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drivinmeinsane · 8 months

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Hi! Just super curious about what are your top three favorite Ryan Gosling movies and why?

Firstly, thank you for the question!!! You had me fighting for my life trying to decide, but I think I've narrowed it down to these three in order of favoritism based on what I have watched. There's still a (very) small handful of movies with Ryan Gosling that I haven't seen.

When it comes to picking a favorite movie, the characters and the themes/overarching motifs are what speak to me. So these picks are based on vibes, not anything technical... if that makes any sense?

1. Drive

This is my favorite movie even outside of the Ryan Gosling qualifier. I was hooked from the minute I heard Driver's opening dialogue. Driver's swinging between violence and tenderness? The futile destruction of everything to keep a found family dynamic intact because he needs it so badly? The intensity of Driver himself? The way he's largely silent, but there's so much to be read in the absence of words? I'm feral for it all.

The threads from some scenes connecting to others in unexpected ways was phenomenal (the no good sharks scene tying into the car chase with Nino gets me every time). I loved the setting, the characters, the lighting, the soundtrack... just all of it. 10/10. I could write entire essays on this movie.

2. Blade Runner 2049

I found the character of K to be so compelling. His devastating exploration of what it means to be a human being, to be important in a way that he feels matters... it's heartbreaking. I was also drawn to the relationship he had with Joi. It was a bittersweet insight to K's mind and his desire to be wanted, loved.

It's a movie that has stuck with me ever since I first watched it. There's numerous scenes and lines that have taken up residency in my thoughts. The performance that Gosling gave was truly incredible. He breathed so much life into a character that, by all rights, should have been a soulless, stoic machine. As with Drive, I could go on and on about this movie.

3. The Gray Man

This is a movie I don't mind watching again and again (It's turned into a bit of a comfort movie, I'm afraid). I absolutely loved the character of Courtland Gentry/Sierra Six. He stands out in a sea of misogynistic, arrogant "macho men" that tend to populate movies of this genre. He's resilient, he's personable, and, most importantly, he's kind. Despite his line of work, there's this massive capacity for care that we see throughout the movie. It doesn't make his life any easier (we see it negatively affect him time and time again), but he doesn't lose that aspect of himself regardless of the outcome. That's the kind of thing that makes me root for a character and actually get invested in their story.

I also really enjoyed his dynamic with Claire and Fitzroy. I'm always a sucker for found family and grouchy, fictional men metaphorically adopting kids.

It was so difficult not to put Barbie or Stay on this list.

I adore the Barbie movie so much, but it didn't feel right to put it on a Gosling-centric list because it's at least as much a Margot Robbie movie as it's a Ryan Gosling movie. Ken is such a great character and I think Gosling went above and beyond and put his whole heart into the performance. It's a ten in my books for sure, so just because it's not one of these three, that doesn't mean I forgot about it or didn't like it!

Stay very nearly unseated The Gray Man for the third position. I love the character of Henry Letham. I also love dang near everything about the movie. It's just a hard watch for me, too personal in a way that makes it difficult to have the same rewatchability as its competitor.

#ryan gosling #drive 2011 #blade runner 2049 #the gray man #yikes #I didn't mean for this to be such a long response #i got carried away 😔#🐝#from you

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californiahq-archived · 9 months

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Hello! I am very interested in joining, but would like to know if there are any faceclaims you all would really like to see join the rp? There are just so many great faces that I wanted to ask before sending in an application. Thank you!

