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pietrasgreeklitblog · 8 months

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Ten Interesting Greek Novels

1. The Song of Achilles: A Novel by Madeline Miller

A tale of gods, kings, immortal fame, and the human heart, The Song of Achilles is a dazzling literary feat that brilliantly reimagines Homer’s enduring masterwork, The Iliad. An action-packed adventure, an epic love story, a marvelously conceived and executed page-turner, Miller’s monumental debut novel has already earned resounding acclaim from some of contemporary fiction’s brightest lights—and fans of Mary Renault, Bernard Cornwell, Steven Pressfield, and Colleen McCullough’s Masters of Rome series will delight in this unforgettable journey back to ancient Greece in the Age of Heroes.

“A captivating retelling of The Iliad and events leading up to it through the point of view of Patroclus: it’s a hard book to put down, and any classicist will be enthralled by her characterisation of the goddess Thetis, which carries the true savagery and chill of antiquity.” — Donna Tartt, The Times (Amazon.com)

2. Circe by Madeline Miller

In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child--neither powerful like her father nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power: the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.

Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts, and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.

But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from or with the mortals she has come to love. (Goodreads.com)

3. Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazanzakis

First published in 1946, Zorba the Greek, is, on one hand, the story of a Greek working man named Zorba, a passionate lover of life, the unnamed narrator who he accompanies to Crete to work in a lignite mine, and the men and women of the town where they settle. On the other hand it is the story of God and man, The Devil and the Saints; the struggle of men to find their souls and purpose in life and it is about love, courage and faith. Zorba has been acclaimed as one of the truly memorable creations of literature—a character created on a huge scale in the tradition of Falstaff and Sancho Panza. His years have not dimmed the gusto and amazement with which he responds to all life offers him, whether he is working in the mine, confronting mad monks in a mountain monastery, embellishing the tales of his life or making love to avoid sin. Zorba’s life is rich with all the joys and sorrows that living brings and his example awakens in the narrator an understanding of the true meaning of humanity. This is one of the greatest life-affirming novels of our time. (Amazon.com) Part of the modern literary canon, Zorba the Greek, has achieved widespread international acclaim and recognition. This new edition translated, directly from Kazantzakis’s Greek original, is a more faithful rendition of his original language, ideas, and story, and presents Zorba as the author meant him to be. (Amazon.com)

4. The House on Paradise Street by Sofia Zinovieff

In 2008 Antigone Perifanis returns to her old family home in Athens after 60 years in exile. She has come to attend the funeral of her only son, Nikitas, who was born in prison, and whom she has not seen since she left him as a baby.

At the same time, Nikitas’s English widow Maud – disturbed by her husband’s strange behaviour in the days before his death – starts to investigate his complicated past. She soon finds herself reigniting a bitter family feud, and discovers a heartbreaking story of a young mother caught up in the political tides of the Greek Civil War, forced to make a terrible decision that will blight not only her life but that of future generations... (Amazon.com)

5. The Silence of the Girls: A Novel by Pat Barker

Here is the story of the Iliad as we’ve never heard it before: in the words of Briseis, Trojan queen and captive of Achilles. Given only a few words in Homer’s epic and largely erased by history, she is nonetheless a pivotal figure in the Trojan War. In these pages she comes fully to life: wry, watchful, forging connections among her fellow female prisoners even as she is caught between Greece’s two most powerful warriors. Her story pulls back the veil on the thousands of women who lived behind the scenes of the Greek army camp—concubines, nurses, prostitutes, the women who lay out the dead—as gods and mortals spar, and as a legendary war hurtles toward its inevitable conclusion. Brilliantly written, filled with moments of terror and beauty, The Silence of the Girls gives voice to an extraordinary woman—and makes an ancient story new again. (Amazon.com)

6. Ariadne by Jennifer Saint

Ariadne, Princess of Crete, grows up greeting the dawn from her beautiful dancing floor and listening to her nursemaid’s stories of gods and heroes. But beneath her golden palace echo the ever-present hoofbeats of her brother, the Minotaur, a monster who demands blood sacrifice. When Theseus, Prince of Athens, arrives to vanquish the beast, Ariadne sees in his green eyes not a threat but an escape. Defying the gods, betraying her family and country, and risking everything for love, Ariadne helps Theseus kill the Minotaur. But will Ariadne’s decision ensure her happy ending? And what of Phaedra, the beloved younger sister she leaves behind? (Amazon.com) Hypnotic, propulsive, and utterly transporting, Jennifer Saint's Ariadne forges a new epic, one that puts the forgotten women of Greek mythology back at the heart of the story, as they strive for a better world. (Amazon.com)

7. A Thousand Ships: A Novel by Natalie Haynes

This was never the story of one woman, or two. It was the story of them all . . .

In the middle of the night, a woman wakes to find her beloved city engulfed in flames. Ten seemingly endless years of conflict between the Greeks and the Trojans are over. Troy has fallen.

From the Trojan women whose fates now lie in the hands of the Greeks, to the Amazon princess who fought Achilles on their behalf, to Penelope awaiting the return of Odysseus, to the three goddesses whose feud started it all, these are the stories of the women whose lives, loves, and rivalries were forever altered by this long and tragic war.

A woman’s epic, powerfully imbued with new life, A Thousand Ships puts the women, girls and goddesses at the center of the Western world’s great tale ever told. (Amazon.com)

8. Elektra by Jennifer Saint

Three women, tangled in an ancient curse.

When Clytemnestra marries Agamemnon, she ignores the insidious whispers about his family line, the House of Atreus. But when, on the eve of the Trojan War, Agamemnon betrays Clytemnestra in the most unimaginable way, she must confront the curse that has long ravaged their family.

In Troy, Princess Cassandra has the gift of prophecy, but carries a curse of her own: no one will ever believe what she sees. When she is shown what will happen to her beloved city when Agamemnon and his army arrives, she is powerless to stop the tragedy from unfolding.

Elektra, Clytemnestra and Agamemnon’s youngest daughter, wants only for her beloved father to return home from war. But can she escape her family’s bloody history, or is her destiny bound by violence, too? (Amazon.com)

9. Clytemnestra: A Novel by Costanza Casati

As for queens, they are either hated or forgotten. She already knows which option suits her best…

You were born to a king, but you marry a tyrant. You stand by helplessly as he sacrifices your child to placate the gods. You watch him wage war on a foreign shore, and you comfort yourself with violent thoughts of your own. Because this was not the first offence against you. This was not the life you ever deserved. And this will not be your undoing. Slowly, you plot.

But when your husband returns in triumph, you become a woman with a choice.

Acceptance or vengeance, infamy follows both. So, you bide your time and force the gods' hands in the game of retribution. For you understood something long ago that the others never did.

If power isn't given to you, you have to take it for yourself.

A blazing novel set in the world of Ancient Greece, this is a thrilling tale of power and prophecies, of hatred, love, and of an unforgettable Queen who fiercely dealt out death to those who wronged her. (Amazon.com)

10. The Island by Victoria Hislop

On the brink of a life-changing decision, Alexis Fielding plans a trip to her mother’s childhood home in Plaka, Greece hoping to unravel Sofia’s hidden past. Given a letter to take to Sofia’s old friend, Fotini, Alexis is promised that through Fotini, she will learn more.

Arriving in Plaka, Alexis is astonished to see that it lies a stone’s throw from the tiny, deserted island of Spinalonga—Greece’s former leper colony. Fotini at last reveals the story that Sofia has buried all her life: the tale of her great-grandmother Eleni and her daughters, and a family rent by tragedy, war, and passion. Alexis discovers how intimately her family is connected with the island, and how secrecy holds them all in its powerful grip.

Atmospheric and captivating, The Island transports readers and keeps them gripped to the very last word. (Amazon.com)

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mirahuyooo · 1 year

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Stranded [Why Dionysus?] | jhs

[masterlist] | check out [Elysian Tales] & [BTS as Greek Myth Icons]!

have you read [Stranded]?

A/N: As promised, here's the messy "rationale" and the melting pot of ideas i had for writing Stranded! Again, TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT bc i may be wrong with some of the mythology parts ✌😭✌

WHY DIONYSUS?

I get that Hoseok is mostly depicted as Apollo in these sorts of AUs, but Dionysus, man! DIONYSUS—Olympian god of wine, vegetation, pleasure, festivity, madness, and wild frenzy.

I know it’s usually Jimin for this type of thing too, but at the time (when I made this series lol) it just screamed JUNG HO SEOK to me somehow, you feel?

Albeit, we all know how drunk Hoseok gets now (at the time I didn't lmao), I feel like since he'd be a god in this AU, he's bound to have greater alcohol tolerance 😅👌 BESIDES, Hobi would be all up on that dance floor! I just really thought that having him as Dionysus would be a nice change and it was v v fun (ToT)/~~~💖

Also, the love story of Dionysus and Ariadne gave me quite the uwu, so I thought I could add a bit more to the story for some cute shit 🥰

When it came to the whole sacrifice to the Minotaur thing though, I made a lot of shit up because some say that Athens had to bring tributes every 9 years, but some said it was every year??? (I AM CONFUSION 😭😭😭)

Anyways, to fit my fictional narrative (a.k.a her seeing the start of the downfall of her family), I had to do the some maths and vague research AHAHAHHA i.e. searching how long it takes for a calf to turn into a bull (two years according to Google) bc Asterion started causing real trouble as he grew older lmao (he’s a beast raised to be a monster after all) + the fact that Theseus joined the third batch of the tributes to slay the Minotaur + Ariadne!Y/N being in her 20s???

I ended up settling for “every five years” (making Y/N 24-ish by the time she ran away, if Asterion the Minotaur was born when she was around 7 and he was locked up in the labyrinth when she was 9)

ThIS WAS A WHOLE LOT OF WORK 👁👄👁

P.S. I was planning to have (Y/N) die, since it’s part of some version of myths abt Dionysus and Ariadne, but it felt like it would be a repeat of Yoongi’s story so uh… i just left her at a near-death experience 🤪🤪🤪

WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MYTH?

Again, there are a lot of versions of this mythology.

With Ariadne’s upbringing, it was hard to get conclusive points??? All we know is that it’s in Crete, she’s a princess, her mom fucked a bull as a result of a divine curse, and her dad’s an all around j e r k LMAO I was also shocked to find out that the Minotaur had a name???? I kinda felt bad after ngl lmao

AnyWAYS, several sources called Ariadne “mistress of the labyrinthe” (and that she might actually be a goddess too??) and that either way when Theseus came she fell hard like a SIMP ✋😭 She and her sister, Phaedra, both did, but it was Ariadne who helped Theseus with a thread (a clew) to let him know his way out of the labyrinthe after slaying the Minotaur (some sources say she was clever enough to do it on her own, but some say she asked Daedalus for help)

Theseus, so glad that this chick is here to help him out, asks her to marry him once he returns successful, but some sources say that Ariadne asked him to. Another version also said that she asked him for marriage as protection since she's committing treason for helping him.

Either way, when the beast was slain, they obviously had to book it out of there before anyone could discover that they unalived the Minotaur.

In Hesiod (and most of the other versions), Theseus abandons Ariadne on the island of Naxos after she had helped him and had fled Crete with him. Other accounts claim that Theseus was told (by Athena or Dionysus) to leave her there for the wine god as a sacrifice, because the island was Dionysus' territory. It was said in the Odyssey that Theseus had “no joy for her”, and had no issues with leaving her to Dionysus. Although, there are still some accounts that do depict him being distraught about the abandonment. Either way, he still left her there.

So, with that, I had opted for the route of him being told to do it, but is still a jerk about it lol.

(This decision was fuelled by my utter anger for the myth where Theseus and his best bud, Pirithous, decided to kidnap daughters of Zeus to marry. Theseus chose to kidnap Helen of Troy, who was twelve at that time, and intended to keep her until she was old enough to marry—bLEGHH)

Theseus is a hero, yes, but he was still a bastard lmao (SO i went ham on making him the (sort of) villain in this story WHAHAH i am petty and biased, I'm so sorry)

Alas, his kidnapping of Helen of Troy seems to have happened long after his time with Ariadne, so as much as I wanted to trash on him, I couldn’t do so very much :DDDD

Phaedra (her sister), on the other hand, ended up being the queen of Athens because she was either abducted by Theseus or arranged for political marriage with him by their oldest brother King Deucalion (bc at this point, their dad, Minos, got murked in Sicily looking for Daedalus lol) She then proceeds to later get cursed to thirst after her stepson, Hippolytus :DDD

Anyways, at Naxos, Dionysus saw Ariadne and fell in love with her, deciding to put a ring on it. Ariadne had many children with Dionysus and she was said to be faithful to him, but according to some myths, she killed herself because of Theseus before they get to meet??? Other versions say that she was killed—either by Perseus (with medusa’s head) or Artemis (at Dionysus' request?? Bc she and Theseus banged at a sacred grotto or cave or something—ig this is probs in the version where he doesn't love her yikes).

