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blackwoolncrown · 1 year

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Reading list for Afro-Herbalism:

A Healing Grove: African Tree Remedies and Rituals for the Body and Spirit by Stephanie Rose Bird

Affrilachia: Poems by Frank X Walker

African American Medicine in Washington, D.C.: Healing the Capital During the Civil War Era by Heather Butts

African American Midwifery in the South: Dialogues of Birth, Race, and Memory by Gertrude Jacinta Fraser

African American Slave Medicine: Herbal and Non-Herbal Treatments by Herbert Covey

African Ethnobotany in the Americas edited by Robert Voeks and John Rashford

Africanisms in the Gullah Dialect by Lorenzo Dow Turner

Africans and Native Americans: The Language of Race and the Evolution of Red-Black Peoples by Jack Forbes

African Medicine: A Complete Guide to Yoruba Healing Science and African Herbal Remedies by Dr. Tariq M. Sawandi, PhD

Afro-Vegan: Farm-Fresh, African, Caribbean, and Southern Flavors Remixed by Bryant Terry

Barracoon: The Story of the Last “Black Cargo” by Zora Neale Hurston

Big Mama’s Back in the Kitchen by Charlene Johnson

Big Mama’s Old Black Pot by Ethel Dixon

Black Belief: Folk Beliefs of Blacks in America and West Africa by Henry H. Mitchell

Black Diamonds, Vol. 1 No. 1 and Vol. 1 Nos. 2–3 edited by Edward J. Cabbell

Black Faces, White Spaces: Reimagining the Relationship of African Americans to the Great Outdoors by Carolyn Finney

Black Food Geographies: Race, Self-Reliance, and Food Access in Washington, D.C. by Ashanté M. Reese

Black Indian Slave Narratives edited by Patrick Minges

Black Magic: Religion and the African American Conjuring Tradition by Yvonne P. Chireau

Black Nature: Four Centuries of African American Nature Poetry edited by Camille T. Dungy

Blacks in Appalachia edited by William Turner and Edward J. Cabbell

Caribbean Vegan: Meat-Free, Egg-Free, Dairy-Free Authentic Island Cuisine for Every Occasion by Taymer Mason

Dreams of Africa in Alabama: The Slave Ship Clotilda and the Story of the Last Africans Brought to America by Sylviane Diouf

Faith, Health, and Healing in African American Life by Emilie Townes and Stephanie Y. Mitchem

Farming While Black: Soul Fire Farm’s Practical Guide to Liberation on the Land by Leah Penniman

Folk Wisdom and Mother Wit: John Lee – An African American Herbal Healer by John Lee and Arvilla Payne-Jackson

Four Seasons of Mojo: An Herbal Guide to Natural Living by Stephanie Rose Bird

Freedom Farmers: Agricultural Resistance and the Black Freedom Movement by Monica White

Fruits of the Harvest: Recipes to Celebrate Kwanzaa and Other Holidays by Eric Copage

George Washington Carver by Tonya Bolden

George Washington Carver: In His Own Words edited by Gary Kremer

God, Dr. Buzzard, and the Bolito Man: A Saltwater Geechee Talks About Life on Sapelo Island, Georgia by Cornelia Bailey

Gone Home: Race and Roots through Appalachia by Karida Brown

Ethno-Botany of the Black Americans by William Ed Grime

Gullah Cuisine: By Land and by Sea by Charlotte Jenkins and William Baldwin

Gullah Culture in America by Emory Shaw Campbell and Wilbur Cross

Gullah/Geechee: Africa’s Seeds in the Winds of the Diaspora-St. Helena’s Serenity by Queen Quet Marquetta Goodwine

High on the Hog: A Culinary Journey from Africa to America by Jessica Harris and Maya Angelou

Homecoming: The Story of African-American Farmers by Charlene Gilbert

Hoodoo Medicine: Gullah Herbal Remedies by Faith Mitchell

Jambalaya: The Natural Woman’s Book of Personal Charms and Practical Rituals by Luisah Teish

Just Medicine: A Cure for Racial Inequality in American Health Care by Dayna Bowen Matthew

Leaves of Green: A Handbook of Herbal Remedies by Maude E. Scott

Like a Weaving: References and Resources on Black Appalachians by Edward J. Cabbell

Listen to Me Good: The Story of an Alabama Midwife by Margaret Charles Smith and Linda Janet Holmes

Making Gullah: A History of Sapelo Islanders, Race, and the American Imagination by Melissa Cooper

Mandy’s Favorite Louisiana Recipes by Natalie V. Scott

Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present by Harriet Washington

Mojo Workin’: The Old African American Hoodoo System by Katrina Hazzard-Donald

Motherwit: An Alabama Midwife’s Story by Onnie Lee Logan as told to Katherine Clark

My Bag Was Always Packed: The Life and Times of a Virginia Midwife by Claudine Curry Smith and Mildred Hopkins Baker Roberson

My Face Is Black Is True: Callie House and the Struggle for Ex-Slave Reparations by Mary Frances Berry

My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem

On Her Own Ground: The Life and Times of Madam C.J. Walker by A'Lelia Bundles

Papa Jim’s Herbal Magic Workbook by Papa Jim

Places for the Spirit: Traditional African American Gardens by Vaughn Sills (Photographer), Hilton Als (Foreword), Lowry Pei (Introduction)

Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Dr. Joy DeGruy

Rooted in the Earth: Reclaiming the African American Environmental Heritage by Diane Glave

Rufus Estes’ Good Things to Eat: The First Cookbook by an African-American Chef by Rufus Estes

Secret Doctors: Ethnomedicine of African Americans by Wonda Fontenot

Sex, Sickness, and Slavery: Illness in the Antebellum South by Marli Weiner with Mayzie Hough

Slavery’s Exiles: The Story of the American Maroons by Sylviane Diouf

Soul Food: The Surprising Story of an American Cuisine, One Plate at a Time by Adrian Miller

Spirituality and the Black Helping Tradition in Social Work by Elmer P. Martin Jr. and Joanne Mitchell Martin

Sticks, Stones, Roots & Bones: Hoodoo, Mojo & Conjuring with Herbs by Stephanie Rose Bird

The African-American Heritage Cookbook: Traditional Recipes and Fond Remembrances from Alabama’s Renowned Tuskegee Institute by Carolyn Quick Tillery

The Black Family Reunion Cookbook (Recipes and Food Memories from the National Council of Negro Women) edited by Libby Clark

The Conjure Woman and Other Conjure Tales by Charles Chesnutt

The Home Place: Memoirs of a Colored Man’s Love Affair with Nature by J. Drew Lanham

The Jemima Code: Two Centuries of African American Cookbooks by Toni Tipton-Martin

The President’s Kitchen Cabinet: The Story of the African Americans Who Have Fed Our First Families, from the Washingtons to the Obamas by Adrian Miller

The Taste of Country Cooking: The 30th Anniversary Edition of a Great Classic Southern Cookbook by Edna Lewis

The Tuskegee Syphilis Study: An Insiders’ Account of the Shocking Medical Experiment Conducted by Government Doctors Against African American Men by Fred D. Gray

Trace: Memory, History, Race, and the American Landscape by Lauret E. Savoy

Vegan Soul Kitchen: Fresh, Healthy, and Creative African-American Cuisine by Bryant Terry

Vibration Cooking: Or, The Travel Notes of a Geechee Girl by Vertamae Smart-Grosvenor

Voodoo and Hoodoo: The Craft as Revealed by Traditional Practitioners by Jim Haskins

When Roots Die: Endangered Traditions on the Sea Islands by Patricia Jones-Jackson

Working Conjure: A Guide to Hoodoo Folk Magic by Hoodoo Sen Moise

Working the Roots: Over 400 Years of Traditional African American Healing by Michelle Lee

Wurkn Dem Rootz: Ancestral Hoodoo by Medicine Man

Zora Neale Hurston: Folklore, Memoirs, and Other Writings: Mules and Men, Tell My Horse, Dust Tracks on a Road, Selected Articles by Zora Neale Hurston

The Ways of Herbalism in the African World with Olatokunboh Obasi MSc, RH (webinar via The American Herbalists Guild)

#herbalism #african american #rootwork #african #native american #hoodoo #voodoo

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trapped-in-jasper · 1 year

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Location: the library

time: any

@icebird-khion

Jasper rolled around on the shelf ladder. “I’m like fucking Beauty and the Beast. Or is it Ariel? Fuck if I can remember. All the princess look the same anyway.” He was actually looking for a book, but there was no reason not to also have fun while doing so. Leaning farther than he should, definitely not keeping three limbs on the ladder like proper, he caught a book and flipped through it before tossing it aside. It joined the floating pile of books behind him, fluttering quietly like pigeons.

“Aha! Found you, you dodgy cunt!” Snatching a mouldering tome out from between a scroll and something in papyrus, Jasper clutched the text to his chest and dropped off the ladder, floating from the second story of shelves down to the floor. Seeing his favourite ice-bird, he sidled up, grinning. “Found it. The sexual history of Maude I. Dirty old cow. She had some sort of recipe for a potion that makes you last all night long. Said to cause hallucinations and body tremors, though that might be from all the shagging, she was a randy thing by all accounts.” He gestured at the other book that he’d tucked into his coat pocket. “This one is the sexual diary of Richard I. Supposedly he and Saladin used to sneak off from the crusades to fuck in a tent. The positions he describes sound a bit unlikely but I love the man’s enthusiastic pen marks.”

