thinking about how the only reason sunny started reconnecting with the world and realising he deserves love is because kel never gave up on him. even though sunny isolated himself from everyone kel still called him and tried to reach out. and it’s so pivotal it’s literally the key choice that determines whether or not you get the good ending. the path to healing and contentment depends on whether or not you take the hand kel offers you. and sunny learns to forgive himself because he keeps making that choice. he opens the door for kel, and therefore chooses reconciliation and personal growth. it’s why he’s able to save basil in the end. because kel is strong and resilient and kind. because kel is lonely and has grieved in silence for years but still looks for sunny everywhere he goes. because they’re both invisible. because everything that sunny needs, kel has.

kel saved sunny’s life

got7 reading: youngjae & yugyeom ideal type + as a boyfriend

hi friends! today i’ll be finishing my got7′s ideal type + as a boyfriend series with our sunshine and dandelion!! for now requests are CLOSED since i have a lot of them and i’ve been starting to get assignments/essays so please be patient with requests as i’m doing my best, you all know the drill so let’s get into it :)

DISCLAIMER: this is all speculative and for entertainment purposes only, so take it with a grain of salt :)

decks used: ethereal visions tarot, archetype cards by caroline myss, heavenly bodies astrology, the wild unknown animal by kim krans

(italicised is the card on the bottom of the tarot deck which is meant to represent the subconscious/blind spot of the situation + rx means reversed)

YOUNGJAE☀️

IDEAL TYPE

5 of cups, 8 of cups, 8 of pentacles rx, the world | engineer, teacher, mouse, earth: persistence, patience, practicality

i got major scorpio vibes when i was shuffling for his ideal type (the two 8 cards) and it’s unsurprising due to his scorpio moon. with the 5 of cups i do feel youngjae wants someone with two contrasting sides like himself, one side is someone who’s incredibly empathetic and feels for others whereas the other is someone who’s optimistic and doesn’t let setbacks slow them down. with the 8 of cups it’s possible that he likes someone who’s very hard to get to know and a bit mysterious cause fire venuses in general find intrigue in people who are a bit difficult to figure out and youngjae’s leo venus can be the type to like the “chase”, i do get the feeling youngjae likes someone who plays a little hard to get. the 8 of pentacles rx tells me youngjae likes someone who’s a bit of a workaholic and very independent, this card can also describe someone who’s always working to improve themselves and aren’t satisfied with mediocrity, just like jackson’s reading i do think youngjae likes a little bit of healthy competition in relationships as it motivates him to be the best version of himself especially when it comes to work (smh fire venuses). with the world card, youngjae wants someone who’s very cultured and is experienced in different aspects of life, i feel like his ideal type would be skilled in different languages and has a high level of intelligence when it comes to different topics, someone who’s multitalented wether it’d be with practicality or creativity would catch youngjae’s eye. his leo venus can make him attracted to the showman types and people who stand out, i do also get the feeling that he wants to have someone who’s very balanced and uses an equal level of emotion and logic to solve problems, his scorpio moon wants someone who’s intense behind closed doors whereas his leo venus wants someone to be outwardly enthusiastic and energetic. 

the engineer card tells me youngjae likes someone who’s able to handle pressure and doesn’t let setbacks dictate their actions, this card also talks about someone who gives creative energy a practical expression so it links back to the points i made earlier about the world card. the teacher card talks about someone who has the ability to communicate knowledge, experience, skill or wisdom which basically reiterates my points from the world card again, i do also get the feeling youngjae gets a lot of energy from those around him so if he has someone to look up to and advise him when he needs it he’ll be incredibly motivated. the mouse card talks about someone who’s organised, resourceful and prepared, since youngjae’s venus and mars is in his 10th house which is ruled by capricorn it’s unsurprising he wants someone who’s reliable and practical, i think spontaneity will work for youngjae at times but due to his fixed placements he prefers to have a schedule and stick to it and would prefer if his partner is the same. earth card basically reiterates the points i made earlier, but he does want a long-lasting relationship and will do anything to keep his relationships lasting for as long as it can, he’s very into to building a firm foundation with his partner however long it takes them as he wants a love that lasts and continues to evolve.

AS A BOYFRIEND

judgement, 2 of cups rx, the sun, 10 of wands rx | scribe, liberator, starfish, jupiter: grow and expand

with the judgement card being the first card i do get the feeling youngjae is an incredibly dedicated boyfriend, in youngjae’s case i feel there’s a few people who catches his eye but only a select few who keeps him engaged so once someone intrigues him he’s gonna be very persistent/dedicated, due to his scorpio moon and leo venus youngjae definitely leads with his heart more than his mind in relationships. the 2 of cups rx tells me youngjae loves very deeply and sometimes struggles with putting up boundaries due to him wanting a very intense love (unsurprising cause of his fixed moon + venus), i feel that there’s also a tendency for him to put his partner on a pedestal and idealise them but it definitely comes from his scorpio moon (i can vouch for this). the sun for our sunshine!! youngjae’s gonna be the happy virus in the relationship and will love messing around, his leo venus and mars can make him someone who loves joking around and have a lighthearted romance, he’s gonna love laughing and having a lot of fun with his partner and he’s probably gonna act like a big kid with them. the 10 of wands rx tells me youngjae could hide a lot of his sadness/burdens from his partner, he’s the type to be a serial optimist and would hate dwelling on negativity for too long which is why he would hide his more somber side cause he doesn’t like burdening other people, he’ll definitely be the type to cheer others first before himself, a true sunshine. 

the scribe tells me youngjae could write a lot for his s.o, wether that’d be poetry or songs youngjae has a way with words due to his scorpio moon, leo venus and jupiter in 3rd, he’s naturally gifted with his words and loves sharing his gift with others as a form of affection. the liberator reiterates the points from the 10 of wands rx card, he’ll definitely try his best to serve others before himself and try his best to make his partner feel as comfortable as they can. the starfish card describes someone who’s uplifting, artistic and expressive, with youngjae’s chart ruler being his leo venus it’s unsurprising that he is incredibly charming and the descriptions fit him perfectly. with the jupiter card i do feel youngjae’s always looking to grow materially, emotionally and spiritually with his partner, it’s possible that he’d be the type to always think about the future and plan where he wants to go and what he wants to achieve, his love has no boundaries.

YUGYEOM🌼

IDEAL TYPE

the empress, page of swords, queen of wands, 6 of swords rx | rebel, rescuer, nightingale, house ten: structure, discipline, life mission, accomplishments and career

with the empress card, yugyeom wants a nurturer and someone who’s able to take care of him since this card describes someone who often ‘mothers’ and takes care of others because of their innate nature, i also get the feeling yugyeom wants someone more mature age-wise but most importantly emotionally and mentally. with the page of swords however, i do think yugyeom also wants someone who has a childlike wonder/spirit to them due to his gemini moon (gemini represents twins) so someone who’s able to match his level of enthusiasm/curiosity will steal his heart for sure, this card alongside yugyeom’s sagittarius mercury tells me he wants someone who’ll be able to match his humour and even poke fun as sagittarius mercuries love teasing as a form of affection. the queen of wands reiterates my point of yugyeom wanting a mature character but this also tells me yugyeom wants a partner that can hold their own and someone who people see as a leader, i also get the feeling that he’s attracted to the charismatic social butterfly types, he definitely loves an independent individual and will find them even more attractive if they have their own goals they aspire to achieve, his ideal type is someone who uses their strength and their sensitivity. the six of swords rx tells me that his ideal person is someone who has gone through lots of personal hardships and transformation, but instead of acting out of revenge and resentment they’re very gentle and always wants to protects others cause they don’t want to anyone else to experience the feelings they experienced. his ideal type is someone who has a lot of love for themselves and is always willing to give to others, someone who’s very genuine with sharing their love. 

the rebel card definitely gives me queen of wands/page of swords energy, someone who’s willing to stand out and not let have anything/anyone sway them when they have their minds set on something. the rescuer reiterates my point of someone who wants to help others without wanting anything in return, this card also makes me feel that yugyeom is very attracted to leaders and when he sees someone who’s independent yet gentle his heart swoons. the nightingale describes someone who speaks their truth and is unafraid, their way of communication is very direct but it comes from a place of kindness instead of authority. of course yugyeom and his capricorn venus would get the house ten card which is ruled by capricorn, basically reiterates all the points i made but additionally i do feel like yugyeom wants someone who’s well respected in their field, he craves stability and wants to build something with tangible his partner so he’s in it for the long ride. 

as someone who grew up with 3 capricorn venuses i can confirm that these people are more attracted to those older than them

AS A BOYFRIEND

4 of cups rx, king of cups, the magician, high priestess | damsel, companion, unicorn, capricorn: ambition, realism and methodical steps

with the 4 of cups rx i feel yugyeom has a tendency to rationalise his emotions a lot (unsurprising since his only water placement is his sun) so occasionally he might seem a tad detached in relationships, this does tell me however yugyeom often thoroughly analyses his own actions and his partner’s actions (which something cap venuses do often) and then decides on what to do next from that, due to his air moon and earth venus yugyeom’s love language can range from something more action-oriented or something more verbal. king of cups tells me yugyeom’s very mature when it comes to his emotions and has a very nice balance of logic and emotion, yugyeom’s very kind and sensitive but he’s not a pushover so he’ll definitely be the type to check up often and be there for his partner emotionally, i do see him being the type to try his best to make his partner comfortable and let them vent to him as much as they need, he definitely loves emotional intimacy and is very romantic in this sense as he wants to always make sure his partner is loved. the magician card tells me the reason why yugyeom wants someone who’s accomplished is so he can learn from them, yugyeom’s capricorn mars makes him incredibly determined towards his goals and he often feels motivated when those around him are so he’s an incredibly supportive boyfriend and will always be curious when it comes to different things he can learn from his partner. the high priestess tells me yugyeom relies a lot on intuition in relationships, his capricorn mars and venus makes him only act on a situation if he feels it’s right, once he’s committed i also feel he won’t verbalise it as much due to the fact that if he feels like he knows and his partner knows he doesn’t need to say how much he loves them. 

the damsel tells me yugyeom’s a romantic at heart and could occasionally romanticise his relationships, he could also have a tendency to want to be “saved” and rely a lot on his partner when he’s in a relationship. the companion crd does tell me though that yugyeom’s incredibly loyal, dedicateed and unselfish in relationships as once he’s committed he’ll hold on to them for as long as he can, his life can easily revolve around his relationship if he’s not careful. the unicorn describes someone who relies on their intuition a lot as they feel that often a higher power is the one that’s commanding them, i think this is also a major reason why once yugyeom’s committed he’ll do anything to make the relationship work cause his romantic nature believes in “soulmates”. the capricorn card for the capricorn mars and venus i cannot make this up lmao anyways, this basically reiterates my point of yugyeom’s level of loyalty and dedication in relationships, yugyeom only gets into relationships when he feels he and his partner are working towards a mutual goal and he will be incredibly persistent once he has his eyes set on someone and will make sure they know. 

that is all! if you have any feedback, comments, queries or requests please don’t hesitate to reach out to me my ask box is always open. sending you all love, light, positivity and abundance <3 much love

OK I just disregarded most of your last post because you know all of the pineapples. 🙃🤯🤬🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️.