Also, (in the myths where they are lovey dovey but Ariadne, for some reason, dies) Dionysus, after becoming a full-fledged god of Olympus, goes to the underworld to get his mother and wifey back (sacrificing either a grapevine of his first love (Ampelos) or his thyrsus—this one's a bit unclear so I decided to omit it from the storyline lol) and went to Mount Olympus to be with her forevs. He also made her into a deity along with his mother, and then put her wedding crown to the sky as the constellation Corona Borealis!

Dionysus is a bastard of Zeus (a lot are LMAo) through his priestess Semele, and was the first god to be born a deity even with a mortal parent. He’s unwelcomed in Olympus though (mostly bc Hera is v v salty) and so he lived his life on Earth, at some point getting dismembered by Titans and/or going insane from a curse by Hera, and getting reborn because of the shit he goes through. He becomes the last god to enter Olympus after his cult fully establishes itself in Greece, and this part (I read) happens AFTER he met Ariadne (that’s why the plot is the way it is lol). This is also why there are sources that say Ariadne accompanied Dionysus in his travels, helping him spread his cult and influence.

Also, also, the animals associated with him are panthers (leopard), tigers, bulls and serpents, and is often depicted as riding a leopard or a chariot drawn by leopards. (I made up the name Agrios though!)

This has been a rollercoaster and my head is pACKED Imma need to sit down whEW!!

Thanks for Reading!

#mira thoughts #spoilers for elysian tales lmao #extra stuff for mira's stories lol #so glad i managed to finish this BIG ass fic 💖

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ainews · 2 months

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Clutches, a type of hand accessory often associated with minotaurs, have long been a staple in the world of fantasy creatures. However, their purpose and symbolism may not be as obvious as one might think.

The origin of clutches dates back to the ancient Greek myth of the minotaur, a creature with the head of a bull and the body of a man. According to the myth, the minotaur was a fierce and savage beast that lived in a labyrinth, terrorizing the people of Crete. Its half-human, half-animal form represented the idea of a monstrous and uncontrollable nature, driven by instinct and animalistic desires.

In this context, the use of clutches takes on a more sinister meaning. The word "clutch" implies a tight grip or grasp, which accentuates the idea of the minotaur's violent and destructive tendencies. In many depictions of the minotaur, it is often shown clutching a weapon or a victim in its large, powerful hands, cementing its reputation as a fearsome and dangerous creature.

Clutches also serve as a reminder of the minotaur's imprisonment in the labyrinth. As a creature born from the unnatural union of a human and a beast, the minotaur was seen as a symbol of chaos and disorder. Its confinement in the labyrinth, with its twisting corridors and dead ends, represents the attempts of society to contain and control this primal and uncontrollable force.

In addition, the weight and bulkiness of the clutches can be seen as a hindrance to the minotaur, limiting its ability to fully utilize its strength and agility. This further reinforces the idea that the minotaur is a powerful being, but one that is constrained and controlled by outside forces.

Despite their symbolic meaning, clutches also serve a practical purpose for minotaurs. With their large and hooved hands, minotaurs would struggle to grasp small objects or wield weapons without a gripping aid. Clutches allow them to better interact with their environment and engage in battle.

In conclusion, the use of clutches in association with minotaurs adds a deeper layer of meaning to these fantasy creatures. Their use serves to emphasize the minotaur's wild and dangerous nature, as well as their confinement and struggle against societal norms. So the next time you come across a minotaur wielding clutches, remember the symbolism behind this seemingly simple accessory.

#ai generated #fake news

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tspoe-pods · 7 months

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I was in the mood for a sword and sandal “epic”.

This one mostly fit the bill. Cast of hundreds, sword fights, daring adventures, and beautiful women in really short togas. (Some men in equally short outfits as well.)

Only really disappointment was we spent an hour and half waiting to get to the Minotaur, and it looked like a Bumble that had been painted black! Mercifully, the poor thing was dispatched within seconds.

#movie review #b movie #sword and sandal #minotaur

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fitsofgloom · 4 years

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Minotaur, The Wild Beast of Crete

#minotaur #the wild beast of crete #peplum #greek myth #greek mythology

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throwbackmovie · 5 years

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Janine Hendy as Princess Fedra’s Handmaiden (uncredited) in THE MINOTAUR, THE WILD BEAST OF CRETE – 1960

Source: facebook.com/PeplumParadise/

#Janine Hendy #The Minotaur #The Wild Beast of Crete #Handmaiden #classic #PEPLUM #Minotaur

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fantrollnames · 3 years

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bovine themed names

Abigar (Abigar cattle)

Albion (Blue Albion, british breed of cattle)

Ankole (Ankole cattle)

anteng,javani,vanicu,tembad (Banteng/Bos javanicus/tembadau, cattle from southeast asia.)

antiqu (Bison antiquus, ancient bison from North America)

Asteri (crete name for minotaur)

athaba (American wood bison, Bison bison athabascae)

Auroch (Aurochs, a primitive cow)

Boskap, odbrok (Swedish Red Pied/Rödbrokig Svensk Boskap, a swedish cow)

Braunv, unvieh (Braunvieh, brown cattle from germany)

Bubalu (Bubalus arnee, wild water buffalo)

Buchis (Buchis/bakh/bakha ancient egypt sacred bull)

Bucran (bucranium, depiction of the skulls of ox in classical architecture)

Bugoni, bougon (bugonia/bougonia, ritual based on a cow carcass)

Camahu, mahuet (Camahueto, calf or bull with a small horn on its forehead from Chilote mythology)

Charol, rolais (Charolais cattle from france)

Damona (Damona, cow goddess worshipped in Gaul)

daquit, quitai (Blonde d'Aquitaine cattle from france)

eliobo (Cattle of Helios/ Ἠελίοιο βόες, Ēelíoio bóes, cattle on the island of Thrinacia)

Enkidu (wildman figure in Mesopotamian mythology)

gaurus (gaur/Bos gaurus, Indian bison)

Gertru (Santa Gertrudis cattle)

geushu (geush urva, "the spirit of the cow")

Girola, olando (Girolando cattle)

gudali (The Bison-beast, a hero slain in sumerian religion)

Haddad (Adad/Haddad/Hadad/iskur storm and rain god Mesopotamian religon with the symbolic animal of a bull)

Hadhay (Hadhayans, Zoroastrian mythological bovine)

Hamiti (Hamitic Longhorn, the origin species of highland cows)

hanaiz,zumien (Bison hanaizumiensis, japanese bison)

Hapian (Apis/hapis/Hapi-ankh, bull worshipped in ancient egypt)

Hathor (Hathor, egyptian cow goddess)

hazaha (golden calf/ēggel hazāhāv, idol made by the israelites)

heifer,adumma (Red heifer/para adumma, virgin cow made for sacrifice)

Herefo (Hereford cattle, british breed of beef cattle)

Hostei, Friesi (Holstein Friesian cattle)

ikaner (Afrikaner cattle)

Ilawar, awarra (Illawarra cattle from Australia)

Jaktor (the name of the forest the last auroch's died in)

Jallon, Malink, nadama (N'Dama, Boenca or Boyenca (Guinea-Bissau), Fouta Jallon, Djallonké or Djallonké cattle, Fouta Longhorn, Fouta Malinke, Futa, Malinke, Mandingo (Liberia), and N'Dama Petite)

Kamadh,Surabh (Kamadhenu/Surabhi bovine goddes in hinduism)

Kankre (Kankrej cattle)

laeosi,nensis (bison palaeosinensis, early bison)

Lamasu (lama/lamma/lamassu/shedu, Assyruian protective diety)

leborn, huidre (Lebor na hUidre [ˈl͈ʲevor nˠə huiðʲrʲə] or the Book of the Dun Cow)

lekijn (boelekijn/bullock, a young bull)

Limous, mousin (Limousin cattle from france)

Mehete (Mehet-Weret, "Celestial Cow" or "Cow Goddess" in ancient egypt)

Mnevis (ancient Egyptian bull god)

Moloch (Moloch/molech/molek, bull-headed idol appearing in the hebrew bible)

Nandiu (nandi, gate guardian diety in the hindu religion)

niutou (ox-head, one of two guardians of the underworld in Chinese mythology)

ociden (Bison occidentalis, extinct species of bison from North America)

oumbla (Auðumbla, primeval cow from norse mythology)

ovidae (Bovidae, the family of bovines)

pongif, cephal,halopa (Bovine spongiform encephalopathy, mad cow disease)

priscu (B.priscus, steppe bison)

rakens (Drakensberger cattle)

rangus (Brangus, cross between angus and brahman breeds)

rontal,mithun (gayal/Bos frontalis/mithun, indian domesticated bovine)

Sahiwa (Sahiwal cattle)

schoet,tensac (Pleistocene woodland bison, B. schoetensacki)

Senepo (Senepo cattle)

Taurin (Taurine cattle, domesticated species from europe)

Taurob (Taurobolium, practices involving the sacrifice of a bull)

tifron (Bison latifrons, giant/long horned bison)

Trigar,garanu (Tarvos Trigaranus, divine fingure in a roman monument)

uzerat, Guzera (Guzerá cattle)

Vechur (Vechur Cow)

wisent (European wood bison)

zerwon (Polish Red, Polska czerwona)

zubron (a hybrid of domestic cattle and bison)

#fantrolls #homestuck #names #suggestions #trolls #hiveswap #oc #ocs #friendsim #extended zodiac

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 4 years

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Geralt and the Minotaur

Y’all can thank @bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher for encouraging me to do this, I defs would have just thought about it for a couple months then forgot 😂

Pairing: None for this part

Warning: talk of violence and murder, retelling of Theseus and The Minotaur myth, talk of human sacrifice, if theres more plz let me know!

Summary/Notes: Myth background in case you didn’t go past the PJO books with your mythology obsession like I did. In ancient Greek mythology they believed in ‘joint fatherhood’ so basically the kid would have attributes from both fathers (bc philosophy was the tits back then not necessarily biology) King Aegeus (Vessimir) couldn’t produce an heir with his wife so he went to the Oracle of Delphi and she told him to ‘open his wine sack’ (helpful right?) long story short he bangs a princess and then Athena (patron goddess of Athens) tells the princess to go down to the sea with an offering where she bangs Posiden (co-patron god of Athens) hence Theseus (Geralt) is not only a demigod but a bastard prince. I think this is all the background yall are gonna need if you don’t already know the myth

__________

Geralt knew the story well. For as long as he could remember, his mother would comb his stark white hair before bed and he would ask, “Tell me about my fathers?” She would smile fondly and begin to braid his hair in a pattern much like her own.

“My little hero, your fathers are powerful, fair, righteous men. You have not only the blessing and favor of Poseidon, but the right to the throne of Athens.”

When he was younger he would squirm and protest, “I know mumma, but who were they?”

Vissena would sigh and change the subject until he was older, at which point she began letting the crumbs fall from her words. Crumbs Geralt followed to the truth of his heritage, piecing together stories his grandfather had told him about a sword and sandals pinned beneath a stone.

When he was twelve, his mother told him the truth.

“You are destined to free the city of Athens from a terrible fate. When you can lift the stone and retrieve your father’s sword you may travel to his palace and claim your place as prince…” Her voice came to a strangled end before she coughed and continued “But you mustn't think about that now. You’ve rope to braid and cattle to feed.”

When he finally told her he was ready to try, her eyes welled with tears. She merely nodded, continuing to run the comb through her baby’s hair like she always had. He understood as he grew older why she was so reluctant to let him go. What mother can willingly send her child away in only destiny’s hands, regardless of his exceptional strength?

At 16, he succeeded in his first task, retrieving his father’s things, and set off to Athens. He went by land, wanting to rely on himself, not his grandfather’s wealth and power. He fought Perophes, disarming the practiced warrior with surprising little effort, to complete his second task. Fighting Coercion sent chills down his spine, with the man’s reputation for killing every opponent he faced he was certainly formidable, but he bested him nonetheless. His third task was complete. However, his name only became synonymous with ‘hero’ after slaying the wild boar.

His first kill was at 17, still on the road to Athens. He could have let Procrustes live, could have delivered him to the nearest king for imprisonment, but his gut had twisted at the thought of the consequences of his failure. He tied Procrustes to the same small table he tied all his victims before slicing clean through the giant man’s limbs that hung off the edge. Leaving him to bleed out like he’d done to the skeletons littering the floor. It only seemed fitting, though the memory still made him queasy on nights when he couldn't sleep.

Even upon arrival at his father’s home, there was danger staring back at him in those beautiful amethyst eyes. The prophetess Yennefer would stop at nothing to keep the life of luxury and power she’d gained. She whispered false prophecies in King Vessimir’s ear, convincing him this boy who claimed to be his son was nothing but an imposter. Geralt should have expected such a welcome.

As he lifted a cup of poisoned wine to his lips, Vessimir glimpsed the sword at his side, recognizing it in time to knock the ceramic out of his hand.

The vessel had yet to shatter on the floor before Vessimir had rounded on the violet eyed woman with fury in his eyes like none Geralt had ever seen.

The whole of the dining hall was holding their breath, waiting for the explosion to come.

King Vessimir whispered but one word, “Disappear.”

