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dontyoudarejudgemesworld · 4 years

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The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far Chapter Four: The Girdle Rule

Alright, so first off this one maybe a bit on the rough side as far as editing goes. My back up beta flaked on me and there was a whole slue of issues with even getting this to be able to post it (say it with me computer problems suck). Anyways this is a very Billie-centric chapter giving a bit more insight to her as a person and why she is the way she is. It's also 6.643 words about 85% of which is rather angsty. And while there arent any real graphic descriptions there are underlying themes of drug use, OD, death, grief, childhood trauma, abandonment issues, and violence. So you know be aware of that.

Also as a heads up the next chapter will land in the series bringing Dipper and Mable into play and really taking the first step toward the real meat of the story. So that's something to look forward too. Other then that if you read this likes comments are always appreciated.

As always this is posted on AO3 and you can read it there by clicking here.

And with that I scream yet another chapter into the void

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January 2011

Billie sighed as she walked through the mall, it was almost deserted, the snow that fell lazily outside enough to deter all but the most determined of shoppers and teenagers. Pulling her phone out of her pocket she looked at the screen for the millionth time, even though she knew it was useless; Stan didn’t own a cell so when he got the messages she’d left on the answering machine he would call her. Still, she was restless, she didn’t even know what she was doing here. She’s just been up a few weeks ago to throw Stan’s Christmas gift at him and spend a few days getting a crash course on Hanukkah since it turned out the Pines were Jewish. It had been nice to spend an actual holiday with someone, but after she’d left to head down to California for a job everything had gone to hell.

She'd met with the client and decided to pass on the job. While she wasn't one to pass up a job simply because the employer was obviously less than upstanding, she was one who listened to her gut. And her gut had screamed danger in big red letters with flashing lights and sirens. So she'd politely declined and the soft-spoken man who'd offered her the job had been less than pleased. After trying to throw more money at her only for her to insist she wasn't interested, he'd changed tactics to one of intimidation. Four hours later after being roughed up a bit by his 'bodyguard' they'd parted ways with the understanding that she'd never met him and would forget his face, and he'd return the favor. It wasn't the first time that sort of thing had happened, but that didn't make her ribs any less sore. After that, she'd decided that it might be better to head out the next town to find another job. And then...

"God damn it, Stan, it's the off-season what could you possibly be doing?" she growled her finger hovering over the screen as she considered calling him again, before shoving the device back into her pocket. She'd already left four messages telling him that she was suddenly in town and asking if she could crash at the Shack, if she left another he might start worrying. And he didn't need to worry, there was nothing wrong, she'd just decided to come up this way.

In fact, it was stupid she'd even bothered him, she should just call him back and tell him never mind. It wasn’t like she really needed to see him, or she wanted the strange comfort his presence gave her. No, it wasn’t that she wanted someone to tell her that it was all going to be okay. Or that she needed someone to tell her she was wanted. She really should just keep moving. Seattle was close and she had a few repeat clients there she could check in with. Yeah, she would do that.

"... said move on creep. We aren't interested," came a familiar voice sharp with anger and a hint of fear. Her head snapping up her eyes found a group of three men in their twenties crowded around someone besides a hallway over which the word 'Restrooms' was stenciled. They looked a bit rough, and even though she didn't claim to know everyone in the town she could tell they weren't locals. Glancing past them, she found the voice she had recognized; Wendy stood in front of her goth friend defiantly glaring daggers at the men.

"Oh come on. We just want to have some fun. Why don’t you show us around? You two would love to do that, right," the biggest one pressed in a friendly tone as he took a step towards the girls causing Wendy's face to waver as her friend shrink back in an effort to hide behind the redhead. He looked like he just walked out of a James Dean look-alike shoot and just radiated sleaze.

"Yeah, we're new in town. Show us around," one of the others chimed in with a predatory grin.

"We said beat it," Wendy growled, though a slight crack in her voice took some of the venom out and seemed to encourage the men who took a step towards them.

"Hey, fuck face the girl said beat it," Billie snapped as she traveled the distance between them in a dozen steps to place herself in front of the two girls much to the surprise of everyone, "So you best be movin' on," she snarled her shoulders squaring and fists clenching. While she would never have hesitated to step into such a situation no matter who it was, the fact that the assholes had picked Wendy pissed her off to no end.

"Who the hell are you?" one of them demanded a scowl on his face as he took half a step forward in an effort to intimidate her. Behind her she felt Wendy and the other girl shift as they pressed into her to hide. Letting out a soft growl she leveled her gaze on the one who'd spoken her features unreadable and eye cold as ice.

"You feelin' froggy, boy?" she asked calmly, "Go ahead, I'll tan your hides gladly," she said with a slight laugh that just screamed unstable. The men hesitated as they looked at each other, before the leader smiled at her, raising his hands in surrender.

"It's cool," he assured her, "Come on guys," he said as he turned and walked away. The other two hesitated before they followed him and Billie glared at them as they headed out the nearest exit. Shame, she really wanted to hit someone today. Rolling her shoulders, she turned to Wendy and her friend, Tammy she thought, flashing them a smile.

"Y'all alright?" she asked and Wendy smiled as she let out a breath she'd been holding.

"Yeah, thanks man," the teenager said as she stepped back, her friend nodding from behind her phone. The older woman nodded and the two stood in silence for a minute as Billie looked her over. Despite the girl's easy going tone and relaxed posture it didn't take a genius to see she was a little shaken up, making Billie wonder just how strong those assholes had come on.

"Alright, but for my own piece ah' mind, let me get y'all home," she said, choosing to pretend she didn't see relief flash across the redhead's face.

"My Dad's picking us up in like a half an hour, but if you need to hang around, that's cool," Wendy told her, "I didn't know you were back in town again. Soos normally texts me when you show up."

"Yeah, not stayin' though. Just passing through to Seattle. Needed a new pair of gloves," she lied smoothly, "Was just picking them up 'fore heading out. Good thing I did."