#c: Khion

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gogandmagog · 8 months

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so what are your favorite episodes of the maudcast so far?? I really enjoyed the one with andrea mckenzie (if I am thinking of the right one lol)

YES, I loved that one too! This is where I first heard of "Aunt Maud's Recipe Book," but the second place was your tumblr, just last night! If I had any talents in the kitchen, I would get a copy, too! I'm so excited you're posting about it! You bless the tumblr Maudience with so much! (Is there a Liniment Cake recipe?) My personal favourite so far has been S2EP3, because it educated me a lot on Maud's time in SK, and her encounters with the First Nations population there. It's a 'difficult conversation' for those participating, but very interesting to me, of course. It also brings together Anne Shirley and Anne Frank. It's a longer one... an hour, I think. Jumps around a bit. Have you listened to this one yet? I should probably confess that I haven't made my way through the entire catalogue just yet. I’ve been picking and choosing in a grossly unorganised way. Some of the episodes, forgive me for this, I thought were very… skippable (I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’m so sorry)! 😅 I'm endlessly grateful that the Maudcast exists at all, but I think I would have done well to remember that it is the podcast of the Institute, so yes naturally, there are times they will want to focus more on their scholars and visiting professionals, instead of Maud's life or work exclusively (this especially of the earlier episodes).

#it was very tempting to vote for maudcast discussion in your poll!#i ended up with ‘all of the above’

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theretirementstory · 6 months

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Greetings from a damp and drizzling Bar-sur-Aube, where the temperature is currently 6c.

This week I have been in full Christmas mode, I bought cards for my grandchildren as well as a Disney colour and sticker book for each of them, yes they have to be posted but I am sure they will enjoy working on them. Anyone who knows me well, knows that Christmas is not my favourite time of year but since moving to France I have taken an interest in baking Christmas cake and making my own mincemeat (above photo) for mince pies. I have made stuffed dates, peppermint creams, ginger biscuits and crunchies (biscuits my mum used to make) plus chutneys and even golden syrup! I have given (some) of these to friends for Christmas (which I think they have liked). I have also made my Christmas and New Years Day “special” by making myself a lovely meal which has about 4 or 5 courses and which I eat over 2-3 hours.

Anie came to see me on Sunday and brought some dried sunflower heads, she put them into the garden and all I had to do was wait for the birds to come to feast on them. I wasn’t disappointed there were mesange charbonniere (photo below) as well as what I call “spuggies” not all of which are sparrows.

As the cleaner had tested positive for Covid, I was left to my own devices all week. I dealt with my usual chores and on Friday I messaged her to see if she was feeling better, yes, she had tested negative so she will be coming on Monday 😊.

Pauline is back in town 😊, she has returned from Dublin and won’t be going back. She brought with her some lurgy so won’t be coming to visit until she is completely well. Having not seen Monique for over two weeks , she told me she had bronchitis. It is self diagnosed and she has been treating it with thyme 🤔 yes the herb, I think a visit to the doctor may have been a good idea (my thoughts only). I mentioned that I had made some English delicacies (didn’t quite know how to describe making mincemeat). She said oh can you send me the recipes…… well heck no! Translating ingredients and method not my idea of whiling away a good few hours of my time, maybe try google! Maud may come to visit this afternoon but as it looks as if the rain is set in for the day she may put it off. I wouldn’t be too bothered either way as beef is in the NEW slow cooker (oh no, just realised I haven’t used a liner for the pot, what a numpty) and it will be ready anytime I am ready.

It was the meeting of the knitting group on Friday and I had intended to call in, however, with Claudine telling me that one lady had been hospitalised with viral meningitis (I was going to take some fabric for her) I put it out of my head. I was just composing a message to Claudine when she messaged me, the lady was back from hospital and at the group. I almost threw my coat on and drove up then changed my mind. I will go for a short time on the 24th (I hope) if I am not too fatigued.

I have been buying new clothes, following the weight loss (almost 18kg), and have been fortunate to pick up some bargains along the way. Well the bargains have now extended beyond clothes and onto …… plants! Yes the local supermarket were selling a large chrysanthemum plant half price (I picked the one that looked the “freshest”) they also had a cyclamen with flowers that were so droopy I prayed that some water would revive it. Anyway, brought them home, stood them outside, gave them water and just left them. We had sunshine that day, plus it poured with rain during the night, what a difference that made to the cyclamen, the flowers were upright with more buds waiting to open the following morning. Not so the poinsettia that I had stored in a dark place through the summer. I really do not think that it will grow again, what a shame it was beautiful last year.

“The Daddy” and I are still working in tandem doing the Tesco order for my elderly relative who lives in London. I rang her yesterday and she had her list all ready. I will be inputting that as soon as possible.

Speaking of “The Daddy” he will called in to look after his daughter on Monday as it was a teacher training day at her school. They had a good time, then he went to collect his son from nursery, where he was told that his son had been “trouble” that day. My grandson told me he had pushed someone and poked another person in the eye, now not sure if these were “accidents” but when he related them to me he had an impish grin on his face 😉. The children are with Daddy this weekend and had a visit to York yesterday, to get new clothes. It’s not easy being a single parent coping with two children in busy streets but he does it. Mind you he said they had worn him out yesterday.

“The Trainee Solicitor” has (finally) prepared his course application for Uni, he had left it for his boss to sign and would then email it to the University. I am pleased he has got that sorted. He was left in charge for three days this week. He has dealt with a lot of work and it was noted and appreciated. Mind you it has left him very tired but he has still had time to read his books (a good form of relaxation).

“The Ex-Graduate” has also been trying to catch up on rest following her gruelling 40 odd hour working week the week before. Fortunately she had Thursday and Friday at home. She caught up with the housework, did the school run for her young sister on Friday and she too managed relaxation time with her book. They are busy deciding on a theme for Xmas decorations. I do believe it is just going to be small gifts this year as they are both busy saving. I know a nice holiday next year would be appreciated by both but there are other things that take precedence.

Having still not heard anything from the hospital about starting my next treatment, I rang again. The lady explained that I would receive a call after 13 November. I hope they give me more than one days notice!

Now to this weeks songs, for the first one we go right back to 1967 (wow I was still at junior school, the one that faces onto the Terry’s Chocolate Factory (ok so the chocolate factory is gone and the building is flats now but I can live in the past sometimes can’t I). It’s “The Letter” by the Box Tops. I have to say for the past 56 years I always believed that this group were black, what a surprise to ses a video and guess what they are all white!

The next song is “Night Games”, realised in 1981, by Skegness born Graham Bonnet. Bonnet was one of the duo “The Marbles” who had a hit with “Only One Woman” in 1968 the B side of which is “By the Light of the Burning Candle” another great song written by the Gibb brothers. Bonnet also was vocalist for Rainbow on songs such as “All Night Long” and “Since You Been Gone”.

Now it’s time to (perhaps) have a walk, prepare for a friends visit, do some knitting or none of the above 😂.

Have a good week until next week.

#nature #trees #photography #baking #60’s music #80’s music #livingthedream #barsuraube

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evermorehqs · 1 year

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CATCHING MY BREATH, STARING OUT AN OPEN WINDOW

Rapunzel Gothel is based on Rapunzel from Tangled. She is a 35 year old gifted human, painter, and uses she/her pronouns. She has the power of magic hair. Rapunzel is portrayed by Amanda Seyfried and she is taken.

CATCHING MY DEATH, AND I COULDN’T BE SURE

Rapunzel could not remember life outside of her tower. For the first three decades after she was born, she was lonely, only Pascal, her adoptive mother and art supplies to keep her company. She painted every wall in the house. She learned new languages, she read books, she practiced new recipes, she filled her time with whatever she could; but still, she longed to see the world. She would gaze out her window for hours, dreaming of what it must be like. And she felt guilty, for she knew Maude was only trying to keep her safe, and would bring her everything she could ask for. But the one thing she wanted, her only dream, was to see the floating lights that appeared every year on her birthday. No matter how much she begged and pleaded, her mother would not budge. Rapunzel swore to herself and her best friend she’d find a way, but she didn’t expect it to be in the form of Flynn Rider... right before her birthday. At first she believed him to be a monster that had climbed through her window, but eventually came to the conclusion he was only a man. A man that could be coerced into helping her out. Convincing her mother to take a three day trip was the first step. Convincing him to help was next. It was lucky she was such a persuasive person. Her plan was successful, but little did she know the events that she had set in motion. All of the bad people Maude Gothel had warned her of for over thirty years, Rapunzel never expected her to be the worst of all. When the truth came out, it hit like a ton of bricks. It was almost unbelievable. She was the one the lanterns were released for all along, the lost princess, kidnapped from her cradle by none other than the woman she had known as her mother for her entire life. Gothel tried to take one last thing from her before fleeing, but luckily her tears held the same magic as her hair, and she was able to stop Flynn from slipping away from her. From then on life was a dream itself, giddy in love, reconnected with her parents, taking on the duties of princess that had awaited her for so many years. Evermore was supposed to be nothing but a town to pass through on the way to an event, not a permanent stop, not even a temporary stop. It was a cruel joke, to gain her freedom only to have it ripped away from her all over again. But she was a glass half full kind of person, and certain that everything would work out how it was meant to. She started a small business selling her art and taking commissions to paint the walls and shops around town, and has enjoyed every moment. Lately she swears she’s been seeing Maude lurking as she works, but when she goes to point the woman out, she seems to vanish in thin air. With the nightmares that pop up, Rapunzel is starting to wonder if she’s simply imagining it as a trauma response, or if the woman that raised her has come around for revenge.

