12/27/2023

I'm writing all of this down before the end of the year so I can set my intentions for the upcoming year. I want to have this to look back onto and hopefully be able to check everything off as completed.

I want to spend this next year bettering myself physically and mentally. I have made HUGE strides in the past few years with all of that but I know there is still so much more work to do.

I am a stay at home mom now. I am up and down off the ground and couch. Bending over and picking up constantly. I have a bad back but I know that a lot of that has to do with my weight. I am already making some strides with this. I am doing OatsOvernight to drink when I'm up at 7 and rely on that to keep me full through 12 or 1. This has been doable. The flavors are amazing and the selection is quite large so I think I can sustain this.

Currently, my back is acting up so I'm working on that to heal up. When I'm finally feeling a bit better, I plan to dedicate time at least 2-3 days a week (if not more) to doing my PT exercises. I spent all that time, energy, and money going to PT, now I just need to stick with it and implement that in my life. The exercises along with going on walks will hopefully help my energy and abilities overall.

I'm going to start watching my portions. This is going to be a HUGE task for me. I have already reached out to join Overeaters Anonymous. I haven't done too much with that just yet as I did a few things last night but I'm setting that ball in motion. I'm dedicated to getting my overeating under control. It's a problem I have been struggling with for so long and a lot of the time I feel like food controls my life. It should NOT be like this. I know this and that's what I'm working to overcome.

This segues into my mental health. Going to OA and finding support there is super important in changing my mind around about food. I am also contemplating finding a behavioral therapist to help me with some intrusive thoughts I've been having. My hormones are still getting under control from the pregnancy and subsequent breast feeding but I'm keeping an eye on my thoughts to try and make sure I'm not getting to a dark place. So far I have been able to put those thoughts to the side and move past them when I think them but it's still pretty tough.

I am also getting massages at least once a month. That will help with my physical self but being able to shut off and just be present. It's a nice and relaxing time to just be. I'm trying to get more in touch with myself. I have never truly felt like I knew myself and the self I do know, I don't particularly like.

I have purchased a tarot deck and an oracle deck. I'm still in the early stages of using them but I'm taking this as a chance to open my mind even more. I'm hoping that these tools will help me find guidance when I need it. I bought a journal to track my readings and reflect on them now and in the future. With this spiritual journey, I'm opening myself up to God. I was raised Catholic and I still do consider myself to be. We've been attending a Lutheran church here and there. We haven't been recently but life has been busy especially one with a one year old. They do stream online so I'm hoping to catch a few of those and maybe try to reconnect to a closeness with God. I know that He is the reason I am where I am and have the things I have and I want to open myself up to being a good person and if that means dedicating time and energy to God then that's where life is guiding me. I simply don't know at this point but I'm excited to find out!

I'm hoping to learn a lot about myself this year. I'm wanting to learn more about myself, both mind and body. I'm switching things up with this blog and I want to sort of use this as a diary. Something I can look back on and see my thoughts and how I've been changing. I'm doing this for me and if I can find other people through this platform to help me or who I can help, then that's even better.

Week in Review

12/03/2023 – 12/09/2023

Sunday

I checked out the first chapter of Ruirui Senki and was extremely bored by it. It feels like an amalgamation of all the popular Shounen Jump spiritual battle manga – selfless protag who always goes out of his way to help others in need, young-looking grandmother who’s also a mentor for the spirit battles, the spirits being manifestations of negative feelings, etc. My eyes immediately glazed over at the expository magic rules dialogue too, and the motivations for the glasses guy are so thin and basic but being presented like it’s really deep and thought-provoking. The only thing that this manga has an edge on over Jujutsu Kaisen or Dandadan is its immediate fujo appeal: uptight glasses guy who wants to do the right thing/laid-back chill guy who’s secretly a badass who protects glasses guy? Glasses guy literally sleeping on chill guy’s lap??? The fics just write themselves. This yaoibait definitely feels intentional, though I suspect it’ll be set aside once the main female lead from the opening color page is introduced proper. Maybe even a love triangle, who knows. The series is already derivative from the get-go, so why not. And them setting up a “problem solving club” of sorts at the end is just ripe for monster of the week material. I won’t be around to see it, obviously, other than to skim through and see if I’m right. Just a boring manga all around. (Also a weird nitpick, but the lettering in this chapter felt off… Some of the spacing and word fitting was just weird and bad at times… I feel like I’ve seen this letterer on other Shounen Jump works and I hadn’t noticed anything before, but this one looked a little rough. A product of crunch, perhaps? Overall it’s passable, but it’s just something that stuck out to me).