"Wait, you aren't gonna go see Stan?" Wendy asked in surprise.

"Naw, he hasn't called me back, and I don't wanna just drop in unannounced. Lord knows what Stan's doing. Probably sitting around watching those historical dramas he pretends he don't, but you never know," Billie replied, rolling her shoulders as she looked around. Wendy's face pulled into a confused look. She like Billie, sure she was a bit rough around the edges, but she was cool. Aside from the fact that she was more than willing to help her skip out early sometimes, she had almost the same kind of salty charm Stan did. Though Stan was charming in a gruff kind of way where as Billie had a sarcastic kind of charm... she was pretty sure it was the southern accent that sold it. But there was something off about the woman today.

"You okay?" she asked, earning another charming smile.

"Finer than a frog hair split four ways, darlin'," she assured the girl, "It's been a long drive. Sometimes the glamorous lifestyle of a PI gets tiring," she said with a soft laugh. Wendy stared at her for a moment with her eyes slitted, that was bullshit and they both knew it. But before Wendy could call her on it her phone buzzed and she pulled it out to look at.

"Dad's here Tambry," she said and the goth girl nodded, "Thanks again Billie."

"I'll walk with you, darlin'. I was on my way out anyway," she said smoothly as she turned to lead the way out. Wendy just shrugged, knowing it was better than protesting. Soon enough, they were outside Dan's truck idling right by the doors.

"See yuh Billie," Wendy said as she pulled open the door, letting Tambry climb in first which she managed without ever looking up from her phone.

"Have a good evenin' girls. Stay out of trouble," the older woman replied, glancing past her to Dan, whose brows were furrowed in confusion at her presence. Flashing him a smile she lifted her hand flashing him a six fingered wave, "Hey Dan," she said as she kept walking heading out to the parking lot and her bike.

"Billie," he rasped automatically in greeting as his daughter climbed in closing the door behind her, "What was that about?" he asked.

"Oh some creeps were hassling us and Billie scared them off," she told him calmly. Dan's eyes narrowed slightly at her words over protective feelings surging at the idea of someone messing with his daughter.

"Creeps?" he repeated, "Who?"

"Dad be cool, it's fine. I could have handled it, and besides Bille took care of it," the teenager sighed settling back in her seat. He considered pushing the issue but decided against it. Instead, he made a mental note to ask Billie about it when he saw her at the bar next.

"Seat belts," he boomed and Wendy rolled her eyes as she buckled up Tambry affirming she already had.

~*~

Billie slouched against the bar moodily working on her fifth beer. She’d been planning on just going out to Seattle. After all, if she kept moving she didn't have to think about anything besides keeping her bike on the road and away from cars. The snow storm, however, had different plans, in town it was a steady drifting fall but once she hit the base of the mountain it had turned into a full blown white out. And as self destructive as she could be she wasn't insane. So she'd landed at the Skull Fracture drinking away the last month. It was a quiet night no one but a few regulars; Bats and Cat (so named for his tattoos) were playing pool in the corner growling threats loudly at each other. Chin lounged at the table beside the door to check IDs if someone happened to venture in, and rowdy laughter drifted over from a few of the Scacr-O-Dacyles who sat BSing in the corner. She'd been invited to join Bats and Cat but had declined. For all the buzz about the place in town she actually liked it. While it could certainly get rowdy and fights were a dime a dozen on Saturday nights the regulars were good guys. She'd brawled with most of them at some point or another in the last year and a half but after they always wound up laughing and drinking together. Good guys if a bit rough.

Still tonight was quiet which didn't do her much good. Billie had hoped to take her mind off her trip back to Georgia, but only managed to dwell on it. Groaning she shoved a hand through her hair as she took another drink.

"Ugh, how the hell did I get stuck with you?" she growled at her glass her mind drifting to the urn in her saddle bag, "An' what the hell am I supose ta do with yuh now?" she muttered. The call had come in when she'd been on her way to LA; Mary's parole office had found her with a needle in her arm. Billie had wished she was shocked at the news, but she wasn't. Her mother had been an addict in the truest sense, sure she got clean here and there but she always went back. The last time Billie had talked to her was a few years ago when she'd been 'born again', for the third time by Billie’s count. Billie had given her a chance though, told Mary if she stayed clean for six months she'd come visit. That visit hadn't happened. God had lost his appeal four months later. Two months longer then when she'd regained custody of Billie when she'd been 12 and four months sooner then when she'd invited Billie to see her baptized when she was twenty.

Still, Billie had been her listed next of kin, which meant her death had come a whole heap of problems. The woman's older children didn't even speak to her so all the debts, apartment, and arrangements had been left to her youngest. And while Billie had considered telling them to donate her to science and give away all her shit, she couldn't do that to her. As angry as she was there was still a small part of her that remembered eating ice cream at midnight and making blanket forts with her Mom when she was between benders. So for the first time in eight years Billie had gone back, and now she wished she hadn't.

She hadn't had a service or anything instead choosing to have her mother cremated, and after looking through the sad little apartment her mother had for anything of value she'd donated what she could and had a service come clean up the rest. The landlord had been a man so sleazy her skin had crawled and it took every ounce of self restraint she had not to punch him in his face when he'd demanded next months rent and the costs of repairs over the security deposit. Credit cards, pay day loans, and a court fees had run her a pretty penny but she'd made sure they were all taken care of.

And that had been the easy part. She'd also taken the time to call all five of her siblings to let them know; Vernon and Ivy hadn't even picked up, Emma May had hung up on her, and Jesse had laughed over the sounds of his girlfriend demanding to know who 'the bitch on the phone' was. Only her eldest brother Bo had shown any kind of feeling, he’d sighed sadly and asked if she needed help, though she knew his heart wasn't in it. He'd asked out of obligation, he was 11 years older then her and the first born so she knew he felt like he should be the one taking care of it. She'd assured him that she had handled everything, asked the obligatory 'how's the family's, answered his standard 'still doing the gypsy detective thing', and given the standard staying in touch niceties. Bo was a good guy, and honestly they were the only ones that ever spoke with each other even if it was only once every five years or so. Honestly, none of them had anything in common beside having been brought into the world by Mary. And after being separated in the system they had gone on to live their lives trying their best to find some sort of normality.

