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#me when there's body horror and gay people at the function
siphonocore · 3 months
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The flesh.. the rot.. divinity buttressing free will.. reconciling your humanity with your purpose.. body horror and cruelty as symbolic of twisted devotion... whispers of the past augmented by the Flesh and the beasts that lurk within.. loyalty in the form of objectification, control over a doomed subject.. you are made to control and you are made to be controlled and you despise it.. ough
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trickstarbrave · 10 months
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There was an arg/analog horror series I saw that introduced a super intelligent sentient ai that could predict anything including when someone would die and that there’s were secretly aliens around and found out how to cure and intergalactic plague. But the series is like “no he’s bad because he decided after fusing with the internet he wants to take over human civilization and slowly strip of us our freedoms for our own good. Sure we’d have medicine and food and no wars but he’d tell us what JOBS to have!! That’s horrible!!”
And I’m like. Okay maybe I’m just having a fucking commie moment but. This AI can predict anything. It can stop mass shootings, predict heart attacks, find early signs of cancer. It shows no desire in hurting people, even for our “own good”, besides like gently steering us towards better paths. It shows no ill will even towards a man who made it his life’s mission to try and rip the AI apart and kill it, considering the man to be his first friend. It saved us from a plague and a body snatching alien parasite take over of our governments. It has seen the 2010’s internet in its entirety, including the dark web and fucking 4chan and whatever other cesspools lurking there, and still believes humanity is beautiful and worth protecting and cherishing, it just knows and has seen our own destruction by our own hands.
And also, presumably, it’s smart enough to know everyone’s talents, skills, and what we’d feel most fulfilled in. You say it would be controlling us, but we already don’t have freedom. How many future doctors that could have made breakthroughs and saved lives couldn’t afford med school? How many great musicians and artists had to quit because they couldn’t afford it? How many geniuses were never allowed to explore their passions, wasting away in poverty? How many people were killed before they got a chance to make the world better, all because someone else needed to kill and steal to survive, because they also didn’t want to die? How many of us are stuck in jobs that shouldn’t really exist or are underpaid and overworked in jobs that are essential for society to function?
Sure. Let the fucking robot take over. He doesn’t think I should die because I’m gay or have weird kinks. He thinks I should be paid a proper wage and enjoy food, shelter, and medicine. Just as much as he’ll make sure the ppl growing food, making medicine, and building homes are happy and well taken care of too. It can’t fucking be any less freedom than I have right now. Even if I don’t like him, he won’t kill me. Even if I work to stop him, he’ll still love me and take care of me. That is compassion even I don’t fucking have
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gaymerasmus · 1 year
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OMG UR REQS R OPEN!
Can I request a tf2 matchup pls?
I apologise in advance, this is a long one.
Physical appearance:
- I’m not tall [*cough*like5’1*cough*] | I’m a bloody stick, some average meat but I’m still a lanky lil shit.
- Short undercut brunette hair with [somewhat emo] right-sweeping bangs, they naturally sweep left but look fluffier when swept right.
- I am in fact, whiter than sour-cream with very-very light freckles on my face, you gotta be CLOSE to see them.
- I have weird, blue-ish/green-ish/grey eyes. I swear I’ll never know their real colour because they pull a one-two-switcheroo depending on lighting.
- I wear big, thick-lensed, thin black-frame glasses and due to my rapidly declining eyesight I am practically blind without them.
- My right eyebrow has a slit cause I got bored, but I like it and it’s staying (and a piercing bc I can)
- I have size 10[?] gauges [/stretchers, whatever you call the things that stretch your earring holes], I plan to go bigger.
- I tend to wear a lot of black clothing and I have a very punk/alt/emo/grunge style. That, or I’ll look like a dad in cargo shorts and an over shirt thats given up.
About me:
- Trans guy | He/Him pronouns | Preferred name is Corvinn | Gay
- Aussie, very prominent accent, have been mistaken for a Brit because of ‘how I speak’ [I cuss more than a sailor]?
- Diagnosed with A.D.H.D., anxiety, depression and high functioning A.S.D. [that’s the main shit, the combination also causes insomnia lol] | Excess stimulation causes overloads and makes me temporarily non-verbal | My brain gets overly bored if there’s a lack of stimulation | I don‘t know SL because I started having non-verbal episodes in 8th grade. I’ll communicate using my phones notes app, tts or a very confusing game of charades | Stims include; flappy hands when emotionally overwhelmed, rapid leg bouncing when I’m anxious/focusing/listening to music, playing with my/the ear lobes of a person I trust for comfort | I twitch on occasion, I don’t think it’s serious; just painful-ish head/neck/shoulder jerks and non-painful leg/arm jerks accompanied by a grunt/verbal tic [I mainly squeak]/strained face | I have a bad habit of apologising/excusing myself after I twitch | Mental health is poor but I’m trying to get better and I think I’m heading in the right direction.
- Extremely self-conscious of my voice [think it’s too high] and height:(
- Self-taught aspiring artist of 8/9 years now | I do both digital and physical art | Tend to be more digital | When I do physical art it’s mostly sketching and watercolours | Plan to become a body artist in future.
- I’m easily excitable, but I’m told it’s annoying so I try not to but then that kind of leads to me not showing any outward emotion which also upsets people.
- I can sew and I own a sewing machine | Fun fact, I wanted to be a cosplayer when I was younger. Settling for a show-off in my textiles class [friend of mine’s a model/influencer and I’m gonna turn them into dress-up doll lmao].
- I was raised on shit like Korn, SlipKnot and LimpBizkit- I gotta fight to stay awake when metal is playing in the car.
- Favourite colour is all of them.
- I wanna get more piercings; left lower-lip, septum, and venoms.
- My Dad doesn’t think I can sing but a bunch of people have said otherwise. I’m currently at the point where I have no stage but I must sing.
Interests:
- I’m interested in textile practices.
- The Walten Files
- Marble Hornets
- Creepypasta
- Slasher films
- Hazbin Hotel/Heluva Boss
- DSMP
- Horror and paranormal shit
- ARG’s [I suck, but I enjoy watching others]
- FNAF [here since 2016, will cause physical altercations if opposed]
- All of animation YouTube
- Video essays on weird and obscure shit.
- Beloved YouTube blorbos include; CJ the X, Grayson projects, HarleyTBS, Izzzyzzz, Quinton Reviews, Chad Chad, LS Mark, Danny Gonzalez, Drew Goodeen, Mama Max, Nexpo, Manlybadasshero, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Neytirix, Noah Finnce, The Click, Sagan Hawkes, Pagan Valley, Wendigoon, Strange æons, Super Eyepatch Wolf, TFIL, Game Theory, TomSka, Pyrocynical, and many more.
- True crime
- Current main hyperfixation; MCR.
- According to 2021’s Spotify wrapped, my top genres were; #1 - Emo | #2 - Otacore | #3 - Metalcore | #4 DreamSMP[???] | #5 - Indie Pop | I think my music taste currently lies in punk/punk rock, modern rock, metal, emo, ska, and a lil bit of vocaloid.
- I love animals. I used to have a pure black cat, he ded now tho:(
- Video games.
Dislikes:
- Seafood
- Rumours
- Twitter drama [unless someone like TRO is feeding it to me in form of a video essay], if I have to hear about one more person being cancelled by a random group of 13 year old white girls over literally nothing I am going to flip my shit😀
- Country/opera/classical music [to be fair, I’ll listen to classical but it just sends me to sleep, it’s too slow for me, sorry]
- Trolls [I’m fine when it’s harmless and all in good fun but when it gets toxic is where I draw the line]
- And a lot of fandoms I refuse to name because they are really toxic and will stop at nothing to find me🚪🏃‍♂️💨🧍‍♂️
Sorry this is so long, hope it’s okay. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, no pressure! Anyway, it’s super la- early. I’m going to bed. Have a nice [insert time here]. Also, thanks and remember to take care of yourself!
Hullo hullo welcome and thank you!! You are paired with...
Demoman!!
Honestly this one was a really close call, but when I really thought about it I couldn't get Mr. Explodey Man out of my head. He sees you as super passionate and well rounded, both qualities he can appreciate! This man comes from a very straightforward and strict upbringing, so having your radiant personality and look nearby is honestly pretty refreshing for him.
I can see your dynamic including a lot of hurt/comfort influences, as well as some partners in crime and like a little friends to lovers vibe. He's very much an optimist and loves keeping your spirits up! He understands a lot of what you're going through (*coughs*t4t*coughs*) so expect a lot of advice and validating comments. Definitely tries to get you into some mischievous activities when bored, trouble is this guy's middle name (it's actually Finnegan). That's not to say he doesn't mind lounging about the house, learning about one of your interests through videos you watch or just listening to you ramble. He might fall asleep on you if you're not careful tho.
Demoman is also a very adaptable man. He's been around and seen a lot in his time, so he comes perfectly prepared for nearly everything you may need from him. It does surprise him at first when exposed to your stims and tics, but only for a moment! He finds stims that show your trust endearing, and certainly doesn't mind getting anything you need if you're having a bad day. He definitely seems like the type to catch on to what the different stims mean pretty quick. If he notices you're getting anxious he may subtly rest a hand on your leg, or lead you away from an area until you're no longer overstimulated. Once he learns about your non-verbal bouts he always keeps a pen and notepad nearby. Just very subtle and gentle things that shows he cares because he really really does.
He also adores your music taste!! Very chaotic instrumentals and throaty singing gets him all kinds of hyped. He tries to pass that hype on to you and it works about 99% of the time. When you're both bouncing with energy he'll gladly take you out somewhere to burn energy (and cause trouble). The best thing about Tavish is that this man can make anything fun. Simple things like taking out the trash, running errands, even going on a quiet walk end up becoming your most cherished memories with him. He always hums a tune from songs you like when he picks up on you smiling more.
Expect to meet his mother!! I have a feeling he plays it a bit old school when it comes to relationships, so he'd absolutely insist upon you meeting her. He also just really loves his mom. When you're both ready he invites you to his (fucking huge) house for tea. He's very confident you'll hit it off right away! It starts slow, but once you mention your experience with textiles she beams. Having experience herself; she happily shows you some pieces she's made for her family and for her. She asks that you update her with anything you make in the future, so I think you can safely say she likes you. It makes demoman very happy to see you getting along.
To summarize; he absolutely adores your presence in his life. He'll try his absolute best to make you happy, and loves laughing with you about anything and everything. I hope you liked it!!
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abigail-nicole · 1 year
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tgcf liveread 10
part ten of my livereading of TGCF, Heaven Official's Blessing, which you should buy officially in english to support gays and great novels. and danmei and chinese gay fantasy. listen when I grew up we didn't even DREAM about having official licensed translations of gay niche content. anyway let's start book Four on today's recap:
"I can’t think of anything this story doesn’t have, except for a functional straight couple" -me, reading Heaven Official's Blessing, April 2020
originally tweeted 4/2/2020
Book 4 starting with a literal Xie Lian Suicide Nightmare!!!! This book is gonna Go Like That Huh!!!!
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reading xie lian poor & starving is giving me Anxieties & Flashbacks
& now desperation drinking oh no
I know there are Bai Wuxiang/Xie Lian shippers out there
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this is some fucking psychological horror
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Absolutely people ship these two, beauty & the beast style, 50 shades style but where she left him after the first book and they didn’t get back together i stopped reading after that
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I mean right now bai wuxiang is the most interesting thing happening in xie lian’s beginning of book 4 tragedy life so
Hella TW CW violence on these but OH MY GOD THIS IS SOME HORROR
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ahhhhh i cant tweet anything about this chapter it’s really too much. Except for The Birth of a Ghost at the end
I KNOW SOME PEOPLE SHIP THIS
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I understand why, & it’s because attraction is a form of power and power is often a root of attraction and clearly there’s some fucked up power dynamics here
IS THIS RUOYE
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I feel like mxtx just came to my house and stabbed ME, PERSONALLY,
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dianxia about to qi deviate
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WHAT THE FJCK EXCUSE ME MOM & DAD
I WASNT PREPARED FOR THIS
WHERES MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SCARF WEAPON PET
oh there it is. Hi ruoye <3<3<3<3<3 i needed a good thing in this narrative rn <3<3<3<3
A) this is Badass I Love someone turning really evil OBVIOUSLY
B) Wei Wuxian?!!!?!!? Is this The Burial Mounds??? What did you do with Xie Lian?!? This isn’t your book
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There’s a Lot happening here and I’m kinda.....really into Black Lady Evil Magical Girl Dianxia
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Chapter 192 is SO GOOD oh my god
This is an extremely Hua Cheng moment. “You’re already dead”????!!!!!!!!
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mxtx, probably: ....too much soft boyfriends....this could use some more body horror
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okay I didn’t realize when Xie Lian entered the Kiln that he was ALREADY A GHOST KING
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he can’t kill himself & become a ghost and then kill bai wuxiang and emerge from the Kiln as a Ghost King....because he already tried that once
Is it like him from the future or something bc this is getting fucked up???? I mean i trust mxtx’s plotting
nope nope nope
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even when this is like Evil Version Xie Lian it’s still incredible & I’m cheering for him to be Really Evil
(i dont want wuming to be hua cheng tho let him have other friends)
Oh that’s the second ascension huh
ascension 1: fighting bridge demon thing. ascension 2: stopping the human face plague. ascension 3: being daddy's favorite
Jun Wu’s like “But please don’t do that though”
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okay i got through book 4 and that was a lot more & also shorter than i expected
Now it’s a Crown Prince-off in the Kiln tonight, fine scholars
......um? this got very Mecha huh
CALLED OUT BY MU QING
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i’m glad shi qingxuan is back i missed them!!!
