[MMX/Z/ZX AU] You’ve got this, Mama
Summary: In which Vent wants to sit on Aero’s lap as she works on very tiring business work. For @chibi-mushroom, another tired mom who’s doing her best.
Rating: K+
Word count: 2,162 words
. . .
‘Get a job you love,’ they said.
‘It won’t feel like work when you love what you’re doing,’ they said.
Apparently, whoever came up with that innate saying never went into coding. Could coding be satisfying? Yes. Did it also take a lot more time than people gave credit for? Also yes. And that was something Aero’s boss just didn’t quite understand. The pay definitely wasn’t worth it for this much crunch. As Aero scanned over code that was written by some developer 10 years before her, and knowing she couldn’t change the syntax right away in the event it broke something bigger, the abysmal thought that she could be working a standard office job kept her going regardless.
Working from home had its challenges, of course. But at least she had a family that could tend to other matters while she sat in this corner office alone. The twins were generally cared for by X’s older children, which meant enough activities to make the toddlers believe Aero wasn’t home at all. X himself took pride in being able to make dinners on time and in line with everyone’s preferences. The stay-at-home papa tidying and mending the rest of the house in the meantime. Sometimes it was out of guilt- but that was a discussion for another day.
The door to the bedroom creaked open at the same time as Aero’s computer beeped, indicating that she had gotten a message from their project’s leader. The little footsteps that came in after were also unregistered as Aero spent her focus trying not to read the message with migraine induced double vision.
“Mama?”
The tiny voice made Aero stifle back a curse. Such a small sound grating on her nerves, even if it meant no harm. It was definitely one of the twins, though, who were likely avoiding naptime. They were still too young for Aero to really make out which one it was offhand though.
“Not now, bug.” she said without looking. “Mama’s busy.”
This, apparently, did not satisfy the toddler. Instead, they placed their hands at her leg and started to shake it.
“Mama,” they insisted. “Mama!”
“What?” Aero snapped, a bit more forceful than she intended. She turned, finding that it was Vent, and saw him shrink a little from the outburst. Aero immediately felt terrible.
The little child then looked up at her with wide eyes, stretching his hands out to her.
“Ups please.” he requested. His voice was small, like he expected to get yelled at again. It was unfortunately very adorable. Moments like this made it clear why the twins were wrapped around X’s finger with every move. But Aero was their mom, it was her job to be the big, mean boss that Papa wasn’t, right?
“I’ve got a lot to do, bug.” Aero told him, purposely trying to keep her voice still and calm in the hopes Vent would realize he wasn’t in trouble. “Can it wait until Mama’s done?”
“Uuuu-up.” Vent insisted. He even started to crawl on top of her anyway. The persistence of this tiny person was as impressive as it was obnoxious. Giving a roll of her eyes (and the tiniest hint of a grin), Aero helped Vent up into her lap.
“Comfy?” she asked.
“Hmm-mm.” he affirmed with a nod.
“Well, good for you.” Aero replied, amusement etching her voice before absently kissing her kid at the top of his head. “You gotta sit real still like a statue if you want to stay there, okay? Mama’s got a lot of work and her boss thinks she’s a slacker.”
“Sacker.” Ven repeated. He laughed a little at the word. It sounded silly, and it felt silly as he said it.
“Yep.” Aero agreed. She used her right hand to keep sending messages to the team leader- this time even making sure they knew she was a mother working from home with a kid who liked being held. “A slacker is someone who doesn’t work because they don’t want to work. It can be very bad.”
“Hmm.” Ven nodded. “Sacker….”
Aero afforded a small smile as she started to work on the project again. Vent tried to pay attention to her progress, but soon his attention drifted to the hand that was keeping him in place. Humming, Vent picked up Aero’s hand and started to play with it. He experimented with moving each finger up and down, curling them all into a fist and then releasing them. Then, with a small tilt of his head, he gently took hold of Aero’s thumb and gently bit between the nail and pad.
“Hey there kid,” Aero immediately called out- not that she made any effort to pull her finger out of his mouth. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Vent didn’t answer. His gentle nibbling reminded Aero of when the twins used pacifiers more often. It wasn’t even enough to really stop him as far as Aero was concerned. Although the inkling that Vent was regressing did cross her mind. But he was still, like, under three years old. There were people she worked with that still breastfed their six year old. A little nibble on her thumb was the least of their problems in terms of potentially stunting her kid’s development. Plus, neither he nor Aile were biters to begin with, so that wasn’t much of a concern right now either.
The minutes wore on as the mother and son continued in their idle ways. Sitting with Aero, and watching her do nothing of interest, was starting to make Vent sleepy. His nibbles became less frequent -sometimes just sucking on her thumb instead- before stopping altogether. Aero didn’t quite realize he went to sleep until her thumb dropped out of his mouth, allowing the cool air to hit the mildly wet and pruny appendage.
“So is that why you wanted to skip out on naptime?” Aero quietly mused as she ran a hand over Vent’s hair. “So you could sleep on me instead?”
Vent didn’t answer, he was completely out of it. Aero gave a small smile before kissing the top of his head again. One day he’d be independent enough to not fall asleep on her. For now, it was nice. His body was warm and his soft breathing was a comfort. This kid had so many possibilities ahead of him, and she had the power to watch them play out in real time.
