#make every minute count
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One thing…. Stay true to yourself!!!! Some ppl are just mean
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Why was finding Stede's letter so important for Ed?
Real talk, I adore the season 2 finale and to me the rush is worth it to have a safe ending place. But this episode is so overpacked, and Ed goes through such an incredible character arc and I love it, so here goes my rant on why he burst into tears and screamed at the forest when he read Stede's letter.
Ed is all goddamn over the place in the first part of this episode, tossed about by his insecurity and baffled by what is safe and what is unsafe. He has a voiceover about how amazing being a fisherman is, then ends up regressing into childhood trauma when another father figure freaks out over dinner. Ed doesn't even choose to leave the fisherman fantasy: the fantasy gets shattered and he gets fired in a high-speed parallel of Stede trying to go home (return to a safe, simple life) and finding he doesn't belong there in S1E10. At least Ed does manage to not drown in self-hatred on the way out.
And then Ed returns to the pirate safe space, only to find that it's been invaded and taken over. And that his selfishness, the low self-esteem that distorted his view of reality and his relationship, may have had real consequences for someone he loves (another parallel with Stede, this time early season 2). Ed may have been off pretending to be a "dirty old fisherman" while Stede died.
What was safe is now unsafe. All Ed has left is himself--so he really looks at himself.
At the fact that the kraken is always there, no matter what clothes he wears or how deeply he tries to bury it. He can fight that and run from it, and end up losing everything. Or he can embrace it, and figure out what comes next. Be what he was made by his past, however dark that past was.
But Ed's past wasn't all darkness. Ed walks onto the beach and gets a letter from the past, and suddenly there is something safe again in his world. Something worth killing for.
Ed first started falling for Stede through the stories Stede built around himself, stories formed by boastful encounters with Izzy, muttered hallucinations, and trinkets decking his ship. Back then, Ed didn't believe he himself was a good person, didn't believe he could have friends. But Stede told him stories about friendship and treasure maps, and Ed took these to heart and told stories to match, and Ed found truth through the fiction.
Then Stede left, and those stories fell away for Ed. Ed embraced the story of the kraken, of Blackbeard. Instead of a story about love or survival, he wrote a story about an impossible bird, a raiding record, and a treacherous crew--and mourned a story about lost love.
But Stede kept writing stories. He poured himself into his letters, poured his heart into sustaining his connection to Ed in spite of all the obstacles.
Ed didn't believe in this story after Stede came back, even though he wanted to. He kept emotional distance from Stede, avoided risks, and bailed after two days. Because Ed didn't trust that their bond was solid, that their story was something that could survive Ed's darkness, insecurities, and damage. Didn't trust that what Stede said this time, he had truly thought about, and meant with all his heart.
Stede didn't get how insecure Ed was in all this, because Stede was just so sure of Ed, and of their love. Stede believed in his story with his whole soul, and Stede's stories have a way of creating reality--after all, the whole crew of the Revenge became "real boys." But he couldn't figure out how to communicate this to Ed, to let Ed believe it too.
And then, at a moment where his identity is fractured and re-forming, Ed finds this letter. And just like that, there's a solid ground of story beneath his feet.
Because there was, in fact, solid ground beneath his feet all along.
Ed's and Stede's relationship, like all relationships, is hard. But they formed a real bond of love in season 1, and like Mary Bonnet said, being in love is easy. Ed can trust it--like he did before, but for real this time.
Ed's figuring this out ruddy late. He and Stede didn't communicate these things to each other when they had the chance, and now the chance may have slipped away. So now, Ed yells his feelings at the world and runs off to try to find his person.
When Ed finds Stede again, he doesn't hold back anything. He doesn't hesitate to kill, and he doesn't hesitate to drop his sword when he reaches Stede. They're finally face to face, in every way. Finally balanced, and seeing each other clearly, and able to communicate.
And, for the first time since he and Stede reached each other this season--for the first time since his vision in the Gravy Basket really--Ed is utterly vulnerable.
And entirely safe.