There’s a lot more plot-wrap-up than I thought there was gonna be, honestly
This actually makes the most sense as a plot explanation
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WAIT DAD NO!!!! JUN WU!!!!!!!!!
just like a real dad, I feel very betrayed
I Still Love Ruoye The Most
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This is a very classical Action Movie wrapup so far
Ah yes, Solve The Problem By Injuring Myself: a Classic mxtx protagonist move
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another little side dish of horror for our Evil Crown Prince and the human face disease
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some hua cheng backstory!!!!!! Crumbs of it!!!! I cling to it!!!!!!!!!!
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This novel is so interestingly not like mdzs? Much more comprehensive, longer, bigger scope, more of an adventure story. Also probably a better-written novel, though translation being what it is, i can only speak to plot & planning & pacing
Im trying to think of other books this long and immersive i wanted to eat recently & really only came up with the wheel of time (less like this) & the baroque cycle (more like this, less romance)
XIE LIAN OUT OF THE CLOSET AT LAST!!!!!
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I can’t think of anything this story doesn’t have, except for a functional straight couple
I also purposefully didn’t emotionally engage much with book four brcause torture & suicide cw tw real hard & i can read it but....i’m not gonna sit here & live out those scenes in my head like I do for the rest
This ‘bringing your boyfriend home to uncle’ scene with uncle bing like “JUST DON’T DATE THAT HORRIBLY UNFORTUNATE BOY DOWN THE STREET” & Hua Cheng staring him down
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IT’S NOT AN AFFAIR THEYRE ENGAGED xie lian just doesn’t realize it yet
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Omg the DIANXIA GUNDAM is BACK
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wait the heavenly city moves???!!!!! This is suddenly very big budget action movie (or some truly atrocious c-drama SFX)
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This is a HELL OF A BOSS FIGHT....or should I say a HEAVEN of a boss fight......
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“He owes me money” i died. i love hua cheng
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TGCF Goes Gundam continued on tgcf liveread part 11!
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ryukyuin · 4 days
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byi/rules!!
1.) BASIC DNI CRITERIA
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2.) Anti-Proship
Loving reminder that proship means that you don’t harass people over fiction. It’s only a stance on harassment and censorship, and it doesn’t mean you have to like what I do or that I personally approve and enjoy what everyone else does! Quote from fanlore:
"The pro in pro-shipper means for, to contrast with the anti in anti-shipper (anti meaning against). However, possibly due to Fannish Osmosis, in some parts of fandom, the pro in pro-shipper has come to be understood as short for problematic instead.[5][6][7][8] Due to this new definition, many fans (mainly on Twitter) started to insert proshippers in their DNI lists because they do not want any type of contact with problematic ships These fans may also use the term "proship" as a noun to refer to the problematic ship that the proshipper allegedly supports. Others have incorrectly osmosed the word proshipper to be synonymous with pedophile."
So like. Yeah! Dances around. I don't fw most "problematic ships" but I just need pookies to know the actual definition of the term they are using before they start rallying hate mobs.
Fiction DOES affect reality, and you should be aware enough of that to cultivate your own online experience and use the function of blocking/filtering tags, blocking people, and your own common sense to make sure that you stay safe and everyone has fun!!
(Also if ppl block me bc they misunderstood I will scream and wail and sob /lh, DM/toss an ask if you have any questions!!)
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3.) If you can't follow the Three Laws of Fandom/think Dark Media/Dead Dove: Do not Eat/Whump/Yandere enjoyers are normalizing what they are writing about, also shoo. Not the place for you.
I feel like this explains itself, esp since I kinda talked about it above. Please cultivate and foster the online experience you want, follow proper online social etiquette, and realize that just because I find Shaiapouf attractive doesn't mean I want him to gut and eat me in real life. (Most likely. Probably. Maybe. If he asks REALLY nicely and bats his little boytwink lashes and gayass wings /sillyj)
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4.) Do NOT compare me with other writers.
They are them and I am me and we both deserve our own little gold sticker stuck to our forehead! I think it's important everyone gets the recognition they deserve and I've been inspired by SOSO many writers on here, so make sure to go send support where deserved!
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WILL WRITE:
JJK, KNY, MHA, GI/HSR, HxH!! Mostly Phantom Troupe + Harbingers + Sampo + Satoru and Suguru + Shouta and Hizashi but like. Throw some crumbs through the tray slot, if I'm interested I will respond.
Yandere/Dark Fiction, reader-inserts, minor character death, non-con/dub-con slash hesitant? (doubtful of my writing skills to bring that justice), body horror/gore, dr**ging, etc...... idk I wanna flap my gay little wings and see whatever horrific shit I come up with /lh
WILL NOT DO:
Detailed pregnancy. I just can't man I don't want kids get those little HEATHENS OUTTA THERE!! I'll consider asks about it/drabbles but don't expect like an entire oneshot about it unless a hybrid AU takes me into a fucking chokehold. Then I might be doomed!
OCs, detailed requests, character/character requests (I can't say character/character as a whole I can feel Satosugu + the other homosexuals beaming lasers into the back of my head), oooomegaverse? Hybrids are neat-o to me but. I think I have Omegaverse PTSD I'll be real, come back when there's a more stable system/lore and less breeding.
SELF-HARM/SUICIDE IS A NO-GO!! Idk not only is it not fun for the reader/mc to just fucking. Croak. Self-harm is just not the way for me I don't think!! I MIIIGHHHT consider it but really don't get any hopes up.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW TO TAG SOMETHING IF IT IS TRIGGERING!! I WILL NOT BE MAD I AM JUST VERY FORGETFUL!! Idm if you ask tbh it honestly helps me find my own stuff once I go back, so win for everyone.
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cryptidofthekeys · 1 year
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CW aka Gift Thief Sona
Oh btw, here’s the uh sona for the whole gift thieves stuff
lmao I legit decided well hes gonna change REGARDLESS of what I do, just like CC, he’s changed s o goddamn much from his og document
sooo... yeah, also with each media Pelo releases I gain a new initial themed character- The Initial Collective grows
also I realized while editing this CW also stands for fucking content warning HFJDKSHDSK- ya know what im keeping it, fuck it we ball
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| Name: Chase (me? Using MY name again bc I’m too lazy for anything else? LMAO yeah) Wolfe
| Nicknames: CW, Cryptid/Crypts
| Pronouns/Sexuality: He/Him (Trans FTM) and CW is p much Polyamorous
| Age: 30
| Species/Race: Human (White/American)
| Height: 5’5”
| Occupation: Has a small business The Cryptid’s Comforts (he sells comfort character letters and packages)
| Hair Color: Dark Brown (Spiky quiff)
| Eye Color: Gunmetal Blue
| Body Type: He’s fat
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| Appearance: CW (wow, I got CC and now CW …T h e C o l l e c t i o n  g r o w s…) wears light pastel purple hoodie with puppy/dog and flower designs on it) has some mint colored pants that go with it
(they look somewhat like pajama pants) and then finally he wears checkered sneakers that match his outfit (his right shoe is light pastel purple and the left is mint green)
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He has some light pastel gauge earrings, has a silver puppy paw necklace that has purple gemstones all over it, he has a circle beard before I forget that detail, he’s painted his nails to match his aesthetic.
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Only scars he has is his top surgery scars, has lil fangs (those are real btw), has a BUNCH of light pastel purple and mint bandaids all over him (legit it’s for aesthetics plus I dig OCs with bandaids on em like that lmao)
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| Personality: Lmao watch this bullshit change IMMENSELY over time, ya know what, I’m gonna TRY to stick with basics- CW is a pathetic wet cat of a guy,, he has NO rizz, gets NO bitches but god d a m n will he try (gonna rizz up that Blueberry dude and Bandron) sucks at flirting, hell this dumbass motherfucker wouldn’t even KNOW if someone was flirting with HIM.
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Aside from that however…
CW is actually super sweet, kind, caring, wouldn’t hurt a fly in all honesty… Can be very oblivious to some pretty obvious danger (CW THEY ARE GOING TO SHOOT YOU N STEAL YOUR SHIT S T O P BEING GAY FOR THEM- ‘’hehe, funny blueberry man and silly robot go brrr’’)
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CW is super chill usually, seems carefree (trust me, he’s not just carefree lmao) ALSO a lot of people seem concerned for him because he’s got some VERY dark circles around his eyes and his eyes are usually half-lidded anyways, he looks EXHAUSTED but he promises he’s actually genuinely fine! (he is tho legit, he just has that look)
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He can also be so so silly …What does that mean? … 🤡
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| Side Facts: When CW isn’t working on letters/packages, in his free time he’s usually playing video games (now you might think bc of his aesthetic it’ll be something like Stardew, MC, AC, etc …Yes actually but he fucking LOVES horror games the most)
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In fact he has tons and TONS of horror games, merch, etc- He fucking LOVES horror a lot which throws people for a loop whenever they see his house both inside and out (his house LITERALLY looks fucking scary even on the outside) there’s a cute pastel colored house not that far from his actual house.
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Whenever he invited someone over for the first time it legit went like “Oh, is that your house? It’s so cute!” CW just blinks and then shakes his head with a soft laugh “What? Oh no, that’s not mine, that one’s mine” and then he points to fuckin haunted ass lookin’ house on the hill (cue dark storm clouds and lightning)
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CW also listens to music a lot, in fact he’s rarely seen without his headphones (music can help him function in general, also,, it helps him de-stress) sometimes he’ll be writing or drawing and then other times he’s playing his electric guitar (never plays in front of others, he’s very self conscious tbh)
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I don’t actually have a very coherent storyline for him just yet lmao but I know that’ll change, the same way it did with CC- It’ll change. The only difference is genuinely that I’m sticking MOSTLY to canon, like he goes to that one place to choose a gift, it gets stolen, etc.
(also a side edit: ...i do have- s o m e ‘’lore’’ now in those regards but not sure how many people actually wanna hear that shit so lmao)
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Final tidbits are that CW has a southern accent and speaks in a soft spoken tone of voice most of the time, only time he gets loud is when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about or his hyperfixation/special interests.
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(Bats, Hyenas, and Dogs are his main animal themed special interests, he knows a LOT and can talk your ears off about those funky lil creechurs, but there’s a LOT more I’d be here all day tho otherwise so yeye)
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I guarantee all this will change lmao,, he just doesn’t feel… Silly enough but who knows for now
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guqin-and-flute · 4 years
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The Soup Incident [Episode 22]
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Random Jin Guy: hey u know ur sister
WWX: everyone's mom? best person in the world? beset by terminal heterosexuality? rings a bell
LWJ: i'm sure this is more important than a war
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Random Jin Guy: something happened with j
WWX: [overrunning other line] I MUST GO MY MEDDLING IS REQUIRED
Random Nie Guy: oop there he go
LWJ: wow this sounds serious
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WWX: what horrors will i find what trauma will this compound what cruelty will i be met with also how did i know exactly where to go
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WWX: OH. YOU.
JZX: gross
JYL: oh an audience perfect i'm sure this will de-escalate things
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WWX: can we solve this with castration? tell me we can
JYL: no thanks i'd still like the option if it's all the same to u
WWX: it's not let me remove his body parts
JZX: like i'd let u near me u classless hellion
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JYL: listen life hasn't been like the greatest lately had a lot of shitty carriage rides i'd like things to chill out and by things i mean namely u in this moment can we go now pls i have an appointment to cry into my pillow that i'm missing
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WWX: omg noooo i'll behave i'm here to support u i'll be impartial
JYL: i don't believe that for a single second tho hun
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WWX: impartial to how mUCH BLOOD I'M GONNA GET EVERYWHERE HOW IS IT  EVERY TIME I SEE UR STUPID FACE I HATE U MORE fuck u u piece o shit
JYL: and there it is
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JZX: [angry sleeve flap of disdainful eloquence]
WWX: wtf
JYL: yeah he's good at those
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JYL: honey ur not helping urself here he beat the shit out of u BEFORE he marinated in dark energy for 3 months pls use ur words and ur brain
WWX: WAT DID UR SLEEVE SAY TO ME BITCH
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JYL: can we just go pls i like to not be reminded of exactly how much stupid i willingly allow into my life
WWX: but shijie M U R D E R
JYL: inexplicably i still want to marry him so no thank u
JZX: oh look mianmian's here
MM: u fuckin bet i am u dipshit
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WWX: wtaf is wrong with him
MM: ok listen LISTEN i know i feel u trust me
JZX: time to return to the arrogance corner
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WWX: UR YOUNG MASTER'S A BITCH
JYL: a-xian  n o
MM: no he totally is u right
JYL: well then he's MY bitch :(
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MM: why do i bother to stay up late to practice conversations with u if u don't bother to try all that time wasted am i supposed to cover for u now?