The woman glared daggers at Geralt as she waved her hand, stepping through a portal into nothing. He stared after her for a long time, having never witnessed manipulated magic up close and if he were honest with himself, he was a bit dazed.

As his father explained and apologized Geralt simply tilted his head in confusion, slowly putting the pieces together in his shock.

“Your sword, it was mine. You must forgive me, I believed a lie. I beg you.”

Geralt nodded, “You have a state to protect.”

Vessimir grasped him by his shoulders, “No, I have to protect you.”

Geralt smiled, endeared by the old king’s sudden saccharine sentiments, “I’m no boy anymore, you shouldn’t worry.”

As the rest of the guests at the banquet began to resume conversation Vessimir guided Geralt to a window overlooking the beautiful city that he would now be calling home, “So I’ve heard. I would have thought your mother would raise you to be more merciful.”

Geralt eyed the ground, “Mercy for one who has killed so many and would kill again isn’t really mercy.” His voice was smaller than he would like, but after all these years of imagining his father, well he hadn’t expected a criticism of his ethics.

“Good.” Vessimir nodded, leaning against the edge of the window, “We can work on your tone, but that’s a good start.”

A tentative smile took over Geralt’s face, “Work on my tone?”

“If you’re going to rule Athens and defeat Crete, you’ll need to be more assertive. But none of that now,” Vessimir waved a hand and a servant brought two more goblets of wine, “Now, I want to get to know my son.”

The following months were filled with lessons, from Vessimir’s top generals in battle strategy and formal combat, from a matronly maid in etiquette and the cultural customs of the port city, and from Vessimir himself in diplomacy. Geralt was thrilled at first, ready to prove himself worthy, but the routine slowly lost its shine. Eskel and Lambert were no doubt excellent fighters and leaders, but there were only so many ways to disarm someone with every weapon in the royal arsenal, and they were running out of challenges for the boy. If that’s what you could call him anymore. With regular meals, unlike during his travels, and the way his trainers pushed him he was starting to look more worthy of his Olympian heritage and place at the throne.

He stood by his father’s side and paid careful attention to all of his meetings, every last one. Even the ones at dawn after a night of drinking with Eskel and Lambert.

He sat on a stool, a step down from the platform where his father’s throne was carved out of stone as he observed the nobles bringing their worries, reports, and complaints to the king from the outskirts of the territory. The large amphitheater was teeming with men ready to share their opinion. Geralt found that rarely did anyone bring something that really needed fixing, just listening was usually enough to soothe their egos. It was all rather mundane now, Geralt could mouth the words his father would say before they filled the air, until the last representative.

"My king, the spring is approaching, will we allow Crete to take our children yet again?”

Geralt’s brows knit together, eyes darting between the man and his father as they spoke.

Vessimir wiped a hand over his face, looking ten years older in an instant, “We don't have a navy that could even begin to challenge Crete’s. We have no choice.”

The gathered crowd erupted in shouts of outrage, only silenced when Vessimir stood, “It is the life of fourteen, or the life of the nation. Which will you surrender?”

There was more yelling, this time between a select few delegates, but Geralt ignored it and leaned to his right, lowering his voice so only Eskel could hear him.

“What does he mean ‘the life of fourteen’?”

Eskel frowned, “He hasn’t told you?”

Geralt glared at him, waiting for an explanation.

“King Minos’ son was killed at the games a good twenty or so years back, so as penance he takes fourteen virgins from us every nine years. Seven men, seven women, and feeds them to his bastard Minotaur.” Eskel glanced over Geralt’s shoulder at the king, a look of worry clear on his face.

“I thought the Minotaur was just a story, a parable of Crete’s barbaric nature.”

Eskel raised an eyebrow, not impressed by Geralt's literary analysis, “It’s no tale. It's as real as the ground under your feet, and it plays with its food.”

Geralt whipped his head back around to his father in time to catch his words, “There is no voting on war because of the brashness of your grandfather Letus, tread lightly. Until we have a reasonable plan of action all we can do is submit!"

Before he knew what his legs were doing Geralt was standing and shouting, "I'll go! Send me father! I'll kill the beast and return!"

Cheers erupted from the crowd but Geralt only cared about his father's reaction and Vessimir was still as stone. For a moment Geralt worried for his heart, then Vessimir gripped his arm and leaned in with a panicked look on his face, "You are my only son, I will not send you to your death." He growled.

Geralt felt a fire rising in his chest, "Your people are forced to send their children unwillingly yet when yours volunteers you're exempt? Does that seem fair to you?"

Vessimir’s grip tightened, nails digging into Geralt's arm, "Doesn't matter. You are the only heir. I can't risk the stability of the government."

Geralt stepped closer, making sure to stand at his full height, "Then you do not believe in me? In the power and blessings of Posiden that courses through me?"

Vessimir snarled but said nothing. Surely not used to being challenged, especially not so publicly, about his devotion to the gods.

Geralt lowered his voice, "I will go. I will free Athens as is my destiny, and I will come back to you unharmed." Geralt gripped his father's arm, and nearly pleaded, "I cannot sit idly by, you know I can't."

Vessimir's eyes softened ever so slightly as he released his grip, "I should have known your mother would raise a stubborn man."

Geralt grinned, "She said I got that from you."

The amphitheater had gone quiet, all eyes on the king and this strange new prince.

"Geralt will go." Vessimir sighed, clapping a hand on his son's shoulder. The crowd cheered in earnest this time and Geralt soaked it all in, their hope and elation. Vessimir raised a hand for silence and continued, "Now tell me, scholars and strategists, how will we bring him back alive?"

__________

part 2 here!

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #the witcher greek mythology AU #i deadass forgot about Henners doing Imortals until i was like halfway thru and already attached to this story so oh well #greek mythology AU #geralt as theseus #geralt of rivia fanfic #geralt of rivia fic #the witcher fanfic #the witcher fic #geralt of rivia greeky mythology AU #vessimir #vissena

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atomic-chronoscaph · 7 years

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Minotaur, the Wild Beast of Crete (1960)

#minotaur the wild beast of crete #the minotaur #teseo contro il minotauro #sword and sandal #peplum #60s movies #fantasy movies #italian movies #60s peplum #rosanna schiaffino #bob mathias #silvio amadio #minotaur #movie posters #60s movie posters #sixties #1960

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jwilsonmajorone2020 · 3 years

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Catullus Poem 64

Pines once sprung from Pelion's peak floated, it is said, through liquid billows of Neptune to the flowing Phasis and the Aeetaean territory, when the picked youth, the vigour of Argive manhood seeking to carry away the Golden Fleece from Colchis, dared to skim over salt seas in a swift-sailing ship, sweeping the blue-green ocean with paddles shaped from fir-wood. That goddess who guards the castles in topmost parts of the towns herself fashioned the car, scudding with lightest of winds, uniting the interweaved pines unto the curving keel. That goddess first instructed untaught Amphitrite with sailing. Scarce had it split with its stem the windy waves, and the billow vexed with oars had whitened into foam, when arose from the swirl of the hoary eddies the faces of sea-dwelling Nereids wondering at the marvel. And then on that propitious day mortal eyes gazed on sea-nymphs with naked bodies bare to the breasts outstanding from the foamy swirl. Then it is said Peleus burned with desire for Thetis, then Thetis despised not mortal marriage, then Thetis' sire himself sanctioned her joining to Peleus. O heroes, born in the time of joyfuller ages, hail! sprung from the gods, good progeny of mothers, hail! and may you be favourably inclined. I'll address you often in my song, you too I'll approach, Peleus, pillar of Thessaly, so increased in importance by your fortunate wedding-torches, to whom Jupiter himself, the sire of the gods himself, yielded up his beloved. Did not Thetis embrace you, she most winsome of Nereids born? Did not Tethys consent that you should lead home her grandchild, and Oceanus too, whose waters enfold the total globe? When in full course of time the longed-for day had dawned, all Thessaly assembled and thronged his home, a gladsome company overspreading the halls: they bear gifts to the fore, and their joy in their faces they show. Scyros remains a desert, they leave Phthiotic Tempe, Crannon's homes, and the fortressed walls of Larissa; at Pharsalia they gather, beneath Pharsalian roofs they throng. None tills the soil, the heifers' necks grow softened, the trailing vine is not cleansed by the curved rake-prongs, nor does the bull tear up the clods with the prone-bending plowblade, nor does the sickle prune the shade of the spreading tree-branches, squalid rust steals over the neglected plows.

But this mansion, throughout its innermost recesses of opulent royalty, glitters with gleaming gold and with silver. Ivory makes white the seats; goblets glint on the boards; the whole house delights in the splendour of royal treasure. Placed in the midst of the mansion is the bridal bed of the goddess, made glossy with Indian tusks and covered with purple, tinted with the shell-fish's rosy dye. This tapestry embroidered with figures of men of ancient time portrays with admirable art the heroes' valour. For looking forth from Dia's beach, resounding with crashing of breakers, Ariadne watches Theseus moving from sight with his swift fleet, her heart swelling with raging passion, and she does not yet believe she sees what she sees, as, newly-awakened from her deceptive sleep, she perceives herself, deserted and woeful, on the lonely shore. But the heedless youth, flying away, beats the waves with his oars, leaving his perjured vows to the gusty gales. In the dim distance from amidst the sea-weed, the daughter of Minos with sorrowful eyes, like a stone-carved Bacchante, gazes afar, alas! gazes after him, heaving with great waves of grief. No longer does the fragile fillet bind her yellow locks, no more with light veil is her hidden bosom covered, no more with rounded zone the milky breasts are clasped; fallen down from her body everything is scattered here and there, and the salt waves toy with them in front of her very feet. But neither on fillet nor floating veil, but on you, Theseus, in their stead, was she musing: on you she bent her heart, her thoughts, her love-lorn mind. Ah, woeful one, with sorrows unending distraught, Erycina sows thorny cares deep in your bosom, since that time when Theseus fierce in his vigor set out from the curved bay of Piraeus, and gained the Gortynian roofs of the iniquitous ruler.

For it is said that once, constrained by the cruelest plague to expiate the slaughter of Androgeos, Cecropia used to give both chosen youths and the pick of the unmarried maidens as a feast to the Minotaur. When thus his strait walls with ills were vexed, Theseus with free will preferred to yield up his body for adored Athens rather than such Cecropian corpses be carried to Crete unobsequied. And therefore borne in a speedy craft by favouring breezes, he came to the imperious Minos and his superb seat. Instantly with longing glance the royal virgin saw him, she whom the chaste couch breathing out sweetest of scents cradled in her mother's tender enfoldings, like the myrtle which the rivers of Eurotas produce, or the many-tinted blooms opening with the springtide's breezes, she bent not her flashing eyes away from him, until the flame spread through her whole body, and burned into her innermost marrow. Ah, hard of heart, urging with misery to madness, O holy boy, who mingles men's cares and their joys, and you queen of Golgos and of foliaged Idalium, on what waves did you heave the mind-kindled maid, sighing often for the golden-haired guest! What dreads she bore in her swooning soul! How often did she grow sallower in sheen than gold! When craving to contend against the savage monster, Theseus faced death or the palm of praise.

Then gifts to the gods not unpleasing, not idly given, with promise from tight-closed lips did she address her vows. For as an oak waving its boughs on Taurus' top, or a coniferous pine with sweating stem, is uprooted by savage storm, twisting its trunk with its blast (dragged from its roots prone it falls afar, breaking all in the line of its fall) so did Theseus fling down the conquered body of the brute, tossing its horns in vain towards the skies. Thence backwards he retraced his steps amidst great laud, guiding his errant footsteps by means of a tenuous thread, lest when coming out from tortuous labyrinthines his efforts be frustrated by unobservant wandering. But why, turned aside from my first story, should I recount more, how the daughter fleeing her father's face, her sister's embrace, and even her mother's, who despairingly bemoaned her lost daughter, preferred to all these the sweet love of Theseus; or how borne by their boat to the spumy shores of Dia she came; or how her husband with unmemoried breast forsaking her, left her bound in the shadows of sleep? And oft, so it is said, with her heart burning with fury she poured out clarion cries from depths of her bosom, then sadly scaled the rugged mounts, whence she could cast her glance over the vast seething ocean, then ran into the opposing billows of the heaving sea, raising from her bared legs her clinging raiment, and in uttermost plight of woe with tear-stained face and chilly sobs she spoke thus:—

