Stargazing

(Click for better quality if its fuzzy!)

Finally finished my first like, full art piece that took me a month to complete!! And is a present for my dearest friend @persephotea <3 who is an amazing storyteller and talented artist and awesome friend who I love creating with! Happy Late Birthday? Merry Late Christmas?

GAY MUSIC CHART – 2017 week 08

Welcome to the Gay Music Chart, the LGBTQA related music videos TOP 40 actuality and most request. Vote for your favourite LGBTQA related music videos by leaving a comment for this post on : YOUTUBE (in the comment section of the video of the week) : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz7yfp-xq-b08tD6mAWwclA BLOGGER : http://gaymusicchart.blogspot.fr FACEBOOK : https://www.facebook.com/GayMusicChart/ TWITTER : https://twitter.com/GayMusicChart with #GayMusicChart TUMBLR : http://gaymusicchart.tumblr.com

Here is the recap for this week :

OUT : Chester Lockhart - Kiss (LW: 14 / WO: 17 / PEAK: 02) OUT : Lady Gaga - Pepsi Zero Sugar Super Bowl LI Halftime Show (LW: 16 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 16) OUT : Brandon Stansell - Never Know (LW: 17 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 03) OUT : Ross Alexander feat. Zoe - Obsession (Matt Pop Edit) (LW: 25 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 25) OUT : Goldfrapp - Anymore (LW: 26 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 26) OUT : Lostchild - Town (LW: 27 / WO: 14 / PEAK: 09) OUT : Michele Bravi - Il Diario Degli Errori (LW: 29 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 29) OUT : MUNA - So Special (Lyric Video) (LW: 30 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 30) OUT : Matilda - Apologize ft. OMVR (LW: 32 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 25) OUT : Cold War Kids - Love Is Mystical (LW: 34 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 34) OUT : Lauren Ruth Ward - Make Love To Myself (LW: 35 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 35) OUT : HEIÐRIK - Boy (LW: 37 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 16) OUT : Mateo Bocca - Jugar (LW: 38 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 35) OUT : Paulo Ho - Sempre fui a mulher de alguém (LW: 40 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 40)

