd act like a fucking guard dog. Predictable. She didn't think this would happen, though.
To think that you'd leave yourself this open and vulnerable. To think that all it took was a jealous girlfriend act to get you to talk to Tara and drop your guard. She didn't tell you a single lie, she didn't even exaggerate and Tara being this clingy only proved her words to be correct. You made a mistake, you fell asleep with your arms wrapped around the wounded girl. Even if you woke up right now you wouldn't have time to react, you likely wouldn't even realize what was going on.
If she could tell you one thing she'd would tell you that she was about to carve you up with the same knife she used on your beloved Tara. Poetic, isn't it?
#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x female reader#tara carpenter#scream#jenna ortega x reader
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“Blessed be the fruit”
“May the lord open”
The Handmaids Tale AU
Commander!Joel Miller x Darkish!Handmaid!Reader
Summary: A few decades into Gilead’s conception, you head into your first posting as a handmaid after an affair with a guardian landed you in trouble. Determined to keep your head low in order to keep your son safe, you take on the moniker of OfJoel. Commander Miller has very little to do with you and mrs. Miller regards you with disgust, however you find solace in an unlikely friendship with Commander Miller’s daughter from a handmaid 14 years ago, Ellie who just got done with wives school. You and your friend, Ofthomas start teacher her and her friend Reilly under her mothers nose. Slowly, Commander Miller begins spending time with you and you begin to learn more about the man he was before and an affair begins outside the confines of the ceremony. Although initially you go along with it out if survival, you find yourself falling for the version of Joel you saw in these late night rendezvous.
Which Joel is really him, and how will he react when his own daughters secrets are revealed?
Content and Warnings: DARK JOEL! DUB CON!
Although no violent rape happens like in TWW, reader is under systemic misogyny and a society of ritualized sex abuse. Everything other than the violent rape scenes, everything that happen in either The Handmaids Tale book or show are liable to happen here including but not limited to discussion of rape, child abuse, child marriage, ritualized sexual abuse, sexual abuse in general, acts of violence, major character deaths, mentions of miscarriage but never shown and never pregnancies we know of. Big ole homophobia warning, specifically in regards to lesbophobia. As for Joel, PIV sex, breeding kink, degrading (slut, whore etc but thing like Raider!joel) forced breeding and breeding kink, power dynamics, Joel is not the good guy but he’s also not the worst, slightly rough sex but not violent. Cucking, reader cucks joel's wife, is dark, participates in non con.
Warnings are liable to be added as the story goes but I’ll always update. As always if I miss something please tell me, but i extensively label my warnings and in the end media consumption is your own choice. If you would like to know if this is a happy ending or not you can message me and I’ll tell you that way I don’t spoil for everyone but you can decide if this is for you.
Immersability: Reader has long hair, can conceive children theoretically. At one point, she has to pose as Ellie's mother and I know this can be loaded in terms of skin tone. I am no genetics expert but I know dark skinned parents can have white passing children, like Lional Richie and Nicle Richie. It's up to you to see if this is going to take you out of the story or not.
Undecided amount of chapters
Chapter 1: You meet your first commander, his family, and your new walking partner
Chapter 2: Your first ceremony, and you see something you aren’t supposed to.
Chapter 3: Everything is not as it seems in either Miller household.
Chapter 4: it’s smut.
Flashback Bonus Chapter: Insight into Tommy, Angela, and Joel's relationship.
Chapter 5: Joel takes you somewhere special. Tommy is involved.
Bonus Chapter: Tommy and Angela
Chapter 6: Gina gets what’s coming.
Chapter 7: Tommy, Joel, OfJoel and Angela explore
If you are interested, please comment or say so in a Reblog! Rebloging a masterlist is super helpful to get a series off the ground well!
Thank you so much for your support!
#Joel miller#Joel miller x reader#blessed be the fruit#the handmaids tale#the handmaids take au#commander!joel#commander!Tommy#Tommy miller#dark!joel#the wrong way series#the last of us hbo#dark joel miller#the wrong way fic#non con#dub con#dark tlou#dark the last of us#dark au#ellie williams#ellie and joel
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Freaky Friday - A Stranger Things Story (Part 4)
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Word Count: 13.8k
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, Eddie and Steve (Enemies to Friends)
Summary: Eddie thinks that Steve has everything in life handed to him on a silver platter (including his new girlfriend who Eddie has a crush on). And Steve just can't believe that the kids look up to Eddie the Freak, or that he lives his life without giving a single fuck.
Must be nice. But you know what they say, the grass is always greener.
Warnings/Themes: AU with no Upside Down. Angst, body swapping, dark magic/alchemy, unrequited love, mutual pining, fatphobia (if you squint?), Babysitter Steve, unresolved feelings, manipulation/deception, Things That Require Communication (Too Bad There Isn't Any), Reader gets a nickname (Honey), no Y/N if I can help it, brief mention of suicide, self hatred, loss of identity, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, dry humping
Note: Ok this one...took a while. And after 3 rewrites and me coming to a 3 am epiphany that I'm a better writer than I give myself credit for, here we are. Shout out to @ghost-proofbaby @trashmouth-richie @br0ck-eddie @big-ope-vibes and I'm sure a lot of other people for getting me through this. My computer is currently running like a potato and doesn't want me to add more to this text post.
You can find my masterlist here.
Please do not interact if you are not 18+.
Enjoy!
"What do you guys think he's doing?"
"He seems pretty focused. New lyrics?"
"Nah, he has to be planning something really messed up for Friday's session."
"Or, instead of lurking around and gossiping like old biddies," Steve raised his voice to add to the commentary. He glanced up from his notebook and passed an expectant look at the rest of Corroded Coffin as they hovered a few feet away, lunches in hand, hesitant to join him at the lunch table. "You could just ask. Now are you guys gonna just stand there looking like nerf herders or are you gonna sit?"
The boys immediately jumped and shuffled to the table to take their seats.
"Uh, so...Eddie," Jeff began hesitantly as worked on the latch of his lunchbox. "What, uh, are you writing?"
"Miller wants an essay about the Constitution," Steve explained and scratched his forehead with the worn-down eraser of his pencil.
"Oh shit, and it's due today?" Dave went wide-eyed.
"Nah, not til next week," Steve shrugged, and then looked up to see the dumbstruck expressions on Eddie's friends' faces. "What?"
"You're...doing homework that's due next week?" Gareth laughed. "Who are you and what've you done with Eddie?" The other boys chuckled and Steve couldn't help but crack a secret smile.
If they only knew.
It was another hour, another day, another week in the body of Eddie Munson.
For the most part it had been bearable, and Steve wondered if it was actually getting easier or he was just getting used to it. He really hadn't realized how many plates Eddie kept spinning though, and when he initially questioned how Eddie continued to fail senior year...well he quickly changed his tune.
On top of the Hellfire Club, Corroded Coffin gigs and practices, and the endless parties that he seemed to be invited to deal at, he seemed to take care of everyone.
He made sure the kids and the guys were all protected from bullies, which meant Steve had to perpetuate the whole Satanic facade--he was getting pretty good at the devil horns and tongue. The money he made dealing immediately got split between various stashes around the trailer, then his and Wayne's wallets, which made Steve extremely guilty about the allowance his mother bribed him with gave him. And if that wasn't enough, Eddie was the one who shopped and made meals for Wayne and, surprisingly, Reefer Rick.
Steve had only seen Rick a handful of times over the years before Eddie had taken over as the designated dealer at all the high school and college parties. More recently, Rick would only make a trip into Hawkins to stop by the VFW and then swing by Family Video. He never questioned why...and he almost felt ashamed that he never did before now.
He got too hung up on rumors and jokes. About Rick. And about Eddie.
Steve had promised to play the part though, and he did...but it was really starting to wear him out.
Still...Steve figured that he would make the slightest bit of an effort on Eddie's school work. For all the glory days of high school that Steve had...he was getting pretty sick of Hawkins High. At the very least, he could help Eddie get out of here. And at the most, if he was stuck in Eddie's body forever...well, he didn't want to be a 50-year old high school senior.
Jeff and the guys had mocked Eddie's speech about flipping Higgins off during graduation...and damn if Steve wasn't going to make that happen, come hell or high water.
The younger boys finally took their seats at the table, Dustin practically bursting with frantic energy, as usual, and Mike extra glum.
"What's got you down Wheeler?" Steve asked, throwing a pretzel at Mike's head. "I know it's only Monday but..."
"Someone's keeping my birthday present a secret," Mike groused and Dustin rolled his eyes.
"Here we go. He's been complaining about it all day," he explained. "Lucas and I literally can't have a minute alone to discuss it."
"You know I hate secrets."
"And he tried to bribe Will."
The two of them squabbled back and forth and Steve grinned fondly.
He might've loathed the homework but he was glad he got to see the kids more. More still, he was...almost grateful that Eddie had been there to guide them through the minefield of the first few months of freshman year, since he couldn't.
"Alright, that's it. Shut up!" Steve finally shouted. "You're just gonna have to have a little patience, Wheeler. Just cuz your mommy still says you're special, doesn't mean everyone else is gonna let you walk all over them."
The guys all snickered and made quiet jabs and kissy noises at him, calling him Mama's Boy and the like, as Mike turned red.
"Shut up I don't--hey, how did you know about that?" he narrowed his eyes. Steve's eyebrows jumped in challenge and Mike backed down with a sigh. "Whatever. Fuck you guys...anyway, Eddie, my sister wants to talk to you," he announced in a bored tone.
Now that piqued Steve's interest; he sat up straight and glanced around the cafeteria for her.
As though he didn't know exactly where she and Jonathan Byers sat.
He felt his heart speed up when he met her eyes and she waved him over.
Steve had done his best over the last year-and-a-half to get over Nancy. He'd gone to prom solo, asked new girls out left and right...shit he'd even tried to get her back once or twice. Or at least get her to dump Jonathan. He wasn't entirely proud of it but...Robin had really been the one to set him straight.
He'd faced a lot of bitter realizations but he thought he'd been through the thick of it. Seeing Nancy in passing now and again at school though...well it wasn't doing anything to help that.
And now Nancy wanted to talk to Eddie? Why? They didn't have any classes together--she had practically all Advanced Placement classes and Eddie obviously didn't. Aside from his association with Mike, Nancy steered clear of Eddie.
As Steve got to his feet--ignoring Dustin's cry of "hey can you meet me in the library after school"--a laughable thought struck Steve.
First you had confessed your crush on Eddie. What if Nancy was next in line?