hi, thank you for your interest! here are some fcs that came to mind! mason gooding, harris dickinson, pedro pascal, oscar isaac, manny montana, rudy pankow, jonathan daviss, andrew garfield, lorenzo zurzolo, arón piper, manny jacinto, evan mock, aaron tveit, thomas doherty, archie renaux, brenton thwaites, casey deidrick, avan jogia, maxence danet fauvel, logan lerman, keith powers, raymond ablack, rahul kohli, andy samberg, joseph quinn, xolo maridueña, tanner buchanan, clayton cardenas, mario casas, bill skarsgard, zethpan smith gneist, bradley cooper, joseph morgan, alberto rosende, emilio sakraya, tom holland, manu rios, luke grimes, kedar williams stirling, regé jean page, andré lamoglia, henry zaga, chay suede, elias kacavas, josh heuston, nico tortorella, felix mallard, jamie dornan, chris wood, justice smith, luka sabbat, alex fitzalan, jeff satur, herman tømmeraas, carloto cotta, ander puig, froy gutierrez, charles michael davis, george sear, darren barnet, jon bernthal, ben barnes, anthony ramos, corey mylchreest, anthony keyvan, sinqua walls, cody christian, eddie redmayne, jaehyun, hugh dancy, michael evans behling, elliot fletcher, emre bey, joe keery, chance perdomo, ross lynch, gavin leatherwood, richard madden, alex aiono, shiloh fernandez, chris evans, chris wood, jacob elordi, danny ramirez, drew starkey, havana rose liu, davika hoorne, lalisa, lulu antariksa, christina hendricks, zion moreno, jennie kim, danielle rose russell, kaylee bryant, anya chalotra, simone ashley, charithra chandran, maia mitchell, cierra ramirez, melissa barrera, hailee steinfeld, diane guerrero, stephanie beatriz, melissa fumero, greta onieogou, maia reficco, alisha boe, paris berelc, camila mendes, bruna marquezine, camila queiroz, anne hathaway, lauren tsai, rachel hilson, inbar lavi, lesley ann brandt, giorgia whigham, antonia gentry, katie douglas, melisa asli pamuk, margot robbie, jenna coleman, halston sage, chelsea clark, brianne howey, cindy kimberly, chloe bennet, halle bailey, sara waisglass, jessica alexander, christian serratos, phoebe tonkin, claire holt, isabella gomez, courtney eaton, madelyn cline, madison bailey, abigail cowen, jessie mei li, blu hunt, auli’i cravalho, anya taylor joy, annie murphy, mila kunis, simary barlas, mimi keene, aimee lou wood, emma mackey, samantha logan, natalia dyer, megan suri, maya hawke, coco jones, jasmine tookes, ana de armas, chase sui wonders, priscilla quintana, maris rascal, keke palmer, angelique boyer, rachel sennott, benedetta porcaroli, valentina zenere, ludovica martino, joey king, fivel stewart, adeline rudolph, natasha liu bordizzo – hope these help!

#appless rp #city rp #oc rp #town rp #mumu rp #new rp #mw

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lovecharged · 10 months

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not me fc shipping but i am in need of... (bolded is my preference)

camila morrone x sam claflin

lily collins x sam claflin

riley keough x sam claflin

zendaya x tom holland

mimi keene x asa butterfield

emily blunt x john krasinski

jack wolfe x kit young

odeya rush x fivel stewart

cillian murphy x annabelle wallis

maude apatow x zendaya

jonathan bailey x matt bomer

jonathan bailey x simone ashley

andrew scott x phoebe waller-bridge

will harrison x suki waterhouse

michael cimino x george sear

michael b jordan x tessa thompson

michael evans behling x greta onieogou

sophie thatcher x courtney eaton

sophie nelisse x ella purnell

felix mallard x antonia gentry

felix mallard x katie douglas

corey mylchreest x india amarteifio

jack quaid x melissa barrera

david corenswet x mia goth

calahan skogman x danielle galligan

zane phillips x froy gutierrez

zane phillips x ben levin

rish shah x camila mendes

taylor zakhar perez x nicholas galitzine

ray nicholson x olivia scott welch

leo suter x frida gustavsson

rafael silva x ronen rubinstein

ben hardy x sydney sweeney

phoebe tonkin x margot robbie

paul mescal x daisy edgar jones

danny griffin x abigail cowen

chris evans x ana de armas

#indie rp #ooc: posts.

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julybloom · 6 months

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like this to plot with any of these muses or faceclaims i really want to add because i'd love some more plots <3 aaron (taylor zahkar perez), dawson (corey mylchreest), peyton (grace van patten), dominic (drew starkey), kieran (jonathan daviss), natalie (isabel may), elizabeth (meghann fahy), olivia (samantha logan), cassie (sofia carson), caleb (ben barnes), tanner (felix mallard), benson (rohan campbell), lainey (abigail cowen), beau (tom blyth), madison (halston sage), katie (olivia holt), kylee (rachel zegler), andrew (josh hutcherson) claudia (laura harrier), taylor (dylan o'brien), hailey (madison iseman), carson (christopher briney), matthew (raymond ablack), joshua (mason gooding), noah (theo james), luke (nicholas galitzine), max (rudy pankow), sasha (maia reffico), lauren (alycia debnam-carey) muses i wanna add: josephine langford, joe keery, adelaide kane, antonia gentry, lorenzo zurzolo, thomas weatherall, alexandra breckenridge. margot robbie, simone ashley, lola tung, sean kaufman, rain spencer.