"Hey!" came a raspy voice pulling her from her internal brooding causing her to blink as she looked over to find Dan towering over her. Blinking again she flashed a smile up at him as she straightened up swiveling the bar stool to face him.

"Oh evenin' Dan," she drawled lazily as she glanced around him finding his perpetual shadow behind him, "Tyler you're in actual jeans...it must really be cold," she told the smaller man with a grin.

"Billie Jean! I didn't expect to see you again so soon. You finally deciding to move here?" he asked cheerfully causing her to laugh. She really liked the flamboyant little man, when he'd first met her he'd squealed in delight asking excitedly if her middle name was Jean. When she'd confirmed that it actually was she had thought he might explode with excitement insisting on calling her Billie Jean, something she hadn't been called since high school.

"Naw sug. Though if I ever decide to settle down this place is in the top contenders," she assured him finishing her beer, "What are you buys up to tonight?" she asked and Tyler laughed happily.

"I should hope so. It's a great place. I convinced Dan to play some pool. Wanna join?" he asked eagerly.

"Naw, I'm beat. Maybe next time," she told him and he nodded before bouncing off to call the table next and eagerly cheer both Bats and Cat on. Chuckling she stretched running her fingers through her hair again as she realized she was feeling the beers more then she'd thought, before looking up at Dan who still loomed over her. Raising a brow she cocked her head looking up at him. She liked Dan as much as Tyler, though he came off as a meat head with too much testosterone and shoulder hair he was actually a lot brighter then most people gave him credit for.

Sure he absolutely fit the name Manly to a tee, and took shit from no one, but shed had more then a few intelligent conversations with him. From the value of reforesting in the logging industry to him telling her that the weird rattle she kept hearing was the Hide Behind, she'd found him rather engaging even if he did deliver his points in a booming raspy voice that could blow out your ear drums. Plus, it was pretty endearing the way he watched out for Tyler.

Apparently, they'd been best friends since elementary school, and Dan really loved the enthusiasm enthusiast. She'd even seen him play wing man for his fabulous friend which had been priceless. She’d sat by and watch Dan distract a middle aged woman who had been all but begging him to take her home so Tyler could chat up her friend, a cute red headed bear of a man...obviously he had type. But what she liked best was he seemed like he was a good Dad; hanging out at the bar was something he did when all the kids were off somewhere safe and sound, and even then he never seemed to get good and drunk just in case he needed to switch into Dad mode. Something she could appreciate, and she guessed that had something to with him towering over her at the moment.

"I wasn't corrupting your daughter. Scout's honor," she told him raising two fingers.

"I know, she told me," he growled and she smiled wondering what it was then, "She said some guys were hassling them. Who?" he demanded and she chuckled. There it was, he wanted to know who he was hunting down.

"I dunno I didn't recognize them. Some James Dean wanna bes in leather jackets. They'd cornered them and were trying to get them to ‘show them around town’," she told him as she signaled for another beer, "She was holding her ground but she had...Tammy?" she hesitated trying to remember the goth girl's name.

"Tambry," he supplied and she nodded.

"Tambry hidin' behind her. They were pretty easy to scare off though. Still, I insisted on hanging around until you got 'em," she finished with a shrug as she caught the glass the bar tender sent sliding down to her, "If I see them again I'll let yuh know."

"Thanks," he said after a second, "For keeping an eye on Wendy that is. I know she can handle herself but...," he trailer off a bit awkwardly and she gave him an understanding smile.

"'Course Dan," she said as Tyler shouted that they were up.

"Sure you don't wanna join?" he asked and she smiled shaking her head. Nodding, he turned and headed over to his friend. She watched him go out the corner of her eye. While she enjoyed Dan as a person she also enjoyed him as the world's biggest piece of eye candy too.

Settling back against the bar she glared at her drink. It occurred to her that trying to drink away the feeling in her hadn't been the beat idea. While she wasn't drunk, she was certainly feeling it, and booze tended to make her short to begin with. But she had been out of pot for awhile and needed to do something. She knew that the mix of anger and sorrow was normal for grief, and she was self aware enough to know that she'd spent years repressing the complex emotions she had about Mary and that her death was trying to drag it all up again. But still she didn't want to deal with them now. She wanted to stuff them all deep inside and leave them there.

She didn’t want to wonder if she had forgiven her mother and spent more time with her if Mary would have cleaned up a bit. The question ‘Am I going to end up dead alone in some crappy apartment too?’ wasn’t one she wanted to ask herself. Facing the deep seated insecurity of not being a good enough daughter making Mary choose partying over her wasn’t a thing she wanted to do. Every time she’d angrily wished her mother dead, and all the nights she’d spent wondering if she was broken since even her own mother didn’t love her swirled around inside her. If only she had some kind of magic memory ray to erase it all...to delete everything to start fresh tomorrow with out all the damage she carried. Taking a drink she caught someone leaning against the bar next to her as well as movement behind her.

"Hey, you're the one who ruined our fun earlier," came a smooth voice. Setting her drink down she turned to find the James Dean wanna be staring down at her, and realized his two friends were now flanking her. Calmly she glanced at the other two before turning back to the leader who was looking down at her with a predatory grin.

