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unironicallycringe · 2 years

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they are gay

UPDATE: I fixed it, apologies, today is filled with a lot of pain meds. Anyways. I wrote the oneshot finally. Ghirabeck crackfic, written as seriously as possible to produce silly fluff, in...

The Real Treasure Was The Unlikely Romantic Bond We Developed Along The Way

Rated:T Word count: 2,024 Pairing: Ghirahim/Linebeck No content warnings

If there were an onlooker to observe, they might have thought that the Famed Adventurer Captain Linebeck had gone entirely mad.

The man was prowling through the old wreckage of a capsized ship run aground. The broken vessel bridged the rocky intertidal, its stern having lodged itself in a sandy berm where the shore blended from sea to land. He balanced across half-submerged masts and algae-slick rocks as the tide came in, speaking aloud as though having a full conversation with no one in sight.

The captain's presence lent a colorful splash to an otherwise dull shore. He was obviously a man of fame and wealth, and one who took great care to look the part. He wore his signature blue mariner's coat, its brass buckles gleaming under a recent shine job, while his bright red neckerchief adorned the space under his chin. Right above, a trimmed goatee and mustache gave him just the right dash of roguishly-handsome flair. The style was intentional, portraying a proper gentleman while still entrancing the imagination with hints of adventure. Of curious note, however, was the large sword strapped to his back. A man like Linebeck was more suited to a thin rapier, perhaps a scimitar at the very most; an obsidian, spiked greatsword was not his style, nor should he have even been capable of lifting it. The weapon's incongruity was more than a little noticeable.

"First Mate, a report please! Where did you say you got that treasure map from, exactly?" Linebeck asked aloud.

There was the slightest shimmering sound in response, quiet enough to make the captain seem as if he answered his own question moments later.

"The merchant from the shop ship? Ohh, I don't trust that, not one bit, you know!"

He paused, and in the silence came another breezy shimmer before he continued.

"It's not to be rude, I just don't think that he can verify the integrity of a ware like that. He doesn't have the treasure-hunting know-how, the hands-on experience, the keen-eyed passion! Not like us! I don't think he ever even leaves his ship. For all we know, he could have been sold a fake, and then we look like fools for buying it…"

There was a titter like the rustle of leaves. Linebeck rubbed at tired eyes with the heel of his palm.

"Oh, darling, won't you just come out and help me, then?"

In a flash of golden diamonds, another man suddenly appeared from inside the sword. This newcomer was gray-skinned and white-haired, and he was tall enough to tower over the captain. His garb was just as meticulously coordinated as the captain's. He wore a billowy, crimson blouse with ruffled cuffs, and a single, diamond-shaped earring dangled from his right ear. When he spoke, his voice was lilting and haughty.

"As you wish, Captain," this new entity chuckled. "Though, I had hoped a simple hunt like this would be no match for such a man of the sea as yourself…"

"Alright, alright, no need for that now, Ghirahim! Besides, I'm only having trouble searching because…well, because…" Linebeck quietly glanced around for an easy excuse. He frowned up at the sky through holes in the ruined ship's overturned hull. "Why, it's because the weather is just so dour! It's giving me a headache. Barometric pressure and all that, you know."

"Current barometric pressure shows no indication of a coming storm," Ghirahim remarked, casually cleaning his nails. "Nary a cloud in the sky, too."

Linebeck simply fell back on stubborn confidence, his pretense of choice.

"Right, well, I just know these things by instinct even before a storm blows in. You see, I'd been out sailing while you were stuck in your sword in that temple after all. I have fresher experience with these seas and her stormy temperaments."

"Oh. He just knows these things, he says," the sword spirit scoffed melodramatically. "I suppose that makes me mistaken then, and you don't need any of my other wisdom. I'll just have to pack my little rucksack and take my leave from this scavenger hunt then, for Captain Linebeck just knows these things far better than a sword spirit..."

"Now, now, I didn't mean it like that! No need to be like that!" the captain backtracked. Ghirahim's threat had no teeth whatsoever, and it was obvious he just wanted to be paid his fee of compliments. "Let's just forget about it and focus, darling? Why, I think you're quite wonderful at, uh…forecasting the weather! And countless other things! Really, you're perfect in so many ways."

That resulted in an approving hum from the playful demon. "Hmmm…fine, it's all water under the bridge. I just think you're funny when you put your foot in your mouth."

Ghirahim twirled his hair in a finger with a long, thoughtful look. Then, he turned on his heel, moving towards the upside-down cabin towards the stern.

"Why don't we check over here again?" he said abruptly.

"Certainly, I was just thinking that."

"Great minds think alike, then."

Linebeck eagerly trailed behind him. His eyes darted over the area with renewed vigor now that he had his exploring buddy fully present.

"Do you imagine it could've been buried in the sand during the wreck?" he suggested. "I was wondering, but I've no shovels on hand."

"Perhaps! Orrr… maybe it was stowed securely enough as to stay aboard while the wreck drifted," Ghirahim returned. He offered a knowing smirk before directing Linebeck to the ceiling - or rather, the ceiling that used to be the deck floor. The sand here sloped steeply upwards, bringing them within such easy reach of it that Ghirahim had to crouch to avoid bumping his head. "Did you know that pirates often use secret compartments to hide their stolen goods and jewels? Now that's a good start."

Linebeck's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Oh, yes, you're quite right!" he smacked a hand to his forehead and laughed a little, then proceeded to check each of the planks above their heads. "Of course! There could be a secret trapdoor on the floor of this very cabin! I'm sure I would have thought of that, had it not been for this dreadful headache…"

With his morale boosted, Linebeck analyzed the old floorboards attentively. He didn't notice Ghirahim wasn't actually looking very hard, instead only smugly observing. Eventually, the demon subtly shepherded them to a space where Linebeck pointed out a hidden, rusty lock that caught his eye.