#indie bi rp #indie rp #indie crime rp

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nepofm · 9 months

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+𝟏 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐃 . paige yoon ( jeon somi ) is looking for a familial connection .

familial. — paige yoon is looking for an cousin ( who is also her best friend. born to paige’s favorite aunt(who i picture to look like margot robbie in case u were curious) on her (fake) mom’s side , paige and her cousin grew up together during summers in france. they were girls together. the best of friends. partner in crimes. to say they were just cousins is too simple, too vague, almost boring. personality can depend on your preferences, but note that paige is kinda chaotic af, so they have to be able to handle that part of her!! paige would kill for her. they would kill for paige. we can talk more in the dms!! ) and within the age range of 22+ that preferably looks like !!!!RENEE RAPP!!!!, margaret qualley, ayumi roux, samara weaving, auli'i cravalho, phoebe dynevor, ashley moore, maddison brown, sarah jeffery, myra molloy, josefine frida pettersen, mimi keene, kennedy walsh, !!!ANTONIA GENTRY!!!, suki waterhouse, paris berelc, any female / female presenting fc is fine, but they must be at least half white . you do have to contact the mun before applying under the dearpaige.

#appless rp #oc rp #rich kids rp #oc rpg #city rp #gossip girl rp #wc.

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come-along-pond · 2 years

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☆ RANDOM FANDOM OCs ☆

NETFLIX

⇨ Ainsley Garner {YOU}

face claim: Willa Holland

nickname/s: Ains

allegiance/s: N/A

love interest: N/A

fic title: N/A

tags:

ainsley garner: you oc

⇨ Angela Baker {The Gray Man}

face claim: Emilia Clarke

nickname/s: Angie

allegiance/s: MI5 (Previously), The Fitzroy family

love interest: Sierra Six (Courtland Gentry)

fic title: N/A

tags:

angela baker: the gray man oc angie x six

⇨ Christina King {Midnight Mass}

face claim: Elizabeth Lail

nickname/s: Chris

allegiance/s: N/A

love interest: Shabazz Hassan + John Pruitt

fic title: N/A

tags:

christina king: midnight mass oc christina x shabazz christina x john

⇨ Julia Morningstar {Lucifer}

face claim: Kate Winslet

nickname/s: Jules

allegiance/s: Lucifer

love interest: Lucifer Morningstar

fic title: N/A

tags:

julia morningstar: lucifer oc julia x lucifer

⇨ Sophie Rival {Riverdale}

face claim: Aimee Lou Wood

alias/es: N/A

nickname/s: Soph

love interest: Jughead Jones

fic title: N/A

tags:

sophie rival: riverdale oc sophie x jughead

OTHERS

⇨ Amelia Rowe {Criminal Minds}

face claim: Amanda Seyfried

nickname/s: Amy, Pretty Girl

allegiance/s: The BAU, The FBI

love interest: Spencer Reid

fic title: N/A

tags:

amelia rowe: criminal minds oc amelia x spencer

⇨ Hazel Conner {White Collar}

face claim: N/A

alias/es: Helen Carbon, Hazel Copper, Jennifer Holden

nickname/s: H

allegiance/s: N/A

love interest: Neal Caffery

fic title: N/A

tags:

hazel conner: white collar oc hazel x neal

⇨ Hazel Sheridan {Mamma Mia}

face claim: Margot Robbie

alias/es: N/A

nickname/s: N/A

allegiance/s: N/A

love interest: Many undecided ocs

fic title: N/A

tags:

hazel sheridan: mamma mia oc

⇨ Rapunzel {Once Upon A Time}

face claim: Taylor Swift

alias/es: Hope Regal,The Forest’s Hope

nickname/s: Rap

allegiance/s: Snow White

love interest: Jefferson / The Mad Hatter

fic title: Everything Has Changed

tags:

hope regal/rapunzel: ouat oc hope/jefferson rapunzel/jefferson rapunzel & grace

⇨ Viviana {Good Omens}

face claim: Karen Gillan

alias/es: Viviana Blossom

nickname/s: Viv, Anna

love interest: N/A

fic title: Life Itself

tags:

viviana: good omens oc

COMEDIES

⇨ Elizabeth Anderson {Friday Night Dinner}

face claim: Florence Pugh

nickname/s: Lizzie

love interest: Jonny Goodman

fic title: Saturday Mornings

tags:

lizzie anderson: friday night dinner oc lizzie x jonny

⇨ Taylor Green {Brooklyn Nine-Nine}

face claim: Sophie Turner

alias/es: N/A

nickname/s: Tay Tay

allegiance/s: The nine-nine

love interest: Jake Peralta

fic title: My Life Would Suck

tags:

taylor green: brooklyn nine-nine oc taylor x jake

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santosca · 1 month

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Mw faces?

soo many ! tati gabrielle, madelyn cline, samantha logan, pedro pascal, idris elba, adelaide kane, viola davis, manny montanna, greta onieogou, jesse williams, brianne howey, danielle rose russell, davika hoorne, jennie kim, bill skarsgard, hunter schafer, kaylee bryant, carlson young, rudy pankow, simay barlas, hande ercel, chase stokes, camila mendes, charles melton, deepika padukone, christian serratos, steven yeun, raymond ablack, jason momoa, antonia gentry, paul wesley, daniel sharman, joseph morgan, jenny boyd, ryan destiny, phoebe tonkin, && margot robbie. i could go on for days, so if you need any more feel free to send another ask !

#new rp #appless rp #mature rp #crime rp #mw.#answered.