But Joey and Dawson would’ve been an awful couple.

Pacey is one of the kings 👑 among men. And I’m glad they the show runner didn’t try to force Joey and Dawson together because that just didn’t follow the storyline or a go together at all in my opinion.

I thought Dawson was a whiny, spoiled little brat.

Oh, I have thoughts....

This notion that Joey and Dawson were romantic soulmates and that there would be a part of Joey that Pacey could never have was just... growing pains. Joey had an ideal version of Dawson in her head, of their relationship. A perfect picture that grew out of their childhood of what they would one day become. But that picture was never a reality because then life happens and it shapes you outside of that childhood picture you had for yourself. Dawson was a dreamer and lived in his own head all the time. Joey was to him what he wanted her to be. Not what she actually was.

I actually appreciate that Joey finally spoke this truth to Dawson in the series finale. He would always be linked to her childhood. Theirs, a relationship that would always remain pure and innocent. Because their relationship was just a romanticized vision in their heads. I can even appreciate that story had it not been for ya know.. Dawson being the worst.

Because of that idealised picture in Dawson's head, he really did spend so much time thinking he owned Joey's love, sexuality and loyality. Because how could he not? She was his soulmate. His future. Whatever happened on the way was just obstacles, right? While Dawson was living in that fantasy, Joey lived her life and had life experiences outside of Dawson's idealised version of her and their relationship. And how could Dawson possibly accept that when it wasn't even something he considered? This idealised version also lived in Joey's head, because she too believed in that picture. It was all she knew and thought she wanted. Then.. life.

Pacey wasn't even a factor in her plans. Nor in Dawson's plan. But that's why that whole triangle was fucked up. Pacey and Joey not only lived in reality, they didn't force each other to stick to a made up vision in their heads. Pacey could see Joey for what she was because he didn't paint a pretty little picture of her in his head, the way Dawson had all his life. And Joey was confused by her love and connection to Pacey, not because she didn't or couldn't love him but because it made her question her own pretty little picture in her head of her and Dawson.

That's why it was so unhealthy, really. Dawson expected Joey to love him when he wanted and needed it. Dawson forced Joey to pick between him and Pacey because he believed that was his right to do. Dawson needed to be protected from the truth that Joey lost her virginity to Pacey, because he couldn't live in a world where he was not Joey's first sexual partner. And Joey obliged him by protecting him from the truth. Even at the expense of her relationship with Pacey. Joey didn't do this because she was in love with Dawson. She did it because of their unhealthy relationship and unreasonable expectations of each other.

They kept trying to force themselves into this dream world they had made up when they were kids and the more they pushed the less it worked out. Pacey and Joey weren't in that self made "captivity". They just made their own story, outside of childhood wishful thinking. Pacey challenged Joey and forced her to grow and look beyond who she thought she was or should be. Joey offered Pacey the love and care he needed to start believing he was worthy of love. They too messed up from time to time but at least it was real. Not a idealised picture in their heads. Not a forced idea from a childhood dream.

And you know childhood friends to lovers would be wonderful.. as long as you don't keep the characters hostage. Had Dawson not acted like he owned Joey but rather grown with her, he wouldn't have been such a spoiled little brat who cried whenever Joey wasn't what he wanted her to be. And it could have worked if Joey wasn't constantly put in a position where she felt she had to protect and hide herself from Dawson in order to protect his feelings. Holding each other back, forcing each other to be something you aren't and claiming each other because of an idealised vision in your head is not romantic. That's why Dawson was the worst and why Joey was so annoying at times.

And I'm happy that was finally verbalized by the end of the show. Dawson was Joey's childhood and it would always remain there, in a pure state. Pacey was the love of her life, her romantic partner. Pacey and Joey built their relationship over time and grew together. Dawson and Joey just tried to force a picture from when they were kids but you can't fit a triangle in a square. Sometimes what we believe to be true at 10 years old, doesn't mean it's true for the rest of your life. And that was Dawson and Joey's mistake.

Actually  wanna  talk  about  some  stuff  about  William’s  life  &  the  people  in  it  rn  so  I’m  going  to  smash  out  a  big  messy  post:  

In  my  hc  Williams  mother  was  pretty  awesome,  she  was  a  single  mum  but  she  did  everything  right,  up  until  Umbrella  got  rid  of  her  so  they  could  have  total  access  to  William  since  he  was  a  minor  (14) when  they  first  contacted  her  about  him  participating  in  the  training  facility.  It  wasn’t  anything  Linda  did  wrong,  she  was  a  good  person  & did  her  best.  William  has  extremely  fond  memories  of  her. &  maybe  it  was  this  positivity  &  warmth  in  William’s  early  life  that  ‘sheltered’  him  from  becoming  the  same  breed  of  monster  that  a  lot  of  his  collages  became.  

Anyway  we  also  have  his  wife  Annette.  She  was  smart  as  hell  &  also  apparently  a  bad  ass.  A  lot  of  people  judge  Annette &  make  fun  of  her  but  like  her  motive  for  behaving  as  she  did  in  RE2,  particularly  in  the  remake,  was  because  she  was  thinking  of  the  greater  good,  not  just  of  herself.  She  is  a  very  complex  character,  she  was  wracked  with  guilt &  took  it  upon  herself  to  try & stop  G/the  spread  of  G /  the  outbreak  in  the  city  herself,  which  though  seems  kind  of  silly  from  an  outside  perspective,  is  entirely  understandable  from  HER  perspective  given  how  closely  she  worked  with  William -  like  it  does  actually  make  sense  that  Annette  would  feel  full  responsibly  for  what  was  happening  & feel  driven  above  all  to  try & stop  it. I  also  think  she  was  a  huge  factor  in  William  being  motivated  to  leave  umbrella & take  G  elsewhere.   Annette  seemed  to  be  the  “voice  of  reason”  between  them  since  William  was  so  invested  in  his  work,  another  thing  that  made  sense  given  this  had  been  an  enormous  part  of  William’s  life  since  he  was  15-16.  William  needed  that  influence,  Annette  was  really  a  lot  of  William’s  connection  with  “reality”  or  with  the  world  outside  of  Umbrella  in  a  lot  of  ways. Makes  sense  for  them  both  though  given  it  seems  the  two  of  them  didn’t  actually  intend  for  G  to  be  a  weapon.  That  seems  to  be  very  much  in  line  with  Annette’s  character.  The  two  of  them  clearly  wanted  to  be  able  to  spend  more  time  with  their  daughter  as  well.  Annette  is  the  one  who  reminds  William  how  long  hes  spending  at  the  lab &  that  Sherry  misses  him.  Honestly  the  whole  letter  is  a  pretty  good  insight  into  the  Birkin  family  &  what  was  really  going  on  with  them.  I  think  it  really  shows  how  normal  they  were  outside  of  Umbrella. Honestly  it  doesn’t  make  sense  for  Annette  or  even  William,  to  be  genuinely  evil  people  with  this  in  mind -  I  mean  the  fact  Annette  &  William  ever  had  a  relationship  with  this  in  mind  indicates  that  William  wasn’t  the  same  breed  of  megalomaniac  sociopath  as  what  is  common  in  the  series.   Annette  seemed  to  love  William  because  he  wasn’t &  they  appeared  to  share  a  vision  of  improving  the  human  race,  genuinely,  genuinely  seems  they  had  the  idea  of  ultimately  helping  all  people,  rather  than  wiping  out  select  individuals  they  didn’t  agree  with  or  who  weren't  “worthy”  of  “evolution”  & putting  themselves  as  the  rulers  of  this  ‘new  world’.  That  wasn’t  at  all  the  Birkin’s  shtick.

&  speaking  of  Sherry  herself.  Though  she  was  a  little  ‘neglected’  at  times  her  parents  clearly  both  loved  her  dearly.  Sherry  is  a  really  smart,  mature,  well  adjusted  kid  in  RE2.  I  mean  be  freshly  12   &  survive  what  Sherry  did.  She’s  not  a  child  who’s  ever  been  abused  or  who  has  not  been  treated  or  ‘raised’  right.  She  is  a  little  lonely  because  her  parents  worked  so  much  but  overall  she’s  credit  to  them &  you  don’t  often  have  a  kid  turning  out  that  way  if  you  don’t  love  it  &  nurture  it  to  some  extent.  Speaking  of  its  something  Annette  gets  mad  hate  for,  more  than  William  weirdly  enough  (  🙄 ),  this  idea  that  Annette  was  never  there  for  Sherry.  Not  true.  Out  of  the  two  of  them  shes  clearly  the  one  who  spent  most  of  the  time  with  Sherry.  Though  she  went  to  work  &  put  a  lot  of  time  into  her  work, out  of  the  two  of  them  its  obvious  Annette  is  the  one  who  went  home  at  the  end  of  the  day  &  cared  for  their  daughter.   William  was  the  one  who  worked  ridiculous  hours,  like  spending  almost  an  entire  week  at  the  NEST, without  coming  home.  He  was  also  noted  to  frequently  go  at  least  a  whole  day  without  sleep.  William  was  the  one  doing  all  the  hard  hours  at  the  lab,  away  from  Annette &  Sherry  who  were  obviously  at  home.  It  seems  Annette  only  worked  of  a  day  time &  came  home  during  the  end  of  the  day  to  obviously  look  after  Sherry.

I  also  find  it  super  funny/stupid  how  the  fandom  seems  to  pretend  that  the  Birkins  were  totally  cold  to  each  other,  with  William  being  totally  uninterested  in  Annette  who  was  just  there  because  she  couldn’t  take  a  hint  or  that   Annette  was  this  controlling  woman  &  William  was  just  her  dumb  bitch. Like  to  some  extent  maybe  but  overall  William  was  still  the  “breadwinner”  so  to  speak.  Like  what  I  think  was  common  for  most  families  during  this  time  period  William  was “the  man”  who  worked  stupid  long  hours  &  was  expected  to  handle  the  finances &  business  /  “important”  aspects  of  their  lives  &  Annette,  while  also  working  herself,  handled  the  family  aspect,  ie  raising  their  daughter  &  looking  out  for  the  welfare  of  all  of  them  ect.

Although  unlike  what  is  “expected”  of  such  a  family  I  think  Annette  did  have  a  big  influence  in  everything  because  William,  regardless  to  his  position  at  Umbrella,  respected  her  thoughts  & opinions  &  thought  she  was  fully  capable  of  making  decisions  for  them.  William  was  definitely  a  “ask  your  mother”  kind  of  guy  & I  don’t  think  he  was  doing  too  much  without  Annette’s  knowledge  or  approval  but  it  also  seems  that  was  actually  a  mutual  thing.  Annette,  apparently,  greatly  admired  William &  never  felt  he  was  incapable  of  anything  or  that  she  had  to  control  anything.  They  actually  read  to  me  as  equals  in  their  relationship,  not  one  dominating  too  extensively  over  the  other.

