#lookism angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lookismfanfics · 7 months

Text

𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞

Jake Kim Fic.

Notes: I will give you no warnings and I fully expect you all to question my mental stability. (Y/N) is AFAB

Something was different about Jake’s mornings now. He had a new mattress, set an alarm, and did live in a small apartment. That’s not what he meant though. It was a different feeling. A sudden jolt in his stomach and a slight panic whenever he awoke. It only lasted a few seconds before he returned to his numb state of consciousness. A sight panic. It wasn’t immediate… in fact a few minutes into his morning routine always passed before he felt it. Suddenly he’s come to the realization that he was alone, but not completely.

He wasn’t used to waking up, glancing over his shoulder, and discovering a warm bundle of… a person… laying beside him. It still weighed on him. He wasn’t looking after just himself anymore. He had bigger responsibilities than just Big Deal. He’d avoid it like the plague at first. Slip out of bed as quietly as he could. His feet heavily padding against the floor as he stumbled into the kitchen. Make breakfast, style his hair, get dressed, and then wake the kid. That was the routine.

Jake would help him into his high chair. A high chair Jake hadn’t bought and still struggled to use. He fumbled with the bib, but eventually the kid had it on and he could give him whatever breakfast there was. He knew, deep down, helping a toddler wasn’t that hard. Especially when he was sleepy still. Jerry could strap him into that high chair in a heartbeat. Somehow Jake couldn’t. Everyone else seemed more capable of caring for the little tyke except for Jake. And he wasn’t sure how to feel about that, especially since the kid lived with him. Even if the kid didn’t have much stuff to begin with, Jake was happy some items around the house gave him comfort. Items lying around that normally only added to the clutter.

Samuels old jacket; Golden Age pictures; Samuel’s old cigarettes; magazines of women’s clothes; some of Jake’s cologne. The kid loved those things, and Jake knew why. He missed the kid’s dad, too.

Strapping the kid into the car was difficult, too. Jakes fingers fumbled with the baby-seat-straps. Sinu’s car held a lot of memories, especially in the back seat. It smelled of cigarettes back there. Just a little though. Stale cigarettes- Jake didn’t smoke. “Smells like daddy.” “Yeah, it does,” Jake smiles.

Jake smiles a lot for the kid. The kid does make him smile… naturally. Jake walks around, feeling numb and hollow. He goes through the motions. He leaves the kid with the ladies of Big Deal street, and naturally that lifts some weight off his shoulders. There’s only one downside. “Jake! Today we was… folding clothes. And they said ‘just like… yer mama!’ And I said ‘yes!’” The kid slurs his words together before waddling up to Jake and wrapping his chubby arms around Jake’s legs. “Mama mama…”

Another thing that leaves Jake feeling empty, maybe even confused. He never fuels the topic. On the ride home he’ll listen to the jumbled, mumbled words of the toddler, nodding and smiling, giving soft “wow”s in reply. The baby mentions his dad and Jake stops smiling. The baby mentions his mom and Jake asks him to be quiet for a minute. Politely of course. The kid stares out the window.

Jake could ghost the hallways of his apartment for hours. He can spend the rest of eternity clawing for some warmth and wondering why he feels so lonely. He could dodge phone calls for months, not speak to anyone for years, stay by himself for as long as he needs until he’s healed. In reality, he can’t do any of that. Not when he crawls into bed at midnight, then turns in the covers to see the kid already in there. Warm little guy, wearing his pajamas already, pudgy cheeks smushed into the pillows. Jake can’t process anything when he’s a godfather. He didn’t even know it until the parents were gone. He wishes he could hear Samuel’s bitter voice asking, gruffly, reluctantly, if Jake would accept the position. Jake would have said yes. He would’ve done anything for him, especially if it would’ve filled this void of confusion and emptiness he feels right now. When did Samuel ever decide he still trusted Jake? When had he ever agreed to (Y/N)’s insistent arguments? Jake wanted to know so badly. He wanted to hear their voices, in person, asking him. Telling him. He wanted to feel their presence. They didn’t have to touch him… he just wanted to feel that they were really there. Something, anything, because Jake was goddamn lonely. He felt so sick; so empty; so horrible. How could he be expected to heal? How could he move on. How… when that little Samuel lay beside him in bed? How… when that miniature (Y/N) tried his hardest to please him, tried his hardest to make Jake smile.

How was Jake supposed to heal, when instead of the kid wailing about missing his parents, it’s the godfather sobbing into his pillow in the middle of the night. How can he teach the kid to walk on his own, when Jake himself can hardly crawl? Jake doesn’t want to participate in this kid’s life when all it seems to do is drain his own. When did he become such a pity-party? When did Jake Kim become such a sour wuss? Maybe it was the moment his hands went numb. His body tingled and his stomach dropped. His mind shut off. But he was crying. He was crying a lot. The moment when everyone froze… everyone panicked, because their boss was crying.

Jake didn’t want to be alone in this apartment. He didn’t want to have to wake up, eat some breakfast, and then realize he had to make another serving for someone else’s kid. He didn’t want to sit in silent solace, waiting for some form of comfort to come to him. He didn’t want to be alone. He wished he wasn’t so adept at hiding his emotions. He wanted help. He wanted Jerry’s help… maybe; or else Lua’s help. Or maybe he wanted a long talk with Jason or Lineman. Maybe he just wanted to sit quietly with Brad. It all sounded so nice. Nostalgic. The only activity that actually excited him… made him feel warm inside… was being with Sinu. But not just Sinu. Of course, Jake wished for the impossible. He would kill to stand, just the three of them on the pier. Sinu, Samuel, and Jake.

