#lottie matthews x fem reader angst
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fallingforyou (3)
// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //
warnings: asshole!lottie, sweet!reader, pining, mutual pining, oblivious!reader, hints of underage drinking, lowkey jealous lottie if you squint, lottie is an idiot
(this is part 3, you can read part 2 here, and part 1 here)
on this night and in this light (i think i’m falling)
“don’t you think we should be, i don’t know, actually working?” lottie questions sardonically, and you turn your head to scowl at her from where you’re laying on the rug in your room. a new episode of sabrina the teenage witch was playing and you were excitedly watching it. “shut up! sabrina is talking!” you hiss warningly, causing the yellowjackets sweeper to roll her eyes in annoyance, while you turn your gaze back to the tv. “why didn’t you tell me you were going to be doing this the whole time? i would’ve just gone home.” it’s a blatant lie, but you don’t know that, and lottie doesn’t want to tell you otherwise.
you scoff, “yeah, sure. after the way you acted when i cancelled yesterday? you’re stuck here now.” the comment is supposed to annoy lottie, but it doesn’t. it doesn’t annoy her at all, the thought of being stuck here with you. lottie blinks rapidly, trying to shove that thought so far away, she’ll never have to deal with it again. “you don’t like sabrina?” you ask, gesturing to the tv, and lottie shakes her head. “i don’t really watch tv.” she mutters her response, making you furrow your brows and laugh lightly. “seriously? aren’t your parents loaded? i thought you’d have a huge theater where you watch all your favorite shows and movies.” you tease her, causing her to glower in your direction.
“you thought wrong.” she retorts, but there’s something in her tone that you can’t quite place. you can sense the shift in demeanor, but you don’t press the subject. lottie is like an animal you’re trying to tame. she could snap at any moment for any reason. you know lottie is like this for a reason; you can’t help but wonder if maybe her mother is just as angry as her. or perhaps her father has a temper. “well, either way… it’s been kind of nice having you over.” you start cautiously, and lottie looks over at you; her tenebrous gaze meeting yours.
“i just mean, i get lonely sometimes even though i’m here with my siblings all the time. it’s nice to have someone to spend time with.” you ramble, and lottie’s eyes seem to soften in a way you’ve never seen before. “i like being here with you too.” lottie says before she can think twice, taking not only herself by surprise, but you as well. a faint blush creeps onto your face, and lottie takes in how pretty you are. before either of you can say anything else, your older sister barges through your bedroom door, causing you to jump.
lottie looks annoyed at the intrusion, and she sends a scowl the older girls way. elise stares at you for a moment, furrowing her brows as she notices how flushed your cheeks are. she can nearly feel the tension in the room. “mom said dinners ready. she served your friend a plate.” the eighteen year old comments, flashing you a knowing look. you nod, “okay! be there in a minute.” you aimlessly respond, trying to keep your eyes away from your sisters. you do everything to stop blushing but it doesn’t seem to work. elise reluctantly leaves without saying anything else, and lottie clears her throat.
“i feel bad your mom has been setting an extra plate for me. i didn’t even ask if it was okay…” lottie trails off, insecurity laced throughout her tone. you shake your head quickly in protest, “my mom likes you! she thinks your nice, and she doesn’t mind.” you assure her, “besides, my dad always works super late so he never eats with us. there’s always an extra seat.” you ramble a bit, and lottie feels a bunch of mini starbursts in her chest; going off rapidly one by one. she swallows thickly, “thanks.” she doesn’t know what else to say and internally cringes at her response. you get up, flashing her a little grin that causes her belly to flip in an uncomfortable way.
“come on, matthew’s, before my mom gets pissed.” you taunt, waiting for her to get up from her seat on your bed. she follows you out of your room, chuckling slightly, “i can’t imagine your mom angry. she’s so tiny.” lottie makes you giggle, “trust me, she can be terrifying. have you ever heard that shorter people are more likely be evil because they’re close to hell?” your retort sounds serious, which makes it even more hilarious, and lottie can’t help but burst out laughing. you giggle as well, and you don’t even realize elise and your mother are staring at you both with inscrutable looks.
you and lottie aimlessly take a seat beside each other, and lottie smiles at your mother. “thank you, mrs. l/n. this smells delicious.” she says politely, and your mom offers her a smile. “you’re welcome, sweetheart. it’s carne asada, beans, and rice, y/n’s favorite.” she admits, and elise snickers, “basics just like her.” the older girl chimes in, and sabrina giggles while you flush. lottie looks at you, and she can’t stop thinking about how pretty you look when you blush. surely she’s notice how pretty you were before, but she can’t remember ever thinking about it. elise is the only one who is aware of the way lottie is looking at you.
“so mom… maria invited me to a get together at her sorority house. can i go after dinner?” elise asks hopefully, and your mom gets this skeptical look on her face. “a get together? at a sorority house?” she questions uncertainly, obviously not buying it. “yeah! it’s just a few of the girls! please mom?” the oldest teen asks, putting on her best puppy eyes. lisa quirks a brow challengingly, “then you wouldn’t mind taking y/n with you?” she asks, smiling in a condescending way. she obviously seems to know elise will refuse to bring you along. your eyes widen at the same time elise’s do.
“me!?”
“her!?”
you both respond to your mother at the same time, and lisa nods simply. “if it’s a get together, then you should have no problem with taking your sister. besides, when was the last time you two did anything together?” the older woman asks, and a glower etches itself onto elise’s features. “why can’t i go too!?” sabrina asks, pouting and clearly upset. “because you’re failing english, and need to study.” lisa pointedly responds, and elise huffs. “fine. i’ll take her, but she’s gonna be complaining the whole time!”
your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline, and you protest quickly. “i don’t wanna go! it’s friday night, and the last thing i wanna do is spend it with elise and a bunch of her weird friends!” you flash your mom a pair of begging eyes, “please don’t make me go.” lottie commends your mother for having the willpower to go against those eyes because damn, she feels her resolve slipping and the peculiar need to step in and protect you kicks in. “i can go with you guys. just so you’re not stuck there alone.” lottie offers, and your head turns to gaze at her.
you blink a few times, clearly confused as to why lottie matthew’s would want to spend a friday night with you. “but didn’t you get invited to becky martin’s bonfire?” you inquire, and lottie shrugs, “i wasn’t gonna go to that anyways.” she lies, but you seem to believe her because you flash her a grateful expression, “i mean if you really wanna be stuck with elise’s friends all night, then sure.” you half joke, making your older sister scoff. “my friends aren’t that bad! i mean at least i have more than three, unlike you!” she hisses, and you roll your eyes.
“ever heard of quality over quantity?” you sardonically retort, making lottie chuckle. elise narrows her eyes at you, “you’re so lucky moms forcing me to bring you.” she mutters, as she continues eating.
after dinner you and lottie head back to your room, and you’re a bit quieter than usual. “you don’t have to go just for my expense, you know? i know you were planning on being at that bonfire tonight.” you say softly, and lottie tenses up as you call her out. there’s no malice or anger in your tone, but lottie frowns. “if i wanted to go to that bonfire i would. i’m hanging with you tonight.” she responds adamantly, and the way you smile washes all of her doubts away.
“okay then, i guess i’ll start getting ready. you already look pretty, but we can stop by your house if you want to change?” you suggest and lottie shrugs, trying to ignore the sensations inside of her that she gets when you call her pretty. “i’ll just go like this. i mean, it’s just a bunch of elise’s lame friends. they’re probably just gonna talk about books and stuff.” she jokes, and you giggle, making her stomach get all knotted up again. god, she really hates that feeling.
throughout the entire way to the sorority house, lottie can’t help but occasionally steal a few glances at you. you had decided to wear a pair of tight black flare jeans, and a cropped fur coat that apparently belongs to elise. lottie wasn’t used to seeing you outside of your usual school clothes. you’d mostly wear jeans and sweaters; hiding every part of yourself. though tonight lottie had a hard time keeping her eyes off you. as soon as elise pulls into the parking lot of the campus, you can hear loud music in the distance.
your confusion only seems to grow as the music gets louder, the closer to the sorority house you all get. finally, your steps begin to falter when you realize you’re approaching a house with a few drunk students outside. someone was laying on the grass, and another person was holding her friends hair while she threw up in a bush. “elise this is not a get together! this is a frat party!” you exclaim angrily, as a large guy drunkenly stumbles past you guys. elise actually looks guilty for a moment, but the expression is quickly replaced by an angry one. “that’s why i didn’t want you to come! god, mom treats me like i’m a fucking kid! i’m eighteen; i should be allowed to have some fun.” she snaps, and you sigh.
“you should’ve just been honest with me. or snuck out like a normal person your age! now i’m stuck here!” you begin to argue with the older girl, who huffs in response. “yeah, cause being at a college frat party is every seventeen year olds worst nightmare. seriously, y/n, when was the last time you were even invited to a party?” elise sardonically asks, and you frown. “i’ve been to parties!” you internally cringe at how stupid you sound, and even lottie knows you’re lying. she’s only ever seen you at one party before, and even then you had left early.
elise shakes her head in dismay, “i bet you wouldn’t even know what to do at a place like this.” she challenges, and lottie frowns when she sees the determination on your features. “well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” you provoke her back, suddenly thinking about those new shoes you’ve been wanting for a month. elise lights up, and lottie thinks it’s the first time she’s ever seen her look so excited as she talks to you. “fine. if you can get a guy or two to dance with you, and actually let loose… i’ll buy you anything you want from the mall. under a hundred and twenty bucks.” she says and you nod in agreement. “deal.” you confirm, holding your hand out for your sister to shake.
lottie gets a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as the three of you walk into the sorority house. immediately lottie is alert and aware of how many people there are in here; how crowded and dim-lit the house is. losing you here would be easy, and it’d take lottie forever to find you. elise ditches you as soon as she sees her friends, and lottie hates that she’s thinking about what it’d be like if she didn’t come. you’d be stuck here, alone.
“at least they’re playing good music.” you comment, noticing an upbeat spanish song was playing. lottie’s cheeks turn a shade of crimson red as she flushes timidly. “i failed spanish class last year… i think i’m doing really bad in french too this year.” she reveals and you let out this tinkling laugh that causes her to stare at you. she takes in how you look under this lighting; your hair was clipped back in a half updo, but it was still curled in this carefree way that made lottie think you looked absolutely beautiful. she glances away, trying to think of anything but that.
“it’s okay, i suck at french. i only passed spanish class because it was my first language.” you tell her, and she smiles at the admission, “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to learn another language, it’s like my head just can’t grasp anything other than english. spanish is sexy though.” lottie blurts out, and you raises your eyebrows in a bit of amusement as her cheeks burn in humiliation. she has no idea why she just said that.
“here you go pretty ladies. you two look like you needed a drink.” a deep voice intervenes, as you look to see a tall frat boy handing you both cups. lottie speaks before you can even think about it, grabbing your hand, and grasping it firmly. her grip sends a jolt of electricity down your body, and you lose all train of thought as soon as she touches you. “we’re good, thanks though.” she says in that usual not-so-kind voice before pulling you away. “hey! i’m supposed to be getting guys like that to dance with me if i want to win the bet!” you argue, pouting as lottie begins to look for the drink station. she rolls her eyes, making a face of clear disdain at the fact that you’re actually going through with elise’s stupid challenge.
“you’re not seriously going to try and win that stupid bet, are you?” lottie gives you the third degree as she questions you, and you frown at her tone. you aren’t really sure why she sounds so upset. “well, yeah, i mean i want some new shoes and it’s an easy win. how hard can it be to get a few college dudes to dance with me?” you ask uncertainly, and lottie only seems more and more annoyed as you explain yourself. “these guys don’t just wanna dance with you, y/n. they’re all here looking to get laid.” she states, the contemptuousness in her voice causes something inside of your abdomen to tingle.
“obviously i’m not going to let them do that, matthew’s.” you respond as you both come to a stop at the drink station. lottie scoffs as she begins to make your drinks, refusing to answer you anymore. you frown, “you’re such an ass.” you mutter, only adding to her annoyance. she shoots daggers at you with her eyes, “me?? because i don’t want some gross college guy trying anything with you?” she sounds serious, and you can’t help but let your frustration wash away as you realize she’s just worried about you.
“if i didn’t know any better i’d think you’re actually starting to care about me.” you say carefully, as lottie hands you a cup of cranberry vodka. “yeah well, good thing you know better.” she murmurs, and before you can get another word out, an older guy approaches you both. “hey, i’m chris.” he introduces himself, flashing you a shy smile. “y/n.” you respond back, and lottie tries to hide the obvious distaste towards him while he eats you up with his eyes. “do you maybe wanna dance, y/n?” he asks hopefully and you’re about to say yes, when you remember lottie’s obvious indifference towards the bet.
