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aftout · 1 year

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Sorry for SU posting on main I’m aware that it’s, like, a show and a half when it comes to thinking critically about media but with its recent resurgence on certain platforms I’ve been pondering like a bitch over one topic specifically and it’s just??

I love, love Rose Quartz’s character. It’s a hot take I know but I truly love what the series did with her, as rushed as it was at times. Rose is so important to me because she is what Steven Universe is all about: growth, forgiveness, and change.

There’s the obvious: she went from presenting herself as a diamond to presenting herself as a quartz. She changed her name. She moved from homeworld to Earth. She went from surrounding herself with the other diamonds and their colonies to surrounding herself with humans and the crystal gems. But even outside of all the things that are presented to you surface level, her entire existence and personality revolves around changing.

The earliest stage of her that we see in the show is, iirc, the dream sequence where Stevonnie is in her position (on that abandoned command center) with Connie’s mom replicating Yellow Diamond. Rose was, at that point, a literal child. Though not in consecutive order, we see how Rose goes from a spoiled, overly emotional, and even abused kid to this levelheaded, grown woman. And that is literally what the show is all about. I keep saying this over and over again but she is so integral to SU’s overarching theme. She’s imperfect, both as a gem and also as a person, but like? She persists and moves forward. She’s so human.

Even in context of design, her quartz form looks substantially more humane than most of the other gems do. She mingles with humanity constantly and even goes as far as to give birth to a (mostly) human son. She is messy. The rubble of it all means a lot to me because I feel like SU did a good job at portraying just how ugly trauma can be. We really see this in Future, where Steven has an onscreen meltdown and finally cracks under several seasons’ and a movie’s worth of trials and tribulations. It’s really interesting to me because I feel like, in that story arc, we really see that he is his mother’s son.

I don’t think it’s outlandish to say that SU does touch on themes about generational trauma. Rose has her baggage from her days as a diamond, and clearly though she tried her best to grow and break the cycle, there were a few bumps and bruises that got passed down onto Steven. He then goes on his own journey to heal and break the cycle himself. Hell, both of their stories even end with them leaving Greg and the Crystal Gems behind; and though Steven doesn’t sacrifice himself in the way that Rose did, there is still that feeling of moving on and accepting the next stage of life: whether it be finally allowing oneself to grow up or, well, die.

These themes of growing up are found in the Spinel debacle, as well. Rebecca Sugar themself said that a lot of Spinel’s character was based off of this situation they found themself in where they left a toy rabbit they had in the garden, forgot about it, and then found it again six months later. They described it as “wondering how they could be so careless over something they thought they loved so much.” It’s rough because, unlike Sugar’s stuffed rabbit, Spinel is sentient. But even then, throughout the movie she is described as Pink’s toy. Symbolically she captures what it’s like to grow out of toys you once loved as a child. And then, at the end, she is taken in by the other diamonds to reminisce over who Pink once was; much like how parents may keep old stuffed animals their kids owned as a memory.

Idk. At this point I’m fully rambling (I had better points when I was talking to myself about this and making myself cry), but I just. Yeah. Rose is such a wonderful character to me. Her humanity and imperfection means a lot. I think it’s cool to have such a nuanced character be shown in children’s media, and seeing her development is genuinely fascinating. I think she really shows that beauty isn’t necessarily found in one’s pain, but in the strength they withhold to power through it. Does that make any sense? Idk.

#long post #again sorry for su posting on main but this has been plaguing me for a while now. i only just really figured out what it was i wanted to—#—say. su was a very flawed show; but it did still have an important impact.#lol kinda like rose herself. life imitates art.

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wandasleftshoe · 2 years

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Glimpse of Us (Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Your timing had never been good when it came to Eddie Munson, nor had his been with you. Until one day, just maybe it was finally right.