"A-ha!! Ghirahim, look there! I think I've found something promising!" he sang.

"I'm looking! Good eye, Captain, well done."

"Let's hope the reward will be well worth the splinters…"

Linebeck produced a lockpick and fiddled with the old mechanism briefly. It clunked and scraped in protest before it yielded, allowing the trapdoor to fall open with a creaking groan. He stepped handily out of the way just as a large chest tumbled free from above. But instead of landing still like well-behaved loot, it bounced and rolled down the sandy slope in a bid for escape, headed towards the rising tide.

"Gah! An escape artist, eh?" Linebeck called, scrambling after it through loose sand. "Come back here, you slippery eel!"

Linebeck slid and sprang forward, catching the rogue chest just as it leapt from a rock towards the waves. Far from his earlier frustration, he laughed aloud in the triumph and fun of it all. The chest was surprisingly lightweight, but it didn't dampen the success. Regardless, treasure was treasure. He dragged it safely back to dry land and waved up to Ghirahim.

"Got it!" he cheered.

"A stunning display of dexterity, Captain," the demon yelled back. "Now what's inside?"

Linebeck's fingers searched for the chest's latch. With no lock in sight, he wrenched the lid open and peered inside…

…only to tilt his head in bewildered confusion.

"Huh? What's this?" he blurted. "Did some ruffian get to most of it first? There's just this paper hat and note left...oh, hold on, Ghirahim come look. There's some jewelry that looks exactly like your earring…"

Ghirahim appeared beside him suddenly in another shower of diamonds. The demon tapped his chin, trying very hard to look puzzled.

"How curious! 'Tis almost like … a matching piece to mine," he said innocently. "That's a paper crown, by the way."

Linebeck narrowed his eyes at Ghirahim in suspicion.

"Curious indeed," he said. A smile began to tug at the whiskered corners of his lips as understanding quickly dawned on him.

"Well? What other plunder is there? Does the note share any fanciful tales, Captain?"

Captain Linebeck did his best to fight off that growing smile and look serious.

"Ahem. Let's not get too hasty! We'll do this properly, shall we?" He began pulling each item out to appraise it, standard practice for the record-keeping of his hauls. Ghirahim summoned up quill and parchment to complete the scene.

"First Mate, if you'd please log Item #1 as Suspiciously Familiar Earring Which Certainly Wasn't Left By Anyone I Know." He hooked it into his left ear, opposite the one worn by the demon.

"Mhm, yes, counted and logged. What luck! Blue is definitely your color."

"Item #2: Paper Crown Belonging To A… " –Linebeck stifled a snicker as he read the cursive script across it– "...To A 'King Sexyman'. A historic find and a valuable artifact, I'd say."

"Logged with amendment: Well-Folded Paper Crown. Fine craftsmanship."

"Where did you even get this?"

"Who, me?" Ghirahim feigned ignorance poorly. "Why, I've never seen this treasure before, Captain, on my honor, cross my gem."

"You're not very good at lying…"

"That makes two of us. What's next?"

"Other than the note, there's more jewelry." Linebeck showed off a few other gifted trinkets one by one. Then, he came to two additional golden rings inlaid with sapphires. "You're giving me quite a few earrings, darling."

"Those aren't for ears. But worry about that later, handsome." Ghirahim shot him a wink. "Anyways, I'm simply dying to know what that note could possibly say, aren't you?"

Linebeck sighed, having already given up his play in favor of flushed cheeks and his persistent grin. He unfurled the parchment scroll to read aloud. Its writing was calligraphy of gaudy flourishes typical to a certain sword spirit.

"To My Dearest Captain Linebeck:

I hope you don't find the contents of this chest disappointing, for it was already empty when I got here. It seems our friend Beedle sold us a useless map. But fear not: I procured some other baubles to place inside for your enrichment and amusement! Besides, should you choose to look again, you may find that the real treasure was in front of you all along..."

Linebeck snorted. "Did you draw a winking face at the bottom here–?"

He turned to look at his companion, but the demon wasn't by his side anymore. So expectedly, he returned his attention to the emptied and open chest.

Ghirahim was now sat inside it, fluttering his eyelashes prettily with a hand under his chin.

Seemingly at a loss for words, the captain buried his reddened face in his hands.

"This is…wow…" His shoulders shook with muffled laughter. "Oh, how in the world did I end up finding someone who is so … well, so …"

"So clever? Beautiful? Creative? Excellent at designing surprise bonding activities? Please, take your time."

Bending forward, Linebeck merely captured the demon's lips with his own. His companion's mischief briefly melted into something softer, quieter. When he pulled away, he found that his had, too.

"...so perfect, actually," he finished. "Quite wonderful at many things, really, including surprise bonding activities."

Ghirahim grinned widely, but his voice was only a whisper. His fingers found Linebeck's to intertwine in.

"Speak for yourself. I dare say, you're the one with a new crown to boast of your perfection." He snapped the silly craft into existence and placed it atop Linebeck's wispy olive hair. That earned another shared snicker and the captain nuzzled his nose into the sword spirit's cheek.

"You know, in truth," Linebeck admitted. "I do believe you're my favorite treasure to have found."

#loz tumblr sexyman #ghirahim #linebeck #ghirabeck #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #skyward sword #my art #digital art #loz fanart #legend of zelda fanart #my fic #loz fanfiction #loz fanfic #oneshot #fluff #forgive me for any ooc vibes esp on linebeck1 its crackfic so i mean....yea lol #but also i was only able to get limited experience of his character since i dont own the game #anyways hope u like this silly commemoration of our to sexymen finalists In Love

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