He faltered in his step as he made his way across the cafeteria.
Maybe it wasn't so laughable after all.
Since you had made that little confession to "Eddie," Steve had gotten half-the-idea in his head that...well Eddie wasn't that bad of a guy, what if he could find Eddie a girlfriend or something? He'd tried to ask out a few of the cheerleaders who had approached him about dealing at a party but was promptly laughed at.
And he wasn't gonna even bring up that one girl who was lingering in the theater department last Friday after school, as he went to set up for Hellfire with the kids. He was lucky she didn't just die of fright as he said hi.
What if the answer was Nancy all along?
It almost made him feel a little sick.
Except...
She liked...weird guys like Jonathan...and Eddie was certainly a weird kind of guy. And one of the things Nancy had liked about Steve had been his cool personality. Sure Eddie was sort of a loser...but she was popular now thanks to Steve...what if she liked the cool, bad boy and was getting bored of Jonathan.
As he continued on his journey he mentally calculated the distance between Will and Nancy. Their table was pretty packed--filled with their friends from Newspaper--and there was more distance between them than there had been between him and Nancy right before they broke up.
"Hey, uh, Byers, Wheeler," he greeted awkwardly and crossed his arms over his chest and devoted his attention to Nancy. "You wanted to talk?"
"Yeah can we..." she got to her feet and motioned toward the door.
Steve's heart pounded in his ears as he followed.
"Listen, Miss O'Donnell was a little worried about your grade and she asked if I could maybe...tutor you," Nancy explained, then paused pensively. "Actually, I asked her for a letter of recommendation for one of my applications and she said she would if I tutored you ahead of the midterm. Sorry. I-I do think she's really concerned about your progress though."
"I think the more accurate statement is that she doesn't wanna see my ugly mug in her class again next year," he joked and she gave him a tight-lipped, sympathetic smile.
"I didn't want to agree if you weren't open to it," Nancy sighed. "But I really need that letter. You'd...you'd really be my hero if you did this."
Steve stared at her for a moment, his thoughts racing at all the possibilities.
It didn't really sound like she was tempted to leave Jonathan in the first place but...that didn't mean he couldn't turn on the old Harrington charm. She had fallen for it once...maybe she enjoyed the charm just in a different package. And yeah, he had you waiting for him if he ever made it back to his body. But...if he didn't...
"Listen, I want out of here as much as the next person," Steve finally replied. "So, uh, I'm game if you are."
"Great!" Nancy placed a hand on his shoulder excitedly and Steve could practically feel the warmth of it despite the layers of denim and leather. "Uh...I have some free time after school today?"
Steve vaguely remembered Dustin wanting to meet him...he was sure it had something to do with the spell and he certainly didn't want Nancy to find out about that.
"I, uh, have a Hellfire thing," he lied. "How about Wednesday? I always study better with a few snacks. We can meet at Benny's? 5 o'clock?"
Nancy nodded and confirmed the time and place. She placed her hand on his shoulder again, then went back into the cafeteria.
It took a second, but Steve suddenly felt like all the wind was knocked out of him.
"Eddie" had a study date with Nancy on Wednesday.
He had a date with Nancy.
Eddie was halfway through his shift before anything exciting happened.
Sorry, halfway through Steve's shift.
He really wasn't trying to be bitter but...
Eddie had spiraled for a few days after the unfortunate mishap while he was trying to...relieve himself. Sure, it started with "Steve's" relationship with you, but it was almost like Pandora's box; once the box was opened, everything flooded out. He couldn't sleep without thinking of it, and every waking moment, he was consumed by the blaring differences in their lives.
He wasn't himself and it was driving him crazy. Making him sick.
The smell of the laundry detergent Mary Harrington used, the taste of the tap water in their hose, the softness of Steve's bed.
He'd tried to get comfortable in someone else's skin but the truth was that he wasn't going to fit in it, even if he wanted to.
However, in order to get back to his own life, he needed to keep playing the part of King Steve Harrington, keep stuffing himself into a place that didn't fit. Ignore the stifling tightness, the bulges, and the stretching at the seams of his very being.
That didn't mean he had to give up everything that made him Eddie.
He'd had a day off last Tuesday, and he'd just...spent it trying to reconnect with himself.
He'd stopped by Rick's for weed--and also to check on him, even though Rick wouldn't realize he was Eddie--drove up to Fort Wayne to get high and walk through the conservatory, buy some concert tees at the second hand shop.
By the time he arrived at the Hideout for Corroded Coffin's gig, he felt almost whole. And then he had one of the best performances of his life.
Only to realize that he couldn’t fully enjoy it.
Which led him to skip out on Benny’s with the guys after the set, because as much as he wanted to see you, he knew he couldn’t stand to witness the way you would be indifferent to “Eddie” only to dote on “Steve.”
This was so fucked up. He didn’t know how much longer he could take it.
It was as he had that very thought that his beloved van pulled up right outside the store and “Eddie” and the kids piled out, looking frantic and excited.
Dustin caught Eddie’s attention and quickly waved to get him to come outside.
“I thought you were the babysitter Harrington,” Keith sniffed judgmentally from the front of the shop where he was stocking a display. “What’s Munson doing here with your kids?”
“He got custody in the divorce,” Eddie snarled and vaulted over the counter. “I’m taking my lunch.”
“Wh-hey?!” Keith stuttered as Eddie strutted out the door purposefully. “You forgot to clock out!”
Steve and the kids were all talking over one another excitedly by the time he reached the group.
“They wouldn’t tell me shit until we got here,” Steve grinned. “But apparently they figured out how to fix this.”
“What?!” Eddie’s eyes went wide, the prospect of being back in his own body too monumental to not be excited. “That’s great!”
“We’ve translated the passage!” Dustin announced.
“We?” Lucas asked skeptically.
“Lucas translated the passage,” Dustin amended.
Before Eddie knew it, he and Steve were sitting in the back of the van as Dustin, Lucas, and Will went back and forth over their findings.
He felt like he was in an episode of Columbo for a minute. The kids being detectives who solved a great mystery and were reliving their investigation step-by-step. Lucas did most of the Latin translation, but part of it fell on Will’s shoulders. It wasn’t your run-of-the-mill Latin they learned in class but some obscure dialect.
“Which, uh, I coincidentally have a book about because I have actually been coming up with that one-off campaign for Mike’s birthday,” Will confessed and reached up to scratch the back of his neck as he turned red. The other boys whooped and patted him on the back and Eddie couldn’t help but feel proud of him too.
Eddie always said these kids were the future of Hellfire, but truly he couldn't see them having a better DM than Will Byers.
"Anyway," Dustin returned to the topic at hand. "This is what we ended up with." He pulled a crumpled up piece of notebook paper from its place within his backpack and handed it to Eddie.
The page was covered in crossed out words and different scribbles in each of the boys' incredibly distinct handwriting.
"Jeez, you couldn't have at least rewritten it on a fresh piece of paper?" Steve asked critically. Dustin simply rolled his eyes and grumbled something along the lines of "next time you're cursed, you're on your own" as Eddie and Steve leaned together to read the translation.
A journey soon begins,
its prize reflected in another's eyes.
If what you see is what you lack,
then selfless love will change you back.
Eddie felt his throat tighten as the guilt washed over him.
Sure, he had accepted that the fault lay entirely with him--he already vowed not to use any occult books for future campaigns again--but seeing it there on paper just solidified it.
A prize reflected in another's eyes. You. But you weren't some prize to be won. Sure he...he wanted you to be his but you weren't some object. And to think of you that way...well...he knew enough about magic to know that it didn't happen by accident. He had to believe that you were a prize, at least a little bit, to make something like this happen.
He rubbed a hand over his eyes wearily.
This wasn't what he wanted at all.
"Alright, so what does it mean?" Steve questioned.
"It means you two are jealous of each other," Lucas explained.
Both Steve and Eddie stiffened.
"What?" they exclaimed in tandem. They looked at each other and Eddie laughed while Steve simply looked horrified.
"What do you mean, jealous of each other?" Eddie scoffed.
"Oh, come on Munson," Steve rolled his eyes. "Of course you're jealous of me, this entire predicament we're in is because of you and because--."
"No, no," Eddie held out a hand to stop him from continuing. "Shut up. I'm jealous, alright? Jealous that you seem to get everything handed to you. Anything you want? It's yours. Is that what you wanna hear Stevie?
"But," Eddie paused and narrowed his eyes. "Why are you jealous of me?"
"W-what?" Steve coughed awkwardly. "I'm not--"
"Why did you say that Sinclair?" Eddie jumped to his feet and pointed at Lucas. "Why did you say that we were jealous of each other?"
"Uhhh..." Lucas squirmed a little under the intense scrutiny of the older boys. "W-well...it's about the way the sentences were structured. I'm not...I'm not an expert or anything but it's referring to you in plural. If what you, vōs, seek is what you lack. Not you, tu."
Eddie then turned back to Steve and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Well?" Eddie asked expectantly.
Steve was still for a moment before he began fidgeting. He fumbled over his words--a bunch of well-you-sees and you-don't-understands--as he pinched the bridge of his nose and ran a hand through his hair. Eddie watched, almost sympathetically knowing how hard it was for him getting used to Steve's unfamiliar body, as Steve faltered with his longer mane.
"It's...I...it doesn't matter!" Steve finally shouted. He jumped to his feet and put his hands on his hips; he began pacing back and forth, one arm occasionally flailing as he gesticulated. "It doesn't matter why I'm jealous of Eddie? So what? We need to figure out how we can fix this.
"Selfless love? For what? For each other?" Steve blew a raspberry childishly. "Fat fucking chance. There has to be another way. I don't care what we need to do. I just want to change back."
"Change back from what?" a light, raspy voice sounded from over their shoulders.
The entire group stiffened and turned toward the voice and, lo and behold, there stood Robin. Shuffling her feet back and forth restlessly, frozen in place as she tugged her family video vest from her backpack. The moment everyone's eyes were on her, she grinned bashfully and waved at them all.
"Well, shit," Steve cursed in the most Eddie-like fashion.
If it had been up to Steve, Robin would never have found out about the whole...switching bodies...curse...spell...thing...
But when did something he wanted ever be taken into account by the universe, huh?
As soon as the group had realized Robin was there, all of the deflection and anger drained from Steve's body. He felt guilty for another one of his friends getting dragged into this mess. Because as much as he was happy to let Eddie take the fall, the fact of the matter was that Steve was just as jealous of Eddie.