“no, i’m okay. i’m here with someone else.” you simply respond, and the look of disappointment and humiliation etches itself onto his face. “oh, yeah. cool. i’m sorry. i’ll see you around then.” he quickly apologizes before rushing away in the opposite direction. lottie looks at you, visibly befuddled as to why you would turn him down. you shrug at her reaction, taking a sip of your drink, “i can always just blackmail elise into getting me the shoes. she’s not even supposed to be here, let alone have me here. moms gonna flip.” you laugh lightly and suddenly a sense of relief courses throughout the raven haired girl.
she isn’t sure why she was upset at the thought of you dancing with some other guy. the mere thought of some seedy dudes hands on you made her blood boil for reasons she didn’t understand.
it isn’t until lottie is laying in bed later that night; the image of your pretty smile and eyes are the only thing that she can see when she closes her eyes, that she realizes what this is. lottie matthew’s isn’t stupid; she’s aware of what’s happening… she just doesn’t want to admit it. because just last month lottie hated you; now she couldn’t get you out of her head. she was falling fast and she wasn’t sure if she could stop.
#lottie mathews x reader#lottie x reader#lottie x fem reader angst#lottie matthews angst#lottie matthews x you#lottie matthews x y/n#lottie yellowjackets#yellowjackets#lottie matthews x fem reader#lottie matthews x fem reader angst#lottie matthews x reader#lottie matthews icons#lottie matthews
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character's i write for
welcome to my list of characters where i have many of them from many fandoms that i write for
requests: temporarily closed
main masterlist
yellowjackets (shauna shipman, jackie taylor, lottie matthews, taissa turner, van palmer, nat scatorccio, laura lee, callie sadecki)
dc titans (dick grayson, jason todd, kory anders, gar logan, donna troy, dawn granger, hank hall)
fear street (deena johnson, sam fraser, ziggy berman, cindy berman, kate schmidt, alice hart, simon kalivoda, tommy slater, young!nick goode)
teen wolf (scott mccall, stiles stilinski, isaac lahey, malia tate, kira yukimura, lydia martin, liam dunbar)
scream (sam carpenter, tara carpenter, chad meeks martin, mindy meeks martin, wes hicks, quinn bailey)
miscellaneous: maeve rojas (one of us is lying), leighton murray (the sex lives of college girls), kit walker (american horror story), miguel diaz (cobra kai), brooke davis (one tree hill), maeve wiley & ruby matthews (sex education), kate bishop (hawkeye), any of hailee steinfeld's characters tbh, jeremiah fisher (the summer i turned pretty), roronoa zoro (one piece live action)
another thing i'd like to add, i wouldn't mind writing poly ships x reader like dickkory, jackieshauna, stalia, sameena, lottienat, jaygar, etc. (or a poly ship with crossover characters like dick grayson & kate bishop for example)
i will write for fluff, angst, and maybe smut (there's only so much i am comfortable with though) if you ask nicely. and i only write for fem & gn readers
and as a reminder, you guys can request for the following fandoms for oneshots, headcanons, or just sending your fluffy or horny thoughts in my inbox (i don't judge)
#yellowjackets x reader#titans x reader#dc titans x reader#fear street x reader#teen wolf x reader#scream x reader#lottie matthews x reader#dick grayson x reader#natalie scatorccio x reader#jason todd x reader#isaac lahey x reader#sam carpenter x reader#jackie taylor x reader#tara carpenter x reader#stiles stilinski x reader#jaiden writes things
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im sorry.
a/n: bro I was literally listening to Laufey and some TV girl the whole time, THEN THIS CHAOS CAME OUT OF IT- (yippe!! Bc I can’t be bothered making a pt 2 of Double trouble SO YOUR GONNA HAVE TO THINK THAT THROUGH- ) btw this isn’t proofread SOOO—
characters: shauna!shipman x fem!reader
characters used to speak: natalie!scatorccio , taissa!turner , lottie!matthews
Warning: angst? , violence, fights, breakdowns, ending up with fluff??? , blood???
summary: POST-CRASH BTW reader getting caught cheating on shauna at the nature retreat. (WITH LOTTIE 😭)
It’s been a while since you and Shauna really did anything.. you two both got together after Jackie’s death, and then you’ve been looking after her and the baby.
Until recently when Shauna gave birth, the baby didn’t make it. Leading Shauna into heartbreak for a while, she didn’t talk to anyone besides you and Taissa, sometimes Van and Nat.
You’d just hold her whenever you both finished doing your work for the day. Just sitting in the attic, with shauna laying between your legs while you two just lay there in silence before drifting to sleep in each others arms..
But now here you are, at the nature retreat. Shauna was still asleep in the cabin, and she always refused going to them.. she didn’t want you to go there either just incase Lottie’s “wilderness bullshit” got to your mind. And it did.. ending up with Lottie pressed against you at the back of the cabin while everyone else was doing their own stuff after the nature retreat.
Lottie had her hands gently cupping your face, as she pulls you close into the kiss. It lasted a moment before you pulled away, trying to catch her breath.
“Lottie stop- this isn’t right.. it’s not fair on me- it’s not fair on Shauna..” you try to speak, only to be shushed with Lotties lips being crashed back into yours.
“No, it’s okay.. the wilderness wants us to. It wants us to Y/N, it needs to be satisfied.” She whispers, her tone in voice was hushed.. but gentle.
Feeling the amount of guilt all you could do was sigh, and nod.. before giving in. Letting lottie kiss you, this time a bit softer as she lifts you off the ground, pushing you against the wall while your legs wrap around her waist. Until you hear something drop with a loud thud. Both you and Lottie pull away, your eyes widen as a rush of guilt spreads in your chest.
Shauna was staring at the two of you, a mixture of Betrayal, rage, and hurt flooded her eyes. All she did was just run back to the cabin, leaving the logs in the snow. You end up pushing Lottie off yourself before chasing after Shauna.
“Shauna wait!” You shout, Shauna doesn’t stop, she continues to walk.
She ends up going into the cabin, pushing past Taissa. You stop in your tracks when you almost bump into her.
“God, what is that about Y/N?” Tai looks at you with confusion.
“Not the right time now Tai, something happened between Shauna and- and I just want to make sure she’s okay..” you try to move past Taissa until she grabs you by your shoulder, causing you to stop in your tracks.
“Let her be, she looks like she doesn’t want to be bothered, let alone talked to.. so I suggest just giving her some time to cool off?” She says, nudging you back on the path like a neglected cat, getting kicked out of its house for scratching up the sofa.
You look at the floor, before nodding.
“Alright, your right.. I’ll probably just go find Natalie and help out with more chores.” you mumble, before looking back at Taissa.
Tai nods in agreement.
“Sounds good, atta girl Y/N.” she pats you on the back before walking off, probably either going to find Van or do some work.
And that’s what you do, it’s now probably almost dark when you and Nat walk back to the cabin. But that’s when you hear it, shouting. Both you and Natalie run into the cabin in time to see Shauna hook Misty right in the face.
“What the fuck is going on?!” Natalie raises her voice, before pulling Misty away from Shauna. “You killed my fucking baby!” She screams. Van trying to pull Shauna away.
“You all fucking ate my baby! I saw you were all covered in blood!” Shauna continues to yell. Trying to fight Van off her. She ends up biting Van, causing her to cry out.. letting Shauna go, Shauna was about to attack Misty, until Lottie steps infront of Shauna, you stare at the two of them.. going silent.
Lottie stares at Shauna before speaking. “Shauna, we need you. We need you to let it out Shauna.” She says softly.
Before you could even blink. Shauna was beating the living shit out of Lottie, the taller girl was on the ground, getting kicked and stomped on by your own girlfriend.. or maybe ex..? Everyone didn’t do anything, they either just stared or looked away at the mess. After a while Shauna gets exhausted. Pulling away from the fucked up faced girl you see laying on the floor. She makes her way up, staring down at Lottie.
“Lottie.” She says coldly, no sign of remorse in her voice. It took a little while until Lottie coughed up blood, then started to breathe once again. Shauna then stomped her way outside, you followed her outside.. making sure she doesn’t end up freezing. You open the door, causing Shauna to snap a glance at you. Before scoffing, turning back around to look at the snow.
“Listen.. about today..”
“What about today? After finding out my own girlfriend was caught having a make out session with Lottie fucking Matthews?God Y/N, I fucking hate you!!” She interrupts you, her voice was raising.
“It’s not what you think.. I didn’t know what happened.. it all happened so quick!” You shout, causing you both to argue. But it ends up with Shauna sobbing out her frustrations. She started to hit the wooden pillar, it didn’t damage the wood.. but more of her hands.
You wouldn’t just stand by and watch her hurt herself. You quickly grab her hands pulling her close as you crouch down besides her on the steps. Letting Shauna sob in your shoulder.
“I hate you.. I hate you..” she sobs silently in your shoulder. “You’re a cheating.. bitch.” She mumbles. Hitting you on your back tiredly. It only felt like a tap to you. You hold her close.
“You don’t mean that darling..but I still deserve it. ” you mumble, patting her back softly. It felt like knives in shaunas heart as she starts to sob even more in your shoulder.
“… I don’t..” she sniffles. Shaunas hits gets more softer.. and softer.. to the point she gets tired. Shauna goes quiet. Allowing you both to just lay there, her in your arms.
You both go quiet, holding her as she ends up falling asleep in your arms. her arm wrapping around your waist while her free hand is holding onto yours as you look down at her bruised knuckles.
After a moment of silent, you end up carrying her.. into the cabin. ( she’s taller than you- wtf? masc!reader that you? )
The other girls eyes meeting yours then shaunas, by the looks of it, Lottie was taken to the attic.. with Misty watching over her. You set Shauna down on her blanket. No one felt like speaking for the rest of the night.. featuring what they all just witnessed. It all ended with Shauna asleep besides you.. and your girlfriend back.
Don’t worry guys lottie is okay!! ⬇️⬇️
#yellowjackets#shauna shipman#shauna shipman x reader#wlw#angst with a happy ending#taissa turner#misty quigley#van palmer#natalie scatorccio#lottie matthews x reader
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Hi, I hope you are well, I fell in love with Nat's one-shot, so I was encouraged to ask for a request, well there are two that come to my head with different characters.
"Wow, you really never got out of your angsty teenage stage, did you?" with Teen Shauna (sorry it's just that you see those eyes and they bring back a lot of melancholy).
"Please tell me you didn't hold on to that all these years" with Lottie (1996) and Lottie (2021). I think with this one you can play with flashbacks of seeing what happened in the desert and their relationship in that timeline in 1996 as a reunion in 2021 somewhat angsty.
Sorry the request is so long, although I would like to add that I can imagine both requests with f reader, anyway thank you very much for everything, take your time and take care of yourself. ❤️
💚Flower stems for heartstrings - Lottie Matthews (1996 & 2021) x fem!Reader💚
Fanfiction master list
disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately
Summary: y/n finds evidence of her teenage best friend (and secret crush) being alive after all, and a possible way of finding her thanks to modern internet and goes on a personal quest to find her and the truth, all while reminiscing about their teen years...
Warnings: Internalized homophobia, fem reader that dresses both "masc" and "fem", underage drinking and smoking weed, extremely angst but with a good ending
Word Count: 8,758
A/N: woohoo! We've surpassed word count on my longest oneshot with this fic, the record previously being 6,990. And ngl, this might be one of my favorites to date! Lottie is an extra special gal who deserves an extra long one-shot, so of course I'm going to give her extra attention. What can I say, I'm not immune to favoritism. This one was actually so fun! I loved getting to write about excited, young (and medicated, let's be fr) Lottie bc I think we forget just how much the wilderness took a toll on her. She was so lively before, it makes me so sad. But, I hope I was able to give her a little bit of that liveliness back in this fic! I think in the request "desert" was supposed to be wilderness, but I wanted to have the reader be left behind, which adds a whole different kind of angst to the situation. As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading!💚
Lottie Matthews Tag List:
General Tag List: @summergeezburr
-💚-
You’d only ever felt the way you did now only twice before in your life. Once when word got around that flight 2525 had mysteriously gone down in flames with no trace, and once again when you learned she’s been shipped off to god knows where for some kind of treatment. You hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye to her then and she was gone.
It was a sickly green feeling that had you kneeling over with weak knees and a stone throat. Lottie Matthews, the girl you’d had your heart set on for all of these years, wasn’t gone. She wasn’t locked away or dead like gossip has always said. She was alive and well and looked like she was thriving. And how did you find this out? Through Instagram, of course. That might have been the worst part of all of this.
One minute you’re mindlessly scrolling through your feed when an ad for a farmers market in some part of upstate New York, rather than New Jersey where you resided. But the ad featured a booth selling honey, and low and behold, there she was. Well, the photo didn’t give a clear picture of her face, but you refused to deny that it was her, despite how it made you sick. How could you forget that smile of hers after all?
You had to put your phone away after that, but it didn’t help you sleep. A few hours into staring up at the ceiling, restless with gnawing curiosity, you decided sleep wouldn’t come till you found an answer. Rather spontaneously you packed a bag and got into your car. Was this the smartest thing to do? Hell no, but you had the weekend off for work anyways, and nothing stopped you from going, so you drove through the nightstand into the morning and drove by coffee, a podcast, and the straining urge that you needed to know what was going on.
-💚-
At some point in the night, you found your mind wandering as your eyes trained on the empty highway before you, highlighted by your headlights. You reminisce a time long before, even more than 25 years ago. Back when you had been a freshman in high school during your lunch period. You moved to Wiskayok, New Jersey late in the year, giving you an even later start to your first year of high school. You’d relatively been left alone and had decided you'd be alright with that. Not everyone can have friends right? So, alone you sat outside on the school's field, picking at the grass underfoot having already finished your lunch.