“Is it thus, O perfidious, when dragged from my motherland's shores, is it thus, O false Theseus, that you leave me on this desolate strand? thus do you depart unmindful of slighted godheads, bearing home your perjured vows? Was no thought able to bend the intent of your ruthless mind? had you no clemency there, that your pitiless bowels might show me compassion? But these were not the promises you gave me idly of old, this was not what you bade me hope for, but the blithe bride-bed, hymenaeal happiness: all empty air, blown away by the breezes. Now, now, let no woman give credence to man's oath, let none hope for faithful vows from mankind; for while their eager desire strives for its end, nothing fear they to swear, nothing of promises forbear they: but instantly their lusting thoughts are satiate with lewdness, nothing of speech they remember, nothing of perjuries care. In truth I snatched you from the midst of the whirlpool of death, preferring to suffer the loss of a brother rather than fail your need in the supreme hour, O ingrate. For which I shall be a gift as prey to be rent by wild beasts and the carrion-fowl, nor dead shall I be placed in the earth, covered with funeral mound. What lioness bore you beneath lonely crag? What sea conceived and spued you from its foamy crest? What Syrtis, what grasping Scylla, what vast Charybdis? O you repayer with such rewards for your sweet life! If it was not your heart's wish to yoke with me, through holding in horror the dread decrees of my stern sire, yet you could have led me to your home, where as your handmaid I might have served you with cheerful service, laving your snowy feet with clear water, or spreading the purple coverlet over your couch. Yet why, distraught with woe, do I vainly lament to the unknowing winds, which unfurnished with sense, can neither hear uttered complaints nor can return them? For now he has sped away into the midst of the seas, nor does any mortal appear along this desolate seaboard. Thus with overweening scorn bitter Fate in my extreme hour even grudges ears to my complaints. All-powerful Jupiter! would that in old time the Cecropian ships had not touched at the Gnossan shores, nor that the false mariner, bearing the direful ransom to the unquelled bull, had bound his ropes to Crete, nor that yonder wretch hiding ruthless designs beneath sweet seemings had reposed as a guest in our halls! For whither may I flee? in what hope, O lost one, take refuge? Shall I climb the Idomenean crags? but the truculent sea stretching far off with its whirlings of waters separates us. Dare I hope for help from my father, whom I deserted to follow a youth besprinkled with my brother's blood? Can I crave comfort from the care of a faithful husband, who is fleeing with yielding oars, encurving amidst whirling waters? If I turn from the beach there is no roof in this tenantless island, no way shows a passage, circled by waves of the sea; no way of flight, no hope; all denotes dumbness, desolation, and death. Nevertheless my eyes shall not be dimmed in death, nor my senses secede from my spent frame, until I have besought from the gods a just penalty for my betrayal, and implored the faith of the celestials with my last breath. Wherefore you requiters of men's deeds with avenging pains, O Eumenides, whose front enwreathed with serpent-locks blazons the wrath exhaled from your bosom, come here, here, listen to my complaint, which I, sad wretch, am urged to outpour from my innermost marrow, helpless, burning, and blind with frenzied fury. And since in truth they spring from the very depths of my heart, be unwilling to allow my agony to pass unheeded, but with such mind as Theseus forsook me, with like mind, O goddesses, may he bring evil on himself and on his kin.”

After she had poured forth these words from her grief-laden bosom, distractedly clamouring for requital against his heartless deeds, the celestial ruler assented with almighty nod, at whose motion the earth and the shuddering waters quaked, and the world of glittering stars quivered. But Theseus, self-blinded with mental mist, let slip from forgetful breast all those injunctions which until then he had held firmly in mind, nor bore aloft sweet signals to his sad sire, showing himself safe when in sight of Erectheus' haven. For it is said that before, when Aegeus entrusted his son to the winds, on leaving the walls of the chaste goddess's city, he gave these commands to the youth with his parting embrace:

“O my only son, far dearer to me than long life, lately restored to me at extreme end of my years, O son whom I am forced to send off to a doubtful hazard, since my ill fate and your ardent valour snatch you from me unwilling, whose dim eyes are not yet sated with my son's dear form: nor gladly and with joyous breast do I send you, nor will I suffer you to bear signs of helpful fortune, but first from my breast many a complaint will I express, sullying my grey hairs with dust and ashes, and then will I hang dusky sails to the swaying mast, so that our sorrow and burning of mind are shown by rusty-dark Iberian canvas. Yet if the dweller on holy Itone, who deigns to defend our race and Erectheus' dwellings, grant you to besprinkle your right hand in the bull's blood, then see that in very truth these commandments deep-stored in your heart's memory do flourish, nor any time deface them. As soon as your eyes shall see our cliffs, lower their gloomy clothing from every yard, and let the twisted cordage bear aloft snowy sails, where resplendent shall shine bright topmast spars, so that, immediately discerning, I may know with gladness and lightness of heart that in prosperous hour you are returned to my face.”

These charges, at first held in constant mind, from Theseus slipped away as clouds are impelled by the breath of the winds from the ethereal peak of a snow-clad mount. But as his father sought the castle's turrets as watchplace, dimming his anxious eyes with continual weeping, when first he spied the discoloured canvas, flung himself headlong from the top of the crags, believing Theseus lost by harsh fate. Thus as he entered the grief-stricken house, his paternal roof, Theseus savage with slaughter met with like grief as that which with unmemoried mind he had dealt to Minos' daughter: while she gazed with grieving at his disappearing keel, turned over a tumult of cares in her wounded spirit.

But on another part [of the tapestry] swift hastened the flushed Iacchus with his train of Satyrs and Nisa-begot Sileni, seeking you, Ariadne, and aflame with love for you. ... These scattered all around, an inspired band, rushed madly with mind all distraught, ranting “Euhoe,” with tossing of heads “Euhoe.” Some with womanish hands shook thyrsi with wreath-covered points; some tossed limbs of a rended steer; some girded themselves with writhed snakes; some enacted obscure orgies with deep chests, orgies of which the profane vainly crave a hearing; others beat the tambours with outstretched palms, or from the burnished brass provoked shrill tinklings, blew raucous-sounding blasts from many horns, and the barbarous pipe droned forth horrible song. With luxury of such figures was the coverlet adorned, enwrapping the bed with its mantling embrace.

After the Thessalian youth were sated with the desire of gazing, they began to give way to the sacred gods. Hence, as with his morning's breath brushing the still sea Zephyrus makes the sloping billows uprise, when Aurora mounts beneath the threshold of the wandering sun, and the waves move forth slowly at first with the breeze's gentle motion (plashing with the sound as of low laughter), but after, as the wind swells, more and more frequent they crowd and gleam in the purple light as they float away,—so quitting the royal vestibule the folk left, each to his home with steps wandering hither and thither.

After their departure, Chiron came, chief from the summit of Pelion, the bearer of sylvan spoil: for whatever the fields bear, what the Thessalian land on its high hills breeds, and what flowers the fecund air of warm Favonius begets near the running streams, these did he bear enwreathed into blended garlands wherewith the house rippled with laughter, caressed by the grateful odor.

Speedily Penios stands present, for a time leaving his verdant Tempe, Tempe whose overhanging trees encircle, to the Dorian choirs, damsels Magnesian, to frequent; nor empty-handed,—for he has borne here lofty beeches uprooted and the tall laurel with straight stem, nor lacks he the nodding plane and the lithe sister of flame-wrapt Phaethon and the aerial cypress. These wreathed in line did he place around the palace so that the vestibule might grow green sheltered with soft fronds.

After him follows Prometheus of inventive mind, bearing diminishing traces of his ancient punishment, which once he had suffered, with his limbs confined by chains hanging from the rugged Scythian crags. Then came the sire of gods from heaven with his holy consort and offspring, leaving you alone, Phoebus, with your twin-sister the fosterer of the mountains of Idrus: for equally with yourself did your sister disdain Peleus nor was she willing to honour the wedding torches of Thetis. After they had reclined their snow-white forms along the seats, tables were loaded on high with food of various kinds.

In the meantime with shaking bodies and infirm gesture the Parcae began to intone their truth-naming chant. Their trembling frames were enwrapped around with white garments, encircled with a purple border at their heels, snowy fillets bound each aged brow, and their hands pursued their never-ending toil, as of custom. The left hand bore the distaff enwrapped in soft wool, the right hand lightly withdrawing the threads with upturned fingers shaped them, then twisting them with the prone thumb it turned the balanced spindle with well-polished whirl. And then with a pluck of their tooth the work was always made even, and the bitten wool-shreds adhered to their dried lips, which shreds at first had stood out from the fine thread. And in front of their feet wicker baskets of osier twigs took charge of the soft white woolly fleece. These, with clear-sounding voice, as they combed out the wool, out-poured fates of such kind in sacred song, in song which no age yet to come could tax with untruth.

“O with great virtues augmenting your exceeding honour, mainstay of Emathia, most famous in your issue, receive what the sisters make known to you on this happy day, a truth-naming oracle! But run, you spindles, drawing the thread which the fates follow, run, spindles! “Now Hesperus will come to you bearing what is longed for by bridegrooms, with that fortunate star will your bride come, who steeps your soul with the sway of softening love, and prepares with you to conjoin in languorous slumber, spreading her smooth arms beneath your sinewy neck. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “No house ever yet enclosed such loves, no love bound lovers with such pact, as abides with Thetis, as is the concord of Peleus. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “To you will Achilles be born, a stranger to fear, to his foes known not by his back, but by his strong breast, who, often the victor in the uncertain struggle of the foot-race, will outrun the fire-fleet footsteps of the speedy doe. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “None in war with him may compare as a hero, when the Phrygian streams trickle with Trojan blood, and when besieging the walls of Troy with a long, drawn-out warfare perjured Pelops' third heir lays that city waste. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “Often will mothers attest over funeral-rites of their sons his glorious acts and illustrious deeds, when the white locks from their heads are unloosed amid ashes, and they bruise their discoloured breasts with feeble fists. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “For as the reaper, plucking off the dense wheat-ears before their time, mows the harvest yellowed beneath ardent sun, so will he cast prostrate the corpses of Troy's sons with grim swords. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “His great valour will be attested by Scamander's wave, which ever pours itself into the swift Hellespont, narrowing its course with slaughtered heaps of corpses he shall make tepid its deep stream by mingling warm blood with the water. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “And finally she will be a witness: the captive-maid handed to death, when the heaped-up tomb of earth built in lofty mound receives the snowy limbs of the stricken virgin. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “For instantly fortune will give the means to the war-worn Greeks to break Neptune's stone bonds of the Dardanian city, the tall tomb shall be made dank with Polyxena's blood, who as the victim succumbing beneath two-edged sword, with yielding knees shall fall forward a headless corpse. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “Come then! Conjoin in the longed-for delights of your love. Let the bridegroom receive his goddess in felicitous compact; let the bride be given to her eager husband. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles! “Neither will the nurse returning with morning light succeed in circling her neck with last night's thread. [Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles!], nor need her solicitous mother fear that sad discord will cause a parted bed for her daughter, nor need she cease to hope for dear grandchildren. Run, drawing the thread, run, spindles!”

With such soothsaying songs of yore did the Parcae chant from divine breast the felicitous fate of Peleus. For previously the heaven-dwellers used to visit the chaste homes of heroes and to show themselves in mortal assembly when their worship had not yet been scorned. Often the father of the gods, resting in his glorious temple, when on the festal days his annual rites appeared, gazed on a hundred bulls strewn prone on the earth. Often wandering Liber on topmost summit of Parnassus led his howling Thyiads with loosely tossed locks, when the Delphians tumultuously trooping from the whole of their city joyously acclaimed the god with smoking altars. Often in lethal strife of war, Mavors, or swift Triton's queen, or the Rhamnusian virgin, in person did exhort armed bodies of men. But after the earth was infected with heinous crime, and each one banished justice from their grasping mind, and brothers steeped their hands in fraternal blood, the son ceased grieving over departed parents, the sire craved for the funeral rites of his first-born that freely he might take of the flower of unwedded step-mother, the unholy mother, lying under her unknowing son, did not fear to sully her household gods with dishonor: everything licit and lawless commingled with mad infamy turned away from us the just-seeing mind of the gods. Wherefore neither do they deign to appear at such assemblies, nor will they permit themselves to be met in the daylight.

Catullus. The Carmina of Gaius Valerius Catullus. Leonard C. Smithers. London. Smithers. 1894.