He wanted to hug (Y/N) again. He wanted to feel their touch, smell their hair, listen to their voice. He loved (Y/N). The way they laughed, the way they whispered. The way they confided in Jake about everything. About Samuel… about being pregnant.

Jake wanted Sammy. He had stopped using the nickname in his head… but he realized that it was the only name that felt right.

Jake didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt the teardrops on his pillow. He felt two little hands shaking him. He heard a trembling voice. “Jake…” Iseul sniffled. (Y/N) had picked the name out. Jake loved it. He sat upright, wiping away at his tears hastily. It was hard to get toddlers to stop crying… he had no idea how the kid would react to seeing him cry.

”Y-Yeah, what is it buddy?” Jake wipes his nose and smiles serenely. Like plastic. Iseul crawls into Jake’s lap, lighter than expected. His head leans against Jake’s chest and the kid’s little hands attempt to grip onto his shoulders. “Please don’t cry… please. I’m sorry I make you cry.”

“You don’t make me cry,” Jake assures, his brows shooting upward in surprise. “I was just feeling a little… it’s nothing kiddo.”

Jake is a bad parent. He’s a bad parent to Samuel’s kid. In his head he knows he could do better, yet his body doesn’t seem able to function like a proper parent. “Yeah I do…” Iseul nods, his face rubbing up and down on Jake’s sleeping shirt. “Cuz I look like daddy.”

Jake feels his throat tightening. “Yeah you do.” His voice feels hoarse. Lips trembling, he plants a soft kiss against the kid’s head. A miniature best friend. The person Jake has been craving for. He smooths back Iseul’s dark head of hair. If they styled it a bit he’s look exactly like his dad.

“I miss my mommy and daddy.” Jake feels wet droplets on his shirt. He has to close his eyes to steady his breathing, not at all prepared for this conversation.

Tiny, pudgy hands form fists. Iseul pounds his hands against Jake’s chest, screaming and begging to have his parents back. His little body shakes as he demands for his parents. A feeble voice shouts for them back, and Jake can’t answer.

This goes on for a couple minutes. Jake forgot to breathe. He didn’t realize all his replies were muddled by his own sobs.

The kid calms down, eyes red and bloodshot and tiny body heaving for air. Jake wraps his arms around Iseul tighter. “Iseul I’m so sorry… that I can’t do anything about that. Really. If I could I would bring your parents back. But they’re de… they’re d-” he pauses for a few seconds.

“Your parents are gone. And I know neither of us are really yet but… I’m as good of a dad as you’re gonna get.” He apologizes in his head if he sucks at it.

The kid sleeps. Jake does too. Tired from crying, tired from hiding his feelings. He doesn’t feel ready to move on. But… he’s got a kid now.

Sorry

#This is the biggest angst brainrot EVER #Sorry Jake 🤧#Jake Kim #lookism webtoon #lookism #lookism manhwa #samuel seo #Jake Kim angst #Big Deal #Big deal angst #Lookism AU #Death AU #Samuel Seo angst #Lookism angst #Lookism fanfic #(Y/N)#afab reader #Unedited af

60 notes · View notes

magewritesstories · 2 months

Text

Taejun when I catch you Taejun

i am sobbing, crying, dying on the floor HELP— they all need so much hugs and therapy i cant even

#lookism #lookism eli jang #eli jang #lookism reaction #lookism angst #eli jang x reader #hostel #lookism hostel #lookism thoughts #lookism webtoon #daniel park #wareen chae #lookism warren chae #olly wang #heather #fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckk #crying sobbing dying

32 notes · View notes

heongiu · 1 year

Note

hiii! i loveeee ur writing! can u pls make part 2 of the james lee angst?

Thankyou for the request anon! Ahhh!! James Lee I don't know but I can never write him as well as others he's just such a mysterious character! But I'll try my best.

This is more of a past story so!

James Lee x Reader Angst part II

~~~~~

"I fucking hate you" you still stood there, yelling any type of curse you could at the pink haired man

"get her out from here, then bring her to me" He told his bodyguards to escort you out of here, because all you did was spread hate, well to him "unnecessary hate"

"Hey! Where are you taking me" the bodyguards reached for you, grabbing you and quickly moving you out of there. They brought you to an empty warehouse nearby, tying you to a pole somewhere inside there.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" You yelled for help, but no one was willing to.

"James you fucking bastard" You knew he was the one who decided that you should be brought here. Maybe he had some unfinished business with you.

"there's no point in taking a revenge against me" He walked towards you, his voice echoing.

"Fuck off, I don't care what you say" You replied to him, as stubborn as ever, not backing even an inch down.

"So be it, you'll suffer eventually, just like the rest of them" He said, his cold tone sent shivers down your spine, but you could never choose to forgive him even if you were dying in front of him.

"But why did you do that to me?" You cried, your feelings taking over you. You were overwhelmed, You wish it never happened this way.

He remained silent, it was the best for him to just stay silent at your misery.

"Tell me!! Why would you do that James?... Why.." Your voice was breaking as you tried to stop your tears.

He had stomped on your heart, crushed ever piece of it and pretended as he had never done it.

What a maniac. Living in his own carefree world without any fear, sure he was the strongest you supposed.

"I want to know why you did that.." you kept questioning him, not even stopping for a second, and why should you when you had all the chance to.

"Because,"

"because what?"

"because I had loved you too"

Silence grew stronger between you both. If he had always loved you, why did he pretend to be that way?

Why did he leave you like a mess? If he really loved you.

You were untied, you stood up, facing the pink haired man, looking directly into his irises.

"and if you really loved me"

You sobbed, crossing your arms together in disappoint and anger.

"you would've never done that"

You walked away from the warehouse, still an emotional wreck from all that had happened before.

His expressions softened as he watched you leave.