As much as Eddie had admitted to being of him.
Steve had wanted to give her an explanation right then and there, and he would have if Keith hadn't chosen that moment to be his usual effervescent self.
"I'm closing the arcade tonight," he opened the door and glared across the parking lot at "Steve" and Robin. "So you need to clock in Buckley, and if your friends are still here by the time I take my break later, your hours are getting cut."
If there was one thing Steve had to choose that he didn't miss about his own life, it would be his boss.
So Steve brought the kids home and then returned to the Family Video parking lot to endure panic-inducing silence as he waited for Eddie and Robin to close the store. He could have listened to one of Eddie's endless tapes or smoked--Eddie's body was constantly craving one thing or another: cigarettes, sugary or salty snacks--to kill the time. He simply couldn't bring himself to do it.
It was a literal out-of-body experience. He watched himself and Robin talk and laugh as they went back and forth, helping customers and cleaning up once the store was empty. He knew his friend, knew that she was stronger and smarter than other people gave her credit for.
But this? This made him feel dizzy sometimes if he thought about it too hard.
He hoped they wouldn't get too far, so he could at least...have a decent conversation with her for the first time in a few weeks. Short of seeing her in passing at school...well...he hadn't gone this long without talking to Robin since they became friends.
And he really needed his best friend right now.
Eventually the lights in the businesses of the strip mall began to click off, one by one, and Steve practically held his breath until Family Video's lights finally shut and Eddie and Robin exited the building.
Eddie slapped a hand on Robin's shoulder and said something that made her roll her eyes before he got into Steve's car and drove away.
Robin made a beeline for the van and silently hopped into the passenger's side. Steve's hands--Eddie's hands--gripped the steering wheel tightly enough that he could feel the rings cutting into the creases of his fingers.
The atmosphere in the van was heavy as he sat under Robin’s scrutinizing gaze.
"I knew something was up," Robin finally announced as she slammed the door closed. Steve looked at her as though she had grown a second head.
"What do you mean ‘you knew?’” Steve asked incredulously.
She sighed and began counting on her fingers.
“You’ve been a real grouch when you’ve picked me up from class lately and I know you’re a morning person. Which sucks, by the way. You asked if I wanted to skip home room and get McDonald’s breakfast with you, you hate McMuffins—”
She went on and on, and Steve melted. Yeah, he could admit they had their squabbles and they didn't always see eye to eye. But at the end of the day, no one really understood them like they did each other.
And it felt really good to be understood as Steve Harrington right now.
"--and then you're always complaining when your mom doesn't cut the crusts off your sandwiches and lately you've just been eating them. Also I mentioned something about Vickie the other day and you just ignored it, so I figured that you were just annoyed with me."
She heaved a little bit at the end, having said the last bit in one go without stopping for air. Steve reached across the console and flicked her ear, causing her to slap at his hand.
"Ow, butthead! What was that for?" she exclaimed.
"Are you fucking kidding me Rob?" Steve burst out laughing and Robin chuckled along with him. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"How was I supposed to know you switched bodies?" she slouched into her seat. "Here I was thinking that you just didn't wanna be friends with me anymore. Which, you have to admit, is a more likely explanation."
Steve was about to protest but he stopped mid-word and frowned.
"You know what? You're right."
"I know," she grinned smugly. "Now what have you been up to and how much help do you need with this whole 'switching back' thing? Because Eddie isn't that great at being Steve, which means you must really suck at being Eddie."
They went back and forth as Steve put the van into drive and regaled Robin with stories and mishaps in the short time he'd spent as Eddie Munson, and she laughed at his stupidity.
After he left Family Video, Eddie found himself driving aimlessly through the streets of Hawkins. He thought a weight would have lifted off his shoulders after he explained everything to Robin, but everything was...almost a little worse now.
She'd had questions, like any normal person would. Actually, a normal person would have just had them committed. Robin was special though; her own brand of freak. And she was quick to adapt.
Eventually though...the topic turned to you.
When was Eddie gonna tell you what happened? Did you already know? You deserved to know before you fell too hard for Steve; otherwise, you'd be heartbroken if you ever found out that he was actually Eddie.
Of course, that only fed into all of Eddie's insecurities and self-hatred. All of the doubts he had spent days trying to stuff into the furthest corner of his mind returned with a vengeance.
You wouldn't feel the same thing about him if he was actually Eddie Munson.
Robin didn't know exactly what her words had done to him; she was fully oblivious to his real feelings for you. So he'd done his best to keep those thoughts at bay, and resolved to treat himself to a drive around with the windows rolled down and headband to Metallica as he smoked.
But then Robin opened her big mouth as they locked up for the night and it sent him into another spiral.
"You know...with a little more time, I would have probably figured it out," she chuckled. "You're not as good at being Steve as you think."
At first he wondered if that meant you might figure it out with a little more time. You were sharp, especially when it came to other people; what if one day he did something so inexplicably Eddie that you simply refused to believe he was Steve anymore. Sure, you probably wouldn't be able to guess that he actually was Eddie but...he wouldn't be the Steve you liked anymore.
If he did tell you the truth, would you break up with him? Would you hate him? He'd gotten close many times...but it was just so...ridiculous.
But then Eddie realized that he had been banking on the fact that he was doing all sorts of lovely things with you, had such a deep connection with you--he thought so, at least--and that Steve himself could never live up to it if they switched back.
What if he had you wrong all along? And it wasn't the deep connection that you both built? But just...the fact that he was Steve? You really hadn't had many .boyfriends during school, when you hung around with Mickey's sister. Or any, actually. What if you had a crush on Steve all that time and now...
Eddie felt sick.
Sicker than he was the other night. Sicker than he felt after a bad high. All he wanted was to go back home; not the empty Harrington house, but home. Back to the trailer and his stupid bed and to Wayne, who would give him a stiff hug once he saw Eddie was feeling so down.
But he couldn't.
So he went to the place that felt the next closest to home as he could get right now.
To Benny's.
Benny's had always felt like home to him. When his mom was still alive, waiting tables. She'd pick him up from school and sometimes bring him to work with her. He'd sit at a table in the very, very corner scribbling in his notebook or reading; she'd always scold him to do his homework but Benny would bring him a milkshake and tell Eddie that if he never finished school Eddie didn't need to either.
And to you.
You'd become more home than he ever realized before. Faced with the thought of losing you, he knew he would get over the pain if he absolutely had to. He could move on. But something would always be missing. If none of this had ever happened, the home that you were to him would have stayed cherry pie slices on Tuesday nights and the scribbles in his old notebooks.
But now he knew the taste of your kiss and the weight of your hand in his. He couldn't pretend anymore. He had to know.
Eddie didn't hesitate as he pulled into the gravel parking lot. He was out of the car and headed into the diner as soon as the keys were out of the ignition.
It was almost closing time, so the diner was pretty quiet save for a family finishing up a late supper and Chief Hopper who sat at the counter with a slice of apple pie, chatting with Benny through the serving hatch. You were hunched at a table--the very same table his mom would sit him at--rolling silverware; your eyes darted around the diner every so often to make sure your customers were taken care of, and they immediately sparkled when they landed on him.
The motivation he had to make it into the diner was immediately replaced by those stupid nerves.
"Hey honey," Eddie greeted nervously once you crossed the diner and stood before him. The courage momentarily gone, especially as you made it to the door to greet him. "Uh...table for one?"
"We're about to close," you frowned and glanced over your shoulder. "Uh, but I can ask Benny if--"
"Wait, no," Eddie stopped you before you could go anywhere. "I was just kidding. I really wanted...to see you. I missed you."
"Oh! I missed you too," you grabbed his hand in yours and squeezed. "It looks like you came here straight from work. Everything ok Steve?
His ears started ringing; there it was again.
Steve, Steve, Steve.
The name he had gotten so used to and so sick of. The person he had gotten so sick of being.
"What do you like about me?" he sought suddenly, desperately. "Like...really, why did you agree to go out with me when you could have...dated any other guy?"
Your eyes went wide and you began squirming nervously. He couldn't quite place it but there was something there...something that made him even more nervous.
"Uh, hey Ben, can I take a quick 5?" you asked over your shoulder and Benny poked his head through the window. He narrowed his eyes at "Steve" momentarily but nodded.
"No funny business kid," Benny warned. "She's the best I've got."
You pulled Eddie out the door and to the side of the building, where you took your breaks. Where he had danced with you last week.
"So?" he began impatiently. "Why do you like me?"
"Where is this coming from?" you questioned quickly. "Did...I don't know...did Eddie say something to you?"
"Eddie?" Had you...told him something? Something that would upset "Steve?" What would you tell him? And why hadn't Steve mentioned anything about you talking to him.
Eddie tried to rationalize it. You saw him as a friend, and Steve knew you thought Eddie was a friend. Steve still saw you as his own girlfriend. Maybe you were trying to...Maybe you...Maybe he...
Fuck it was really confusing if he really thought about it. He just needed a straight fucking answer. Otherwise he was gonna go crazy.
"No," Eddie shook his head. He would have to go out on a limb here. "No Eddie didn't say anything but I...I don't know. We've been going out for a little while I guess...even when I first asked you out, I never asked why you said yes. And I just...don't know why you would even want to go out with me."
Your eyes got sad, and took a breath, almost relieved, as your fidgeting stopped.
"I mean, I guess...I've had crushes and stuff before," you began.
Crushes? Oh god, what if you were about to confess you had a crush on Steve. Steve...well he understood, Steve was handsome...not his type...it would hurt but he understood.
"N-no one ever...ever really wanted to ask me out for more than...than a party or something," you chuckled. "I mean they did but...high school right? Everyone kind of sucked. You kinda sucked too Steve.
"And I really wasn't...ok it's funny because I was actually planning to break things off with you." You chuckled and Eddie perked up a little. "You were kind of...self centered, and you...you kept...I don't know. I know you had that breakup with Nancy, so I didn't want to be mean, but you just kept bringing her up!
"But then you...you really surprised me. I told you...you're not...not anything I expected. You don't even seem like you were when you first asked me out. You're...caring and you listen. You're funny, and you like classic horror movies? And then you--"
You went on and on, eyes getting brighter with each word. Eddie felt lighter. Everything you said that you liked about him, well they were all about Eddie. Not Steve.
He was...he was getting in his head for nothing. That's all it was. It was just...nerves and...and...he had nothing to worry about. He could have you, when all was said and done. Hell, he could probably tell you right now once you were finished; tell you the truth about the spell, tell you that he was Eddie, tell you that he...liked you and that you were the thing that kept him going all this time.