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd spoilers#ofmd meta#ed teach#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#arrrggggghhh every moment needed time to land it's like they were counting seconds in this ep#there's just too damn much it's as much as stede went through last year but 7 minutes less screentime#goddamn gorgeous tho#hey if someone sees this and can direct me to gifs that hit the still images i'll be eternally grateful gif searching makes me nuts#i gave up after half an hour on gif searches sorrry
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Dangerously close to plotting a real Skyrim/Lord of the Rings crossover for after Keeping Count because my secret desire for Leara/Glorfindel has reared its head again
Shhh Don't question it.
#look look now i must explain#the explanation is that leara simply works well with literally every male character I like at least for the most part#anyway#it'd be funny#i wish i could write a leara/astarion fic but i do NOT understand d&d at all alas#I understand lotr/silm on a crazy level so i guess sunshine hero elf it is#this is fine actually#actually what i really need to do is edit and finish my funny Skyrim/hobbit crack fic but that's a ten year old project#no really#I do NOT KNOW i am just having thoughts and i'm sharing them on my blog because it's mine and I can#also i was in the glorfindel/ofc tag on ao3 like five minutes ago and it looks empty and sad#so Leara can fix it#one day there will be more leara ships than there are for hermione granger jk maybe#i should make a list#I am talking out of my hair it is unlikely that i'll ever do anything the fact that keeping count even exists is a bloody miracle#mod post#oc: leara roseblade
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My name is not Sanchez, pendeja! It's José Francisco Morales Rivera de la Cruz!
#flashing gif#blue beetle#blue beetle 2023#blue beetle movie#dc comics#dceu#josé francisco morales rivera de la cruz#harvey guillén#he really said i am only going to have five minutes in this entire movie and i am going to make every single second of it count#i love him so much#my edits#my gifs#i need this movie in 4k so fucking bad hd is not ENOUGH for pretty gifs#that feral little smile lives in my head rent free#and i don't have a single good screencap of it because the lighting in this scene makes the quality of every screengrab so iffy T_T
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curious to know why you dislike juline?
tbh i had no opinion at all of her and then about a year ago there was a poll on which member of the collective was the best. and the tiergan lovers website let tiergan down. in favor of her. /hj
in seriousness, dislike was a bit strong. im still mostly neutral on her. she does sort of feel like just another sparkly girlboss in the series which. admittedly is a trope in kotlc thats started to piss me off a bit bc it seems like every adult woman falls into it.
juline is like. the final evolution of that sparkly girlbossery. she has no real relationship damage for more than 2 minutes after revealing shes been lying to her family for years and was part of the organization that grady thought killed his daughter.
in general! it doesnt seem like she ever faces any consequences for lying to her family or pushing them to the side a bit in favor of the black swan.
idk maybe there were problems (specifically with dex) and we never saw them bc theyre not sophies problem but. whatever.
also what is her "official job." was she passing off as a stay at home mom? does she work in the nobility? idk
#juline is like the supreme version of the never do wrong girlboss to me#like yeah she faced consequences with her family!! for a total of 3 minutes!!#i dont expect this to be too fleshed out bc the plot is busy enough without including every trial and tribulation in julines life#but shannon its not too hard to make female characters that arent all the exact same#i can count on 1 hand how many women dont fall into shannons strong badass sparkly mother trope#i get the need to make women strong but that means nothing when every woman has the exact same personality#the only exceptions i can think of off the top of my head (galvin and alina) are put down by both the narrative and most of the fandom#cadence stands out to me also bc.#in general in the later books shes treated well despite her conflict with sophie.#and while shes still a strong character. she doesnt have the sparkly motherly bullshit everyone else has.#<- possibly a side effect of her time with the ogres#sorry this got rambly!! to summarize my problem isnt with juline exactly but with women as a whole in the series#kotlc
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Theories about what the "G" in the Conventionary G--'s name actually stands for:
Georg (Conventionary Georg, like Spiders Georg but for revolution)
Grantaire (it's a "resurrection AU" thing)
Gregoire after the Abbe Gregoire, a real-life person who likely inspired the character
Gean (Jean but with a G)
#'average person witnesses 200 revolutions/coups in their lifetime' actually just statistical error#average person witnesses 0 revolutions#conventionary georg who lives in revolutionary france and witnesses massive political upheaval every five minutes#is an outlier adn should not have been counted#but!#feel free to drop your hot conventionist name theories#les mis#les mis letters#statistically I think it makes sense for Everyone To Be Named Jean
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Reese/Dr. Kelly decision
(Episode 4 Spoilers)
This one is pretty straight-forward for me, but the choice I feel is "right" still leaves a guilty, sad aftertaste.