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anyaglamgifs · 2 months

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WIP

Adam Driver

Adam Sandler

Adele

Aisha Tyler

Alexander Skarsgård

Alexandra Breckenridge

Aline Mineiro

Amra Olevic Reyes

Amy Adams

Ana Hickmann

Andrew Garfield

Angelika Oles

Anna Kendrick

Anne Hathaway

Antonia Gentry

Bang Chan

Beyoncé Knowles Carter

Bill Hader

Blake Lively

Busy Philipps

Camila Queiroz

Carla Diaz

Chris Pine

Cillian Murphy

Claudia Leitte

Daniela Ruah

David Tennant

Dua Lipa

Emily Blunt

Emily Ratajkowski

Emma Mackey

Emma Samms

Emmy Kinney

Eric Nam

Gisele Bündchen

Grazi Massafera

Hayley Williams

Hilarie Burton

Hunter Schafer

James Corden

Jasmine Tookes

Jason Sudeikis

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Jenna Ortega

Jennie Kim

Jennifer Lawrence

Jesse Williams

Jessica Ho

Joe Alwyn

John Mulaney

Josephine Skriver

Josh Widdicombe

Juliette Freire

Kaia Geber

Karen Gillan

Karlie Kloss

Kat Dennings

Kate Walsh

Kehlani Parrish

Keke Palmer

Kendall Jenner

Kevin Jonas

Khloe Kardashian

Kieran Culkin

Kim Jisoo

Kim Kardashian

Kim Seokjin

Kira Kosarin

Kourtney Kardashian

Kunpimook Bhuwakul

Kylie Jenner

Lais Ribeiro

Lalisa Manoban

Lana Condor

Larissa Manoela

Lauren Cohan

Lily Collins

Lily James

Loey Lane

Lucien Laviscount

Lucy Hale

Luisa Sonza

Madelaine Petsch

Madelyn Cline

Maisie Peters

Mandy Moore

Margot Robbie

Mariana Rios

Marina Ruy Barbosa

Matt Smith

Matthew Macfadyen

Megan Fox

Megan Pete

Miles Teller

Miley Cyrus

Min Yoongi

Mischa Barton

Nina Dobrev

Odette Annable

Oliver Cohen Jackson

Oliver Hudson

Olivia Munn

Olivia Rodrigo

Olivia Wilde

Park Chaeyoung

Park Sooyoung

Patrick Dempsey

Paul Rudd

Pedro Pascal

Peter Capaldi

Phoebe Bridgers

Rachel Zegler

Rafa Kalimann

Rainn Wilson

Reese Witherspoon

Regé-Jean Page

Rob Beckett

Robyn Fenty

Romee Strijd

Rosalia

Ryan Reynolds

Sabrina Carpenter

Sabrina Sato

Sadie Sink

Salma Hayek

Sara Sampaio

Sarah Andrade

Selena Gomez

Shakira

Shanola Hampton

Shantel VanSanten

Simon Baker

Simon Pegg

Sofia Richie

Sophia Bush

Stephen Colbert

Sthefane Matos

Sydney Sweeney

Tata Werneck

Tate McRae

Taylor Swift

Tom Hanks

Tom Hiddleston

Travis Kelce

Vanessa Morgan

Victoria Justice

Yasmin Brunet

Yaya DaCosta

Zendaya Coleman

#anyaglamgifs wip

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azriel-edgemont · 7 months

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Timeline

1924: Azriel is born in London to parents Victor and Edna Edgemont. He passed a relatively unremarkable childhood in London. The Edgemonts were landed gentry, wealthy enough for them to idle their time in society of the 20s; they belonged to that group of Bright Young People, drinking and socializing and partying their time away. Neither Victor nor Edna particularly wanted a child. They were only too eager for their son to reach an appropriate age to be sent to boarding school. Azriel was essentially raised by governesses and nannies until the age of 13.

1937: Azriel is sent to Eton. In the course of his schooling, he is "discovered" by Beauregard DeVry (going by John), a teacher at Eton who takes a special interest in developing Azriel's voice, which he calls "a rare, precious, beautiful gift". In addition to his normal studies, Azriel begins private vocal lessons with DeVry. Upon arrival at Eton, Azriel also meets another student one year ahead of him, named Alastair Mercotte. Despite their difference in age, the boys become the very best of friends. Alastair gives him the nickname "Aggie".

1939: The friendship between Alastair and Aggie develops into a romantic/sexual relationship--initiated by Aggie, though Alastair is more than willing. World War II breaks out.

1941: Alastair turns 18 and is conscripted into the British Army; he is forced to cut his hair. When they shear the long, silky tail of it, he asks to keep it; he gives it to Aggie, the whole thing, not just a small lock (Aggie adores his hair; he adores Aggie). Aggie hollows out a copy of An Ideal Husband that he steals from the Eton library and keeps the hair inside. He has it to this day.

1942: Aggies turns 18, but is rejected from the British Army on account of a frail constitution and "flighty disposition". His failure to serve is seen as a fault by his father, Victor, who has himself undergone a shift in perspective after serving for three years himself. He is disowned by the Edgemont estate and begins his employment with the London Opera under DeVry's tutelage. Until the end of the war, he writes letters to the front; he never gets a response. Fearing the worst, despite his ardent romantic love for Alastair, he indulges his passion for pleasures of the flesh with any number of flighty affairs. He develops a reputation as something of a playboy Casanova in certain circles, enabled by his patron.

1946: Aggie encounters Alastair--and Alastair's new wife Margot--following a performance at the London Opera. Thrilled at the happenstance encounter, he invites Alastair out for a drink (at a club Aggie belongs to via his family name) from which they retire to Aggie's apartments (provided by DeVry). A sexual encounter ensures. Afterwards, Alastair tells Aggie it can't happen again; he is dedicated to his wife, and to the son they are expecting.

"I kept every letter you wrote me, Aggie, honest did--and I'll keep them forever. But I've got people depending on me now. We're not boys, not anymore--we've got to be men, now, and I can't--God, I wish it were different, but I can't. This has to be goodbye, love, I'm sorry--I'm so sorry."

Aggie's heart is broken, but he hides it behind a beatific smile and tells Alastair he understands, convinces him they can remain friends. Alastair, relieved, agrees to this fervently; Aggie (Azriel--it feels too intimate for Alastiar to call him Aggie in front of Margot) becomes a frequent guest at their home, and is a tentative friend to Margot. For her part--she knows enough about her husband to guess at the genesis of their relationship (even if it is never voiced) but trusts him enough to believe that part of Alastair's nature is in his past (part of the reason Alastair won't betray her any further than he already has). Aggie and Alastair never so much as kiss after that first reunion.