You'd probably be...confused. But you knew him. You knew Eddie. It would all make sense in the end. And hopefully, you wouldn't turn him away.
In that moment, however, seeing that pride and confidence take over you as you listed all the reasons you liked him--the way you were so sure of your feelings--made Eddie's own confidence falter. He wasn't an idiot, he knew that telling the truth felt freeing. To you, you were just confessing how much you liked "Steve," and while all of the things you just said made him...so incredibly happy...he couldn't help but wonder...
What if you were angry that he kept this secret from you? What if you...hated him for lying?
Robin said it herself, you deserved to know the truth, before you fell too hard. He should have told you immediately. He shouldn't have acted in his own interest. You were...you deserved so much better.
The doubt you just helped brush away began festering inside of him again.
You deserved to know the truth, but he couldn't hurt you more now. And as much as he wanted you to...to love him, to love Eddie Munson he knew that you would feel too betrayed to ever trust him again if he told you.
"--and it kind of helps that you're really cute too." You finally finished with the brightest, most tender smile he ever saw. "Sorry I guess that's just the long winded way of me saying...I really like you Steve."
And as Eddie ignored the twist in his gut at Steve's name--as he kissed you--he decided that he simply couldn't tell you the truth. Ever.
Eddie felt bad just leaving after he barged into Benny's like that, and to be completely honest, even though the guilt was eating at him he didn't want to leave your side. He convinced you to go out with him for a late night snack and then he followed you home where he gave you another sweet kiss on your front porch.
"You're spoiling me," you giggled as you fiddled with your keys.
"You deserve a lot more than I can give you, Honey," he told you truthfully. "So much better than someone like me."
"Impossible."
It was close to midnight when he pulled into the Harrington's driveway, and Eddie cursed when he noticed the two expensive cars parked beside each other and the lights on in the house.
He hadn't had the misfortune of encountering both of Steve's parents at the same time yet. His dad was usually at work and mom usually just...gone, so the few times he did see them...they were just on their own and he could dodge any questions or conversations.
"Whatever you do, just don't talk to them," Steve had told him. And Eddie had kept up that end of the deal so far. He couldn't be so sure now. He would just have to try his best to get up the stairs and into bed before they noticed their "son" was home.
Eddie turned the key in the lock as quietly as he could, entered the house and closed the door behind him without more than a click. He avoided dropping his keys in the little dish on the table in the hall--
There was chatter coming from the living room, quiet laughter. That was odd. From what Steve made it sound like, his parents always fought.
--but he couldn't avoid running into the table itself. The table wobbled and the other keys in the dish clattered and caused a commotion. The laughter stopped abruptly.
"Steven?" Mary's voice sounded frantic and alarmed.
Shit.
"Yeah mom, it's me." Eddie winced and tried to steady the table.
"I didn't think you'd be home tonight, it's already so late." She was immediately in the hall, eyes darting around, arms crossed over her chest. Her makeup was smeared and hair disheveled. Even her clothes looked in disarray.
Gross. Eddie didn't want to think about the Harringtons fucking on the couch he took a nap on the other day.
"Worked late," Eddie answered dismissively, wanting desperately to get out of this situation. "Just like dad does."
Eddie tried to take a step around her--if they knew he was home, he might as well grab some water or a pop before he went up to bed. Maybe a beer if he had to think of Steve's parents like that. Mary immediately stepped in front of him and blocked his way.
"I was worried," she stated blankly, eyes dead on him now.
"Clearly not, if you thought I wasn't coming home," Eddie snarked, annoyed now that she was making this difficult for him. Here was the bitchy PTA mom Mary Harrington he knew and loved. "I just want to get a snack and go to bed."
"It's late, just go to bed Steven."
"No, I--"
"Now is that really any way to talk to your mother?" a deep voice sounded from behind Mary.
Eddie rolled his eyes, now ready for a fight with Big Papa Harrington--
The thing about the Harringtons was that they looked like something out of a Sears Catalog. Tom was tall with salt-and-pepper hair that coiffed perfectly on his head, bright blue eyes, and a firm, trustworthy voice that always meant business. Mary was a petite brunette with warm hazel eyes, impeccable taste in clothing, and a sweet voice that went shrill when she was upset. And Steve was a good mix of the two; the perfect poster boy for their coveted suburban life.
--only to freeze in surprise when an older man with blond hair stepped out of the living room. His necktie was in his hand, lipstick was smeared across his mouth, and he was shrugging on his suit jacket. The flag pin on his lapel glinted in the hall light, like the unspoken warning in his eyes.
Eddie's mind raced as he tried to make sense of it all.
Steve asked him not to talk to either of his parents very much, to keep their interactions with him short. How he got bitter at even the mention of his parents. The lunches, the calendar, the laundry. The allowance money that she gave him, even though practically everyone knew Steve had been cut off from his dad's wallet. Eddie thought that the allowance money was the secret they were keeping from Tom.
"You can't be mad at me forever, Steve," she had told him the other day.
"It's good to see you again, Steven," he smiled his election-winning smile and put a protective hand on Mary's shoulder. "We were just discussing how the historical society is contributing to the--"
"Larry was just leaving," Mary announced and glared up at Mayor Kline. The Mayor nodded and patted his hand on her shoulder once again before he slunk between them and out the door, Eddie's eyes following him until he was gone.
For all the gruff manner about him, Eddie's uncle Wayne was a bit of a gossip monger. Always had been. He got most of his gossip from the ladies around the trailer park that would offer a cup of coffee in exchange for some handyman repair work that they couldn't do themselves. So Eddie had become quite adept in Hawkins gossip. Rumor around town was that Tom was the one cheating. It was why Mary had the nicest car and the most expensive jewelry. It was why she went on all of his business trips and was treated to lavish weekend getaways.
No one expected that...
"You're cheating on dad," Eddie practically spat at Mary. She heaved a heavy, tired sigh and rolled her eyes a little bit.
"Yes Steven," she agreed. "We've been through this all before. I'm ruining the family, your father is going to be heartbroken, but I don't think I see him here." She waved her arms out and looked around.
"It's past midnight and he's still at the office crunching the numbers," Mary continued. "There are things you just don't understand and you won't until you're grown up and married. But seeing how late you're coming home. Working late. Just like dad.
"So I don't want to hear it from you. I already made you a deal. You got your allowance back. I get to keep my secrets."
She waved her hands dismissively then turned back into the living room, leaving Eddie behind in the hall to process the entire conversation.
He went through the motions as he trudged up the stairs and got ready for bed. As he went to brush his teeth...he stared at his reflection. At Steve's reflection. Stared into tired eyes with purple circles underneath them and a gauntness that hadn't been there earlier.
On top of all the other shit he was feeling...this especially was heavy, and sickening.
Not because Eddie was fond of Mary or Tom or douchebag Mayor Kline.
Not because he was under some illusion that marriages were supposed to be perfect and families were happy.
Not even at his own partial triumph that the perfect Harringtons were truly about as far from perfect as one could get.
But at the realization Steve had to live with the truth that could break up his family.
Steve's visit had you practically floating through the next few days. It was unexpected and so...perfect.
You had gone a few days without seeing him. Not that...you were trying to be clingy or anything. But for the past two weeks he had been consistent in his attention and affection for you...and for it to suddenly stop the day after you tore up your diary and resolved to get over Eddie?
After you told Eddie about your crush in the first place?
It had you in a panic. And, of course, instead of try to communicate and reach out at all, you internalized it and catastrophized.
What if Eddie told Steve? What if Steve hated you now? What if that's why he hadn't called? Or come in with the rest of the guys after their next show?
You thought it all came crashing down when Steve had stopped by and asked you why you went out with him. You thought he was trying to get the truth out of you and for a moment...it felt like the worst thing in the world.
Losing Steve felt like the worst thing that could ever happen to you.
But when he asked again, seeming so lost and insecure. God, it just cut you, because...how could he not see how great he was? Why did he doubt that you liked him?
You relived it after you got home that night. Went over every moment, tried to make sense of it all. Tried to pinpoint anything you had done. And really the only thing you could think of was telling Eddie about your crush.
But...the good definitely outweighed the bad. Your little self-pity and worry over Steve's abandonment of you had vanished and...even now, you were still giggling over him. Over the happiness you felt that you liked him so much, that he liked you back. Liked you enough to worry that you might not like him.
You had to admit that it all felt silly. All of the back-and-forthing, all the doubt. But silliness was good, and it just made the days pass by swiftly. Benny had kept grumbling good-naturedly at your bright smile. He teased you and asked if you needed a quick 5 minute break later and if Steve would be waiting outside for you after close.
Hell, even Lynn's bitterness wouldn't ruin your good mood.
"Alright, Sunshine," she groused at the start of the early dinner rush, just as you came back from your break. "Better hike up that skirt a few inches. Your boyfriend's here, so you gotta look extra cute if you want a good tip. God knows your serving isn't good enough for it."
You felt yourself getting hot from embarrassment; not for Lynn's rude comments but because she said boyfriend, the fact that he was so recognizable now.
God, if Steve was here, Benny would never let you hear the end of it. But how did she know? Steve had work on Wednesdays...
You subconsciously touched your hair and adjusted your uniform before stepping into the dining room. Your eyes swept over the tables, looking for his familiar fluffy head of hair...only to come across another incredibly familiar head.
Your boyfriend. Lynn thought Eddie was your boyfriend.
Eddie's long, curly mane took flight as his head was thrown back, his laughter lost over the din of chattering customers. For a second you assumed he would be there with Jeff or Gareth--hell, he might even be there with Mickey catching up--until you saw the ultra-styled brunette perm that bounced with every motion.
In that moment, you either turned to stone, or you fell into a deep, dark abyss. It was hard to tell. It could have been both. Or neither. But something happened to you and you ceased to exist as you did just seconds before. Benny's little bell in the service hatch sounded flat and distant. The grumpy old man demanding coffee simply melted into the floor. Lynn became a blur in your peripheral vision and phased between tables like a phantom.
And Eddie and Nancy remained in perfect, painful focus.
Nancy Wheeler. Nancy Wheeler. Nancy Wheeler.
The bell in the window dinged twice and Benny shouted something to Lynn, effectively breaking you from your trance. You wiped your now-clammy hands on your apron and quickly approached the table.
"Hey, how's it going today? Can I get you guys something to drink?" You forced a polite smile onto your face and glanced between them.