Also  been  meaning  to  talk  about  Wesker . .  .   I  think,  with  all  this  in  mind,  Wesker  was  probably  William’s  only &  strongest  “male”  role  model.  William  didn’t  know  his  father  &  never  really  bonded  with  any  of  his  mother’s  boyfriends.  He  doesn’t  remember  being  overly  fond  of  any  of  them  or  having  really  anything  in  common  with  any  one  of  them.   Keeping  in  mind  William  met  Albert  when  he  was  only  15  & Albert  was  17.  He  very  quickly  became  someone  William  admired  &  looked  up  to  because  he  was  just  that  ‘cool  older  guy’  that  William  was  so  alike  but  so  unalike  in  the  sense  that  while  William  was  a  little  shy  & timid,  Albert  was  confident  & collected  at  all  times,  they  were  completely  opposite  in  that  sense.  That  being  said,  its  probably  true  that  the  Albert  that  William  saw  &  who  lives  in  William’s  mind  isn’t  the  real  Albert  or  at  least  thats  not  who  he  remained.  Its  a  very  idealised  version  of  him.  One  that  was  born  of  William  knowing  him  since  they  were  basically  kids  &  being  so  close  to  him.

Which  is  why  he  does  have  trouble  believing  /  understanding  who  Albert  becomes  in  later  years.  Because  its  not  really  who  William  thought  he  was.  &  it  is  difficult  to  come  to  grips  with  that  or  understand  it  entirely.   William  &  Albert  started  to  ‘drift’  apart  during  the  “Alexia  incident”.  William  fell  into  his  depression  &  Albert  became  more  interested  in  Spencer  in  the  meantime  perhaps  as  a  distraction  for  the  ‘chaos’  Alexia’s  existence  had  caused  in  their  work  place  that  quickly  formed  into  its  own  obsession.  William  probably  always  assumed  Weskers  “odd”  behaviours  were  because  of  Alexia  as  well  as  he  didn’t  seem  too  pleased  by  her  either  but  regardless  if  Alexia  didn’t  happen  &  things  had  continued  at  the  Arkley  facility  its  possible  William  &  Annette  wouldn’t  have  happened  &  Wesker  never  would  have  became  as  focused  on  Spencer  as  he  did.  Just  seems  to  be  a  perfect  storm  of  events  to  me. 

This  is  the  time  where  everything  “changed”  between  them  &  they  began  going  “their  own”  ways.  Regardless,  William  never  stopped  thinking  of  Wesker  the  way  he  knew  him  so  knowing  Wesker  now  feels  like  an  entirely  different  person  &  it  feels  like  a  change  that  has  just  came  out  of  the  blue  for  William.  But  thats  one  of  William’s  problems.  He  doesn’t  notice  a  whole  lot  outside  of  his  little  bubble  so  when  he  does  notice  something  he  tends  to  feel  a  little  blindsided  by  it.  Again,  trying  not   to  speak  too  much  on  Weskers  POV.  I  am  majorly  speaking  about  my  own  take  on  Wesker  here  because  thats  my  default  as  I  don’t  have  one  I  write  with  or  anything.  I’ll  probably  make  a  HC  post  focused  on  him  on  my  multi  at  some  point  that  goes  into  things  a  little  more  too !  But  for  rn.  Wesker’s  probably  the  only  “negative”  influence  in  William’s  life  but  he  wasn’t  always.  Wesker  being  “evil”  is  kind  of  a  new  thing  for  William. 

OOOOOOOO! You writing for other charaters now? Cuz, here are some bois I'd like to see your take on! Pick and choose who you'd please: Zombieman, Child Emperor, Tatsumkai, Sonic, Flashy Flash, Mumen Rider, King and, (one I'd really like to see) Sweet Mask. Thanks, and happy early birthday!

Thank you~! And lmao, my birthday was like, a month ago now;; I swear my attention span is hella weak- I see a shiny thing and I 

Z I P 

Outta my work and go over to look at it for the next 3 days.

And anon… dear anon…

I will do ALL OF THEM.

MUMEN RIDER:

If I’m being honest? I honestly hated him when he was first introduced.

He cycled as fast as he could to confront the Paradisers, had a moment where he parked his bike, (a bit awkward, but I faintly enjoyed the sight) pulled off a show of confidence that implied that he knew the gravity of the situation and has a way of dealing with it effectively (the common subversive tactic: weak looking character has tremendous strength) and then got DECKED ON with one hit, showing that it was just shallow hot air he couldn’t back up.

And then he got credit for the work that Saitama did. (Albeit unintentionally.)

Not… the greatest first impression. I thought he was an overconfident guy who was playing hero, uncomprehending of the danger that he puts himself in for the sake of living in an idealised fantasy that since he’s the protagonist, since he’s the one with determination and a heart of gold, it’ll all work out. Him cycling towards the Sea King at full throttle, with him apparently not taking the hint from the Paradisers, drove that belief home to me even more.

(Wow, I sound like Garou here. :o…)

And then he launched into his spiel.

How he felt like he wasn’t good enough to take the promotion, how he knows, better than anyone, that he’s weak. That yes, he might not win- might even get killed for his fruitless efforts for it, but what matters is that he tries. Not because he feels like he can pull it off eventually, or that the monsters will submit to how ~brave~ he is, but because it’s just important to try in the face of overwhelming odds, if it means that others have a slightly better chance of surviving because of it. Willing to die just so others won’t, even when you’re dismissed as a weakling both in the present and after death.

And that made me doubt about what I thought of him.

It wasn’t until I saw him trying to convince TTM to leave Garou alone, trying to intervene when Garou attacked him, and getting his face smashed repeatedly into the concrete sidewalk for his efforts by the same man he tried to defend, that I was utterly convinced that Mumen was genuinely heroic.

This may be a little dark, but I have a feeling that Mumen’s sense of justice doesn’t entirely stem from his selfless nature, but also from feelings of worthlessness. That he goes above and beyond to be a hardworking hero because he feels he has no worth if he dares do otherwise. The Christmas extra chapter in the manga sort of sparked this belief for me. If Mumen’s sense of justice was purely selfless, he’d mention other options (e.g. Friends inviting him out, new bistro downtown, setting up a mini Christmas tree and treating himself to a nice present) and maybe consider injecting some time for himself for them, if not on Christmas day, then the day before or after. Instead, he says with a smile, that he’ll be patrolling the streets for danger with no allusion to his personal life. And that lingering suspicion still sticks to me to this day.

CHILD EMPEROR:

First impression? I didn’t think too much of him, because I didn’t have much reason to. Very little screen time in the early manga/anime didn’t get me to form much of an attachment or investment in his character.

But later on? I like him! A kid prodigy, but it’s made clear time and time again that he still has room to improve, and I’ve always been a big fan of personal growth and developing self-reflection/awareness in stories. The fact that he wasn’t a stuck-up brat who thought he knew everything, and (taking into account that he’s literally 10 years old) still had a great deal of growth ahead of him in terms of the technological and the personal…

Yeah. I’m definitely holding out my hope for seeing a side story dedicated to him.

If I had the luck to choose the idea for the plot, I would love to see what sparked his love for technology, his mishaps and successes and so-so’s when it came to developing his skills and his gadgets. I want to be able to see the people around him reacting with awe and confusion over this kid hurriedly drawing up complex diagrams on a chalkboard board for different ideas before they leave his mind, which gadgets he’s put the most work in, the most time on, and is proud of, and finally; if he had a snobby phase and is ashamed of it. Bonus points if he took a break from his work to read up on how to be more like a mature adult so that older people will take him more seriously outside of being an inventor.

SONIC:

I, uh… honestly don’t think too much of him? He never really stuck with me.

Conversely… I do, however, like the few times we get the spotlight shined on him. He’s a badass to watch, and I laughed and cringed when the infamous ‘accidental punch’ scene came up on my screen. Considering the fact that I watched the anime first before the manga, I wasn’t anticipating it at all.

Which makes me glad in this case! The animated scene feels way more impactful and memorable than the manga version. I felt the build up and the rapidly increasing dread rise in me as I saw Saitama’s fist slowly punch Sonic’s unmentionables. Animating the- ahem- impact of his punch done me in and seared that scene into my mind.

Hmm… I feel like Sonic’s a more rebellious version of Flash, whilst also having been influenced by him. The both of them enjoy taking care of themselves in more luxurious ways, with their glossy hair and refusal to be filthy or rough in any way (e.g. Flash taking good care of his hair in the shower, Sonic opting to cook the monster cells and serve them tastefully before eating them) but I feel like Sonic likes rebelling more outwardly towards how he’s been trained and conditioned as a ninja compared to Flash. He just gives off that vibe~

Expanding on that, I feel like he’s more self-reflective and subtle in his thoughts. Flash is sort of absorbed in his own business and narrow range of experiences (not that I’m blaming him: he’s a busy man) while Sonic is more rooted to reality, and is a little more mellowed out to show for it. In the audio CDs, he gains a new understanding of what Saitama is forced to go through and respects him more as a person than just a milestone to beat, and he overcomes his trauma of Saitama ‘punching him’ by accepting what happened and simply keeping the possibility of it happening again in mind; not to torture himself or blame himself for being ‘weak,’ but to acknowledge what he’s fearful of and accepting it, allowing him to move on.

FLASHY FLASH:

I was gunning hard for him to be a cold-blooded woman assassin who wants to look elegant and deadly at the same time. Femme fatale, minus the seduction.

I was a little disappointed when he turned out to be a guy, and more so when he riled up Metal Bat with his insults while telling them to cut it out (counter intuitive, but it wouldn’t have been so bad if I wanted to see that. But I didn’t want to see it so lmao-) so, apart from his cool character design, I was a little turned off in my investment in him.

I was hoping that they kept the name ‘Lightspeed Flash’ instead of Flashy Flash. Yes, I know that they’re pretty much the same in terms of meaning, but the former just sounds more dignified. Considering he’s a man who takes himself seriously in both his work and appearance, I feel like it’s more in character for him to suggest a hero name that sounds more impressive, but still shows that sort of silliness underneath when you look closely.

He gained back some of my respect for him when he directly told Tatsumaki off for stealing his kill and talking down on him. That takes mad guts and I was wondering which of the heroes are willing to risk a serious fight with her to prove that they’re not one to be trifled with.

(Metal Bat was a little different in that regard: at the time, I just saw him as another affectionate parody of the delinquent trope. Nice contrast to the rest of the older, calmer heroes, but a little generic.)

Flashy Flash… yeah. I feel like he’s willfully disconnected himself from the world both emotionally and socially. Not because he’s afraid, but because he thinks it’s useless. He’s already seen the worst of it thanks to his upbringing, so there’s no point in putting in effort to go out and explore just to discover what else is wrong with the world.