Some students around you sat on the track or the stadium's bleachers with their friends, enjoying company and comradery or whatever and you didn’t like to admit how it made you jealous. But what was there for you to do to change it? You refused to look desperate and walk up to random groups of people who would probably talk about how lame you are behind your back-
“Hey, you alright?” the sudden voice in your direction yanked you out of your self-deprecating thoughts. Looking up you had to squint your eyes to try and make out who was talking to you as the sun shone in your eyes till they tilted their head, blocking it. After some adjustment from the sunspots in your eyes, you were greeted with a shy yet warm smile.
“Um, yeah, I’m fine,” you uttered awkwardly, swallowing the frog in your throat that had your voice croaking. The girl chuckled and tottered down to the ground to sit beside you in the grass. She dressed well, was one of the first things you noticed. Her pink skirt and tall white socks were very countering to your grass-stained jeans, scuffed hightops, and t-shirt.
“You sure, because you’re all by yourself,” she said rather matter of factly.
“Well, maybe I like being alone. Think of that,” she arched her brow curiously. “And as far as I know you’re alone too,” she chuckled again with a little huff.
“Tuche,” was all she replied, but she had a stupidly shiny grin on her face. Next, she reached out her hand to shake. “I’m Charlotte, by the way. But most people call me Lottie,” you hesitated for a standing moment, only staring at her hand as you kept yours loosely wrapped around your knees till you gave in, shaking her hand in greeting.
“I’m y/n,”
“Well y/n, tell me about yourself,” she spent the rest of that lunch period at your side, asking questions about you in exchange for the little tidbits you were willing to give her. It was so strange, looking back now, how a because girl decided you looked lonely you'd be driving to upstate New York on a random Thursday night due to your desperation to find her again.
Lottie had always been charismatic. She liked people. She looked at them like puzzles made special for her to figure out. Maybe that was her way of avoiding herself, or maybe she just had a natural curiosity for those she didn’t understand. But from that day on, she hadn’t left you alone. She’d excitedly greet you in the halls, and invite you out with her friends and to late-night parties. She was the one who integrated you into the community and helped you find a place.
But she also became your best friend. However, you struggled to feel like you were hers sometimes. She was so bright and colorful, full of life and boy was she popular. She always had someone with her, unless she found the time for you exclusively, which dwindled more and more as high school progressed. Of course, this is a concern you could talk to her about but you didn’t want to bother. In truth, you feared your feelings were driven by selfishness. You thought you'd never voice it, but oh, how you undoubtedly adored Lottie Matthews.
You felt her encase you when she was close and her laugh was enough to have you swooning. You thrived in her presence and basked in the littlest bit of attention she may offer you. Her touch was electrifying and when she grabbed your hand when she greeted you you felt what had to be magic. But of course, you could never tell. Sure, you knew you were gay and you were so fortunate that you’re mother said it was ok, but you’d never tell, ever. Even if the ache felt like it was squeezing you, you couldn’t lose Lottie. You didn’t want to scare her away and be a freak.
Part of you wonders if that’s why you'd lost Lottie after all. You hadn’t been honest with her. No, that wasn’t rational. A secret didn’t take down an airplane.
-💚-
You didn’t arrive till mid-afternoon, late morning, the sun high above as you made your way towards this market. They had their location posted online, so with a quick search and an input to your mapping app you were all set to go. Moments like that reminded you of how on your road trips with your mother growing up she'd have you read the map in the passenger's seat beside her, your finger tailing over the highways towards the little star sticker added on to be your final destination. Strange how so little time felt like it had passed since then yet a whole life as well.
Venders had been set up for some time now and enjoying the comfortable air as they mingled and shopped. You hooked a tote bag over your shoulder to look less conspicuous (although there inherently isn’t anything conspicuous about a middle-aged queer woman at a farmers market, still. You felt a need to keep a low profile). You wandered for some time, looking for a stall that said something like sunset honey, or maybe it was sunnyside. Something involving both the sun and honey, and it looked like the people working wore a lot of purples.
Honestly, it was a very nice market in itself. Had you had ulterior motives for attending you would have quite enjoyed it. That is still you grew distracted by a florist’s stand. The owner had lovely premade bouquets that ranged in a variety of colors and sizes, but what caught your eye where the assortment of white and pastel metal buckets housing small assortments of different flowers, meant to be starters for gardening. In particular stood out the small purple flowers known for growing naturally back home, in Wiskayok. You tentatively reached out to stroke the petals.
You hadn’t formally been invited to the party, but it was one of those words get around kind of things, she no one was actually invited, right? At least, that's what you'd told yourself as you got ready in your room, obsessively messing with your hair in the mirror. It was one of those beer-guzzling bonfire things that the seniors hosted on the outskirts of the woods now and then. This time, however, the justification was the girl's soccer team going to nationals, and after the whole pep rally earlier in the day, it did sound justified.
You pulled back from the mirror to look back down at your clothes. You'd layered a black plaid dress with thin straps over a white sweater that’s sleeves cut off just below your elbow with tights and docs. You tugged at your coller, attempting not to grimace. Sure, you liked dressing feminine now and then, but when it came to events like this you couldn’t help the anxiety, especially with drunk boys. But still, you wanted to look nice, even if the drinks being served were from a beer keg. It just felt like one of those nights, you figured. You sighed and forced yourself to leave as there was a car horn honking outside, grabbing your backpack along the way as you went. It’d be good to have a quick getaway available to you if need be.
“Have fun, hun! Make good choices for me, ok?” your mom called to you from the couch, watching one of her late-night shows while sipping tea and crocheting something as you went downstairs. You smiled, walked up beside her at the end of the couch, and kissed her forehead.
“I will, mama, I promise,” you forced a tiny smile. She hummed her thanks and smiled, opening her eyes to take a look at you.
“Show me this little number you assembled for me,” she said, taking off her eyeglasses and gesturing up and down with her crochet hook as she readjusted in her seat to get a better view. You stretched out an arm, the other firmly holding your backpack to your shoulder, and did a turn around for her. She smiled wide and gave you playful applause.
“Cute! And do you like it? Everything fits well?”
“Yes, Mom, I promise,” you sighed, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes. It was a new dress you hadn’t worn yet and you knew she was only doing the classic mom routine but you had to go!
“Alright, you go have fun. And tell your friend Charlotte good luck at nationals!” she called after you as you shut the door front door and locked it. You turned, illuminated by your porchlight, and waved to your ride. Van had the passenger window of Taisa’s car down and she waved back with a confident grin on her face. You could hear Depeche Mode playing on the radio as you approached the car. You opened the door and slid inside with a quick smile.
“Thanks for the ride, Taissa,” you said, trying not to sound as shy as you felt. She smiled in the rearview mirror, checking her surroundings as she turned down the radio.
“Yeah, no problem girl,” she said with effortless confidence. You didn’t know Taissa or Van, or much of the school's soccer team all that well, but in your mutual connection to Lottie over the past four years you’d tagged along with them quite often and they’d always been nice to you.
“We couldn’t say no after Lottie was so adamant we were nice,” Van joked quite loudly to Taissa, giving you an up and down with that grin again. You stared for a second, unsure of what she was trying to imply till Taissa smacked the goalie in the arm with the back of her hand, hissing her name to make her shut up as she started driving. The redhead let out an undignified yelp.
“She’s being an asshole. And confusing. Lottie wanted you to come and she knew we’d be the best people to pick you up is all,” you still had a confused look on your face, your shoulders hunched inward.
“Um ok, thanks?” you said it more like a question.
“What she means, is that we like you. And we’ll tell you we like you,” Van chimed in again. She wasn’t as helpful to you as she thought she was.
“Right, ok. Is there something else going on that I’m not cluing in on?” Tai and Van shared a knowing look.
“Ok, so the other day Lot kept going on about how she worries that you don’t feel like we’re all friends, and doesn’t want you to feel like you’re just her other friend that tags along, ya know? So we figured we pick you up and tell you that, because some of the other girls on the team aren't the best at communicating, ya know?”
“Oh. So we're friends?” you sounded far more surprised and eager than you would have wanted to. “And Lottie told you all that? About me, I mean?” Van grinned once more, fully turning around in her seat.
“Yeah, dude! I think you’re really cool actually!” you began to smile more than before and leaned back, straightening up your posture.
“And, yes, Lot had all that to say and more,” Tai added on. You were thankful for the dark car hiding any color that might have rushed to your face.
“She talks about you all the time,” Van blabbed on. Tai gave her a look that told the goalie to keep quiet now. Just as she did you pulled up to another house in the neighborhood that has Lottie sitting on the front porch. She shot up when she saw the car but took a last-minute look at the front door like she was waiting for something. Van maneuvered in her seat to hang out the window. “Hurry up slowpoke or we’ll be late to our party,” Lottie all but yelped and ran to the car after that, toward your side of the car.
You didn’t have enough time to move out of the way and before you knew it Lottie had flung the door open with an exhilarated grin, laughing as she climbed in over your lap to collapse in the seat beside you in the back. She’d picked to wear all pink, which was just so fitting for her. You noticed in particular that she was wearing one of her shorter skirts that she giggled to you about hiding from her mother.
“Shut the door and go!” she said through giggles, and once you had the time to process what was happening you did just that, closing the now-opened door to your right, and Taissa was off. Lottie lunged forward in her seat and punched Van in the shoulder, laughing all the while. “God, fuck you! I could have been caught because of that,” she griped as Van dramatically clutched her arm.
“Ugh, what’s with beating on the goalie tonight? I gotta stay fit for nationals and I’ll be covered in bruises at this rate,”
“Whatever. You’re always covered in bruises, and not all of them are from soccer,” Lottie implied, her hands gripping Taissa’s headrest in front of her so she could lean forward and talk to the two girls up front. That is till she scooted back to give you her full attention.
“Well, you’re liking fine as hell tonight hot stuff! Have you been hiding this little number?” Lottie asked, reaching out to touch the material of the dress you were wearing along your leg. You managed to force a laugh and playfully swatter her hand away with shifty eye contact.
“It’s new. My mom got it for me during our last mall trip. She wanted me to expand my wardrobe or whatever,” you played off causally. Lottie gave you a knowing smile and sighed as she turned to look out the window.
“I think it looks great, just like you always do,” she murmured rather quietly. You weren't even sure you were supposed to hear her. Not long after Tai parked and you all got out of the car. Van yelled something at the crowd that had already gotten things started and there was a low collection of howling and yelling in response to her. Lottie got out of the car before you but stopped and waited by your door for you to get out with her. She said nothing but had that perky smile on the whole time as she watched you expectantly.
“So, whatcha wanna do?” you asked. She shrugged.
“I dunno. Maybe get reeeeeally drunk,” she toyed, reaching out to take your hand like it had become second nature. Tai walked up to the two of you from the driver seat of the car, double-checking as she locked it shut and shoved her keys in her jacket pocket. She made a purposefully obvious glance down at your entwined fingers then back up to Lottie.
“Careful Lot, people might talk,” she said with what Lottie took as a comfortable coolness but it sent a shiver down your back that caused you to think about pulling away.
“Pfft! I don't give a flying fuck! Let them talk!” she announced quite loudly, leaning forward with her free hand on her hip. She turned her gaze back to you and wiggled her brows as she grinned. “Come on. Get a drink with me,” she urged, tugging you away from Taissa.
“Don’t listen to her. No one is looking, and if they are they don’t care. What’s wrong with holding hands anyway?” Lottie babbled on as she pulled you in line for a beer with her. She was still holding onto your hand quite tight as she jumped into rambling about something related to her French class. Maybe a recent test? You weren't exactly sure. Despite everything she’d said before, it felt like everyone was looking, but not because of you. Because of Lottie. She was the pretty, popular girl while you were just the weirdo she hung around. With that idea in your head, it was pretty hard to not be self-continuous. You were so in your head that you didn’t notice her shoving a beer in your hand.
“Wha- oh, thanks,” you stuttered. You'd let go of her hand to get your drink, opting to use both hands to hold it. Lottie frowned as she was handed her drink ans thanked the guy passing them out.
“Hey, you alright? Lost you for a sec,” she murmured. She’d become so gentle all of a sudden. Were you really that fragile? She forced a smile and nodded.
“Yeah, I'm great. Just haven't gotten into the party mood yet, I guess,”
“Oh, ok. Do you wanna step away, clear your head a bit?” you shook your head no.
“Nah, I'm good. I’m just gonna grab something from my bag in Tai’s car, ok?” Lottie tilted her head, almost like she was trying to look at you from a new angle.
“I can go with you,” she offered. God, why did she have to be so attentive and sweet?
“I promise I’ll be fine-” you started only for a distraction to catch your eye. “Hey, Shauna and Jackie are over that way. I’ll meet up with you when I’m done,” you offered, dialing up that chipper tone as high as you could. She finally gave in and nodded, making her way over to her other friends while you crept away to dash toward Tai, wherever she was. You eventually found her after dodging around cars and trees listening to Van argue with a group of boys about something sports-related probably. That honestly wasn’t a huge concern of hers at the moment.
“Hey, Taissa. can I borrow your keys?” Taissa arched a brow.