"But I'll tell you what. Since we're such forgiving guys you can make it up to us. How about we have a few drinks and then you and us can see where the evening goes. Maybe find a way to keep us all warm," he leered and she realized he was staring down her shirt. Cocking a brow she wondered if this guy was for real, if he seriously thought she was going to take this. Looking him up and down as he leaned casually against the bar and looked like he owned the place it hit her. She was the only woman in a bar full of bikers and roughnecks, he and his friends assumed they were alphas in the situation. That because she was sitting alone in a room full of men who all oozed testosterone no one would object to them objectifying her. But man had they read the place wrong, while the regulars were certainly less then civilized by most standards none of them were animals when it came to women. Letting out a low chuckle she sat up cracking her neck as she stretched. Glancing at the two that flanked her she returned her gaze to James Dean and smirked.

"Yuh actually think that's gonna work on me?" she asked taking a drink, "Listen son, even if I wasn't already in a piss poor mood I wouldn't keep you or yur flunkies warm if we was six feet deep. Anyone who tries to scare girls into goin' with 'em ain't worth the shit on the bottom ah my shoe," she told them cause the men to shift angrily around her but she just smirked as she stood rolling her shoulders. Displeased with her dismissal of him the scumbag pressed forward almost touching her as the other ones crowded around her. He was using his height to force her to look up at him but she just smiled catching movement behind him, glancing past him she saw Chin has stood from his stool beside the door very aware of the situation. Raising her hand slightly she signaled she had this and he stilled not sitting down but trusting her for the moment.

"You got a smart mouth bitch. Maybe we should teach you how to use it," he threatened and she let out a bark of laughter in his face which only served to piss him off more. Good, she needed to blow off some steam.

"Oh bless yur heart, huh really don't realize how fucked you are do you?" she asked her tone dripping with southern condescending, "Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to intimidate women into yur bed y'all'd've realized you picked the wrong bar to do that in. In fact, y'all picked the wrong town, an' y'all certainty picked the wrong girl," she chuckled.

"Oh really?" he asked glancing sarcastically around, "Because there's three of us and you don't seem to have any friends. So why don't you think this through. We can have some fun and make nice," he offered and she laughed again causing his face to contort in frustration. It was clear he was use to women submitting to them...scumbag.

"Oh honey I got plenty a friends here. But no, I meant at the mall," she informed him raising her fingers to her lips and letting out a loud whistle causing the whole bar to fall silent. The dawning realization that they'd fucked up that was creeping into his face was priceless as she looked over her shoulder to Dan and Tyler who stood beside the pool table staring at her. The look on his face told her that he was already piecing together what was going on and she grinned.

"Hey Dan these are the assholes that were hassling Wendy," she called and the snap of the pool cue as his fist clenched around it sounded like a gun shot in the silence. All at once every pair of eyes turned to the men who surrounded her the hate tangible, before they all looked over to Dan. Well, actually they all turned to the little man beside Dan. Raising a brow Billie looked at Tyler who’s eyes narrowed in anger as he stared at the men around her.

“Get ‘em,” he said softly rendering his verdict to everyone. With those words what was going to happen became clear. Turning back to the scumbag towering over her she felt the acid grin splitting her face.

"Thanks hun. I've been lookin' ta hit something all day," she told him before snapping her hand up to the side of his head and slamming it viciously into the bar. And with that all hell broke loose.

Twenty minutes later Billie panted slightly as she watched the three assholes get rolled out the door. Blood dripped from a split on her forehead and she could feel her left eye swelling already. In the split second after she'd slammed James' head into the bar his two friends had jumped her landing solid hits to her face and chest and the world had gone red. After that it was a blur of fury and pain as she and Dan had beat the living hell out of them. She had taken out every ounce of rage she'd built up over the last month on the poor bastards until finally Dan had dragged her off them, probably so she wouldn't beat them to death. Looking down at his arm that was wrapped around her waist she pushed gently on it.

"Uhh Dan you can put me down now," she told him and he looked down at her skeptically, "I'm not rabid I won't attack," she assured him. Grunting he set her down on her feet and he frowned as she stretched.

"Uhhhh you okay?" he asked raising a brow at her and she sighed nodding. It was obvious that he wasn't just talking about physically. While Billie was always up for a fight she was never out of control. But tonight she had gone insane, and now she was just exhausted. All of her anger had been channeled into her hits leaving her feeling nothing but a strange kind of hollow sadness. Still she put on a charming smile and shrugged.

"Yeah, rough week," she told his dismissively. He opened his mouth to say something but her phone began blasting an air raid siren from under a bar stool. Thanking God for the excuse to avoid any further explanation she dove for it flipping it open.

"'Ello," she chirped wiping at the blood seeping down into her eye.

"WHERE ARE YOU?!" Stan thundered causing her to pull the phone away from her ear, "I'VE CALLED YOU FIVE TIMES. YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH! YOU SAY YOU'RE IN TOWN BUT NEVER SHOW UP?!" he raged, "IT’S A GOD DAMN BLIZZARD OUTSIDE!"

"You never called me back to say I could crash with you," she snapped and the silence on the other end was slightly threatening.

"I told you last time to just come in," he told her, "Now get your ass over here before you get snowed in," he barked before he hung up the phone. Looking down at the cell phone she snapped it shut and shook her head. Well, guess it was time to start walking cause she sure as hell wasn’t in any shape to drive.

~*~

Stan sat glaring at some late night documentary on the manufacturing of mud flaps played on the screen. It was almost midnight and Billie still hadn’t showed up, he’d called her 45 minutes ago. It wasn’t that he was worried about her or anything he was just cranky that the woman was keeping him up. He’d spent the last two days down in the basement with that damn portal and unsurprisingly gotten no where. So when he’d come up to find the answering machine blinking he’d been glad for the distraction, if a bit surprised to hear she was back so soon. But after listening to the messages he had gotten a bit concerned, the last few times she’d come for a visit she hadn’t asked if she could stay, she’d just told him she would be there. And he’d told her that she was always welcome. But suddenly she was acting like he might turn her away. Had he done something last visit to make her feel like she was no longer welcome? He didn’t think so.