I give Dr. Kelly the tranquilizers.
I see it like this: when Reese starts to transform and Wayne arrives, you find yourself in the middle of a crazy dangerous situation that keeps getting worse. Unless you are Hot, you're powerless to stop it from escalating.
I was presented two bad options: help Dr. Kelly imprison her son again or let Reese murder his mother. I felt helpless because I didn't want any of those outcomes, so how could I make the most out of a situation that was so out of my control? By thinking ahead and picking the alternative that didn't have irreversible consequences.
I want Reese to be free AND happy. There are some things you can't go back from, and killing and eating your mom is one of them (seriously, he didn't need to devour her). No matter how awful Dr. Kelly's parenting was, that's something irredeemable that would clearly hurt Reese as well. Do you think Kaneeka and Stella would treat Reese as if nothing happened? Or that Reese wouldn't carry the guilt with him for the rest of his life? Would he internalize that murder is an acceptable solution to his problems, and weaponize his power again in the future? Reese transforms into something supernatural, but what he does with that power is what can make him a monster.
This turning moment makes me think of how all of Reese's story is about choice. Joan knew her son was different and she tells us that she had no choice but to keep him restrained for everyone's safety. But of course she had a choice. She couldn't know that he would harm anyone, she just feared it. It's the suffering that she inflicts to her son that makes Reese despise her in the end. I love that the game actually gives you the chance to call her out on that ("don't you think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy?").
She absolutely could have done things differently. She could have been honest with Reese about his nature (and how little they knew about it) and educate him to accept and control it. It's her fault that she didn't even consider it. Can you imagine having a super strong gym bro son and making him sick because "he could hurt someone with his powerful build"? That's basically what she does. She imprisons her son on the grounds of possibility, for a crime he hasn't committed and might never commit. She never trusted Reese, never gave him a chance. If she did, Reese could have been a fully functional Jersey Devil (or whatever kind of goblin he is) that used his powers for harmless purposes.
But Dr. Kelly's fear makes her narrow-minded when it comes to Reese. And in Episode 4 she tries to make us buy into her black&white philosophy - she frames the crisis as a situation with only two possible outcomes: either she tranquilizes Reese and locks him up, keeping everyone safe, or Reese kills her and rampages free to terrorize the town. NICE DICHOTOMY IDIOT, WHAT LIES OUTSIDE IT??
As I said, I want a different outcome and I won't let Dr. Kelly trick me into thinking that's impossible. So, despite being powerless to get my way in that moment, I focus on what I can do after. I cannot bring Dr. Kelly back from the dead. I can absolutely break out Reese later, and that's what I intend to do.
Reese transforms and becomes a bit insane PROBABLY because of the influence of the carving (so a bit my fault 😬 sorry I brought unearthly despair to your household, I'm a Scarlet). I hope that it will pass and I'll be able to reason with him when he calms down. I wasn't hot enough to appease you before, pal, I'll give it another try after your nap!
So my intention is to free Reese and maintain his innocence. Let's disrupt the self-fulfilling prophecy before it self-fulfills! There is a better way to do things and it's about time the Kellys hear about it.
I'm determined to do that, but it still feels awful to know that Reese thinks I betrayed him. I barely said a word to Dr. Kelly when she walked me out of the house, because she acted like we were sort of on the same page while all I could think was "you're still wrong and I'm going to get your son out of here as soon as I can, I just didn't want him to gobble you up".