“You’re not trying to use my car to go joyriding or to fuck, right?”
“What? Oh my god- no. I just wanna get something from my bag. It’s in the car,”
“Where's Lot?” why is that relevant right now?
“She’s with Jackie and Shauna,” you began messing with the loose hair falling in your face, averting your eyes from her. Tai gave you an up and down before tugging at Van’s jacket.
“Van, go with y/n to my car, ok?”
“I was just in the middle-” Van started till Tai arched a brow and she gave in. Tai dropped her keys in the redhead's hand and you were off to the car again.
“Do you already wanna leave?” Van asked, walking backward in front of you.
“No, I just want something from my bag,” Van slowed to walk in stride with her hands in her pockets, watching you as you watched everyone who passed.
“Care to share?” you just looked at her and finally managed a laugh.
“I’ll share when we get there,” upon reaching the car and unlocking it, you grabbed your bag and made your way to a more secluded edge over the party where you’d be left alone, Van trailing close behind till you set your solo cup on the ground, sat down saddle style on an old, knocked-over log to rummage through your bag. You pulled out a baggy you’d been holding onto and a lighter.
“Damn, y/n, I didn’t think you the type,” the goalie said as she dropped down across from you. “Where’d ya get it?” she asked, taking the joint you pulled out to share.
“My older brother. He lives with my dad while he’s going to school and I visited him over Christmas and he gave me a few that I use quite sparingly.
“Divorced?” she asked, referring to your parents. You shrugged.
“Kinda, but not really? It’s weird. They still like each other and get along but they aren't exclusive by any means. Dad works in Cali while mom moved here to look after her mom who’s a few houses down from us,” you explained as you fidgeted with the lighter, fixated on the way the flame moved up and down, on and off. Van snatched it out of your hand during an “off” moment to light the joint now placed firmly between her teeth.
You simply watched her process, lighting the joint and then taking in a long breath before holding and letting it go with a sigh as though she was relieved before passing it to you. She did the same, watching your breath in with your eyes shut only to exhale into the dark, finishing off with a small cough before passing it once again. You could see streetlights from the main road from here, you realized.
“You’re into Lot, aren’t you?” her voice was low to not attract attention, but she was confident in what she had asked. You paused, staring out at the lights just a short walk away. Normally, an insinuation that you were gay would have you panicked. It could have been the weed, but maybe you'd relaxed and found some sliver of comfort in the redhead, your new companion.
“I think I do,” you whistled through your teeth at your admission. You turned to meet her eyes when she nudged your shoulder with the side of her hand, passing the joint off again. “Think I’m a lost cause?” Van snorted and shook her head.
“Oh, hell no. That girl’s crazy about you,” Van said with a sigh, leaning back on her hands where she was sitting on the log. “Now, I don’t know what type of way she feels. Sexual, romantic, or just friendship. But there's something there. Lot’s banked a lot on you,” you began to smile again, soft and mellow as you took another hit. After that one, you leaned down to take a chug of your beer. You offered to pass again, but Van had turned her attention back to the party, particularly to Taissa who looked like she was getting shit from Shauna. Even from over her, you could tell she was wasted given how she stumbled around. Van groaned and got up from where she was sitting.
“Keep it. I gotta deal with this,” she huffed as she left. You watched her go, eyes trailing after her to meet with Lottie’s, who was staring right at you, arm crossed over her chest and cup in hand. She seemed to hesitate between you and her arguing friends, but when the debate got particularly loud she turned with a furrowed brow. You watched her go and kept watching till Jackie derailed the entire situation, pulling all the girls away likely to yell at them. With that done, you sighed, leaning back to fully lie on the log, the joint between your lips and legs dangling over either side as you shut your eyes.
“You hiding from me over here?” you opened your eyes. The joint was nearly out as it had just been sitting between your teeth for who knows how long by now. Lottie stood over you, arms still crossed as she held onto her nearly drained drink. you shook your head, sitting up as she sat down beside you on your left, much closer than Van had been. You readjusted, sitting properly with both legs over one side of the log, shoulders hunched. Lottie's arm brushed against yours when she moves. “You didn’t come back,” she simply steed with no malice or accusation in her voice. You shrugged.
“I was getting overwhelmed I guess,” you murmured. “Didn’t feel like talking,”
“You seemed chatty with Van” Again, she simply stated fact. You sighed and leaned down to take another drink. Lottie took the joint from your hand. You watched, then reached for the lighter to give it a second wind. She held it between her forefinger and thumb for you and once it ignited once more it found home between her lips. You watched, sipping your beer. She smoked far prettier than Van had.
“Van’s a good listener guess. Doesn’t talk too much,” Lottie snorted out a laugh at that.
“I don't think anyone has ever said ‘Van Palmer doesn’t talk much’” you chuckled out a soft laugh to match hers. You looked away, out at the lights again. Lottie took another breath in, letting the joint sit between her fingers with her crossed arms. She watched the lights with you, though she might not understand the fixation you seemed to have on them. That is, till she paused, turning fully to watch you. She tilted her head again, unexpectedly brushing her fingers over your temple to guide loose hair obstructing her view out of the way and behind your ear. “Let me kiss you,” she murmured, almost as though she was pleading. You turned back to her. Her hand settled on your cheek, fingertips curiously brushing over the apple of your cheek.
“Don’t kid me,” you whispered, eyes glazing as you darted down to her parted lips.
“Never,” she shook her head ever so slightly. It made her hair sway. You swallowed hard but shakily nodded. That was enough of a yes for her to move in. She immediately dropped the joint in her hand and the hand tracing your cheek found home on the back of your neck. Her now free hand rested behind your ear, stroking your hair as you latched onto her waist, using your left hand to hold you up on the log.
She kissed like she knew exactly what she was doing. As though this had all been part of a longstanding plan. She’d envisioned this just as you had, and fuck was it perfect. Her lisp whereas urgent as your own and had it not been a public space you might have let her do anything she wanted to you right then and there. She scrunched her fist into your hair, unintentionally pulling ever so lightly on your scalp and eliciting a sudden moan from your throat which only egged her on further till she had to pull away with you chasing after her.
You opened your eyes wide, lips still parted as you gasped for breath in and out. And then, of course, you got shy, anxious voices telling you she’d regret this immediately. You began to turn from her but the hand in your hair let go and moved to trace knuckles over your cheek and subsequently turn your eyes back to her. She shook her head, murmuring no over and over, soothing you like a child about to cry. And at that thought, the thought of crying alone, you felt the tears spike in your eyes. She watched your brow crinkle as your lip trembled and she pulled you into her chest, holding you as close as she could.
The hand on your neck found your back as the hand on your cheek moved to cup the back of your head. You buried into your neck as you cried, and she rested her cheek against your scalp, murmuring over and over how it was all ok. She kissed your hair, rubbed your back, and rocked you from side to side as your hands vigorously clung to her sweater, fearing letting her go, because what if the magic would be over and gone when she was out of your hands?
But reluctantly you needed to let her go, and eventually, that point came where you emerged from her embrace, the scent of her shampoo and perfume fading from you quickly as you met her puffed, teary gaze. She moved to hold your cheeks in her hands as her breath shook. You held your hands around hers, kissing her palm with a weak smile. Fortunately, that had her let go of a watery laugh. But neither of you spoke yet. You just sat in warm silence till you readjusted to be side by side once more, your head lulled to her shoulder with her cheek at your temple.
“Fuck, what do we even do after that?” you breathed, eyes training down to the long discarded joint and red solo cups with only sips left of beer in them, though yours has spilled at some point, soaking the ground under it.
“I leave tomorrow,” she murmured back. You dressed your lips together before letting go of another sigh.
“I know… we should have waited” she chuckled sleepily.
“I don’t think so,” you hummed your why. “I’ll be excited to get back here. Well, more excited than I already was to see you,” you chuckled, though your tongue dripped with wordless sarcasm.
“Don’t forget about me,”
“Oh, how could I ever after that?” she teased with another giggle. You smiled, nuzzling your nose into her shoulder. With the change in direction, you got an idea upon seeing a small purple flower growing just beside her shoe.
“I know how,” you started, reaching across her side to pick it, leaving a nice, long stem to tuck behind her ear and in her hair. You sat back to admire your work and smiled. “Purple suits you,” you decided, tucking some of the hair behind her ear for a better look at your work. She chuckled with a sniffle, her fingers gently wrapping around your palm, catching you to kiss your fingertips.
“Mam, are you alright?” you were dragged out of your daydream like a shockwave and had to take several moments to ground yourself again, taking in a deep breath. You blinked repeatedly, shaking your head before forcing a smile.
“Yes, I’m so sorry. I was remembering something I needed,” you said with a forced chuckle. The florist smiled, though he seemed a little unsure. You turned back to the flower, petal still gently settled between your fingers. “I’ll take this, while I’m here,” you said as you cleared your throat, gently picking up the small white bucket and giving it to the florist to ring up.
“Ah, Ruellia caroliniensis. But it’s better known as Carolina Wild Petunia. A good choice. Pick it for any reason? I ask everybody that,” he asked, making meaningless small talk. Your eyes stayed focused on the waving petals of the plant as it was gently jostled around.
“It just reminded me of someone I knew, I guess,” he smiled thoughtfully and nodded with a soft hum of acknowledgment before he asked you for cash or charge. You picked charge which resulted in you digging through your purse for your card.
“Oh my god! y/n! A shrill voice called when you weren’t looking and just as you pulled out your debit card. You gave the florist you’re card before turning to look who it might be only to have the Misty Quigley herself approaching you with the wide smile and outstretched arms that you felt you had to reciprocate. She squeezed you quite tight and when she let go her hands remained at your side for a moment as she seemed to look at you in awe.
“Well, what the heck are you doing here?” she asked tilting her head with that smile still plastered across her lips till she gasped “Oh! Are you looking for Nat too?” you furrowed your brow and frowned.
“What? No, I’m-”
“Uh, mam, you’re purchase?” the florist interrupted. You turned from Misty to grab your new belonging, which he had been so kind and bagged for you as well as outstretching your card back to you.
“Yes, thank you so much! I truly appreciate it!” you said as chipperly as you could before ushering Misty out of the man’s stall and towards a clearing. “What, what are you talking about with Natalie?”
“She got kidnapped!” the blond exclaimed, adjusting her glasses. “She was taken from the motel she was staying in back home and we’re here to find her,” she blabbered on.
“Hold on, when did Nat get out of rehab and who is we?”
“I dunno, a few weeks ago I think? So much had been going on and it's been hard to keep track and ‘we’ is me and Walter,” you were still confused about the situation and about to ask who Walter was when the man himself showed up. He’d be trailing behind Misty for some time, just casually in the background. He was so average you hadn’t even noticed him. The man waved and offered a smile. You tentatively returned the wave but still seemed confused.
“I’m not here for Natalie. I didn’t hear about that at all. No, I’m looking for Lottie,” you said rather bluntly. Misty frowned and it was now her turn to be confused.
“Lottie? But she’s been in Switzerland for years-”
“Well I thought that too will I saw this,” you whispered, hissing through your teeth as you frantically pulled out your phone and the screenshot you’d taken of the farmers market Instagram post, zooming in on Lottie and shoving the device into her hands.
“No, that can’t be her,”
“It is. I just- it’s not a great angle but I know it’s her,” you insisted. Misty began to scan the photo curiously, zooming back out when she let out a dramatic gasp and began excitedly smacking at your arm.
“Purple people!” you yelled. “Purple people!” she repeated it to Walter this time, which summoned him to rush over and huddle around your phone.
“The purple people took Natalie!” she explained with far too much excitement for your liking.
“Could they have taken Lottie,” Misty shrugged.
“I dunno, maybe. But only one way to find out!” She shoved your phone back in your hand and began aggressively powerwalking away with Walter tight on her heels. You hesitated momentarily before shutting your phone off and shoving it into your purse, hustling after them.
“Wait! Do you know where to go?”
“Yes! Of course! We found out from the other stalls,” she called back. “Get in your car and follow us!” she sounded far too excited for this whole ordeal, but what other options did you have to find Lottie? You ran back to your car, got in, and started with heavy breath ready to take the next step on this crazy adventure you found yourself on.
-💚-
After quite a bit of driving, they pulled off into a bed and breakfast parking lot and parked. You parked beside them and got out with a frustrated expression.
“We're not going tonight.” Misty rolled her eyes and she pulled her suitcase out of the trunk of what you assumed was Walter’s car.
“Someone,” she was heavily implying someone to be Walter, especially with the annoyed, flat-mouthed looks he gave him “wanted to wait till morning because he thinks the cult will expect us at night,” you gave her a look that asked “really” and Misty threw up a hand, shaking her head as she grabbed onto her luggage.
“I know! Trust me, I know, but captain’s orders,” she huffed as she followed Walter into the B&B. You paused, letting out an exasperated sigh before going to grab your duffle back and your plant. You hear Misty muttering about not using her real name as she and Walter get a room.
“And it's just for one room, right?” the concierge asked. There was an irritatingly comedic back and forth of yes, and no, then both of them settled on no, two rooms would be fine.
“And, um, you can put mine under the name Lady Mallowan,” Misty gave herself a name straight out of Clue or a shitty romance novel and you couldn’t help rolling your eyes.