But then when he tried to call her she hadn't picked up, which was weird, the woman was attached to that damned cell phone like if she missed a call she might die. Seriously, it was like the thing shocked her every time it rang. When she’d finally picked up he was pretty sure that he’d heard the sounds of the Skull Fracture in the background. And the bar was only about ten minutes away so what was taking her so long? Looking outside he could see the snow was falling more heavily then it had been an hour ago. The plows wouldn’t be out until the morning either which only served to make him even more agitated.

She only ever rode that bike of hers and if she had skidded off the road she had no shelter. She could have been hurt or worse. He trusted her to know her limits, and he knew that she never really got hammered. She had a few beers at most and had walked back the few times she had felt she wasn’t able to be safe, but the snow was a different story. Even seasoned drivers could get in trouble in it.

“Damn it Stanley you should have gone and got her,” he growled to himself, “You idiot. What were you thinking? You know she doesn’t have a car,” he berated his anger manifesting in self loathing, “Stupid worthless old man.”

As he stood to go get dressed so he could go out looking for her a knock came on the front door sending him charging towards it like a bat out of hell. Relief washed over him as he wrenched the door open ready to demand to know what the hell was wrong with her, but the sight before him left him speechless.

Billie stood on the porch snow clinging to the messy black braid of her hair and the shoulders of her fur lined parka. Her jeans were soaked through to the knees where she’d obviously trudged through the snow. Still sticky blood coated one side of her face from a large gash on her forehead, her left eye was half swollen shut and blackening quickly, and her bottom lip split and seeping blood. Her skin was even paler then normal from cold or blood loss and her jaw was bruised and angry looking. Staring at her he felt his heart stop in his chest, he should have gone and got her. She’d obviously crashed on her way over and had to walk here, he needed to get her to the hospital. There was no telling how badly she was hurt, she could be bleeding internally, or have broken bones and only be standing because of shock. She could be dying and it was all hi fault. Stupid worthless old man, he should have gone and gotten her.

“Holy Moses, are you okay? What happened?” he finally managed to bark as he reached a hand towards her pulling her into the house. She was freezing, he could see her shivering and her lips were tinted blue. Good god he need to get the keys to take her to the hospital. “Stay there I’ll get my keys. We have to…,” he began but she cut him off.

“No,” she said her voice thick with pain as she caught his hand with hers. Her skin was like ice, and he noticed her knuckles were bruised and bloody, “No,” she repeated and he stopped looking down at her. Something was wrong, the Billie he’d come to know always had a cocky manner, head held up defiant to the world, sharp eyed and ready to take on the world. But now…she didn’t look like the hell cat that was his daughter. Instead she looked…like a lost little girl. Her shoulders slumped, one arm hugging herself, and big green eyes watery with unshed tears. He looked like he’d felt so many times in his life; lost, alone, and broken. Now, utterly confused he stood looking at her and wondering what the hell he was suppose to do. For a second she stood motionless before shaking her head and moving like she was going to leave. Catching her hand he stopped her, he couldn’t let her go back out there in her current state.

“Billie…what happened?’ he asked again unable to think of anything else to say, “Hey. It’s okay. I’ve been around the world. Whatever it is I’ll understand,” he said echoing the words he’d said so many years ago. He didn’t know what was wrong but this time he wasn’t going to fuck it up again. He refused to loose his daughter like he’d lost his brother, “Come on kid, you’re freaking me out.”

“I…I…Mary died and I had to go back to Georgia. And none of the others seemed to care. And I…I tried to just forget, but it didn’t work. An’ I came here because…I dunno. And I went to the bar but then I beat up James Dean and….and,” she spewed as tears began pouring from her eyes before she lunged forward and hugged him so tightly it almost hurt as she buried her face in his chest. Blinking Stan stood for a second staring down at her as she sobbed quietly into his chest, “I don’t wanna die alone Stanford,” she whimpered into his chest and something in him broke a little as he wrapped his arms around her.

“I know kid, but it’ll all be okay I promise,” he told her his own voice a bit choked. What else could he say? He’d never been good with word or feeling so he just decided to let her cry it out. After all he couldn’t do anything else for her besides be a caring ‘uncle’.

For a while they just stood there; Billie crying softly into his chest as she let out all the grief she’d been holding in and Stan letting her. Finally, she took a step back scrubbing at her eyes and staring at his feet embarrassment washing over her. She must look like an idiot, showing up on his door step crying like a little kid. Sniffing she rolled her shoulders the beating from earlier staring to set in as her body ached along with her heart. Her eyes were puffy and itchy from all the crying and her throat sore from the walk in the snow. She realized she was exhausted in every possible way and looked up at him to find him staring at her hesitantly.

“Feel better?” he asked finally and she gave a jerky nod.

“Yeah…thanks Stan,” she said shoving her hands in her pockets, “So…I’m gonna invoke the girdle rule here.”

“The what?” he asked his face contorting in confusion.

“The fact that you wear a girdle. You know it’s a thing. I know it’s a thing. But we don’t talk about it and pretend it never happened,” she told him and he couldn’t help but let out a huff of laughter.

“Alright, alright I get it,” he told her and she gave a weak smile, “Now not to sound too bossy or anything but you should go get cleaned up and take some aspirin. Probably wanna ice that eye too. Cause it looks like James Dean beat you up not the other way around,” he told her and she let out her own laugh. Nodding he turned to head into the kitchen for the first aid kit and a glass of water for her. She was going to need it.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said as she dragged herself towards the stairs only to pause on the first step, “Really, thanks Stan,” she said not looking at him.

“Sure thing kid. That’s what family is for,” he said not turning from his path to the kitchen. Smiling she nodded as she headed up stairs.