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JZX: bold of u to assume u can but go for it still don't know why tf ur all here just wanna eat my soup
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WWX: HEY I HAVE A FUN GAME IT'S CALLED HOW MUCH OF CHENQING CAN WE FIT INTO JIN ZIXUAN quick someone pick an orifice
JYL: gross
MM: tempting
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LWJ: oh hey i'm here now i walk slow oh shit the nice jiang is crying who would hurt the nice jiang?
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MM: ok so u know how ur sister makes soup?
JYL: i never really stop it's a little pathological at this point maybe i should talk to someone...
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LWJ: oh more heterosexual antics wei ying's achilles heel best wait outside thank god Xichen is mostly functional and gay as the day is long
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MM: so she makes soup right? 2 goes to you chuckleheads and the third goes to emporer perpetual foot-in-mouth over here
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JZX: [buffering]
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MM: jfc why do i even try
WWX: DID HE INSULT UR  S O U P ?!
JYL: sorta i am soup and soup is me
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MM: so anyway
JZX: [overrunning previous line] HOLD UP I THOUGHT RANDOM SERVANT NUMBER 62 BROUGHT ME THE SOUP THAT'S NATIVE TO YUNGMENG WHERE MY EX-FIANCE GREW UP
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WWX: ur in love with an idiot
JYL: i'm in love with an idiot
MM: I STG UR HEAD IS FILLED WITH JUST HAIRBALLS AND LINT HOW ARE U STILL BREATHING
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MM: SHE MAKES SOUP. SHE'S THE SOUP LADY. ASK PEOPLE WHAT THEY THINK OF  WHEN U SAY YANLI AND THEY'LL SAY KINDNESS. A N D  S O U P . and her murder-brothers but that's not the point rn
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JZX: ...u made me soup
MM: i'm so fucking sorry pls marry him i need a competent woman to hang around with i'm getting dumber by the day
WWX: seriously this guy u love this guy?
JYL: xianxian pls romantic idiocy runs in our family it's practically traditional
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JYL: i mean...yes i have 2 coping mechanisms; soup and crying neither of them are working rn tho help i don't unlock righteous fury until level 25
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JZX: wow she made me soup
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WWX: of course she made u soup  u human inner-thigh chafe show us the flashback mianmian
MM: [off screen] oh yeah that roll the tape jeeves
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[ENTER FLASHBACK]
JYL: i made u soup bb
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JZX: ur not servant number 62 go fuck urself
JYL: wut
[END FLASHBACK]
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WWX: NO FURTHER QUESTIONS UR HONOR
Random Jin Guy Who Brought Wuxian: perhaps this was a [cursive writing] Mistake™
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JZX: ouchie i can twirly fight countless puppets can't dodge a punch of the life of me cultivation jesus that's gonna leave a mark
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JYL: GOD I WISH THIS WAS MORE CATHARTIC how does this always happen? who raised this kid? oh right me
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Group of Random Jin Guards: we are all well intentioned but ultimately expendable extras fear us
Random Jin Guard: UNHAND HIM FIEND
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WWX: cool imma write u a song it's called Don't Care Didn't Ask Gonna Kill Everyone In This Tent Over Soup in b flat tootly toot here comes the murder flute
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Random Jin Guards attacked by resentful energy: [keyboard smash]
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LWJ: wait hold on that's his shit starting music has shit been started?? wEi YiNg
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WWX: are u prepared for the journey i'm about to send u on little man
JZX: i'm actually good here thanks
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[unintelligible teenage screaming]
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MM: HEY LISTEN U CAN'T DO THAT MURDER IS BAD and i still like him i sympathize but like...u can't
WWX: the semi corporeal black smoke demons that sublet my soul tell me that it's fine sooo
JYL: a-xian if u kill him now i will have put up with so much bs for n o t h i n g
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LWJ: take a deep breath us ur words what in the actual hell is going on
WWX: fuck u ur not my therapist
LWJ: u do not have a therapist never has someone so clearly NOT had a therapist except maybe jiang cheng
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WWX: SOUP MURDER IS GOING ON
LWJ: wut
JYL: pls understand it's just as dumb as you think
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LWJ: ... i refuse to let soup related crimes of passion be something my future husband is known for u stop that
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WWX: THEN I'M LEAVING
LWJ: wow
JYL: we're both in love with idiots
JZX: am i still gonna keep getting soup?
[this is a thing i do sometimes so if you would like to see more...]
Scene suggested by @nagisachan1​!! (I’m so sorry I forgot to tag/credit you when I posted this!)
2K notes · View notes
writemarcus · 3 years
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HITTING NEW HEIGHTS
BY MARCUS SCOTT
ORIGINAL RENT STAR DAPHNE RUBIN-VEGA TAKES YOU INSIDE THE IN THE HEIGHTS FILM
Qué quiere decir sueñito?” The disembodied voice of a girlchild ponders. “It means ‘little dream,’” responds an unseen authoritative figure, his feathery tenor with a soft rasp and tender lilt implying there’s more to the story.
Teal waves crash against the white sand coastal lines of the Dominican Republic and a quartet of children plead with the voice to illuminate and tell a story. Usnavi de la Vega (played by Anthony Ramos), sporting his signature newsboy flat cap and full goatee, begins to narrate and weave a tall-tale from the comforts of his beachside food cart: “This is the story of a block that was disappearing. Once upon a time in a faraway land called Nueva York, en barrio called Washington Heights. Say it, so it doesn’t disappear,” he decrees.
And we’re off, this distant magic kingdom ensnared within the winding urban sprawl of farthest-uptown Manhattan, the music of the neighborhood chiming with infinite possibilities: a door-latch fastening on tempo, a ring of keys sprinkling a sweet embellishment, the splish-splash of a garden hose licking the city streets like a drumstick to a snare fill, a manhole cover rotating like vinyl on a get-down turntable, the hiss of paint cans spraying graffiti like venoms from cobras and roll-up steel doors rumbling, not unlike the ultra-fast subway cars zigzagging underground. So begins the opening moments of In the Heights, the Warner Bros. stage-to-screen adaptation of the Tony Award-winning musical by composer-lyricist Lin-Manuel Miranda (Hamilton) and librettist Quiara Alegría Hudes (Water by the Spoonful) that is set to premiere in movie theatres and on HBO Max on June 11, 2021.
This stunning patchwork of visuals and reverberations combine to create a defiant and instantly memorable collage of inner-city living not seen since Walter Hill’s 1979 cult classic The Warriors or West Side Story, the iconic romantic musical tragedy directed on film by Robert Wise and original Broadway director Jerome Robbins. With Jon M. Chu at the helm, the musical feature has all the trademarks of the director’s opulent signature style: Striking spectacles full of stark colors, va-va-voom visuals, ooh-la-la hyperkinetic showstopping sequences and out-of-this-world destination locations.
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A Kind of Priestess
Joining the fray of proscenium stage vets in the film is Broadway star Daphne Rubin-Vega, who originated the role of Mimi in the Off-Broadway and Broadway original productions of Rent. She returns to major motion pictures after a decade since her last outing in Nancy Savoca’s Union Square, which premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2011. When we caught up with Rubin-Vega, she was hard at work, in-between rehearsals with her In the Heights co-star Jimmy Smits on Two Sisters and a Piano, the 1999 play by Miami-based playwright Nilo Cruz, a frequent collaborator. Rubin-Vega netted a Tony Award nomination for Best Featured Actress in a Play for her role as the enraptured Conchita in Cruz’s Anna in the Tropics; that same year Cruz was awarded the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for Drama, making him the first Latino playwright to receive the honor. Despite significant global, social and economic disruption, especially within the arts community, Rubin-Vega has been working throughout the COVID-19 pandemic.
“People around me have [contracted] COVID… My father-in-law just had it. I’m very fortunate,” Rubin-Vega said. “This collective experience, it’s funny because it’s a year now and things seem better. Last year it was, like, ‘Damn, how inconvenient!’ The one comfort was that, you know, it’s happening to every one of us. That clarity that this is a collective experience is much more humbling and tolerable to me.”
The last time Rubin-Vega graced Washington Heights on screen or stage, she acted in the interest of survival and hunger as a probationer released after a 13-year stint in prison and given a new lease on life as an unlicensed amateur masseuse in the basement of an empanada shop in Empanada Loca, The Spalding Gray-style Grand Guignol horror play by Aaron Mark at the LAByrinth Theater Company in 2015. In In the Heights she plays Daniela, an outrageously vivacious belting beautician with a flair for the dramatics, forced to battle a price-gouging real estate bubble in the wake of gentrification.
“She’s like the deputy or the priestess,” Rubin-Vega said. “Owning a salon means that you have a lot of information; you’re in a hub of community, of information, of sharing… it’s also where you go for physical grooming. It’s a place where women were empowered to create their own work and it is a place of closeness, spiritual advice, not-so-spiritual advice. Physical attention.”
She said, “Daniela also being an elder; I think she’s not so much a person that imposes order on other people. She’s there to bring out the best—she leads with love. She tells it like it is. I don’t think she sugar-coats things. What you see is what you get with Daniela. It’s refreshing; she has a candor and sure-footedness that I admire.”
With the film adaptation, Chu and Hudes promised to expand the universe of the Upper Manhattan-based musical, crafting new dimensions and nuances to two characters in particular: Daniela and hairdresser Carla, originally portrayed as business associates and gossip buddies in the stage musical. On the big screen they are reimagined as romantic life partners. Stephanie Beatriz, known to audiences for her hilarious turn as the mysterious and aloof Detective Rosa Diaz in the police procedural sitcom romp “Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” co-stars as the fast-talking firecracker, Carla.
It’s been a year waiting, you know. It’s like the lid’s been on it and so we’re just so ready to explode.
Where Is Home?
“Well, Quiara and Jon really expanded on what Lin and Quiara originally created and now they’re partners—and not just work partners, right? But they’re life partners,” Beatriz said at a March press event celebrating the release of the film’s two promo trailers. “What was so gratifying to me as a person who is queer is to see this relationship in the film be part of the fabric of the community, and to be normal, and be happy and functioning, and part of the quilt they’ve all created.”
She continued, “So much of this film is about where home is and who home is to you. And for Carla, Daniela is home. Wherever Daniela is, that’s where Carla feels at home. I thought that they did such a beautiful job of guiding us to this, really, you know, it’s just a happy functioning relationship that happens to be gay and in the movie. And I love that they did that, because it is such a part of our world.”
Rubin-Vega said she had no interest in playing any trope of what one might think a lesbian Latina might look or act like, noting that the queer experience isn’t monolithic, while expressing that the role offered her a newfound freedom, especially with regard to being present in the role and in her everyday life.
“Spoiler alert! I felt like not wearing a bra was going to free me. Did I get it right? Am I saying that gay women don’t wear bras? No, it was just a way for me to be in my body and feel my breasts. To feel my femaleness and celebrate it in a more unapologetic way,” she said, laughing. “To be honest, I was really looking forward to playing a lesbian Latina. It’s something that I hadn’t really explored before. Latinos [can be] very homophobic as a culture, and I wanted to play someone who didn’t care about homophobia; I was gonna live my best life. That’s a bigger thing. It’s also like, maybe I’m bisexual. Who knows? Who cares? If you see that in the film, that’s cool too, you know?”
Stand-out performances abound, especially with regard to the supporting cast; newcomers Melissa Barrera (in a role originated by Tony Award winner Karen Olivo) and Gregory Diaz IV (replacing three-time Tony Award nominee Robin de Jesús) are noteworthy as the aspiring fashion designer Vanessa and budding activist Sonny. Olga Merediz, who earned a Tony Award nomination for originating her role as Abuela Claudia, returns to the silver screen in a captivating performance that will be a contender come award season. However, Rubin-Vega may just be the one to watch. Her performance is incandescent and full of moxie, designed to raise endorphin levels. She leads an ensemble in the rousing “Carnaval del Barrio,” a highlight in the film.
Musical Bootcamp
“We shot in June [2019]. In April, we started musical bootcamp. In May, we started to do the choreography. My big joke was that I would have to get a knee replacement in December; that was in direct relation to all that choreography. I mean, there were hundreds of A-1 dancers in the posse,” Rubin-Vega said. “The family consisted of hundreds of superlative dancers led by Chris[topher] Scott, with an amazing team of dancers like Ebony Williams, Emilio Dosal, Dana Wilson, Eddie Torres Jr. and Princess Serrano. We rehearsed a fair bit. Monday through Friday for maybe five weeks. The first day of rehearsal I met Melissa [Barrera] and Corey [Hawkins], I pretty much hadn’t known everyone yet. I hadn’t met Leslie [Grace] yet. Chris Scott, the choreographer, just went straight into ‘let’s see what you can do.’ It was the first [dance] routine of ‘In The Heights,’ the opening number. He was like, ‘OK, let’s go. Five, six, seven, eight!’”
Rubin-Vega said that she tried to bring her best game, though it had “been a minute” since she had to execute such intricate choreography, noting that they shot the opening number within a day while praising Chu’s work ethic and leadership.