“Seventeen and eighteen. Up the stairs to the right,” then went back and forth with thank yous as they clumsily took their keys, then started deliberating about luggage when Walter offered to take the suitcase off of Misty��s hands.
“Just one room under y/n l/n is fine, please,” you said simply. You saw Misty and her new boyfriend exchange an appalling look and you had to refrain from laughing.
“Room nineteen,”
“That’s great, thanks” You dropped your things upon entry, but gently placed your plant in its bed on the nightstand before collapsing on your bed with a long sigh. Of course, you'd need to get up and change, but for now, lying on your back in a bed that wasn’t yours was all you could feel like doing. That is till you got up from said bed and disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a small paper cup of water that you set on the nightstand as you sat on the edge of the bed. You tentatively opened the bag that held your plant and took it out, setting it on the stand to be out and in the fresh air. You gave it a light drink from the cup before you returned to the bathroom for a shower.
-💚-
You were woken by Misty’s knock at you’re door bright and early at seven-thirty and back on the road by eight after grabbing complimentary breakfast to go. It was a rather long drive to wherever you were going, but you once again found ways to fill the time. That is till Walter took a screeching u-turn that almost caused a car crash on a winding, wet wooded road, but that was a conversation for later. You pulled up beside them and followed as they now stood excitedly outside a green gate that happened to have a matching bee on it. All you carried with you was your tote bag with your plant tucked away inside. Why you felt the need to bring it, you weren't sure, but it felt necessary.
“The bee is where the purple people are!” Misty insistently explained.
“Ok, do we need to call them ‘the purple people”
“Well, yes, but that's only till we get a better name for them. But anyway,” without another word of it, Misty ducked under the gate herself and began walking up the road.
“Ok, we’re getting hit by a car if we do that-” you started but she shook her head.
“It'll be fine. It looks decently short,”
“Well what about my car?” you urged.
“Just lock it! Who’s pulling over in the rain to rob an unattended car out here?” you sighed with exasperation.
“I dunno, maybe people from the cult we’re actively visiting,” you mumbled to yourself.
“What was that!”
“Nothing!” you huffed, following after Misty and now Walter, who had started moving shortly after her. She’d been right though. It was a rather short walk with no cars. You found yourself in what looked like a parking lot in the middle of the woods blocking off yet another road with an even larger fence in front of it. Misty and Walter were actively messing with an intercom system that seemed to have worked as they excitedly returned to your side.
“Alright, so the man on the other end, I think his name was Jack or Jackson- anyway, he’s getting Natalie and she's coming to meet us here,”
“But what about Lottie?” Misty adjusted her glasses and folded her arms with a shrug.
“I thought we could have Natalie confirm that, because we know she’s in there-”
“You don’t believe me,” you interrupted as she began trailing off.
“Well, we do not want to be making outlandish accusations to strangers, I mean-” she got easily distracted by the sound of someone walking down the pebbled path.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Nataline started with heavy irritation.
“Oh, thank God you're safe,” Misty would have hugged her by now had the gate not been in her way.
“Safe? What are you talking about?” her attention turned to you and her eyes widened with further confusion “Hi, y/n,” she added tentatively. You awkwardly waved as she gave you a nod.
“And who the fսck is this?” she gestured to Walter now.
“Walter,” he simply introduced himself with a wave and a light chuckle before going on. “I've heard nothing but wonderful things about you” Natalie scrunched her nose, clearly not caring all that much about what impression Misty had given him of her upon first meeting.
“We're here to rescue you!” Misty eagerly interjected again. “I mean, you-you were kidnapped, right?”
“No. Uh, yes, technically I was, but it's no big deal, okay?” the notion that Natalie’s kidnapping wasnt that big of a deal was bewildering to Misty as seen on her face, but honestly you understood her reaction.
“Lottie sent some people for me, but I'm not being held against my will,” she muttered, twisting her neck as she spoke. “Well, not anymore” It was now your turn to perk up.
“I'm sorry, Lottie?”
“I told you she was here,” you hissed through your teeth at Misty, moving closer to the fencing.
“Wait- as in Lottie? Lottie, who was committed to a mental institution in Switzerland? That Lottie?”
“Yes, Misty, that's the one,” Natalie turned to you once more “I'm assuming you had your theories or whatever?”
“Oh, I’m not here with them-” you paused. “Ok, originally I was coming here all on my own, but we ran into each other, and well,” from there you gave up.
“Wait, Natalie, Natalie!” Misty derailed the conversation once again. “You're gonna have to elaborate,
“Look, she runs a place here, and she's helping me reflect or whatever. So, you and your Hardy Boy can go home,” she looked Walter up and down again about Hardy Boy.
“But…”
“I'm doing a fսcking thing here, Misty. I don't need you getting in my way,” she’d lost patience with the blonde’s interruptions and persistence and in all honestly, you felt bad for her given how she shrank back at the raised tone. But she quickly toughened back up, turned on her heels, and marched back in the direction you'd come.
“She seems nice,” Walter tried to lighten the mood. Natalie sighed with either exhaustion or irritation, watching them go before her eyes drifted to you, still standing in front of her. “You’re not done too?”
“Natalie, I need to see her,” she let out a scoffish chuckle and sighed through her nose.
“Oh, I’m sure you do,”
“I’m serious, Natalie,”
“Oh no, I can tell you are, don’t worry. Just- just give me a minute, alright. Let me ask my guy,” she began to turn but waited for you to nod before actually leaving. You stood still, turning to check your surroundings once more just to be as sure as possible. Natalie returned quite quickly with a man behind her. She shrugged, seeming surprised by the verdict herself as the gate’s electric lock began to unlatch letting you in.
“Uh, my car is still parked with some of my things,” Natalie was already shaking her head.
“We can have someone come and retrieve it all later,” Natalie’s companion started ad Natalie turned, already heading up the hill for a second time.
“But you're not gonna need it!” she yelled behind her. Due to her eagerness to leave the scene, you were left walking beside the strange man who let you in.
“So, I'm assuming you’re Jack or…” you drawled off but he chuckled, appreciating your intention.
“Jeferson,” he cleared.
“Right, ok. Nice to meet you,” you nodded, your hands clutching quite tight to the straps of your tote bag. “Look, I don’t mean to sound rude, but I’m only here to see Lottie not join your… well join whatever you're up to,” he laughed again and nodded.
“Don’t worry. She knows you're here,” a shive rushed down your spine as you realized what was happening. “I’m instructed to take her to you, actually,”
“Oh. wow, that’s just great. Yeah, great,” you whispered to yourself as you bit your lip, questioning if this was going to be a good idea after all. When you looked up again, taking a deep breath you were met with quite a beautiful scene before you. It was a nice, well-organized camp on a lake with cabins and what you assumed were social areas all around and throughout the woods. You paused for a moment to take it in and wonder, did Lottie make all of this?
“Charlotte is waiting this way, Ms. l/n,” Jeferson interrupted your wonderings.
“Mhm, I’m coming,” you had to manually tell your feet to move before you could follow him to the separate cabin that must be Lottie’s. He had already walked up the stairs by the time you approached the porch, taking a moment to appreciate its handiwork before trudging up the creaking wood. Jefferson opened the door but didn’t enter, only gesturing for you to go in.
“Charlotte will be here as soon as she can step away,” he explained as you cautiously walked in. You nodded, turning around to give him your thanks but he was already shutting the door, leaving you to your own devices. For a moment you stood completely still, watching the wooden door anticipating her walking in at any second, but after a few seconds of stillness, your foot began bouncing with building anxiety squeezing at your chest.
“Shit,” you hissed, turning to look around your surroundings and find something to help you calm down. You put your bag on the table, but take the time to take the plant out and set it beside your bag. You rubbed your sweating palms on your pants and began to wander around the single room you found yourself in. Her main space was split into a small lounge-ish office space with a kitchen on the other half.
You assumed the bathroom and her bedroom were down in the back of the cabin and with a craning of your neck you could see in one of the rooms but you decided it best to leave that be. Wandering around the office space you ran your fingertips over the edge of her desk. You peaked over the edge, curiosity winning momentarily before you restrained yourself, instead turning to the art hung on her wall featuring deer and other wilderness things before resigning yourself to the couch facing her desk.
You flopped down rather unceremoniously but couldn't help sitting stiff, hunched forward with your knee bouncing in anticipation. Your eyes trained on her desk again, which was mostly bare of anything decor-like other than the two small picture frames. You forced yourself to look away till your nerves kicked in again and you were back up and taking the large one into your hands. It featured a classic team photo of the soccer team back in high school, but earlier on during your sophomore year.
You chuckled lightly scanning over the baby faces your old friends used to have. Having something familiar to look at was relaxing, you decided. Maybe not the most morally correct thing, but this was an exceptional situation. So, you moved on to the small one, thinking none of it till she got a look and your heart dropped again. Pressed pristinely against the glass was an all too familiar flower, nearly identical to the one you'd been carrying for the past day and a half. Only this one had far more wear to it, clearly showing its age. It had faded in color over time, taking on hues of parchment brown rather than the vibrant purples you’d been familiar with. You traced over the shapes of the petals, likely dry and dusty to the touch by now over its safety net of glass. That is till you heard the carbon door abruptly shut.
And oh, she was perfect. She was sickeningly, stunningly perfect but all you could do was freeze where you stood, grip tightening around the small wooden frame in your clasp out of fear you might drop it if you didn’t squeeze tight. And she stood just as stunned at you. Age had encompassed her face all this time, but it was still her face. The one you had ingrained in your mind, so much more detailed than any photograph. You felt your chin begin to quiver.
“Please tell me you didn't hold on to that all these years" You had to force it out with your breath ad your brow bowed with the strain of keeping it together. And then she laughed. She laughed her laugh, now blossoming with the beautiful thing that is age, just as every other part of her was. She moved toward you as though she was floating. She took her caftan off so smoothly it was like the breeze itself removed it for her. And before anything else, she took the frame from your hands, fingertips brushing together only for a moment. She returned it to its place before shakily turning back to you, tears drizzling from her eyes as she smiled.
“How could I not,” she murmured with a laugh full of exasperated joy as though she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her hands hovered over your arms as though she feared touching you would break the illusion, but with the way your lip trembled and tears rolled from your eyes as you held back a strangled sob she couldn’t refrain herself. It all felt so new and old all at once and oh, how overwhelming she was, her hands cupped at your face, thumbs stroking at your tears as you let it all go, sopping into her.
Just as she had years before she murmured sweet nothing promising that you were safe and you were here, but not only you. After so much time she needed the reassurance of reality just as much. She pulled you in, just as before and your nose found its rightful place in the curve of her neck as her cheek found your scalp. She held you up and close as your knees began to shake and you had to grip onto her shoulder blades for what felt like dear life. You needed to feel her to truly know that she was here, she was real and she was yours, as were you.
#fanfiction requests#fic request#◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ kay's at it again♡#yellowjackets fanfic#yellowjackets x reader#yellowjackets requests#yellowjackets#lottie matthews#lottie matthews x reader#yellowjackets spoilers
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Masterlist
I will be mainly writing for Yellowjackets!
What I'll write: Fluff, angst, horror writing (in details), morally grey characters, possibly smut in the future. What I wont write: anything releated to fetishes.
Request rules: if you want to request anything, it would be helpful to be really specific so i dont mess it up ;). Writing time may take a while.
Yellowjackets:
Lottie Matthews:
Curses (series)
Van Palmer Just like in the movies: Spider-Van x fem reader
Natalie Scatorrcio
Blood hive: Vampire Natalie x fem reader
Shauna Shipman
Having a situationship with Shauna in the wilderness
Transmasc! Shaun blurbs
Jackie Taylor
Misty Quigley
Laura Lee
Taissa Turner
In the works...
Curses: chapter two
Witcher Natalie one-shot
Witch school Lottie one-shot
Spider-Van!
Modern Lottie oneshot
Transmasc Shaun oneshot
#yellowjackets#lottie matthews x reader#natalie scatorccio x reader#shauna shipman x reader#van palmer x reader#jackie taylor#misty quigley#taissa turner#yellowjackets x reader#yellowjackets headcanons
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Master List
[ for joycesgf-robinswife ]
* = smut
• = fluff
+ = angst / sad
~ = personal fav
^ = one-shot
! = series / chapter
————————————————
Stranger Things
Joyce Byers :
The Babysitter ( * , • , ^ )
—> Joyce Byers x Fem!Reader
————————————————
Scream Universe
Kirby Reed :
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Yellowjackets
Lottie Matthews :
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fallingforyou (1)
lottie x fem!reader enemies to lovers au <3
// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //
i’ll never make it right (if you don’t want me ‘round)
you don’t really know why lottie matthews hates you, but she does. she has since freshman year, and up until senior year, nothing changes. lottie isn’t known for being a mean person… in fact, she’s actually very nice. but for some reason, she just hates you. you don’t really know what you did, or why she treats you like you’re absolute garbage… but she does. you aren’t really the type to beg or try to make someone like you, especially someone popular and rich like charlotte isobel matthews.
you’ve never really been popular at all. your best friend is natalie mary scatorccio, and you’re mostly friends with the ‘nerds’ and ‘dorks’. you’re even friends with a few theater kids. everyone at school knows who you are, but you aren’t really interested in your social status. in fact, sometimes in lottie’s opinion it was almost like you didn’t care at all. you walked around so carefree and unapologetically yourself… lottie for some reason hated that. she hated that while she had to take her meds, and act like someone she’s not; you get to be whoever the hell you want.
today though, everyone around lottie matthews was feeling her wrath. it wasn’t unusual for lottie to be catty, or snappy when someone deserved it, but today it seemed as if the yellowjackets sweeper was angry at everyone and everything. you were steering clear of her since this morning and natalie noticed the way you had been avoiding her as well. it wasn’t unlike you to try and avoid lottie; she was unnecessarily mean and always had a sardonic response to whatever you had to say, but you never avoided natalie.