01 (+ 1) : Patricio Arellano - Nuevo Sol (LW: 02 / WO: 14 / PEAK: 01 (x1)) 02 (+ 16) : Lizzo - Good As Hell (LW: 18 / WO: 11 / PEAK: 02) 03 (+ 3) : GAREK - Stray (LW: 06 / WO: 22 / PEAK: 01 (x2)) 04 (- 3) : Troye Sivan feat. Betty Who - Heaven (LW: 01 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 01 (x3)) 05 (+ 34) : MUNA - I Know A Place (LW: 39 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 05) 06 (- 3) : Brendan Maclean - House of Air (LW: 03 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 03) 07 (+ 3) : Pixie Geldof - Woman Go Wild (LW: 10 / WO: 15 / PEAK: 02) 08 (+ 15) : Brian Justin Crum - Name On You (LW: 23 / WO: 14 / PEAK: 03) 09 (+ 2) : Kevin Chomat - Un homme à terre (LW: 11 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 11) 10 (+ 14) : Conchita feat. Edo - Human (LW: 24 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 10) 11 (- 4) : Benny - Boys Will Be Boys (LW: 07 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 02) 12 (=) : Years & Years - Meteorite (LW: 12 / WO: 21 / PEAK: 01 (x3)) 13 (+ 9) : LP - Other People (LW: 22 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 11) 14 (- 9) : SISTAR (씨스타), Giorgio Moroder - One More Day (LW: 05 / WO: 12 / PEAK: 05) 15 (- 2) : LP - Tightrope (LW: 13 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 05) 16 (NEW) : Greg Gould - Don't Let Go (Love) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 16) 17 (NEW) : Dismissed - Hearts Align (live @ Melodifestivalen 2017) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 17) 18 (- 3) : Alvin Point - Il a dit (LW: 15 / WO: 23 / PEAK: 01 (x4)) 19 (+ 9) : Nicola Testa - Violet (LW: 28 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 16) 20 (NEW) : Đức Tuấn - Trăng Dưới Chân Mình (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 20) 21 (NEW) : Ray Noir feat. Mariann Rosa - All Alone (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 21) 22 (NEW) : Summer Luck - Part of Me (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 22) 23 (- 4) : Nell Bryden - Thought I Was Meant For You (LW: 19 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 17) 24 (NEW) : Tom Goss - More Than Temporary (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 24) 25 (NEW) : David Courtin - Nous deux [Live @ Madame Arthur] (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 25) 26 (- 17) : Tyler Glenn - Midnight (LW: 09 / WO: 16 / PEAK: 01 (x2)) 27 (- 23) : Autoheart - Oxford Blood (LW: 04 / WO: 11 / PEAK: 03) 28 (NEW) : Wilder Daze - 24hr Lover (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 28) 29 (+ 7) : 尚雯婕 Laure Shang -《Single Boy 单身男》(LW: 36 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 05) 30 (NEW) : Gussy - Mornings (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 30) 31 (=) : LP - Lost On You (LW: 31 / WO: 35 / PEAK: 01 (x4)) 32 (- 12) : FLETCHER - Princess (LW: 20 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 20) 33 (- 25) : Placebo - B3 (LW: 08 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 08) 34 (- 13) : Lady Gaga - John Wayne (LW: 21 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 21) 35 (NEW) : Greg Gould - Don't Let Go (Love) [Dom de Sousa Radio Edit] (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 35) 36 (NEW) : Barry Manilow - This Is My Town (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 36) 37 (NEW) : Blondie - Fun (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 37) 38 (- 5) : Fangoria - Espectacular (LW: 33 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 33) 39 (NEW) : Sem&Stènn - The Fair (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 39) 40 (NEW) : Lyon Hart - Delusional (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 40)

ALSO NEW THIS WEEK Sidney Chase - Pajamas PWR BTTM - Big Beautiful Day The 1975 - Loving Someone Jeb Havens - Pushy Little Compass Heart RuPaul feat. Macutchi - Snapshot Łindal - Tonight We Dance VELO - This Time Jan REJFEK - Muž číslo 1 Emily Afton - Golden Mountain MUNA - Loudspeaker (Lyric Video) Amy Grant - Say it With a Kiss (Lyric Video) Brandy Clark - Love Can Go To Hell (Official Lyric Video) Conchita Wurst - Satellite (live @ Unser Song 2017) Adele - Fastlove (live @ Grammys 2017)

See you next week and don’t forget to vote for your best LGBTQA music videos ! Here are the rules : 1 ) You can vote for many videos as you want under the videos on YouTube in the comment section. It could be recent or past music videos, which must provide at least one among the following conditions: - the music video has LGBTQA related content, in the lyrics or the music video - the artist is LGBTQA, an LGBTQA icon or eventually ally - LGBTQA medias talked about it. 2 ) You can’t vote more than 3 songs of a same artist per week. 3 ) In case of an artist who receive votes mostly by a fan base, we will count only one song, in a limited time of 10 weeks of presence in the top. 4 ) You can vote with only one account. 5 ) If you make 10 votes or less, your first vote will represent 10 points, your second vote 9 points, etc… until your tenth vote and following 1 point. If you make 11 to 20 votes, your first vote will represent 20 points, your second vote 19 points, etc… If you make more than 20 votes, your first vote will represent 40 points, your second vote 39 points, etc… 6 ) People who make 1 to 10 votes form the amateur ranking, those who make 11 to 20 votes form the fan ranking, those who make more than 20 votes form the expert ranking. We form the jury ranking. The Gay Music Chart is the addition of the four charts. In case of equality, the number of votes and the dates of votes will count. 7 ) The votes will close on Friday, 8 PM, European time.