~~~~~~

(Sorry for the bad writing atm I'm very busy and too worked up but I'll try to stay consistent on Tumblr with my requests!)

#james lee x reader #james lee #lee jihoon x reader #lee jihoon #lookism #dg #lookism manhwa #lookism x reader #lookism angst

81 notes · View notes

plopifuee · 2 years

Text

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

— DANIEL PARK X GN!READER

Note Rewrote my old attempt, thanks to my friend. For helping me also SPOILERS.

Warning non-proofread, very short cuz I can’t think for shit, gender-neutral!Reader, character-death & angst.

Starved and fatigued.

Oh goodness, how much he missed you. he stared at the white ceiling, which only be blinded by the bright lab light. Everything is blurry in his vision.

Why must it have to end like this? He wished he could see you sooner before he’s going to go.

You were ethereal and precious. You never judged him for who he was nor’ what he looked like.

Daniel was a very overprotective partner, without a doubt. Since he’s involved in a fight and creates some enemies along the way. Plus he’s probably aware of it though.

All he wanted was to keep you safe, he always made sure that you were happy and avoided things that may make you feel sad.

A single thought of you made his heart race, making him feel alive once again, away from the dangerous and risky life he walked on a tight rope on.

He always felt that you were too good for him, the one and only only salvation he had. And on top of that, he truly adores you.

He promised you, he will get home. However, that promise is just a Lie.

IS ABOUT DRIVE IS ABOUT POWE-

#/@@@.drowsy!!#lookism x reader #lookism #daniel park #daniel park x reader #lookism headcanons #lookism angst

176 notes · View notes

bigdealsgoddog · 1 year

Note

🆎️ scenario of Gun and Goo, Reader is there also but all thier📱dead scenario.

Hell yeah! Now just to let y’all know I will take as much creative liberty as I can with the prompts, please specify if any of these prompts you want to be more angsty/fluffy/funny

Cw: angst, blood, stabbing, fighting.reader!implied death

There was a lot of them. A lot more than gun and goo thought they could handle. Well, correct that. They handled them for the most part just fine. It was you they were worried about.

During the fight, somehow it got out that the pair had a particular soft spot for you. So of course, more of the goons went after you instead of focusing on gun or goo, the easier target. You were able to fight back for the most part all in your own, but you weren’t gun or goo. You had slashes and bruises all over your body, the most concerning being the dark red stain slowly growing on your shirt.

Goo was staring at you wide eyed once the last man fell, seeing you stagger back after you pulled out the blade that was in your stomach. Oh that’s why your shirt was going red-gun rushed over quickly as you fell, catching you before you could hit the ground. Goo rushed over to your side, panicking as he tried to tear up his shirt. Your vision has gone almost completely fishbowl at this point, the world seeming to slow down as you touched your stomach and pulled your hand away, seeing the blood covering it.

“Oh. That’s a lot of blood.” You chuckled weakly as gun glared down at you “this isn’t the time to be making jokes (y/n)-goo hurry up and put pressure on the wound!”

“I’m hurrying you bastard!” Goo had done his best to wrap your stomach before applying pressure to your wound. Gun had gently laid you down on the ground to give goo an easier time and so he could call the ambulance. Your eyes were slowly closing, trying to drift off but goo shook you, trying to keep you awake. “No (y/n) you gotta stay awake! This can’t be like Goo ga kill-I can’t lose anyone close to me for character development!” He cried out, making you smile and shake your head slightly. Before your vision fully faded out, you gently patted goos hand “don’t worry-I’ve handled…worse…” you could hear goo practically screaming as gun came over, trying to wake you up but their voices faded to black before they could reach you.

#lookism #lookism angst #lookism gun #lookism goo

37 notes · View notes

tennypress · 4 months

Text

MINORS DNI

WARNING: angst, jaegyon is red flag, gender neutral reader

“I dug my key into the side (into the side), of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive. Carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights (both headlights), slashed a hole in all four tires. Maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats…”

“Baby please it was an honest mistake” he says nonchalantly on the phone. You can hear him drive in that stupid car if his.

“Honest, HONEST?!?! What me seeing you with another girl in the car was an “Honest” mistake Jaegyon?!

“Oh cmon , it was probably another guy-“ “What, some other guy has another car that has another red and blue car that states NO MORE CONFIRM on their car, REALLY?” You say over the phone clearly pissed as you packed your shit. He tried to make an excuse but failed to do so.

You just leave his apartment as you make sure you had everything before throwing the key he gave you on the couch as you take your luggage to your own car. A nice silver Porsche your father had gaved you after you finished your exams. Throwing it in the trunk as you start your car. Before driving off, blocking him on every platform. Huffing as you start the engine and drive off.