“jesus christ, what the fuck is wrong with you today, matthews?” mari asks in frustration after falling right on her ass. lottie had just knocked her out of the way in order to get the ball during practice. mari was currently glaring up at lottie from the grass she had landed on. “get your head in the game, and maybe this wouldn’t be a problem.” lottie responds in a way that everyone recognizes. she’s clearly in a mood and it causes the girls to exchange looks of uncertainty. coach scott blows his whistle as soon as mari stands up.
“alright, that’s enough practice for today. everyone get changed and go home.” he dismisses the girls who all sigh in a bit of relief. as everyone begins to get off the field, tai makes her way up to natalie; jackie not too far behind. “hey, what’s wrong with lot?” tai asks in a whisper, as they all rush into the locker room. “she’s just being an ass because ms. weinstein paired her up with y/n for a chemistry project.” natalie says, and mari groans. “what does that have to do with us??” the raven haired girl complains.
“why can’t she just ask ms. weinstein for a new partner?” jackie asks and natalie smirks, “y/n already tried. i think that’s why lottie’s pissed.” natalie states, and jackie throws her head back and lets out a laugh. “oh wow, that’s a new one. y/n wanting to switch partners? she’s gonna get lottie an easy ‘A’ and lottie’s being a di—“ jackie cuts herself off as soon as lottie begins to walk up to them; a scowl etched onto her face. “you assholes do realize that my locker is right on the other side of yours right? i can hear everything.” the taller girl points out.
you used to always try to talk to her. you’d smile at her, and compliment her outfits. yet she’d always scowl at you or have a clear expression of annoyance, and say something harsh. she noticed you stopped smiling at her in the middle of junior year. this year, you’ve barely even spared her a glance. lottie didn’t even think you realized you were both in ms. weinstein’s class together, but apparently you did. “you’re not the only person who’s unhappy about who you got paired up with. it’s just a few weeks. try not to be such a cunt about it.” natalie says seriously, and lottie rolls her eyes in response.
“i can’t help it if she’s insufferable.” the taller girl mumbles under her breath, causing mari to shake her head and make a face. “she’s insufferable?” mari asks sarcastically as she finishes getting dressed. “i think y/n is nice. she let me copy off all her notes in trig last month.” shauna shrugs as she brushes her in the mirror inside of her locker. “yeah, she remembered my dog had surgery during the summer and she brought me a bag of treats for him when the year started.” akilah pipes up, causing lottie to scoff.
“okay, so she remembered a few things you said, and she let you cheat off her work. who cares? she’s still annoying.” lottie states before swinging her duffle bag over her shoulder and walking out. natalie shakes her head, slamming her locker shut. “i swear if she so much as makes y/n shed a single tear, i’m kicking her ass.” natalie says in a tone so serious, nobody dares question it. though, most of the girls knew how sensitive you were; everyone did. it was only a matter of time before lottie actually did hurt your feelings.
the next day at school, you and lottie have yet to discuss anything about the project. you two haven’t even decided on a topic, and you’ve never been unprepared for a school assignment before. but right now, your pride was too important to you. you didn’t want to be the bigger person and cordially talk to lottie. you’ve tried that; you’ve done nothing but try and be polite or nice. yet all of your efforts have been rewarded with rude comments or bratty behavior. so you were done trying.
“okay i want you all to get into your pairs and talk about the project you should’ve gotten started on yesterday.” ms. weinstein announces, causing you to nearly sink into your chair. you can feel a pair of dark eyes on you, and you look over in lottie’s direction to see her already staring at you. as if she’s waiting for you to make the first move. you internally sigh, realizing that you’re probably going to have to be the bigger person again.
finally, you get up and hesitantly make your way over to the empty seat beside lottie. “hi.” you greet her a bit quietly, and she nods, “hey.” she retorts in a low, uncaring manner. you take a breath, “maybe we could do a study of saponification reactions. it’s just an option, i honestly don’t care what topic we do.” you admit and she nods, thankfully not saying anything rude yet. “we can do that. i don’t care either.” her voice is curt and the answers are short. you nod slowly as you open your notebook to the next blank page, and label it.
lottie notices you use a blue color pen to label it, and then a black one to take actual notes with. you have a whole bunch of colored pens in different colors for your notes, and how prim and proper your writing was seemed to irk her too. then her eyes seem to dance up to your face; the way your brows creased together in slight concentration. your hair was a bit frizzy during this time of day because school was almost over, and lottie could smell your overwhelmingly girly perfume. it smells like vanilla.
“did you want to work on this at your place or mine?” you wonder out loud, the pen never leaving the paper. “yours.” lottie answers way too quickly, but thankfully you don’t say anything about it. you nod, “okay. here’s my address and the number to my landline in my room.” you say as you turn to a new page, and write your phone number and home address down. you tear the page out when your done, and hand it to lottie who says nothing as she takes it.
lottie pauses for a moment, thinking about how much she hates her house. she wonders if maybe you hate yours too. “we could work in the library if you don’t want to work at your place.” the noirette actually sounds considerate as she says this, and you look surprised for just a second, before offering this shy smile that she hadn’t seen directed at her for nearly a year and half now. “it’s okay! i don’t mind working at my place. my little sister practices the violin after school sometimes… but she’ll be quiet if i ask.” you assure her and lottie only nods in response.
“anything else you wanna warn me about?” she inquires a bit sarcastically, and you nod. “my older sister is kind of a bitch.” you say bluntly, taking lottie by surprise. she’s never once heard you curse. at all. you can’t help but laugh lightly at her reaction, “she’s not that bad though…” you trail off before the bell rings, and you immediately start putting your things into your backpack. “wait, when did you wanna start?” lottie questions, and you shrug. “whenever your free after school just come over.” you assure her and she furrows her brows as she stands up.
“but your debate club—” she starts and you cut her off, “i quit last month. i’ll see you later!” you rush out of the room before lottie can say another word. she huffs; this was going to be a horrid few weeks.
#lottie matthews#lottie matthews x fem reader#lottie matthews x reader#lottie x reader#yellowjackets#lottie x fem reader angst#lottie matthews x fem reader angst#enemies to lovers#lottie matthews x you#lottie mathews x reader#lottie matthews x y/n
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how long can we be a sad song? (till we are too far gone to bring back to life)
modern day high school au
// your girlfriend lottie has always made it clear soccer is her main priority. when nationals near and she begins ignoring you, your final straw seems to be when she lashes out at you. //
warnings: angst but kinda fluffy at the end, breakups, asshole!lottie, jock!lottie, she’s mean for like a minute lol
you let out a quiet sigh as you sit on the bleachers and watch your girlfriend and laura lee continue to practice on the soccer field. even though practice ended an hour ago. finally, laura lee announces she needs to get home, and she waves at you as she makes her way off the field. you look over at lottie who’s offering you a smile. it’s way too late to go and watch that movie in town you wanted to see, so you know now your only option is hanging out at one of your houses.
you stand up, making your way down the bleachers and over to your girlfriend. “did you still want to hang out?” lottie asks, “i’m a bit tired, maybe we can just catch the movie tomorrow?” lottie offers and you feel your entire mood sour even more than it already was. “i just waited two hours to hang out with you.” you point out, and the raven haired girl frowns. “i never asked you to wait. i told you i have to really focus on nationals.” lottie states sternly, and you nod. “i know that. i know nationals is super important to you… but you’ve blown me off for three weeks now because of it. i just thought… i don’t know, you’d make a little time for me too.” your voice is quiet, and soft. you don’t sound angry but you sound disappointed.
lottie feels a wave of guilt wash over her. “i’m sorry. tomorrow i’ll leave as soon as coach ben ends practice. promise.” she insists, sounding so sincere you actually believe her. your dismal expression is quickly replaced by a happy one. you nod, “okay. can you meet me at my place tomorrow after practice? i have a piano lesson at my house so i can’t watch you practice.” you admit and she nods, flashing you the same smile you fell in love with. “of course, babe. come on, i’ll drive you home.” she offers kindly, and your heart skips a beat as she reaches for your hand, interlocking her fingers with yours.
the next day at school you spent the entire day eager for it to end. you couldn’t wait to see the barbie movie, and you had been going on and on about how excited you were about it. you even missed going with your friends, in order to see it with lottie because she promised. after school, you give lottie a kiss goodbye and made your way to your sisters car.
what you expect after your piano lesson is lottie to text you that she’s outside and waiting for you. but what happens is you get ready for your date, and you end up waiting two hours. two hours and not a single text or call from lottie. you don’t even bother texting her more than once because you feel so emotionally exhausted. she’s been putting you aside all year for soccer, and sure, at first you understood. this could get her a scholarship… but she’s rich! she could afford to get into any school, and play on any college team…
maybe she just doesn’t want to hang out with me.
“honey, why are you all dolled up? you have plans?” your mother asks you, walking out of the kitchen wearing an apron that’s stained with some sort of red sauce. “no. not anymore. i was supposed to hang out with lottie today, but… she canceled for soccer practice again.” you confess hesitantly and your mother nods. “that girls gonna burn herself out with all the practice she does.” she comments jokingly, but you’re not in the mood to laugh. your mother realizes something is wrong right away.
“mom, do you think… do you think lottie likes soccer more than she likes me?” you question, your voice laced with insecurity. your mother laughs as if you’ve said the funniest thing on the planet. “that’s absurd, mija (sweetheart), that girl once walked all the way here just to give you flowers.” your mother reminds and you feel a pang of hurt hit your heart. “she… she just doesn’t do those things anymore. she’s always been so serious about soccer but this year? god, she’s been a nightmare. did i tell you allie broke her leg during a practice scrimmage? that’s how serious they’re taking this…” you trail off and the older woman’s eyes widen a bit at the revelation.
“she’s just a different person these days. it doesn’t feel like she likes me very much anymore.” you admit sadly, and your mother frowns. “have you talked to her about this?” she inquires uncertainly, and you nod. “not all of it, but i have told her i feel like she puts soccer before me and our relationship a lot.” you explain, “she always says it’s just in my head, and that she loves me… but she stood me up again after promising she wouldn’t and i—“ your voice cracks and your mother rushes over to you. “honey, no. this— this isn’t right. you need to talk to her about this. all of it.” the older woman says sternly, and you sniffle as you wipe a tear away. you’ve always been so sensitive and this entire situation was getting to you.
“what if— what if we break up? or what if she confirms that she does think soccer is more important? i… i don’t know if i can handle that.” you whisper the last part and the raven haired woman shakes her head. “well you’re going to have to, because the longer you let this fester, the worse you’re going to feel.” she comments stringently, causing you to look up at her with sad eyes. “y-you’re right. i’ll talk to her tomorrow.” you assure her, and just as your mother is about to respond, your phone starts vibrating.
the screen lights up with texts from lottie, and you look at your mom. “it’s her.” you say, and she shrugs. “don’t respond for a few hours. come help me with dinner, it’ll get your mind off her.” she suggests, and you press your lips together. “isn’t ignoring her just as bad?” you question and she shakes her head, “you’re just giving her a taste of her own medicine. come on; leave the phone there and come help me.” your mother insists, helping you off the couch and gesturing your towards the kitchen.
all your mother let you do was chop up some zucchini, and set the table. still, talking with her about other things than lottie was nice. and talking about lottie definitely gave you some perspective. you were definitely going to talk to your girlfriend about this, and you were going to put your foot down. you weren’t going to make her choose between you and soccer; you’d never even consider doing that. you just wanted a little time, and to maybe be prioritized a little better.
after dinner you end up going upstairs, taking a shower, washing your face, and brushing your teeth. you wander around your bedroom, nirvana blasting on your speaker as you dry your hair. your phone chimes again, signaling you got another text.
(7;56 p.m) lottie: tai made us practice late again, i’m sorry. can we reschedule?
(7;57 p.m) lottie: this saturday is all yours! i promise!
(8;12 p.m) lottie: hello?
(8;15 p.m) lottie: my texts are delivering, so i know your phones on.
(8;20 p.m) lottie: i’m really sorry about the movie
(9;33 p.m) lottie: no phone call tonight?
(9;35 p.m) you: hey, i got caught up with piano practice, and helping my mom with dinner, and then being stood up by my girlfriend
you know your response is petty, and unlike you, but you were still upset. lottie has never just pushed you aside like this, and to do it so consistently all of a sudden made you feel so bad. especially about yourself. it made you wonder if she was losing interest. if maybe she was only using soccer as an excuse to stop hanging out with you.
