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chiefnooniensingh · 4 years

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I Won’t Hesitate (for you) Epilogue

Epilogue: I thank the oceans (for giving me you)

In this chapter: Michael and Alex reflect on that fateful train ride.

A/n: I wasn't going to make you wait a full week for this epilogue! I can't believe it's over you guys, what a wonderful ride! I hope you guys enjoyed it. And if anyone has an au in mind that they want me to ride, hit me up! I'm looking for new inspiration!

As always, a special thanks to Aileen (@acomebackstory), Callie (@callieramics), @hm-arn, @royalshadowhunter, @ladymajavader and May (@eddiediazs) over on Tumblr for their continued support and cheerleading. I don't know if I would've finished it without you guys!

Last chapter hasn't been guessed yet, so give it a go! Can anyone guess this chapter's?

Also on: ao3

other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

19th of October, 1945

The war was over. Paris had been liberated for over a year, but the war itself had only been over for 5 months. Michael and Alex had recently returned to their city, to find it miraculously undamaged and their flat only marginally ransacked. They’d never had much valuables anyway. They cleaned up their flat, settled back into their lives and it was almost as if the war hadn’t happened.

Alex and Michael had waited out the war in the countryside, living with a large farming family who treated them like their own. In the last year before the liberation, a young child who’d lost both her parents in the camps joined them, and Michael and Alex became her surrogate parents. When they returned to Paris, she came with them.

Alex was looking at her sleeping now, his darling girl, the beautiful and genius Mara. If he hadn’t known she wasn’t related to them, he would’ve sworn she was Michael’s kid. Cheeky, optimistic, chaotic and infinitely smarter than him. Alex loved her so much it ached to look at her now.

It was 4AM. The house was quiet and dark, the autumn chill already creeping in through the windows and the cracks. Alex shivered, gave his daughter one last look and returned to his own bedroom, to his husband in their bed. He crawled back under the covers and pressed himself against Michael, who was always warm and chased away the night chill. Michael jerked awake with a hiss. “Jesus Christ, Alex.”

“Sorry,” Alex muttered, buried his cold nose in Michael’s neck.

“You okay?” Michael asked softly, flipping over and wrapping his arms around Alex. “Why were you out of bed?”

“It’s been ten years.”

Michael looked at the clock on his nightstand and let out a long breath. “It has.”

Alex closed his eyes and curled into Michael’s chest. It was the reason he’d woken up so suddenly. His nightmares only rarely brought him back to that fateful train ride anymore, but tonight they’d come back with a vengeance. On the day Noah Bracken was murdered, setting events in motion that eventually led to Alex letting 8 people get away with murder. “Do you regret it?” It was a question they always asked each other around the 19th.

“No,” Michael said, his voice trembling a little. “Never. None of us,” Alex knew Michael meant the 8 passengers with whom he had committed the crime, “would’ve been able to move on if we hadn’t done it.” Alex nodded. “Do you regret letting us get away with it?”

“No,” Alex said, without hesitation. “Noah Bracken was a monster. He deserved punishment, and the system wouldn’t deliver. You did. It wasn’t just, but it was right.” He sighed, wrapping his arms around Michael and squeezing tightly. “But it’s something I will always have to live with.”

Michael nodded, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Yeah. Me, too.”

Alex looked up at his husband, his heart melting when their eyes met. The ten years since the Orient Express had been kind to him. The curls were still as wild as ever, Michael had even grown them out more, providing Alex with plenty of hair to run his hands through. His eyes were filled with warmth, love and laughter. There were small wrinkles in the corners of his eyes now, and those on his forehead reflected the worries and burdens he’d had to bear these past ten years.

They’d both grown up. Both seen and done stuff they carried with them forever. But they’d fought for their love and their life and they’d won. They’d survived the war and even managed to raise a child together.

“You know, when all is said and done, I’m grateful for that train ride,” Alex said, nudging Michael’s nose with his own.

“What do you mean?” Michael asked softly, nipping Alex’s lips with his.

Alex pressed a kiss to his husband’s mouth and smiled. “Because it brought us back together. Despite the terrible things that happened there, we found each other again. I never thought I’d see you again, and then I stepped on board that train and there you were. You were haunted by the ten years since we’d last seen each other, troubled by the horrible crime you were about to commit. But still beautiful. You were cold and distant, and yet I knew instantly I had never stopped loving you.”