The reader might think, “oh she must be so sad, or is she gonna get revenge. “They’re totally gonna get back together and she will shit on his heart.” Well in my own logic(lol) here is how to went:

She fully speeds as she arrives at a secluded beach. Parking her car as she angrily smokes. Grumbling on how she fell for his stupid face, or how he looked like some people that she knew(ahem ahem DG, Eli, and Johan) as she crushes the cigarette under her heel.

She put up a plan that will ensure her revenge and possibly not end up in jail.

She comes up with a couple of strategies

1. Scratch his car - nah she doesn’t wanna get sued

2. Cheat on him? - too much work

3. Find the bitch who slept with him - she’s probably big or something and will probably get sued

4. Block him and never speak to him again - she’s already doing that

There’s another solution: Get a better look and shit on him with her new looks - sounds better and is easier(and also legal)

“So that’s it!” She says out loud. She drives to her own separate home and get ready. Watching different YouTube videos for I don’t know, maybe an hour before finding the perfect video. Then getting a different outfit as she texts up a friend she knows and ask him about that car race meet up spot that she knows that jaegyon will be at and they agree.

The following week comes up and she’s with her friend as they went to who knows where as she flaunts her new looks. Form her hair, makeup, outfit, and heels as she finds a spot for her Nissan Silvia s13 in a big spot as the other people admire her.

She talks with them as she talks about her car when she sees him in the other side next to two girls at his side as he talks to some of his friends. His friends caught up and whisper to him as he notices you and glanced your way sometimes. You only ignored them as you chill with the other car owners, some of them being friendly

There was an announcement where there would be a race. Your ears perked up and headed over there as you see your good friend participating against, a very oddly familiar car. Oh shit it’s his car isn’t it

You walk to your friends side as you warm them up and he gave you thumbs up as you see a swarm of girls near his side. Ugh

———————————————————————————

After the race was over your friend won and you congratulated him. As you head to your car you hear yelling and see Jaegyon come towards you. In a panic you drive away and far as you could as you head home.

You sit at him as you wash your makeup when you heard your doorbell ring. Running over you open the door and met up with a tall blondie. Jaegyon…

He just looks at you before excusing himself in

“What the hell are you doing here” you asked a bit pissed

“Came here to say sorry…” he says. Looking away

“Well I don’t want your apology so get out”

“But-“”No buts, out!” You point to your door and shut it. Sighing in relief as you sat back down as you just finished your relationship

#najaegyeon #lookism x reader #x reader #angst #racing

114 notes · View notes

wannaeatramyeon · 10 months

Note

helloo! i've read your previous work for Gun, where you made a oneshot inspired by taylor's cardigan. i was hoping if you could write one inspired by "you're losing me" for Gun again or any other character from lookism that might fit the song. (can it be hurt no comfort?)

Hi anon! Thanks for requesting my fellow swiftie. Uhhh. I'm a little Gun-ed out right now. I've written a few angst Gun fics here, here (the cardigan one) and here. What I will give you, as inspiration randomly strikes at 2am is Eli. Me? Voluntarily writing for Eli?!?!

Eli Jang x Reader: You're losing me

You tolerated a lot, stretched your patience thin, with Eli. Took his issues and baggage on the chin, bonded with Yenna and love her like your own.

What you cannot tolerate is his reasoning, his logic.

The hypocrisy.

Making himself a martyr trying to protect his own family and ruining countless others.

Leaving behind a trail of tears and heartache within Hostel and ruining Warren too.

The Fifth Affiliates is bullshit. You ask him to explain it to you. Explain what he's doing, to help you understand. Each time he tries but you can't make sense of it. The fog just gets heavier, denser; you're lost and trapped without an exit.

You don't know who he is anymore. This isn't the Eli that you fell in love with. Who you followed from J High back to Hostel.

This is someone that you regret dulling your shine for.

Resentment growing each morning as he wakes, avoiding him and pretending to sleep. Even as you watch through half-closed lids the uniform that he puts on, the badge that he pins.

The Workers logo that you can't bear to look at. That stands for everything you hate. Your love dwindles each time he wears it.

For countless nights you pleaded with Eli to reconsider his cooperation with Workers. To actually choose his family. To choose Yenna and You, to choose Sally and Warren and Max and Derrick.

Eli tells you he already is, spitting fire with his words and daggers with his eyes. This is all for his family, for Hostel.

And it feels like a lie you've heard one too many times.

The hardest part, which tells you everything you need to know, is leaving Yenna. The thought of her growing up without you breaks your heart, causes sleepless nights and months of indecision.

You prolong it as long as you can, just for another day with her. To see her grow up a little more. Become the person you always thought she would.

In the end, you know you can't do it anymore. You've given this everything you had and more. You'll be gone by the end of today.

You watch Eli pin that badge on for the last time this morning and you realise you can't even bring yourself to hate him.

You're completely indifferent.