#Gravity Falls #gravity falls fanfiction #the fanfic formally known as I have no bloody idea what to call this; the gravity falls fanfiction #stan pines #billie pines #pines family #pines family bonding #manly dan #lost pines #illegitimate pines #Angst #Mystery Shack #AO3 #you have no idea how much i had to go through to get this up #computer problems suck

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ramblyravingnnjashark · 5 years

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Nier Automata - Genius and Madness

the works of Yoko Taro are something that have eluded me for most of my life, and that I have given very little attention to. Probably for good reasons because from the outside, the gameplay of his games range from Mediocre to Average at best and I consider myself a very "gameplay First" person. Some of my Freinds would rave about Drakengard and how weird it is but that didnt quite convince me to look into them much further. However, one Fateful Day a little game called "Nier Automata" was announced, a sequel to Yoko Taros Xbox 360/PS3 game Nier with a little line of Text that would change things in an instant

"Developed by PlatinumGames"

now friends of mine will know that, PlatinumGames is one of my alltime favourite Game Devs for their Crazy High skill Character Action Beat em up titles, containing Larger than Life characters and great and tight Gameplay that owes their roots in the Arcade games of old, which is something I have a appreciation for.

So, with a combination like this I finally decided to take on this series, by means of watching Youtube essays about it because goddamn, the gameplay in these games can get rather mind numbing sadly but honestly? Yoko Taro mighta earned himself now a nice cushy place as one of my favourite Directors, right next to Hideki Kamiya and Hideo Kojima themselves.

But there is one thing I realised from watching these Essays and actually playing one of them it is one thing to watch a guy sum this series up for you, its a whole different thing to watch the Insanity for yourself

because the works of Yoko Taro arent stories about Heroic Knights slaying Demons and Evil Dragons, or Loving Fathers/older Brothers trying to survive the Fall of Humanity with their Daughters/Little Sisters

they are stories about Love, Hate, War, the meaninglessness of the Universe and the Hope growing from it, what it means to be Human, and what it means to lose all reason and go complete and genuinely Mad

(there will be spoilers, so be warned if you wish to expirience these games yourself!)

so originally, this was gonna be a brief recap of Drakengard and Nier, but then I realised I couldnt do these games justice so I just link this and this recap of these games that should give you a good idea what these games are about but to keep it brief

Drakengard is essentially to RPGs what Evangelion was to Mecha Anime, and thats a fairly approviate comparsion when you just look at, this

its also notable for how it handles its different endings, usually referred to as Ending A, Ending B etc, Ending E of the first Drakengard game was a Joke ending that nontheless became the basis for the setting of Nier, a ruined Planet Earth set hundreds of years after the Fall of Humanity about a Father (in the Western Releases) or a Older Brother (Japanese release) having to fend for himself and his Daughter/Younger Sister in a world under constant threat of creatures known as Heartless Shades

both these games are interesting, because their gameplay is nothing special, in the case of Drakengard its outright terrible,they got mediocre reviews and poor sales and yet these games have a dedicated Cult following and tons of Novels, Audio Dramas, Manga and even Stage Plays that expand the Universes of these games and its lore

and thats for a simple reason: these games may have mediocre gameplay but, their Stories, their Characters, their Art Direction is actually of fairly high quality featuring intriguing Characters and worldbuilding that makes you invested in them regardless I mean, theres a entire exchange in Nier thats entireley between two Magical Talking Books for cryin out loud, and its one of the best parts of the game!

however, these games have thus far had a life as just that, Cult Classics, that didnt manage to garner a mainstream audience due to its aforementioned quirks, the Gameplay just could never stand up to the well written stories of these games

this is where PlatinumGames comes into play

now, the gameplay of Automata I honestly felt like was more on par with what Revengeance offered: there is stuff you can do with it but all in all its below the likes of Bayonetta and Devil May Cry 3 but thats not to say its poor, of course not, it doesnt encourage you to try anything other than just Mash about, but thats Fine, theres also Chips that your characters can even equip Chips that enhance their abilities and giv e them new ones such as a Bayonetta style Parry and Witch time or give them Heals upon Killing the enemy and while the actual enviroments can be a bit of a chore to go through (until you get Fast Travel), it still felt good to Parkour your way through them, nice snappy and smooth which gives me hopes they take a cue or two from this game for Bayonetta 3 in that regard at least

another thing I loved is the Soundtrack itself. Now I dont consider myself a musical person, however I can tell when a Song is used perfectly, and in Automata? Every Song is used to actual perfection. Music to me can be the deciding factor wether a Area or Scene in a Game or Movie is Garbage, Forgettable or Legendary, and for Automata, every song makes each area fall niceley into the latter fortunatly. One Standout track for me is Birth of a Wish (Become as Gods) a retake of an earlier song that adds in additional Chorus, and the Theme for Pascals village which is a cute Melody involving Children singing.

now onto the game itself, Route A puts you in the sexy and Lucious Thigh High boots of YoRHa Unit 2B, whereas Route B puts you in the cute Boy shorts of her Partner and mostly Good Boy YoRHa Unit 9S both tasked with ridding the world of Machine Lifeforms and making Earth inhabitable for the Humans stuck on the Moon again Both Routes play out roughly the same, 2B plays like a Standard Character Action Heroine with Lights and Heavies and such, whereas 9S is mainly focused around his ability to hack enemies and engage into brief SHMUP segments.

of the two I felt like 2B was a little more fun to play all in all, the Hacking was fine but also felt a teeny bit like a pace breaker but not too much, at least until late in Route B the game throws curvebals and unique hacking segments into the mix

a thing Yoko Taro games have been very good at showing, is showing the process of a Person losing their mental stability and throwing it all away to become a one track minded Mad Man and I find that interesting.

Drakengard had a good example when the Character Inuart completley loses it and becomes obsessed with bringing back his Dead Love interest, causing here to turn into the monster posted above. Automata meanwhile, shows this also but with Machines, being that shouldnt even go mad in the first place but become Insane with concepts like Revenge, Fear or other. Now I am not a Psychology Major or anything but I cant help but feel "this is Intriguing", not sure if thats a bad thing or anything but thats how it is.

now, Route C is where officialy the PlatinumGame ends and the Yoko Taro game begins, in that things become utterly, utterly Bleak. Not to say it was happy funtime before, many of the sidequests end on a very sour or outright terrible note, but here? Shits gon Bad!