I also think that, like Tatsumaki, he feels more than competent on his own and believes doesn’t need any outside help or interference. Hence, anyone who doesn’t meet his personal standards immediately has their opinions and suggestions of him dismissed or not truly considered with respect. He thinks he knows what’s best, even when there’s opinions screaming that he’s not, because he doesn’t respect others that way.

KING:

OOF- Okay, I was actually pretty ambivalent about him.

I thought he was cool when he intimidated the Tongue monster into submission, then thought he was an egotistical, vain hero when confronted by the G4 monster, then thought he was a pitiful, cowardly man forced to flee out of necessity, and then thought he was an endearing puppy when he realized just who Saitama is to him.

And. Hm.

King is… a very genuine man. I like him. Like Mumen Rider, he’s willing to put himself on the line to protect others. What makes me a little conflicted is if he’s more, the same, or less heroic than Mumen.

More: He has absolutely nothing to defend himself with in terms of physical skills or strength. His luck is his only maxed out stat in the hero game he’s obliged to play, and he’d rather be left alone, but he still puts his life on the line to help others, even when he’s scared witless.

Less: He does have his awe inspiring, fear inducing reputation that can neutralise the monster threats more often than not, and is aware of this, using it to his advantage. So maybe he’s a little less courageous since he knows it will work in his favour more often than not.

My take on him…  King strikes me as a good man. In a normal, monsterless world, he won’t be the kind who’ll fearlessly charge into battle against terrorists, or pull off any awe inspiring feats by himself by passing life saving legislations; this man isn’t interested in grand scale heroics and would rather support those who are interested and are good at it.

No, King strikes me as a man who wants to keep to himself and offer his sincere help to those who manages to become good friends with this shy man. He may be quaking in his boots at imminent danger, but he’ll still try to stand up for what’s right when someone else is being taken advantage of, even if he’s not entirely sure of what he’s doing.

AMAI MASK:

(RECENT WEBCOMIC SPOILERS!!)

I never cared much for Amai until now.

I can’t imagine anything more devastating than working yourself down to the bone to protect and give people hope, to cultivate others into what it means to be a true hero, only to realize the people you worked so hard for was just as hideous as you used to be. This man worked so hard, and him protecting the people he cared about wasn’t enough to deter them from reacting with horror and disgust. It wasn’t even five minutes until the first of his ungrateful ‘fans’ tried stoning him.

Thank God Saitama intervened… the look on his face after he was called a cool guy was both ugly cute and heart wrenching. He may have been called dreamy or inspirational by the adoring masses, but being broken down to the very thing that you’ve been ashamed and fearful of your entire life, and still having someone who sees you as someone worthwhile must’ve meant the world to Amai. He’s a monster, yes, but he kept a vice grip on his morals and never let them go, even when his grip on them was weakening with every breath he took.

I also liked the way that ONE written his rise to fame. The build-up and anticipation surrounding how he looked behind the mask, Amai himself being bitter over the vanity of the public, learning to accept it, and gradually became obsessed with embodying the symbol of justice- this time, where everyone can see it. But it wasn’t on his own terms, no; instead of being seen as the ugly but virtuous man before, he has to present himself as a handsome idol, instead of being loved and revered for who he truly is; ugly and all. That it’s not a defect.

And I felt pity for him when I realized that’s what happened.

My opinion and takes (interpretations) of him? He’s interesting, to put it lightly.

If I think more on it, I feel like he’s losing himself to his delusions. It’s ironic: someone focusing on saving the hearts of others, yet all they can see is themselves.

True to the series, Amai reminds me of Genos. Of what Genos would’ve turned out to be if he was kept alone with no one he can truly connect with. No one who can remind him of the sweeter things in life that don’t matter. No one you have a personal, deep connection with to return home to.

Amai strikes me as a man who’s so focused on eliminating evil that he sees it everywhere, no matter how small or large it is, or if it even exists. If someone doesn’t live up to his standards or sees what he sees, he immediately has this sort of insurmountable, unseen distance from them that can’t be easily crossed.

In all honesty, I’m intrigued and worried for him. Part of my indulgent ideas for him is that he’s slowly starting to hallucinate and had started monsterize from the inside for a long, long while, and it’s only by the Association’s dependence on him and his adoring fans that keeps preserving the man that he used to be when he was purely heroic, but hideous. And even then, it’s not enough.

I feel like he’s painted himself in a corner where he feels it’s too late to try and get help for his condition, instead desperately searching for someone who can take his place. He knows how important a symbol is, and if he had the choice, would keep it up as long as he lives, but his passion for it isn’t enough to drive off what he’s becoming.

And he was right.

ZOMBIEMAN:

I may have done Zombieman already, but I also realise that I’ve missed out on some things that I wanted to include~

In contrast to Amai, Zombieman strikes me as the type of guy who’s a sort of ‘Frankenstein’s Monster’ character. Unlike the book character, Zombieman is in a society that accepts, reveres, and adores him for all he does despite his questionable history and to what degree he is ‘human.’ He doesn’t seem to believe that what he is makes up for who he is, and anyone who thinks otherwise will earn his ire; but again, like Frankenstein’s monster, he knows it’s a part of him, and that it’s still a source of discomfort for him. He needs to get that skeleton out of his closet for him to truly enjoy life.

TATSUMAKI:

Honestly, I didn’t notice too much of her character until much, much later in the manga. Prior to that, I admired her ability to take care of the worst threats by herself. Soloist heroes and protagonists were always a soft spot of mine: learning to handle the worst of what life had to throw at you and being good at it, but not necessarily good at taking care of your emotional and mental wellbeing, confiding in others about that, and showing that it’s okay to be vulnerable or lost or flawed, and endeavoring to fix that?

Yesss. Good trope. One of my favorites.

So, what finally caught my attention from her?

Her fight with Psykos.

I was sort of seething with the way Psykos was chilling smugly in her underground lair. Her plan was smart, but the way she was so self-assured and the way she thinks she’s above others; human and monster alike, sipping wine all the while?

That irritated me a lot.

So, to see Tatsumaki rip her from her cozy room and into the fray of the battle, coercing her into spilling intel by twisting her limbs and body each and every way to force it out, and striking fear into her heart with that sadistic, predatory smile of hers?

I loved it. Whoo!

As for takes… I’m not sure if I have any on her to be honest! At least, not one that isn’t already canon. She believes that you shouldn’t rely on others to become strong, or to save you, and has lived up to that idea by herself. She can back up her words and I admire that.

I do feel a little sorry for her, considering what she’s gone through. As much as I agree with her, sometimes she can take it too far.

I was a little irked by her showing little to no concern for shielding her team mates from getting crushed underneath the rubble of a building, with Darkshine stepping in to protect them, but I suppose she had a point; you have to take care of yourself on the battlefield.

Still; her total lack of concern left me a little perturbed.

This was curbed a bit by her refusing to uproot the association until she knew Tareo was safe; I feel like that added more character to her in the manga, as opposed to the webcomic.

In conclusion: All of these characters are good. UoU! Murata and One are great writers, and they made them feel fleshed out and distinct from each other in almost every way possible whilst keeping them believable. And I love them for it. :3

Scourge the Hedgehog: The Bad Fanfic Apotheosis

Y’all are gonna hate me for this one.

This is something of a followup to my previous post, Fiona Fox: Depth vs. Prominence, and inspired directly by the discussion I had with a friend in the comments section of the DA upload of it.

Part 1: Fanfic vs. Canon- Genesis of the Recolour Elements of the Archie Sonic the Hedgehog comic have long been compared to a bad fanfiction, particularly the parts of the story written by Ken Penders, though other writers like Bollers, Chacon, and Flynn have drawn that label too. I'm one of the people that's done it, and that's largely because I hold fanfic and official material to very different standards. There are certain things you can do in fanfic that you can't do in official material, especially with franchises like Sonic, and especially with more niche parts of said franchise, like a comic series. Of course, there are also certain things you can do in both, but you probably shouldn't. And Scourge is one of them. What exactly the process behind Scourge's creation was is something that's been debated. For a lot of people, he's considered to be a parody of the then-rampant "Sonic Recolour" fad, wherein fans would take screenshots of Sonic X, and other official artwork, and then edit it in Microsoft Paint, or another similar program, to create their own characters and stories. Now, this was long decried by other fans, myself included, as incredibly lacking in creativity and originality. It also had an "Ew, cringe" reaction, due to the often-shoddy editing, text-to-speech voices, and usually some top-tier mid-2000s Nu Metal for the music. These days, it's much easier to look back and say "These were mostly made by kids who were just having fun, and it's completely harmless", and it becomes apparent that a lot of the people that were making fun of them and criticising them were grown men, at which point you kinda realise that this "internet fad" was basically just bullying a bunch of children for not being up to the creative standards of some adults. Everybody was looking for the next Chris-Chan, but Chris-Chan is a near-unique entity, as only one other person alive has ever managed to combine that sheer void of talent with a monumentally repulsive personality, and that person is Ken Penders. But Sonichu is the least interesting thing about Chris, and Chris became the laughingstock that he is because of his inability to avoid posting his entire life on the Internet, which was something of a rarity in those halcyon days before the rise of modern social media. Sonichu was a gateway to the actually interesting content also on his channels, whereas these recolour-creators didn't have anything like that, just endless Windows Movie Maker slideshows. And, like, Chris was in his 20s when he became the Internet's punching bag for the first time, and while he's a horrible person, so were the people that dedicated their time and effort to trolling him- His story is fascinating, but it has no heroes. And into this collective cocktail of grown men shitting on preteens, so Ian Flynn introduced Scourge the Hedgehog. Is Scourge a parody of Sonic recolours? I sincerely hope not. The reason for that is twofold, and I'll discuss how his portrayal generally doesn't seem to be mocking those tropes further down the page, but the second issue with the idea that he is a parody is best explained by Sir Terry.