#this fits jake too but im too soft for jake to give him angst #lookism #lookism headcanons #lookism x reader #lookism hc #lookism fic #lookism fanfic #eli jang #eli jang x reader #jang hyun #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #wannaeatramyeon

172 notes · View notes

myuiis · 4 months

Text

I just KNOW that gen zero flashback is going to give us some of the most delicious, doomed by the narrative found family in fiction. just trust that ptj is going to take whatever drugs he was on when he wrote Jake Kim arc and he will COOK

#lookism #lookism manhwa #I just KNOW that the fist gang are going to get me so attached to them #I’m so excited fr #but at the same time I’m not at all ready for the angst #it’d be really funny if ptj pulled a fast one on us and just didn’t do a flashback at all #but I want gen zero crumbs so bad you don’t understand

93 notes · View notes

emojellyace08 · 8 months

Note

Ahh! I love your writing and I'm curious about how Samuel would take witnessing the person he is in love with confessing to Jake. Just fun lil angst I thought about 💜

Samuel Seo x Reader feat. Jake Kim "I shouldn't have cared in the first place" Angst oneshot

Damn this is actually a good idea @vibinbugg. (I like Jake Kim more in terms of character but I tend to relate with Samuel sometimes...). And sorry if this is late and rushed but I tried my best lol so I hope you like it. Genre: angst 🥀 Slight warnings: insecurities, third wheels, inferiority complex (not recommended in real life go talk to your buddies when you have problems like this), arguing/shouting, always being the second choice (Samuel's POV) Reader is gender neutral

He's like a raging storm that comes in everybody's way. When he gets ticked off, you're facing off a dangerous monster. He's destructive, fearless, and most especially not the best person to cross with. He'll get what he wants, no matter who or what fuckers comes in his way. He just doesn't care.

When it comes to love, Samuel is having a bit of mental crisis on it. Romance, caring, social and emotional connection? He doesn't need any of those. He looks down to love as a big sign of weakness. His mom never cared about him in the first place, his so called "friends" in Big Deal couldn't stand him, and most especially,

he couldn't even care for himself.

Samuel's ego gets in the way sometimes no matter how hard he tries to ease himself down. And no matter how he doesn't want to admit it, he's somehow insecure. He wants to be the best, the strongest of them all even he does cruel and unforgivable things just to be satisfied. But no matter how many money he is payed, how many enemies he took down with his brutal strength, he couldn't find the satisfaction that he's looking for. Something is, what's the word? Missing?

Then you came into his life.

Your fragile, naïve, and most especially weak. You are the thing Samuel hated the most. He sees you as someone who couldn't even protect themselves and is always looking for love. Ready to please everybody even though you're already being abused. It kind of reminded him of himself when he's younger. He can see his own reflection on your eyes as you pleaded for help. He wants nothing to do with you. And he couldn't even empathize anymore. He will always try to stop the tears that threatened to fall from his always gloomy and dark eyes, letting himself to feel numb. He just felt tired and exhausted to even cry, let alone live. But something about you caught his attention. You may not be the best in looks, but you got that thing called "charm". Is it because the way you smiled? The way you're always genuinely complimenting him? Your innocence? Your body? Your positive and optimistic thinking? He couldn't even find the answers for himself.

Samuel wants to avoid you. Samuel wants to be away from you. But you're like the flaming light on the dark and he's the moth who's attracted to you. You're the light that he's been looking for all of his life. You feel so warm in the cold and dark nights. You're like the burning fire that makes him comfortable on his own skin. You thought him to be not so hard on himself. You thought him that opening up to someone isn't a sign of weakness. It's in fact a sign of strength, that building memorable and fun memories isn't something to be ashamed of. It may be a slow and steady process, but Samuel was thankful for it.

You thought him to be more human.

He can't help but to admire you more and more as he stays on your side which gladly you didn't mind. You protected him when everybody is going up against him even though he knows he's on the wrong. He really appreciates you a lot even when it's not so obvious. He does try to be caring and open. It's not only because of you who taught him to love himself even more, but you also thought him to love others. And that person that he only cared about is you.

But no matter how many times he wants to be more honest and open about his feelings, Samuel couldn't seem to do it. He felt like someone is stopping and threatening him.

He could have confessed to you on the first place.

Samuel is standing there, watching you and Jake hug as you sobbed on his arms as he smiles and patting your back. Not going to lie, he does find this suspicious at first. You promised him that when you're having issues with your personal life you will open to him. Why is Jake touching you? Hugging you? He knows he has no right to be jealous about. You and him are probably just friends and you even said to himself that it's okay to talk to others and still be loyal to one another. But he soon did change his mind when you announced that you find yourself a loving boyfriend.

"Guys, I want you to take a seat and listen to Jake right now". You asked as Sinu, Jerry, Lineman, Jason, Brad and other Big Deal members sat down, including no other than Samuel Seo himself just standing and leaning on the door. He notices the change of atmosphere on the place as you and Jake held hands together. This can't be happening.

"I just found myself a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend!" Jake shouted as the crowd cheered and congratulated for the both of you. You're smiling and happy. But of course Samuel isn't pleased with this as it let a bitter taste on his mood. It's like his life just shattered into pieces. He couldn't have you, the only person he cared and he would die for. He felt like his life is back from square one. He's the monster he is again. The hateful and prideful monster.

He's agitated, stressed, and most especially he wants to let out his rage. From all the other people you can pick besides him, you chose Jake? His enemy? His rival?

The celebration continued as you noticed your best friend missing. He wasn't in the party as Sinu poured more Soju on Lineman's shot glass as everybody cheered and half of them drunk, knocked down on the floor.

"Looking for someone?" Jake embraced your body as he leans on your shoulder making you chuckle. "I was just looking for Sammy, did you spot him around?" you questioned in an octave whisper as he answers that he didn't even have a chat with him on the first place. You managed to convince your boyfriend to look for him alone as he does seemed to be a bit curious. But he still let you go on your own.

After looking around the street and other places, you managed to find Samuel on one of the terrace buildings. He stood there watching the view as you can smell the hint of cigarettes.

