#mauerbauertraurigkeit
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Mauerbauertraurigkeit
Sebepsiz yere hayatınızdaki insanları, hatta en yakın arkadaşlarınızı bile kendinizden uzaklaştırma isteği olarak tanımlanıyor. Bir nevi yalnız kalma, depresyonun ön hazırlıklarını yapma benzeri bir duyguyu diyebiliriz.
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MAUERBAUERTRAURIGKEIT chris sturniolo
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎, dwntwn-strnlo.
↳ 𝐀/𝐍. idek how i learned this word
↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. christopher sturniolo x reader
↳ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. the inexplicable urge to push everyone away.
↳ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃? no!
↳ 𝐂𝐖! fluffy sad but like its also sad fluffy but its ok its cute, one use of 'y/n'
you almost fall asleep laying there, tucked into chris' cozy hold. but his tired, hazy voice brings you to open your eyes.
"do you know what mauerbauertraurigkeit means?" he asks, rubbing his thumb along your arm.
you giggle lightly, turning your head to get a better look at chris. trying to meet his eyes, but he stares at the wall. "I dont, I've never even heard of it."
he stays disassociated, zoning off into space. "the inexplicable urge to push everyone away." his voice undeniably gets lighter as he explains it to you. clearly having to had learn about this long enough ago to know the meaning behind it so well.
failing to hide a frown, you nod. "yeah?" you whisper, "do you feel marbertrigit?"
chris gently laughs, a small smile peaking over his lips. "mauerbauertraurigkeit." he corrects you. hesitating slightly before answering your question. "I mean yeah, I feel it with almost everyone. I just want to get up and leave sometimes." his smile disappears and his frown deepens.
seeing how low his mood is, you shift your position and bring your hand up to his face. lightly caressing his cheek. "that's fair," you obviously grow tense in his hold, starting to worry that he wants to push you away. "I mean I feel that too."
he turns the two of you so he's laying on his side, facing you. "but I don't feel it with you." he whispers, trying to stop you from silently freaking out about what you thought he would say.
and it helps, your body loosens a little bit, but you still feel sad that he even knows about this. he clearly feels it if he knows about it, let alone remembers the long word. you gently smile, running your thumb over his freckles.
"I think I feel it with everyone but you, really." he stares deep into your eyes. searching for anything that might hint to what you have to say. "I feel it with my friends, my parents, even nick and matt."
you let the words ring out before giving him your input on the situation. "and thats perfectly okay, everyone needs space sometimes." you whisper, dragging your hand to the back of his head. slowly running your fingers through your hair. "im sure matt and nick have felt it too."
chris closes his eyes for several seconds, taking in your words before looking at you again. his light eyes becoming more pigmented as you stare deeper into them. "i really hope they don't."
pushing yourself closer, you press a soft kiss to his forehead, lingering there as you speak. "if there was anyway i could take this feeling away i would love, i would." you frown lightly, hugging chris as tightly and securely as possible. "i'd take it away so, so fast."
"i know you would," he whispers against your neck, deepening your hug. "thank you, y/n. i love you."
you nod, pressing another kiss to your forehead. "i love you."
TAGLIST
@thetriplets3 @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @fenoy7 @mlimmm @prettysturniolo @ssturniolo @gabbylovesreading @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @matthewmurdockswife @jellybeanbby @slaysturniolo @iheartshifting
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#christopher sturniolo x reader
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A Little OC Ask List of Difficult to Describe Emotions.
Some emotions are difficult to explain clearly. Perhaps your OC has experienced one of these? Can they remember a specific example? If they haven't then can they imagine what it might be like to experience?
Sonder: The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.
Opia: The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that's usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
Jouska: A hypothetical conversation you compulsively play out in your head.
Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you've always had - the same flaws and weaknesses that you've been gnawing on continuously for years.
Greng Jai: A feeling of unwillingess to accept help from someone, out of concern for the trouble it might cause them.
Liberosis: The desire to care less about things than one does.
Dolce Far Niente: A feeling of pleasure from doing absolutely nothing.
Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push other people away, even close friends, lovers or those that you trust.
Enouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in what was once the future, seeing how things turned out, but being unable to tell (or warn) your past self.
Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by exposure to acts of senseless violence.
Exulansis: The urge to give up trying to talk about an experience, because other people are unable to relate to it.
Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know another person.
Attriage: The state of having lost all control over how you feel about someone.
Wildred: The feeling of haunting solitude in extremely remote places.
Mudita: A feeling of joy at another person's good fortune.
Aulasy: The sadness that there’s no way to convey a powerful memory to people who weren’t there at the time.