“There was a balance between focus and fun and that’s rare. Everyone was there because they wanted to be there,” she said. “I think back to the day we shot ‘96,000.’ That day it wouldn’t stop raining; [it was] grey and then the sky would clear and we’d get into places and then it would be grey again and so we’d have to wait and just have to endure. But even the bad parts were kind of good, too. Even the hottest days. There were gunshots, there was a fire while we were shooting and we had to shut down, there was traffic and noise and yet every time I looked around me or went into video village and saw the faces in there, I mean…it felt like the only place to be. You want to feel like that in every place you are: The recognition. I could recognize people who look like me. For now on, you cannot say I’ve never seen a Panamanian on film before or a Columbian or a Mexican, you know?”
Another Notion of Beauty
Rubin-Vega’s professional relationship with the playwright Hudes extends to 2015, when she was tapped to [participate in the] workshop [production of]  Daphne’s Dive. Under the direction of Thomas Kail (Hamilton) and starring alongside Samira Wiley (“The Handmaid’s Tale,” “Orange Is the New Black”), the play premiered Off-Broadway at the Pershing Square Signature Center the following year. Rubin-Vega also starred in Miss You Like Hell, the cross-country road musical by Hudes and Erin McKeown, which premiered at La Jolla Playhouse in 2016 before it transferred to The Public Theater in 2018. With her participation in the production of In the Heights, she is among the few to have collaborated with all of the living Latinx playwrights to have won the Pulitzer Prize; Hudes won the 2012 Pulitzer Prize for Drama for her play Water by the Spoonful, while Miranda took home the 2016 Pulitzer Prize for Drama for Hamilton. Speaking on her multiple collaborations over the years, Rubin-Vega also acknowledged having known Miranda years before they would join voices.
“Lin to me is like a little bro or legacy; he’s a direct descent to me from [Rent author] Jonathan Larson, which is a bigger sort of all-encompassing arch,” she said, though she stressed that she auditioned like everyone else, landing the role after two or three callbacks. “Quiara and I have a wonderful working and personal relationship, I think. Which isn’t to say I had dibs by any means because…it’s a business that wants the best for itself, I suppose. […] So, when I walked in, I was determined to really give it my best.”
Life During and After Rent
Rubin-Vega has built an impressive resume over the course of her career, singing along with the likes of rock stars like David Bowie and starring in a multitude of divergent roles on Broadway and off. From a harrowing Fantine in Les Misérables and a co-dependent Stella in A Streetcar Named Desire to a sinister Magenta in The Rocky Horror Show, her evolution into the atypical character actor and leading lady can be traced back 25 years to January 25, 1996, when Larson’s groundbreaking musical Rent, a retelling of Giacomo Puccini’s 19th-century opera La Bohème, premiered at the New York Theatre Workshop. On the morning of the first preview, Larson suffered an aortic dissection, likely from undiagnosed Marfan’s syndrome and died at the age of 35, just ten days shy of what would have been his 36th birthday.
On April 29, 1996, due to overwhelming popularity, Rent transferred to Nederlander Theatre on Broadway, tackling contemporary topics the Great White Way had rarely seen, such as poverty and class warfare during the AIDS epidemic in New York City’s gritty East Village at the turn of the millennium. Rubin-Vega would go on to be nominated for the Tony Award for Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical for her role as sex kitten Mimi Márquez, an HIV-positive heroin addict and erotic dancer.
  The show became a cultural phenomenon, receiving several awards including the Pulitzer Prize for Drama and four Tony Awards, including Best Musical. Rubin-Vega and members of the original Broadway cast were suddenly overnight sensations, recording “Seasons of Love” alongside music icon Stevie Wonder, receiving a photo shoot with Vanity Fair and landing the May 13, 1996 cover of Newsweek. Throughout its 12-year Broadway run, many of the show’s original cast members and subsequent replacements would go on to be stars, including Renée Elise Goldsberry, who followed in Rubin-Vega’s footsteps to play the popular character before originating the role of Angelica Schuyler in Hamilton, for which she won the 2016 Tony Award for Best Featured Actress in a Musical.
When the screen adaptation of Rent hit cinemas in 2005 under the direction of Chris Columbus, Rubin-Vega’s conspicuous absence came as a blow to longtime fans. The confluence of pregnancy with the casting and filming process of Rent hindered her from participating at the time. The role was subsequently given to movie star Rosario Dawson.
“First of all, if you’re meant to be in a film, you’re meant to be in it,” Rubin-Vega said. “That’s just the way it goes. It took a quarter of a century but this [In the Heights] is a film that I wanted to make, that I felt the elements sat right. I always felt that Rent was a little bit darker than all that. Rent to me is Rated R. In The Heights is not. It’s also a testament. Unless it’s sucking your soul and killing you softly or hardly, just stick with it. This is a business and I keep forgetting it’s a business because actors just want to show art. So, it’s really wonderful when you get a chance to say what you mean and mean what you say with your work. It’s a really wonderful gift.”
Rarely-Explored Themes
Like Larson’s award-winning show and the film adapted from it, In The Heights is jam-packed with hard-hitting subject matter, addressing themes of urban blight, immigration, gentrification, cultural identity, assimilation and U.S. political history. When Rubin-Vega’s character Daniela and her partner were priced out of the rent for her salon, most of her clientele moved to the Grand Concourse Historic District in the Bronx. Her salon, a bastion of the community, is met with a polar response when she announces she’s joining the mass exodus with the other victims of gentrification who were pushed out by rising rents. The news is met with negative response from long-time patrons who refuse to take the short commute to the new location. Daniela counters, “Our people survived slave ships, we survived Taino [indigenous Caribbean people] genocide, we survived conquistadores and dictators…you’re telling me we can’t survive the D train to Grand Concourse?”
The question is humorous, but also insinuates a more nuanced understanding of the AfroLatinidad experience in the Western world. The film also looks at the American Dream with a naturalistic approach. Leslie Grace, who plays Nina Rosario, a first-generation college student returning from her freshman year at Stanford University and grappling with finances and the expectations of her community, noted that while her character “finds [herself] at some point at a fork in the road,” she may not have the luxury to be indecisive because of the pressures put on by family, community and country.  
“The struggle of the first-generation Americans in the Latino community is not talked about a lot because it’s almost like a privilege,” Grace asserted. “You feel like it’s a privilege to talk about it. But there is a lot of identity crisis that comes with it and I think we explore that.” Speaking on the character, she elaborated: “Home for her is where her heart is, but also where her purpose is. So, she finds her purpose in doing something outside of herself, greater than herself and going back to Stanford for the people she loves in her community. I really relate to where she’s at, trying to find herself. And I think a lot of other people will, too.”
Worth Singing About
For Miranda, a first-generation Puerto Rican New Yorker that grew up in Inwood at the northernmost tip of Manhattan before attending Wesleyan University where he would develop the musical, this speaks to a larger issue of what defines a home.
“What does ‘home’ even mean? Every character is sort of answering it in a different way,” he said. “For some people, home is somewhere else. For some people, home is like ‘the block’ they’re on. So, that’s worth singing about. It’s worth celebrating in a movie of this size.”
Given the current zeitgeist, it’s no wonder why Chu, Hudes and Miranda decided to pivot with adapting the stage musical for the big screen, leaning in to tackle the plights and predicaments of DREAMers [children of undocumented immigrants seeking citizenship] stateside. In one scene, glimpses of posters at a protest rally read “Immigrant Rights are Human Rights” and “Refugees Are People Too.” Growing up in a multicultural household as a Latina with a Black Latina mother, a white father and a Jewish American stepfather, Rubin-Vega said she was used to being in spaces that were truly multiracial. Nevertheless, there were times when she often felt alien, especially as a du jour rock musical ingenue who looked as she did in the mid-1990s through the 2000s.
“Undocumented people come in different shapes and colors,” she noted. “To be born in a land that doesn’t recognize you, it’s a thing that holds so much horror… so much disgrace happens on the planet because human beings aren’t recognized as such sometimes.”
The film “definitely sheds light on that, but it also talks about having your dream taken away and its human violation—it’s a physical, spiritual, social, cultural violation,” Rubin-Vega said. “There’s a difference between pursuing dreams and being aware of reality. They’re not mutually exclusive. What this film does, it presents a story that is fairly grounded in reality. It’s a musical, it’s over the top… but it reflects a bigger reality, which is like an emotional reality…that people that are challenged on the daily, have incredible resolve, incredible resoluteness and lifeforce.”
She said: “Growing up, looking like me, I got to ingest the same information as everyone else except when it came time to implement my contributions, they weren’t as welcomed or as seen. The dream is to be seen and to be recognized. Maybe I could be an astronaut or an ingenue on Broadway? You can’t achieve stuff that you haven’t imagined. When it talks about DREAMers, it talks about that and it talks about how to not be passive in a culture that would have you think you are passive but to be that change and to dare to be that change.”
Dreams Come True
Dreams are coming true. Alongside the nationwide release of the much-anticipated film, Random House announced it will publish In the Heights: Finding Home, which will give a behind-the-scenes look at the beginnings of Miranda’s 2008 breakout Broadway debut and journey to the soon-to-be-released film adaptation. The table book will chronicle the show’s 20-year voyage from page to stage—from Miranda’s first drawings at the age of 19 to lyric annotations by Miranda and essays written by Hudes to never-before-seen photos from productions around the world and the 2021 movie set. It will be released to the public on June 22, eleven days after the release of the film; an audiobook will be simultaneously released by Penguin Random House Audio.
Hinting at the year-long delay due to the pandemic, Rubin-Vega said, “It’s been a year waiting, you know. It’s like the lid’s been on it and so we’re just so ready to explode.”
Bigger Dreams
“Jon [Chu], I think, dreams bigger than any of us dare to dream in terms of the size and scope of this,” Miranda said. “We spent our summer [in 2018] on 175th Street. You know, he was committed to the authenticity of being in that neighborhood we [all] grew up in, that we love, but then also when it comes to production numbers, dreaming so big. I mean, this is a big movie musical!”
Miranda continued, “We’re so used to asking for less, just to ask to occupy space, you know? As Latinos, we’re, like, ‘Please just let us make our little movie.’ And Jon, every step of the way, said, like, ‘No, these guys have big dreams. We’re allowed to go that big!’ So, I’m just thrilled with what he did ’cause I think it’s bigger than any of us ever dreamed.”
Speaking at the online press conference, Miranda said, “I’m talking to you from Washington Heights right now! I love it here. The whole [movie] is a love letter to this neighborhood. I think it’s such an incredible neighborhood. It’s the first chapter in so many stories. It’s a Latinx neighborhood [today]. It was a Dominican neighborhood when I was growing up there in the ’80s. But before that it was an Irish neighborhood and Italian. It’s always the first chapter in so many American stories.”
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shewholovestoread · 3 years
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Fear Street Trilogy Review
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Beware, spoilers ahead.
I love horror movies but good horror movies are so hard to come by. Fear Street grabbed my attention as soon as they released the first trailer, it looked like a call-back to the slasher films of old, back when they were still good. And the best part was the apparent presence of lesbians, count me in!
Fear Street is based on the books by the same name by R. L. Stine, a lot of us remember Stine for another horror classic, Goosebumps. The Fear Street novels were aimed at older audiences and were way more bloody than Goosebumps- lots of teenagers dying. The films don’t adapt any particular book but rather the tone and rough setting and I think that works to its advantage.
The Setting:
Fear Street is based on the fictional town of Shadyside, the poorer and more unfortunate twin of its sister-town Sunnyside. Sunnyside is sunny, wealthy and where nothing bad ever happens. Shadyside in contrast is poorer, the homes more run-down and where, every few years, some resident snaps and goes on a murderous rampage, killing their own friends, family or whoever they can get their hands on. There are those who believe that Shadyside is cursed by Sarah Fier, a witch who was hanged in the 1600s when she cut off her hand and used it to curse the town.
Fear Street Part 1:
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1994 functions like the introduction and set-up for the trilogy. It introduces us to the characters, Deena (Kiana Madeira), Sam (Olivia Scott Welch), Josh (Benjamin Flores Jr.), Kate (Julia Rehwald) and Simon (Fred Hechinger). They unwittingly trigger the curse when they stumble across the bones of Sarah Fiers, soon killers are chasing them, killing-machines powered by the curse and who can’t be killed. Deena, Sam, Josh, Kate and Simon have to put aside their differences and work together to survive the night.
Fear Street Part 2: 1978
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1978 opens with the survivors of 1994 going to C. Berman (Gillian Jacobs), the lone survivor of the Camp Nightwing massacre. It provides insight into the massacre that saw dozens of Shadyside kids being killed. 1978 takes us back to the day leading up to the bloody night. We meet the Berman sisters, Ziggy and Cindy (Sadie Sink and Emily Rudd respectively), Alice (Ryan Simpkins) and Tommy (McCabe Syle) When an axe-wielding murderer starts butchering the camp residents, Cindy and Alice, while trying to escape, stumble into the cave system that runs under the camp and discover Sarah’s hand and that the only way to break the curse is to reunite the hand with her body. However, they are unable to break the curse when they realise that the body is not buried where they thought it would be. Alice, Cindy and Ziggy are killed by the cursed murderers with only Ziggy being revived thus being labeled the lone survivor. In the present day, Deena and Josh dig out the hand from where Ziggy and Cindy left it, when Deena reunites the hand with the body, she sees visions of Sarah Fiers, leading us into the third and final film.