@persephotea are just thinking about the Girls(TM) this week and it’s both so much fun and allows Amy to have a character arc that doesn’t end in tragedy in an AU

But also just… hammers home why her story is a tragedy. There is no Lainey in Steelheart canon, no person who is stubbornly by her side for everything, and Butch gets there too late.

She’s already cracked. Already broken in a way he doesn’t know how- and doesn’t really should know how- to fix. And then it gets worse.

She doesn’t get a lot of gentle buffers, but with Lainey she does.

Sunshine will always be the heart of my soul, but the more I developed Amy the longer it hurt my heart she never really got to Get Healthy. To be her entirely own realized person.

But for the first time I’m actually starting to wonder, who is that person? What does is she like? What does true happiness look like for her?

11 Years Ago, Spring of 2266

Amy had known for years this place was a hard town. You didn’t grow up in Vault 101 without getting rough around the edges, but you got through it by keeping your friends close. There was few in the vault she could call that, but Amata had always been a real dame and Freddie was… useful. They were all that stood between crime and true justice in the vault, but not everyone saw it that way. 

Adults never truly understood how tough it got in the classroom and how hard it was to-

“Pssst, Amy! Hey Amy! Can I copy your homework? I forgot to do it last nigh

Summary: Little Amelia stumbles upon several mysteries in the vault, but tonight is the season finale of the Silver Shroud! Will Paulie's dad let him come over? Will Butch ruin it? Detective Amy is on the case! Find out on today's episode of Steelheart!

I'm really excited for this chapter! It's our first proper flashback! If your new I would say that if you wanna read this as a standalone you probably could since it's a flashback into the vault! This coming up a couple days after Death Shroud feels appropriate somehow.

Snippet Sunday?

Tagged by @persephotea (who is back by the way and everyone can and should follow!!!!)

tw: Amy is Sick and her mind is Creative so she's describing her pain fairly viscerally and kinda... treads the line of not quite gore but adjacent. She's also mentally UnWell.

The first thing sensation the Lone Wanderer felt when their consciousness was cruelly dragged out of the watery grave it damned itself to was burning. They couldn’t see, but they could feel their skin was peeling, blistering, and festering as this all-consuming heat burned them from the inside out. They flailed wildly, trying to cool the smoldering flesh, to crawl back into the water that’d given them that dark relieving peace. But there were voices, panicked and with hands that crushed their burning limbs in place. Lights so bright that they blinded the Lone Wanderer, made them wail and cry hot boiling tears that hissed on their burned flesh.

Everything outside of the pain was so hard to grasp. Thoughts of anguish blearily bled with confusion, so exhausted and hurting. Why couldn’t these people let the Lone Wanderer sleep? Why did they call for this wanderer, put hands on blistered skin, and drag them in and out of painful consciousness? Never again truly asleep, never again truly awake. Kept in Limbo-

Limbo. In hell for Sin. That’s where the wanderer was, and this was their punishment.

It was cruel. Unfair. Hadn’t the Lone Wanderer given enough?

They thrashed in their constraints, screamed until their throat was hoarse, cried and cried and cried until the world turned into a haze, and they fell into a restless and cruel slumber.

Hadn’t they given enough?

I FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE UHHHHHH

@bleumanouche ? Hey bud long time no see ;w;

ITS HERE!

It's much more light hearted than the last chapter because 1) drama all the time didn't feel good and 2) because it's to help fill in some gaps between chapters 3 & 5.

It just felt like something was missing? So here we are.

WIP whatever day!!

Literally about to go to the movies with some friends but I had to get some painback @persephotea who tagged me.

This is immediately following tranquility lane.

Scared baby blue eyes, a little older, a little wiser, but still the same eyes that made the shattered pieces dig into her skin. 