I HAD A FEELING SO PECULIAR

❀ Emilio A. Bahamondes: He is very good at what he does, and with art being her number one passion, Rapunzel has drawn inspiration from him more than once. She gets intimidated around him, almost like he’s a celebrity and she’s a nervous fan. ❀ Anna Arikoğlu: One of the sweetest people she’s met and someone that hails from royalty as well, Rapunzel feels a connection to Anna. Though she doesn’t know what it’s like to grow up as a princess, there’s a mutual understanding and she’d consider the woman one of her very best friends. ❀ Bon Zarai: The arcade is one of her favorite places to stop. While she played video games before to pass the time, the atmosphere is so different there, and she loves when Bon is working. He always has a good joke to tell.

THAT THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE

#disney rpg #amanda seyfried #tangled #princess rapunzel #rapunzel #female bio #has powers #taken bio #taken female

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muteoilydiscolour · 3 years

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Year in Review

Yes I’m posting this way into January. HOWEVER, time isn’t real. I started making this post in Dec and then left it in my drafts, which is something I do pretty much every year! So let’s pretend ‘this year’ means 2020

a picture of you taken this year

This was at an fun exhibition in a huge decrepid warehouse, when things were briefly open in October

talk about movies this year

I work in a cinema so usually watch a lot of movies, but that hasn’t happened as much this year! I managed to miss out on two films because of lockdown 1 + 2 - And Then We Danced and Saint Maud, which I still really want to see!

My fav films I watched this year are The Lighthouse, Parasite, David Copperfield, My Own Private Idaho, Ema (I guess, the plot was wild but the production is great), Shirley, Sunset Boulevard and Nausicaa

talk about television this year

GUYS. It’s taken 6 years but I have nearly finished The X-Files! Or, I’ve made it to season 9. I’ve been a bit put off because I hate Doggett but Reyes is cool and there’s still a lot of fun eps! Other faves from this year: Drag Race UK, What We Do in the Shadows, Succession, I May Destroy You, Feel Good, BoJack Horseman, Schitt’s Creek, Ratched, and Pose (not from this year but I finally watch s2 and loved it!)

talk about books this year

I have literally read 3 books this year: Convenience Store Woman, Song of Solomon and The Body Keeps the Score. All good, esp the latter 2. I bought a bunch of books just before lockdown but then my brain dissolved into a fine mush. I’ve just started The Brothers Karamazov, which I’m enjoying! I didn’t realise Dostoyevsky could be funny.

talk about food this year

food is lyf

My birthday is at the end of March so I spent it essentially alone (my housemates were around but they don’t count), and I spent several hours making and icing my birthday cake.

At the beginning of lockdown I got into making myself nice breakfasts of waffles or pancakes with lots of fruit/yoghurt/honey.

Some recipe recs:

Leek, Pesto and Squash Pie (I made this with added peas/kale/veggie sausage, and mashed potato on top)

Jambalaya (I make this without chicken and use veg stock)

Spaghetti alla Puttanesca (I have only recently started to appreciate the greatness of spaghetti)

Salted Caramel Pear Cake

Carrot Cake

talk about music this year

Spotify playlist of songs I’ve enjoyed this year!

Fav albums:

Fiona Apple - Fetch the Bolt Cutters

Sufjan Stevens - The Ascension

Porridge Radio - Every Bad

Rina Sawayama - SAWAYAMA

Moses Sumney - Grae

Yves Tumor - Heaven to a Tortured Mind (this is currently on repeat!)

Perfume Genius - Set My Heart on Fire Immediately

Jessie Ware - What’s Your Pleasure

Dorian Electra - My Agenda

Having some of my favs release albums means I’ve been able to read lots of interviews with them, such as this Fiona Apple interview.

talk about art this year

I was lucky enough to do a London trip at the end of Feb (and met @angelsofashes IRL!) so I got to look at a bunch of art then, although I think just went to the White Cube Bermondsey and the Tate Modern extension which I hadn’t got round to visiting before.

OH and in the National Portrait Gallery I discovered young Charles Dickens is my doppelganger which I still find hilarious.

something that made you proud this year

I finished my Graphic Arts MA in January and got a distinction! I worked so hard on my final project so it was nice to have that recognised even though it’s essentially meaningless. I also was lucky enough to have a final show.

Other than that, proud of everyone for making it through I guess!

something that made you laugh this year

A lot of bad memes, such as:

something that made you sad this year

*Gestures at everything*

something that made you happy this year

Friends, sunshine, watching people walk their dogs

your favorite photo this year

idk, I take so many photos - but here’s a nice cat refusing to face the camera

what you learned this year

I’ve kind of learned how to use After Effects! Slowly getting better at animation

travel you did this year

I managed to do a few trips around Devon/London/Kent in Feb/Mar, which was pretty lucky. Aside from that... uhhhhhhhh

I also bought a railcard in Feb lmao, and they’re not refunding or extending them, of course

Something which caught your interest this year

I’ve been listening to podcasts all the time (as a substitute for actual company I guess!) Literally one of the few things keeping me sane. Some recs:

You’re Wrong About

Museum of the Vanishing Dog (shoutout to tumblr user @boyhood!)

Caraboo Projects loops

talk about politics or current events this year

uhhhhhhhhh

tbh the US election was a welcome distraction, esp as it happened when I had to Covid isolate - nice for an election result to not be disastrous for once

3 goals for next year

Find somewhere to live (I’m being chucked out of my current place this summer because, mysteriously, they want to make it a student flat)

Survive/stay healthy if possible

Maybe search for that elusive 5-figure salary

talk about things you are excited for next year.

uhhhhhhhhhh

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#year in review

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vancilocs · 3 years

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Long time no malor and yakov aaand radu and aaron?

darn bus wifi doesn't wanna connect so mobile data and phone it is

1) who does the grocery shopping?

They trade eggs and bread and whatever Malor managed to hunt to other goods, usually it's Malor out and about especially in the mornings with the freshest of eggs

Depends on who's available, if Ace happens to be coming home at an opportune time he can go to the store

2) who gets to shower/bathe first after sexy time?

Whoever wants to go first and take a dip in the nearby stream

Radu takes longer so probably Aaron

3) who spends the most time naked?

Neither much, Yakov more, cold doesn't affect him as much

If anyone then Aaron

4) who tends to initiate sex?

Pretty equal but Malor more

Aaron is careful abt Radu's boundaries especially in the beginning but he can ask too, so both. Though keep Radu's mental health in mind if he has three deadlines coming up boning is the last thing on his mind

5) who goes to sleep first?

Yakov, sometimes gotta ask the mans to come to bed when he's fletching arrows in candlelight

Radu, need a nap

6) who’s bigger in the downstairs department (metaphorically or physically)?

Ehh equal, adult and experienced men

Radu needs to build a lot of confidence first but he's got experience too. Not necessarily the best but still

7) who gets up first in the mornings?

Malor, check on chikies, make breakfast

If there's no schedule, could be either

8) who says ‘I love you’ first?

Yakov, soft ol man

Aaron said it in a friendly way, Radu in a romantic way

9) who gets baby-crazy when they see children?

Yakov is more fond of kids, especially Maud, she's basically his stepdaughter (and his goddaughter) and loves handing out cookies and meeting new babies but has never really wanted a kid of his very own. Malor is more neutral, sure he loves the clan kids as well but doesn't want his own

Radu a lil bit when his cousins and friends had kids, his mom has always talked about how much she wanted a baby and how wonderful it has been, he wants one too

10) who steals the others clothes?

Malor don't need pants when wearing one of Yakov's shirts. Also a ho for being wrapped inside his cloak

Radu is a big fan of taking Ace's shirts and hoodies as soon as he drops them

11) who cooks better?

Malor is a bit better but in exchange Yakov is a great baker

Radu enjoys cooking when he has the energy and has his mom's good recipes. Aaron is alright too when not stoned

12) who leads when dancing?

Yakov

Radu, semi-professional dancer (if they're not just swaying around)

13) who makes the puns/shitty references?

Neither really, though both love egg puns

Kinda both, music jokes and such

14) who stays up late, reading books whilst the other tries to sleep?

Malor makes arrows until Yakov blows his candle out and makes him go to bed

If either then Ace, Radu is beddy-bye bro

15) who pops the question? (and how?)

Malor waited for Yakov to ask, very cozily at home after dinner with no fanfare.

Radu under a streetlight when it was after dark and snowing

16) who gets jealous when people flirt with their partner?

Nobody really flirts with either so no jealousy issues anywhere

Radu is ready to down his drink and fight a bitch in a second.

17) who does the best pranks?

The kids might prank them sometimes but nothing severe

Radu at least is not comfortable enough to mess with someone

18) who drinks all the tea?

Both enjoy it but Malor is the one who comes inside from the freezing cold and situates himself in front of the fireplace under a blanket and with a piping hot mug of tea

Radu enjoys it, also helps him cut back on coffee + something to do when craving a cigarette

19) who is the most ticklish?