Parody can never punch down, and as a then-24 year old man writing official canon for a franchise, mocking a bunch of 10 year olds on the Internet for making bad stories would definitely be punching down. And, as I said, nothing about the way Scourge is written is in any way poking fun at the tropes of these fancharacters and stories. It's pretty much all played completely straight. So not only do I hope Ian wasn't trying to mock these fancharacters, but there's also little reason to believe that he actually was.   He's not a parody, he is a send-up. And on the one hand, it's kinda nice to throw a bone to those kids. But on the other hand... is Scourge really the character you want to represent your part of the fandom in official material? A cruel, violent, abusive, vicious monster that spends his time palling around with a girlfriend that the writer reforged to be the most unlikable character in the entire comic? Yeah, can't say that's what I'd want if I were one of those people, but he seems to be popular enough, so maybe I'm in the minority there. But now we get to the meat of the problem. You see, the way Scourge is written is one of those things that you can do in fanfic, but you shouldn't do in canon. Part 2: What is a Mary-Sue? The term "Mary-Sue" gets thrown around a lot these days. It's gradually lost all meaning, and has slowly become a term for "Female character that I don't like," mainly used by whiny, easily-offended Broflake Youtubers, who get all pissy that Star Wars films aren't specifically catering to them, to the point that you only have to make a girl be good at something in a movie and these pissbabies lose their shit. I liked Episode VII and VIII more than I, II, or VI, get fucked. But what, then, is a Mary-Sue? And why is it relevant to Scourge? The answer to that first question is a lot more complicated than it might seem. Not just because there are now several different varieties of the trope, but also because the trope itself evolved as it began to be applied to non-fanworks, and additionally because the name itself is somewhat non-indicative. A male Mary-Sue can exist, though these are normally referred to as "Marty-Stue" or "Gary-Stue", or more cynically "The Protagonist". Check out the average Batman comic these days and you'll see what I mean. Originally, the term applied only to a self-insert character in a fanfic, that was an overly-idealised version of the author, dramatically overpowered, hugely popular, normally dating whichever member of the cast the author wanted to bone, or sometimes multiple partners at the same time, along with a few other traits. It's actually pre-Internet term, originating in a Star Trek fanzine when "Mary-Sue" was created as a parody of other fans' similar characters. Over time, the trope evolved to the point that, while the "author avatar" feature is still a pretty big indicator, it's not really necessary. So while there are probably plenty of people out there who want to be Batman, not every character that is a Mary-Sue is someone for the author to project themselves onto, and not every author avatar is a Mary-Sue. Generally, the important features of a Mary-Sue are now: 1) Receives a great deal of favouritism from the author 2) More powerful than the rest of the cast, often to the point of absurdity 3) Faces zero consequences for their actions. 4) Liked by characters that have no reason to do so 5) In a relationship with a character that has no reason to date them, previous relationships be damned. 6) Most importantly, the story will bend over backwards to give them easy wins, even in situations where they logically should struggle. You're probably starting to get where I'm going with this, and if you're not... Part 3: Creator's Pet Scourge is a Creator's Pet. He gets shown a fair bit of favouritism from Ian Flynn, primarily the guise of how much focus he gets. Scourge is the most prolific villain in Ian's run, aside from Eggman himself. While other, better villains like Mogul and Naugus were being imprisoned repeatedly until one retired and the other became a dog, and a huge chunk of the comic's remaining antagonists were being subsumed into the Eggman Empire, Scourge was only moving up, not only being the villain of Ian's first two issues on the book, but continuing to make sporadic appearances for the next twenty issues, before appearing as the new leader of the Destructix under Finitevus in the Enerjak Reborn arc, followed swiftly by a stint as the Big Bad in Bold New Moebius. Does he actually deserve this level of importance? You be the judge, but personally, I don't think so. Even within those stories, Scourge gets special treatment, the biggest and most obvious being Metal Scourge. Now, personally, I think Metal Scourge was a better character than Scourge himself, but the fact that, of all people, Scourge got a Metal counterpart before anyone else, including Knuckles, who had such a counterpart in the games for over a decade by that point.  Especially since, well... Metal and Mettle is a fun story, but it doesn't really do anything for Bold New Moebius as a whole, does it? It's basically pure filler, only really serving to add another dead Metal Sonic to Ian's list and stall the plot out for a bit longer. And, of course, the most clear indicator of Scourge's favouritism is that he was he first Archie character to receive his own Sonic Universe arc, and the only one to do so without needing two or three SEGA characters also making up the rest of the lead cast. "Lockdown" isn't a particularly good story, but its existence speaks to not just the insane popularity that such an unworthy character received, but also Archie's willingness to indulge that. Sonic Universe was largely intended to tell stories revolving around the members of the SEGA cast that, for whatever reason, weren't able to regularly appear in the main book. This... frequently got broken, with Sonic, Tails, Sally, Bunnie, Antoine, and Amy all taking centre-stage in the book before obvious candidates like the Chaotix got a look in, some of them twice over, but Scourge was the only time they were willing to try a story based entirely around one of their characters, and they gave it to the already extremely prominent Scourge. It's pretty clear that Ian loved using this character, and did so as much as possible. YMMV on whether that's good or not. Part 4: Scourge OP plz nerf Let's be real, he's overpowered as fuck. Now, overpowered characters aren't necessarily bad, but it's significantly harder to write an OP character than an on-average one, and Scourge didn't work out so well. From the moment he turns green, he's basically unstoppable. The one time he actually seems to remotely struggle is actually in 161, where he looks ever-so-slightly winded after curbstomping Sonic and Shadow at the same time. From then on, while he does start to slowly even out with Sonic, he also continues to utterly demolish basically everyone else, especially his easy conquest of Moebius. It's been suggested that conquering Moebius should be easy, because the big threats are all good, kind people there, but that somewhat ignores that there are anti-versions of the heroes kicking about too. All the (Mostly) benevolent rulers of the Primeverse should be tyrannical despots there, and there are excessively powerful entities like the Anti-versions of Merlin and the Guardians, not to mention whatever horrors Anti-Gerald would've unleashed on the world, and that's without the Suppression Squad themselves. While the comic has generally treated Sonic as being able to stomp the entire rest of the FF, well, who says it has to be a fight? Why the fuck doesn't Patch just poison him? I mean, the obvious answer is "Because then Bold New Moebius won't have a main villain", and sometimes contractual villain immortality has to be a thing, but a good writer should be able to avoid putting the characters in that position. Following on from that, Scourge gets to fight basically the entire FF and Suppression Squad at the same time, (Sonic and Amy are absent and Fiona is on his side), and he's winning until Sonic shows up. Then directly after that is the hedgehog brawl, and despite Sonic managing to get everyone against Scourge, he easily manages to escape and break out his Super form. Even after spending his time in the No-Zone completely powerless, Scourge manages to break out the moment he gets his powers back, despite the prison being full of characters who should be equally or more powerful than him, and the police force that caught them all, basically unchallenged. Scourge never faces an actual challenge in the comic. He never struggles, and the one time he actually loses? Ian makes up some new lore on the spot, which is contradictory to SEGA lore from the same year, and then uses that to have Sonic trick Scourge into depowering himself. Not only does Scourge never struggle with anything, but he also never actually loses a fight. Part 5: When will you learn, that your actions have consequences?! Probably never, because Scourge's actions never have consequences. Throughout his entire run, Scourge gets to go wherever he wants, do what he wants, with or to whomever he wants, and he never has to deal with the fallout of the decisions he makes. Absorbs the energy of a matter world into his antimatter body? He's better than fine, it only made him stronger. Turns up in Knothole with his secret girlfriend's hated arch rival by his side? Never mentioned again. Blows Fiona's connection to him, costing Finitevus' operation a potential spy in Knothole, where Knuckles is? Not even considered a factor. Ditches Finitevus to go and make Moebius into an egopolis? Finitevus isn't bothered, and supports Fiona's efforts to rescue him later down the line after than plan backfired on him. Blinds Patch in one eye out of jealousy/spite? The guy that poisoned Armand and Max, took a torch to Antoine's personal life, took advantage of Sally's frayed mental state, emotionally damaged Bunnie, and tried to assassinate Elias to get what he wanted lets him get away with it. Openly announces that he's going to destroy both worlds? Conveniently does it when he's alone with Sonic so nobody can tell Fiona what she's letting herself in for. He eventually does get sent to jail, but he breaks out with ease the next time he turns up. Because, y'know, that's just what we want to see. Villains never having to deal with karma. Part 6: What does anyone see in him? Scourge doesn't quite get the "everyone loves him" treatment, but he still gets a whole lot more respect than he's ever earned. Both Sonic and Zobotnik are portrayed arbitrarily deciding that maybe there's a shred of good in this monster, and this is the part where I stress that he's abusive again. Maybe if I repeat that enough it'll sink in. Despite knowing full-well the sort of person Scourge is, Sonic's response to Scourge's crappy cribbing of the "One Bad Day" speech is to try and turn it around and claim that Scourge only needs a tiny bit of decency to be a good person, and this is outright untrue, and given what we see of Scourge later, I'm frankly disgusted that Ian tried to pull this with a character he'll pretty much unambiguously portray as an abuser. Zobotnik's case is even more baffling. We're introduced to the guy in the Lockdown arc, and it's implied that he's effectively a tyrannical warden, ruling over the No-Zone with an iron fist, taking an almost sadistic delight in punishing the inmates. But yet, for whatever reason, he decides that it's a good idea to try and rehabilitate Scourge, for no adequately established reason. Even on the other side of the morality line, we have Finitevus, who apparently respects Scourge enough to not just make him leader of the Destructix during the Enerjak Reborn arc, despite him very clearly not being a leader, and not being liked by any of his comrades except Fiona, but then when he promptly ditches the whole plan toward the end, Finitevus apparently decides that he not only wants to get him back, but is willing to go to great lengths and risk losing the only team of mercenaries dumb enough to work for a guy who is quite open about his intentions to "purify the world with Chaos fire" in order to do it. And speaking of, the most egregious case of this comes again in Lockdown, where the Destructix all end up siding with Scourge. Across the second half of the arc, Scourge learns his new team's backstories, and despite them clearly showing traits and beliefs that should make them respect him less, this somehow works in his favour, and he manages to wrest leadership of the team from Fiona. Especially galling is that it appears that Fiona loses their respect early on because of her faith in Scourge, who to them, looks pathetic, but then they end up supporting him anyway, despite doing nothing to earn it. But wait, one's missing... Looks like it's that time again. Part 7: Oh right, he's an abuser. It's time to talk about Fiona. Fiona's heel turn is really, really effective at selling you on the idea that Fiona is a vile, cruel, and selfish person. It's a dramatic, "big bang" moment that, in basically a single panel, got an entire fandom to hate a character. Now for some it was more of a "Love to hate" thing, but there are plenty of people out there who just really hate Fiona for this single moment. And when you're introducing a new major villain, maybe that's what you want to accomplish. What it doesn't do, however, is sell you on her motives for taking that course of action. Fiona, for the rest of her existence, mainly antagonises Sally, whom she has no worthwhile connection to on either side of her turn, other than being the evil  Sally to Scourge's Evil Sonic, and stands around or clings to Scourge's arm, looking smug about her abusive relationship. And yes, it is abusive, verbal abuse is still abuse, and the implications that he's physically abusive are present too. I know this is something that Scourge's fans don't really want to accept, but it's true, and we're going to get into that later. For now, what matters is that this character's run as a villain mainly consists of: Fiona: "Hey Sugar-Queen, look at how much my boyfriend yells at me and insults me, and probably beats me when he's angry. I make smart decisions and you suck." We never come to understand why this character, who is so motivated by her belief that everyone will eventually double-cross her that she has decided to start lashing out at people before they can turn on her, is willing to put her faith 100% in someone so repeatedly deceptive that he first approached her by pretending to be someone else. Like, in terms of bad first impressions, that's up there with arriving at a job interview in full clown regalia. The comic makes no effort to show why these characters like each other. Scourge allegedly likes her because she chooses to turn evil and join him, rather than being born evil, but this clashes with not only the fact that Fiona is a genuinely good person before this, who makes a solid effort to stay loyal to her friends first, and is lured into villainy by him, but also the fact that she blames everyone but herself for her current situation, but especially with the fact that all of the foreshadowing for Fiona turning evil consists of people not trusting her because she has a shady history. Scourge claims to appreciate that Fiona is a good person that chooses to be evil, but the narrative has a clear message of "If you started evil, it doesn't matter if you try to become good, you will always revert to type." Which isn't exactly a good message, Ian. In return, all we get from Fiona's side is that Scourge "has no expectations of her and just wants to have fun", which clashes entirely with how we see them interact in subsequent arcs, where Fiona frequently looks disturbed or apprehensive, or just bored, while Scourge yells at her and threatens her for not meeting his standards. Seriously, why do people ship this? But okay, okay. Scourge is a good liar, and Fiona's established paranoia and history do make her vulnerable to manipulators like him, so maybe she falls for his lies and gets taken for a ride. That could happen, sure. Doesn't really explain why she becomes a horrendous person all of a sudden, but whatever. Maybe he convinced her to do it as a sort of hazing, and a means of ensuring she couldn't go back. That fits with his abusive nature (You might also notice that this the explanation I used in Revival). But why does she stay? And why does she refuse every out she's given? Why, after everything that pulled her to his side has turned out to be bullshit, does she remain devoted to him? Now, you can argue that due to the abuse and the manipulation she's suffered, she believes she has to stay with him, and that's a fair shout, but her appearance in Journey to the East is kind of a stumbling block for that theory, because we're shown a Fiona who is fully capable of functioning without him, and even after making efforts to establish herself... the next time we see her she's gone back for him. And now... well, it's time to talk about that "A" word I've been bringing up a lot in this section. Scourge is abusive. I've frequently referenced that he verbally abuses Fiona every time she displeases him across the book, but the most telling scene is this one from Issue 190.