This was the closest you'd been to Nancy...possibly ever; she was a year younger than you and aside from your interactions with Steve now, you really never had any business hanging near him when you were still at Hawkins High. She was really pretty. Her blue eyes sparkled, her smile was cute, and her voice was sweet and soft as she asked for coffee, please. Some dark part of you that made you hate yourself though that she was everything you weren't, and you couldn't blame it because Eddie was looking at her like she hung the stars.
"Eddie, are you gonna order?" Nancy's eyebrows jumped expectantly. "It's busy, I'm sure she has other people to help."
"Oh he's a regular he gets--" you started to defend him but Eddie cut you off.
"Just ice water." He didn't even look at you. "Thanks honey."
Your throat got tight and you shot them both a tight smile with a quick "be right back."
How did she do it? How was she...how did she get everyone? She had a boyfriend right? Unless they broke up. But still...she had Steve hung up on her for God-knows-how-long, and now Eddie was like a lovesick puppy.
Your mind raced as you retreated back to the kitchen and went through the motions of your job. Lynn was terrible about starting a fresh pot and you were relieved that you'd have an extra minute of respite to think before you did something stupid like spill hot coffee in Eddie's lap.
What were they doing here? Was this a date? You thought...you saw textbooks on the table. Were they just doing homework or...did they have class together? You'd offered a study session with Eddie once. Not a date. And it was in the library and not Benny's. Fuck. Was it a date? Fuck. And he never looked at anyone like that, let alone you.
Your movements were jerky and full of emotion. Coffee grounds spattered as you scooped them into the brewer, you slammed Eddie's water glass onto the counter, and by the time you were halfway bent inside the ice maker, taking out your frustrations on frozen water, Benny had enough.
"You need a different weapon to stab that ice kid?" Benny chuckled. You stood straight and faced him with, what you were sure was, a pathetic expression.
"I'm sorry Ben I--"
"You just came back from break," he stated matter-of-factly and crossed his arms over his chest. "What's got you all worked up already? Someone out there harassing you? Need me to kick 'em out?"
"I mean, unless you wanna fire me," you replied tiredly, knowing you were more frustrated with yourself than with Eddie or Nancy.
"Ah," he nodded sagely. "I got it. Yeah, I go 8 rounds with myself sometimes too. Wanna talk?"
Did you want to talk to your boss about silly boy trouble? Trouble that you were trying to work through yourself? Because you were supposed to be getting over your crush on Eddie. You were with Steve...and you just needed to remind yourself of that.
Every time you walked out there and saw them talking. If their heads got too close as he whispered something to her over their homework. On the off chance you looked outside and saw them kissing in the parking lot after they left.
You thought...distance from Eddie would work. But you were friends with practically the same people and he always came into Benny's.
Maybe the answer wasn't trying to push Eddie away? Maybe it was just to get closer to Steve?
You ignored the roiling in your stomach and sighed. Either way this wasn't something Benny could help you with.
"Thanks Ben," you responded weakly. "But it's just...I think I have to work it out myself."
Before Eddie knew it, it was Friday and time for Hellfire.
It was weird now, having Robin know the truth about him and Steve. She was having a hard time adjusting to calling him Steve, knowing he was Eddie. Despite the fact that she had been calling him Steve the whole time.
"I'm just going to call you both Dingus," she reasoned. "That way there's no chance of messing it up."
She actually...had been pretty handy the past few days, trying to find the way for the two of them to switch back. She had checked out a bunch of books from the Hawkins Public Library and brought them to Family Video for them to scour through, had apparently taken to sitting with the Hellfire Club at lunch to prevent Steve from making a fool of himself--fat chance--and grilled both Steve and Eddie on every aspect of one another's lives that might be relevant to their switch. More importantly, the switch back.
"What is selfless love? Is it supposed to be...you doing a selfless act for one another? Because I saw this one test Steve took for you last week. He got a B! And you know he's purposefully having tutoring sessions for you? Must suck for him; he aced O'Donnell's class last year."
She had even been a listening ear after Eddie had found out about Steve's mom, and didn't know the best way to get around to talking to him about it.
It had to be eating Steve up inside...hell, Eddie didn't even like the Harringtons and he felt guilty for not telling Tom that his wife was ruining their family and hurting their son by bribing him to keep it all a secret.
Fuck. Were...were he and Steve friends now?
Eddie normally would have shivered at the thought but...actually it was kind of wholesome...to think that King Steve would slum it with the freaks.
But the line would be drawn if he ever had to admit that Steve was a nice guy. Even if it was the only thing that he had to do to get back into his own body...yeah wasn't happening. Guess he would be Steve Harrington forever.
He was currently waiting at the side entrance to the High School for Steve and the others to get back from picking up snacks for their session.
He actually managed to piece together a semi-decent looking outfit. The last few gigs at the Hideout and Hellfire meetings, he had shown up in Steve's signature polo-and-jeans look. But after digging in a box labeled "donate" at the back of Steve's closet, Eddie found what he was pretty sure was Steve's halloween costume a few years back.
A black t-shirt and some...dark grey blazer that Eddie spent his lunch break adding safety pins too--more punk rock than metal but it would do. Pop those on with some black jeans that he also zhuzh'd up...aka cut holes in...perfect Hellfire look.
He wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb at least. Maybe he could ask Steve to bring him an extra shirt next week.
Eddie's van swerved into the parking lot and as soon as it stopped, the back doors swung open and Gareth jumped out with a whoop.
"Harrington, are you ready for carnage tonight?" he shouted at "Steve" and hauled a case of Mountain Dew over his head. The rest of the Hellfire club filtered out and greeted Eddie before helping unload their purchases.
Steve finally joined them and clapped Eddie on the back.
"Glad you could make it, Harrington," Steve winked and looked down at Eddie's clothes. "Slumming it again? What are you wearing?"
"I don't know, Munson," Eddie ran his hands down the front of the blazer. "Just something from the back of the closet."
"The safety pins are pretty cool," Dustin commented with a wink as he and Mike headed in.
Once the guys were inside, Steve hissed in Eddie's ear.
"What did you do to my jacket?"
"Dude you need to stop trusting your mom to buy your clothes," Eddie laughed. "I'm gonna go cross-eyed with all of the stripes."
"You're one to talk," Steve rolled his eyes. "It's a wonder your knees aren't permanently frostbitten. All of your jeans have rips in them."
Eddie shook his head. Asshole.
"Heard you're getting help in O'Donnells," Eddie remarked.
"News travels pretty fast," Steve kicked his feet, spraying the guys with gravel. "Which of you idiots blabbed. Gare?"
"Yeah he's been making kissy faces," Dave coughed and cleared his throat. "I mean...yeah he's been getting special tutoring sessions."
Kissy faces?
"From Nancy Wheeler!"
Wheeler?
"Mike doesn't know his ass from his elbow but even he knows you're crushing on his sister," Gareth teased, earning a high five from the others.
"Lay off," Steve preened in front of the others. "We've only had two study dates."
"Two days in a row!" Jeff protested. "That's your girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend...yet."
Eddie felt dizzy; what was even happening. Steve was...Steve was dating you, why the hell was he talking about Nancy like...like he was gonna ask her out. Why was he trying to get him to date Nancy?
He grabbed Steve's arm as the other guys headed in.
"Are you...kidding me Harrington?" Eddie hissed. "I don't need a girlfriend, I just need to be back in my body. Jesus H. Christ."
"You don't...listen Eddie, you don't understand," Steve sighed.
"I think I do, you're obsessed with Nancy and you know she isn't gonna get back with you as yourself so you're trying to get her back as me." Eddie punctuated his words by jamming his finger into Steve's chest.
"She likes bad boys," Steve explained with a shrug. Eddie scoffed.
"Jonathan Byers isn't a bad boy. I'm not a bad boy. You're gonna make me look like an even bigger laughing stock than I already am."
"Well it's a good thing that I'm still you then, you get to enjoy life on top," Steve held out his arms. "It's a win-win. I get Nancy, you get not to be an absolute loser."
"Well what about your girlfriend?" Eddie asked. "You asked me to keep her warm. She's a good one. Don't scare her away."
"You can break up with her if that's your problem," Steve said dismissively. Eddie let out a noise of disbelief. "What? Isn't that it? You're tired of going on lame dates? Listen, we're no closer to switching back than we have been. Why can't you just...accept the inevitable."
"So you just...give up?" Eddie asked. "Because...I dunno, it just sounded like you want to be stuck as me for the rest of time as long as you can be delusional about Nancy."
Eddie realized that he was being thebiggest hypocrite right now.
He just didn't care.
Every day he made himself sick with worry that you were going to find out and hate him. Guilted himself over the fact that he had to lie and deceive you. Every day simply got harder, and as much as he reveled in your affections...he knew it wasn't right.
Eddie had gotten them both into this mess because he couldn't build up the courage to own up to his feelings for you...and now Steve was doing the same thing. Who's to say that if Steve--if "Eddie"--had a chance with Nancy, they might never be able to undo this spell at all.
"I'm not giving up, I'm just..." Steve ran a hand over his face. "Wouldn't it be easier this way?"
There was a second of silence as Eddie connected the dots.
Maybe he wasn't the only one to blame here either. They were both jealous of each other. Eddie jealous because Steve was dating you. But Steve was jealous...because Eddie lived a supposed carefree life. Right? Wasn't that what Steve had said? And...and did Eddie not just find out how un-carefree Steve's life was?
"I get it now," Eddie muttered. "It isn't...it isn't just about Nancy. It's all of it."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"If you're me...then you don't need to worry about keeping mommy and daddy's marriage happy," Eddie explained. "You don't need to...work with Keith. You don't have to worry about living up to expectations when there are none."
"You talked to my mom?" Steve narrowed his eyes, his tone full of betrayal. "What the hell man?"
"I didn't but thanks for the warning man," Eddie scoffed. "Walked in on her and the mayor practically hanging off one another. Ah look at you, see? You look sick to your stomach. Don't worry, I didn't tell anyone. But I bet it's felt good the last few weeks, not having to think about whether or not your dad is gonna find out. That your perfect life is gonna be ruined."
"My life isn't perfect!" Steve exclaimed.
"Neither is mine! If you didn't notice, it's as far from perfect as you can get. Maybe you've just been oblivious to it so far. A few weeks is nothing compared to 20 years man.