Michael nodded. “I instantly knew that the plan was doomed, when I saw you. I knew I wouldn’t be able to lie to you for too long. For ten years, I loved you from afar and suddenly, there you were, in the most critical moment of my life.” He shook his head. “I’m still impressed with myself I lasted as long as I did.”

Alex laughed. “Well, you never actually told me anything. I figured most things out by myself.”

“You were scarily accurate, I was so proud.”

“The world is built on logic – ”

“ – one just needs to learn to see it,” Michael finished with a smile. “You are still insufferably modest.” Alex just shrugged and snuggled close to his husband again. “I love you, Alex Guerin.”

Alex’s stomach did a summersault, as it did every time Michael called him by his full name. He’d left the ‘Manes’-name behind long ago, but hearing his married name spoken with so much love and adoration that Michael always put into it, always made him giddy. “I love you, too, Michael Guerin.”

Michael leaned in for a kiss, the two of them entwined together in their bed. The kiss started out chaste and loving, but as Alex pulled Michael’s hips against his own, it turned hungry fast. Michael groaned, and Alex felt a burning longing to draw out more lovely sounds. With one swift movement, he pushed Michael on his back and climbed on top of him. Alex pinned Michael’s hands against the pillow beneath him and dove in for another hungry kiss. He pressed his hips down into Michael, drawing out another sweet moan from his throat. “Alex, please,” Michael whined when Alex broke their kiss to trail his lips down Michael’s throat. “Please, my love…”

“I like it when you beg,” Alex murmured, playfully biting at his husband’s earlobe.

“I like it when you get me off,” Michael growled, bucking his hips to cause some more friction between them. Alex gasped and Michael looked victorious. Alex sat up, his hands braced on Michael’s chest. Michael’s hands immediately found purchase on Alex’s hips.

They were both still fully clothed, and that was unacceptable. With a swift motion, Alex got rid of Michael’s shirt and then his own, letting his hands roam appreciatively over Michael’s chest. No matter how often Alex looked upon his naked husband, he never became any less attractive. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

“Yes, yes,” Michael said impatiently, arching off the bed when Alex playfully flicked a nipple. “Now, please, Alex!” He sounded absolutely wrecked, and Alex grinned. They hadn’t even started yet.

Alex bent down and trailed kisses from the hollow of Michael’s throat all the way down to the waistband of his pyjamas. “Don’t move, Michael. You know the drill.” Grabbing hold of the pants, he began, slowly, torturously, pulling the pants down, trailing kissing on newly exposed skin as he went. Michael was panting heavily, his hands fisted in the sheets as he tried to keep himself from grabbing Alex’s hair and kissing him senseless. Alex grinned against the inside of Michael’s thigh, lightly scraping his teeth against the sensitive skin there, causing Michael to shiver. He looked up to see Michael biting his lip to restrain himself, and Alex tutted, sitting up and pulling Michael’s lip from between his teeth. “None of that,” Alex chided, letting a single finger absentmindedly slide up Michael’s cock, with only the lightest of touches. “You know I want to hear you.”

“You fucker,” Michael growled, “God, please, I can’t take it, please, Alex, god damnit, fuck…”

Alex laughed, leaning over to the nightstand to grab the bottle of lube stashed there. He sat back up and moved to sit between Michael’s legs, who spread them eagerly. “Look at you,” Alex whispered. “So eager.”

“Fuck you,” Michael spat, his eyes half-closed with pleasure. Alex enjoyed Michael’s absolutely filthy mouth when Alex was toying with him like this. He knew Michael was enjoying this as much as Alex was.

“I think I’d rather fuck you today,” Alex said, coating two fingers in lube. He bent over Michael, pressed a small kiss to the tip of his weeping cock and then took him in his mouth. Michael let out a string of curses and threw his head back. While Alex was sucking him off, he spread his ass a little wider and gently pushed a single finger inside him. Michael groaned as he felt Alex enter him.

Alex watched his husband closely, watching the familiar and wildly attractive look of ecstasy come over his face. He gently began pushing his finger in and out, allowing Michael to adjust to the presence and waiting as long as needed before pushing the second finger inside as well. Michael let out a wrecked sob, music to Alex’s ears. He hollowed his cheeks around Michael’s cock, and Michael gave a strangled yell. “That’s it,” Alex whispered, letting Michael’s cock pop from his mouth, “let me hear you, my darling.”