Malor

I dunno. Could be either

20) who is the loudest in bed?

Eh both are pretty quiet

Radu and he's embarrassed about it

21) who has the most experience in relationships?

Yakov was married but Malor has had more partners, they're both plenty experienced

Both have had experience, Radu more negative and I suppose the longer relationship

22) who has the crazy ex?

Neither, Malor's old boss didn't approve of him hanging around humans but literally everyone else was like dude what the fuck

Radu though Ace has had his wacky moments as well

23) who handles their drink better?

Yakov, big

Tough, I'd say they're even bc while Ace is big and no stranger to drinking Radu has built a big tolerance

24) who feels they’re inadequate for their partner’s love?

Yakov sometimes, he's sad

Radu big time

25) who gets passive aggressive in a argument?

Neither, they're adults

Radu has a hard time arguing, so he might get sassy bc he's too nervous to directly say what's wrong

26) who has the most scars?

Yakov's arm was almost bitten in half by a bear, it's pretty mangled. Got scratches on his chest too. Malor's scars are mainly on his hands from a knife or an arrow

Radu has plenty on his knees and hands from falling over, one on his eyebrow

27) who has nightmares?

Yakov but thankfully it's rare nowadays

Radu sometimes, anxiety-induced

28) who brings the stray puppy home and begs to keep it?

One of the village kids brings in an animal they found in the forest

Ace or Isaac

29) who screams during horror movies?

Neither

Neither...?

30) who cries the most?

Yakov, Malor is the kind who hasn't cried in like 35 years

Radu, sometimes you gotta

#at least the phone charger works #long oc thing

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daphnesvieira · 4 years

Text

Tag Game:

Thank you @anchor-bird-94 for the tag.

How are you today? Tired. I’m a mother of 2 boys and pregnant with a 3rd so that’s pretty much like my perpetual state of being though.

Favorite pastime? Spending time with family, reading Bughead fanfics or watching TV.

Sweet or sour? I’m a total sweet tooth!

Posters or paint? I don’t like to paint, so definitely posters! In fact, posters can hide bad paint jobs: win-win!

Favorite book? My all-time favourite book is Jane of Lantern Hill by Lucy Maud Montgomery. I reread every single year.

Movie? My heart will forever belong to Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain (I think the English translation is just Amelie). It never fails to bring me joy.

Favorite song? Oh that’s a hard one... But I always come back to Pierre Lapointe. Not necessarily one specific song, but always him.

Pineapple on pizza? OMG yes! Hawaiian pizza is one of my faves to get!

Describe yourself in 3 words? That’s hard to answer... I think people would describe me as: kind, loving and friendly. Or at least it’s what I strive to be so I hope I come off that way!

If you could visit one place in the world, where would it be? There are SO MANY places on my Bucket List! Including, but not limited to: Italy, Greece, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Ireland, Iceland, French Polynesia. And so many more!

Would you rather be a writer or a doctor? I would be a terrible doctor because I care way too much and I’m overly emotional (moreso even now that I have kids) and I work with writers, so I’d be a much better writer than doctor. Even though I’m not really talented at all.

Favorite thing to eat? I think pizza. There’s this saying that I love that goes something like: sex is like pizza, even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good. I’ve had bad sex so I don’t agree with the analogy, but the pizza part sure is true in my personal experience! Pizza is always good, even when it’s kind of bad.

Favorite thing to make? I’m a baker, so desserts are my jam (pun absolutely intended)! I think the recipe I make most is brownies because it’s so easy and quick and the ingredients for it are *always* in my pantry. But my favourite thing to make is cookies. Oh and crepes! I make crepes every weekend for my family! We’ve had that tradition in my family for as long as I can remember. Crepes are the very first thing I learned how to make when I was maybe 10-11 years old.

Tagging: @cheryllclayton @lizzybuggie @sabrinas1d @edgelordjonesthethird @jandjsalmon @laurie526 and whoever else wants to do it!

#about me #tag game #anchor-bird-94 #friends not followers

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batrachised · 8 months

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LM Montgomery also published a cookbook which I am buying today and I am publicly stating that (assuming ingredients are easily accessible) I am going to try every recipe

#lm montgomery #Aunt Maud's Recipe Book

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conservativetradlife · 4 years

Note

18, 23, 29

Thankyou for responding, I’m excited by these questions!!

📚 18. a book series you can always escape in

I don’t really read book series anymore, I prefer single stories. However a few I really enjoyed back when I was younger was the Anne of Green Gables series by Lucy Maud Montegomery. As a dreamy, dramatic kid I really identified with Anne (with an E of course) and the fact the story took place in Canada made me feel more connected to my home country, which I really appreciated.

Thinking about it, I should really reread the series again.

📖 23. the book you just finished and what you thought (no spoilers!)

I just finished reading my favorite book again for the millionth time, that book being ‘The Great Gatsby’ by F Scott Fitzgerald. The story always manages to put me in a position of heavy thinking, which I really love. That is to say, I never get bored reading the story because I always end up thinking something different when I finish reading it. I love how short it is, how it stands to explain peoples motivations, how capitalism and wealth impact the position of someone in society and what it means, but most importantly, the impact friendships have and what relationships themselves mean to those who stand to gain, versus those who do not. I can’t say enough good about the book honestly.

🍳 29. a favourite easy recipe: 5 ingredients or less, or takes less than 30 min to make

I’ve wanted to talk about this recipe for such a long time on here haha. I’m really excited to share since I want to say I figured it out on my own and its so easy. Presently, as I live in an apartment, the inner portion of my stove has been out of commission for the last couple months. We can use the top, but inside is a no go. We’ve applied for a new stove but it just hasn’t been brought in, which is likely exacerbated by the pandemic. None the less, I make do with what I have so lots of crock pot and stove top dinners, quick, easy and still delicious.

So you start off with bacon (non-maple) and cook it on the frying pan until its made, and lower the heat to medium so its not spitting. Take some Minute Rice (the instant stuff) and pour it over the bacon (don’t take the oil out or anything just put it all over it, so it covers all the bacon and oil (I’d say a few cup fulls but I’m making food for 4 so I guess it depends on your family size) then while the pan is still hot from cooking bacon, cover the rice with one box of liquid chicken stock (sometimes I add an extra bouillon cube for extra flavor) and the rice will absorb most of the mix. Stir until all the rice is wet, and cover for about five minutes, then add as you’d like (sometimes I add a couple whisked eggs, sometimes I add some peas) and break up the bacon in the pan (you can do that earlier but its not necessary immediately.) It makes a good breakfast, its a good dinner, its good cold or hot. I just love it and my family does too. I hope that answers your questions, and thankyou for asking.

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katianegreyson · 4 years

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It had been almost two weeks since the botched abduction and Kate was getting tired of waiting for the other foot to drop. She had kept herself busy, getting her affairs in order as well as her departed landlord. Death was busy work. Not for the Deceased, but for the ones they left behind. No children, no husband, no siblings…

All she had was her home, her shop, and the loft space above it. Maude had seen to the shop, Kate turning a blind eye to the obviously forged documents, bill of sale, and deed. The agreement being that a portion of the profits from the shop be placed in an account for a year, saved for any distant family that surfaced. Kate's rent would also be deposited into the account. If no one came out of the woodwork, the deed for the loft was ready and waiting for her signature.

Profiting off the dead left a sour taste in her mouth, especially knowing that nothing but proximity to Kate was to blame. Still, she knew not to pity the dead. It was the living who were left to suffer.

Waiting was one method of suffering, however, sleeplessness was, by far, the most cruel. She caught a few naps here and there but only when there was one of Maude's crew in sight. Sleep deprived, irritable, practically paranoid... It was a recipe for a long week.

When the shop finally reopened to the public, Kate let herself doze off, knowing business hours were damn inconvenient for would be kidnappers. Sleep took her quickly, holding her captive for most of the day. It was the smell of smoke that pulled her awake.

It wasn't heavy, like the building was on fire. This was more mild, the acrid smell filling the air but no darkened clouds showing along with it. Bleary eyed, Kate walked the length of her apartment, trying to find the origin.

Opening the door, she stuck her head into the stairwell, finding the air clear. Such was the same when she walked towards the windows. At a loss, she gave up her search and set her mind on a hot shower. Perhaps giving up was just what she needed, the short walk to the bathroom drawing her gaze to her travel pack.

The was a dim glow peeking out of the flap, the sight making Kate's heart drop. Only one thing she packed could illuminate like that…

The journey books she had stowed away. Their twins? She had left them back at a mountain home, hoping against hope that one day someone would return and write in them. She practically tripped over her feet, stumbling ungracefully as she ran over to her bag, upending it quickly to dump out everything in the floor.

Glass vials rolled away, clothes caught oils and more, sopping up anything that spilled accidentally. And then there were the books, most looking singed. Kate was too distracted going after the one with a glowing sigil on the cover to pay much heed to the damaged ones. However, when she flipped open the pages, her face went ashen as she read the letter left for her.

My Dearest Sister in-law,

Happy belated birthday. I hope you enjoyed my gift. I seem to recall you having very strong opinions on the color pink. The contents were personal, I hope. It's always hard to pick out a token that will truly convey the right message. Just in case it fell short, however, I decided to get you another gift. Call me thorough.