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spjcomicart · 7 years

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How did the women of Ancient Greece benefit from participating in the Cult of Dionysus

Stefano Junior November 2017 How did the women of Ancient Greece benefit from participating in the Cult of Dionysus If sculptor Polikleitos’s "Spear Bearer"or the "Doryphoros", the 6’11” originally bronze sculpture was the canon by which ancient Greeks at the height of Classical antiquity measured harmony and beauty, which in turn represented not only their reverence for Male athletics and form, but also as a measurement of what was morally good (derivative of the Greeks pride in their exertion of will over Nature and thus balance and order over chaos, than most certainly Women represented the opposite. “The blood that issues with the newborn, the mother was considered ritually impure, both “polluted” and “polluting”…as we learn from a sacred law from the Greek colony of Cyrene…The woman who has just given birth pollutes the house; she pollutes anyone inside the house….the person who is inside the house shall be polluted for three days. “ (1) Certainly if menstruation was regarded as essentially a spell of pollution for the both the woman and those within her vicinity, than it is little surprise that authorities of these collective city-states had initiated common practices that ensured women were left to tend to hearth and home and forbidden to partake in affairs of state and government. Certainly if their natural physiognomy was one of chaotic expulsion and pollution than the notion of women participating in athleticism and games would only be set aside for their “superior” Male counterparts, save for the Amazons of legend (a fearsome matriarchal race of breast carving archers and weapon wielders who bred only female babes and sacrificed their male offspring for whom their Queen’s girdle was allegedly stolen by Heracles’ conquest of them—Heracles himself reflecting the notions of maximum masculine superiority by means of partial Divinity, the son of the Father of the Olympian gods himself, Zeus) and perhaps Artemis, goddess of the Hunt, conveniently a Virgin and perpetually incapable of “Pollution”. Yet ever so, Artemis, as reflective of the notion of the Anima in Greece, is tied to the wild—surveyor and champion of all animal life; a woman, no doubt, unchecked is unbridled and base-without logic or reason. Thus, unreliable, untrustworthy, and unpredictable as The beast, for whom the Greeks sought to overcome within themselves. Logic and reason-the qualities reserved and revered by a modern classical Greek citizen for whose very Athenian surrounding was the bedrock for modern philosophy. Or perhaps Athena herself, sprung from the head of Zeus himself, the namesake of Athens herself and the guardian of warfare and creative arts and craftsmanship and WISDOM; perhaps an collectively unconscious contradiction on the capacity of the female, or a carryover evolution of goddess worship from the Cycladian and Minoan peoples that remained, however transformed, as an element of gender balance within a Pantheon of Gods. Not only would the measure of a woman’s nature be in comparison to the gods, but her Very origins, according to Greek religion. Woman’s untrustworthiness and unpredictability, after all Pandora, Eve of Christianity’s grandmother, was the “original” woman and set the standard of behavior Forever associated with the ancient woman. “and he (Zeus) ordered golden Aphrodite to shed grace on her head and cruel passion and worries that knaw at the limbs. And he commanded Hermes…to put in her a bitch’s mind and a thieving heart…..in her breast…put lies, tricky speeches, and a thieving heart.” (2) And regarding that famous box or cairn of hers “But the woman lifted in her hands the great lid from The jar and scattered these evils about-she devised miserable sorrows for men” So not only was this First woman and wife rife with poor character and qualities, but she, through her insatiable curiosity, Chaotic unpredictability, and untrustworthiness, unleashed ALL ills and unpleasantries that vex Mankind. Not only does this fortify the belief of woman as a literal vessel, either as for sexual or procreative purposes-or as the vessel of chaos and pollution. Is it any wonder then, that the ancient Greeks would have cause to resent and thus control and inhibit the life of an average woman or girl? “From birth to death a freeborn female in Athens was under the supervision of a kyrios, the Man who was responsible for her maintenance and upbringing as a child, and for all situations in which she would interact with the public, such as marriage or legal transactions.” (1) Her father, essentially, would be her first Kyrios, transferring ownership of her to a spouse or whatever living Male relative claim her. Woman as property, woman as cattle, woman as rearers, woman as spinners, woman as weavers, woman as potters, woman as waxmakers, woman as culinarians,….Woman with no power of her own. There were nurturer roles that women could aspire to, however, as evidenced by Phanostrate, The Athenian mid-wife and physician. A role assigned either an aged female, or one by circumstance Whom, not barren, was unable to birth children of her own. In this regard, both in the administration of Ritualistic elixirs and medicine, woman could earn money and the admiration and respect of fellow Greek citizens as child rearers and caretakers. Becoming a nurse, or moreover a wet nurse, may have Been boon to the Greek woman whom was able to lift herself from the mires and drudgery of the toils Of regularly sequestered female wife life and to the woman of high status for whom she was employed. According to Women of Ancient Greece by Bonnie Maclachlan, some may have indeed have been slaves or “Malicha”, plucked from the Peloponnese. Apparently, evenslavery on the socio economic stratum, as a nurse was still regarded with respect. So the ancient woman, by limited means, and one might imagine by limited numbers, circumstances, luck, and paternity, may (albeit in the capacity of a nurturer) aspire to something greater than property. So what about DIONYSOS? Who were these Maenads, or raving ones, that carried Out ritualistic libation ceremonies to honor a god whose very origins predated the Athenian sky gods And whose very essence and tenets were at odds with a culture so refined and elevated beyond the Natural earthy realms for haughty orchestrations of reason, intellect, and philosophizing? How and why Should this ancient deity and subsequent cult attract women ofHomeric times? And how might they Have benefitted from the rituals and practices therein in great opposition to their general existence and Expectations in classical Greece? “Procreation takes place in moisture” (3) Walter Otto writes in Dionysos: Myth and Cult And continues to elucidate the symbolic relationship between women, water, and its chaotic (antithesis Of reason and order) in the ancient religious symbolism. The watery nymphs, or maidens of the water, Themselves “nurture and rear the child Dionysus”. That very origin itself may have emerged from the Depths, if you will, from the waters that surrounded Crete during the height of the Minoan culture, Named for a king (Minos) who allegedly reigned there. But it isn’t a reigning patriarchy that is of Interest there; it is the art, and pottery, and history that remain that illustrate a highly matriarchal Society, where the station of a woman was elevated to that of priestess or regent or perhaps even a A governing one. A rich culture that succeeded at architecting complex communal “Palace” structures And the earliest potter’s wheel, which in turn led them to become a profitable and formidable trader of Goods throughout the Aegean as far as Egypt and Asia Minor and even mainland Greece for whom, their Militaristic Mycenaen culture greatly imitated and incorporated Minoan art and ceramics. But of most Interest here, was the Bull god for whom, according to (4) Arthur Evans “The God of Ecstacy” was Arguably the basis for Dionysos and begat many other stories as well, i.e.: The Minotaur. During Ceremonial ritual, Minoans would drink from great vessels called rhytons sculpted in the shape of a bull: The ultimate consumption of divinity—by intoxication, in the shape of a beast—Purely Dionysian. “Zeus gave birth to a bull-horned god, and crowned his son with a wreath of snakes” (5) Euripides writes in The Bacchae and Other Plays and borrows, not one, but two symbolic images Associated primarily with Minoan ritual: The Bull and the Snakes (see the famed Minoan Snake Goddess) Giving further evidence to Dionysos’ relationship to a more ancient feminine culture and one that so Closely married the anthropomorphic elements that were more closely tied to nature and all its Instinctual ramifications, logic be damned. Arthur Evans (4) quotes another author Nilsson, 1950, who Explains plainly why in modern classical Greece, the ideals Dionysus would have reemerged and held Value for women “We have a warlike upper class which created a state of the gods model of their own Feudal organization. On the bottom was the great mass of architectural workers and slaves who retained the agrarian and nature deities of the old Minoan religion and their special rites” Evans continues “by the time of the classical era, he had become the center of a massive cult….that disturbed the upper class…,therefore, the return of the repressed…not just of the underclassses at last making their social clout felt…also a resurgence of a world-view,…regarding nature, sexuality, and religion that directly threatened the established concepts of the time.” In Classical Greece, certainly no other citizen would have defined the word repressed better …than a woman. Dionysus own mythical family and mother Semele, relative to Minos, was derivative of Crete and the Minoans, so who better than one Bull headed god of chaos and nature harkening back to a time of female patronage and power could champion an entire downtrodden indentured sex in an effort to either overthrow establishment or subvert it or at the very least, release. These mad maidens, imbibed with the liquid essence of Dionysus, for which they no doubt Pressed with their own feet and fermented and bottled and toiled over, could, in the private company of Other “sister” citizens retreat literally into nature into the forests and hills and unleash all of their Urges and desires, and rage against a society that revoked their will while recounting and recollecting a Time in which women held greater powers . A celebration of, not a triumph over the beast as the Athenians admired, but an intercourse with him and thus, perhaps a greater understanding of the The nature of physical reality and life. One that, by their very physiognomy, would remind them of That vey crimson element of life and death that runs through all living things, once a month: the “Pollution” of menstruation. Where women were expected to be softer, docile, and recepitous of sexual Engagement—as ornamental and immobilized as the very vessels from which they drank, here within Ancient sacred Dionystic rites, was an opportunity for them to unsheathe their ferocity, Aggressiveness , and sexual desires into a state of frenzied abandon and freedom. Freedom, even if only Symbolically set aside for a ceremonial night of debauchery would have appeared a powerful aphrodisiac To a repressed woman of Ancient Greece, in contrast to the restrictions of their daily modern and “Platonic” lives. Perhaps the greatest benefit they may have gleaned was a therapeutic one. Work Cited 1. Women In Ancient Greece (A sourcebook) by Bonnie Maclachlan 2. Women’s Life in Greece & Rome (A sourcebook in Translation) by Mary R. Lefkowitz and Maureen B. Fant 3. Dionysys Myth and Cult by Walter F. Otto 4. The Cult of Dionysys by Leon Davalos 5. The Bacchae and Other Plays by Euripides (translated by John Davie) 6. The God of Ecstasy by Arthur Evans

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Image Comics Solicitations for June 2017

Image Comics has released solicitation information and images for new books and products shipping in June 2017. When you’re through checking out these solicitations for new Image releases, be sure to visit CBR’s Image Comics forum to discuss these titles and products with fellow readers and fans.

Image Comics Solicitations – Last Six Months

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CROSSWIND #1 – GEM OF THE MONTH

STORY: GAIL SIMONE • ART / COVER: CAT STAGGS

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

Fan-favorite creators GAIL SIMONE and CAT STAGGS make their stunning Image debut with this mind-bending new ongoing series!

A slick and ruthless Chicago hitman. A smart but downtrodden Seattle housewife. When an inexplicable event strikes these two random strangers, their bodies, souls, and lives are switched to potentially deadly effect. It’s Freaky Friday meets Goodfellas!

THE DIVIDED STATES OF HYSTERIA #1 – GEM OF THE MONTH

STORY / ART / COVER: HOWARD CHAYKIN

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

An America sundered. An America enraged. An America terrified. An America shattered by greed and racism, violence and fear, nihilism and tragedy…and that’s when everything really goes to hell.

SAVAGE DRAGON #225 – 25th ANNIVERSARY ISSUE!

STORY / ART / COVERS A & C: ERIK LARSEN

COVER B: Frank Fosco

JUNE 21 / 100 PAGES / FC / M / $9.99

“THE MERGING OF MULTIPLE EARTHS,” Conclusion

Giant-sized 25th anniversary special! Savage Dragon is restored to his former glory as he bulks up to take on Darklord in a final battle! Mr. Glum’s devious plot to merge the multi-verse comes to its cataclysmic conclusion! Savage Dragon and Malcolm Dragon join forces to save Angel Murphy and the very earth itself!

SAVAGE DRAGON: WARFARE TP

STORY / ART / COVER: ERIK LARSEN

JUNE 14 / 128 PAGES / FC / M / $19.99

Spawn, Ant, and Malcolm Dragon face their greatest challenge—ever! Battle Girl fights for her life in Dimension-X. Savage Dragon is released from jail. And Mr. Glum goes on trial.

Collects SAVAGE DRAGON #217-222

KILL THE MINOTAUR #1

STORY: CHRIS PASETTO & CHRISTIAN CANTAMESSA • ART / COVER: LUKAS KETNER & JEAN-FRANCOIS BEAULIEU

JUNE 14 / 40 PAGES/ FC / M / $3.99

Athens lost the war to Crete. Now, they pay tribute to King Minos by sacrificing their best citizens to his unearthly labyrinth. Conspirators believe Theseus can be the hero they need to end the mad king’s bloody reign…but no one on this world has ever encountered anything like the savage minotaur.

CHRIS PASETTO, CHRISTIAN CANTAMESSA (Red Dead Redemption) and LUKAS KETNER (WITCH DOCTOR) reinvent the most fearsome beast of all with this horrific tale of heroism. Each issue features 30 pages of story!

SEPTEMBER MOURNING, VOL. 1

STORY: MARIAH McCOURT, EMILY LAZAR • ART: SUMEYYE KESGIN

COVER: MARC SILVESTRI

JUNE 14 / 48 PAGES / FC / T+ / $4.99

SERIES PREMIERE

September Mourning has no past that she can remember, only a strange and shadowy present filled with the voices of the dead. Turned into a unique hybrid by the former Reaper of the lonely, injured, and abused, September Mourning is the only human/reaper to exist. Tasked with reaping the souls of the “worthless” by her mysterious tattoo, September hides and protects them until she can help them realize the last thing they had left undone in life. Whether it’s aiding souls to expose abusers, find lost loves, or settle old debts, in each case September is guided by voice of the Skullfly, which only she can hear.

SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER! #1 (OF 5)

STORY: JODY LEHEUP & SEBASTIAN GIRNER • ART: NIL VENDRELL & MIKE SPICER

COVER A: ANDREW ROBINSON • COVER B: TOM FOWLER • COVER C: ANDY SURIANO

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

SERIES PREMIERE

After being betrayed by the bears that raised him, the legendary Shirtless Bear-Fighter wanders the forest he’s sworn to protect, fistfighting bears, eating flapjacks, and being the angriest man the world has ever known! When wild-eyed, super-strong bears attack the citizens of Major City, Shirtless ventures into the human world to do what he does best…PUNCH THOSE BEARS IN THE FACE! But all is not as it seems. Someone is manipulating Shirtless…and only by confronting the demons of his past can Shirtless hope to save his future!