"You do not want to be sent back with me." Translation: "If I get sent back, and you're sent back too, I'm going to beat the shit out of you." Fiona (With her invisible left arm) isn't excluded from this threat. Fiona isn't surprised by this threat either. Nor does she not take the threat seriously. She looks like she's expecting to be struck. He beats her. And please, nobody say that "he's just angry", that's apologism. Now, I dunno if this was in the script, or if Fiona's face was something Yardley did on his own, but given that this arc ends with Super Scourge announcing his intention to destroy both Mobius and Moebius, simply because he can, regardless of the collateral, I'm willing to bet that this relationship wasn't a happy, stable one. But, unfortunately, this element was never made clear enough. Now, your mileage may vary on whether you think Sonic the Hedgehog comics are the appropriate place to discuss abusive relationships or not, but we've got one now, and Ian dropped the ball. This wasn't a Joker/Harley, where the pairing was clearly abusive but also sold DC/Warner millions of dollars worth of merch, this wasn't a RWBY, where Adam took three years to show up and had already won a huge number of fans from his admittedly cool design and powers, so people already liked him before they even knew what his personality was like. Ian had full control over this, no merch to worry about, and Scourge's prolific appearances gave him plenty of opportunity to make it clear that this was an ugly, repulsive thing that Fiona needed to get out of ASAP. And he didn't. Because panels like this, and all the yelling, clearly weren't enough for the fandom. No, you point this detail out to them and they'll make excuses, try to pretend it didn't happen, or just get offended, or worst of all, outright say they don't care and still ship it. We have fanartists who became real official artists creating stories where this garbage-fire pairing is used for sad feels, not because Fiona got stuck in a relationship with a controlling, violent monster, but because oh no they really loved each other and now Fiona's dead isn't it tragic don't you feel sorry for Scourge? No. No I don't. I feel sorry for the thousands of teenagers who support an abusive relationship because Ian was too cowardly to make it clear that the relationship in question was just that. Now, do I think that Ian is an intentional abuse apologist? No. Do I think he wimped out of taking the necessary steps to make it clear that this was bad because he didn't want people to dislike his shitty pet villain? Oh yeah, I do. Scourge's reputation was more important to Flynn than appropriately and sensitively portraying a destructive, damaging relationship between a woman and her monstrous partner. Well, I say "Woman", let's not forget that Fiona was meant to be sixteen, and realistically if you take her timeline into account she's more likely to be about fourteen. Real fucking classy. Part 8: Effort? What effort? So, now we get to our final criteria. And frankly, it's the easiest one to cover. From the moment, Scourge turns green, his life becomes a cakewalk. Everything he ever wants is handed to him with zero actual struggle on his part. Wants to be stronger than Sonic? He is. Zero side-effects to using a Chaos energy form from a mirror universe, or having a Super transformation interrupted, he just seemingly gets to be half-Super forever. Wants another leg-up on Sonic? Here's Fiona, sans personality. Sonic says he's just a lame ripoff of himself? He conquered a planet in a week, look at how cool he is. Also his team all roll over and make him their leader even though they hate him and they could easily kill him. He gets to walk through the entire FF/Squad teamup, and the Hedgehog teamup, and then when he gets to the No-Zone, Zobotnik, who has kept far smarter and more dangerous characters locked up for decades arbitrarily decides to reform him and gets completely suckered by him. The Destructix fully throw in with him, despite him never actually earning their respect. He never loses a fight where he wasn't depowered first. You know what the irony of this is? Ian has a character whom he is contractually obligated to never have lose for longer than an issue or two. And honestly, he wasn't awful at disguising that. Sonic gets a few wins that feel too easy, but for the most part, the issues with this rule mainly manifest in Sonic's limp responses to the tragedies happening around him, and a sprinkling of minor failures and pyrrhic victories ensure that the rule looks more like shoddy writing in a few places unless you're explicitly told about it. And even then, he still manages to make it look like Sonic struggles to attain those victories, that he has to actually put his back into it every time. He is challenged. Scourge isn't allowed to be challenged. That's the irony. Ian has a protagonist who he is not allowed to have lose, and Sonic still manages to be avoid looking like a boring invincible hero, while Scourge just never faces anything that can actually pose a threat to him. Powerful opponents crumple before him. Characters' personalities and development shift to suit his needs. The plot warps to benefit him. Because heaven forbid Scourge actually have to work for his wins. Who needs stakes when you can have the writer on your side! Part 9: In summation... I think you should've all twigged where this is going by now, so let's wrap up. 1) Does Scourge receive a great deal of favouritism from the author? Yes. 2) Is Scourge more powerful than the rest of the cast, often to the point of absurdity? Yes. 3) Does Scourge face zero consequences for his actions? Yes. 4) Is Scourge liked or respected by characters that have no reason to do so? Yes. 5) Is Scourge in a relationship with a character that has no reason to date him? Yes. 6) Most importantly, does the story will bend over backwards to give Scourge easy wins, even in situations where he logically should struggle? Yes. According to these criteria, Scourge the Hedgehog is almost a textbook example of a Mary-Sue. Which is probably why something as disgusting as him got away with so much. I guess, then, that his role in Revival, and a lot of the stuff before that, is the unfortunate reality of a Mary-Sue who suddenly has to deal with the fact that they're no longer getting that special treatment from the writer. That now their actions have consequences, that now the universe doesn't shape itself to their desires.

How to Work From Home With Little Kids

Wow – how things have changed lately. Without going on too much about all the negative things about COVID-19 – I know we all know it by now! – what it means for a lot of people is that we are working from home… and many of us with children home too.

For me, having to stay home with the kids because of coronavirus doesn’t really feel like a huge change or adjustment, more like a sort of resigned return to the familiar. I’ve worked from home for ten years now, and five of those have been with kids. So lately life sort of feels like a surreal version of school summer holidays, one without playdates and play centres and playgrounds and outings and the usual distractions I would ordinarily try to busy our days with.

Both kids have been coping better than I had thought they would (so far). Little Nerd, who is almost five, was disappointed when I said he wouldn’t be going to pre-school any more, which he loves, but he’s been good.

It was harder with Miss Nerd – but more for us than for her, I think. She is 18 months old now, and she had FINALLY got a two-day-a-week place in daycare two months ago. We were loving having more structure and kid-free time in our routine (me especially, as it made work so much easier) and then she finally got to that sweet spot where those heart-wrenching teary drop-offs were subsiding. She started to get excited about going and now she’s not going any more – that is hard. It’s a bummer but it is what it is. I’ve been trying to look on the bright side of the situation, because what else can you do? I think about things I’m grateful for – how lucky are we to have a big, messy garden (I’ve never been so grateful for all these weeds to pull up before!) our cubby house, two happy healthy kids, nice weather, things to paint, nature reserves to walk the dog, birds (little things can be big things). Working from home.

I’ve worked from home since I ‘fell into’ freelance when I was 23. I had a job at a couple of magazines, which I initially loved, then began to hate. I felt really depressed there and had already been job-hunting for a couple of months. I was going to wait to leave until I had something else to move onto, but then one day I ended up snapping at the CEO and quit on the spot without giving it more than about two seconds thought other than knowing I was done. It felt like the BIGGEST weight off my shoulders. I was already freelancing on the side while I worked at the magazines, and decided to pick up more freelance feature writing while I continued to look for another full-time job. I got so much freelance work that I realised I could write full-time. A year later, I backpacked around Europe with my best friend and then I bought the house.

Sometimes I think ‘Ten years of freelance… that’s embarrassing.’ That’s a lot of alone time and conversations with my dog that I often muse have probably stunted my emotional maturity and made me (more) weird. But the introverted part of me really enjoys working from home and the quiet. I like the work-life balance, not being stuck in traffic, the flexibility working from home affords. There are cons, but there are so many pros.

For a good few years, my daily freelance schedule would usually go like this: I’d wake at 7.30, perhaps 8. I’d make my bed, breakfast and coffee, and shuffle to my desk overlooking the garden, where I’d sip coffee and answer emails in my pyjamas, then shower and get ready for my morning house walkthrough, if I had an appointments day. To avoid getting stuck in morning traffic, I’d only time all my appointments to be from 10am onwards. If I had a writing day, I’d write stories until 11am, then change into my exercise clothes and take Nala for a run. Come home, shower, make lunch. Evening – knock off at 5.30, take Nala to the dog park. Come home, cook dinner and watch a movie with Mr Nerd. Or I’d get ready to go out for dinner and a drink with a friend, then do a little bit more writing before bed. Or I’d go to indoor beach volleyball, or perhaps a Zumba class. The evening was my oyster.

And then I had kids.

Working from home with little kids is possibly one of the biggest PAINS IN THE ARSE you could experience. (I try not to swear on my blog, otherwise I would have used a choice swear word there).

But trying to be productive and lucrative while you have a really small, irritating version of yourself glued to your side asking inane questions or doing destructive things can be almost impossible.