"Smoking again?" you teased him as he doesn't respond to you. He just stood there minding his own business. You decided to go stay beside him. But the moment you looked on your side he was now walking away from you.

"Hey what's wrong? Are you alri-" he slapped your hand away as you tried reaching out to him. You were completely confused on why he's acting like this again. Did you do something bad?

"Hey, why are you acting like this? I didn't get into trouble again!" you shouted as he sighs. He is now walking towards you, but something felt different. Something odd and disturbing as you felt like a lamb on the wolf's trap.

"Fuck off."

"Wha-what?"

"Didn't you hear me? Fuck off."

You stood there frozen on your place as you felt offended by Samuel's words. He's not like this, well of course with you. 'He-hey what do you mean by that?" you confronted him as you felt desperate for answers. "Did I do something wrong to offend you this badly?" "Shut up." "Why?! You promised me that if you have a proble-" "I said shut the fuck up!" he shouted as he kicks the wooden table filled with ash treys and the pack of cigarettes he has bought for himself. You're now crying as warm tears fall down on your doe-like eyes. You're scared of Samuel, you're scared of something that he hates. This side of himself that he couldn't even control.

"What did I do wrong huh?" "Wha-what do you mea-" "Am I not good enough? Am I still acting like an asshole to you that you made yourself pick that retard!". It then clicked on you. Does he likes you in that way? "I fucking sacrificed myself, my own well being and pride just so I can be a good influence on you, but YOU DON'T FUCKING APPECIATE IT! YOU DON"T FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME!" "I DO CARE ABOUT YOU!" "THEN WHY HIM!" he shouted as you can see for the first time Samuel crying. It's mixed with anger, fear, desperation, and betrayal.

"I-I..." You tried to to find your words but your sobbing makes it everything worst as Samuel chuckles. It's not because of mockery. But he's desperate for words, for answers. But it looks like you couldn't even talk straight.

He walks away with him picking his coat and his fresh pack of cigarettes while you limp down on the floor crying out. He doesn't mean to hurt you, but he doesn't know how to apologize now that he had made you cry, the thing that he promised to himself that he wouldn't do so that you can trust him more.

"I'm leaving".

"What?"

"I'm not coming back to this place. Jake better treats you right because I'm not going to be here to save you". he huffed as he exhales the smoke coming from his mouth. You don't want him to leave. You want him to be on your side, but it looks like you couldn't even convince him to stay for a little longer as he walks away from the scene leaving you emotionally wounded that the scars will probably not fade for a very long time.

Samuel walks down the stairs as he sees no other than Jake himself. Panting as he ran as he noticed the muscular male smoking, but this times his eyes looks so sore and red.

"Where's Y/N?" He raised his eyebrow in question as he hears your cries of agony echoes the staircase. He stood there in shock as he tries to reach to you but Samuel is blocking the way.

"Move!"

"Get out of the way." "I said, MOVE YOU FUCKING BASTA-"

Jake couldn't even complete his sentence as Samuel punched him on the face. This continued for a while as they fought on the building throwing kicks and punches on each other until they are both bleeding and limping.

"Listen to me you little bitch, you better take care of Y/N or I'm taking her away from you myself". Samuel whispered onto Jake's ears as he pulls his ear then smashing his face on the concrete floor then walking away on the scene, bloodied and bruised. Good thing Jake was able to walk up and check on you. You told him the whole thing that happened of course. He was worried that something else might have occurred. But you reassured him that Samuel didn't inappropriately touched you, but he did sure hurt your feelings a lot making you feel guilty and shameful about your choice.

He could have been more honest with you. Now he realizes that it's not Jake who is the threat that is trying to take away you from him. It's himself. The devil inside him who's been feeding on his insecurities and feeling like you're too far from his league. The way he shouted and screamed at you, the way he handled the situation poorly and immaturely makes him hate himself more. He will never ever forgive himself.

Now Samuel is back on the streets, hungry for blood and power. You are indeed a burning flame. You're warm and you are his comfort. But the moment he has tried to get closer to you, your passion and caring side slowly burned him like his moth wings. Leaving him hurt and blinded by the illusion that he'll be ever be good enough to be with you.

#lookism x reader #lookism x y/n #lookism x you #lookism fic #samuel seo x reader #jake kim x reader #love triangle #x reader angst #angst #character x reader #character x you #character x y/n

89 notes · View notes

sleepinwater · 8 months

Text

LOOKISM 465 BIG SPOILERS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

GUYS HOLY SHIT IT'S GONNA BE JAY VS BIG DANIEL OMFG NOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭

I'm gonna cry this is gonna hurt jay so much....... And daniel will just be ruthless asf in the UI state.

I hope lil daniel comes and helps jay... Both finishing off big daniel has a lot of potential for a great conclusion ngl.

#the angst is gonna angst so much....#lookism #lookism spoilers #lookism 465 #Jay hong #daniel park #park hyungseok #hong jaeyeol

62 notes · View notes

shesalewa · 4 months

Text

GUYS. WHAT IF THE REASON WHY GUN IS WEARING GOO'S EYEGLASSES HERE IS BECAUSE GOO IS ALREADY DEAD.

AND IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY HERE IN THE PHOTO GUN ALSO LOOKS DEPRESSED. COULD IT MEAN THAT BY THE TIME THIS SCENE HAPPENS.

GOO IS ALREADY DEAD???