1947: Phillip is born. Alastair and Margot make Aggie his godfather. The conversation when Alastair asks him is fraught with unspoken meaning; Phillip is their son, should have been, if the world was just a little different. Because he is Azriel at the Mercotte home, when Phillip learns to speak, he calls Aggie "Azza". The nickname sticks.

1952: Aggie is Embraced by DeVry--a Toreador ancillae, patron of the arts--on his 28th birthday. Aggie's celebrity as a countertenor has reached its peak, as has his devotion to sex, parties, and all earthly pleasures. His voice still hasn't changed, as high and clear and lovely as it was at 13 but now with years of technical practice and expertise behind it, and DeVry is loathe to risks its loss. After his Embrace, the Blood quickly manifests in Aggie, heightening his hedonistic sensualism to dizzying new levels. He loses himself in new appreciation for sensation, growing distant from the Mercottes and their quaint family life; his sudden pattern of rejecting all invitations to midday functions seems easily explained by his drowning in his newfound rapacious debauchery, becoming enraptured by the world of celebrity and popularity. He makes an effort to, at least, continue writing letters to stay in touch with the Mercottes, and keeps a close eye on Phillip as the boy grows up, but otherwise detaches from this last personal relationship as he enters the World of Darkness.

In the intervening years, Aggie and DeVry keep up the story about AGgie's graceful "aging" and youthful appearance for as long as they can, but the performances--for the general populace, at least--must gradually wind down. Eventually, the incredible performances of Azriel Edgemont fade out of the public consciousness. DeVry and his few clan connections spread seeds of rumours about illness, tragedy, even scandal, until the interest in even that dries up. Aggie continues, privately, to entertain, hosting lavish parties and connecting with artists of varying fame, exposure, and talent. The prodigious growth of talent surrounding him and, by extension, DeVry leads the Sire to Release Aggie in 1955, even as he despairs (fondly) of his childe's motivations.

1960: Victor and Edna Edgemont die--neither he nor the tabloids make much note of it.

1964: Margot Mercotte passes away. Aggies receives the news via letter from his godson:

"I think Dad would like to see you again...he's talked about you a lot recently. Mum said she didn't want you at the funeral. Sorry. It's not your fault or anything, it's just. Well, you know. You and Dad. It's kind of strange--he's sad that Mum's gone, obviously, and I know he loved her well but it also seems like a weight's gone from his shoulders. He seems happier, even though he is very much grieving. I hope you get what I'm saying."

(Aggie, Phillip, and Alastair don't know this--Margot's wish for Aggie to be excluded from the funeral was not an act of malice or due to dislike; Phillip's read on it isn't wrong--she had her suspicions about Aggie and Alastair's relationship, after all--but she simply wanted the dignity of being mourned by her family before he started making a new life the way she fully expected him to.)

Aggie sends Phillip a letter back, offering condolences--"Your mum was a good person. I loved her a lot." He doesn't mention Alastair; he understands what Phillip is getting at, loves the boy for his candor and tacit acceptance, but he hasn't aged since 1952 and twelve years is too long for a 17-year-old to believe excuses about being blessed with good genes. He and Phillip keep up an occasional correspondence (Aggies craves every mention of Alastair, however brief, though Phillip doesn't suggest again that Aggie should return to their lives). When he learns, through Philips' letters and the clan's connections, that Phillip is pursuing a career as an artist, Aggie uses DeVry's money to set up a trust and monthly stipend for him. He does what he can to help Phillip flourish as an artist, opening doors and greasing palms when he can or needs to. His Sire doesn't like it--Phillip's not all that good, mediocre at best and certainly nowhere near his own standards, lacking any real potential--but he allows Aggie his human indulgence out of fondness for his child. (He point blank refuses to even entertain the notion of seeking permission to Embrace Phillip. Aggie brings it up once, then never again.)