Ioia: The wish that you could see statistics overlaid on every person you encounter, perhaps to check the strength of their compatibility, measure their trustworthiness, or even just know for certain how they’re really feeling.
Yeorie: A certain scent that has the power to sweep you back into memories of childhood.
Thrapt: Being awed at the impact someone has had on your life, feeling intimidated by how profoundly they helped shape your identity.
Dolonia: A state of unease prompted by people who seem to like you too much, which makes you wonder if they must have you confused with someone else — and feeling vaguely disappointed that they’re unwilling to spend the time it takes getting to know the real you.
Antiophobia: A fear experienced while leaving a loved one, wondering if this will turn out to be the last time you’ll ever see them, and whatever good-bye you tossed their way might have to serve as your final farewell.
Harmonoia: An itchy sense of dread when life feels just a hint too peaceful.
Dolorifuge: Something which brings about a feeling which banishes or mitigates grief.
Compunctious: Feeling remorse or regret, but wishing to avoid actually apologising.
Callosity: A lack of feeling or capacity for emotion.
Mimeomia: The frustration of knowing how easily you fit into a stereotype, even if you never intended to do so.
Pronoia: A strange, creeping feeling that everyone’s out to help you...
Awumbuk: A feeling of emptiness or heaviness after someone else departs.
#OC asks#OC ask meme#OC ask list#oc meme#ffxiv oc#oc development#obscure emotions#unusual words#ff14 ffxiv#ffxiv
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🎧😊
“i stepped around my own encryption code/with you in my marrow, through my heart like an arrow”
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Word of the day: Mauerbauertraurigkeit
Now when I say I'm feeling bit Mauerbauertraurigkeit, hope my folks understand .
#words#fyp#writers on tumblr#germany#depressing shit#december#holiday#winter#word of the day#literature
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Mauerbauertraurigkeit
Nico Di Angelo.
Nico wasn't one for having friends. No, really. He didn't think people deserve to be close to him. He even went to the lengths to push away his boyfriend, Will Solace. That one was a surprise to everyone. Will was only left confused, wondering if he had done something wrong. Nico, however, knew that Will hadn't done anything wrong. He just didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve anyone. As a son of Hades, how could he deserve someone as bright as Will, who was a son of Apollo? How could the darkness love the light? These thoughts flooded Nico everyday. It made him wonder, so, so much, How could Will love me? He had to push them all away, he didn't know why, but he had to.
He couldn't harm them. Not anymore. He was too much for them, wasn't he?
#nico di angelo#soangelo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#pjo#will solace#nico x will
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Why is the fuckin thing I constantly feel
I finally find out what it's called right
Motherfucking
"mauerbauertraurigkeit"
Who the fuck
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Special thanks to @pinkypromiseow2 for showing me this song as it’s now the first song on my empress playlist as it’s very… THEM
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mauerbauertraurigkeit thought this meant masturbation slowness fuck bilingualism fuck dyslexia
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✧ mauerbauertraurigkeit: the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends whose company you generally enjoy.
mauerbauertraurigkeit: the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends whose company you generally enjoy
A temperate wind sourced from a gaping aperture in the Somniel's wall.
He looked out into the clouds below that drifted along their course irreverent of all conflict. When seeking privacy it was this pocket within the floating island that Rafal sought, near to the Ancient Well that once conveyed his passage to this world. Here he moved to lick his wounds in isolation from any others, seeking to be left alone with his thoughts both good and bad.
The sound of a rustling wrapper unfurled. Rafal did not lament his social mistakes. He only acknowledged them. And he had done it yet again - repelled another's friendly overtures not for the first time or the last.
His understanding of his own flaws composed not merely his sins. His annoyance was more often than not irrational; his fierce retorts too harsh and undeserving to be aimed at the agents of his salvation. Deep down these were opinions that he held first and foremost and yet he could not help it. The easy gathering of his storm at the slightest suggestion of mockery, his thinning patience which overruled any other intent. The glares, the retreats, the thorns. All products of instinct, if not walls meant to keep others at distance because they could not be trusted to do so themselves.
After all, he existed within close quarters with droves of identically minded fools. What kindness did a monster like Rafal possibly deserve? To see promise in a vile dragon who had once so ruthlessly shed his own bonds and decimated others was beyond nonsensical.
( . . .and Rafal was a fool no less. )
He twisted his fingers through his hair, a harsh tug of their roots grounding. Upon release he realized the solace settled on his tongue had waned. Depleted of its sugar, a flick of the white lolly stem joined it with the untold others that peppered the floor. Fives, tens, dozens; too many to count. Testament to Rafal who had come before.