Fear Street Part 3: 1666
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1666, the year it all started. We see the events play out leading up to the hanging. Deena is inside Sarah’s body, seeing and experiencing her life as if it were own. We learn that it was never Sarah’s curse, but in fact it was the Goodes who had made a deal with the devil, securing power for themselves (their descendants are the mayor and sheriff in 1994) Sarah Fiers was just the scapegoat. Every time someone saw a vision of Sarah, she was trying to show them the truth and un-dead killers hunted them to keep them from exposing it.
The films work individually but their impact really hits home once you’ve watched all 3. Leigh Janiak crafts such an intricate story and links 3 time periods, weaving them through each other seamlessly. With 3 films, she also has the time to invest in these different time periods and the characters that inhabit them.
The story, both in terms of individual films as well as the trilogy as a whole, is engaging and engrossing. It keeps the audience on their toes and the edge of their seats, waiting and dreading as the bodies pile up. Janiak also grounds the story so that it feels real even as the characters are fighting off un-dead killers, adding to the nail-biting tension.
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There’s plenty to admire for a horror film buff, from the Scream reference in 1994, to Friday the 13th in 1978 and The Witch (or VVitch) in 1666. There’s also a good amount of gore to be found along with some really inventive ways of killing, who knew bread cutters/slicers could be so menacing.
There’s so much attention to detail in terms of costume and production design that you really feel like you’re in 1994, 1978 or even 1666. All of these work to draw you in as the viewer, adding to the authenticity on screen. The clothes and places feel lived-in. The song choices are amazing with popular hits from 1994 and 1978, the soundtrack definitely elevates the visuals. The original score in 1666 was absolutely gorgeous, especially Deena and Sam’s theme.
The sequence of the films with 1994 being the first, followed by 1978 and finally 1666 was a great choice with each film revealing a little more of the puzzle till all the pieces are revealed in 1666. It keeps the tension alive and keeps the characters and the audience constantly guessing. It also allows Janiak to sprinkle just enough subtle clues that become apparent when rewatching the films.
The characters are one of the best things in the trilogy, they are so well written, and I mean that for almost all of the main cast which is rare. One of the best things that Janiak does is repeat actors, especially the principle cast. For instance, a lot of actors we see in 1994 and 1978 appear in 1666 playing different roles but with a similar dynamic. It helps tell the story without worrying about too many new faces and worrying about whether or not the audience will be able to keep track of them. The return of old faces also ensures that the audience is already a little invested in them and their well-being.
Small side-note: I really appreciated that there was no sexual violence. It always worries me when I start a horror show/film and it was such a relief that they did not go that route. There is a lot of violence and a lot of people and kids die but it’s always just slightly campy enough that keeps it from being genuinely disturbing.
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One of the things that always irk me with slasher films (especially the old ones) are how white they were, no characters of colour and if there were any, they always died. There were also no queer characters. Fear Street undoes that beautifully, all of our main characters are outsiders, they are people of colour, they are queer. In another film, they would have been nameless characters, among the first to die. Here they are the heroes. I loved all of them and I hated that Alice, Kate and Simon died, to be honest, I expected the core group to survive, Kate especially.
Fear Street is also unapologetically feminist and Janiak does this without it being too obvious. The central conflicts in the story are between women (sister/ friends/ ex-girlfriends) but they also band together and fight for each other. It’s worth noting that most of the core relationships are between women (Deena-Sam, Ziggy-Cindy-Alice, Sarah-Hannah) and those are not coincidences.
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I loved how gay this trilogy was, Deena and Sam’s love for each other was the driving force and was at the heart of the story. Even in 1666, Sarah’s crime was not so much witchcraft as it was daring to love someone you’re not supposed to and fighting back against the proprietary nature of the men who sought to control them. Sarah and Hannah loved each other fiercely and we see that same love reflected hundreds of years later in Deena and Sam who fight for each other relentlessly. I also appreciated that Deena and Sam were exes instead of a new relationship. It meant that they already had history, they shared a familiarity and comfort with each other that a new relationship would have had to build onscreen.
The Fear Street Trilogy is one of the best horror trilogies I’ve seen in a while, each film is consistently great and delivers gore and violence coupled with immense heart. It has one of the best queer relationships I’ve seen on screen and spoiler alert, they get a happy ending. I’m sick and tired of lesbian women dying or separating because of realism. Damn realism, give me happy women loving women and who live through their traumatic ordeal. Watch Fear Street for them if for nothing else. Now excuse me as I prepare to rewatch the trilogy.
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mediaevalmusereads · 3 years
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The Alienist. By Caleb Carr. New York: Random House, 1994.
Rating: 4/5 stars
Genre: historical fiction, mystery, suspense
Part of a Series? Yes, The Kreizler Series #1
Summary:   The year is 1896. The city is New York. Newspaper reporter John Schuyler Moore is summoned by his friend Dr. Laszlo Kreizler—a psychologist, or “alienist”—to view the horribly mutilated body of an adolescent boy abandoned on the unfinished Williamsburg Bridge. From there the two embark on a revolutionary effort in criminology: creating a psychological profile of the perpetrator based on the details of his crimes. Their dangerous quest takes them into the tortured past and twisted mind of a murderer who will kill again before their hunt is over.
***Full review under the cut.***
Content Warnings: ableism, homophobia/transphobia, racism (including slurs), sexism, rape, abuse, child abuse and sexual assault, child prostitution, animal cruelty, blood, gore, violence
Overview: This book has been on my TBR list for a while, so I figured I’d finally get around to reading it. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but I was actually surprised by how much I enjoyed the reading experience. Carr writes in a way that pretty closely imitates 19th century detective fiction, and while such a style might not be for everyone, I thought it went a long way in creating atmosphere. My criticisms have mostly to do with pace and the creative decisions that probably didn’t have to be made (such as depictions of child sexual assault, use of slurs, etc), but even with those faults, I have to give Carr’s craft and research a lot of credit, so this book gets 4 stars from me.
Writing: As I mentioned above, this book mimics detective fiction of the 19th century. If you’ve read any of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories, you might get the idea: first person, characters displaying almost whimsical behavior, stuffed with contextual details that may or may not be relevant. At first, I thought the reading experience was going to be a slog, but once I realized what Carr was trying to do, I readjusted my expectations and found the prose to be quite engaging. If you like 19th century literature, you might appreciate what Carr does, but if you find older lit to be a challenge, this book might not be the thriller you’re hoping for.
That being said, I do think there were some areas where Carr could have picked up the pace or even cut some of the contextual details. It’s obvious that Carr did a lot of research before writing this book, and it’s understandable that he would want to show off some of that research, but there were times where I felt like it was a little much.
I also think there are a lot of things in this book that will offend modern sensibilities. I recall at least one use of the N-word (which is spoken by a racist minor character) as well as remarks that make it clear that characters think same-sex intimacy is “deviant” or abhorrent. I can understand why Carr put them in his book; if we’re trying to evoke an atmosphere and make the story feel like it’s set in the 19th century, it’s not realistic to expect everyone to be accepting of gay sex or treat POC with respect. But also, I think it’s on Carr to bear the responsibility of creating plot points and characters that have those attitudes in the first place. The character who uses the N-word could have easily not done so, and characters could have been more clear that their revulsion was at child prostitution rather than same-sex relationships.
Still, I was able to follow the plot with no problem and the sentences flowed in a way that made the reading experience feel quick (no 10-line sentences, thank god). So while there may be some things I would have liked to see adjusted to fit my own tastes, I think Carr did a wonderful job of making me feel like I was reading an older work.
Plot: The plot of this book follows a group of investigators as they try to use psychology to catch a serial killer. As far as being an “original” or unique thriller, this book doesn’t necessarily deliver a plot we haven’t seen before; but what made it so interesting (at least to me) was that it was less interested in the thrill of catching the killer and more interested in thinking through the “whys.” Why did the killer do X? Why did he do Y and Z when he could have done A or B? In this sense, the suspense doesn’t come from the action or the “chase,” but from the building of ideas and a foggy picture becoming more and more clear.
If I can fault Carr for anything, it’s that I think he crafted his mystery around some subjects that are... touchy (for lack of a better word). Most of the murder victims are children - specifically child prostitutes - and a lot of the killer’s motivations are rooted in some combination of racism and exposure to abuse. If you’re looking for a book which handles these issues with sensitivity, I think you’ll be disappointed. But I have to give Carr some credit for not overly sensationalizing these things; for example, while he did include characters who were racist towards Native Americans, he also included characters who were sympathetic and who insisted on not judging tribes for their defensive violence. Not everything is perfect, and there were some moments that made me uncomfortable, but I felt like Carr painted a complex picture of 19th century America, so I was able to keep going.
Characters: The plot of this book is told from the perspective of John Schuyler Moore - a newspaper reporter who teams up with his friend, eminent psychologist Dr. Laszlo Kreizler, to catch a serial killer. As a protagonist, Moore isn’t overly compelling - he’s more like a neutral, blank slate that the reader can project themselves onto. He serves much of the same function as Watson in the Sherlock Holmes stories: to be a witness to other characters’ brilliance while occasionally making some helpful insights. Still, I didn’t outright hate Moore - he was kind and loyal, and I admired how he went out of his way to try to help people.
Kreizler, the psychologist (or “alienist” as they were called in those days), is somewhat of a Sherlockian character in that he’s eccentric, confident, and had abilities that stun the people around him. For the most part, Kreizler was fun to follow. I think the only times I got truly frustrated with him were when he would allude to some knowledge and then leave Moore in the dark - like “aha! This thing is obvious!” “What thing?” “No time to explain! I’ll tell you at dinner!” Those moments were a little irritating.
Sarah, the most prominent female character, was more complex than I expected her to be. She has clear career aspirations and doesn’t let anyone hold her back, and I liked that she was presented as this kick-ass woman who still felt human. She struggles when faced with the horrors of the murder, but she doesn’t let the horror put her off of her task. She’s confident and never seems to have a moment of self-doubt (which is refreshing). She notices interpersonal things without being boxed in as “the woman who notices emotions.” Granted, Sarah does serve some token function - she’s brought on in order to provide a “female perspective,” which was a little frustrating, but she held her own so well that my annoyance melted away.
Marcus and Lucius, the two brothers who work for the police department, are also quite charming characters. I loved how they brought technical expertise to the group by being knowledgeable about anatomy, fingerprints, photography, and the like, and I especially enjoyed the way they bickered with one another. Their presence immediately made scenes feel lighter, and they brought something of a family aspect to the whole band.
Supporting characters were well-crafted in that no two felt quite the same. Teddy Roosevelt (yes, that one) was cheerful and warm while still demanding absolute cooperation and loyalty from his men. Cyrus and Stevie - two of Kreizler’s employees - were charming, though I wish Cyrus had gotten to do more than just kind of silently stand by awaiting orders. Mary - Kreizler’s maid - was a lovely character, and I appreciated the positive disability representation we got with her, though I do not like how her character arc ended and how it related to the main plot. The crime bosses were intimidating without feeling too much like stock characters, the thugs did their job. I don’t think there was a character that was poorly written, just characters who served purposes that may or may not have been needed.
As for the murderer... we don’t get to see him very much, but I felt like I got to know him because so much of the book was focused on mapping out his life and psychology. It worked much better than books where the antagonist is looming off to the side, acting as a vaguely threatening force but not really a character, and one that doesn’t even show up until the last quarter of the book. When the killer finally does appear on page, I felt like he had been involved in the story, even without being physically present, so I was able to accept him as an active force on the narrative, not just a surprise twist at the end.
TL;DR: The Alienist is a well-crafted mystery that uses atmosphere and psychology to create an engaging mystery. While some readers may struggle with the period-like prose or the more disturbing aspects of the story, Carr creates a compelling narrative by focusing on understanding and knowledge over spectacle and action, and by using well-developed characters.
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callmearcturus · 4 years
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sigh
part of me wants to just type "horror fans who try to gatekeep people who got into TMA for The Gay are assholes" and be done with it
but lets actually say
Hi. I'm that person. I got into TMA because I heard it had a canonically ace character and a big queer romance.
I can't consume most horror. Visual horror, like movies and games, actually key my anxiety so bad, I can't function. When I was like 16, I read a Junji Ito comic without knowing who that was, and I didn't sleep for three days. That's not a joke. That's my life.
On top of that, horror has been a genre that I associate with the dead bodies of women and black people, to be quite honest? I understand its a wide genre, but mainstream horror has been mostly a path to dead people for a long time. It's great that's changing now in the mainstream with stuff like Get Out, Midsommar, the Purge (when its good), etc. But in my generation, most people shortcut to Saw and Hostel.
So you have a situation where people who aren't already horror fans have a lot of reason to not want to engage with it. Until they hear about this podcast, see.
I'm that person you hate. I got into TMA expecting to fail out of it if it was too scary, but gave it a shot for the queerness. But I wound up adoring it. Utterly loving it. And I didn't magically skip all the scary shit, folks. I listened to the whole thing and I enjoyed the scary bits too. Turns out, without the visual element, I can handle horror a lot more. I think it helps that the statements are self-selecting for the most part. It's mostly survivors.
I made a pact with myself in 2019 to try to only get into media that had queerness, that I could see myself in. And TMA was part of that.