A heart-filled, hilarious, tall tale for the ages… you don’t want to miss SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER!

WINNEBAGO GRAVEYARD #1 (OF 4)

STORY: STEVE NILES • ART / COVER A: ALISON SAMPSON, Stéphane PAITREAU, JORDIE BELLAIRE, ADITYA BIDIKAR

COVER B: MINGJUE HELEN CHEN

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

SERIES PREMIERE

An American family traveling on vacation finds themselves stranded in a small town with a sinister secret.

BITCH PLANET: TRIPLE FEATURE #1

STORY: CHERYL LYNN EATON, ANDREW AYDIN & CONLEY LYONS • ART: MARIA FRÖHLICH, JOANNA ESTEP

COVER: VALENTINE DE LANDRO

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

DECONNICK & DE LANDRO PRESENT: THE TRIPLE FEATURE!

Ripped directly from the world of BITCH PLANET, a crack team of creators spin three teeth-clenching tales of rage, revolution, and ridicule.

PLUS: Essays, letter column, and more!

100% Grade A satire. Accept no substitutes.

BLACK MAGICK #6

STORY: GREG RUCKA • ART / COVER A: NICOLA SCOTT

COVER B: LIAM SHARPE

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

NEW STORY ARC

What the hell is the deal with Rowan Black, anyway? For that matter, just how many “real” witches are there? What is the bond that ties Rowan and Alex together? Is the series really coming back, or is this just the creative team messing with your heads?

Yes, it’s true—the critically acclaimed series returns with a standalone story detailing how Rowan was awakened to her family’s legacy…and the enormous cost of being its inheritor.

BULLETPROOF COFFIN: THE THOUSAND YARD STARE (ONE-SHOT)

STORY: MISTER DAVID HINE • ART / COVER: SHAKY KANE

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

The long-awaited sequel to THE BULLETPROOF COFFIN!

When indie publisher Image Nation hires Shaky Kane to write and draw his own comic book, the artist finally finds himself free from the tedium of visualizing the geriatric ramblings of washed-up hack, David Hine. See the awful consequences as jealous rivalry leads to a bloody showdown on the convention floor.

SEVEN TO ETERNITY #7

STORY: RICK REMENDER • ART / COVER B: JAMES HARREN & MATT HOLLINGSWORTH

COVER A: JEROME OPEÑA & MATT HOLLINGSWORTH

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

NEW ARTIST

Now suffering from the aftermath of the sentient swamp, The Mosak follow Adam to Jevalia’s childhood home to discover a trampled paradise, the bled souls of its heroes, and a fetid industry thirsting for more.

SEVEN TO ETERNITY is proud to welcome superstar JAMES HARREN as a special guest artist to unveil the heights of heroism in a world awash with corruption.

SHUTTER #29

STORY: JOE KEATINGE • ART / COVER: LEILA DEL DUCA & OWEN GIENI

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

NEW STORY ARC • “CODA OBSCURA, PART ONE: WHAT YEARS MAY COME”

SHUTTER returns and begins to say goodbye with a look at what the future holds for absolutely everyone readers met along the way.

SOUTHERN CROSS #13

STORY / COVER: BECKY CLOONAN • ART: ANDY BELANGER & LEE LOUGHRIDGE

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

NEW STORY ARC • “THE CRYPT DIMENSION,” Part One

The SOUTHERN CROSS rises from the methane sea of Titan for its third terrifying season! Retired detective Hazel Conroy and her unlikely crew of misfits, mutants, and liars board the cursed spaceship for what might be their final adventure. Surprising, smart, and delightfully scary, SOUTHERN CROSS is the most fun you can have without getting killed by aliens.

SUN BAKERY #5

STORY / ART / COVER: COREY LEWIS

JUNE 28 / 48 PAGES / FC / M / $4.99

NEW STORY ARC • “SOUL OF SHARKNIFE,” Part One

Great jumping-on point! Two new series kick off in SUN BAKERY #5: “SOUL OF SHARKNIFE,” the long-awaited return of indie comics superhero Sharknife in a brand-new adventure, and “FREEZE,” a fantastical breakdancing battle. “BAT RIDER” continues his supernatural skateboarding adventure, and more micro comics abound in SUN BAKERY #5.

WAYWARD #21

STORY: JIM ZUB • ART / COVER A: STEVEN CUMMINGS & TAMRA BONVILLAIN

COVER B: HICHAM HABCHI

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

NEW STORY ARC • “TETHERED SOULS,” Part One

Nikaido’s powers are growing, and he’s not the only one…

WAYWARD unleashes myth into the modern world. It’s the perfect time to get on board and see what all the excitement is about!

BIRTHRIGHT #25

STORY: JOSHUA WILLIAMSON • ART / COVER: ANDREI BRESSAN & ADRIANO LUAS

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $2.99

END OF STORY ARC

For 25 issues, the Rhodes family has seen it all—the return of their lost son Mikey, his transformation into a hero of legend, and the existence of mages and horrific monsters on Earth. But nothing can prepare them for what happens in this anniversary 25th issue!

BLACK CLOUD #3

STORY: JASON LATOUR & IVAN BRANDON • ART / COVER: GREG HINKLE & MATT WILSON

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

What’s worse, a memory or a bad dream? Zelda is stuck in one and running from the other.

THE BLACK MONDAY MURDERS #7

STORY: JONATHAN HICKMAN • ART / COVER: TOMM COKER

JUNE 14 / 40 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

“The Scales”

Accounts are balanced and old grudges are settled. Revenge is the order of the day.

CANNIBAL #6

STORY: BRIAN BUCCELLATO & JENNIFER YOUNG • ART / COVER: MATÍAS BERGARA

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

Grady and Louise must deal with the ramifications of Danny’s escape from prison as Cash comes to grips with Jolene’s fate.

COPPERHEAD #14

STORY: JAY FAERBER • ART: DREW MOSS & RON RILEY

COVER: SCOTT GODLEWSKI & RON RILEY

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC

Clara has a violent encounter with the mayor’s killer—while a new threat closes in on Copperhead.

DEADLY CLASS #30

STORY: RICK REMENDER • ART / COVER A: WES CRAIG & JORDAN BOYD

COVER B: STEPHANE ROUX

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

A gnarly party gets ruined.

THE DYING AND THE DEAD #5 (OF 10)

STORY: JONATHAN HICKMAN • ART / COVER: RYAN BODENHEIM

JUNE 28 / 40 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

“TO STEAL AN EMPIRE”

When you’ve had everything taken from you, does it matter if they take a little more?

ECLIPSE #8

STORY: ZACK KAPLAN • ART / COVER: GIOVANNI TIMPANO

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC

As the sun sets on the second arc, secrets are revealed about the mysterious men who don’t burn in deadly sunlight. But as Cielo infiltrates her father’s company for answers and Bax tries to escape a war zone full of armed soldiers, both must decide which side they’re truly on.

ELEPHANTMEN #78

STORY: RICHARD STARKINGS • ART: AXEL MEDELLIN

COVER: BOO COOK

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

“EXTINCTION”

Hip Flask and Farrell follow a lead out into the desert and face the grim reality of life for Elephantmen in 2260.

ETERNAL EMPIRE #2

STORY: JONATHAN LUNA & SARAH VAUGHN • ART / COVER: JONATHAN LUNA

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

The Eternal Empress has waged war against the countries of Saia for over 100 years, and now her sights are set on the last country standing. Within the brutal Empire’s workforce, a young man receives strange visions that give him the courage to escape his fate…or run straight toward it.

EXTREMITY #4

STORY/ART/COVER: DANIEL WARREN JOHNSON • COLOR: MIKE SPICER

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

As Thea’s guerilla warfare against the Paznina intensifies, her father comes face-to-face with the man who killed his wife.

THE FEW #6 (OF 6)

STORY: SEAN LEWIS • ART / COVER: HAYDEN SHERMAN

JUNE 21 / 56 PAGES / FC / M / $4.99

MINISERIES FINALE

The critically acclaimed maxiseries comes to its massive end! Edan’s secret is out. With no family, no allies, and no country, she is left to do the one thing the desperate have available to them: lash out. As she sets her sights on the Palace and the government she fought so hard for, Peter and Davey question how much someone has to do to make you trust them again…

GOD COUNTRY #6

STORY: DONNY CATES • ART: GEOFF SHAW, JASON WORDIE & JOHN J. HILL

COVER A: GEOFF SHAW • COVER B: GERARDO ZAFFINO

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

MINISERIES FINALE

Our story comes to an earth-shattering conclusion as Valofax meets its maker, Roy learns what it means to be a father, and Emmett Quinlan confronts God in the dying Kingdom of Always…

GREEN VALLEY #9 (OF 9)

STORY: MAX LANDIS • ART / COVER: GIUSEPPE CAMUNCOLI, CLIFF RATHBURN & JEAN-FRANCOIS BEAULIEU

JUNE 14 / 48 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

MINISERIES FINALE • GIANT-SIZED final issue!

The knights of Kelodia were once the finest in the land, until they faced the wizard of Green Valley. Now, their epic, time-bending quest comes to a close in this extra-sized issue, and history will never be the same again.

GRRL SCOUTS: MAGIC SOCKS #2 (OF 6)

STORY / ART / COVER A: JIM MAHFOOD • COLORS: JUSTIN STEWART

COVER B: BILL SIENKIEWICZ

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

Things heat up as the origins of the mysterious Magic Socks are revealed! After betraying Gwen and Rita, Daphne engages in an epic battle against her little cousin Josie. This second issue is stuffed to the gills with an action-packed story, bonus art, soundtrack, and sketchbook. Plus, a variant cover by the legendary BILL SIENKIEWICZ! Pure fun! Pure flavor!

HADRIAN’S WALL #8 (of 8)

STORY: KYLE HIGGINS & ALEC SIEGEL • ART / COVER: ROD REIS

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

MINISERIES FINALE • FINAL ISSUE!

In their final moments together, will Simon and Annabelle be able to move past their pain? Or will they both die alone?

HEAD LOPPER #6

STORY / ART / COVER A: ANDREW MACLEAN • COLORS: JORDIE BELLAIRE

COVER B: BENJAMIN MARRA

JUNE 21 / 48 PAGES / FC / T+ / $5.99

“QUEST FOR THE CRYSTAL EYES”

The search for the Crystal Eyes begins. Norgal and Agatha try one door, Zhaania and Xho another. What terrors lie in wait beyond? What traps are set for springing? Only Ulrich the Twice Damned knows for certain. The way forward is unclear but our heroes press on into the strange.

HORIZON #12

STORY: BRANDON THOMAS • ART: JUAN GEDEON & MIKE SPICER

COVER: JASON HOWARD

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $2.99

END OF STORY ARC

Zhia Malen came to Earth to make sure humanity would never endanger her planet. Now, she’s on the verge of landing her most lethal attack yet… Plus, a revelation that will have you rushing to reread the previous 11 issues!

I HATE FAIRYLAND #13

STORY: SKOTTIE YOUNG • ART: SKOTTIE YOUNG & DEAN RANKINE

COVER A: SKOTTIE YOUNG • COVER B (F**K FAIRYLAND VARIANT): SKOTTIE YOUNG

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

“LARRY’S LIFE”

Find out what Larry’s life could have been like if he had never met Gert.

IMAGE+ #15

JUNE 28 / 64 PAGES / FC / $1.99

IMAGE+ features in-depth interviews with creators, extended previews of upcoming titles, insightful essays, spotlights on comic shops, and everything fans want to know about what’s coming soon from Image Comics. In addition, every issue features a chapter of the ongoing THE WALKING DEAD story “HERE’S NEGAN!” revealing the origin of the fan-favorite villain, created by the New York Times bestselling team of ROBERT KIRKMAN & CHARLIE ADLARD! IMAGE+, the Magazine of the Year in the 2016 Diamond Gem Awards, is where to go when you want to know what’s new and hot at Image Comics.

INJECTION #14

STORY: WARREN ELLIS • ART / COVER A & B: DECLAN SHALVEY & JORDIE BELLAIRE

JUNE 21 / 24 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

“Something lies beneath the henge and the megaliths and the moor, and the storm may wake it.”

INVINCIBLE #137

STORY: ROBERT KIRKMAN • ART / COVER: RYAN OTTLEY & NATHAN FAIRBAIRN

JUNE 21 / 24 PAGES / FC/ M / $2.99

“THE END OF ALL THINGS,” Part Five

This issue has everything! Mark and Eve in peril! Allen’s fleet chased by Thragg’s forces! Terra learning to use her powers! Robot doing something (else) evil! Did we mention Tether Tyrant? All this and Debbie Grayson momming the hell out of the cover!

KILL OR BE KILLED #10

STORY: ED BRUBAKER • ART: SEAN PHILLIPS & ELIZABETH BREITWEISER

COVER: SEAN PHILLIPS

JUNE 28 / 40 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC

As his life spins out of control, Dylan and his demon come face-to-face once again.