A/N: I’m blasted rn, so it’s either gonna be good or it’s going to be shit. I live by that quote “write drunk, edit sober” or whatever tf the quote is. Enjoy, or don’t. Idc. Also, yes this is HEAVILY inspired by the song Glimpse of Us by Joji and minorly a part of my life that I wish to forget. Life imitates art, as they say. Feel free to listen to the playlist I listened to while writing this.

Warnings: kinda sad, angst, cursing, mention of substance abuse, probably some grammar mistakes lol

Word Count: 2,739

It was sophomore year of highschool when Y/N started dating Eddie Munson. Life was like a dream, he was kind, funny, and only wanted to love and be with her. And she felt the exact same for him. It was like she found her missing piece, the flame burned bright between the two of them and everyone could see it, though people still talked.

That might have been what caused everything to happen. For months, the two basically lived together. Ate, breathed, and lived to be with each other. Others were jealous that Eddie “the Freak” Munsons had ended up with Hawkin’s local bombshell. Kids around school would whisper, the town loves to gossip, as we all know.

“He’s just using her to gain social status,” or “There’s no way she actually wants to be with him, it must be some charity case.” Everyone heard the whispers, even Y/N and Eddie, in their love sick world. That might have been why the two soon grew to loathe each other, or maybe, as they say, the flame simply burnt out. Either way, after about a year of bliss, a month of low communication, the two were done.

Soon after the breakup, Y/N climbed the social chain, of course she had always known everyone, and everyone knew her. But now that she was a single gal, the boys flocked, and she didn’t deny them. She joined the cheer squad, had a “close” group of friends within it. She played the part really well, everything in her life felt okay all things considered.

Until Eddie got a new girlfriend.

II.

After the breakup, Eddie was a mess. He didn’t know why things turned out the way they did, he loved Y/N. She was his girl, his heart, his entire fucking world. But when people started to talk, he listened to them, and not the girl he loved. In the deepest parts of his mind, he did feel inferior, like maybe what they were saying was true. How could a girl like her; gorgeous inside and out, the kindest, wisest soul he had ever met- want to be with a freak like him? What did he have to provide? A shitty cover band and some cool t-shirts? That was the kind of thinking that led him to letting her go. To give her a real chance at a good life, find someone just as caring, just as loyal, just as perfect as her.

When she rose to be one of the most popular girls at school, he couldn’t blame her, though it hurt to watch her go. He was proud of how she was blooming. But when the other boys at school started openly flirting and she didn’t turn them down, he figured it was time to move on.

I mean, how could it have been real to her if she could move on so easily, so fast? Or at least- that’s how it felt to Eddie.

Though if Eddie had been a mind reader he would have seen how much it pained her to not be with him. So she distracted herself the way she saw all of her friends did- with boys and alcohol. A little mindless flirting here, an insignificant date there, parties all the time. In all honesty, it did nothing to soothe the pain of not being with him. He was like her favorite drug, and now she was going through withdrawals.

So when Eddie showed up to school with his arm slung around some chick Y/N vaguely remembers walking down the hall from time to time, she couldn’t decide if she was crushed or if she was irrevocably angry. He had done the same thing to her not even a month ago, and now- now he was with some other girl? No, this wasn’t happening. How could she be so replaceable to him after all the time and love they shared? Her heart hurt, it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest and right out onto the floor in front of Eddie’s feet just to be crushed once again. This was her sign to move on, as impossible as it felt.

On the other side of things, Eddie felt like he was slowly being pulled out of that pit of darkness his mind swam in since the breakup. Rachel Fox, a girl he had known of since elementary school actually wanted to date him and after a few dates, they made it official. Eddie and Rachel, boyfriend and girlfriend. She saw Eddie in these dark times and she shown a light. And though he was slowly climbing his way out, she was patient with him. So careful not to tug on his fragile heart.

But sometimes, when they were alone together, Eddie couldn’t quite shake the thought of Y/N. He sees her in Rachel sometimes, when she’s extra caring or hugs him from behind, or kisses him in just the way to make shivers run down his spine. Something in his mind always snaped back to those times with Y/N, and he would catch a glimpse of what he used to have. And everytime he can’t help but still feel those feelings for her.