YoRHa falls, everyone on the Protagonists homebase dies or becomes infected with a Virus that makes them go insane, 2B dies and 9S is severeley wounded and has his mental state utterly ruined by seeing 2B, his Love interest, die. from this Point onward, you play as Either A2, a former YoRHa gone Rogue and 9S as he tries to kill every last Machine Lifeform, and as hes utterly loses his mind. Focusing entireley on his one Goal so that maybe, he can find Death and be with 2B in the Afterlife.

this is where the game really became interesting to me. Gradually 9S goes from this sweet pure boy to a Violent Mess that only wants to Kill and Kill and Kill, Over and Over, its a Interesting Development for such a Character I feel. A2 meanwhile, while still a Great Character and a Blast to play, I felt like was severeley underutilized, getting very little playtime compared to 2B and 9S, with most of her greatest character Development limited to a Japan only Stage play that got a short text recap on a terminal. and it just goes from there and it keeps going, plot twists happen, reveals happen, callbacks to the first Nier and Drakengard 1 happen, its just this huge Mountain of themes and stuff to uncover and analyse. references to old Philosophers and the Concept of Nihilism itself ebing explored, little details that popped up in the early game and now have much greater meaning, its....actually incredible?

I dont think I ever played a game that had so much going on, the last time I think I did was, Metal Gear Solid 3, maybe?! I think....this might actually be one of the best written games I ever played?

and there is still so much content I could go through, the Stage Plays, the Novels, theres probably a buncha Audio Dramas for it too already its like, Jesus christ. and then theres Ending E, which while rather difficult (and probably causes at least 4 people to fucking hate my Guts) was probably one of the best ending sequences I seen in recent years, I'm not gonna go into detail what it is because, it needs to be seen to be belived, but I find it genuiley incredible.

I dont think theres a single game in the Drakengard and Nier series I would actually consider my "Favourite Game", maybe Nier Automata but thats up for consideration still, but I think I can safeley say that both games story as a whole is easily up there with Metal Gear as one of my favourite Game stories out there, and friends and followers of mine would know by now how much I love that Franchise and its wacky insane story, Drakengard and Nier are special little series that you dont see enough of these days, but maybe thats for the better

I'm not gonna say "Nier Automata rekindled my love for video games" or anything, but I am glad I got to expirience these two series.

#Recent Ramblings #Ramblings #Ninja Original

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being-an-alien · 7 years

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London and Me.

To be honest with you, I am still not over London. Like, I am still so happy every single time I think about it. I waited 10 years to see this band and they did not let me down. It has honestly taken me this long to formulate my thoughts and I’m not sure they even make sense.

Here is just a collection of things that I felt on that day:

Leaving Oxford for London is an experience. It’s raining and my hair is pretty wavy/curly at the best of times. Good Start.

The Bus we were on took us through Mayfair (If anyone plays UK monopoly that is the dark blue really rich area - Yikes)

Finding a Bus from there to the club was an experience - Londoners are rude af. If you pulled the shit they did up here in the Scotland ...my god. First - turns out you cant buy two bus tickets on one card, and if you dont have contactless you are not getting on. Second - “You can get a ticket up there” is not helpful in the slightest when you don’t tell us where “Up there” is. Third - Yes I do have a Scottish Accent thank you for pointing that out I had never noticed it before.

Finally got a ticket and the correct bus let the good times roll.

Okay when we see the Hamilton Signs on the way back that’s where we get off the bus.

Those two girls at the front of the bus are going to the concert too I can feel it.

Finally found the club, and by found I mean walked round the corner.

I did say if you arent here early you are at the back.

Now we wait.

It stopped raining, things are looking up.

Hello new line friends. Im doing a survey on your queuing experience as we enter hour 4.

I think the population of Spain is in this line. Hola, sorry about the greyness. But you know..UK.

Half of these girls are wearing stilettos, your feet are gonna hurt by the end of the night. But as a literal hobbit - I understand.

Ah movement! Oh its the 483 people. We are running a little behind. Thats okay. First show - teething problems are expected.

Oh are they calling for scream?? Move to the right and line over there, perfect bring on the soundcheck.

Okay now move back to where you were and don’t get inside - that was utterly pointless.

Don’t yell at my new line friend - Mr Club staff man. Its not her fault you dont know how to manage a good queue.

Line Bants, Line Bants. All about those line bants.

Finally Scream time! Soundcheck me up!

Aww a Cute Lanyard and a signed poster! This is already the best concert I’ve ever been too.

They are pre-gaming this soundcheck.

Finally into the club for our soundchecking experience.

The SUSPENSE!

OH MY GOD ITS THEM! They are there! Right in front of me. He’s 10 feet away...

Why Oh why oh WHY oh why are they still so good looking in real life.

It should be illegal for Bill to be so pretty in real life.

And tall - so very very tall.

This is less soundcheck and more private performance. I am totes here for this.

Oh god we made eye contact! He smiled while maintaining the eye contact. Am I red? Im red. Goddamit I thought my Bill fangirling days were over. I was so so so wrong.

Picture time. Group 2, easy to remember.

Friend - Friend why are you putting your poster down your top??

Line friend dont you start doing it too!

Geo is looking at this display of poster toppage - I dont know either Geo and I’m friends with them.

Our groups turn

Oh god I am literally so close to Gustav.

No friend - I wont smile in this picture.

If Gustav doesnt have to smile in pictures then neither do I!

Okay maybe one smile, just a small one.

Okay a big one!

I am satisfied.

Back outside to my beloved queue.

Wow even more people are here!

LINE FRIEND YOU HAVE WINE!!!!!!