LOW #19

STORY: RICK REMENDER • ART / COVER: GREG TOCCHINI & DAVE MCCAIG

COVER B: STEPHANE ROUX

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC • “OUTER ASPECTS OF INNER ATTITUDES,” Conclusion

Death comes to the drowning city as Tajo and her crew fight to inspire the citizens of Salus to not go gentle into that good night.

MAGDALENA, VOL. 4 #4

STORY: TINI HOWARD & RYAN CADY • ART / COVER: CHRISTIAN DIBARI

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC

That which should be bound has been freed, and that which needs to fight has been detained. Demons may have us in numbers, but God’s on our side. Our first testament ends here.

MANIFEST DESTINY #30

STORY: CHRIS DINGESS • ART / COVER: MATTHEW ROBERTS & OWEN GIENI

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $2.99

END OF STORY ARC

Sacagawea the warrior. Sacagawea the mother.

MIRROR #9

STORY / ART: EMMA RÍOS & HWEI LIM

COVER: HWEI LIM

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

Meetings and reunions link the uncertain fates of the Irzah animals to the destiny of Tekton Ninua.

THE OLD GUARD #5

STORY: GREG RUCKA • ART/COVER: LEANDRO FERNÁNDEZ

JUNE 21 / 40 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC • “PART FIVE”

Conclusion. The Old Guard falls. Literally.

THE OLD GUARD will return in 2018!

OUTCAST #29

STORY: ROBERT KIRKMAN • ART / COVER: PAUL AZACETA & ELIZABETH BREITWEISER

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $2.99

“UNWELCOMED”

There are certain places Outcasts just should not go. Kyle and his father have taken a huge risk.

PAKLIS #2

STORY: DUSTIN WEAVER & D.J. BRYANT • ART / COVER: DUSTIN WEAVER

JUNE 28 / 56 PAGES / FC / T+ / $5.99

A spy becomes involved with the subject of his surveillance in this issue’s short story, “An Empty Shell in the Ocean.” Then Tara heads deeper into the Shadow Zone where she battles Nerial pilots in a deadly dogfight and discovers an unbelievable binary planetary system while on her search for Amnia in “Amnia Cycle,” Part Two. And we learn just how big the galaxy is in “Sagittarius A*,” Part Three.

PAPER GIRLS #15

STORY: BRIAN K. VAUGHAN • ART: CLIFF CHIANG & MATT WILSON

COVER: CLIFF CHIANG

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $2.99

END OF STORY ARC • EXPLOSIVE END OF A STORY ARC!

It’s the end of an era as KJ, Mac, Tiffany, and Erin must do the unthinkable to escape our prehistoric past. 24 pages of story on the best paper in comics, and still only $2.99!

PLANETOID PRAXIS #5 (OF 6)

STORY / ART / COVER: KEN GARING

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

Unrest in the settlement culminates in an attack on Heliocor…with lethal results!

PLASTIC #3 (OF 5)

STORY: DOUG WAGNER • ART: DANIEL HILLYARD & LAURA MARTIN

COVER A: ANDREW ROBINSON • COVER B: DANIEL HILLYARD

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

With a new girl along for the ride (who, surprisingly, is an actual living, breathing person), Edwyn continues his head-chopping rampage to save the love of his life…but the Dixie Mafia have some rather devious plans of their own.

REDNECK #3

STORY: DONNY CATES • ART/COVER: LISANDRO ESTHERREN & DEE CUNNIFFE

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

What lurks in the attic of the Bowman house? With everything going to hell for his family, Bartlett must confront the one sonuvabitch that puts fear in other vampires. And what exactly do the Bowman boys have planned for Father Landry?

REGRESSION #2

STORY: CULLEN BUNN • ART/COVER: DANNY LUCKERT & MARIE ENGER

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / $3.99

Adrian’s descent into madness and horror continues! In an attempt to rid himself of terrifying waking nightmares, Adrian agreed to undergo past life regression therapy. Now it seems that something sinister has followed Adrian back from a past life into this one!

RENATO JONES: SEASON TWO #2 (OF 5)

STORY / ART / COVER: KAARE KYLE ANDREWS

JUNE 7 / 48 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

“THE FREELANCER,” Part Two

The government is burning. Corruption has taken power. Billionaires rule the world. And only one freelancer has the tools them make them “CHOKE ON THI$!”

Don’t miss part two of the largest audience to witness a comic book, period!

ROCK CANDY MOUNTAIN #3

STORY / ART / COVER: KYLE STARKS

JUNE 7 / 24 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

Well, it looks like our train-jumping hobo boys have finally seen where the wheel meets the ground. This issue, we learn about the difference between bums and hobos, why Jackson is so good at fighting, and what the Literal Devil wants with our Hobo Hero. Also, yeah, as always, there’s fighting. HOBO FIGHTING.

ROSE #3

STORY: MEREDITH FINCH • ART/COVER A: IG GUARA

COVER B: JOYCE CHIN

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / T / $3.99

Desperate for allies, Rose and Ila look for help in the most unlikely of places. Rose confronts the truth about—and feels the burden of—her magical abilities. Can she really be some kind of savior? Meanwhile, Thorne makes a heartbreaking discovery about his own role in the future of the land.

ROYAL CITY #4

STORY / ART / COVER: JEFF LEMIRE

JUNE 21/ 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

It all falls down. The delicate balancing act that has been keeping the fragile lives of each Pike family member aloft comes crashing down. And with his past finally catching up to him, Pat’s sins are revealed, but it may be too late to make amends. The penultimate chapter of ROYAL CITY’s first storyline delivers shocking twists and heartbreaking truths.

SAGA #44

ART / COVER: FIONA STAPLES • STORY: BRIAN K. VAUGHAN

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $2.99

Hazel and her family search for elusive treasure: affordable healthcare.

SAMARITAN #2

STORY: MATT HAWKINS • ART / COVER: ATILIO ROJO

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

Sam kidnaps the CEO of Northlock Industries, a massive military industrial complex company that’s linked to the president, and begins her plan to take him down. She comes to terms with the fact that it may very well be a suicide mission.

SEX CRIMINALS #20

STORY: MATT FRACTION • ART / COVER: CHIP ZDARSKY

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC

All good things, like sex, crime, and this arc of SEX CRIMINALS, come to an end. And this one ends with CHARACTERS doing THINGS and making CHOICES that CHANGE EVERYTHING! In terms of, y’know, the SEX CRIMINALS comic book. Everything’s still the same over in, like, Batman or whatever.

SEX CRIMINALS #20 XXX JOE QUINONES VARIANT

STORY: MATT FRACTION • ART: CHIP ZDARSKY

COVER: JOE QUINONES

JUNE 21 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $4.69

JOE QUINONES. XXX Variant. Artiste of Howard the Duck. GOD if only there was some way to turn that title into something dirty.

SONS OF THE DEVIL #13

STORY: BRIAN BUCCELLATO • ART / COVER: TONI INFANTE

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

“THE NINE”

Travis must decide how far he is willing to go to save his siblings, Melissa, and his newborn son!

SPAWN #275

STORY: TODD McFARLANE • ART: SZYMON KUDRANSKI

COVER A: HICHAM HIBACHI • COVER B: B&W Variant of Cover A

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / T / $2.99

SAM AND TWITCH ARE BACK!!!

STRAY BULLETS: SUNSHINE & ROSES #25

STORY / ART / COVER: DAVID LAPHAM

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / BW / M / $3.99

An unholy (and objectively quite icky) union leads to a massacre in a small town.

THEY’RE NOT LIKE US #18

STORY: ERIC STEPHENSON • ART: SIMON GANE & JORDIE BELLAIRE

COVER: SIMON GANE & FONOGRAFIKS

JUNE 28 / 24 PAGES / FC / M / $2.99

SERIES FINALE

Syd makes a decision with life-altering implications for everyone.

THINK TANK: ANIMAL #4

STORY: MATT HAWKINS • ART / COVER: RAHSAN EKEDAL

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / FC / T+ / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC

Will WWIII start over the Russian-Estonian invasion? The incumbent president is caught in a scandal, and it looks like a religious ideologue will win the White House. How does Turkey play into the future of NATO’s plans? This could be the most prescient and frightening issue of THINK TANK so far!

THROWAWAYS #9

STORY: CAITLIN KITTREDGE • ART / COVER: STEVEN SANDERS

JUNE 14 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

END OF STORY ARC

Just as Abby, Grant, and Dean think they may have figured out Ostrander’s plan for her new crop of Alpha subjects, Dean is taken out of the equation. Grant is sidelined by Ostrander’s most powerful Alpha, and Abby and Kimiko are left to face Ostrander’s ally, Senator Ben Stark, on their own.

UNDERWINTER #4

STORY / ART / COVER : RAY FAWKES

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / M / $3.99

“SYMPHONY,” Part Four

To the sound of their own shattering souls, the quartet arm themselves for battle against an incomprehensibly evil foe.

THE WALKING DEAD #168

STORY: ROBERT KIRKMAN • ART: CHARLIE ADLARD, STEFANO GAUDIANO & CLIFF RATHBURN

COVER: CHARLIE ADLARD & DAVE STEWART

JUNE 7 / 32 PAGES / BW / M / $2.99

“THE ROAD’S END”

Nothing is more damaging than misplaced trust.

YOUNGBLOOD #2

STORY: CHAD BOWERS • ART / COVER A: JIM TOWE

COVER B: ROB LIEFELD • COVER C: CANAAN WHITE

JUNE 28 / 32 PAGES / FC / T / $3.99

“YOUNGBLOOD REBORN,” Part Two

The ‘Blood is back, baby! But for how long? Shaft arrives in Baltimore with a warning for the team of rookie heroes calling themselves “Youngblood,” but will it fall on deaf ears? Meanwhile, President Die Hard meets with the architects of the popular Help! app and struggles with just how far he’s willing to go to protect the country. All this, plus Badrock keeping secrets? Seriously, Badrock…already? What the hell, dude, it’s only the second issue?

ASTOUNDING WOLF-MAN COMPLETE COLLECTION HC

STORY: ROBERT KIRKMAN • ART/COVER: JASON HOWARD

JUNE 28 / 656 PAGES / FC / T+ / $54.99

For the first time ever, the complete ASTOUNDING WOLF-MAN is collected in one volume!

When Gary Hampton is mauled and left for dead, his life takes a drastic turn! When the moon is full, he transforms into a beast of the night—a werewolf! But this curse will not be used for evil. Witness the birth of the world’s most unlikely new superhero—The Astounding Wolf-Man!

Collects ASTOUNDING WOLF-MAN #1-25 and INVINCIBLE #57.

LOOSE ENDS TP

STORY: JASON LATOUR • ART / COVER: CHRIS BRUNNER & RICO RENZI

JUNE 28 / 128 PAGES / FC / M / $14.99

No one seemed to notice Sonny Gibson as he stepped back into “The Hideaway,” a dusty little honky-tonk nestled off the Carolina highway. But before the night was over, Sonny would be on the run—from the law, from criminals, and even from himself. LOOSE ENDS is a gritty, slow-cooked, Southern crime romance that follows a winding trail down Tobacco Road, through the war-torn streets of Baghdad, and into the bright lights and bloody gutters of South Florida.

From JASON LATOUR, co-creator of Eisner-winning SOUTHERN BASTARDS and the writer of Spider-Gwen, CHRIS BRUNNER (SOUTHERN BASTARDS, Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight), and RICO RENZI (Spider-Gwen, Squirrel Girl).

Collects LOOSE ENDS #1-4.

TOKYO GHOST DELUXE EDITION HC

STORY: RICK REMENDER • ART / COVER: SEAN GORDON MURPHY & MATT HOLLINGSWORTH

JULY 5 / 272 PAGES / FC / M / $39.99 / 8” x 12”

ADVANCE SOLICIT

The Isles of Los Angeles 2089: Humanity is addicted to technology. Getting a virtual buzz is the only thing left to live for, and gangsters run it all. And who do these gangsters turn to when they need their rule enforced? Constables Led Dent and Debbie Decay are about to be given a job that will force them out of the familiar squalor of LA and into the last tech-less country on Earth: The Garden Nation of Tokyo.

Presenting the full run of the smash hit TOKYO GHOST by RICK REMENDER & SEAN GORDON MURPHY in this oversized hardcover, packed with extra content, variants, designs, sketches, and bonus materials!

Collects TOKYO GHOST #1-10.

CHEW SMORGASBORD EDITION, VOL. 3 HC

STORY: JOHN LAYMAN • ART / COVER: ROB GUILLORY

JUNE 28 / 640 PAGES / FC / M / $100.00

Presenting the third and final CHEW Smorgasbord, a massive, deluxe hardcover featuring the final 20 issues of the New York Times bestselling, Harvey and multiple Eisner Award-winning series about cops, crooks, cooks, cannibals, and clairvoyants. Enemies are confronted, mysteries are solved, and the body count rises so very, very high.

Collects CHEW #41-60 in addition to the blockbuster one-shots featuring everybody’s favorite homicidal rooster, WARRIOR CHICKEN POYO, DEMON CHICKEN POYO, and the dual crossover event, CHEW/REVIVAL and REVIVAL/CHEW.