But he tried, he really did. Because Rachel was wonderful, she was a perfect girl. Only it felt like she wasn’t the perfect girl for him. He tried to appreciate everything he has right in front of him. Rachel loved him openly, quietly, in a way of her own that made him feel special. It’s just- she wasn’t Y/N. Y/N was loud with her love, just as he had been with her. She was a fierce lover, a solid foundation, and now that she was gone everything was rocky and shaky.

When the guilt of not being able to give Rachel the love she was giving him, he broke it off. He just couldn’t go on living in his head with the love of his life while this girl looked at him like he was her everything, it wasn’t right. He knew that. So he broke up with her, and he planned on going to Y/N and telling her everything. How he never stopped loving her and he was just too insecure about himself and let everything go too far. How he would never let her go again if she just took him back or even just let him into her life as a friend, he found himself and he could be the man she already thought he was. Because he realized something in the months that he wasn’t with her; it was all just talk. Nothing could replace the way he felt for this girl, nobody could tell him he wasn’t enough for her, not even himself. Eddie Munson was finally sure of himself and his feelings, and this time he was not going to let her go.

But he was too late.

III.

In the few months that Eddie and Rachel began dating, Y/N decided that enough was enough. She was Y/N motherfucking L/N. She was not going to let one stupid boy ruin her time. Nor any other boys. If she was going to date, it was going to be legit from now on and that’s exactly what she did. After about 6 months of working on herself, and figuring out what life is like by herself, she felt good enough in her own mind to begin opening back up again.

There was a period where she was stuck, drowning in the pain of losing Eddie. She couldn’t stand to be by herself. When she was at school she was always with someone in those first few months. At home, she was bugging her mom to hang out with her or out partying and drinking herself to death. It was only when she saw Eddie loving another girl that it snapped her out of that trance. Eddie would be so disappointed to see her doing this to herself, staying up all night crying and taking a shot of whatever liquor her parents had in the cabinet when she felt the slightest bit sober. It was like she could hear his voice in her head, telling her she was slowly ruining her own life. She needs to get up and rock life’s shit. She needs to do better, for herself.

That’s exactly what she did.

After some time, she was okay being alone. She could finally read again, something she enjoyed all her life until the breakup when she couldn’t stand her own thoughts. She could go to a party and be completely sober and have a wonderful time. She could go on a date with a boy and feel a connection.

The boy with said connection was David Mitchell. A linebacker who was really nice to talk to and made her have butterflies in her belly again. It was a relieving feeling, to feel excited about a boy who wasn’t Eddie Munson. And date after date, she came home feeling like maybe she was going to move on this time.

David was as lovely as any boy could be, he laughed loudly and was unapologetically himself not only around her but everyone else. She could see herself falling in love with him, though every time she caught Eddie staring at them from across the cafeteria, there was a tug at her heart. But that was over, right? He moved on, even said it the one time they spoke after the breakup.

But even after Eddie wasn’t in sight, she still thought of him. When David was professing his heart to her, that he savored every moment they were together like a dehydrated man finally getting a drop of water. Though David was amazing, on the lonely nights she didn’t think of David. She thought of Eddie.

It only got worse the day after news went around that Eddie and Rachel broke up. Y/N was sitting in David's car when she saw Eddie’s van whip in the school parking lot the way it always did, but he whipped it right to where her car was sitting. Like he was on a mission. Only to find she wasn’t in her car, she was in the spot beside it, in David’s. She only noticed the look of defeat on his face when David opened her door, pressed a kiss on her forehead, and said those god forsaken words, “I love you.”

It all felt like deja vu. Once upon a time, this was her and Eddie.

In that moment her heart broke once again. All those feelings came crashing back like the waves on a rocky shore.

She pushed them as far away as she could, but that entire day there was something in the back of her head, nagging at her to listen to her heart one more time. Stop using her brain and let herself fall back into those arms.