And who would undoubtedly come again.
#◜ ₊ — 𝓡 ˚ ₊ 𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ╱ drabble.#floreix#rafal GO to therapy#he can be an asshole ( this has been an established )#it's a 50/50 makeup of him being socially inept as a matter of conflicting cultural values and needing to be harsh to survive#AND because he's a little shit#also i'm really fond of the imagery of rafal's cigarette butts- i mean his lollipop stems- littered in one place#how to find rafal in the somniel 101
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Mauerbauertraurigkeit
The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social tastebuds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.
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Mauerbauertraurigkeit
İnsanları kendinden uzaklaştırmaya yönelik açıklanamaz dürtü, hatta gerçekten sevdiğin yakın arkadaşların.
Bir şeylerin ters gittiğinin ilk işareti, uyuştuğunu hissettiğinde geldi.
Fiziksel anlamda değil, kusura bakmayın. Şey… belki de fiziksel olarak uyuşmuş hissetmiş olabilir… Ama zihinsel olarak etrafındakilere karşı hissizleşiyordu. Özellikle onun güvenini gerçekten kazanan birkaç kişi.
Artık Kefka, İmparator Gestahl'ın Ordusunda son derece saygın bir generaldi. O sadece 25 yaşındaydı ve son yedi yıldır çok çalışarak rütbesine layık olduğunu kanıtladı. İster gençliği, ister cüssesi, ister alışılmışın dışında erkeksi görünümü olsun, her zaman otoritesine meydan okumaya çalışan birileri vardı.
Gestahl onu belirli bir nedenden dolayı seçmişti. İlk Magitek Şövalyesi olacaktı.
19 yaşında enjeksiyonları iki yılda bir almaya başlamıştı. Altı ay önce kendisine “Tebrikler, seçildiniz!” demişti. Görünüşe göre bir onur oldu. İmparatorunu gururlandıracaktı. Bu fırsat için herkes ölürdü ve onu seçtiler. Peki neden bu konuda bu kadar yanlış hissetmişti?
Bu İmparator Kefka'yı şereflendirmek için ne gerekiyorsa yapmaya hazır bir generale ihtiyacımız var.
Ama efendim -
O yetimhaneden çok söz verdin. Sadık bir adamın oğlu bu şansa atlayacakken, küçük bir sokak faresine bu kadar zaman harcamak utanç verici olurdu, değil mi?
Kefka, iğneler onu daha güçlü yapmış olsa da, adama bundan dolayı içerlemişti. Ama bu küskünlük yıllarca derinlerde birikecekti.
İlk zamanlar da çok iyi gitmişti. İlk birkaç yıl yan etkiler o kadar hafifti ki bir gün, etrafındaki tek bir kişinin hiçbir şey ifade etmediğini anlayana kadar. Zamanla nefretin yavaş yavaş yeşereceği Gestahl değil. Celes değil, eğittiği ve onu bir kardeş olarak gördüğü sihri enjekte eden küçük kız. Cid değil, ona bu enjeksiyonların güvenli olduğuna dair güvence veren doktor. Celes ile birlikte eğittiği küçük Esper kızı Terra değil. Ve hepsinden kötüsü, çok yakınlaştığı ve derinden değer verdiği Leo değil.
Kefka artık umurunda değildi ve umurunda olmaması umrunda değildi. Her an hayattan vazgeçebileceğini ve bunun en ufak bir fark yaratmayacağını biliyordu.
Böylece tüm zamanını yalnız geçirmeye başladı.
Bu tutum, önümüzdeki on yıl içinde yavaş yavaş çok daha çarpık bir şeye dönüşecek, çevresindekilerin ondan kaçınmasına neden olacak, ki bu inanılmaz derecede hoştu ve yerini tam bir ayrışmaya ve yıkım ihtiyacına ve ardından kendi kendini
#siyah1gezegen#siyah ve beyaz#sinirlerim bozuldu#mauerbauertraurigkeit#bazı şeyler#blog post#post#postlarım#edebiyat#acı#umutsuzluğun doruklarında#yalnızlık#black and white#books & libraries#blogger#alıntı
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CHRIS STURNIOLO masterlist
WRITERS CHOICE ...
parent teacher conference - chris meets readers parents 0.4k
because i liked a boy - the song 0.8k
jealousy, jealousy - jealous chris ig 0.9k
here - friends to lovers, angst 1.1k
dream daughter - meeting the sturniolos 0.5k
diner - waiter! chris headcanons 0.3k
snow on the beach - weird but fuckin beautiful 0.6k
mauerbauertraurigkeit - the inexplicable urge to push people away 0.6k
HEADCANONS . . .
boy dad chris
diner waiter chris
BLURBS . . .
disney.
deer.
sleepy.
private.
long days.