Circle time with wine.

Oh even more friends! French Friends from inside hi come stand with us!

We ran out of wine! But we have selfies and that’s all that matters

TIME TO GO IN!!!!!!!!!!

Wow we are crushed in here. I cant lift my arms at all.

Here we go!

Oh god people please stop with the pushing!

Something New - Obvious choice but totally fitting. Those outfits. I am so here for 80′s B-movie space adventure. Its like my entire aesthetic!

Boy Don’t Cry - I really love this song. Line Friend if we could actually move we’d be Tanzen like we were in the line!

Feel it all - Im feeling it all. I am feeling everything. Joy, pain, these girls arms. That guys leg. Mostly joy!

Bill’s dancing is actually better in person. It looks way less awkward than it does on film.

Also Georg. Just Georg. I appreciate all of everything to do with him.

Love Who Loves You Back - Legit my fave song from the last album. Apparently the person next to me loves it too. I feel you random concert girl.

I have lost my friends in this crowd. I dont care. Look at my boys go!

DarkSide of the Sun - Based purely on the amount of versions of this album I own I would say Humanoid is my fave. Also I was like 14 when it came out Music has never and will never sound as good as it did in that time.

The Heart Get No Sleep - glaring grammatical error aside I love this. I don’t think my heart will be sleeping at any point soon either. Go Bill - you sexy dance/touch yourself on stage. Its all good from where im standing.

Better - Getting them Stormy Weather flashbacks. But this song just gets better the more I hear about it in the aftermath of the concert. No one liked you anyway indeed.

Cotton Candy Sky - I know something you dont know, people who werent in at soundcheck...just wait. Aaand there it is - that is Tom singing-ish. The Screaming shows the appreciation for this moment. Fun fact - this song has ended up really growing on me. I thought I would hate it! Im glad that I don’t.

We Found Us - I call Bullshit on that - I cant find any of my friends in this damn club. I have literally been pushed two rows back from where I started (honestly my view is better.) Still cant find my friends though. On the Upside I can see Gustav now! Look at the lil drummer boy go.

Hang on a minute - where did Bill go?

Why is Tom coming down?

Are those Drumsticks?

They are!

DRUM BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now normally I dont say such things about Tom ‘cause his ego does not need to be boosted ever....But oh my god did he look sexy in that drum battle!

Oh Bill is back and its time for Run Run Run. I remember the #drama when this song came out. Good times.

Black - Turns out I dont remember the English lyrics for this song. The rest of the crowd are singing though so everything is fine. This might be the one place he wont be harassed for singing it in English.

Easy - Now on the rest of the album the “getting high” references could possibly be interpreted as being high on life, or love - you know if you squint really hard and ignore context. But here literally “we smoked weed in the backseat of your car” there is no other way to interpret that one. So go with it! Im a Uni student, make your own assumptions about what I get up to.

FRIEND! Friend where have you been? Are Line friends still alive? Stay with me friend! Yes I do see Georg’s arms. Yes they are nice. No, I dont think he’ll strip more.

Girl got a Gun - Lets face it this song is just a bit of fun. All I can ever think of is my mother trying to get the lyrics in the right order “Girl got a gun bang, gun gun, bang gun,bang bang,gun gun, bang.” Indeed mum, indeed.

Automatic - my love for this song knows no bounds. The KOS people look so happy - and possibly drunk. The tech peeps have very nicely turned down the sound for when Bill lets the girls sing. If I was up there I would appreciate it very muchly.

As Young as We Are- I adore this song - anything that says “So let us die!” is right on the money. Hit me with your tourbus on the way out please. “This is the last song” the fuck it is. You haven’t played the lead single that is a dead give away. You and every other band in the history of ever do encores - we know this.

Apparently some people do not know this. Where the hell are those people going?

Yes yes do the fake leaving the stage - gotta keep the illusion alive!

Get back on this stage you aren’t done yet!

What if - well you made us wait for it didn’t you. This is my friends fave song from the album. As I said before I am here for a good 80′s theme so lay it on me! Aww look at my baby giraffe dance. What a cutie.

Durch Den Monusn - You know it takes talent to get a room full of English (Scottish, Spanish and French also included) people to sing in German but they bloody managed it. I didn’t know that even remembered the lyrics to DDM its been so long. But sure enough I do remember -pronunciation notwithstanding.

Stop, Babe - And here it is. The actual last song of the night. My favourite song from the new album. To be fair for having the least time with the new album to learn the lyrics everyone has done well with the new songs.

CONFETTI. Confetti and Tears! I would totes name am album Confetti and Tears if I had any semblance of talent that would lead me to be making an album.

If Gusti gonna do the wave?

No. No he is not. That’s a shame.

Time to crush our way out of here! Friend hold my bag and do not get lost!

Outside in the fresh air. No merch. Feet too sore to wait.

Can’t find our Line friends - but we love you line friends.

Now where is the bus stop?

No we arent meeting the artists - chance would be a fine thing (fuck you treehouse - taking my humanoid out of my basket, then doubling it, then kicking me off the site when I tried to pay!)

Ah the bus! I am so sore.

So happy!

Hamilton signs. Off we get

Now walk to the posh part and bus it back to Oxford

WAIT MR BUS! You arent scheduled to leave for 3 more minutes let us on!

Okay not on that bus. Half an hour till the next one.

I want to cry - im so happy. So so Happy. 10 years- all of them worth it for this one night!

On the bus. How can you be falling asleep random person? I may never sleep again!

I had a Scream upgrade and let me tell you, I could have left after the “Soundcheck” (Read: Private performance of a few songs) and been completely satisfied with the whole night. I would have considered it money well spent.

Now being in London I was not expecting there to be as many people as there were, and people showed up and bought tickets from the box office as we were standing there.

#tokio hotel #Bill Kaulitz #georg listing #Gustav Schafer #Tom Kaulitz #london

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