‘Do I really want to be a mom, or do I want a lump of mass weighing a little over 10 pounds to lay on my lap, making me feel like I have some sense of control and power to change the world?’
The thought felt intrusive the moment it formed. A stone sank in her stomach at the idea.
“You deserve so much better than this.” Aero mumbled as she ran her hand through Vent’s hair again. “Than me.”
Pushing back the dread, Aero tried to focus on her work again. It was a lot harder. Flashbacks of when she lost her first child hit her like a freight train. No one understood the miracle it took for her to pop two premature twins out with very little complications, after her first died just weeks before being viable. No one understood how those days haunted her. How they crept up on her subconscious and made her wish that she and X were still just awkward friends. No budding romance, no dates that made her feel safe, no nights where they only thought and cared about each other. None of it.
But at the same time…
‘I thought I could be a mom once. I was ready to give up high school and everything just so I could be with that kid. And now I'm just broken. Forced into a family that was already too big before I got here. Can I leave? I don’t think I can now… I’m obligated… And X would…’
A knock on her door nearly made Aero drop Vent. Aero craned her neck around to figure out who was entering the room. It was X’s second child, Fefnir. A bit rough around the edges, Fefnir could be as brash as he was determined. The moment he opened his mouth, there wouldn’t be any peace.
“Hey Aero, have you seen the runt?” Fefnir asked in a voice a bit too loud. “He snuck past me while I was-”
“I have him.” she affirmed, quickly trying to shush him. “And he’s asleep. Take him and go, please. My leg’s fallen asleep and I need to use my other hand again.”
Fefnir nodded before relieving Aero of the sleeping toddler. Once he was confident the kid was safe in his arms, Fefnir looked to Aero. She looked tired. The longer he observed her, the more he found she was still focusing her attention to Vent. Fefnir gave his littlest bro a look before turning back to Aero.
“You’re not bad at this, you know.” he told her. He tried to keep his voice quiet, as to not wake Vent, but he could never hide the inherent rashness.
Aero jumped, as if being forced out of a daydream.
“Where’s this coming from?” she questioned. Jesus, she even sounded exhausted. How much longer did she have to work on this project?
“Call it a hunch.” Fefnir shrugged. He adjusted Vent’s position before adding, “And if it’s any consideration, you’re already a better mother than the last woman who spread her legs for Pops. Didn’t even wait until Phantom was an hour old before calling off whatever the fuck they had.”
Aero couldn’t help but feel insulted on behalf of a woman she’s never met. Not that X ever talked about her, and his kids only spoke of her in derogatory hisses under their breath. It certainly wasn’t anyone who remained in the family’s friend group, that’s for sure.
“She’s still your mother.” Aero told him. Fefnir immediately shook his head.
“No. She wanted money and left when she realized it would dry up quickly. The old man just wanted kids. A legacy.”
For this, Aero let out a bitter snort. “He sure got that, all right…”
“Which is why you’re so different,” Fefnir insisted. “And a hell of a lot better. Hell, I was the one who said you wouldn’t last a week here. And yet, here you still are. You managed to pop out two more siblings for us, for Dad, and you still haven’t left yet. We’re not yours, but we all know that you’d jump in front of a runaway freight train for us anyway. Hell, you’d probably consider it a self sacrifice or something, I dunno.”
Aero flinched. Had she really been around X’s kids for so long that they could guess how she’d act? And for Fefnir to know this, of any of them? Either Aero was predictable, or all of X’s kids were incredibly observant- in their own, unique ways. It made her wonder how Aile and Vent would do in school when they got older.
Her lack of response was apparently making Fefnir antsy.
“Look,” he then told her. “The only one I know of that isn’t an inch bit afraid of you, and the lengths you’d go to protect us, is Juno. She’s batshit insane though, so that’s something to consider. But I also think she believes she’s one of us. Her life before Zero was shit. You were probably the first helpful older lady-person she’s had since her own mother died. As far as she cares, you are her mother now.”
“We have a few things in common,” Aero agreed. “She’s probably just reflecting.”
“Nah.” Fefnir disagreed, scrunching his nose in disgust. He didn’t elaborate any further than that, unfortunately. What he said instead was, “You’re a lot more than a title to us, Aero. You actually care. That’s all a mother needs to do. Care, and worry when one of us inevitably fucks up.”
Aero snorted. “Is it really that easy?”
Fefnir gave her a firm nod before adjusting Vent again.
“Whelp, enough sappy stuff.” he decided. “This kid needs to be put to bed. When’d he get so heavy? Urg. Gonna have to start pressing 40s at the gym soon.”
“Glad you could spare some vulnerability for once, then.” Aero smirked.
“Yu-up.” Fenfir agreed. “Just don’t get used to it, Mama.”
Whether he purposely intended to leave on those words or not shocked Aero more than anything. No one but the twins called her Mama. She was the only person around here who used affectionate (enough) nicknames too. For Fefnir to also call her Mama? He was serious. Or rather, not thinking about it. Aero looked back at her computer monitor and saw her own dumbstruck expression in the reflection.
“You got this, Mama.” Aero then said to herself, a new round of motivation coming over her. For once, it actually felt good to be called ‘Mama.’
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