"What's gonna happen when the state pen calls on my birthday because dear old dad wants to chat. Or..or when you go to Rick's house to restock your supply and he's having a really bad day. You know how many times I've talked him out of just...ending it? It used to be easier when my mom was around but...guess what Steve? She's dead too.
"My life isn't easy," Eddie concluded. "Isn't perfect. So don't act like everything's easier just cuz you want to get in Nancy Wheeler's pants."
"You don't fucking know what you're talking about," Steve rumbled. "Nancy...shit she's the only person who I've ever loved. Who has ever loved me. Maybe my parents did a long time ago when I was still young enough to be my dad's little buddy and my mom's dress up doll. But not anymore. But Nancy? Nancy got me. She understood me like no one else did."
"What about your friends? What about Robin?"
"What other friends do I have besides Robin?" Steve asked. "They're all gone. They left. Even before graduation."
"And that's what you want now? You want Nancy and my friends too? To help fill your lonely little life?"
"My life is lonely? Please. You're playing a make believe game and wannabe rockstar twice a week with a bunch of kids. All your real friends left you behind too. And I might not know what my future holds but at least I have a future Munson," Steve huffed. "If this spell bullshit hadn't have happened, it isn't hard to guess where you would end up. Still living in that trailer park 20 years from now, fixing toilets, and fucking your fist because who would ever wanna be with someone like you? Who could ever love yo--"
Steve couldn't finish that sentence because Eddie's fist was rocketing into his face. The force of the punch made him fall to the ground.
Eddie felt empowered, filled with righteous anger and self hatred.
There was nothing worse than being faced with the hopelessness of his life, the pointlessness of his future...until those facts came from his own mouth.
"You're on your own Harrington," Eddie shouted as he turned on his heel and walked back to the BMW, not stopping for a second to look back, even as Steve called after him. "You wanna fix my life? You wanna be Eddie Munson? Be Eddie Munson. You don't need my help. Good fucking luck."
“Well here we are, Honey,” Steve announced as he pulled up to the curb in front of your house. “End of the Line. Home Sweet Home.”
It was the perfect date. Again.
Let the record show that Steve was the best at planning dates.
Honestly sometimes...it just seemed too good to be true.
There had been the night when he stopped by Benny's right before closing, and you had that chat outside. Even though you had an early class the next morning, he lured you out to the line of fast food places near the highway on an impromptu date and created ungodly mash ups with different sandwiches.
Or Thursday, he asked if you wanted to have a movie night and you suggested your place since Starcourt was always so packed. He had brought a ton of treats and extra supplies to build a blanket fort in your living room. He stole a few kisses when your hands met in the popcorn bowl. And you had gotten caught making out in the fort by your mom.
Then today--a Saturday of all days--he'd surprised you.
You’d walked outside, running late for your shift, only to find him parked at the curb, leaning against his car with a huge grin on his face. Told you that he had begged Benny to give you the day off to take you for a surprise.
"I have the day off from Family Video," he explained. "Figured I could use a little day out. Thought I could convince you to tag along."
As if a Saturday off wasn't surprising enough in and of itself.
It was honestly like something out of a John Hughes movie.
He had driven you into Indianapolis to go to some outdoor flea market. Played whatever music you wanted on the drive there and back. Got you all the roasted pecans and sweet confections from the vendors at the edge of the market had to offer. Made you fall for him more and more as he talked shop, laughed, and bartered for vintage records and cool sunglasses and a handful of pinback buttons.
"'Get Stoned?'" You laughed and picked out one rather large button.
"Like the Rolling Stones."
"I get it," you laughed. "Just didn't think you were into them enough to get a button."
"Oh...they're the Stones," Steve shrugged. "But, uh, figured...Eddie might be into it."
You really tried not to wince at the mention of Eddie’s name. You smiled and nodded but it just had you thinking back to Eddie and Nancy at Benny's. You knew you had to stop thinking about it...especially in comparison with Steve, and it was getting increasingly more difficult when Steve was the one who brought him up in the first place. Hell, when you stopped at a little drive-in outside of Marion for dinner, Steve even ordered, what you recognized as, Eddie's usual from Benny's.
It honestly threw you for a loop and made you feel a little crazy.
Just weeks ago you would have thought…well you wouldn’t have considered them similar at all.
And now…
Now you weren’t so sure.
You had spilled your heart out to Steve the other night, told him all the things that you liked about him. And it wasn't until you got home from work after seeing Eddie and Nancy together that you realized...a lot of the things you liked about Steve were also things you liked about Eddie.
Sure, Eddie and Steve were hanging out more after all, so they had to have something in common. Maybe hanging around each other brought out the best in one another. The glimpse of Steve you got after that third date…that genuine sweetness…was now only amplified by Eddie’s genuine personality.
Then you had Eddie…his seemingly endless confidence was more of a defense mechanism. Behind closed doors or with your heads leant together over homework he was more vulnerable. Sweeter. But now the confidence had almost made way for cockiness and indifference...which you really had never associated with Eddie before.
So the way he smile and looked at Nancy, the softness he freely gave--
The way you always wanted him to look and smile at you. The way that still devastated you not to be on the receiving end of.
—you rarely saw him show that soft side of himself so freely.
Even if Nancy had a boyfriend…well, it was a hurtful sight to witness and you truly hoped Eddie wouldn’t be hurt if she turned him down.
Huh. Eddie pining after Nancy and Steve being…just a sweetheart. A sweetheart you were falling for. It’s almost like they traded places or something.
You pondered the thought for a second and couldn’t help but laugh at how silly it all was.
“What’s got you laughing?” Steve’s voice broke through your fantastical thoughts and you shook your head.
“Nothing,” you dismissed. “I’m just…just happy.”
Steve smiled that million dollar smile of his--bright and sparkling--and tucked his head into his shoulder a little before glancing back at you.
“Really?” He questioned.
“Yeah.”
“Cuz you had a good time?”
“Well yeah, I always have a good time with you.” You shuffled in your seat a little, tugged at the seatbelt and scuffed your feet against the floor mat. “You, uh...you wanna come in?"
"Uh, is your mom home?" He chuckled nervously. "I don't want a repeat of last time."
No. That was mortifying.
"She's actually out with some coworkers. They got some big contract. Some international account blah," you waved your hand dismissively. "Kinda boring but she doesn't get to go out too much. I dunno.
"But uh...if you did want to come in...we could avoid a play by play. If you catch my drift?" You raised your eyebrows seductively and you thought you made the right reference--he was a sports guy after all. But he just looked like a deer in the headlights.
That was just the natural progression of dating right?
You kiss a little or a lot...and then you make out on your couch...and then...so why did he look shocked. You didn't wanna push him...but he was also Steve Harrington. You honestly thought he would have made a move by now.
Some wicked voice in the back of your head piped up.
Maybe the problem wasn't Steve; maybe you were the problem...
"It's ok if you don't want to," you backtracked, suddenly self-conscious. "Because I know you...you probably work tomorrow or something."
"No!" he shouted, the volume of it a little shocking thanks to the close proximity in the car. "Yes that's...no I...we can go in."
You held back a sigh of relief and smiled shakily.
The walk inside was unremarkable, but every second that passed was filled with more anticipation than the one before. Steve teased you for fumbling with your keys, enough that you dropped them, and he gave your butt a little pat. You grabbed him around the middle and waddled him back from your mother's steam-cleaned carpets so he could kick off his shoes, all the while running your hands over his toned chest. You asked him if he wanted something to drink, like a good hostess would, and he simply quirked a brow and said there was only one thing that could quench his thirst.
But before long it was all just a vague blur because he pushed you up against the wall in the front room and eagerly fused his lips to yours.
Steve was always a little noisy, always humming, but his noises became needier the longer you went. His hands gripped your waist and he thumbed the softness there consistently, as though he needed to prove to himself that you were truly safe within his grasp.
He swallowed the giggles that softly escaped you when his fingers found just the right spot.
"Ticklish?" he broke away and pulled just far enough back to grin through those kiss-swollen lips. You whined impatiently in response. "I think I found my lady's weakness...it's ok. Your secret is safe with me."
A voice echoed in your head, soft and sweet. My lady. Gravelly with sleep in the morning before class, accompanied by a bow, as you passed by Hellfire Club on the way to homeroom
No, no, no. Not again. You were here with Steve. Steve. Not Eddie.
"Mmmh, and what about you?" you muttered petulantly, pushing the thought away. He surged forward for another peck but you kept your hand firm on his chest to hold him back. "Isn't it fair I learn your weakness too?"
"I've gotta have some secrets don't I?" He pulled one of your hands away and pressed feather light kisses to each of your fingers, then the back of your hand.
An image was summoned in your mind's eye, the feeling of lips on your hand as you practiced some sort of Shakespearean reenactment for English class.
Eddie needed to get out of your head. Out of your heart.
You batted Steve's hand away, grabbed his face and mashed your lips to his urgently.
There was a build of anticipation; it was frenzied but it didn't feel rushed. Now that you two had a moment alone--truly alone to explore one another without a nosy neighbor or a potentially wandering police officer or a well-intended parent--it was clear that you both wanted this and wanted to savor every minute of it. Memorize every dip, every curve, every plane. Paint the taste of one another on the canvas of each other's tongues.
He tasted like...
Cherry Pie and Cigarettes and Juicy Fruit Gum.
But he didn't chew Juicy fruit. But he did. But he didn't. Steve didn't. Eddie did.
Steve chewed Big Red. He told you so on your first date when you asked for a stick after the bitter taste of coffee lingered in your mouth.
"I only chew Big Red, is that ok?"
But he had chewed gum in the car after you left the diner. He had his pie, he smoked really quick--a habit you vaguely remembered him saying he was quitting--and he had offered you a piece of Juicy Fruit as he turned the key in the ignition.
You compared Eddie and Steve in the car before, chalked it up to them being friends. But now here he was again and it was driving you crazy. You just wanted to fall for Steve in peace. And you were, you really were, but you were also getting sick of Eddie popping up at the most inopportune times.
You pushed Steve away from you and panted heavily.
"You wanna go to my room?" you asked abruptly. Your eyebrows shot upwards expectantly as Steve stared at you with big, dumb eyes and a shocked expression.
"Yes," he nodded eagerly. "Uh, yeah...yes."
Eddie didn’t know how to feel being in your room.
On the one hand…he doubted whether he should really be here. This was everything he had just condemned Steve for. On the other…it really had been the perfect day with you. You quieted the doubt in his mind. All of Steve’s cutting words about…being alone and never knowing love…they didn’t matter when you held his hand and looked him in the eyes and kissed him.