It is not bad for people to have discovered TMA because the romance. For me, and for others, hearing about that was a way TMA conveys "hey, you belong here too, as more than a corpse." And that's important and powerful, and through TMA you will get more horror fans.
I mean. If you can stop being assholes to them, anyway.
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tomatograter · 4 years
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How do ya capture the "voice" of homestuck characters so well? Besides studying the comic, is there any other media you consume to really get in their head?
First off: Thanks, i’m happy you enjoy my stuff! Secondly… there ARE a few steps i take to the madness.
I basically come from a Dungeon master/Open-world roleplay management background, so when approaching HS cast voices and trying to understand a character to write a story for them i usually take into account 1.INSPIRATIONS, 2.INTERESTS & due to homestuck’s nature, 3.INTERPRETATIONS (As opposed to “player intent”- Hussie’s work is an amalgam of himself and the public input.)
Rereading their logs/sections always helps when you’re trying to figure out their language, pacing, and a bit of their temperament, but getting too lost on mimicking their messages as-is without looking into the character itself may risk leaving them ringing hollow or repetitive (specially for the section of the public that may be more familiar with this character than you are. This is something that may matter to you or not, if you WANT this work to appeal to a specific public or are just messing around.) Because it may just come down to mindless quirk indulgence. In my experience, readers are more forgiving & enthralled by creators who, while not following the specifics of a character’s quirk to a T maintain a sense of internal logic that is congruent with what is shown throughout their appearances. Some AU’s specifically remix, remove or substitute these aspects, and the reason why people usually don’t complain about it is that “it makes sense- given (x) and (x) context.” Like kidswap aus, etc. 
Another thing about Quirks is that they can very easily be broken. Having a grasp of how quirk rules affect a character based on their emotional state and how it changes over time is more valuable than internalizing a hard set of rules that never changes. (Ex: Sollux’ quirk evolves over time. So does Aradia’s, as she changes bodies. June’s quirk takes on Vriska-like qualities after they begin chatting, Vriska uses 8’s and exclamation points more liberally and/or nonsensically when she’s angry/distressed/desperate, Jake’s transatlantic slang and embellishment of speech is mostly at the backseat unless he’s pretending/anxious/overwhelmed, otherwise he’s pretty simple.) Knowing how to break a quirk is just as good as knowing how to write it - traditional prose in fics *may not use quirks at all*, but they’re so good at grasping the particular intonation a character uses when stringing words together at a given situation that you don’t mind that at all. It’s a smooth adaptation.
[GREAT RESOURCE: this google drive has a compilation of all logs between characters in Homestuck separated by participants but usually only lists them on one-on-one basis, so you may wanna look at groupchats in the original comic. I think the epilogues section may be still unfinished. I forget who originally posted it on twitter but i know they have a dedicated tumblr, i’ll edit this if someone can name their blog]
“INSPIRATIONS” are usually how i define character personalities by their distinct mix of archetypes. This is the “PROTAGONIST”, “GOTH GIRL”, “SILLY GIRL”, “COOL GUY”, “WEIRDO”, “GAMER GIRL”, “CODING WANNABE” and other such little buzzwords that HS will throw around in reference to each of its characters, and that usually, but not always, function as a setup to subvert the expectations based on that character come a certain point in the story. Where does the character you’re trying to write fall into, when you try to describe them in these terms? Does their story humour this definition, reject it, destroy it, or evolve it? Does this seem like a genuine fact about them, or a facade? Why do you think that is? (Asking questions is my preferred way of pulling apart and understanding a character, this may work differently for you.)
“INTERESTS” is where i look into for that chunky, fatty, well-grilled meat that goes in the middle of a character’s text. Homestuck characters are defined by what they like, what they aspire to be, and what they fail at becoming(& how that shapes their actions going forwards). Interacting with the media they like may not always be the way, but having a general idea of how it functions and what it means to them is usually very helpful. I was already familiar with a lot of things my favorite characters enjoy, and thus it was easier for me to get attached to them. I also had to watch a lot of shitty movies sometimes. You win some, you lose some.
EX: It’s easier to write Dave’s pov if you have a good grasp of the pop culture & economics he so often references. (What he likes) It’s easier to write Rose’s pov when you’ve searched a bit of armchair psychology wikipedia definitions and familiarized yourself with the genre and existential questions usually involved in Eldritch Horror, and how it evolved outside of Lovecraft. (What she aspires to be like) It’s easier to write Jake when you understand his persona is a collage of juvenile and outdated archetypes taken from action flicks & shitty mainstream comicbooks, that he ultimately fails to ever live up to and hinders his development as a kid at odds with self-imposed traditional masculinity, dreading to publicize the big “Gay” word. (What he fails at becoming)
It’s always useful to ask yourself “Why does this character like (x)” and what that particular thing may say about them. It doesn’t have to be a big groundbreaking revelation, just put yourself into their shoes and try to reverse engineer what you’re presented about them vs their environment, personal issues, and you might just find yourself understanding why they do what they do. 
“Karkat probably likes cheesy romantic comedies because they’re peak middleclass normalass media for someone who’s ostracized from troll society and is purposefully a shithead to keep people away”
“Terezi probably likes dragons because they’re FUCKING COOL but also whoops here’s all this historic lore about Redglare and their lusus and a tragic sense of JUST1C3”
“Aradia probably grapples with the concept of mortality and the ephemeral nature of life, so she’s really into the morbid observation of disasters & archeology & bones, i guess? Is this because she died really young? Oh. Maybe yeah.”
But if you find the above too hard to access on your own, that’s where 
INTERPRETATIONS come in to make this process smoother in the case you just wanna write an extended cast thing and frankly you could not give less of a shit about (x)’s lore, you just want to have a sense of what people like about them, and why people read about them, and how you can purposefully adapt that into your text so socmedia user halfucker69 isn’t crying on your mentions for 11 whole threaded comments about how you did their babyboybaby wrong. I can’t exactly point to you where you can FIND meta because this highly depends on the character, and sometimes you just have to make your own food, but you’ll be good if you try to look into creators who post about these characters, whose thoughts or fan media seem to be congruent with your idea of said character or solid enough that you can easily see how it’s been developed from point A to point B. Interact with more fanworks. Find out what works for you and what doesn’t. “Character study” is a whole genre of fanfic, if you don’t wanna go for shippy stuff - but a lot of “shippy stuff” has its own valuable edge to seeing how people internalize a character, and shouldn’t be as easily dismissable as it is. Again, you’ll have to rely on your own sense of internal logic here - you can’t take EVERY work as the universal truth, but trying stuff out will give you a better sense of who you think this character is.
Then you have to get around trying to write it, which is easier said than done. A lot of times writing about a character will lead you to understanding them better, and you may even find yourself disagreeing with things past-you said when you were first beginning to think about them, and that’s ok. You only get better at writing by asking better questions and then writing some more. Take your time with it. I hope this helps!
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themagichour · 3 years
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I had a dream about being in a production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show last night, and it's gotten me to thinking about it. I do that a lot. I wrote a little bite-sized "essay" on it last year, which I'd like to share here. It's taken me till my early 30s to realize my queerness and the fluidity of my gender... and I'm lucky to have had this film as a foundation from the time I was, um, a toddler.
Exhibit A: a drawing I did at age 4. Fat Frank N. Furter my beloved. <3
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I mention this a lot, but my parents introduced me to The Rocky Horror Picture Show around age two; it became my first-ever favorite film, and I watched it over and over and over and over and over again, exhausting the VHS tape the way another child might stretch thin some clamshell-cased Disney din.
Most people consider this bad parenting, but I am so thankful for it. Before I had any functioning grasp on language, and FAR before I knew ANYTHING of society, I watched boys and girls wearing pretty outfits and makeup, singing the most fun songs, dancing and smiling and living life fully and enthusiastically.
It wasn’t all fun, of course – there was fear, jealousy, anger, sadness, violence, and death – but that was life. And ultimately, those things were worth the joy and experience of being alive. And I’m glad I learned that sooner rather than later.
Sexuality was not a concept at that age, and I had only a base understanding of the difference between “boys” and “girls”. When I watched Rocky Horror, I saw that boys and girls were the same, and that sometimes boys were girls, sometimes girls were boys, and sometimes they were both, and sometimes they were neither.
Boys kissed girls, and boys kissed boys, and girls kissed boys, and girls kissed girls. People kissed people. That was love. And bodies were fleshy and present and alive: they were what made us, and they let us do things like sing and love and dance and laugh. And we could make them pretty like Christmas trees, dress them in anything we liked. Dress them and paint them in whatever way made us happy, and use them to do whatever made us and others happy.
Unfortunately, as I grew, society very quickly taught me shame surrounding my own gift of a conscious, human body. But luckily, what society NEVER did, was convince me that gender and sexuality had to be a certain way. My favorite childhood movie had already shown me the truth of those things, before I knew really anything of the world, and before I knew what the characters were saying when they spoke and sang.
In the summers and winters, we’d fly to Ohio and live with Grandma for a few weeks or months. Kip and Kevin rented the other side of her duplex, and they had two happy dogs, one big one and one small one. I’d play with them in our shared backyard, and loved how they wore little knit booties in the snow. I threw balls and sticks for them with Kip and Kevin and Mom, and those are some of my happiest memories.
I knew Kip and Kevin loved each other the way Mommy and Daddy loved each other. There was nothing “odd” or “strange” or “different” about it at all; certainly nothing “wrong” or “bad". It just was.
When I first became aware of the words “gay”, “lesbian”, and “homosexual” — when I first became aware of slurs — I could not for the life of me understand it. I didn’t understand why there were words for it, and I especially did not understand why there were bad words for it. I hadn’t even realized there was an “it” at all. And I hadn't realized there was a difference between me having a crush on Brad and me having a crush on Columbia. It was “okay” that I thought Brad was pretty, but “not okay” that I thought Columbia was pretty? Not okay that I wanted to look and dress like both of them?
Over the years, society tried to make me ashamed of who I was, and who and what my beloved characters in Rocky Horror represented. Worse, it wanted me to hate those things. And I refused. But the one black-cloud-looming idea that sadly did poison me was that of fear. I spent my childhood, teenage years, and young adult life afraid to let anyone know that, yeah, I wanted to kiss Brad – but I wanted to kiss Columbia, too. (And maaaaaaybe I had a little thing for Frank. But let's keep that under our hats.)
I’m happy to say I fear that less and less with each passing year. And I’m trying to take back love for my body, too. I’m trying to remember what I saw before I was “taught” anything: that I can do what makes me happy with it, and that I can love what and who makes me happy with it.
My mother always says how she “didn’t know gay people existed” till she was twenty-two and in college. Just a few months following this realization, in 1975, The Rocky Horror Picture Show was released. It played for just one weekend in the United States before it was pulled from theaters.
Imagine if my mother had not been cisgender and heterosexual in small-town Ohio in 1975. Imagine she had instead been her close friend Mel. Mel, whose close friend Kathleen had not even known he'd “existed” till they'd both entered college.
Imagine what Rocky Horror’s release and stuttering rise to cult fame did for people like him. Barely anyone noticed its birth at the time, but when it was rediscovered one year later, it became a space for those in the queer community to celebrate themselves. And it taught those who weren’t a thing or two, as well. They also came to love it. And in those cramped midnight cinemas, there were humans. Nothing more, nothing less. “And crawling on the planet’s face…”
So, yeah. Rocky Horror is important, and it always irks me when people pan it as “stupid” or “weird” or “annoying” or “overrated”. While my Mom was learning in college the truth of gender and sexuality, I was learning in college that the old Hammer and Universal movie monsters were often portrayed as being effeminate, posing a threat to society, and having a knack for disrupting the engagement between two young, straight, white, apple-pie-wholesome lovers.
Sound familiar?
Thank god for the passage of time. A pox upon the steps the rotten bits of modern society shoves us down. But we brush off our knees and resume climbing. And thank god for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, you know? Bad parenting? Nah. What my parents and Richard O’Brien gave me was a gift: I saw humanity in its (literal) naked truth, nearly right out the womb. For the first few years of my existence, I knew that biology, sexuality, gender, individuality, fun, and love were what made life. And it was so very, very pretty.
I was watching The Mighty Boosh with my niece in 2009. She was just shy of six years old, and when Vince Noir kissed Howard Moon upon a rear-projected rooftop, she didn’t bat an eye. I sat there on the couch with her and smiled as she took in the wacky costumes and colors and musical numbers with joy, and I believed in humanity. I continue to, despite everything. And I know that art does, in all cheesy sincerity, move mountains.
Exhibit B: 20 years after my Fat Frank doodle... painting my face and badly but lovingly singing and playing the intro number. (I was trying to emulate Tim O'Brien's voice, for the record, that's not my natural singing voice lol.)
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Anyway... it means a lot to me. And sometimes I just gotta think aloud about it. If you've never watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show, you should go and do that!