“Alex,” Michael whined, looking absolutely wrecked as Alex pushed his fingers into Michael again and again. “Please, I’m ready, please, please, my love…” Michael’s face was flushed with pleasure and despair, Alex felt his own cock throb, desperate to fuck his husband. But he wasn’t going to do anything before he was sure Michael was well and truly ready. So he picked up the lube, dribbled more on his hand and then gently added a third. Michael sobbed. “I love you, I love you, I love you, please, Alex…” he babbled, his head thrashing against the pillow, and Alex knew he was ready.

He fished a condom out of the nightstand and hastened to put it on himself. “Alright, my darling,” Alex whispered, leaning over Michael to kiss him softly, “I got you.”

Michael raised his hips, his entire body begging for Alex to just fuck him already. Alex lined himself up and slowly pushed into Michael, allowing him time to adjust. Michael let out a long, drawn-out moan that made Alex nearly come on the spot. “Oh baby,” Michael croaked out, “Alex…please…move.” He jerked his hips and Alex hissed, pleasure shooting up his spine. Alex obeyed, pulling out and pushing back in, finding a rhythm they had perfected over the last decade, that he knew would unravel Michael faster than anything else. “Yes…” Michael moaned, reaching up to grab Alex’s head and pull him down. Their mouths crashed together, and they kissed sloppily, between moans and heavy breaths, as Alex sped up his movements gradually. “I love you,” Michael whispered, wrapping his arms around Alex and burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. Alex let his head drop against Michael’s shoulder in return, trying to hold off his own orgasm. But he was close. And he could tell Michael was as well.

“I love you,” Alex whispered. Michael’s hips jerked, sending a thrill of pleasure through Alex, making him gasp and bite down on Michael’s neck. Michael groaned. “Come on, baby,” Alex urged him. “Come for me, I want to feel you come for me.” He reached down and wrapped a hand around Michael’s cock. Michael jerked, his hands flying into Alex’s hair.

“So – so close,” he panted. His eyes were locked on Alex, and they looked at each other intently as they drove each other to the brink. Soft ah, ah, ah’s slowly turned to high-pitched whines and soon enough, Michael exploded underneath Alex’s expert ministration. Alex didn’t slow down, but fucked through Michael’s orgasm, now chasing his own. Michael let his hands roam down Alex’s back and grabbed his ass, pulling him even closer. Alex lost all control. Growling, he sped up, so close, wanting…needing. “Come for me, Alex Guerin,” Michael whispered, and that was that on that. For a second, everything went white as he came, shuddering, his arms giving out and falling, wrecked, on top of his husband, who caught him effortlessly.

They lay together, panting, for several minutes, Alex still inside of Michael, neither feeling any inclination to move. “God, that was amazing,” Michael finally said, drawing a laugh from Alex. “It’s like you get better every time.”

“You make me want to be better. Watching you come apart beneath me is…highly arousing.” Alex finally extracted himself from Michael’s embrace, pulling on his bathrobe and padding over to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and clean himself up. He returned with a warm, damp towel and he cleaned Michael best he could, despite the man’s genuine dislike of moving after sex. When they were both a semblance of clean, Alex fell into bed again, wrapping his arms around Michael and closing his eyes. There was light on the horizon, signalling that the day was about to start, but neither felt the need. Friday was their day off, and they wouldn’t have to move until Mara demanded breakfast.

The events of that one week ten years ago would always be a part of them. October would always be a difficult month. But they had each other, they had Mara, they’d made a life for themselves, as good, upstanding citizens. Life wasn’t always easy, but Alex felt that with his husband and his daughter there with him, he could handle anything.

So Alex snuggled closer to Michael and closed his eyes, knowing the nightmares wouldn’t come back today.

He fell asleep, content and happy, with Michael right there next to him. Side by side.

Where they belonged.

#malex #malex ff #rnm ff #malex fanfic #roswell new mexico #Alex Manes #Michael Guerin #a disaster bi and a chaotic gay #what could go wrong #otp:I Don't Look Away #my fanfics #my rnm ff #my malex ff #motoe au

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