This one, I know will hit all the right notes. Interesting fact about these little books you leave, if one is consumed by flames, its twin burns a little as well. They also start wonderful house fires.

I do hope this place meant the world to you. Otherwise, destroying it was simply a guilty pleasure. You took my brother from me. I wonder how long it will take me to hunt down and decimate everything and everyone you love. My next stop is those lovely children that were in the house portraits…

Unless you would like to come and pay for what you've done. I leave at dawn.

-Adam

Kate picked herself off the floor, walking over to her hearth. She didn't need to re-read the entry or dwell on answering. Tossing the book over the glowing coals, she left it to be consumed. Dawn would be here before she knew it and she had a night of travel ahead of her.

#fallen roses #writings

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suchagiantnerd · 4 years

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48 Books, 1 Year

I was just two books shy of my annual goal of 50! You can blame the combination of my adorable newborn, who refused to nap anywhere except on me, and Hallmark Christmas movie season, during which I abandon books for chaste kisses between 30-somethings who behave like tweens at places called the Mistletoe Inn (which are really in Almonte, Ontario).

Without further ado, as Zuma from Paw Patrol says, “Let’s dive in!”

1. Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes / Nathan H. Lents

We have too many bones! We have to rely too much on our diet for survival! We suffer from too many cognitive biases! Reading about our design flaws was kind of interesting, but the best part of this book were the few pages toward the end about the possibility of alien life. Specifically this quote: "...some current estimates predict that the universe harbours around seventy-five million civilizations." WHAT?! This possibility more than anything else I've ever heard or read gives me a better idea of how infinite the universe really is.

2. The Fiery Cross / Diana Gabaldon

Compared to the first four books in the Outlander series, this fifth book is a real snooze. The characters are becoming more and more unlikeable. They're so self-centered and unaware of their privilege in the time and place they're living. Gabaldon's depictions of the Mohawk tribe and other First Nations characters (which I'm reading through her character's opinions of things) are pretty racist. The enslaved people at one character's plantation are also described as being well taken care of and I just.... can't. I think this is the end of my affair with Outlander.

3. Educated / Tara Westover

This memoir was a wild ride. Tara Westover grew up in a survivalist, ultra-religious family in rural Idaho. She didn’t go to school and was often mislead about the outside world by her father. She and her siblings were also routinely put in physical danger working in their father’s junkyard as their lives were “in god’s hands”, and when they were inevitably injured, they weren’t taken to the hospital or a doctor, but left to be treated by their healer mother. Thanks to her sheer intelligence and determination (and some support from her older brother), Tara goes to university and shares with us the culture shock of straddling two very different worlds. My non-fiction book club LOVED this read, we talked about it for a long, long time.

4. Imbolc: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for St. Brigid’s Day / Carl F. Neal

Continuing with my witchy education, I learned all about the first sabbat of the new year, Imbolc.

5. Super Sad True Love Story / Gary Shteyngart

This in-the-very-near-future dystopian novel got my heart racing during a few exciting moments, but overall, I couldn’t immerse myself fully because of the MISOGYNY. I think the author might not like women and the things women like (or the things he thinks they like?) In this near future, all the dudes are into finance or are media celeb wannabes, while all the women work in high-end retail. And onion-skin jeans are the new trend for women - they are essentially see-through. Gary….we don’t…want that? We don’t even want low-rise jeans to come back.

6. The Wanderers / Meg Howrey

Helen, Yoshi and Sergei are the three astronauts selected by a for-profit space exploration company to man the world’s first mission to Mars. But before they get the green light, they have to endure a 17-month simulation. In addition to getting insight into the simulation from all three astronauts via rotating narrators, we also hear from the astronauts’ family members and other employees monitoring the sim. At times tense, at times thoughtful, this book is an incisive read about what makes explorers willing to leave behind everything they love the most in the world.

7. Zone One / Colson Whitehead

The zombie apocalypse has already happened, and Mark is one of the survivors working to secure and clean up Zone One, an area of Manhattan. During his hours and hours of boring shifts populated by a few harrowing minutes here and there, the reader is privy to Mark’s memories of the apocalypse itself and how he eventually wound up on this work crew. Mark is a pretty likeable, yet average guy rather than the standard zombie genre heroes, and as a result, his experiences also feel like a more plausible reality than those of the genre.

8. Homegoing / Yaa Gyasi

One of my favourite reads of the year, this novel is the definition of “sweeping epic”. The story starts off with two half-sisters (who don’t even know about each other’s existence) living in 18th-century Ghana. One sister marries a white man and stays in Ghana, living a life of privilege, while the other is sold into slavery and taken to America on a slave ship. This gigantic split in the family tree kicks off two parallel and vastly different narratives spanning EIGHT generations, ending with two 20-somethings in the present day. I remain in awe of Gyasi’s talent, and was enthralled throughout the entire book.

9. Sweetbitter / Stephanie Danler

Tess moves to New York City right out of school (and seemingly has no ties to her previous life - this bothered me, I wanted to know more about her past) and immediately lands a job at a beloved (though a little tired) fancy restaurant. Seemingly loosely based on Danler’s own experiences as a server, I got a real feel for the insular, incestuous, chaotic life in “the industry”. Tess navigates tensions between the kitchen and the front of house, falls for the resident bad-boy bartender, and positions herself as the mentee of the older and more glamorous head server, who may not be everything she seems. This is a juicy coming-of-age novel.

10. The Autobiography of Gucci Mane / Gucci Mane and Neil Martinez-Belkin

Gucci Mane is one of Atlanta’s hottest musicians, having helped bring trap music to the mainstream. I’d never heard of him until I read this book because I’m white and old! But not knowing him didn’t make this read any less interesting. In between wild facts (if you don’t get your music into the Atlanta strip clubs, your music isn’t making it out of Atlanta) and wilder escapades (Gucci holing himself up in his studio, armed to the teeth, in a fit of paranoia one night) Gucci Mane paints on honest picture of a determined, talented artist fighting to break free of a cycle of systemic racism and poverty.

11. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman’s Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer / Michelle McNamara

McNamara was a journalist and true crime enthusiast who took it upon herself to try and solve the mystery of the Golden State Killer’s identity. Amazingly, her interest in this case also sparked other people’s interest in looking back at it, eventually leading to the arrest of the killer (though tragically, McNamara died a few months before the arrest and would never know how her obsession helped to capture him). This is a modern true crime classic and a riveting read.

12. A Great Reckoning / Louise Penny

The 12th novel in Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series sees our hero starting a new job teaching cadets at Quebec’s police academy. Of course, someone is murdered, and Gamache and his team work to dig the rot out of the institution, uncovering a killer in the process.

13. Any Man / Amber Tamblyn

Yes, this novel is by THAT Amber Tamblyn, star of “The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants”! Anyway, this book is a tad bit darker, and follows five men who’ve been victimized by the female serial rapist, who calls herself Maude. Going into this read I though that it might be some sort of revenge fantasy, but dudes, not to worry - we really feel awful for the male victims and see them in all their complexity. Perhaps, if more men read this book, they might better understand the trauma female and non-binary victims go through? That would require men to read books by women though. Guys? GUYS???

14. Ostara: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for the Spring Equinox / Kerri Connor

Yet another witchy read providing more information about this Spring sabbat.

15. Scarborough / Catherine Hernandez

This novel takes place in OUR Scarborough! Following the lives of a number of residents (adults and children alike), the plot centres around the families attending an Ontario Early Years program as well as the program facilitator. Hernandez looks at the ways poverty, mental illness, addiction, race, and homophobia intersect within this very multicultural neighbourhood. It’s very sad, but there are also many sweet and caring moments between the children and within each of the families.

16. The Glitch / Elisabeth Cohen

Shelley Stone (kind of a fictional Sheryl Sandberg type) is the CEO of Conch, a successful Silicon Valley company. Like many of these over-the-top real-life tech execs, Shelley has a wild schedule full of business meetings, exercise, networking and parenting, leaving her almost no time to rest. While on an overseas business trip, she meets a younger woman also named Shelley Stone, who may or may not be her younger self. Is Shelley losing it? This is a dark comedy poking fun at tech start-up culture and the lie that we can have it all.

17. The Thirteenth Tale / Diane Setterfield

This is my kind of book! A young and inexperienced bookworm is handpicked to write the biography of an aging famous author, Vida Wynter. Summoned to her sprawling country home around Christmastime, the biographer is absolutely enthralled by Vida’s tales of a crumbling gothic estate and an eccentric family left too long to their own whims. Looking for a dark, twisty fairytale? This read’s for you.

18. Love & Misadventure / Lang Leav

Leav’s book of poems looked appealing, but for me, her collection fell short. I felt like I was reading a teenager’s poetry notebook (which I’m not criticizing, I love that teen girls write poetry, and surprise, surprise - so did I - but I’m too old for this kind of writing now).

19. Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows / Balli Kaur Jaswal

Hooo boy, my book club loved this one! Hoping to get a job more aligned with her literary interests, Nikki, the 20-something daughter of Indian immigrants to Britain, takes a job teaching writing at the community centre in London’s biggest Punjabi neighbourhood. The students are all older Punjabi women who don’t have much to do and because of their “widow” status have been somewhat sidelined within their community. Without anyone around to censor or judge them, the widows start sharing their own erotic fantasies with each other, each tale wilder than the last. As Nikki gets to know them better, she gains some direction in life and starts a romance of her own. (It should be noted that in addition to this lovely plot, there is a sub plot revolving around a possible honour killing in the community. For me, the juxtaposition of these two plots was odd, but not odd enough that it ruined the book.)