Blaring arms and pounding blood. Amata’s scream. The death march in her ears getting louder louder. The world is stained red. Red with anger that burns white hot, red with lights that bathe the room, red with blood that drowns.

Baby blues looking on with horror.

It had all started back then. She’d died the minute she pulled the trigger, and had been reborn into something more violent and awful than she could’ve imagined. Could James still see his little girl? Could Leo still see his older sister?

The rage bled out of her the cool numbness taking over. Sweep the shards into a box, tape it, throw it into the back with all the others. 

Later, later, later.

It always going to be later. For him, for her. 

Later, later, later.

Her grip on his collar slackened. Bone deep exhaustion threatening to pull her under tow, but she had to keep going, had to keep moving. Her hand dropped to her side and she turned away from him. She didn’t want to see, couldn’t see, how he looked at her. Didn’t want to see the scorn, regret, fear. Nothing that would cut the box open, nothing that keep her from moving forward. 

“We’re going.” The little remnants of rage bled into her words and exhaled out, “Your taking Leo with you, and you’re not going to abandon him this time. I don’t care how much that slows down Project Purity. He’s going with you.”

The storm behind the glass isn’t spinning. She can’t even see it anymore. Dull, dull, dull silence with a world reaped of color is being left in it’s place, and she finds that this time she doesn’t have the energy to care. She doesn’t hide her rifle that’s strapped to her back (better that he knows whats she’d had to become), she doesn’t hide the armor (put up the walls, put up the distance), and she doesn’t look. She can’t look.

“Amelia?”

Fragile. She never saw him that way. He was warm, he stood tall in quiet practiced defiance, and his voice was as steady, firm, and gentle as his hand. 

(she’s heard it before, she heard it when the last light of the vault was snuffed out, when Leo came into the world with the first of many tears)

She turned to face him (what a mistake), “What? I thought you wanted to get back to your project. Do you really want to waste more time talking?” Her voice was dull, but the accusation was sharp.

Hurt, hurt, hurt. Baby blues, a little older, a little wiser, stung with pain. It was her fault. It was always her fault. But she watched the wall raise up, watched in horrifying familiarity the growing distance, and all she could think of was Leo.

“I suppose your right. Let’s get going then.”

For the first time in a while, Butch had no fucking clue why he was being marched up to security.

Officer O’Brian had ripped him away from Gloria Mack’s haircut and put cuffs on him for “resisting” (What? He was supposed to walk away from his job?), and was pushed out the door of his own goddamn parlor . 

“You wanna tell me what Hannon wants with me this time?”

O’Brian shrugged, “Doesn’t matter to me. You’re always up to no good.” 

Then the asshole smiled at him all teeth and thinly veiled viciousness 

There was always something vicious and careless about this guy, and for once Butch kept his god damn mouth shut. Not a talent of his, but he wasn’t about to give O’Brian an excuse to smack him around without some supervision. If all of security didn’t have guns before the Lockharts left they sure did now, and Butch wasn’t looking to be their new practice dummy.

When the pneumatic doors slid open to Security he was only a little surprised to see the Overseer in all of his stuck up glory. Hands behind his back like some prissy king. He didn’t even bother looking Butch in the eyes when he walked in. Flanking the Overseer’s right was Chief Hannon, who one-upped the dick by glaring daggers at Butch.

‘The fuck is he doing that for?’

O’Brian shoved Butch down onto a steel chair he’d been in countless times before and tried locking his arms behind him in the cuffs. There was no way in hell Butch was letting that happen.

WIP Monday??

I do believe @persephotea tagged me for a WIP day and I didn't have anything so... now here we are. When I actually have something. Very rough, mostly me trying to get some thoughts down of a scene I've had on my mind for a while!

Tagging.... @sirmanmister and @bleumanouche but no pressure!