#lookism theory #lookism gun #gun angst #gun x goo #gun park #gungoo #goo kim #goo lookism #googun #lookism webtoon #lookism #lookism angst #ptj universe #ptj what bullsh t are you planning?#some one said this on tiktok and I can't find which video i found it on and now im crying

87 notes · View notes

redwolfxx · 8 months

Text

Memories

James/DG x reader

tags: angst

------------------------------------------------------------

"Diego"

You had grown up together, inseparable. You would study together, you would train together. You would watch shows together and be little delinquents together. You would skip class to watch Diego (Dora's, in your opinion, much cooler cousin) and snack on whatever you raided out of the kitchen. You practically lived together with how often you hung out together. You were best friends, almost siblings, but you couldn't be.

After all, you can't look at a sibling the way you saw him.

He was always there for you. Late nights when you would be stressing over homework he would sneak in and bring you food. He would then help you with your schoolwork and then hangout with you before leaving for the night. Your parents loved him, he was so kind and polite to them.

You, like him were an amazing fighter. You would spar together, the score was often left uncounted due to the closeness of each match.

He knew you so well and you knew him like the back of your hands. You could just look at each other and know exactly what the other was thinking. Two peas in a pod. Nothing would get between you

Except everything did.

High school. Although you went to the high school you were both so different. Your grades were above average but they weren't like his, you weren't as good as him in school. But, you weren't complaining, especially if your struggle meant more time with him after school.

Popularity wise, you were different. You were both known for your looks, however you both had very different personalities in school.

You would sit in the back by the window, daydreaming of all the things you would rather be doing than listening to the teacher ramble about his wife who left him because he was, and I quote "too ugly to even be in the same room with." Which, was sadly an accurate statement. Your popularity was more of the "mysterious" (girl/guy/etc) at the back of the room that people would talk to if they weren't afraid.

James on the other hand was popular, girls loved him, guys wanted to be him. He was the school's golden child. Perfect grades. Fast track times. Amazing charisma. And a heart of gold.

At least that was during school hours. After school though, you were both very different.

You were the kind (girl/guy/etc) who the grandmothers loved and asked if you had a significant other. You would feed stray cats, you would play with neighborhood kids. But more importantly you were the reason why thugs avoided your neighborhood.

James was the kind of guy who did his homework during class, or occasionally asked others to do it for him (after all who wouldn't want to do his homework, who can say no to that smile?). He would hang out behind buildings with other friends (read: wannabes) who would smoke and basically act like gangsters. After an hour or two he would go meet up with Charles Choi and discuss plans for the future. When he wasn't doing any of that he was starting fights with other crews for extra sparing practice. He loved fighting, but his fights consumed his life. He started seeing you less.

When he did have free time he would spend it with his girlfriend if the week from his school making out in the hallway bathrooms.

Some wondered why the two of you never were a thing, especially with how close you were - used to be.

----

It was a New Years Eve Party, it was at one of your "friend's" houses. She was nice, rich, and probably thought that being nice to you meant James would like her more. Anyway, it had been a few hours since you had arrived and the balcony started feeling like a good idea to get away from all the noise, sex, and smells.

You walked out and took in the nice warm air, a cooler breeze running through your hair every now and then. As you watched the streets of people below the penthouse you didn't notice the presence next to you. With a flick of a lighter and the smell of smoke, your concentration was broken bringing you to focus on the new presence beside you. James.

"Hey, haven't seen you much." You say, breaking the silence.

"Yeah well you seem to avoid me these days" He responds carelessly.

"It's not you I'm avoiding, but that crowd you surround yourself with. Anyway, when did you start smoking?" You ask.

"When did you care so much?" He snaps back, returning the two of you to a silent tension.

The silence enveloped the two of you as you looked into each others eyes, the sounds of the city below you and the party behind you two.

"I've missed you." You finally breathe out.

"Yeah, me too." He says, his warm eyes giving you a once over.

You both return your gazes to the city below watching the city lights go dark as the buildings all light up with the same numbers.

"The year is already over and I haven't even completed my New Years Resolution from earlier this year." He says, sneaking a glance over at you.

"Well you still have 5 seconds left it seems." You say, still glancing at the city below.

Before you know it he's turned you so your facing him. Eyes looking deep into one another's. Without warning he drops his cigarette crushing it beneath his foot and grabs your waist pulling you into him.

Surprised you gasp, your gasp is met with a passionate kiss as the city breaks into noise announcing the New Year. Fireworks burst to your side announcing the arrival of the New Year.

You break for air and ask, "Why?"

"I always complete my resolutions." He smirks back.

Your face blushes a deep red as you avoid his sharp gaze. He grabs your face and pulls you to look at him.

"Do you want to know what my resolution for last year was?" He asks softly.

"What?"

"To kiss you."

This time his ears turn a soft pink shade.

You laugh at his sudden embarrassment and lean into him. Your head on his chest and arms around his neck with his arms around your waist. His head rests on your head as you watch the fireworks.

"Will you go out with me?"

"No."

"What?" He pulls away slightly, surprised.

"I'm not a one week fling, I'm not two week fling. I have feelings and a heart and I can't bear to be with you if you leave at the drop of a hat." You say, pulling away.

"No, no. I would never do that to you. Do you understand how much I love you. I've loved you for years. I promise I'd never hurt you. Never"

"Promise?"

"Promise. Will you go out with me forever?"

You laugh at his rewording, "Yes."