#no i never call tabitha in this scene#i just wouldn't count on her making it on time#something like “when every second counts your cousin is minutes away”#also what could she contribute in that situation?#the answer is: a shotgun#she's a fast determined woman with a shotgun#reese kelly#joan kelly#scarlet hollow#black tabby games
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#amnesia the bunker#for me is Boisrond provides a really interesting perspective to view the 18th July and the following few days#>Farber gets killed shortly after shooting the Stalker to protect him > Followed immediately after by Tremblay#>Augustin as far as the rest of them know goes missing at this point so the logical assumption is the Stalker got him too#(which...is kind of true in a way)#if you count Henri who is in critical condition that's 4 people he sees pretty much every day (as per bunking arrangement) gone in a week#the former 3 gone within hours or even minutes of each other#and lucky him gets to see that yawning emptiness grow larger and larger until he's one of the last ones left by the time Henri wakes up 👍#I think there's a lot to do with him wrt loneliness‚ trauma‚ and survivor's guilt that makes a fun parallel to both Farber and Henri :)#when the horror is tragedy and the tragedy is horror 🤌💯🥳🎉#shakespeareomnibus#amnesia#blood tw#gore/
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she is THE time machine <3
#i was looking for what time machine is in french and when i put machine temporelle into google dutch wikipedia came up#which is funny bc this page doesnt even exist in french?#but theres also some physics article from 2017 that uses machine temporelle so im gonna assume it's a real word#and use it#bc im not using 'machine à voyager dans le temps' im sorry#it's good for my word count maybe but can you imagine if they had to say all that every time?#i like french a lot but i dont like how many words it uses to say anything#french is like why use 1 word when 4 will do#just make up some words im begging you all this circumlocution is making me nuts#it doesnt gel with my writing style At All#missy voice: im cutting to the chase babey im streamlining im saving us a c t u a l minutes#missy when she needs to say 'machine à voyager dans le temps' every time: okay so we're not doing that#ursula voice: im a very busy lady and i havent got all day#missy writing a letter to the academie français: im a TIME LADY. do you udnerstand#do you understand how using a minimum of 6 SIX words every time i refer to my vehicle is funnily enough a waste of my time?#im sure we can do something about this#and if not im sure your successor can <3
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'you're too technical' no i'm not!! you're using the wrong phrase and the wrong words and equivalating two things that are nearly complete opposites and/or irrelevant to each other !!
#just me hi#do not tell me a thing and then use forms of speech that don't align i will mentally explode and sit silently for 15 minutes hvfbhs#/'you're talking back' YOU are using IRRELEVANT information as LEVERAGEEEEEE#sure you know a lot. but you are making my brain funkin ITCHY with this kind of nonsense#she said it jokingly but it really does make my brain bad-itchy hsfbs#'think before you speak' your sentence structure will be sitting on my vertebrae for days. do you understand this#actively lowering my blood count every time they say a thing that just wouldn't make any sense on paper#am I the crazy one here? probably!! but ouhghhghhghhh#//Anyway aside from the brain-itching vertebrae-vibrating blood-count annihilating things lol#i have finished chapter one at last!! only took me two days‚ which is pretty good actually!! :D#did i mention i was rewriting p.space again ? cuz i forgor loll :>#i am pretty happy with it i think ? give it a month or so hfsh#i gotta work on the last couple paragraphs and maybe just the three last pages entirely and then boom! fineshed (finished with finesse)#i'm gonna go do that right now actually lol#or might end up watching youtube‚ who knows ! the world is full of wonder and happenstances :>
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Creative Goals for 2024.
Posting this here to force some accountability to myself. I hate new years resolutions, and I have no end of trouble with long-term goals setting. Nevertheless, I want to take the time this year to actually ENJOY creativity.