How could she though? She had everything right here. She was secure in her mind, she was sober, she had a guy who would walk thousands of miles just to tell her how much he loved her. She was happy, or at least that’s what she kept telling herself. It felt wrong to think that maybe she was unhappy with where she was, she wasn’t. Unsatisfied might be a better word for it. Even when she laid in his arms on those late nights, as happy as she felt, she knew this spot in his heart wasn’t meant for her.

Weeks went by before she could fully admit this to herself.

Weeks of her heart and her head battling each other, ripping and tearing at one another like starved lions fighting over the first live prey they’ve seen in days. It kept her up many nights, to the point where she thought of picking up that bottle again, but one thought kept her from doing that.

Eddie wouldn’t want me to go down that road again.

It was that thought that snapped it all into place for her. Eddie was the one that came to mind, not David. Sweet, sweet David, who was going to be heartbroken at this revelation. But it wasn’t fair to him, keeping him for as long as she had wasn’t fair to him, just as Eddie had thought about Rachel. Stupid great minds think alike. It’s as if they were never really meant to leave each other in the first place, who knew?

So she did it the very next day, unable to drag this on any longer. Yes, it hurt her very much, but it was for the best. She could not fully give herself to someone when she still loved another with all of her heart. All of her soul.

IV.

It wasn’t long (about 10 minutes to be exact) before word got around school that the golden couple, David and Y/N, broke up. As I’ve said before, Hawkins LOVES gossip, so much so that it got to the point where Y/N just decided to go home. A day, that was all she needed to get her mind together- or at least that’s what she told herself. At least now she wasn’t just wasting David’s time.

When news got around to Eddie, at first he didn’t know what to do with himself. This was it, finally after all this time of being out of time with Y/N, maybe this was his chance to win her back. Wait, but didn’t they just break up? Yes, this thought did run through Eddie’s mind. Being the gentleman he is, he decided to wait just a little longer, I mean he waited all this time. What's a few more days, or weeks just to let her feel all of her feelings. He just wanted her to be okay.

Eventually, days went by, and there was no sign of her at school. At this point, Eddie was getting worried. Y/N was at school the day after they broke up, looking like nothing was wrong. It made him feel like maybe this was hitting her harder than anything before. And though he might not know a lot, he did know Y/N. He knew her heart, and how fragile it was. He knew she needed a shoulder to cry on, to caress her sweet head and tell her everything was going to be okay. He decided he was going to go to her tonight, and offer that- as a friend. Not spring his feelings on her, just let her live and have someone on her side if she needed, he loved her enough that just having her in his life as even just a friend was enough.

So he did just that. That night, dark and stormy as he was, he grabbed the hand picked flowers he stole from his grandma’s yard earlier and ran to his van in the pouring rain.

Only he didn’t make it that far when a pair of headlights pulled into his driveway.

No, no, that’s not right. That familiar little Station Wagon wasn’t the one he thought it to be. That wasn’t Y/N’s car in his driveway. Not the girl he was just about to go see, practically falling out of her car and running up to him, hair already clinging to her face from the pouring rain.

But it was, it was his Y/N.

There she stood in front of him, looking like she just cracked some top secret government code, a familiar, warm look in her eyes.

“Eddie- I still love you.” Those words washed over him in a way he never thought they could. It was desperate, needy, all the things that he felt towards her. God, was this a dream? It had to be a dream. Y/N standing right in front of him confessing her love to him just as he had only hoped in his wildest dreams to happen again.

“I still love you too. I’m so wildly, unbelievably, profusely in love with you, and I’m sorry for everything that happened between us, but I’m ready to be with you again. I’ll wait- as long as you need me to, I’ll do it for you, Y/N-”

But his words are cut off by a kiss.

A single kiss that will lead to a lifetime of happiness.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #strangerthings4 #stranger things #st4 volume 2 #st4 #hellfire club

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