1971: Aggie sort of re-enters society in the 70s as a new persona--"Oh yes, I've been told I look a bit like that opera singer--No, no relation, just lucky to resemble someone so lovely, don't you think?"--and gains a reputation as someone who knows how to party, who collects artists like post-marked stamps or baseball cards, who knows people that can make or break a career based on how much he likes you. While DeVry laments the evolution of music during the period, Aggie finds that he loves it, and for a time refocuses his own patronage from fine art to the sultry, hypnotic music of acid and psychedelic rock.

1980: Alastair contracts AIDS during the earliest days of the crisis. Phillip, now 33, writes to Aggie to tell him.

"I am begging you, Azza--I dont know why you and Dad fell out, but he's dying. He's all alone, except me. I know he wants to see you; he misses you so much. I think it would give him some peace. I think he might not be here if he'd had you wants to make things right between the two of you."

Aggies determines to go and visit Alastair in hospital, though he arranges it, via a Toreador nurse, when no one else is about--certainly not Phillip. Aggie is more serious in this moment than he really has been for decades, at this point--he speaks to Alastair without artifice, without his armour, sits with him through the night. He holds Alastiar's hand as they reminisce, keeps holding it when Alastair, exhausted, falls asleep and Aggie lets himself fall apart with weeping. Alastair doesn't remark on his appearance, or his long absence. Aggie waits out the night with Alastair, hoping he will be there for Alastair's last breath, risking the emergence of the sun. He skips his meal that night, even though Alastair is right there because--fuck--this dying man is most of what is left of his human heart and soul; but he has to leave before the sun, leaves Alastair there with a last kiss. The next evening, the Toreadornurse at the clinic calls to tell him that Alastair passed that day. His son was at his side.

1981: Aggies becomes morose, his mood at odds with his Blood, unable to find joy or beauty in his surroundings after Alastair's death. More than once, his Frenzy is triggered by his apathy, the Blood screaming out for beauty his eyes refuse to see. The only thing that seems to bring him any peace is singing, transposing grief to art; but doing so for an empty house, or a captive audience of simpering fools, isn't cutting it any longer. DeVry suggests that they relocate so that Aggie can restart his career in a new locale. They seed the local tabloids with grainy, out-of-focus shots and accompanying articles suggesting that the departure of Azriel Edgemont from the public eyes was, in fact, a secret family and a desire to protect them from the spotlight. An exclusive interview with a private chef in the Edgemont employ has revealed that Azriel's son, now 18, has inherited his father's angelic voice and looks. He is seeking his own musical career in North America, out of the long shadow of his father. Aggie and DeVry pack up and leave London; Aggie Edgemont, Jr., emerges and once again captivates classical audiences with his voice--especially his ability to convey depths of grief and longing that should be out of reach to such a young man. The apple, however, hasn't fallen far from the tree (in more than one respect)--Aggie the younger seems to have also inherited his father's infamous appetites for all manner of indulgence, and his legendary vanity.

1987: Aggie "Jr" writes to Phillip to inform him of his godfather's passing. He apologizes that they never got to meet, and for the secrecy surrounding his existence. "We should have been brothers; I never knew your father, but I think it's what they both would have wished for, in a more understanding world." They maintain an exceptionally casual correspondence; for Aggie, borne of a reluctance to remove himself entirely from the life of the man who should have been his son, and for Phillip, out of a latent obligation to his godfather's memory. Despite the arms-length nature of their new relationship, Aggies continues to hunt for subtle ways to support Phillip's career, and ensures the stipend will continue to supplement his mediocre success. Phillip paints a portrait of Aggie, based on a photo of he and Alastair in their younger years. As with everything Phillip paints, it isn't very good, but when it arrives from England, Aggie treasures it, hanging it in pride of place in his lavish penthouse apartment.

The connection between Aggie and Phillip, and the pain of losing Alastair that Aggie channels into his performances (and hides, buries, away the other 99% of the time) are the only real vestiges of his softer humanity that Aggie still clings to. In every other way, he throws himself headlong into this hedonistic tendencies, taking things day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute and pleasure by pleasure. He constantly seeks out new thrills, encounters, sensations, and beautiful distractions. These glimpses of humanity are few and far between, and become more so as the years pass, until it is only on occasion that a lover, or a client, or--most usually--DeVry will find him in a fit of melancholia.

#my posts: words

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