The kitchen chairs had been pushed over, yellow and blue paint chipping in flakes, and pillows were strewn across the ground fluff bulging out of the places they were ripped, but Amelia was nowhere near done with her rampage. She wrapped her pudgy little hands around the crystal glass vase her mama had always kept flowers in, the petals wilted and the water gross with mold, and aimed it at the window.

Beatrice grabbed her wrist, frantic, “Amelia- sweetie- it’s not good to throw things, sweetheart- your brother will wake-” 

What did she care about him?! He was the reason her mom was dead! It was his fault!

She ripped out of the older woman’s hold and howled in her face, “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM. YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” She smashed the vase against the ground, unaware that she should move out of the way of the shards of glass. The debris shot past her and cut her soft cheeks and faded blue jumpsuit legs.

Beatrice screamed and jumped back, stumbling into the fallen furniture, and the baby started crying in her bedroom. 

Her cheek stung and she touched her cheek and stared dumbfounded at the smear of crimson on her fingers. Why did it hurt so much?

“What on EARTH is going on in here?” Daddy was suddenly in the doorway, red in the face, with Amata hiding scared behind him.

Beatrice scrambled and practically threw herself at James, “I-I don’t know what’s wrong with her! One minute she was fine and the next she-she was wrecking the place! I tried to stop her Dr. Lockhart but-”

She stomped her foot, “Th-th-thats n-not t-true-” Amelia was hiccupping through her words while big fat tears rolled down her cheeks. She was wailing now just like that dumb baby. And they weren’t even listening to her. Why weren’t they listening to her?

Amata quietly stepped through the grownups and grabbed Amelia’s hand, “C’mon… the glass is dangerous.” Amelia could only nod dumbly as she rubbed at her eyes. She sat them down on the couch and wrapped her arms around Amelia.

James half-heartedly tried to calm Beatrice while he navigated through the fallout of Amelia’s rampage. He pointed emphatically to Amelia making her flinch, “We’ll talk about your behavior later young lady. Thank you, Beatrice. I’ll take it from here.”

“Thank you, Dr. Lockhart. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I know it must be hard raising such an unruly young girl after-”

“Good day, Beatrice.”

🛌 take a nap with yours

(I totally reblogged this with no idea of how this ask game works so take this! Also, for the sake of some fun drama and actual narrative the Dads die in the purifier still.)

Amy had always hated naps. From preschool to graduation, Amy had refused naps no matter how exhausted she was and it'd been the bane of everyone's existence. She couldn't help it, she just didn't get it. She'd even fought her dad on bedtime up until she was eleven-years-old when she got good at pretending to listen to him. Sleep and Amy had never gotten along. Which was why she was embarrassed to admit how easily she'd been corralled into snuggles and nap time with Lainey as nineteen-year-old young adult.

Amy had tried to put up a fight, brush Lainey off and tell her everything was fine, but the shorter girl was just as stubborn and twice as cute. What was Amy supposed to do? Say no? When Lainey was doing that pout that made Amy's head short circuit. The one that Lainey had unknowingly been using their entire lives to wrap Amy around her pretty little finger? Amy was exhausted from days of not sleeping and when Lainey dragged her into the shower for a totally-platonic-and-not-sexually-charged-scrub down she was melting into the other girls touch. Like sweet electricity on her skin. Water washing away the blood, grime, and sins of her wasteland travels- travels she'd kept Lainey out of the loop of. She could see she wanted to ask about the scars and scrapes. About which blood was Amy's and if not hers then whos- but even if Lainey's eyes wandered her big mouth stayed blessedly shut. It was only temporary. Amy knew that, but she'd take the little mercies.

Lainey wrapped her up in their fluffiest towel and combed out Amy's wild mange of hair, and when Amy was nodding off under her touch, Lainey pulled her into a tight snuggle. She buried Amy's face in her chest and stroked her hair, and Amy was too tired for her face to burn. She drank in the sweet cinnamon of her best friend and let herself finally sleep.