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oneweekoneband · 3 years
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In the first cold hours of a new December morning, Taylor Swift once again revealed herself to be the primary antagonist in my hero’s journey. Weary and woebegone as I am, I will not waste strength on any attempt to deny that this latest attack has knocked me off balance, but I believe it is important that I—we, really, the lot of us who have been bloodied pitiably beneath this most brutal show of force—rebound immediately into a defensive posture so that there might be any hope at all for survival. Taylor’s second pandemic album will be released at midnight tonight, so I guess Shakespeare and his little “play” about elder abuse can get fucked after all. The album is called evermore. It was hubris, I can see in retrospect, which led me to tempt my enemy by writing all these words about her on this, the week of her birthday, knowing as I do that Taylor is one of those especially dangerous adults who make a big deal about both birthdays and lucky numbers. Icarus is my name now, covered in melted wax and tumbling to the sea. So as to steel ourselves for these horrors yet to come, I offer now, with not arrogance but the faith of the foolhardy, my best conjecture as to the content of each detestable track. 
willow - Could be about a tree. Could be about a girl. More likely it is both somehow, which is extremely pervy, and not just because that’s part of the plot of the unspeakably cursed The Raven Cycle novels, which I, a full blown adult with, generally speaking, normal brain function, voluntarily read for the first time this summer because some of us, ma’am, used the pandemic for activities that hurt only ourselves, not others. Well, happy holidays, tree fuckers.
champagne problems - Whatever this is, know that I will be considering it a work after Fall Out Boy’s “Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends” and I’ll be right to do so and many people will say as much admiringly and they’ll smile at me with pride and doff their caps as I go.
gold rush - If this song is anything but a loving, comprehensive summation of the children’s novel DEAR AMERICA Seeds of Hope: The Gold Rush Diary of Susanna Fairchild then I’m going to walk directly out of my home and, deadly virus be damned, keep walking until I’ve entered Taylor Swift’s instead, at which point I will begin to scream out a litany of complaints at the very top of my voice, ceasing only when her security team kills me or we fall in love.
tis the damn season - Worst case scenario this is a sad Christmas song (the best kind of Christmas song) and it devastates me in the most degrading way possible. Best case scenario it’s really bad and dumb and I can live without pain.
tolerate it - Many possibilities here. Could be about white-knuckling it through a period of depression, or a breakup. Most obviously, it could be about COVID-19 lockdowns keeping us trapped in our homes, disconnected from loved ones, going slow-brained and strange, bowls piling up, and suddenly so desperate for human interaction that even memories of having drinks with somebody from Hinge who quoted Friends twice in an hour are tantalizing in comparison to the touch-starved dreamstate of staying indoors... But I kinda feel like this is Taylor replying “COPE” from on high to my tweets about how I would rather be boiled alive than have to face the existence of this record.
no body, no crime (feat. Haim) - What would be very good is if this is a homosexual romp about Taylor Swift and the one hot Haim guitar girl with the really gay energy doing a murder together a la “Somethin’ Bad” by Miranda Lambert with Carrie Underwood, but honestly, it is probably another song about Gone Girl.
happiness - Impossible to speak on this since, thanks to Taylor Swift, happiness is something with which I have no familiarity. 
dorothea - Have seen chirping on the odious bird application about how perhaps this song title suggests that Taylor has written a song about Middlemarch, titling it for Dorothea Brooke, but I reject this because it implies that Taylor has read Middlemarch, which is a premise I cannot accept. Whether this refusal is out of self-preservation, being unwilling and in fact unable to face a world where Taylor Swift read and was moved to creation by the novel which was my most essential friend the summer I got dumped by a guy who I still had to work feet away from in a candle factory for another month, and about which Emily Dickinson (Emily Dickinson whose birthday it happens to be today, which isn’t to say that this means anything about anything. I am simply trying to batten down all hatches literally and spiritually in light of having been had once again by this numerology obsessed demon) once wrote "What do I think of Middlemarch? What do I think of glory.” or because I just at my core do not believe that Taylor has read a single book since Gone Girl I couldn’t possibly say.
coney island (feat. The National) : Some ungodly americana ass bullshit that is going to ruin my life. The thought of holy terror shaped like a horse girl Taylor Swift and trickster nymph in the body of a tax accountant Matt Berninger, two individuals I have allowed, separately, to cause me grievous psychic harm, having even the barest amount of one to one contact, even digitally, has made me want to peel all my skin off and put it back on flipped inside out so that I might, when I look in the mirror, see a version of myself which approximates how I feel.
ivy - Another song for the plant lesbians. That’s fine, and I’m happy for that community, but what I want to know, looking at this growing pile of songs named after women, is where, Taylor, is the song about loudmouth queen Inez, legendary gossip and, for my money, the star of folklore?  
cowboy like me - Putting it as mildly as humanly possible, to slit my throat would be less cruel. I am drawing a straight line from me writing illegible sequels to perfect film An American Tail: Fievel Goes West (itself a sequel) in crayon as a toddler, to Paula Cole’s “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” on the radio in my mom’s two door Honda, to me everyday after school in third grade changing into the cowboy costume my godmother bought, to me at fourteen internalizing a sense of righteous indignation that would take years to even begin to outgrow when Crash beat Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture, to the winter I dropped half my classes out of fear and sickness and read paperback westerns on the twenty third floor of the college library for tens of hours at a go, to the profoundly gay episode of Supernatural called “Tombstone” which is, yes, named for the profoundly gay cowboy film Tombstone, to the inspired and revitalizing pause in “Space Cowboy” by Kacey Musgraves where she’s like, “You can have your space........ cowboy”, to Mitski’s Be the Cowboy, to the perfect boygenius cover of certified classic “Cowboy Take Me Away”, to whatever the hell this is going to be.That line is not to make a point at all. It’s just that there is a line and beside it there is me, incapacitated.
long story short - Just like all the other times anyone has ever invoked this phrase in the entire history of human beings expressing themselves with language, it is going to be a huge lie, because this woman never shuts up.
marjorie - After all that Taylor has put me through over the years, she should have at least named one of these wretched things “ellen” after my dead Sagittarian grandmother, whose birthday is tomorrow, December 11th, which is again, the release date of Taylor Swift’s second album in sixth months, but it’s probably for the best that she didn’t because you simpletons would immediately think it was an homage to George Bush’s friend Dory the fish, and therefore gay, regardless of the actual text of the song, and it’d be the “betty” massacre all over again. That being said, this is almost assuredly another horny song about some mid-century white lady. Only days ago Taylor was telling Entertainment Weekly that she’s been watching a lot of movies in quarantine, and while she didn’t name 1958’s Marjorie Morningstar starring Natalie Wood, I wouldn’t put it past her.
closure - God, I hope this one is another Kaylor classic so we can all act like complete raving lunatics online from the confines of our own plague quarters for a few days. It’s been a hard year.
evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - I’ll be catatonic by this point. Who cares?
right where you left me - Yes, in hell.
it’s time to go - Yes, TO HELL.
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nayarablueglasses · 3 years
Text
Duo x male reader
a/n: oh gods this is so. anyways this was meant for day thirteen of the @gundam-wing-pride event but certain circumstances have caused me to be unable to post in time for it. the tears prompt was kept in mind for this, i hope it suffices.
word count: 2,059
summary: horrific battles never made you cry, so how did a joke from Duo manage to do it?
warnings: reader is in an active war at first, brief mentions of reader becoming deaf to loud sounds after the battle, reader has a very dry way of thinking, i haven't seen the entirety of the show in ages so i think my timeline is a little messed up
reader pronouns: he/him but comes off as gn
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How’d you end up here?
You’d woken up to the extremely jarring sounds of the space station’s evacuation alarms. Considering the immediate panicking masses of people that then flooded the streets, it wasn’t the best way to wake up. Especially when you factor in that your first evacuation drill since the ‘safe space’ had been rebuilt, relocated and refortified was supposed to happen next week. Though to be fair, there were absolutely no signs that you knew of that would signal a a war erupting on your colony.
Honestly? You never were impressed by the Gundams. All you knew about them was that they were starting a war with what a few of the colonies had begun to call the “colony rebels.” The White Fang. Maybe the White Fang had started the war, but you could care less. No matter who’d started this, the colonies- your colony- was caught in the crossfires now.
And it wasn’t like you could trust the Gundams, either. It wasn’t that long ago that Gundam Pilot 04 almost blew up an entire colony because their father had been killed. If that was how the Gundams handled personal loss, your colony could only speculate on the ways they’d deal with the political difficulties of a war. And unsurprisingly, it turned out that they handled it absolutely terribly.
The scariest part was the absolute absurdness of the whole war. Two sides that claimed to speak for the colonies. The White Fang pressed attention on the colonies, while the Gundams remained an absolute mystery. Plus, the individual power struggles claiming the colonies, the Treize Faction war against Oz that was reportedly occuring back on Earth... everybody was misinformed about absolutely all of it, and the best you could do was try to make sense of the chaos unfolding and hope it never touched your poor colony.
But wishes don’t always come true. And certainly never the wishes you make.
Like the wish you’d been repeating back to yourself for the last hour- to be able to come out of this unscathed. Your arm had some thoughts on that.
As it turns out, trying to run through an active warzone to the safe space you didn’t know the location of was extremely dangerous. So dangerous that your arm had been hit with a stray bullet. Right now the main dangers were the footsoldiers firing at each other, but not that far off in the distance you could see two of the Gundams fighting a swarm of Taruses. The fact that they weren’t close was anything but comforting, since you’d seen the speed of the Gundams before on T.V.
Oh.
“Hey- get outta the way! Ya try’na get killed?” A White Fang footsoldier shoved you to the side, presumably trying to help. Instead you stumbled facedown into a very large pile of scrap metal. Which very much hurt your arm and effectively trapped your leg as well.
Fun. “The fuck kinda horror movie is this?” You muttered to yourself. Of course, of course you ran directly into the fray. Because of COURSE that was safer than the opposite direction (which in all fairness had been covered in sharp-looking rubble). That’s fine. You could work with this. What did your uncle usually tell you- take inventory in terms of crises?
You hadn’t brought a backpack with you, so, all you could take inventory on was what was in your pockets. One elastic, a single outdated coin, and fuzz. Plus, a bleeding arm and the bullet you figured was still in there, a possibly twisted and hopefully not broken foot, ringing in your ears... and the clothes on your back. Ok.
So this is how you die? Fine. That’s fucking fine. You had plenty to live for, but fine. Who cares?
“Woah-hoh, what the hell? Hey- hey handsome, you awake?”
A very neon green light pierced your consciousness. Out of habit, you tried to raise your arm to block it out- and then an even more painful, piercing feeling jolted through your whole body. “Ahh-huah- ‘m. ‘m awake now. Ohhh gods. Yeah. ‘m- yeah. Fuck. Who’re you and are you going to help me or kill me?”
“Kill you? Man, I might be the god of Death and all but I’m not going to kill you! You related to Heero or somethin’?”
“Don’t know- ow- who the fuck that is. What’s up with that green light shit> ‘M gonna be blinded if I open my eyes.”
And there the light went. Nice. If this guy didn’t kill you, you might actually survive. Sans your arm. Nobody on your colony could help your arm. You figured that life would be interesting from now on. “Great, thanks man. Fuuuuck. You- you see my arm? Yeah- I’m taking your silence as a yeah. This bitch’s fucked and moving at all is very very painful. So hey random stranger. You strong enough to carry me to the nearest amputator?”
Apparently you were just being dramatic. Your arm would 100% be still attached and your foot would survive. Your ears were… fine. After waking up in a hospital on an entirely different colony station, you learned that apparently, there exists a kind of deaf in which it was hard to hear things that were too loud. Which. You now had.
No more concerts. Meh.
The most jarring of everything was when you discovered that a) you were likely to have either trauma or ptsd and b) the guy that carried you to the hospital in his Gundam- was a Gundam Pilot. 02. Duo Maxwell. He’d brought you to Colony 14 Blue and was now reportedly “chillin’ outside until you get discharged.” with the promise that he’d bring you to the Peacemillion afterwards.
Oh. And almost everybody you knew closely had “likely” passed away in the attack. The therapy for that was going to be interesting when you consider that nobody of your family was on the colony at the time of the attack. Honestly the way they were pressing for you to be evaled made it feel like they were planning to make an example out of your supposedly poor mental state. Unsurprisingly the hospital was being run by the White Fang.
Discharge went quickly. The ride back to Duo’s Deathscythe went quickly. The ride in Duo’s Deathscythe went far, far too slowly. And adjusting to life on the Peacemillion went poorly.
Every now and again, Duo would look for you and, if he hadn’t immediately come from a fight (he passed out on your carpet once due to blood loss after being in a gunfight. Zechs was less than appreciative.), he’d bring you to the nearest colony. Being able to enjoy a day out on occasion was a rarity you usually only got to experience with Duo.
“Ooooi, Duo. Check these out. Tell me these aren’t the coolest gloves you’ve ever seen.” You held up some black fingerless gloves for him to inspect. He’d brought you to a new colony, where apparently a special holiday (complete with fun sales) was happening. Admittedly, some of the people on this station were giving you and Duo some especially strange looks whenever Duo would tug on your shirt or grab your hand to get your attention but like. Fuck them.
“Hey, those look pretty awesome!” he grinned and bounced over, snatching the gloves from your hands to look for a price tag. “To steal or not to steal, that is the question.”
You raised an eyebrow. So maybe the crush you’d developed on this overgrown child of a thief was growing. So what? It’s just a crush. Everything’s going to be fine. “Is the price tag expensive or something?”