20. Beltane: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for May Day / Melanie Marquis

Beltane marks the start of the summer season in the witches’ year, and I learned all about how to ring it in, WITCH STYLE.

21. Summer of Salt / Katrina Leno

This book is essentially Practical Magic for teens, with a queer protagonist. All that to say, it’s enjoyable and sweet and a win for #RepresentationMatters, but it wasn’t a surprising or fresh story.

22. Too Like the Lightning / Ada Palmer

This is the first in the Terra Ignota quartet of novels, which is (I think) speculative fiction with maybe a touch of fantasy and a touch of sci-fi and a touch of theology and certainly a lot of philosophical ruminating too. I both really enjoyed it and felt so stupid while reading it. As a lifelong bookworm who doesn’t shy away from difficult reads, I almost never feel stupid while reading, but this book got me. The world building is next level and as soon as you think you’ve found your footing, Palmer pulls the rug out from under you and you’re left both stunned and excited about her latest plot twist. Interested in finding out what a future society grouped into ‘nations’ by interests and passions (instead of geographical borders and ethnicity) might be like? Palmer takes a hearty stab at it here.

23. The Trauma Cleaner: One Woman’s Extraordinary Life in the Business of Death, Decay and Disaster / Sarah Krasnostein

When Sarah Krasnostein met Sandra Pankhurst, she knew she had to write her biography (or something like it - this book is part biography, part love letter, part reckoning). And rightly so, as Sandra has led quite a life. She grew up ostracized within her own home by her immediate family, married and had children very young, came out as a trans woman and begin living as her authentic self (but abandoning her own young family in the process), took to sex work and lived through a vicious assault, married again, and started up her own successful company cleaning uncleanable spaces - the apartments of hoarders, the houses of recluses, the condos in which people ended their own lives. Sandra is the definition of resilience, but all her traumas (both the things people have done to her and the things she’s done to others) have left their mark, as Krasnostein discovers as she delicately probes the recesses of Sandra’s brain.

24. Becoming / Michelle Obama

My favourite things about any memoir from an ultra-famous person are the random facts that surprise you along the way. In this book, it was learning that all American presidents travel with a supply of their blood type in the event of an assassination attempt. I mean OF COURSE they would, but that had never occurred to me. I also appreciated Michelle opening up about her fertility struggles, the difficult decision to put her career on hold to support Barack’s dreams, and the challenge of living in the spotlight with two young children that you hope to keep down to earth. Overall, I think Michelle was as candid as someone in her position can be at this point in her life.

25 and 26. Seven Surrenders, The Will to Battle / Ada Palmer

I decided to challenge myself and stick with Palmer’s challenging Terra Ignota series, also reading the second and third instalments (I think the fourth is due to be released this year). I don’t know what to say, other than the world-building continues to be incredible and this futuristic society is on the bring of something entirely new.

27. Even Vampires Get the Blues / Kate MacAlister

This novel wins for “cheesiest read of the year”. When a gorgeous half-elf detective (you read that right) meets a centuries-old sexy Scottish vampire, sparks fly! Oh yeah, and they’re looking for some ancient thing in between having sex.

28. A Case of Exploding Mangoes / Mohammed Hanif

A piece of historical fiction based on the real-life suspicious plane crash in 1988 that killed many of Pakistan’s top military brass, this novel lays out many possible culprits (including a crow that ate too many mangoes). It’s a dark comedy taking aim at the paranoia of dictators and the boredom and bureaucracy of the military (and Bin Laden makes a cameo at a party).

29. Salvage the Bones / Jesmyn Ward

This novel takes place in the steaming hot days before Hurricane Katrina hits the Mississippi coast. The air is still and stifling and Esch’s life in the small town of Bois Sauvage feels even more stifled. Esch is 14 and pregnant and hasn’t told anyone yet. Her father is a heavy drinker and her three brothers are busy with their own problems. But as the storm approaches, the family circles around each other in preparation for the storm. This is a jarring and moving read made more visceral by the fact that the author herself survived Katrina. It’s also an occasionally violent book, and there are particularly long passages about dog-fighting (a hobby of one of the brothers). The dog lovers in my book club found it hard to get through, consider this your warning!

30. Everything’s Trash, But It’s Okay / Phoebe Robinson

A collection of essays in the new style aka writing multiple pages on a topic as though you were texting your best friend about it (#ImFineWithThisNewStyleByTheWay #Accessible), Robinson discusses love, friendship, being a Black woman in Hollywood, being plus-ish-size in Hollywood, and Julia Roberts teaching her how to swim (and guys, Julia IS as nice in real life as we’d all hoped she was!) Who is Robinson? Comedy fans will likely know her already, but I only knew her as one of the stars of the Netflix film Ibiza (which I enjoyed). This is a fun, easy read!

31. Midsummer: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for Litha / Deborah Blake

After reading this book, I charged my crystals under the midsummer sun!

32. Fingersmith / Sarah Waters

So many twists! So many turns! So many hidden motives and long-held secrets! Think Oliver Twist meets Parasite meets Lost! (Full disclosure, I haven’t seen Parasite yet, I’m just going off all the chatter about it). Sue is a con artist orphan in old-timey London. When the mysterious “Gentleman” arrives at her makeshift family’s flat with a proposal for the con of all cons, Sue is quickly thrust into a role as the servant for another young woman, Maud, living alone with her eccentric uncle in a country estate. As Sue settles into her act, the lines between what she’s pretending at and what she’s really feeling start to blur, and nothing is quite what it seems. This book is JUICY!

33. Rest Play Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (Or Anyone Who Acts Like One) / Deborah MacNamara, PhD

I read approximately one parenting book a year, and this was this year’s winner. As my eldest approached her third birthday, we started seeing bigger and bigger emotions and I wasn’t sure how to handle them respectfully and gently. This book gave me a general roadmap for acknowledging her feelings, sitting through them with her, and the concept of “collecting” your child to prevent tantrums from happening or to help calm them down afterward. I’ll be using this approach for the next few years!

34. Lughnasadh: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for Lammas / Melanie Marquis

And with this read, I’ve now read about the entire witch’s year. SO MOTE IT BE.

35. In Cold Blood / Truman Capote

How had I not read this until now? This true-crime account that kicked off the modern genre was rich in detail, compassionate to the victims, and dug deep into the psyche of the killers. The descriptions of the midwest countryside and the changing seasons also reminded me of Keith Morrison’s voiceovers on Dateline. Is Capote his inspiration?

36. I’m Afraid of Men / Vivek Shraya

A quick, short set of musings from trans musician and writer Shraya still packs an emotional punch. She writes about love and loss, toxic masculinity, breaking free of gender norms, and what it’s like to exist as a trans woman.

37. The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You / Elaine N. Aron, PhD

Having long thought I might be a highly sensitive person (lots of us are!), I decided to learn more about how to better cope with stressful situations when I don’t have enough alone time or when things are too loud or when I get rattled by having too much to do any of the other myriad things that shift me into panic mode. Though some of the advice is a bit too new-agey for me (talking to your inner child, etc), some of it was practical and useful.

38. Swamplandia! / Karen Russell

The family-run alligator wrestling theme park, Swamplandia, is swimming in debt and about to close. The widowed father leaves the everglades for the mainland in a last-ditch attempt to drum up some money, leaving the three children to fend for themselves. A dark coming-of-age tale that blends magic realism, a ghost story, the absurd and a dangerous boat trip to the centre of the swamplands, this novel examines a fractured family mourning its matriarch in different ways.

39. A Mind Spread Out on the Ground / Alicia Elliott

This is a beautiful collection of personal essays brimming with vulnerability, passion, and fury. Elliott, the daughter of a Haudenosaunee father and a white mother, shares her experiences growing up poor in a family struggling with mental illness, addiction and racism. Topics touch on food scarcity, a never-ending battle with lice, parenthood and the importance of hearing from traditionally marginalized voices in literature.

40. Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay / Elena Ferrante

The third novel in Ferrante’s Neapolitan quartet sees Elena and Lila move from their early twenties into their thirties and deal with a riot of issues - growing careers, changing political beliefs, the challenges of motherhood and romantic relationships, and existing as strong-willed, intelligent women in 1960s and 70s Italy. I’ll definitely finish the series soon.

41. Half-Blood Blues / Esi Edugyan

A small group of American and German jazz musicians working on a record find themselves holed up in Paris as the Germans begin their occupation in WW2. Hiero, the youngest and most talented member of the group, goes out one morning for milk and is arrested by the Germans, never to be heard from again. Fifty years later, the surviving members of the band go to Berlin for the opening night of a documentary about the jazz scene from that era, and soon find themselves on a road trip through the European countryside to find out what really became of Hiero all those years ago. Edugyan’s novel is a piercing examination of jealousy, ambition, friendship, race and guilt. And features a cameo by Louis Armstrong!