I think most parents will understand that feeling when they’ve finally settled the baby down for a nap and thought, “Right! Now I can quickly get to x,” only to have the baby declare catnapping is trendy and wake just 20 minutes later, spoiling all your plans. Or maybe you’ve felt the fatigue as you’re typing a Very Important Email while gritting your teeth at the 498th, “Hey, Mummy…?” of the day. Or perhaps you could just about cry because it seems like your children are diabolical, deliberating trying to sabotage your career… surprisingly, they’re not. But it feels like they are.

Doing a job with kids at home is bloody HARD. No matter how organised I try to be, every day, there are still tasks I need to do, emails to be answered or calls to return, that require focused time at my desk, ideally without bloodcurdling screams and wails in the background. My husband is often on work trips, so I’ve always been extremely grateful to my mum, who helps me out a LOT with the kids, not to mention family, aunties and aunty-figures who also give me a hand. I have a lot of help. I also have a lot of wine Because juggling a job and trying to be a good parent can be really hard.

And now that I’ve said it, let’s move on to how we can manage it and try to make working at home with children work for us.

I’m going to use this highly idealised photo of me and Little Nerd that was taken for an online magazine a few years ago to illustrate this. IT’S NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL NOW I HAVE TWO KIDS so this pic makes me laugh.

Work in nap times.

I know this is so obvious that it probably doesn’t need stating, but if your little one has nap time, you get your coffee and you work. Don’t procrastinate and do household tasks. I know it’s SO tempting to tidy up the house first, maybe dawdle a little, check Instagram… don’t. Look, I am a Virgo, and a procrastinating one at that. NO-ONE understands the NEED to have a neatly colour-coordinated sock drawer before addressing that urgent deadline due at 5pm more than me. It’s very tempting to have a perfectly tidied, clean house before you sit down to work and to get that done while the baby is asleep, but I have lost count of the number of times I have thought, “I’ll just tidy up the kitchen…” and you’ve only just settled into your desk chair and the baby rouses and it’s game over. I try to do as much ‘brainless’ stuff as I can (like cleaning and folding laundry) when the kids are awake.

If you have toddlers, give up on the idea that you can do your best focused, productive work while they are awake.

Look, I know some people can do it – I don’t know how – but personally I find it SUPER difficult to try to get any REALLY focused work while the kids are with me. I can’t write while someone is yapping in my ear. So I don’t. Little Nerd is 4, and not SO bad, but at one-and-a-half, Miss Nerd is definitely too young to understand. I very rarely try to work while I’m looking after them. They’re not happy, I end up snipping at them, I can’t give my all to my work either, and I hate myself for being a snappy parent. I only jump onto my computer while they’re awake if I absolutely HAVE to. I just give in to spending time with them and busying ourselves while they are awake.

Plus, I think you will get MUCH more done in one hour of truly focused time than you can in four hours of trying to work while the kids are clawing at you and you want to rip your hair out.

Photo by Heather Robbins.

See if you can tag-team.

If your partner is also working from home, perhaps you can work out a routine so you each get focused time to work while the other distracts the kids.

Be nice to yourself.

“Be gentle to yourself”. “You are enough”. “You got this Mama”. Sometimes the clichéd Instagrammy affirmations make me vomit in my mouth a little, sometimes they make me burst into tears (this REALLY depends on what kind of week with the kids I’m having) but it is important to be kind to yourself, don’t stress the small stuff so much. When you’re upset, ask yourself, will this matter in a year? Probably not. You’ll have good days and bad days, but on the plus side, thousands of people are in the exact same boat as you.

Get outdoors and get fresh air every day – you and the kids.

Yes, even if it’s cold. (Although, we seem to be having the longest summer EVER in Perth, and it’s still not cold). This is the German side of me speaking. German people know the value of sun and fresh air, even when it’s freezing.

My mum, who hails from a tiny country town south of Bremen, always told me about how in Germany people bundle up the babies snug and warm in their prams and take them for a walk or just pop them out by the front door. “And at crèche, even when it’s cold, they put the thick jackets on and the boots and the hats on the kids, and they send them out to play in the woods,” my mum says sagely, and I’m like nodding enthusiastically about this slightly disconcerting woodland daycare: “YES, YES. PUT THE LITTLE BABIES IN THE WOODS.” Ok, I sound psychotic, but I am a freak about fresh air and some sun. It’s good for everyone, they’ll sleep better, you’ll sleep better and you’ll ALL feel better and less cabin-fever-y every day if you can get outside every day as much as you can.

I know I’m not the only one who often finds themselves having a bad day, but then you get outside in the fresh air and start moving and automatically you start to feel better. The staying at home rules have clamped down recently but at least in WA we are still allowed outside to walk the dog, run or ride bikes – make the most of it and do it every day, at least once a day. The moment you start you’ll feel so much better.

The kids were kindly gifted these amazing Globber scooters and as you can see they are a hit! They never need any encouragement to go outside. You can use the code word NERD for 15 percent off them from their site here.

Take care of your mental health.

Binge on Netflix. Do puzzles. Read. Work on projects around the house. Garden. Walk or run. Whatever it is you like to do that takes your mind off all your corona worries. Even juggling work at home, you can still ‘make the most of’ the time we’re having at home; and your mental wellbeing is paramount right now. If you have little kids at home and you’re still trying to juggle your own job, don’t stress too much about giving them this perfect, highly creative home schooling experience right now. I feel like there’s so much ‘social expectancy’ right now on often already-stressed out, anxious parents to be filling their kids’ days with all kinds of creative and fun and interesting educational activities while juggling their own jobs too. I’m impressed by people who can do it, but give yourself a break. All the kids will be fine.

A loose routine can be a good idea for your sanity – also, always try to start your day on a good note.

At this point I feel like I’m getting wary of sounding like another one of those people saying, “WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW” because we all have enough on our plates right now than to worry about what we “should” be doing (other than staying home as much as possible). You only need to heed this if you feel like you are struggling to manage the chaos of working from home with kids. I’ve always been one of those frenetic, “I MUST BE DOING THINGS, the house must be tidy or I’m going to scream” people and so for me ‘doing things’ is my way of feeling ok. It might not be yours and that’s ok.

You don’t need to have a super-strict routine in place (unless this suits you and you enjoy it). But getting into a loose routine can be a good idea and for me anyway, I’ve always found it eases some of my stress, because then I know when I can get my work done. Like these days, I KNOW that when the baby naps at about 11am I will be able to head to my desk and get some work done and I should have at least two hours of focused time, and that makes me feel more in control.

Also, try to set yourself up to win. Do little things all the time rather than letting them pile up too much. With my hubby away quite a lot for work I’m often on my own with the kids. When he’s away every night I clean up the kitchen and try to do a quick tidy up and wipe down before I go to bed – no matter how tired I am. I am NOT a morning person, so the idea of doing this in the morning, with the kids yapping at me, makes me even more grumpy. Plus, I’m slow and stupid first thing in the morning, much more likely to break my favourite mug as I’m packing it into the dishwasher – or my ‘mother elixir goblet’ (*cough wine glass*). Do a load of laundry every day. Every time you leave a room take one piece of random crap with you and put it away. Have them do their schoolwork at the kitchen bench while you clean up and talk to them at whatever time in the day. Look for these small things that you can do so you don’t feel like you’re losing your mind.

Remember the dog rule – a tired dog is a happy dog.

One of my mates (hi Gabby!) runs her own business from home and juggles this around two little boys. I still remember her telling me, when I was pregnant with Miss Nerd, that the trick to managing two little kids is to treat them like dogs. “You need to run them hard, TWICE A DAY.” “The playground twice a day?” I groaned. “Every day,” said Gabby sagely. At present, we can’t go to the playground, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t get them tired in the garden – send them off on their scooters or bikes, put on the sprinklers, have a scavenger hunt through the house and make them find things of different colours, put washi tape on the floor through the house and have them do an obstacle course around the house, or play a fun game where they climb onto and jump off their toy trunk 35 times while you shout, “AGAIN” like a deranged ringmaster (not that I’ve done that).

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Work off somatic anxiety.

If I’m trying to work but I’m finding in one of those edgy, anxious moods and not really getting any writing of substance done – I don’t fight it. I stop and do something else. Honestly, sometimes it’s just NOT going to work, you’re not going to be in the right headspace, sometimes everything I try to write is complete shit. Rather than trying to force it, take a break (if you can).

I either do ‘admin’ with my brainless time – I send out invoices or answer emails. Or I give up on work entirely and go for a run to clear my head or I clean up, do household tasks or start dinner – basically anything that keeps you busy so you get rid of that nervous tension. You can come back to it later – often I stop and return when the kids are in bed and I feel so much better. Or make the next day your clean start.

Eat well and keep exercising.

I know this is also obvious, but I have learned, the hard way (and several times, over and over… because I clearly don’t learn lessons the first time round) to prioritise my own health and fitness as a working parent. So many people prioritise the kids and I’m guilty of this too – for example, making them a healthy balanced meal then being so tired once they’re in bed you fall into the mistake of eating crap . But when you are healthy and mentally you’re in a good place, you can look after your kids better. YOU are number one.

My new painting from Gail Dell.

Resist the lure of the couch! 

The kids are down, you’ve closed their bedroom doors and breathed a sigh of exhausted relief – now I know you’re tired and that it’s SO tempting to collapse on the couch and watch something mindless on Netflix while simultaneously scrolling and messaging friends, but once you do that, it’s going to be even harder to prise your butt off the couch and go to your desk. Trust me – I’ve made that mistake many, many times.

Don’t sit there! If you are really knackered, go to bed (I have to admit this is what my husband is always telling me, “Just go to bed! You can do it tomorrow when you’re fresh!”) but if you have some energy left and you know you could get a bit of your work done, you might feel better for it tomorrow. I know it’s not what we really want to be doing, but I often get a lot done at night when the kids are down. I used to do it a LOT when we only had one kid, but I find having two kids so much more exhausting than one, so I don’t as much any more (and I don’t really like to) but sometimes it’s the only way. You might only need to sacrifice a few nights in the week to make a dent in your work, and you can reward yourself the other nights with a Netflix binge.

To console your broken heart that really wants to be living its best iso life watching Tiger King and eating Twisties, make working at night as pleasurable as you can. Pour yourself a little wine, light a nice candle on your desk, or make yourself a cup of tea and get a chocolate-covered cookie from the secret place you’ve hidden them from your husband (please. Like I’m the only one who does this). It’s just like when you were a kid and it’s the weekend but you have a project due – you’ll feel so much better when it’s done, rather than it bugging you. Last night I knew I wouldn’t be able to work in the morning with the kids up, and I had a deadline this morning, so after the kids went to sleep, I worked til 11pm. Not what I wanted to do, ideally, but the other option would have been trying to do it in the morning with them both awake and annoying.

If your partner is also working from home, see if you can organise ‘shifts’ to swap childcare and work.