All of the sweet things you said to him the other night flooded his mind and made him feel like he was underwater. Submerged in your love.
If he closed his eyes and imagined the world was perfect, it did feel like love. He could convince himself that you loved him too.
The minute your bedroom door was closed behind him, you had grabbed Eddie and pushed him onto your bed. The plush comforter cushioned his fall and your pillows had all bounced around him and he chuckled.
He craned his neck to get a look around your room—white walls decorated with some posters and cutouts from magazines here and there, a small desk, a bookshelf that was so full it was more book than shelf. He’d learned so much about you the past few weeks, more than he had over the past few years of knowing you, but this…aside from the fact that you had crawled onto his lap and we’re nipping at his neck…this was the most intimate he would ever get to know you. Not your body. But your soul, your mind, your light.
If this was his last glimpse of you he ever got in his life, he would die happily. He didn’t need to pretend things were perfect to acknowledge that he was in love with you. It was a fact of his existence at this point. And he needed to show you.
“H-honey?” He asked softly. “Stop.”
“You don’t like this?” You laved at the point where his jaw met his neck before sucking a bruising kiss there. His nerves were alight at the sensation and blood rushed south.
“Where did you learn to do that? Hmm?” He asked teasingly as his hand gripped your waist. You pulled back and grinned like the cat that got the cream. “Oh? You’ve got secrets? Well I’ve got a secret too.”
Something akin to worry flashed behind your eyes and he reached up to caress the side of your face.
“Don’t worry,” he reassured. “It’s not bad. Let me show you.”
Eddie pulled your mouth back to his and you fell into him, obviously enjoying the soft attentions of his kiss. From there he eased you onto your back, happy to hover over you and press his body into yours. He grinned as you made a needy little noise.
More? He could give you more; he was planning on it. More importantly, you were eager to have him take.
You were soft and pliant against him, malleable, as his mouth traveled from yours, down your neck, and further down still. His hands antecedent of his descent, they prepared you for what was to come, gave you every opportunity to push him away, though you never would. He grasped your wrists and pressed them to the soft mattress above your head, rucked up your shirt so he could attend to your breasts.
Fingers deftly peeled away the cups of your bra and as he suckled and venerated, he found that the little strumming motion he liked to do when he played with himself was also one that made you whine deliciously; calloused pads oscillating over supple fullness and hardened peaks.
Eddie abandoned his paltry devotions to continue onwards. He knelt back and quickly began removing your skirt and underwear, cute little things that would serve no purpose if you were to let him proceed.
“Is this ok Honey? You can tell me to stop,” he assured you. You bit your lip and your bliss-filled face became bashful, but you shook your head anyway. “No? You want me to stop?”
“Don’t stop,” you replied breathily. “Please.”
“I won’t. I’ll give you whatever you want. I promise.”
He ushered you to scoot further up the bed so your head could be cradled by the plush pillows. He couldn’t resist dropping another kiss or two to your lips, to sooth the sting that your teeth were inflicting. Your little needy noises were cute, but you were holding back and he simply couldn’t let that happen.
“I want to hear you,” he muttered, running his thumb over your lips. “It’s just us. No one will hear. I need to know if I’m doing something you don’t like. Or something you really like. Then I know to do it again next time.”
“Next time?”
“Yeah…this isn’t some quick romp at a party or outside a concert, sweetheart. I want to make you feel good again.” He pressed a kiss to your lips for emphasis. “And again.” Another kiss to your breast. “And again.” One last kiss against your stomach before he settled himself in the cradle of your thighs, hissing the slightest bit as his hips came in contact with your mattress.
He was throbbing, aching for his own pleasure, eager for a release that he’d been ignoring and denying himself. He shifted and found a little friction, the mattress and his jeans doing just enough to sate him while he took care of another hunger.
Never let it be said that Eddie hadn’t met a pussy that he didn’t think was pretty but you—open for him and wanting--were gorgeous. Tempting. Eddie clicked his tongue as he finally got a good look at you, fluttering with want, dripping with ambrosia.
“Why didn’t you tell me you wanted more?” He admonished with a smirk, looking up at you with hooded eyes as he settled your leg over his shoulder, nestling in for an extended, more comfortable time. “I wouldn’t have made you wait so long.”
“I didn’t…I…” Your excuse was cut off by your combined moans as he latched onto you, immediately finding the swollen button at the top of your sex. He laved back and forth, teasing you until you whined. The taste of you, the smell of you—the earthy sweetness that bloomed on his tongue and settled at the base of his throat—caused his hips to jerk against the bed and he pulled back a little, eager but ready to let you feel good for as long as he could. He rotated his attention between your clit and your lips and your neglected little hole, kissed and nuzzled and lapped up whatever slick you gifted him.
Eddie moved his hand from where it was caressing your thigh so he could ramp up the fun. You jumped as he caressed your lips, played with the spit and slick.
“Do you touch yourself honey?” You covered your face. “Didn’t I just tell you that I wanted to hear you? So tell me, do you touch yourself?”
“Yes,” you threw your hands down and grasped the plush comforter.
“Do you think of me?” You nodded. “I can’t hear you. Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to touch you? Do you want more?” He blew a soft breath across your thigh and you shivered.
“P-please, more.”
Eddie slid his fingers over you, watched as you shuddered and twitched, basked in your wanton little noises. With his other hand, he shifted slightly and undid his belt and the fly of his jeans, pushing them down just so, so he could rock against the bed, seeking more physical relief. He dove back in with kisses and licks and nips, getting adventurous as he slid a finger into you. You stiffened up for just a moment before he took you to higher heights.
"Uuhnnnhhh, yes," you moaned breathily. Beautifully. "Right there. Yes!"
The tightness was luxurious and his head spun, imagining what the rest of the night might bring. He could feel you panting, getting closer and closer to your peak. He would get you there. Gladly. Again and again. Over and over until you couldn’t take any more.
“Please!”
“What do you want, honey?”
“Please I’ve—“
“You wanna cum sweetheart.” He grinned against you. “I’ll get you there but you have to beg. Come on.”
"P-please S-Steve!"
Eddie froze.
His ears started ringing. His entire body was numb. He couldn’t…couldn’t breathe. It all came flooding back, the realization, the hatred, the resentment. The want to be with you and the fact that he couldn't.
"W-what's wrong?!" you stammered and pushed yourself onto your elbows to get a better view of him. "What happened?"
Eddie couldn't answer. He could barely look at you.
He pushed your leg off his shoulder, and as he did he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror beside the bed—
The freckled skin, the fluffy hair, the rumpled polo, the hazel eyes staring back at him smugly.
--he couldn't even look at himself.
“Please, talk to me. What happened? Did I do something wrong?"
"I just...I..." he choked at the sound of his voice. But not his voice.
He shook his head and pushed himself off the bed. He ran a hand over his face and ignored the questions that came out of you. He quickly yanked up his jeans and barely fastened them. He ignored the belt.
He quickly turned on his heel and ran out of your room. He jammed his feet into his shoes and fumbled with the jacket he had hung on the coat hook by the door to get his keys.
Not his keys.
Steve’s keys. Steve’s car, Steve’s body, Steve’s life, Steve’s love.
Not his.
He let the jacket fall to the floor, abandoned, as he quickly made his escape.
All the while you called and ran after him.
"Steve?! Wait! Steve!!"
Tag List is currently suspended.
Freaky Friday Chapter 5 will be uploaded by Sunday, May 21st at 7pm CST.
#freaky friday au#Eddie Munson x reader#Steve Harrington x reader#Eddie Munson angst#Eddie Munson smut#Steve Harrington angst#Eddie Munson fluff#Steve Harrington fluff#stranger things fic#eddie munson headcanons
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hi, hello - my name is sara and i write depraved things about pedro pascal characters. i'm not super into writing one-shots (love reading them tho) so all my stories are in series format. my DMs are always open, i love talking fics, pedro, tlou, narcos, and anything at all regarding men old enough to be my father.
happy reading, i appreciate you all tremendously <3
To the Light [ joel miller ]
"He was such a greedy fuck, when had that happened? What was it about her that had turned him into this… desperate, frenzied, fucking insatiable man that had stooped to the point of planning his entire day around getting a glimpse of her. It wasn’t just one thing, he knew that, rather it was an amalgamation of everything about her, everything he could see, everything he knew, and the large cavern of things he didn’t know, but wanted to so badly it ate away at him, like a virus, like fucking cordyceps, surging through his body and altering his brain chemistry, his ambitions and intent, so that it was just her, his sole focus was just her."
summary: Joel finds a young woman being held hostage by a group of men while he's out on patrol one day. He brings her back to Jackson, where she's given the opportunity to have something resembling a real life, for the first time. The two of them orbit around each other, destined to crash, if both of their reservations don't get in the way.
pairing: joel miller x ofc / f!reader
rating: 18+ mdni
word count: 96.8k (completed)
see tags and warnings on ao3
____________
Joel finds the love of his life lost in the woods.
Read on AO3
Fic playlist on Spotify
Read insatiable (a To the Light one-shot) here.
Read hearth (a To the Light one-shot) here.
Dawn [ javier peña ]
"It had been wrong, back then, his feelings for her. He'd known that and that's why he'd never let anything happen between the two of them. But he'd always been weak. That first time he'd seen her after Richie had gone off to fight a war just as brutal and useless and the one he'd been fighting out in Colombia, that first time he'd really seen her— just a glimpse as she left the market, bag hoisted up on her hip, long, wavy hair bouncing behind her, shapely legs visible in that little yellow sundress that hugged her waist just right— he'd been a fucking goner."
summary: Javier Peña returns to his hometown after leaving the DEA. He doesn't want the undeserving praise everyone is trying to push on him, he doesn't really want anything at all, beyond a quiet life on his father's ranch, such a stark contrast to the atrocities he'd witnessed over the ten years away. But there's one familiar face that he can't seem to shake no matter how hard he tries.
pairing: javier peña x ofc
rating: 18+ mdni
word count: 71.5k+ (ongoing series) - 9/11 chapters up
a.n. first chapter of my new Javi fic is up! each chapter will be named after a Lana Del Rey song with a corresponding lyric (idk Javi is Lana coded to me). I hope you enjoy <3
see tags and warnings on ao3
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Javier Peña falls for his best friend's little sister.