(9;38 p.m) lottie: well, i’m glad you’re alive. i didn’t stand you up, you know how tai gets when she decides something. i have to take nationals seriously.
you scoff at her response, and quickly get to typing.
(9;40 p.m) you: i understand that. but you’ve promised me four different times about this movie, and at this point i don’t even want to go anymore.
(9;42 p.m) lottie: i know you’re upset and i’m sorry. but if i want to win nationals i have to practice really hard. harder than usual. right now that’s my main concern
you toss your phone onto your bed, not even bothering to respond. it was like talking to a brick wall. tomorrow you’d have to face her and talk about this in person. the thought alone causes a nauseous feeling to settle in the pit of your stomach. there was this wave of dread that washes over you, and for the first time in your relationship with lottie, you feel as though you two aren’t on the same page.
the next day at school was hell for lottie. you barely spoke to her; you didn’t sit with her and the team during lunch. she knew you were upset but she didn’t think you were this upset. you’ve always been so understanding about her passion for soccer, and you’ve never acted this way before. but… then again, lottie has never taken practice this serious. she just doesn’t want to let her team down, and she can see how much the girls want this. she wants it too, but she knows they have more on the line. tai wants a scholarship, and going to nationals will look great on a college application.
you’ll get over it. lottie tells herself. that day she sees you waiting for her by the bleachers; there’s an unrecognizable expression drawn onto your features. she just finished changing into her practice clothes and cleats, and she tries to smile at you, but it doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “hey.” she says as she leans in to kiss you, but you tilt your head to the side in order for her lips to land on your cheek. “hi… we should talk. i’ll make it quick.” you promise and she nods uncertainly, a feeling of unease creeping up on her. “i don’t really like the way i’ve been feeling lately…” you start, and she opens her mouth to talk but you stop her.
“… i’ve always felt like you and i have been on the same page, but lately i just feel like your mind is strictly on soccer. for the entire year you’ve been spending extra time practicing, and you barely talk to me about anything other than it. you blow me off for practice and you’ve missed all of our date nights for the last three months.” you point out, and lottie shakes her head. “y/n, do you understand what’s at stake here? not just my future, but all of my teammates. i’m not just working this hard for me, it’s for my team. i’m sorry if you’re feeling a little ignored and craving attention, but until nationals are over, you’re just gonna have to suck it up and deal with it.” she states, sounding a bit frustrated.
you look shocked with her words; she’s never been that blunt and cruel. here you were telling her how you felt and she was being like this. lottie can see the look on your face, you look as though you’re about to cry. though she’s much too stressed to care, so instead of deciding to apologize like she normally would, she scoffs. “i don’t have time for this. every day is another problem with you. it’s getting annoying.” lottie snaps, and you try to blink away the tears as you clench your jaw. she sounds so much like her father (who she hates), it nearly makes you laugh.
“well, i’m sorry for wanting to spend some time with you. i’m sorry i actually believed you when you promised me you’d make time and put in the slightest bit of effort for me. that was clearly my mistake. don’t worry, matthews, i promise i won’t be a problem for you anymore.” you hiss, tears in your eyes as you sound angry and hurt. lottie watches you leave and she stands there, feeling like a complete asshole. before she can even consider chasing after you, coach ben blows his whistle, signaling for all the girls to get on the field.
so here’s the thing, when you promised lottie you wouldn’t be a ‘problem’ anymore, she wasn’t exactly sure what you meant. but the next day, you came to school with a small box of her things in your hands. you march right up to her, there was nothing but determination on your face. lottie wasn’t stupid; she knew what this meant and it causes her heart rate to pick up anxiously. “the rest of your stuff you can come pick up whenever. it was too big to bring to school.” you say, keeping your voice quiet so no one can hear. lottie looks like a kicked puppy, “wh-what do you mean?“ you almost feel bad about the clear fear in her tone as she realizes she’s losing you.
“it didn’t fit in the box, so you can come and pick it up whenever.” you repeat more clearly, as if you hadn’t been clear as day the first time. “i know that… i just mean— why are you giving me my stuff back?” she asks, completely afraid of the answer. you don’t respond, and the silence tells her everything. “you’re breaking up with me over a fight?” she asks a bit angrily, and you shake your head; your poker face faltering. “i’m breaking up with you because you act like you don’t want to be with me! i’m not asking you to stop prioritizing soccer, i just wanted a little effort, lottie. you couldn’t even give me that.” you point out, pushing the box into her arms.
“like i said, you can pick up your other stuff whenever you’re not too busy.” you practically hiss at her, before you turn around and leave her standing there. lottie feels as though she’s been slapped in the face. the one person she had figured would always be there, was now walking away from her and disappearing into the hoard of bustling students. natalie, who had been watching the entire ordeal from her locker, walks up to lottie. “what was that about? it looked serious…” natalie starts cautiously, trying to make sure her best friend is okay. lottie looks worse than when becky martin started telling the entire school about lottie being schizophrenic. but you were there for her throughout all of that; never caring about her diagnosis or thinking of her any differently. she was always your lottie. but now she wasn’t your anything.
lottie starts to tear up, and natalie’s eyes widen at the sight of the broken-hearted girl. “she dumped me.” lottie admits in a frail tone, a tone natalie has never heard from the raven haired girl. “shit… seriously? what happened?” natalie asks, and lottie proceeds to tell her best friend everything. she tells her all about how she began neglecting you at the begin of the year, and you being you, always let it slide. yet as she became more and more emotionally and physically unavailable, she began leaving you alone.
she tells natalie about how these last few weeks she was a total nightmare. she even forgot to text you some days. natalie looks shocked at this revelation; you two always seemed like such a great couple. you hadn’t even let anyone know there was trouble in paradise. the bell rings, and natalie clasps lottie’s wrists and begins to lead her towards the schools exit. natalie knew the last thing her friend needed was to be surrounded by a bunch of annoying students in class.
as soon as they get to the bottom of the bleachers, natalie flashes her a stern look.
“alright matthews, you screwed up, but i’m gonna help you fix it.” lottie looks shocked at natalie’s declaration, and she shakes her head. “why? why do you wanna help me?” she questions, and natalie shrugs. “you’re my best friend. plus y/n is a good person who actually gives a shit about you. you’re never gonna forgive yourself if you don’t fix it.” natalie’s voice is stern, and lottie nods in agreement.
“what should i do?” the yellowjackets sweeper asks uncertainly, and natalie offers her a mischievous smirk. “i have an idea that could work.” natalie admits, as she begins to give lottie a list of ways she could romance you. lottie listens, clearly very interested.
that weekend is the hardest. lottie has never gone longer than a day without hearing your beautiful voice. you two never really fought throughout your relationship; you learned pretty early into your friendship with lottie that her home life was mean and harsh enough. you never dared add any hurt to her life. when lottie was upset she quickly realized she could talk to you about anything; you were so easy to open up to, and no matter what you were doing you always made time for her.
the entire weekend lottie feels like trash. she realizes that she doesn’t even know how you’re doing. you two barely broke up, yet it feels like she hasn’t truly talked to you for months. god, maybe she was a terrible girlfriend. she put soccer before you, and now she doesn’t even feel like going to practice. though she knows she has to. she has an obligation to her friends and team… but she can’t help but feel like she let you down, and you didn’t know it but you were one of the most important people in her life.
now she fears that if none of natalie’s ideas work, she’ll lose you for sure. she’s tried to text you nearly every day since the breakup on friday, but you refuse to answer any of her texts. she even tried calling you on saturday night, but you didn’t pick up. when monday rolls around lottie comes to school with a huge bouquet of sunflowers and red roses. your two favorites. she hasn’t felt this nervous since she first asked you to be her girlfriend, except right now she knew you didn’t want to talk to her or even see her.
everyone looks at the raven haired girl as soon as she walks into school. surely everyone knows about your breakup by now, because mari is your best friend and she also seems to have the biggest mouth. not to mention she had been glaring at lottie all throughout practice on friday evening. she could tell you told mari everything and by the looks she was receiving she could tell everyone else knew now too.
as soon as she sees you standing by your locker talking to mari and akilah, mari’s eyes zero in on the tall raven haired girl making her way up to you. your best friend taps on you, and nods in lottie’s direction. you turn your head, and instead of your eyes lighting up at the sight of her and the bouquet, your large orbs fill with dread. her step falters a bit but she keeps her head high as she approaches you. “y/n… these are for you. i’m really sorry.” lottie’s voice is small, and you shake your head.
“they’re beautiful, but they aren’t going to fix anything.” you deadpan and lottie frowns. “i know that. but i thought maybe they could be the first step to fixing things?” she suggests and you glance at akilah and mari. you reach for lottie’s free hand and lead her to a secluded spot in the hall. “why are you doing this here? in front of everyone?” you ask her with supplicating eyes, and she knits her brows together. “because you won’t return my calls, and i haven’t stopped thinking about you. y/n, if you’d hear me out, i know i could fix this.” she pleads with you, and those eyes nearly make you cave.
you quickly remind yourself how you both ended up here, causing you to shut your eyes and take a breath. when you open them, lottie has a hopeful expression etched onto her features. “i gave you plenty of chances to fix it when we were together. for the last two months i’ve given you nothing but chances. you told me time and time again that soccer was your priority, and i respect that. so please respect my decision and leave me alone.” you whisper the last part a bit harshly as you turn around and storm away.
lottie stands there, heartbroken and ashamed. she looks at the flowers that seem to be taunting her. she crushes the stems in her hand as she approaches the nearest trash bin, tossing them in. so much for flowers and a heartfelt apology. lottie feels like a fool for even trying.
a week goes by and lottie is practically a walking zombie. she’s barely been eating or sleeping. she was so used to falling asleep on facetime with you, or falling asleep texting you… now she can barely get a wink of sleep. all she can think about is how mean to you she was the day before you two broke up. god, she can’t get that sad, puppy dog expression you flashed her out of her head.
“come on, lottie! where’s your head at!?” tai snaps in the middle of a scrimmage. lottie had been paying less attention to anything that didn’t have to do with you these days. it’s ironic, it took her losing you to realize what she had. her notes for her classes were empty lately, her parents didn’t even notice she was barely saying a word at home, and practice was the worst. lottie was so used to seeing you in the bleachers during most of her practices; you’d be watching her with this big smile on your face, or doing homework. you always looked so pretty. now you weren’t there and lottie never realized how happy seeing you sitting on those bleachers made her. how important she felt that you spent time watching her practice because you didn’t want to be away from her.
lottie doesn’t get her head in the game even after being yelled at by tai. in the locker room, its worse. “what the hell, lottie?? we’re this close to winning nationals and you choose now to start slacking??” tai asks harshly, natalie steps in before lottie can respond. “hey, leave her alone she’s had a shitty week.” natalie states sternly and tai rolls her eyes. “so have all of us! newsflash, the world doesn’t stop because lottie matthews is going through a breakup. we’re a team, meaning you need to get your mind together and focus on the game.” tai’s voice is angry and demanding.
lottie feels a surge of rage wash over her. “not everything is about soccer!” she snaps back loudly, taking the curly haired girl and most of the girls by surprise. “god, you’re all so worked up over this fucking game next week that we’ve all been nightmares! jackie, you and shauna have been at each offers throats for weeks, tai you’ve barely talked to van about anything other than nationals, laura lee has been praying to god for nothing but us winning, mar’s been a bigger cunt than usual, natalie is stress drinking again, and my girlfriend dumped me because i was ignoring her for months! for a sport i used to have fun playing, with a team who used to actually give a shit about each other!” lottie lets it all pour out like a leaky faucet, and everyone stands there dumbfounded by the outburst.
“lottie—“ tai starts but lottie slams her locker shut. “fuck this.” she hisses as she swings her nike duffle bag over her shoulder and storms out of the locker room. she doesn’t even bother changing out of her uniform. lottie’s blood is boiling and her teeth are gritting all the way to her car. she feels as though in a week her entire life has spiraled downhill. she’s been downhill more times than she can count, but she’s never been there without you. this sucks.
she seems to be so upset that she doesn’t even realize she’s driving in the direction of your house. she feels so lost, and it seems she ended up where she feels the safest. with you. lottie aimlessly approaches your door; she’s still in her soccer uniform and her hair is in loose pigtails. the way you always said made her look undeniably cute. she knocks on the door and looks down at her dirty cleats. she thinks about how unhappy you’re probably going to look to see her; she isn’t used to that. she hates it.
her eyes well up with tears and she sniffles, the door swings open before she can think to cover up the fact that she was crying. you had seen her through the peephole, putting on your best angry face before you answered the door. but as soon as you saw the broken girl in front of you, and you heard the sad little sniffle, your face softens immediately. “are you okay?” even though you know it’s a dumb question, you still ask because you don’t want to sound harsh. she doesn’t look like she needs anymore of that.