Amy woke up in a dreamy haze, starlight peaking through in pinpricks through the skylight above, the desk fan whirred lazily while radio played softly in the other room. Lainey's arms were curled protectively around Amy, even as she snored. Was it wrong to stare while she was sleeping? Could it really hurt?

Amy had come to terms with her feelings only recently, only when Lainey was there to help pick up pieces of their life with her and keep Amy from diving off the deep end, but it felt as natural as breathing. She loved Lainey. She'd always loved Lainey. Through the dumb fights and late night giggles, the two of them had always had each other's backs no matter what, so how couldn't she love her?

Her stomach was full of butterflies and her heart beating hard but full in her chest as she took in every little scar, freckle, and detail of her best friend's face. It was dangerous to be this close, to allow herself this little selfishness, because Amy knew that the longer she looked the more she wanted her. And she couldn't- there was no way Lainey felt the same. She was in love with Butch, Amy's other best friend, and it was going to be the two of them as soon as Butch came out of the vault. Amy had no right to want Lainey like this.

Memories of stolen kisses in a dark closet, the safety and courage that it brought, surface to the front of her mind. Her faze flickered over those chapped pink lips and her heart hammered harder.

'Could I...?'

Lainey snorted loudly in her sleep and Amy buried her face in the pillow. Maybe she should just go back to sleep.

3 for your oc

Oh wow! This is sweet of you. I hadn’t meant for it to be an ask meme but I won’t turn down the opportunity ✨ I’m assuming you meant Amy? I think I’ll throw the others in here if you don’t mind c:

The prompt for anyone who missed it:

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go?

Amy

I think the first and easiest answer would be nuka cola. She uses it to stay awake because she doesn’t like sleeping/won’t sleep when there’s something to get done. She gets really bad at indulging herself and this is the only “guilty pleasure” she can afford herself. Eventually, she indulges herself on art supplies, but only after other people push her to. She won’t let herself have it at first, but she misses creating art so much that she gives in after she gets her leather journal. Otherwise, all her most expensive purchases are supplies for survival: bullets, stimpacks, water, food, etc.

Sunshine

Sunny has so much money and she loves spending it, and being in New Vegas there’s a lot of places to spend it. However, as much as she loves to indulge herself, her love language is gift-giving which means she spends A LOT of money on other people. There’s the common thing of a pretty new dress for Veronica, good spirits for Cass, etc etc. but actually. It’s more like, “oh this is cause you care about? How about I donate thousands of caps to it?” Sunny loves spending lots of money and she loves spending on people she loves and admires.

Mae

Prewar? Plants, wine, and model kits. This is all things she does to relax and unwind. She loves gardening, nurturing the little plants is very fulfilling and relaxing for her, especially after being stuck in a lab for so much time of the week. With wine, she loves a good dry red, and she will drop the money for Good wine. Model kits: she has the green gridded mat, the exact knife, all the paints, small brushes, etc. as well as buying what she needs to build the models themselves. I’m not sure what the models are of since gundam isn’t a thing in Fallout…? And she is super anti military so it wouldn’t be anything associated with that…

Post-war… she doesn’t really spend a lot money. Not really to be frugal, but because there’s very little she cares to spend it on that isn’t resources. If she wants an indulgence, it’s usually found while out in the Commonwealth on a mission that she allows herself to take home with her.

After consulting my partner, they’ve absolutely murdered me with this hard truth: noodles. Takahashi’s noodles aren’t expensive, but almost all her disposable income goes to ramen noodles there. Her husband grew up and worked at a ramen shop, and would make it for the family all the time. It’s her little piece of him, of home, that she gives herself every chance she gets.

Thank you again for this! It was a lot of fun! 😄

asdfghjkl;'

IDK WHY TRYING TO SHARE AUTO DID CHAPTER 1 AND NOTHING ELSE BUT WE'RE DOING GREAT BOYS.