TEXTS . . .
part 1
part 2
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The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows Prompts, Part Two
I originally made this prompt list for personal use, but decided to make a rebloggable version. Feel free to use for your own writing prompts. 🥰
Adapted from here.
énouement n. the bittersweetness of having arrived here in the future, where you can finally get the answers to how things turn out in the real world.
mal de coucou n. a phenomenon in which you have an active social life but very few close friends.
la gaudière n. the glint of goodness inside people, which you can only find by sloshing them back and forth in your mind until everything dark and gray and common falls away.
fata organa n. a flash of real emotion glimpsed in someone sitting across the room, idly locked in the middle of some group conversation, their eyes glinting with vulnerability or quiet anticipation or cosmic boredom.
sonder n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
kenopsia n. the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that’s usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
Mauerbauertraurigkeit n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.
jouska n. a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head, which serves as a kind of psychological batting cage where you can connect more deeply with people than in the small ball of everyday life.
ecstatic shock n. the surge of energy upon catching a glance from someone you like, which scrambles your ungrounded circuits and tempts you to chase that feeling with a kite and a key.
anchorage n. the desire to hold on to time as it passes.
kairosclerosis n. the moment you realize that you’re currently happy, which prompts your intellect to identify it, pick it apart and put it in context, where it will slowly dissolve until it’s little more than an aftertaste.
chrysalism n. the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
heartworm n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished.
anthrodynia n. a state of exhaustion with how shitty people can be to each other, typically causing a countervailing sense of affection for things that are sincere but not judgmental, are unabashedly joyful, or just are.
xeno n. the smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers.
the wends n. frustration that you’re not enjoying an experience as much as you should, even something you’ve worked for years to attain.
hanker sore adj. finding a person so attractive it actually kinda pisses you off.
waldosia n. a condition characterized by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there.
backmasking n. the instinctive tendency to see someone as you knew them in their youth.
Funkenzwangsvorstellung n. the instinctive trance of a campfire in the dark.
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11 شعور يشعر به الانسان لكن لا يستطيع شرحه او تفسيره
1- Jouska: محادثه خياليه لا تكف عن تمثيلها في عقلك
2- Mauerbauertraurigkeit: الرغبه الغير مفسرة بابعاد كل البشر عنك ، حتى اصدقائك و من تحب
3- Exulansis: فقدان الرغبه في الحديث عن شيء يخصك او تجربه مررت بها لان من حولك لا يستطيعون فهمك
4- Liberosis: الرغبه في ان تتوقف عن الاهتمام بالاشياء
5- Sonder: الاستيعاب المفاجيء ان لكل عابر امامك حياة خاصه به ، معقده مثل حياتك
6- Opia: الشعور الغامض بالحماس عند النظر لعيني شخص ما ، مما يجعلك تشعر بالتوتر و العدائية و الضعف في آنٍ واحد
7- Kenopsia: الجو الغريب البائس الذي تشعر به عند دخول مكان اعتاد ان يكون مليئًا بالبشر و لكنه الان هاديء و مهجور
8- Kuebiko: الشعور بالتعب و الارهاق بسبب تعنيف غير محسوس و نفسي ممن حولك او من نفسك
9- Nodus Tollens: استيعاب ان حياتك و حبكتها لم تعد تعني اي شيء بعد الان و اصبحت غير مفهومه بالنسبه لك
10- Altschmerz: الارهاق بسبب عيوبك التي لطالما كنت تمتلكها و تقاتلها لسنوات
11- Monachopsis: الشعور المستمر لكن غير ملحوظ بكونك لست في المكان الصحيح
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Title: Rings
Author: @regurgitatedsoup
Fandom: Ghost
Pairing: Cardinal Copia and Papa Emeritus III
Characters: Cardinal Copia, Papa Emeritus III, Papa Emeritus II, Papa Emeritus I, various nameless ghouls, and sister Imperator
Notes: NOT INCEST FIC, COPIA AND PAPA THREE ARE NOT RELATED AND THE STORY DOES ELABORATE ON THAT
Summary:
Five times Copia found Terzo to be ignorant, conceited, lazy, and immature and one time he didn’t
Alternatively: Five times Terzo found Copia to be stuck up, boring, and infuriating, and one time he didn’t
#ghost band#copiiia#Cardinal copia x papa emeritus III#nameless ghouls#fanfiction#ghost fanfiction#cardinal copia#papa emeritus III
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