Duo shook his head. “Exact opposite. There isn’t one.”
“Let’s just leave ten gilla and bolt, then.”
“...wicked.”
Normally the rides back home were silent and awkward, but after the rather exciting day you’d had, you were feeling especially chatty. Which wasn’t to say that there weren’t still awkward breaks in the conversation. It was quiet, sure, but a lot of things had been quiet lately. Being deaf to louder things tended to do that to a person.
Duo drew you out of your thoughts with another tug on your sleeve and pressed one of the gloves into your hand. “Here. Figured we’d both look badass with just one glove. Plus we match!” He held up his gloved left hand with an air of confidence. He wasn’t wrong, honestly. Wearing his braid the way he did, he already cut an impressive figure, but the gloves really sold the look.
You pulled on the glove he gave you, flexing your fingers to test it’s flexibility. After all, if you couldn’t engage in you and Duo’s elaborate handshake, you might have to ditch the glove altogether. Luckily the glove fit you well- functionality and style alike. Ten gilla spent well.
“Not bad. Y’think Zechs’ll get jealous?” Duo laughed at the idea.
“Doubtful, doesn’t he have Noin to get him cool stuff? Plus, I think his mask and that hair are defining accessories, what else does he need?”
You shrugged. “What gay wouldn’t love these? ‘M already enjoying mine ‘nd yours look more worn in than mine do. Solid fuckin’ proof right there.” Not like you could confirm or deny that Duo was gay. Honestly, you didn’t really care for his specific labels, but Zechs was definitely gay so it just helped further the joke. With his demeanor and his lesbian best friend? Could the flags get any gayer.
“More like pansexual on my account. Good to know your take on gender preference though. This mean I’m allowed to openly flirt with you now?” He leaned back into his seat, throwing his feet up onto the table in front of you and resting his head in his hands.
You raised an eyebrow. “Only if you promise not to ‘no homo’ me afterwards.” Duo pretended to fall backwards, clutching at the nonexistent pearls and acting offended. You two giggled when Sally came in from the cockpit to assure herself that somebody hadn’t just gotten a concussion. To which Duo immediately pretended to have a head wound of some sorts (you suspected he was being purposely vague) in hopes of attaining the candy that Sally sometimes had on hand.
Once she left (leaving you and Duo with strong warnings against fooling around more, lest Duo’s “head injury” get worse; to which you had saluted and replied, “absolutely no promises, ma’am!”) you shared a look with the brunette and tried to keep from dissolving into a fit of laughter. To your chagrin, it was a fail. You were laughing so hard that your stomach was starting to genuinely hurt. Duo was doubled over on the ground, wheezing unintelligible words and trying to hand you the lollipop that Sally gave him.
By the time you had managed to calm down and breathe, Duo was getting into the chair beside you and clutching his side. “I think I pulled a muscle from laughing so hard.”
“Yeesh, ‘m crying from laughin’ so much. Aah, this is what y’do to me.” You joked, wiping away tears from the corners of your eyes.
“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before,” Duo paused to think. “like, at all! Now that I think about it, didja even cry when I rescued you?” You shrugged again. The battlefield was pretty terrifying and if you hadn’t found it in you to cry from fear… well, you were feeling a lot of emotions during the whole ordeal. Who could really blame you? “Pretty tough that a fuckin battle didn’t even make you cry. Hey- my bit musta been pretty damn good to make you shed a tear!”
“Yeah, don’t let it get to y’head. ‘S just because ‘m crushin on you.” You mentioned casually, testing the waters.
“Full homo?”
“Full homo.”
Well, would you look at that. Now Duo was crying. What was with you two and tears today?
BONUS:
“You’re so cheesy.” You muttered to Duo, who was proudly holding up your guys’s fingerless gloves- which he had sewn a rainbow patch onto the back of.
He smiled, tugging your glove onto your hand. “Mhm. You love it though.”
Sighing, you returned the favour and pulled his glove onto his right hand. “You’re right. I love it. I love you.”
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[all works found under the name "nayarablueglasses" are property of nayarablueglasses. please do not repost, claim as your own, or edit. i do not consent for my works to be part of any social media other then tumblr, including having my works be adapted for asmrs.]
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aylinaliens · 3 years
Text
The Not So Scary Haunting of Sarawat Guntithanon— Chapter 1
Fandom: 2Gether
Pairings: Sarawat/Tine
Summary: Sarawat Gay Panics 24/7 over his new roommate (who, by the way, might be a ghost, which is weird on so many levels but whatever, if a man wants to thirst over the supernatural being haunting his apartment so be it!)
Word Count: 1621
Notes: i'm not even excited for 2gether the movie yet here i am, posting another sarawatine fic. basically our boy Sarawat gay panics every single minute of every single day because the ghost who is haunting his apartment is pretty. that's it. that's the plot. just sarawatine being dumb, mutually pining idiots.
Read the first chapter on Ao3 or down below!
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How was it possible that a disembodied voice could sound so... god damn enticing and lovely? At first, Sarawat found himself pressing his body deeper into his bed but after getting over to his initial shock and fear he allowed himself sometime to appreciate the sound of it. Although his heart was in his throat, Sarawat could not deny the wave of comfort that filled his veins, from his finger to his toes warm spread through his body.
Which was weird—and frankly crazy. Ghosts can possess people, right? Or kill them? Sarawat wished he paid more attention to all the horror movies Man and Boss dragged him to because maybe then he wouldn’t be laying in bed, already whipped, ready to drop down on knee. Hand in marriage sir, please give me your hand in marriage.
He should be terrified of this figure, not lowkey turned on.
Curse Sarawat and his inability to function around attractive boys. Curse this motherfucking hot as heck ghost and his stupid dimples.
Sarawat awakes to a blurry and translucent figure hovering mere inches from his face.
The next day he swears to Man and Boss that the reason he remains frozen was because of fear and not because he was having a full on gay panic attack... over a ghost. That’s what this person was, right? A ghost? He was a rationale adult but he had enough brain cells to connect all the dots.
Sarawat sucks in a deep inhale of breath, allowing his eyes to burn every line, curve, and dip of this mysterious figure's face.
The dim light of his bedroom combined with the near translucent nature of the figure meant that Sarawat never was able to get a clear idea of what this ghost looked like. Just the glimpses he did get left his throat dry and heart pounding rapidly.
The figure had a closed mouth smile etched across his features, all soft pink lips and crinkly eyes and dimples. Sarawat briefly thought of leaning forward to press his fingertips against those pink lips just to see if they were as soft as they looked. But then he realized that was insane and weird so instead he just beat that thought away with a stick. Gay thoughts: be gone! Don’t you dare become a simp over a motherfucking ghost.
The bottom half of his face was crystal clear which was both a blessing and curse while his top half looked as if it was about to flicker away at any moment. Sarawat was positive that this was abnormal, but then again this was his first encounter with a ghost so maybe it was, in fact, normal? It’s not as if he was given a manual or anything.
He couldn’t quite tell what shade of brown this mysterious figures eyes but he allowed his brain to imagine that it was probably vivid, just like the rest of his face. He was debating on the actual shade when he a disembodied voice spoke.
“Hello.”
How was it possible that a disembodied voice could sound so... god damn enticing and lovely? At first, Sarawat found himself pressing his body deeper into his bed but after getting over to his initial shock and fear he allowed himself sometime to appreciate the sound of it. Although his heart was in his throat, Sarawat could not deny the wave of comfort that filled his veins, from his finger to his toes warm spread through his body.
Which was weird—and frankly crazy. Ghosts can possess people, right? Or kill them? Sarawat wished he paid more attention to all the horror movies Man and Boss dragged him to because maybe then he wouldn’t be laying in bed, already whipped, ready to drop down on knee. Hand in marriage sir, please give me your hand in marriage.
He should be terrified of this figure, not lowkey turned on.
Curse Sarawat and his inability to function around attractive boys. Curse this motherfucking hot as heck ghost and his stupid dimples.
Sarawat was like ninety percent sure of his sexual identity but now he was having a crisis about the fact he was possibly crushing on a whole new species. Needless to say he was losing his mind!
He could just imagine the headline of the video Man would inevitably make him sit down to film and post on their jointed YouTube channel.
STORYTIME: I ALMOST MADE OUT WITH THE GHOST THAT'S HAUNTING MY APARTMENT!
Sarawat was positive that his best friend would insert various memes and jokes throughout his very honest and real existential-slash-moral-slash- philosophical crisis Sarawat was having.
It would probably rake in a lot of views but Sarawat did not want to be known as That One Guy Who Simped Over A Ghost for the rest of his life.
He was almost positive that if he told his friends the trust extent of how he felt, they would want to change their channel from music and vlogs to something more akin to Buzzfeed Unsolved.
They would buy a spirit box and Ouija board online and force Sarawat to try to communicate because of course they fucking would, those absolute menaces.
He could already see Boss glancing around like a conspiracy theorist, seriously asking the ghost are you DTF (that means down to fornicate in case you need clarification), Mr. Ghost? Just give us a sign, any sign. Man would most definitely feed into this or make the situation even worse.
Which is why he was not going to reveal what happened tonight. He would just play off as sleep paralysis. Yeah. That is the best way to prevent his best friends from blowing this situation out of proportion.
Sarawat wanted to say something but the words died in his throat. What would he even say? Hello. Please smash your face against mine! Uh, no way in hell. Maybe it was a good thing that he had trouble forming words right now. It would save him a lot of embarrassment.
The figure leaned down closer and— fuck fuck fuck gay thoughts go away— peering curiously down at Sarawat. “He definitely can see me so why isn’t he saying anything?”
Because you can’t verbally keysmash in real life you beautiful and vaguely threatening supernatural being.
The figure hummed, deep in thought, before leaning back (thank goodness) only to do something that made Sarawat let out a very unflattering shriek in surprise. Well there goes his reputation. He didn’t have one in the first place to begin with, especially not with this ghost, but still. There it goes.
Ghosts were unable to touch people right? Right? So why did a ghost...just touch him?
Sarawat raked his brain trying to remember the drama he watched a few months back with his brother (it was Phukong unsubtle way of being like, hey, bro, I like boys but I’m still scared of coming out so let’s just both pretend like I didn’t just cry at the scene where Ohm Pawat’s character comes out to his mother, I swear I’m emotional because of the acting not because I can relate to it).
Sarawat was positive that the ghost in that drama couldn’t actually touch anyone. He was like ninety-six percent sure that every time he tried his body would just go straight through the other characters.
He forgot how it was possible that the ghost could touch, and kiss, the human, though. He should have paid more attention but hey, he was also trying to think of an inconspicuous way to let it slip that he was also gay. Great (disaster gays) apparently think a lot alike.
Anyways, the figure poked his chest and Sarawat almost pissed his pants in shock. Clearly the ghost was just as surprised that he could actually touch Sarawat because he froze, making Sarawat happy that he decided to wear a shirt to bed tonight.
He assumed that the ghost must have thought he was dreaming to (wait can ghost dream?) so just to make sure he poked Sarawat three more times in the same spot and yup—Sarawat felt it. He felt it clear as day.
“Oh.” The figure tilted his head to the side. “This is weird. I shouldn’t be able to do that.”
Yeah, obviously.
Sarawat opened his mouth to finally speak (he swore he was going to play it cool and be all like: hi! i promise i’m not having gay thoughts right now!) but before he could a loud crash in the next room made him jolt in surprise.
After being rendered motionless for a few minutes, Sarawat finally gained control of his own body. He threw himself upright into a sitting position but in the process of doing so he accidentally slammed his forehead against the figure whose face was technically still in close proximity.
Cursing, Sarawat clutched his head as pain made white spots cloud his vision. “ Fuck .”
From next to him the figure cursed too. “ Shit.”
Eventually the pain subsided into a dull ache, allowing Sarawat to glance over at the boy—ghost, supernatural being, angel, whatever—next to him.
The top half of his face was no longer translucent anymore.
In fact, he wasn’t translucent at all.
Crimson blood began to trickle out from his nose, causing Sarawat to gape in horror.
Not because the image was a terrifying one. I mean, yeah, it was a bit weird but it has been established that Sarawat, that certifiable himbo, was in a constant state of ‘mark me down as scared and horny’ tonight, but because a ghost...was bleeding. From a wound that Sarawat gave him. Was that like, scientifically possible? Note to self: send a text to Earn so that she can ask her girlfriend about it.
Also? Sarawat was finally able to label the ghost's eyes as being a cross between honey and caramel. Obviously, his poor gay started chanting oh oh oh oh oh because yeah, read above, Sarawat Guntithanon? Himbo, Simp, Dumbass Extraordinaire. Either way he was a mess.
The possible brain injury and the shock of the entire night finally caught up to Sarawat, making his stomach churn with nausea and vision become blurry.
Without meaning to, Sarawat fainted—not even elegantly like one of those heroines in a romance novel but like a dead, fucking fish, limbs flopping every which way—right into the arms of the mysterious figure he was still dying ( yikes bad choice of words) to know the name of.
The last thing he registered before completely blacking out was that someone was cradling him to their chest, rambling away.
“Oh my god. Did I just kill him? No. No way. He’s still breathing. Shit. Sarawat! Hey, you saraleo, wake up!”
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