42. A Serial Killer’s Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love and Overcoming / Kerri Rawson

So Brad and I had just finished watching season 2 of Mindhunter, and as I browse through a neighbourhood little library, I spot this book and the serial killer in question is the BTK Killer! Naturally, I had to read it. What I didn’t realize is that this is actually a Christian book, so Rawson does write a lot about struggling with her belief in God and finding her way back to Him, etc. But there are also chapters more fitting with the true crime and memoir genres that I equally enjoyed and was creeped out by.

43. The Night Ocean / Paul La Farge

This is another book that made me feel somewhat stupid as a reader. I just know there are details or tidbits that completely went over my head that would likely enrich a better reader’s experience. In broad strokes, the novel is about a failed marriage between a psychiatrist and a writer who became dangerously obsessed with H.P. Lovecraft and the rumours that swirled around him and his social circle. The writer’s obsession takes him away from his marriage and everything else, and eventually it looks like he ends his own life. The psychiatrist is doubtful (no body was found) and she starts to follow him down the same rabbit hole. At times tense, at times funny, at times sad, I enjoyed the supposed world of Lovecraft and his fans and peers, but again, I’m sure there are deeper musings here that I couldn’t reach.

44. Glass Houses / Louise Penny

The 13th novel in Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series sees our hero taking big risks to fight the opioid crisis in Quebec. He and his team focus on catching the big crime boss smuggling drugs across the border from Vermont, endangering his beloved town of Three Pines in the process.

45. The Bone Houses / Emily Lloyd-Jones

My Halloween read for the year, this dark fairytale of a YA novel was perfect for the season. Since her parents died, Ryn has taken over the family business - grave digging - to support herself and her siblings. As the gravedigger, she knows better than most that due to an old curse, the dead in the forest surrounding her village don’t always stay dead. But as more of the forest dead start appearing (and acting more violently than usual), Ryn and an unexpected companion (yes, a charming young man cause there’s got to be a romance!) travel to the heart of the forest to put a stop to the curse once and for all.

46. The Witches Are Coming / Lindy West

Another blazing hot set of essays from my favourite funny feminist take on Trump, abortion rights, #MeToo, and more importantly Adam Sandler and Dateline. As always, Lindy, please be my best friend?

47. Know My Name / Chanel Miller

This memoir is HEAVY but so, so needed. Recently, Chanel Miller decided to come forward publicly and share that she was the victim of Brock Turner’s sexual assault. She got the courage to do so after she posted her blistering and beautiful victim impact statement on social media and it went viral. Miller’s memoir is a must-read, highlighting the incredible and awful lengths victims have to go to to see any modicum of justice brought against their attackers. Miller dealt with professional ineptitude from police and legal professionals, victim-blaming, victim-shaming, depression and anxiety, the inability to hold down a job, and still managed to come out the other side of this trial intact. And in the midst of all the horror, she writes beautifully about her support system - her family, boyfriend and friends - and about the millions of strangers around the world who saw themselves in her experience.

48. Christmas Ghost Stories: A Collection of Winter Tales / Mark Onspaugh

Ghosts AND Christmas? Yes please! This quirky collection features a wide array of festively spooky tales. You want the ghost of Anne Boleyn trapped in a Christmas ornament? You got it! What about the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future drinking together in a bar? Yup, that’s here too!

So, what were my top picks of the year, the books that stuck with me the most? In no particular order:

Educated

Homegoing

The Wanderers

Know My Name

Scarborough

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aph-madeline-au · 5 years

Text

“What a waste,” Bunty muttered, shaking her head as she looked through her cards. “And after I went through all that trouble to get that chicken. And I plucked it myself, too!”

She gave a gusty, heartfelt sigh, and Erminhilt was very nearly tempted to let her win this round, just to make her feel better. Still, no doubt Bunty would take such pity as a personal insult against her card-playing abilities, so she didn’t. However, she did share a commiserating glance with her Italian colleague before they both turned their gazes to the stares, up which Erminhilt had sent the girls not an hour ago, Felisa still sobbing onto an exasperated Livinia’s shoulder.

“I mean, what did she think we had the chicken for?” Bunty went on, frowning at her cards. “A pet?”

��Knowing Feli, that’s exactly what she thought,” murmured Erminhilt. “Any fives?”

“Go fish,” replied Bunty moodily, “I mean, I was rather hoping that Livinia would set her straight, or at least that she wouldn’t go along with Feli’s nonsense.”

Erminhilt smiled slightly. “Well, Felisa was very upset. Much more upset than Livinia expected, I think. You can hardly blame her.”

“No,” said Bunty, “But it’s such a waste of perfectly good food. Aces?”

Erminhilt shook her head, and Bunty retrieved her card from the pile. Upstairs, all was silent and as it should be, despite the ruckus that had occurred over dinner earlier on. Granted, Erminhilt had expected some kind of upset from the moment Bunty had brought back a live chicken and let the girls – in particular Felisa – see it, but she hadn’t foreseen quite that level of meltdown. She could still hear Felisa’s wails of grief for ‘Luigi’ echoing around the dining room. Her proposal that they all convert to vegetarianism was perhaps understandable, if a touch melodramatic.

Livinia had tried to calm her sister, of course, in her usual gruff and heavy-handed manner, but once confronted with the full force of just how stricken Felisa was, she’d relented and agreed to join her in giving up meat. And of course, Amelia had been ready to agree (she was always up for joining all of the latest causes and societies), and Maud was dragged in as usual. Then Luitgard had agreed, if only to cheer up Felisa, and had strong-armed Gertraud into it also. The other girls had been less keen – Kuniko, Mathilde, Eha and Suyumbike had gone along with it, but Erminhilt had definitely seen all of them sneaking mouthfuls of chicken when Felisa wasn’t watching. Alice and Irina had both refused, Alice because she was contrary and Irina because she wanted to get on Amelia’s nerves.

“Tens,” she asked distractedly, when Bunty cleared her throat impatiently. Bunty huffed, and handed a pair over. With a hum of satisfaction, Erminhilt laid down her third set.

“Even when you aren’t paying attention you’re better than I am,” she grumbled, before glancing up at the ceiling. “All quiet. You know, I was sure the little blighters would be down here after five minutes after some more food. Threes.”

“Just the one,” yawned Erminhilt, handing it over, careful to keep the card up her sleeve well hidden. It was probably blasphemy or something, to hide a card up her nun’s uniform, but then again, Bunty’s expression of baffled confusion when she inevitably lost was worth it.

So focused was Erminhilt on the card game that she didn’t even spot several small figures darting past the open dining room doors.

“I can’t believe we made it!” hissed Suyumbike gleefully, beckoning the other girls forward. “Thank goodness for Go Fish, eh?”

Felisa gave her a watery smile, still clutching Luitgard’s hand. Livinia cast her a bitter look, and stormed off ahead. Alice rolled her eyes. This was all ridiculous, but she didn’t bother saying so – she’d already said it, after all, several times, and it hadn’t done any good then and she didn’t think it would do any good now. Besides, she enjoyed a good caper every now and again.

As soon as they’d reached the relative safety of the kitchen, the girls split up. Alice, who hadn’t got to eat as much dinner as she’d have liked, even if she had refused to give up meat, headed straight for the biscuit cupboard, but alas, it was empty. Perhaps Bunty had needed the sugar ration for something else this week.

Still, there was always bread. Boring, perhaps, but Alice was hungry.

“Hey, guys!” Suyumbike called suddenly.

Alice turned, and was immediately struck with the urge to roll her eyes. Suyumbike had climbed onto the table, and was mucking about with a bra that Bunty had obviously hung up to dry. Naturally Gertraud, Mathilde and Amelia thought it was hilarious – because they were morons with the mental capacity of cabbages. Even Maud and Felisa giggled, and Eha grinned. Livinia and Luitgard, because Alice would grudgingly admit that they had some taste, just rolled their eyes.

“We could bake something!” piped up Irina from where she’d been peeking into some of the books on Bunty’s shelves, “I’ve found a recipe!”

There were gasps of delight – even Alice found herself smiling, and had to force herself to stop, in case Amelia saw and told everyone. Maud scurried over to the cupboard and after a fearful glance towards the door to check for Bunty and Frau Vogel, pulled out a box.

“Flour!” she called. Well, Maud’s version of a call, anyway. More like normal speech volume for any other person. Whispering volume for Amelia. Meanwhile, Eha had thrown open the doors to the larder, ignoring Luitgard’s frantic calls for order. Mathilde clumsily climbed onto the table with Suyumbike and – with a cry of delight – managed to find another bra. Alice watched them dancing about for a minute, unsure of whether this was funny or pathetic. She was leaning more towards the latter, to be honest, but that could just be her.

“Oh, hey, a box!” Eha stepped out of the cupboard with a box, before prising it open. Immediately, a horrendous smell began spreading into the room. Alice gagged, her hands shooting up to cover her nose in horror.

“Bunty-sensei’s cheese!” wheezed Kuniko, who didn’t like cheese at the best of times.

“Gorgonzola!” agreed Livinia, from where she and Felisa had been stood in the corner, apparently having another argument judging by the pout on Felisa’s face and the scowl on Livinia’s. “Close the box, Eha!”

Eha did so, looking moments from keeling over, and hurried back to the cupboard, past Gertraud who was making fake retching noises and Luitgard, who was rubbing her temples like Frau Vogel did when she was stressed.

BANG BANG BANG!