“i— i didn’t know where else to go.” she admits lowly, roughly wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. you give in quickly, stepping aside for her to come in. “what happened?” you ask her as she steps inside, taking her shoes off politely in a way that makes you smile. even in her sad state, she still remembers your mothers rules. “i got into a fight with tai… you were right, lately we’ve all been terrible. i’ve been terrible. to you especially. i’m really sorry, y/n.” she sounds sincere and sad, you can see her staring hopelessly at you; waiting for you to say something.
you press your lips together before letting out a sigh, turning your head away from her. “it’s okay. i understand. nationals are a lot of pressure, and i just think maybe right now it’s better if we’re just friends. i want a normal relationship, and i want my girlfriend to be as excited about prom as i am. i want to be able to go to the movies and have date nights without worrying about getting in the way of your schedule. i just think we want different things now.” you explain, trying to keep your voice light but she can hear the sadness laced through your tone clear as day.
lottie shakes her head rapidly, standing up and inching towards you. “i want those things too. i love our date nights, and you never get in the way of my schedule. i promise. i am excited about prom— at least i was… when i knew i was going with you.” lottie’s response is quiet and low, making you frown. “you never even asked me to prom, lot. it’s next month!” you point out and lottie flashes you those puppy eyes you could never resist when you were together. why does she have to be so cute?
“please go to prom with me.” she insists and before you can decline, and goes on. “i want to prove to you we still want the same things! if you still don’t want to be with me after prom… okay. i’ll respect your decision. but you have to let me try. please.” lottie sounds desperate, and she’s borderline begging. you let out sharp exhale, “fine. fine. i’ll go to prom with you, matthews. but i swear to god if you mess this up again, we’re done.” you warn her and she nods eagerly, reaching for your hands.
“i promise! i’m not gonna let you down this time!” she swears as she leans in and places a kiss on your cheek. “this times gonna be different.” she assures you, and you allow her to pull you in for a hug. you melt into her embrace, and you hesitantly wrap your arms around her. you can’t hope but help she’s telling you the truth this time. you suppose the only thing you can do is wait and see.
#lottie matthews x fem reader angst#lottie matthews x fem reader#lottie matthews x you#lottie x fem reader angst#lottie x reader#lottie matthews x reader#lottie matthews x y/n#lottie matthews#lottie matthews icons#lottie matthews angst#yellowjackets#lottie mathews x reader
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fallingforyou (2)
// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //
warnings: asshole!lottie, sweet!reader, enemies to lovers, allusions to lottie’s shitty home life, lottie doesn’t know how to deal with her emotions. i picked random names for y/n’s siblings lol.
(this is part 2 of the series, read part 1 here.)
i read between the lines (i’ll take it one day at a time)
when you tell lottie ‘whenever’, you didn’t actually think she’d show up unannounced on wednesday evening. she’s wearing her soccer practice clothes, and her hair is tied in the usual pigtails it always is in whenever she practices. “y-you’re here.” you stutter a bit stupidly; you’re wearing an oversized sweatshirt and biker shorts that are so short lottie assumes you aren’t wearing any pants. your glasses are off, and your hair is let down in unruly curls. she’s never seen you so… unguarded. she isn’t used to it. usually you’re wearing some girly outfit and those glasses that are almost as dorky as misty quigley’s.
“you told me to come whenever. it’s whenever.” lottie blurts out, as she attempts to walk past you but she stops herself. “sorry.” she mutters as she leans down to untie her cleats. you shake your head quickly, stopping her, “oh it’s okay! you don’t have to do that, my mom doesn’t care about shoes.” you assure her and lottie slowly stands up straight, stopping herself from taking her cleats off. her parents would reprimand her time and time again for wearing shoes in the house. she always thought the rule was stupid, considering her parents didn’t even clean their house. the maids did it for them.
right away lottie notices your house is very loud. there are two younger boys watching tv in the living room, screaming as they talked to each other. “those are my brothers. ignore them. i do.” you dismissively explain as you begin to lead lottie towards the hallway. you stop halfway, turning to gaze at her, “did you want anything to drink? i have soda, water, apple juice…” you trail off, and lottie’s cheeks tint. she’s thirsty; she just finished practicing after all. she nods, “apple juice.” she answers. you nod as you rush to the kitchen, leaving her standing alone.
“y/n!!” a loud, angry, feminine voice from the end of the hall causes lottie to look over in the direction it’s coming from. she sees an older girl standing by an open bedroom, waiting for you to respond. “y/n!!” she shouts again, “she’s in the kitchen.” lottie answers bluntly, in order to avoid from hearing the college student shriek again. “i was getting juice! do you have to yell so loudly?” you ask cattily, in a tone lottie has never heard from you. lottie immediately remembers what you said the other day, about your older sister being a bitch.
your older sister marches up to you, fury in her eyes and for a second lottie is afraid the older girl might punch you in the face. “i need you to tell me if this outfit makes me look fat.” she says sternly and lottie watches the interaction in shock, as you shake your head. “no, i think it’s cute— hey is that my top!?” you shriek, and the older girl lets out a tinkling laugh as she rushes away and retreats back into one of the bedrooms. “elise!! i haven’t even worn that yet!“ you whine, but the only response you get is more obnoxious laughter.
you sigh, handing lottie a glass of cold apple juice. “i told you she’s a bitch.” you point out as you begin to lead lottie down the hallway. the room all the way at the end is yours, and as soon as lottie walks in she sees all the books on your shelves above your bed. she then notices how pink your bedsheets are, and how much color there is around the room. it’s not too much color, but it’s clear you’re unintentionally a very colorful person. there are polaroid pictures of you and your siblings around the room; some on your desk, some pinned on the wall. you even have a few of you and nat.
lottie sees the baby pictures and the ones of you and your older sister as babies in a bath tub together. another little girl who looks just like you seems to appear in the pictures after elise is already three, and you’re one. then after that, the little girl is by your side in every picture; practically glued to your side. you always look so happy in each snapped moment, even in the ones you aren’t smiling in, your eyes show you’re happy and safe. another thing lottie realizes she envies about you. your house is twice as small as hers, with twice as many people… it’s loud and the living room is messy…
… yet lottie likes your house more than hers, and she’s only been here for ten minutes. maybe that’s why natalie’s always over here; always talking about hanging out at your place after parties. you never went to any parties… lottie’s only seen you at one and after that you didn’t come to any more. you’ve never shown up at any of hers that’s for sure. “that’s my little sister.” you interrupt her thoughts, as you notice her eyeing the pictures. “you two look… close.” she observes, and you giggle as you take a seat on your bed, reaching for your backpack on the floor. “yeah, don’t tell elise but sabrina was technically my first friend ever. i tell her everything.” you admit and lottie nods.
“i’ve seen her around school. i didn’t even know she was your sister.” she confesses, causing you to shrug. “she’s working on being the most ‘popular’ girl in school. she’s been a little busy.” you half joke and lottie nods, “she’s on the jv cheer team, right?” she asks curiously as you flip open your chemistry notebook. “yup. she’s been following becky martin around like a puppy since the year started.” you answer curtly and lottie snorts at the obvious change in your tone. “what? jealous your little sister is becoming more popular than you?” she questions with a taunting sneer, and you frown.
“no, i don’t care about that. sabrina is pretty, of course she’s gonna be more popular. i just don’t think she needs to be like becky martin to do it.” you explain, and lottie is a bit surprised by the truthfulness of your response, and before she can reply, you’re beating her to it. “so i was thinking you could do all the physical presenting, and i can just recite everything and write it all. of course you’re gonna help by giving me your ideas and what you think…” you trail off, before looking at her. “is that okay with you?” you inquire, and she nods. “yeah, that’s fine. whatever.” she sounds like she doesn’t care and this makes you shake your head, holding yourself back from saying something snarky.
lottie isn’t the only one who gets snappy when she’s annoyed, you’re just better at biting your tongue than she is.
over the next few days, lottie shows up at your house after practice ends, and she stays until after the sun sets. she doesn’t mean to stay for that long. the first day she came over, she genuinely just lost track of time. for some reason being around you isn’t as torturous as she thought it would be. in fact, being around you, especially in a cozy home that seems full of lightheartedness and noise… is shockingly nice. particularly because she knows what’s waiting for her at home. absolutely nothing.
right away the other yellowjackets notice a change in lottie’s behavior. she isn’t snappy or angry anymore; sure she still talks shit whenever someone tries her, but that’s how lottie’s always been. natalie is the first who notices lottie isn’t scowling or grumpy anymore. mari is especially thankful for it during soccer practice. “so, y/n told me you’ve actually been a decent human being to her.” natalie starts, as she walks out of the locker room with lottie. it’s monday, and practice had just ended a little later than expected.
“if that’s what she wants to call it, then yeah, sure.” lottie mutters, as she makes her way to the parking lot. “hey, before you go, y/n told me to tell you not to show up to her house today. something came up.” natalie causes lottie to stop in her tracks, not even caring that her driver was waiting for her in the car. “what do you mean? she didn’t tell me anything.” lottie says and natalie chuckles, “said she couldn’t find you after lunch.” the blonde’s response is simple yet it doesn’t seem to satisfy lottie. “what came up? she literally said she was free every day after school.” lottie sounds annoyed now.
natalie looks a bit puzzled for a second, before a wave of realization hits her. “wait… are you actually upset you can’t go to y/n’s today? i figured you’d be thrilled.” natalie says in this unrecognizable way that makes lottie glare. “i’m not upset about anything! excuse me if i just want to get this project over with.” lottie hisses defensively, and natalie only smirks in response. “uh, okay matthews; whatever you say. just don’t show up at her house today, okay?” she asks warningly, making lottie roll her eyes. “i heard you the first time.” the raven haired girl snaps.
and just like that, lottie’s bad mood returns. who would’ve guessed that charlotte isobel matthews would actually enjoy being in your cramped house, and inside of your girly bedroom.
lottie knows you didn’t cancel yesterday on purpose. she knows you’ve been smiling more at her in the hallways, and she knows she’s definitely been nicer to you over the last few days than she ever has in her high school career. maybe it’s because instead of being stuck in her big empty house after school, she’s spending her days cramped up in your room, or noisy living room… the smell of whatever your mother had made for lunch still lingering in the air. lottie enjoyed it. perhaps that’s why the next day at school she takes her bad mood out on you. she bumps shoulders with you when you try to talk to her in the hall, walking past you as if she didn’t even hear you.
she didn’t even look back to see the frown on your face. you couldn’t help but feel confused and a bit sad; you figured you both were over this silly, pointless feud. this stupid, meaningless battle. but it was like lottie had other ideas. right when you thought you two were on the same page, she proved to you that you weren’t even reading the same book. you try not to think about lottie the entire day, but it’s hard. you notice her at lunch; she doesn’t even look at you. that isn’t abnormal, but she has this everlasting scowl on her face. when fifth period finally rolls around, you can’t help but feel a bundle of nerves budding inside the pit of your stomach. seeing lottie matthews always has this affect on you.
lottie’s already in class when you walk in, and this time, her head tilts to the side, and her dark eyes lock with yours. your breath gets lodged in your windpipe, and your step falters on your way to your seat. you try your absolute hardest not to look at lottie, or her insufferably pretty face. you take your note book and chemistry book out, along with a pencil, before averting your gaze forward. (even though the class hasn’t even started yet.)
the bell rings, and the rest of the students shuffle in, taking a seat before your teacher starts blabbering on and on. it’s usually easy to keep yourself busy during class; easy to focus… but for some reason, sharing a class with lottie matthews seems to be a curse. you can never seem to concentrate fully. when someone taps on your back, you turn around and jenny myers hands you a folded note. you furrow your eyebrows, as she gestures to lottie who’s not even bothering to look at you. you take the note and face forward again.
“you skipping out on me again today?”
you turn your head to glare at the raven haired jock after reading the note. she only smirks at your clearly agitated expression, feeling a wave of satisfaction at being the one to frustrate you. you quickly look down at the note, and scribble something back.
“i was at my grandmas house yesterday. sorry, jerk.”
you pass the note back to lottie, and you avert your attention onto ms. weinstein again who is now talking about another subject. you mentally curse lottie matthews for being so fucking distracting.
#yellowjackets#lottie matthews x reader#lottie x fem reader angst#lottie matthews x fem reader#lottie matthews#lottie matthews angst#lottie matthews x you#lottie x reader#lottie matthews x y/n#lottie matthews icons#enemies to lovers#lottie mathews x reader#lottie yellowjackets
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♥︎- romance
✸- platonic
✰- fluff
✄-angst
✧- contains/is smut (18+)
✾- request
- Lottie Matthews SWF Alphabet - Ao3 Tumblr (1/1)♥︎✰✄
- Lottie Matthews NSWF Alphabet - Ao3 Tumblr (1/1)♥︎✰✄✧
- Flower stems for Heartstrings - Lottie Matthews (1996/2021) x fem!reader - Ao3 Tumblr (1/1) ♥︎✰✄✾
y/n finds evidence of her teenage best friend (and secret crush) being alive after all, and a possible way of finding her thanks to modern internet and goes on a personal quest to find her and the truth, all while reminiscing about their teen years...
- Bean Sprout - Lottie Matthews (2021) x fem!reader - Ao3 Tumblr (2/-) ♥︎✰✧
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
You've been happily married to Charlotte Matthews for some odd years now, but it feels like it's time to take a step in a new direction together... aka mama!Lottie
#lottie matthews#lottie matthews x reader#lottie Matthews x y/n#lottie matthews fanfic#lottie Matthews fanfiction#masterlist#masterlist navigation#fanfic masterlist#navigation
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