Anyway please check it out <3

OCs as horror tropes

Tagged by @bleumanouche !! c:

Quiz

Amy (and it couldn’t be more accurate)

Amy IS the final girl. 100% correct 10/10 no notes.

And then also Sunshine

I love this for Sunny right after she wakes up from being shot. Not for all of her, but definitely that phase of her life.

Taggin… @persephotea @twin-nebula @bluegrasskitty @sirmanmister

It's up babes 👀 (with the new Steelheart banner!)

Felt like I was in a mood to think about how Amy would feel about the growing romance between Butch & Lainey in our LW wanderer AU <3 @persephotea take this small silly treat

Amy was bouncing her leg hard enough that her desk was starting to rattle. Mr. Brotch looked back at her a couple times with an arch brow, but something on her face made him keep his thoughts to himself. Amata - and Freddie - didn't feel so charitable. She tried to stop, really, she did, but anytime she saw Butch giving Lainey those big ol' doe eyes when he thought no one was looking it made her want to snap her pencil.

When Lainey had started tutoring him she'd been worried. Not the Butch would try anything weird, but that he'd be a dipshit. Now Lainey was looking at him like blushy cheeks and baby doll eyes and- and she wasn't saying a word to Amy about it. Both her and Amata kept asking, but Lainey's lips were sealed.

Amy dug her pencil onto the page of the essay and tried really really hard to not be pissed off about it. What Lainey did on her own time was none of her damn business and Lainey wanted to keep secrets now than whoop-di-fucking doo. Good for her.

Someone tapped her shoulder and Amy turned to fund a marker being handed to her, big brown eyes that smiled at the corners. Lainey had leaned over, smelling like cinnamon & coffee, and her heart skipped a bit Amy looked at it warily.

"Brotch still hasn't given you the colors back?"

Amy was scowling back (she knew she shouldn't, she could hear her Dad reprimanding her) but took the marker anyway, "I'm on a two-week probation. Apparently 'the bard's work isn't for doodling'." Amy rolled her eyes, "I don't get what's so great about Romeo and Juliet anyway-"

A ruler rapped against her desk, "Lockhart, Watson. Care to share with the class?"

They both straightened up in their seat instinctively, but Amy's mouth was faster than her brain, "I mean I could, but I don't think you'd like it." She bit her tongue.

'Damn it.' She could hear Butch and the other snakes snickering on the other side of class and it made her want to punch something.

"Please, go ahead."

If it had been any other day she would've shut her mouth and apologized (probably), but having all these eyes on her made her skin crawl and she was so tired of Butch's shit. "I don't see what's so great about Romeo and Juliet."

"Lockhart-"

"Why is the best love story ever written? They don't love each other- they barely know each other! Romeo was in love with someone else at the start of the story, whose to say he would've been any better to Juliet had they actually lived? It's just sad, not romantic. It shouldn't be seen as a love story, but instead what happens when-"

Brotch cut her off, "I'm glad to see you were actually paying attention to some of the lecture, but next time-" he plucked the marker out of her hand, "-try applying that to your behavior, please."

Amy slumped into her seat and propped her chin in her hand feeling all of those hot sparks flying and nowhere to put it. She zoned out the rest of the lecture feeling like moments from flying off the handle, and was going to stalk off to practice when a warm hand grabbed hers.

"Amy! Wait up!"

Cinnamon and coffee.

She felt her cheeks ignite.

God I’m still trying to figure out how to write genderqueer repressed Amy. When thoughts are just so… subconscious that they’re feelings she doesn’t put a name to until she’s [SPOILERS] how do I describe it? How do I let the reader know when Amy doesn’t?

All I for so far is: Make a bunch of characters Bethesda definitely intended to be cis be genderqueer/trans instead, make her befriend them, and make her feel weird when called a woman/girl.

Maybe that’s fine? Maybe that’s enough? Amy isn’t intended to fully explore gender, that’s [SPOILERS] but god damn it.

I want to express it NOW.