Read on AO3
Nights Like This One [ joel miller ]
summary: Joel Miller is hired by an elderly woman to fix up her home. However, in the middle of the renovations, she dies and her daughter, Lily, moves from California to Austin to live in her mother's home. Joel continues to work on the house despite the two of them constantly butting heads. Tensions rise and the two are destined to crash whether they like it or not.
(Initially takes place pre-outbreak, story spans through outbreak day, all the way to 2023).
pairing: joel miller x ofc
rating: 18+ mdni
word count: 3.1k (ongoing series) - 1/24 chapters up
a.n. lol hi!!! i promise i will finish Dawn so very soon, and i know i just put out the To the Light one-shot, but I started drafting this the other day and i was too excited to wait so here's the first chapter! i hope you're all not sick of me at this point, because this fic is a doozy, i'm so excited to finally share it with you after it has lived solely in my head for the last five months.
see tags and warnings on ao3
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Joel Miller finds the love of his life right before the world ends.
Read on AO3
Fic playlist on Spotify
Sanctuary [ javier peña ]
"She glanced over at him, her lips hinting at a smile as his pretty brown eyes locked on hers. She wanted him to tell her something now, not that she had taken him here as a greedy means of give and take, even though that’s all their relationship was. Give and take. Just sex. If she couldn’t know his last name or why he had scars all over his chest, then she wanted to know what he thought was beautiful, what he thought was ugly, what existed in both spaces for him."
summary: Takes place after the third season-- Javier moves to San Francisco to escape what he'd witnessed in Colombia over the past several years. The DEA is desperate to get him down to Mexico to help take down the Guadalajara Cartel, but Javier isn't so sure he wants to continue down that path. His decision only becomes increasingly more difficult when he meets a bartender named Emma, whose commitment issues seem to mirror his own.
pairing: javier peña x ofc
rating: 18+ mdni
word count: 93k (complete)
see tags and warnings on ao3
____________
Javier Peña meets his match in the form of a little bartender in San Francisco.
Read on AO3
#fanfiction#pedro pascal#ao3 fanfic#the last of us#tlou#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel tlou#the last of us fanfiction#narcos smut#narcos#javi p#pedro pascal fic#javier pena smut#javier peña#javier pena x reader#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena narcos
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Sydney and Donna will cross paths.
I feel like we talk a lot about Carmy meeting Sydney's dad in Season 3, but not enough about how Sydney is likely going to meet Donna. Emmanuel gets the seven fishes plate and looks over to the kitchen window to Sydney, then we see Donna right outside the restaurant door looking through the window, debating whether or not to go inside.
Sydney never had a mother growing up. I could see her being frustrated and resentful at Carmy just cutting her off that much, because she doesn't understand how he would purposely chose to not have a mother, even if she is shitty at times. Because to her a bad mother is still better than nothing because at least you have something you can work on fixing. And Sydney loves to change people, just look at Tina. Even though Tina was not the same level as Donna, she was still quite shitty to Sydney but she never gave up on trying to get along with her and build trust and respect, and she even did the same with Richie after she stabbed him. Even with Carmy she still always ultimately chooses to see the good in him.
As Syd's grown closer to Natalie, I could see them talking about it and being annoyed at Carmy for not even giving Donna a chance after everything that happened with Mikey. Because they're both much more optimist people than Carmy and both genuinely try to see the good in people regardless of how often they're hurt by them. I could see Sydney reaching out to Donna in attempt to help Carmy, and him getting angry and upset with Syd because he just wants to keep her as far away from his mom as possible.
#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto#carmy x sydney#platonic and messy#chefs kiss#the bear fx#the bear meta#donna berzatto
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BROKEN STEP
CHAPTER ONE IN THE BROTHER BEAR SERIES
Micheal/ Mikey Berzatto x fem!reader (feel free to ignore any gender mentions if you are uncomfortable<3)
Carmy Berzatto x platonic!reader
Richie Jerimovich x platonic!reader
WORD COUNT: 1.3k
WARNINGS: fluff, poor writing, mentions of Richie(yes some of y'all need a warning), and mentions of readers' parents
February 22nd, 2015
It had been two days since the handsome stranger had come to my parent's home.
He had come over to fix the broken porch step my father had been too busy to fix.
Normally my mother would have found the best person she could for the job to guarantee that the step would never step out of line again. But that was normally, she had stopped at an acquaintance's house to drop by a dish of food -that she definitely didn't cook- because she was worried because the lady had recently fallen ill with a cold. She had sworn up and down that she cared but I had a feeling it was just to keep up with appearances, but when she got there she was met with her eldest son. Micheal Berzatto.
He had listened to her loudly complain about how her ‘perfect’ home is falling apart and she has to wait an extra week before they get a repairman to come to fix her front step, even though she had tipped the company double than what was required for their services.
When he and Richie were walking into the kitchen to grab a beer, his mother offered his services. Not that he minded much, it was a few extra bucks in his pocket.
When he showed up at the overly large home, he was met with you. I mean sure he had seen you around, but he had never been alone with you.
Your mother had forgotten the Berzatto boy was supposed to come that afternoon so she and your father had made plans to go on vacation, leaving you at the house to drown yourself in tv and snacks.
You were a few seasons deep on ‘The Walking Dead’ before you heard the loud knock on the door, it was just then that you realized the light tapping you had heard was actually knocking.
When you had pulled the large door open you were not expecting to see him.
The hot son of Donna Berzatto. Even when you were younger and would see him around town you would always think that he was the most beautiful man. Even in your teens.
There was something about his dark hair and brown eyes.
There wasn't a large age gap between you. His 35 to your 24 wasn't a big deal, but when you expressed it with your close friend she had seen it as immature on your part to have a ‘child-like’ crush on someone with a significant gap in age.
Safe to say you ignored her advice even when it made you feel a bit guilty, but you knew it would never go anywhere, it was harmless and it's not like it didn't boost guys’ egos when girls had crushes on them.
He was never really on the market for long after yet another break up with one of his short term girlfriends, before another woman would snatch him up.
He had his head down when you had opened the door before it shot up as soon as he heard the click. His eyes slowly ranked up your body from toe to head, before slowly zeroing in on my face, his eyes twinkling as a smile pulled at his face.
And that was history. You stood outside when he fixed the front step, -definitely ogling his biceps as he worked- and when he finally finished you invited him inside for something to drink.
You guys had talked for what felt like forever. He had this vibrant circle of care around him and when he looked at you it made you feel like you were the most important thing in the world. Like he was actually interested in what you were saying.
It was rare for you to actually feel seen and understood but when you and Mikey started your relationship there was never really a time when you didn’t, even when you guys were fighting and at each other's throats he still treated you like the world's most prized possession.
It was then he asked you out on a date in the most dude way, but as a gentleman nonetheless.
“So hunny, what do you say? You wanna go out sometime?” And because this was the most out-of-character thing he could say; you and Richie would always make fun of him, which resulted in Mikey jokingly telling Carmy to stay single which of course you made him pay for.
After the dinner at the diner and the kiss on the cheek at the doorstep, you and Mikey had been thick as thieves, definitely giving Richie and Mikey a run for their money.
Sure Richie was a little jealous that his best friends focus had shifted from their hangouts to hanging out with the girlfriend, but over time, he had even planned nights where you would all hang out. It was then he realized what Mikey saw in you.
Your calmness and beautiful aura was surrounding you. And it was like you didn’t even notice it. Your humour related to his and you both would often have a battle of who was funnier.
Mikey always swore that it was you but you had a feeling there were some biases there but it’s not like you would ever point that out. A win is a win.
You had a certain bond with everyone in his family.
With Sugar, you knew what it was like to be the mother of everyone around her. Making it her job to check on everyone around her and look after them. Often taking their load of sadness and pain and adding it to her pile to make it just a bit easier for everyone else. Or that she wasn’t everyone’s first thought, even if she deserved to be.
Then there’s Richie, always seen as the bad guy and troublemaker even if he has good intentions at heart, he always seems to have the worst execution no matter how many times he tries to be better. It was a feeling you related to too much, as you constantly felt that way in your parent's eyes. Like you were a burden. Anything you did screwed up their perfect family image even if it was just existing.
And Carm, sweet Carm. He had a stutter and was totally awkward but in a cute way. He had a heart of gold but was a little too shy to show it. He had gone through a lot at a young age, with such a dysfunctional family, sure he didn’t deal with it in the best way but the most common. Most of his family had held it against him for how he handled what they all went through, but everyone deals with their trauma differently.
Mikey ignores the pain and pushes it down, Sugar uses it to fuel her will to be good, Donna dealt with it by taking control and Richie even though he isn't technically related to them; he became irresponsible and started to act out.
I had seen their relationship with the family bloom throughout the years, I had been with Mikey. I had seen the fights, the laughs, Carms graduation, The beef get traction, the hard times and the promising.
And you had never felt prouder to be included in their crazy but lovable family.
When you and Mikey first started your relationship, he mostly decided to keep you away from his family, and at first you just assumed that he didn't think that the relationship would last. But after staying together you realized that it was a way to protect you from his family. As if he didn't want to scare you away.
“As if” you remembered telling him, “Nothing like that could scare me away from you.” and he held on to that as tight as he could. Knowing that you loved him no matter what his baggage was, and that you were in it for the long hall.
[Y'all I'm probably going to be making the Christmas in the next day or two cause I am one episode away, and I plan on making it a long one. So would you guys rather have one long chapter or two?]
TAG LIST: @gloryekaterina @secretjeon @frogjumps-world
#mikey berzatto x reader#mikey berzatto#carmy berzatto x reader#the bear x reader#sugar the bear#the bear hulu#jon bernthal x reader
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Miss May I: Season 5 Part 2
Julian: Sorry we're late.
Victor: It's alright. I ordered you some coffee.
Julian: Thank god. I could really use some right now.
Victor: How was the graduation?
Julian: It was nice. My friend Richie was the valedictorian.
Victor: I know it sucks not getting to graduate with your friends, but that's part of the sacrifices you have to make.
Julian: Yeah, I'm well aware.
Victor: But you work hard too, and I'm proud of you. You got your GED and are a great mother to Jasper. That's why I want you to have this, like your own graduation present.
Julian: Keys?
Victor: It's what the keys are to. I want you to have the lodge. That thing has been burning a hole in my pocket for years and if anyone can turn a profit out of that piece of junk, it's you and your brother.
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Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Family Tree
#sims 3#ts3#simblr#ts3 simblr#sims story#ts3 story#story simblr#miss may i#miss may i season 5#miss may i season 5 part 2#julian lowry#jasper lowry#victor lowry
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