CHEW SMORGASBORD EDITION VOL 3 HC Signed & Numbered

JUNE 28 / 640 PAGES / FC / M / $150.00

DESCENDER, VOL. 4: ORBITAL MECHANICS TP

STORY: JEFF LEMIRE • ART / COVER: DUSTIN NGUYEN

JUNE 21 / 120 PAGES / FC / T+ / $14.99

Tim-21, Telsa, and Quon finally escape the Machine Moon and head out on a quest to find the ancient robot who may hold the key to the Harvesters. Meanwhile Andy and his ragtag team close in on Tim, but their fragile alliance is shattered by Driller’s revelations.

A new chapter of the heartfelt sci-fi epic by superstar creators JEFF LEMIRE & DUSTIN NGUYEN begins here.

Collects DESCENDER #17-21

DRIFTER VOL. 4: REMAINS TP

STORY: IVAN BRANDON • ART / COVER: NIC KLEIN

JUNE 14 / 120 PAGES / FC / M / $14.99

Ghost Town is destroyed. The planet Ouro is coming apart at the seams. But even with the world breaking around him, Abram Pollux can only think of revenge on the man named Bell Emmerich.

IVAN BRANDON & NIC KLEIN are proud to present the final chapter in their brooding sci-fi epic. All mysteries will be solved. All questions answered. All scores settled.

Collects DRIFTER #15-19

EAST OF WEST, VOL. 7 TP

STORY: JONATHAN HICKMAN • ART / COVER: NICK DRAGOTTA

JUNE 28 / 128 PAGES / FC / M / $14.99

The final year of the apocalypse begins! Armies rage! Nations at War! A family fights to be reunited.

Collects EAST OF WEST #30-34

MONSTRESS, VOL. 2 TP

STORY: MARJORIE LIU • ART / COVER: SANA TAKEDA

JUNE 21 / 144 PAGES / FC / M / $14.99

The Eisner-nominated MONSTRESS is back!

Maika, Kippa, and Ren journey to Thyria in search of answers to her past…and discover a terrible new threat.

Collects MONSTRESS #7-12

OCTOPUS PIE, VOL. 5 TP

STORY / ART / COVER: MEREDITH GRAN

JUNE 28 / 312 PAGES / FC / T+ / $19.99

As they watch the days of their youth roll by, Brooklynites Eve, Hanna, and friends must confront the truth about themselves—whether they’re ready to or not. The award-winning webcomic series comes to a close in this final laugh-filled, heartrending installment.

POP GUN WAR, VOL. 2: CHAIN LETTER TP

STORY / ART / COVER: FAREL DALRYMPLE

JUNE 14 / 176 PAGES / FC / T+ / $17.99

Stuck in a small town with a broken-down van, Emily goes on a walk. After following some shady characters through subterranean tunnels, she discovers three video monitors showing stories from a magical present, dreamy past, and strange future.

In this long-awaited sequel to the award-winning and critically acclaimed graphic novel POP GUN WAR: GIFT, author and creator of The Wrenchies, FAREL DALRYMPLE, revisits his world of surreal urban fantasy.

POSTAL, VOL. 5 TP

STORY: BRYAN HILL • ART / COVER: ISAAC GOODHART

JUNE 28 / 128 PAGES / FC / M / $14.99

FBI Agent Chris Bremble comes face to face with Isaac Shiffron, the sociopath who gave birth to Eden, and to find the truth of the past, Bremble will have to endure Isaac’s madness. Laura puts Mark in charge of Eden to see if her son has the ability to lead a town full of criminals who don’t trust or believe in him. His mother, Maggie, and Molly all have a vision for what Mark should be…but which path will he choose?

Collects POSTAL #17-20.

SHE WOLF, VOL. 2 TP

STORY / ART / COVER: RICH TOMMASO

JUNE 14 / 96 PAGES / FC / M / $12.99

The second series of this surreal teenage tragedy veers away from season one’s main character, Gabrielle, and focuses on her younger sibling Lizzie, who becomes jaded, rebellious, and downright homicidal after her “sweet” sixteenth birthday. Not only is it her turn to come to terms with her werewolf curse, but she also learns that she has been possessed by a powerful demon.

Collects SHE WOLF #5-8.

SPREAD, VOL. 4 TP

STORY: JUSTIN JORDAN • ART / COVER: JOHN BIVENS, FELIPE SOBREIRO

COVER: KYLE STRAHM, FELIPE SOBREIRO

JUNE 21 / 128 PAGES / FC / M / $14.99

Ravello, gifted with terrible new abilities by the Spread, has returned to, organize the raiders of the Quarantine Zone into something the world has never seen. No and company are pushed to the limit in the penultimate volume of the SPREAD saga.

Collects SPREAD #18-21.

THE WICKED + THE DIVINE, VOL. 5: IMPERIAL PHASE (I) TP

STORY: KIERON GILLEN • ART: JAMIE McKELVIE, Matt Wilson & KEVIN WADA

COVER: JAMIE McKELVIE & Matt Wilson

JUNE 7 / 144 PAGES / FC / M / $14.99

The gods are free to do whatever they want. Inevitably, they do.

Collects THE WICKED + THE DIVINE #23-28, including the critically lauded KEVIN WADA magazine issue.

SUNSTONE 18-MONTH CALENDAR

ART: Stjepan Sejic

JUNE 7 / 20 PAGES / FC / M / $24.99

Calendar based on the New York Times bestselling erotic romantic comedy graphic novel. Show off your love for SUNSTONE with original, never-before scenes from the comic, as drawn by artist Stjepan Sejic.

11×22, spiral bound, July 2017 – December 2018

GOD COUNTRY T-SHIRT

$24.99 • unisex ringspun cotton.

Want to rep Emmett Quinlan, Valofax, and the Lone Star State? look no further than our brand new exclusive GOD COUNTRY tee!

Available now, in sizes SM-4XL!

THE WALKING DEAD TV NEGAN COLLECTIBLE ACTION FIGURE

Solid Case Pack Information: Standard 8-pack case. Refer to individual item code above when ordering. Call your local retailer for pricing.

MASS EFFECT: ANDROMEDA SCOTT RYDER COLLECTIBLE ACTION FIGURE

Solid Case Pack Information: Standard 8-pack case. Refer to individual item code above when ordering. Call your local retailer for pricing.

GEARS OF WAR 4 MARCUS FENIX COLLECTIBLE ACTION FIGURE

Solid Case Pack Information: Standard 8-pack case. Refer to individual item code above when ordering. Call your local retailer for pricing.

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ponyvsthebottle · 7 years

Text

Being an account of the founding of the city of Thebes, because everybody already knows about how the city of Rome came within an ace of being called Reme but that’s neither here nor there

SO Europa was just minding her own fucking business making daisy chains when she sees the most beautiful bull in the world. It was white, which I guess was the signal for beautiful back in old-timey Greece. She decided to put a daisy chain on the bull, as one does, and caress its flanks, as one does, and ride on it, whereupon the bull plunged headlong into the ocean and that was the last anybody local saw of Europa. This seems like a cautionary tale for fucking around with cattle, but this is mostly context for what I’m about to tell you, which is the founding of the city of Thebes.

Her brother, Cadmus, reacts to this like a reasonable person would, i.e. he says “well we gotta find her.” So he quests the hell all over the place, and finally visits the Oracle of Apollo at Delphi. There, he probably made whatever gifts a prince makes to an oracle, and the holy men muttered to each other, and the pythia either spoke for herself, or made wild noises because she was in a room with not enough oxygen for a normal person and the holy men interpreted those wild noises (these are the two leading beliefs on how the oracle operated). In any event, the intelligence that our boy Cadmus received from this little episode was this: you’re gonna step outside, and you’re going to see the most beautiful cow in the world, and you’re going to follow that cow. IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE A HOT IDEA TO ME GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF HIS SISTER’S DISAPPEARANCE but out he steps and there’s a real good-looking cow walking by.

So he and his boys (Cadmus brought all his boys along for this operation) get to stepping, and eventually the cow stops, and Cadmus is like well! Nothing for it boys, let’s slit this open, save all the good parts for ourselves, and burn the offal to honor Athena. This is the sort of thing you did with animules in the olden times, you see. This is all thanks to Prometheus, but that’s another story. In any event, you need some water if you’re going to have a fire, so his boys go down to the river to get some water. Cadmus hangs out next to the corpse of the beautiful cow for a while, and eventually gets to wondering what is taking these fools so long. Down goes he to the river and OH SHIT there’s a monstrous snake and it has killed every man Jack of his friends. Thinking quickly, Cadmus slays the shit out of that snake, a plan of action that hadn’t occurred to his contemporaries I suppose. It is thus, standing red-handed and red-legged in this charnel house astride the corpse of a monstrous wyrm, that Athena comes upon him.

Cadmus does not miss a beat, but is like oh hey I was just about to burn for you the parts of the cow that touch the poop and Athena’s like alright that’s super and I appreciate that, but I can’t help but notice that your idiot friends are all dead. Cadmus is like yeah this is real inconvenient frankly and sheds a manly Greek tear, and Athena comforts him as only a woman can, i.e. she tells him to break the teeth out of the snake’s mouth and plant half of them as though they were seeds. Cadmus executes this mission from god(dess), and THUS DO THE SPARTOI MAKE THE SCENE. The Spartoi are blokes much like you or I, insofar as they were fully grown, armored as for war, and they sprung fully-formed from the Grecian soil. Cadmus looks at this field of new friends (standing amidst the bodies of his old friends), and decides that this is just too damn many friends for him. How would you solve this problem? Cadmus cast a rock into their midst.

Who cast that rock in my midst! cries one of the Spartoi, sorely wrothed.

Probably that fucker there! cries Cadmus, from a safe distance.

Not seeing to whom Cadmus pointed and being unable to accurately discern the true identity of the rock-casting asshole, the Spartoi did the next best thing, which was they started to murder each other. And so, over the increasingly trampled bodies of his previous friends, and the freshly trampled carcass of the snake, Cadmus’ new friends fell one after the other, until there were five of them left.

Cadmus entered their midst and said LO I am here to tell you that you should stop fucking killing each other and help me build a city, here. We’re going to call the city “Thebes”! And you’re going to call me, “the King of Thebes”. These men, who have not even been alive for an hour and have already slain a brace of men apiece, look at this unarmored nerd who looks like he could cast a rock pretty amidst, and agree that this plan seems pretty solid. So, it seems like everything’s going to work out after all! I mean, who knows where Europa is, but he’s got some new violent friends, and they’re going to have a great city, and everything’s going to come up Cadmus, right?

JUST THEN Ares, the little-known and less-loved god of cyberbullying arrives. People will be like “oh Ares was the god of war” and I’m here to tell you that in pretty much every myth he shows up in, he is humiliated. He loves picking on weak people, and he thinks he’s great, and if you hit him he cries. He’s a loser, but despite this he’s also a god.

WHAT JAGOFF KILLED MY SON, says Ares.

It was probably that monster that so lately terrorized this area, sayeth Cadmus, but no fear old man I made hamburger helper out of it! But uh did you say son? I didn’t know you had a son in the area.

MY SON WAS A GIANT FUCKOFF SNAKE explained Ares WHOSE MONSTROUS APPETITES FORMED AN END FOR MAN AND BEAST ALIKE.

Hmm, said Cadmus.

IF I SHOULD FIND THE WRETCH WHO DID THIS THING continued Ares, I WOULD ACCEPT NOTHING LESS THAN TO REDUCE HIM TO MY SLAVE, TO EXACT A PENALTY IN YEARS EQUAL TO THAT WHICH HE HAS ROBBED ME OF BY THE SLAYING OF MY SON

I Need To Go, said Cadmus.

Well some more things were said and after some time the truth of the matter came out, and while the city of Thebes was born, Cadmus was serving hard time as the whipping boy for the shitty frat boy of the /pan/theon. After eight years had passed, there was some divine intervention, things were said, and somehow Cadmus was released back to Thebes, and also he got to marry Ares’ daughter, Harmonia, so that seemed nice. Harmonia’s mother was Aphrodite, who was technically married to Haephaestus, so this was probably not viewed as a super classy move in the pantheon. Perhaps it is for this reason (it is canonically for this reason) why the wedding gift Haephaestus gave was a necklace noted for being EXTREMELY CURSED. But that’s neither here nor there.

“What about Europa?” you’re saying. You didn’t forget all about her like Cadmus did! You’re a woke bae for sure. Well, I’ll tell you. The beautiful bull bore her to another shore, then spoke to her and alleged that he was the king of all the gods. See this island we’re on? It’s your island now. Crete! Crete is your island, Europa, and you are the queen of Crete. There was PROBABLY some sex that went down, because as a rule if you as a young lady run into a talking animal in Greece that claims to be Zeus, there was some dick stuff in your future. You might be like “say, did you say Crete? And a bull… is this the origin of the minotaur?” Well, no, but Europa’s son was King Minos, and it was he who fucked up so badly that his wife ALSO got involved with a bull of divine origin but that is a different story altogether.

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