I long ago gave up on the idea of trying to get real, focused work done while I have a person under three awake and with me. Kids have a knack for just SENSING when you’re trying to do something important and will do whatever they can in their power to harangue you. I swear, I feel like mine could be happily playing some make believe game in their own little world for 40 minutes and I’ll think, “Ooh, maybe I’ll just quickly sit at my desk and sneak a little work in while they’re happy and engaged,” and the MOMENT I sit down, they both stop playing, the bigger one is asking some inane question like how many pockets does the moon have, the little one is clambering up onto my lap pretending she wants a cuddle while really she’s stealthily perma-deleting half my emails while I’m distracted by the big one asking me how many farts are in a cow’s bum.

Your kids might be old to start understanding why working, in peace, is important. I try to explain to our four year old the importance of Mummy and Daddy working because it gives us money. “Ooooh, for more toys?”

Get a police jacket.

My husband just last night told me about a colleague who now has to work from home. The kids bugged and interrupted him so much that he bought a police-uniform-like jacket. Then he informed the kids that when he was wearing the police jacket, he was doing very IMPORTANT work and he was NOT to be interrupted. Anyway, it worked. Now they tiptoe into his office, see him in the jacket and quietly walk out, I imagine in awed, respectful silence. GENIUS.

Also see if you can set up your home office in a space where you have a door. And a lock.

Scare them, bribe them, lie to them, whatever you need to do.

Currently, the Easter Bunny is my savior for encouraging good behavior. “Remember, the Easter Bunny is watching.”(The Easter Bunny is clearly like God, or Santa Claus).

I’ve also told Little Nerd that now he is doing school from home, his teacher has asked that I text her photos and tell her what we’ve been up to through the day. This is a lie, but he’s been very well-behaved (thank you Miss Whitehouse).

The other day he got stroppy when I asked him to put his jumper on for the fifth time and I sighed and picked up my phone and he shouted, aghast, “Don’t message that to Miss Whitehouse! I’ll put my jumper on!” I wasn’t texting Miss Whitehouse, I was planning to escape to Instagram, but I went with it and sighed, “Fiiiine. I won’t text her…. THIS TIME.”

Get your kids to pitch in with household and garden tasks.

I’m totally okay with sounding like a crazy slave driver. I know that sometimes kids do such a bad job of something, or take so long, or whinge so much about being asked to do something, that it’s easier to just think, “Ugh, I’ll just do it myself”. But I think if you can do your best to get them doing things, it will pay off in the long run. It will distract them in the meantime and one day they won’t be shit at it.

Make them do things around the house to help you out. Little Nerd is four and he is perfectly capable of helping me fold and put away laundry. If he wants to watch ABC Kids, he knows he has to pick up his toys, tidy his desk and maybe help me put away some laundry first. The other day his sister was napping and he kept complaining, “What can I DO? What can I DO?” Nothing I suggested appeased him and I was becoming more and more irritated until I suggested he cleaned the windows, which he enjoyed. Did he do a perfect, completely streak-free job? No. Were they still much cleaner than they were before he started and did he not bug me for a full 15 minutes? Yes. You have to count the little wins.

His little sister is 18 months and still useless, except for that one time she put her empty chip packet in the bin.

Try to keep TV as the ultimate bribe and distraction.

Ahhh, the electronic babysitter! My dear friend.

As much as I love the first few blissful minutes of uninterruption I get from turning on ABC Kids, Mr Nerd and I have always found that TV can be a slippery slope. With our two, the less TV they get, the less they ask and whinge for it. The more TV they get, the more it seems to sort of compound. You might get that initial peace and quiet while they’re watching, but after TV they are ALMOST ALWAYS EXTRA-ANNOYING, which is when I try to herd them outside again in the hope they’ll stop killing each other. I always weigh up the butthole factor – is it worth them watching TV so I can get something done, like meet my deadline or cook dinner on a stovetop without someone attached to my leg trying to bite me through my Lorna Janes? It often is. But to keep TV feeling like ‘a special treat’, don’t have it on all day; keep it as a lifeline so that when it’s on, they are GLUED to it, which will give you hopefully 20 minutes of focused time before they inevitably start annoying you again. Also, the rule is Little Nerd has to tidy up all his stuff if he wants to watch TV, which gives me one less thing to do. Crack that whip.

I feel like right now we all need TV, so use it and don’t feel guilty. No-one needs more parental guilt, especially now when lots of us already feel edgy!

Don’t forget! This is temporary.

It’s only a stage, and if you don’t ‘master’ working at home with kids (and I STILL haven’t after FIVE years!) – that’s ok, and normal. Even if it lasts for months, this stage is only a relatively short part of your life in the whole scheme of your life. It will pass.

I hope you’re all doing ok. Maya x

The post How to Work From Home With Little Kids appeared first on House Nerd.

from Home Improvement https://house-nerd.com/2020/04/02/working-from-home-with-kids/

How to build resilient kids, even after a loss

Two years ago, in an instant, everything changed for my family and me. While my husband, Dave, and I were on vacation, he died suddenly from a cardiac arrhythmia.

Flying home to tell my seven-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son that their father had died was the worst experience of my life. During that unimaginable trip, I turned for advice to a friend who counsels grieving children. She said the most important thing was to tell my kids over and over how much I loved them and that they were not alone.

In the fog of those early and brutal weeks and months, I tried to use the guidance she had given me. My biggest fear was that my children's happiness would be destroyed by our devastating loss. I needed to know what, if anything, I could do to get them through this.

I also started talking with my friend Adam Grant, a psychologist and professor who studies how people find motivation and meaning. Together, we set out to learn everything we could about how kids persevere through adversity.

As parents, teachers and caregivers, we all want to raise resilient kids - to develop their strength so they can overcome obstacles big and small. Resilience leads to better health, greater happiness and more success. The good news is that resilience isn't a fixed personality trait; we're not born with a set amount of it. Resilience is a muscle we can help kids build.

And every kid faces challenges. Some stumbles are part of growing up. Forgetting lines in a school play. Failing a test. Losing a big game. Seeing a friendship unravel. Other hardships are far more severe. Two out of 10 children in the United States live in poverty. More than 2.5 million kids have a parent in jail, and many endure serious illness, neglect, abuse or homelessness.

Talking openly about memories - not just positive ones, but difficult ones, too - can help kids make sense of their past and rise to future challenges. It's especially powerful to share stories about how the family sticks together through good times and bad, which allows kids to feel that they are connected to something larger than themselves.

We know that the trauma from experiences like these can last a lifetime; extreme harm and deprivation can impede a child's intellectual, social, emotional and academic progress. As a society, we owe all our children safety, support, opportunity and help finding a way forward.

We can start by showing children that they matter. Sociologists define "mattering" as the belief that other people notice you, care about you and rely on you. It's the answer to a vital question that all children ask about their place in the world starting as toddlers, and continuing into and beyond adolescence: Do I make a difference to others?

When the answer is no, kids feel rejected and alone. They become more prone to self-destructive ("Hurting myself isn't a big deal, since I don't count anyway") and anti-social behaviour ("I might be doing something bad, but at least I've got your attention"). Others withdraw.

Not long ago, a friend picked up her son from a summer day camp and found him beaming with pride that he'd finished the robot he'd spent two days building. The next morning, he returned to find his robot had been destroyed: Bullies had taken only his apart - and then told him that he was worthless.

After that day, his mother watched him sink into a spiral of anxiety and depression. Even when he went back to school in autumn, she recalled, "he'd put on his hoodie and sit in the back, in his own world". Adolescents who feel that they matter are less likely to suffer from depression, low self-esteem and suicidal thoughts. They're less likely to lash out at their families and engage in rebellious, illegal and harmful behaviour. Once they reach college, they have better mental health.

As parents, we sometimes feel helpless because it's impossible to solve our children's problems. In those situations, we can still provide support by "companioning" - walking alongside them and listening.

Adam told me about evidence-based programmes at Arizona State University that help families cope with parental loss and divorce. These programmes teach parents to create and maintain warm and strong relationships, communicate openly with children, use effective discipline, avoid depression and help their children develop coping skills and strategies.

When families participate in these programmes for 10 to 12 sessions, over the next six years children have fewer problems with mental health and substance abuse, higher grades and better biological stress responses.

One afternoon, I sat down with my kids to write out "family rules" to remind us of the coping mechanisms we would need. We wrote together that it's OK to be sad and to take a break from any activity to cry. It's OK to be happy and laugh. It's OK to be angry and jealous of friends and cousins who still have fathers. It's OK to say to anyone that we do not want to talk about it now. And it's always OK to ask for help. The poster we made that day - with the rules written by my kids in coloured markers - still hangs in our hall so we can look at it every day. It reminds us that our feelings matter and that we are not alone.

Dave and I had a tradition at the dinner table with our kids in which each of us would share the best and worst moments of our day. Giving children undivided attention - something we all know is important but often fail to do - is another of the key steps towards building their resilience. My children and I have continued this tradition, and now we also share something that makes us feel grateful to remind ourselves that even after loss, there is still so much to appreciate in life.

For my friend's son whose robot was destroyed, a turning point came when one of his former teachers got in touch to see how he was doing and started spending time with him every week. She encouraged him to reach out to other kids and make friends, then followed up, reinforcing each step he took. She cared. He mattered. When a new kid started at the school, the teacher encouraged them to get together, and the friendship took off. "It made such a difference for a teacher to take an interest in him and a friend to bond with him," his mum said. "It was like the sun came out in our house."

Since my children were so young when they lost their father, I am afraid their memories of him will fade, and this breaks my heart all over again. Adam and I also learnt that talking about the past can build resilience. When children grow up with a strong understanding of their family's history - where their grandparents grew up, what their parents' childhoods were like - they have better coping skills and a stronger sense of mattering and belonging.

Jamie Pennebaker, a psychologist at the University of Texas, has found that expressing painful memories can be uncomfortable in the moment, but improves mental and even physical health over time.

To keep Dave's memory alive, I asked dozens of his closest family members, friends and colleagues to capture their stories about him on video. I also taped my children sharing their own memories, so that as they grow up, they will know which are truly theirs.

This past Thanksgiving my daughter was distraught, and when I got her to open up, she told me: "I'm forgetting Daddy because I haven't seen him for so long." We watched the video of her talking about him, and it gave her some comfort.

Talking openly about memories - not just positive ones, but difficult ones, too - can help kids make sense of their past and rise to future challenges. It's especially powerful to share stories about how the family sticks together through good times and bad, which allows kids to feel they are connected to something larger than themselves. Studies show that giving all members of the family a chance to tell their version builds self-esteem, particularly for girls. And making sure to integrate different perspectives into a coherent story builds a sense of control, particularly for boys.

A friend of mine who lost his mother when he was young told me that over time, she no longer seemed real. People were either afraid to mention her or spoke of her in idealised terms. My hope is to hold on to Dave as he really was: loving, generous, brilliant, funny and also pretty clumsy. He would spill things constantly yet was always somehow shocked when he did.

Now, when emotions are running high in our house, but my son stays calm, I tell him: "You are just like your daddy." When my daughter stands up for a classmate who is getting picked on, I say: "Just like your daddy." And when either of them knocks a glass over, I say it, too.

NYTIMES