Undead Unluck was pretty good. I liked the random f-bomb being dropped LOL and I also like how the crash is what tears up Enjin’s hat to match how he had it in the last loop. Enjin’s mom is a classic “dying anime mom” with the low side ponytail to boot, but at least she’s a bit rugged and not kind and demure as dying anime moms tend to be. A few weeks ago I mentioned how I was excited to find out more about Enjin, but unfortunately I just find him a little one-note. The whole tough and ambitious delinquent-ish guy with straightforward ambitions and a heart of gold already feels a little played out… But at least with him on board, we can get on with what looks to be an exciting arc ahead.

Wow, the new Oshi no Ko chapter… Kana’s certainly taking a bold approach to things. Baring her own ugly feelings to invoke some emotional truth in Ruby for the sake of her acting…that’s pretty intense.

Dandadan was fun, I liked seeing Turbo Granny’s little adventure. Oh right, the anime was announced last week when this chapter was released! I’m really excited for it, and judging from the trailer I think I can trust Science Saru to do a good job. A quirky studio like that is pretty fitting for a quirky manga like this.

On the other side of the anime announcement spectrum is, unfortunately, Magilumiere… The trailer looked like any other modern shiny anime, and poster isn’t doing too much to sell me on the anime either…

The added crotch shadow alone is annoying enough, but Koshigaya’s whole facial expression has been nerfed so hard, and I don’t understand why they would have Kana hold her ID card when her reading manuals is a pretty big part of her early characterization?? The anime’s artstyle just doesn’t hold any of the original’s charm, either, and what little we saw of the Kaii in the trailer looked like regular anime slop with textures slapped onto it. I honestly don’t know if I’ll watch it… It’ll probably just make me sad.

All of that aside, the new Magilumiere chapter was pretty gripping. I constantly feel on the fence about whether or not Midorikawa will do a double-double cross, and I think I’m slightly leaning towards yes after this chapter. And, not gonna lie, seeing Shigemoto’s desperation at whatever this magic power chip thing is about is activating the gayship radar in my brain… Is he trying to stop them because it would grant Midorikawa more power than Shigemoto would like? Or…perhaps…the chip has some sort of downside that’ll harm Midorikawa, but he’s doing it to further his (and Shigemoto’s??) goals…? If it’s the latter, and Shigemoto subjected himself to these working conditions to protect Midorikawa from going so far as to bring harm to himself… The yaoi alarms are BLARING, especially with that last panel of Midorikawa smiling almost sheepishly as he mentions some sort of promise with Shigemoto… You know, before the betrayal, I was always hoping for some kind of ship fodder for Midorikawa since he seemed like a nice guy, but now the added edge of toxic yaoi is really elevating the flavour… This ship came out of nowhere but I’m a little obsessed with it already.

The One Piece chapter was fun, Kuma really is a good guy, huh. It’s kinda funny seeing Kizaru just hanging out and eating pizza with everyone. And seeing Ace again is so bittersweet…

A cute little Iroha/En moment to start off the Cipher Academy chapter. I have no idea who I actually ship him with since he seems to have chemistry with everyone, but this was pretty cute. And I’m glad we’re getting more insight into another one of Class A’s members! Aw Namasu is pretty cute, too. Cute chapter all around.

We watched a few more episodes of House, but I gotta be honest and admit that I was half-asleep through most of them.

Monday

Uhhhhhh

Tuesday

It’s fun seeing Pochita again in the new Chainsaw Man chapter. He really boils everything down concisely for Denji as he tries to move up through the hierarchy of needs. Will he ever actually attain self-actualization? I don’t know, but I’m rooting for him. I do hope the pets thing is a fakeout, and it doesn’t feel like Fujimoto’s style to kill off a bunch of animals…but who knows.

Watched some more House, but I was making dinner at the same time so I didn’t really catch much of the story. But it’s funny that House is cracking all these homoerotic jokes about Taub and Foreman living together, as if he and Wilson weren’t literally doing the exact same thing like a month ago.

Wednesday

The new extra chapter of Skip to Loafer was cute, but I have nothing to say about it.

We’re popping the biggest bottles today as Huddy has officially broken up! Somehow didn’t even last as long as Cameron and Chase’s relationship but this is for the best for everyone involved.

Thursday

I’m trying to procrastinate some work so I read the first chapter of Yan Ge’s Strange Beasts of China. Having dreamt of being a cryptozoologist in my youth, I do enjoy the premise a lot, and the first chapter shows promise with its light horror vibes and unique monsters. I could do without the pseudo-deep “maybe We’re the REAL beasts” musings but so far it’s passable.