Finish a Novel
Actually mix
#~10% done with the novel based on estimated word count#Although given how everything is ending up 2-3x longer than I anticipated that may be closer to 3-4%...#But at an average of 500 words a day should take me ~6 months#So even if I can only make myself write every OTHER day I should still be able to :3#Mixing... That's a bit harder#No cdj's to start with for example! (I have that tribe dj thing on steam that works)#(granted it means that even 5-10 minutes results in a migraine - not an ideal thing to try mixing edm with!)#But that's two very different creative endeavors#Hoping I can get at least one of them done :P
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currently texting my friend who is borrowing my copy of buddy babylon to see if i can get it back temporarily so i can make a post with it for buddy's birthday this week and our conversation literally sounds like we're working out a custody arrangement. pls i just want to spend time with my son (autographed copy of buddy babylon the buddy cole autobiography written by scott thompson and paul bellini 1998) for his birthdayyy
#to be clear she's definitely willing to let me have it back it's just us realizing we have exact opposite schedules#and having to go through every scheduling conflict before buddy's birthday being like ''can we meet for 2 minutes then???''#ALSO!!! WHO ELSE IS EXCITED FOR BUDDY COLE'S BIRTHDAY ON THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!#buddy's canon birthday is february 29th 1960 as established in buddy bablyon#so technically with the number of birthdays he's had he's going to be turning 16 lmao#I should text scott and ask if he's throwing buddy a sweet sixteen!!!#but yeah i don't know exactly what i'll be doing to celebrate but i know i'll be going all out lmao#bc like. i'm not gonna be able to celebrate buddy's birthday on the actual day again until 2028!! what the fuck!!#so this is gonna be the only buddy birthday while we're still working on the documentary so we better make it count
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The fun thing about classic game inspired online games like Quake Champions is that there's a ton of little quality of life improvements you could make without having to do any major reprogramming that would massively improve the player experience and make it way easier for new players to get into the game and if you try to implement a single one of them, the fan base will skin you alive.
#I'm not saying it needs to be a clone of every other arena shooter game out there#but there's just stuff that is pointlessly aggravating#my biggest gripe is probably match length#your timer shouldn't be your failsafe to end a round#the point count should#because of the idea is 'the timer will make sure the game ends even if the point cap isn't reached'#then by and large the only matches lasting the full ten minutes are slogs
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okay i lied THIS is the last thing i'll say: is abundantly fucking clear that a lot of you have not been affected, either personally or by proxy of someone very close to you, by the the specter of mass shootings. im 26 and this has happened to me 3x. this is not okay this is not normal this should never be normal and no matter what fucking leftist spin you try to put on it theres no rational and righteous position you can take that can allow this shit to keep happening.
#2 extremely credible threats/nearly (wouldve been) actual shootings. and 1 actual shooting#where only 2 people died bc the shooter was stopped within minutes by a teenage girl with a pepper spray keychain coming at him#not a fucking GUN a low grade chemical weapon u can get on amazon dot com for like $15#for every shooting u hear about think of the dozens u dont hear about bc they were stopped in time. this is inexcusable#think about the ones with too low a body count to make national headlines for more than a blip on one evening
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‘damon is a vampire, this is a vampire show, how can you criticize him for anything!? 🙄’ and it’s about people uncomfortable with him having multiple instances of going out of his way to excessively punish women for not returning his feelings like a lame regular human 4chanreddit incel 💀
#anti damon salvatore#what does vampirism have to do with one woman not loving damon so he gets drunk and tries to force himself on her look alike 5 minutes later#LMFAOOOO#i just can’t stand the disingenuousness of it all.#like. i actually DO find it annoying when people include killer in with damon’s list of crimes because... hello.#especially since i don’t find the things that supposedly make his murdering ‘worse’ to be... valid whatsoever.#(because after a certain kill count and level of violence 'feeling bad' is meaningless i'm sorry lmfao.)#but y’all want to defend EVERYTHING under ‘vampire!!’ and it’s nuts.#he could eat literal shit and y’all would say ‘stop calling it gross he’s a VAMPIRE!!’#idk how to tell you u can like/love a chr and still not justify/support every little thing they do.#or at least mind ur business when other ppl just don’t like something they have every right not to.#i love him but i don’t think klaus was ‘right’ to choke out hayley for considering an abortion#(especially not when an episode prior he was yapping about ‘kill the baby’ anyway)#‘vampirism’ is not code for#‘my white male fave has a pass to be violently misogynistic in a way that mirrors real life and if anyone feels a way about it ur a PUSSY!!’#and this isn’t even touching on the ridiculousness of constantly ‘VAMPIRE GENRE’ing a show that very much *is* a teen drama#and regularly hails the chrs as ‘heroes’ and good ppl -#so pretending it exists in the same way as something like dracula or carmilla / other adult gothic tales#and people have to engage with it the same way is fucking ridiculous 😭#tvdu text
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Last Seen Blogs
goldengoddess
june!
theemoji-kins
😊😊😊
yuty-kurlk
🌸•Yuty Kurlk•🌸
suitsmesmilee
Innocent Eyes
scarrps
SEX, MONEY, FEELINGS DIE.