----

It had been almost a year since he had asked that. You'd been dating for a while now. It was almost the same as the friendship you had before with the exception of you seeing him more often and the physical contact.

Each night, however, he would start coming home later and later. Mumbling about a plan and leaving. Being the middle of the night you forget by the morning to ask him. After all he promised he would never leave. So what did you have to worry about?

You had been on countless dates. Amusement parks, fancy restaurants, and more. He was so kind to you, so good to you. He would buy you gifts and would never accept any gift you gave in return saying he was buying your love an affection and not to spend money on someone like him. You would always reassure him that nothing was wrong with him.

Over time he would start developing your habits and you would correct his. Always replacing his cigarettes with lollipops. Although he grumbled about it aloud, he always felt warm inside at the sight.

You both loved each other so much. You believed nothing would ever stop a relationship this amazing.

One day he disappeared. No note, no message, no call, no goodbye. He just left.

No one knew where he was, he was gone. As if he never existed to begin with. The only records of him were the photos on your wall and the pain in your heart.

And with that, he was gone. He left your heart shattered. He left you alone, with no trace of him to love.

He left you broken, destroyed, abandoned. Your heart filled with sadness which developed into anger. Over the following years you would love again, but never the same, no one was him. No one loved you like him.

Your anguish would fade and you would distract yourself with work, and when you weren't working you would watch videos of kpop idols. Although one in particular stood out to you, familiar almost, but with no reason as to why. It would never be him, he always complained of the color pink, "it's blinding" he would whine as he would cover his eyes as you laughed at him.

Pink hair must be popular, there is always a pink haired customer who arrives before your shift and leaves around the same time you get off everyday, his eyes a familiar brown. But still distant.

One day he would give you his number asking you to call him one day. You never saw his face and you were cautious of strangers so you thanked him and threw it out after his back had turned.

You would later discover a new message in your phone from a"Diego."

"Can we talk?"

#james lee #dg #james x reader #dg x reader #angst #lookism x reader #lookism

78 notes · View notes

spaceyflowerswriting · 1 year

Note

"Johan please take care of yourself, I love you" 💬

The text probably would've made any other person smile, but for Johan it only caused him heartache. He stopped to stare into his faint reflection on the glass exterior of an abandoned store he was walking by, feeling a frustrating kind of pity for himself. This was someone who could be loved...?

He shook his head and looked back down at his phone to reply:

make sure you're taking care of yourself, too.

His fingers hesitated to text back, "I love you," but he didn't want to leave you hanging. Instead, he sent a voice mail, his voice softly saying, "Also... I love you, too."

It was easier that way. He wouldn't feel like he was letting himself be allowed to love and be loved if he didn't see it.

#lookism #johan seong x reader #texts #damn i went all out. sorry johan is just so special to me 💔#i mean that in a platonic way hes my best friend blorbo #also help im so sorry if u wanted sumn fluffy my brain went right to angst 😭

199 notes · View notes

heongiu · 1 year

Text

James Lee x Reader | Angst |

~~~~~

The man you previously knew, had long changed himself.

When did you last see him? Such question was not of concern to you.

You knew somewhere he was there. Living as someone new, completely unaware of the damage he had done to your heart.

~~~~

You stood at the crowd, at the front, watching the famous kpop star DG walk out of his own company, PTJ entertainment.

The crowd cheered upon him, girls screaming and asking to take a pic of him.

But you weren't interested in such pathetic things, the reason you were here was different.

DG stood there greeting his own fans, until his eyes batted at you.

Something about the way he looked at you, maybe he knew who you were, and maybe he was the one you were looking for.

He inched closer to you, face frowning in fury.

He seemed to be questioning your appearance at such a place, and your intentions as to why would you come at this place? Why would you ever wish to meet him again? He thought he had long disposed of you.

"James lee" you spoke, his eyes widened, you found out what he had become after disappearing for so long. You had discovered him yet again, but now as someone new, someone you'd hate him for now.

"I know you're James lee" this time, the pink haired man wasted no time, turning around to walk away from the disappointment which stood in front of him, despising him, cursing him.

"I thought I'd never see you again."

"fuck you asshole.." Tears ran down your face.

"What a disappointment" he quoted. you threw a pebble at him, it hit his back. Yet he didn't stop walking away, he cared not the slightest about you.

All you were were just a pawn to him, and your pathetic feelings.

And why did he never ever tell you that he was somewhere there?

And what about all the times that you cared for him? Was it not enough?

What did you do to be left like that? All alone without any explanation, without ever a word spoken to you? Without him even realizing that maybe what he was doing was wrong?

All this just to become a fucking kpop idol whose life revolves around his popularity?

You despised him. You really did.

Everyone else, from the first generation, despised him too, since he was the legend of the first generation.

someone who broke the spirits of many many people. He did the same to your feelings. He was never a man made for your love.

"I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE" you cried at him from the crowd, everyone else was caught in awe that you would yell such a thing at such a prestigious person.

But they didn't know that you had a personal grudge against him, or that you knew him personally.

And why would you ever care about these stupid little gremlins wasting their life on someone who wouldn't even care if they died.

You hated him a lot, everyday you wished he would cease to exist one day. Everyday you wished you'd never see his face again, or even hear of him again.

"I'll never forgive you"

~~~~~

#lookism #james lee x reader #heongiu writes #dg #lookism x reader #lee jihoon x reader #lee jihoon #lookism angst

72 notes · View notes