Friday

Story-wise, not much actually happened in the new Undead Unluck episode, but I’m just happy to sit back and enjoy the stylistic direction. Knowing what I know now, though, I FEEL SO BAD FOR MY BOY SEAN AGHHHHHHH SAVE HIMMMMM also YESSSSSSS THE JUIZ MOMENT WAS PERFECT. I really like Juiz’s voice actress, too, she’s been really delivering on the recap and preview narrations as well as in the actual show. Another highlight for me was Shen saying that long sentence in Chinese – I think Hanae Natsuki did about as well as he could. He got pretty close in some places! Also them showing Lake Baikal when the night sky filled up with stars was so nasty (affectionate).

Saturday

A very cute and healing episode of SpyFam today, which is a nice respite after the tense action-filled episodes we’ve had. It’s all very very very cute, with some TwiYor fodder as a bonus, and we got a nice conclusion to Yor’s arc (even if it’s a little “yes I have re-affirmed that I will continue my status quo”). The scene with the adults in Anya’s life trying to impart the importance of honesty to her all while being massive liars themselves was some great ironic humor. I’ve always found it fun that in order to get the most use out of her abilities, Anya has had to learn to be mature in her own way and be receptive to the thinking and contradictions of the adults around her. This rough emotional maturity coupled with her childish whims is what makes Anya so compelling to watch.

Another chapter of Yuria-sensi no Akai Ito! I really enjoyed this chapter – it’s nice to see Yuria take some time off and socialize for once, even if it’s still to help someone else. Little Yuria is also super cute, I think the mangaka did a great job depicting his chaotic energy in a way that felt true to life. And then the conversation between Yuria and Ban was naturalistic and really hit upon some relationship issues that don’t often get explored in manga – even with the bombastic plot points of a secret gay lover and a secret family that’d be right at home in a soap opera, the central sticking point of Yuria’s relationship is about how Yuria herself is unwilling to give up on it, partly out of habit and partly out of stubbornness, and how this has forced her to sacrifice so much of herself and her life. But it’s great to see her take some small steps to reclaiming that time, such as when she admits to herself that she wants to be seen as desirable in her own right. I really love this manga, and I’m eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

Managed to get in the new episode of Kusuriya before this post goes up. The tea party with Gyokuyou and Lishu is fascinating to watch play out in animated form. The silence of the room and the stiffness of ceremony and customs makes each spoken line feel weighty, and the subtle glances around the room feel like sharp analytical examinations of how everyone else is feeling. It’s almost Succession-y. The part where Lishu’s party whisper among themselves stood out to me for how it actually sounded like real whispering – typically you get a sort of half-whisper in anime, but this makes the setting feel realistic. Also now that I think about it, Lishu’s a really interesting character to me. She didn’t stand out to me before when reading the manga or light novel, but seeing her here with her small stature and clear anxiety, I can’t help but feel really bad for her. She’s been used as a political pawn for almost her whole life, and now she’s a teenage girl alone in a den of wolves and meant to navigate the socio-political web of both the rear palace and the country at large…her introduction made her seem almost like a brat, but I’m glad we’re quickly moving past that image of her. I haven’t gotten to any story arc in the manga or light novel where she features as a crucial figure in some political plot yet, but I hope that that’s on the horizon because it’d be really interesting.

Aww the return of the Maomao being tossed out of a room gag is so cute. And a weird thing that I noticed (because I’m insane and also it stuck out to my ear) was how Ah-Duo’s pronunciation of Fengming was weirdly decent and almost accurate, so kudos to the seiyuu there. THE GIRLS PINING FOR AH-DUO ARE SOOOOO REAL SHE’S SO HOT AND IKEMENNNNN. Ooo I really like the use of foreground and background as Maomao and the others walk through the corridor. Feels really alive and almost like a live-action shot. It looks like it’d be a useful animation trick to make a scene feel like it’s moving without actually needing to animate a lot. GAOSHUN SGHDJSFSDH turning a wilful blind eye to his master’s bad behaviour… It’s so funny seeing Jinshi’s childish side poke out, as well as his panic when he gets caught in the act. I also really enjoyed the squishiness in Lishu’s expressions in the scene afterwards, which peaked in her expression of panicked realization at the end. Agh, and a great revelation to cap off the episode. Really fantastic episode overall! Great pacing and dissemination of information, great performances, and great directing to boot. I hope that this is a sign that they geared up the production to bring the first half of this 24-episode cour to a strong finish.