Alice jumped out of her skin – an air raid? She hadn’t heard a siren – and whirled around to look out of the window, just in time to hear the Vargas twins give piercing screams. In the window were two devils, fearsome and red-faced and wearing billowing black capes that faded into the darkness outside, banging and clawing at the glass. Gertraud bellowed something in German and leapt towards an alarmed Luitgard and dragged her backwards. An almighty crash sounded from the larder and Eha sprang backwards into Irina. Mathilde yelled and staggered backwards, grabbing at Suyumbike’s arm and dragging them both down off the table, still wearing bras, and right on top of Kuniko. Amelia screamed also, almost matching Livinia and Felisa for volume, and launched herself at Maud, who had jumped so badly she threw the box of flour. As Alice watched, frozen, the cloud of flour coated Maud and Amelia, whilst a finer dust settled slowly on everyone else in the room.

The devils continued to wail and bang on the window, and then – one of their cloaks slipped. It was just for a second, but it flapped open to reveal a rather pretty periwinkle dress. A periwinkle dress that Alice recognised.

With a snarl, she leapt forward, causing the devils to scarper. She scrabbled at the window, throwing it open, and yelled:

“I KNOW IT’S YOU, FROG! GO AWAY AND DON’T COME BACK!” she paused to sneeze, which probably didn’t do much for her threatening image, before continuing, “AND IF YOU DO COME BACK, I’LL-”

“You’ll what, Alice Kirkland?”

Alice cringed, closed the window, brushed off her dress, and finally turned around. Frau Vogel was stood over her, her habit somewhat askew and her hands on her hips, looking distinctly unimpressed. Alice swallowed. She was already in disgrace for yelling when Lord Cuckoo-Face had arrived earlier, and Frau Vogel was already irritated because of both that and the little display at dinner the night before.

“They scared the others,” Alice said weakly, “I was just making them go away.”

Frau Vogel turned to look at the others. Amelia was still clutching Maud, breathing hard, her glasses wonky on her face, and Gertraud was still stood in front of Luitgard, her arms slightly spread and her face even paler than usual. Livinia and Felisa, still sniffling slightly, were clinging to Abundantia as she checked over Kuniko, Mathilde, Suyumbike, Irina and Eha for any injuries.

“Anything serious?” asked Frau Vogel. Abundantia shook her head with a laugh.

“A few cuts and bruises, on trodden-on toe for Irina, a slightly squashed Kuniko, and Eha was hit on the head with a tin of spam,” she answered, “I think they’ll live.”

Frau Vogel nodded, and turned back to Alice, frowning severely. However, before she could so much as open her mouth, Amelia spoke up, her voice a little higher than usual.

“She’s telling the truth!” she said breathlessly, “Alice scared them off – we were all too scared.”

Warmth blossomed in Alice’s chest, and she looked past Frau Vogel to give Amelia a small smile. Frau Vogel began to speak, paused, tried again, and then gave a deep sigh and rubbed her face tiredly. When Alice dared to look up, however, she wasn’t angry anymore – she was smiling.

“Bunty,” she said, “I suppose we’d better get these young ladies something to eat, if that’s okay with you. I don’t think they’ll be sleeping anytime soon.”

“On it.”

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stanchap2000-blog · 4 years

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Everyone Should Write a Novel

If I can write a novel and get it published, then anyone can.

I’m just a former teacher who got frustrated by the number of students on drugs (street drugs and, worse yet, prescription drugs “for hyperactive students”) and so I became a writer.

I never played sports in high school (never got that letterman’s jacket that would make girls love me), never constructed a birdhouse with my own bare hands, never shot a round of golf under 90, and whenever I played softball with the guys from my church, I’d end up with either a dislocated finger or a bruise on my face (sometimes I’d yell, “Don’t throw me the ball!” and save myself another moment of embarrassment).

Admittedly, I’ve come to realize that being unpopular in high school is not an adequate justification for becoming a writer.

Since escaping from the classroom, I have gotten a bit better at doing things. I supported myself by writing dozens of courses for businesses, mostly in the field of telecommunications, and I have three published novels. Not bad for an empty-headed guy. I wish my high school friends could see me now (I had two of them).

What I am attempting to do in this course is pass along some of the love that I have for the writing process. And I want to tell you a bit about the techniques and the art of writing a novel and why I think you should give this preposterous thing it a try.

I agree with Oscar Wilde: “I love writing. It is so much more real than life.”

Alone, with Only Your Imagination

If you write a news article, you present a headline, byline, lead, and story. But before you do this, you burn the hours conducting adequate research and finding reliable sources to give some credence to the facts you plan to include in your story. In writing the article, you are guided, hopefully, by information that you have uncovered and verified.

As a novelist, however, you are working with no concrete information and the major source for writing the novel is your mind.

If you write a non-fiction book, such as a cookbook of your favorite recipes or a biography of your favorite president, you choose the subject of the book, you decide on the specific viewpoint, you outline the book and plunge into the research, you come up with a clever title,

and you write the wonderful book. Note that your book is based on facts and hopefully your writing is guided by these facts.

As a novelist, however, you rely heavily on your imagination and not on any tangible facts … or even on “reality.”

If you write a memoir, you determine which time of your life you want to write about, you determine the major events that happened during this time, and then you write the memoir. You may spice it up a bit, but you are working from your experiences and that guides you.

As a novelist, however, you are working with a blank canvas.

Why am I being so redundant? It is because I want to underscore that the writing of a novel is scary business. You are literally stepping into a void. I am certain that you’ve heard of writer’s block. Well, it’s simply the result of facing that void and coming up with nothing.

I’ve been there a few times and, boy, is it the bottom of a pit … with snakes!

Yet, herein lies the reason that you should write a novel: It is one of the highest levels of pure creativity that exists!

Sidney Sheldon: “A blank piece of paper is God’s way of telling us how hard it is to be God.”

From this nothing, from this blank piece of paper, can arise a magnificent story, a fascinating view of an author’s view of the world, an emotional experience for others to enjoy and learn from, and (to paraphrase poet John Keats), a truth that is beauty and a beauty that is truth.

Each hour that you work on your novel, you are encountering an existential experience, which is to say you are dealing with existence, specifically human existence. You are faced with “to be” (words go onto the page) or “not to be” (you come up with nothing). This is the essence of life. You are creating. And in this process lies a secret that is rarely explained or emphasized:

There is immense pleasure in the act of creating!

Yes, there is immeasurable pleasure to be had and it costs nothing but a bit of your time. Indulge in it. Make it part of your life, part of your joy of living!

That is why I think everyone should write a novel.

A novelist facing a blank page, an artist facing a blank canvas, a composer facing a sheet of notation paper – there are only a few of such fortunate individuals – and they are the few who experience the immense pleasure of creating. Join them! And bring more happiness into your own life.

It works for me. What I like best about writing novels, or even this course of study, is that it gives my life a slightly higher purpose. I can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning and attempt to write something that will help people – give them some insights into life, give them entertainment, or to give them a bit of knowledge about the writing process. That enlivens me!

Richard Krzemien: “It’s tougher than Himalayan yak jerky in January. But, as any creative person will tell you, there are days when there’s absolutely nothing sweeter than creating something from nothing.”

Oscar Wilde: “I love to talk about nothing … it is the only thing I know anything about.”

The act of writing, of creating, is purpose, and that stabilizes a person and helps to keep his or her attention off the zillions of problems that accrue to modern life.

Writing a novel will give you a purpose that will overshadow most of the daily calamities, anguishes, and distresses that are part of life.

John Gardner: “Out of the artist’s imagination, as out of nature’s inexhaustible well, pours one thing after another. The artist composes, writes, or paints just as he dreams, seizing whatever swims close to the net. This shimmering mess of loves and hates – fishing trips taken long ago with Uncle Ralph, a 1940 green Chevrolet, a war, a vague sense of what makes a novel, a symphony, a photograph – this is the day the artist must shape into an object worthy of our attention; that is, our tears, our laughter, our thought.”

Grandma’s Story

My grandmother, Maude Van Order, had eight children and ran a large farm that employed seventeen farmhands. This was in Webberville, Michigan. She got up each morning at 4:30 a.m. and cooked breakfast for her children and the farm workers. Her husband, Benjamin Van Order, ran the local general store, so he ate with this group and then was off to the store.

Grandma stayed home and, after getting the children off to school, managed the farm. She made lunch for herself and the seventeen farmhands. She made dinner for her husband, her eight children, and the farmhands. She washed clothes, ironed clothes, mended clothes when necessary, cleaned house, etc.

She was finished with her workday at about 11 p.m. each night.

Then, each night, she wrote poetry for 2 to 3 hours. This was her “personal time” and she never failed to claim it!

How did grandma manage such a lifestyle?

She found immense pleasure in the act of creating!

Yes, she worked to support her husband and her eight children. Yes, she managed a large farm. But, as she tells it, she mostly lived for the immense pleasure of creating poetry. It kept her alive and doing well – in what most people would think of as a grueling life.

H.P. Lovecraft: “At night, when the objective world has slunk back into its cavern and left dreamers to their own, there come inspirations and capabilities impossible at any less magical and quiet hours. No one knows whether or not he is a writer unless he has tried writing at night.”

Click on the link below to receive 16 FREE lessons on writing a novel.

https://forms.aweber.com/form/31/783250631.htm

My best to you,

Stanley Chapman, M.A., Teacher, Writer, Entrepreneur

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