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waithyuck · 3 years

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***part of the nct almost collab by @hyucksie***

pairing: zhong chenle x reader (f)

genre: ANGST, a single grain of fluff

word count: 7k

warnings: swearing, depictions of depression, overall sadness, frustration/anger, the reader is sort of obsessed with chenle, heartbreak, descriptions of a panic attack + anxiety, chenle becomes an ass :/, forced kissing, hyuck is a good friend :)

a/n: my piece for the ALMOST collab! I hope you all enjoy this mess of feelings 🥴 idk if this is actually good or not but I think I’m happy with the way it turned out ??? idk anyway enjoy lmao

———

Ever since you could remember, you’ve had a crush on Chenle.

Literally ever since you could remember, considering he’s been in your life since you were five years old.

Classic boy next door trope, you could say.

You attended the same school and even shared classes together throughout your elementary and middle school years. High school obviously had a lot more freedom, giving you the opportunity to pick and choose classes that suited your interests. naturally, that pulled the two of you apart in a certain sense.

You could recall one instance in the very beginning of your freshman year where you caught Chenle and some random girl kissing behind the bleachers. It tore you apart inside, so young a fragile at the time, but you threw on a smile like you always tended to do, and let out a quick and airy apology before running off into the safety of Donghyuck’s arms.

Nonetheless, you and Chenle were pretty damn close; kind of like those best friends you see in books or stories...except that in fiction they usually end up together, and you and Chenle, well...haven’t yet.

You still had hope though, that maybe he felt the same way you did for him. You held onto that hope and cherished it, considering it was the only reason you could get up and face the world on most days.

Yeah, you knew it was pathetic. at least you could acknowledge the fact that relying on feelings from a boy you liked was incredibly stupid, but hey, you had the brain of a senior in high school.

Anyway, you and Chenle were very friendly toward each other, and of course you would talk to each other out your individual windows sometimes late at night, but it wasn’t like those stories people read online. You were simply really good friends; nothing like brother and sister, but certainly not anything more than just friends.

You’d say you probably know more about Chenle than most; besides your shared friends Donghyuck (who was already in university, and your closest friend next to Chenle) and Jisung (who was just a tad bit younger and too shy to really hold a conversation with you). You paid close attention to him because, well, who doesn’t want to know everything about the person they’re crushing on?

Even so, it was definitely a given that Chenle was extremely passionate about his schoolwork and his future career. This kid wanted to be the ‘best lawyer the world has ever seen’, according to himself. You were always supportive of him, egging him on when the workload got to him and assuring him that everything would be okay in the end, even when he was exhausted from all his extracurricular activities and volunteering. Chenle seriously seemed like he would work himself to death.

You never really fully processed what him being passionate about his future would mean for you, and how it would affect your relationship and friendship with him. You didn’t even know that he applied to universities at all (since he didn’t tell you and you were kind of oblivious, to be honest), let alone which ones he strived for.

Fast forward to the present, it was currently the middle of November and school was going full swing, your senior year of high school passing by like a breeze. You were currently hanging out with Donghyuck, who was in town for the weekend from his university in the next city over. It was always nice to see him, his presence always putting a smile on your face.

You both sat at a window seat in the middle of a fairly busy restaurant, joking with each other and picking at your food lightly as you conversed. It grew silent for a moment, your chuckles dying down from some stupid attempt at a joke by Hyuck, before he broke it.

“Did you hear that Chenle got into Harvard?” Donghyuck absentmindedly spoke quietly, picking at the salad seated in front of him on the restaurant table. “Full fucking ride.” He didn’t even look up to meet your now bulging eyes.

Your blood ran ice cold as your heart began to seemingly stop beating, freezing just like your veins.

“He what?” you practically screeched, causing the boy across from you to jump slightly.

Hyuck looked at you then, his cheeks filled with food as he grasped his chest dramatically.

“Uh yeah?” he replied like it was obvious. “He’s really passionate about his career choice, you know.”

“Of course I know!” you shrieked at him, your hands going up to pull at your hair exasperatedly. You chewed your lip, your heart pounding and squeezing in your chest at the notion of Chenle’s inevitable departure from your life. “What, you think I wouldn’t know that the boy I’ve known since I was a LITERAL CHILD, isn’t passionate about his future?!”

Donghyuck was now looking around the both of you, taking notice of the strangers who were now staring at your visibly panicked form.

“Y/N, calm down, please–“

“I’m calm! I’m perfectly fine! ahah,” you chewed on your nails frantically as you tried to quiet your mouth and your mind, your leg shaking nonstop under the table, causing the silverware to shake.

You distracted yourself by looking out the window to your immediate left, trying to watch the people walk by like it was some sort of therapy for your bustling thoughts.

“Why didn’t he tell us he was applying to–“ you cut yourself off quietly, stopping your question short. ”...How does he know already?” you asked, your voice small.

“Early action or some shit, I guess.”

It was quiet for a few minutes between you both; Hyuck continued to munch on his salad and you could feel his eye warily watching you as you chewed your nails to nubs.

“...Are you okay?” he finally questioned, his voice comforting as he pulled you from out of your own head.

“Just,” you bit your lip, your eyes spaced out as you stared down at the floor. “Why couldn’t he have picked a school around here?” Your voice was small and quiet, and you could hear the boy across from you sigh. “Why couldn’t he just do that, like you?”

He didn’t really say anything then, picking up the fact that those were most definitely rhetorical questions. You didn’t touch any more of your food, your stomach tied up in knots, making you feel sick.

“Y/N...”

You didn’t look at him, your face hot with embarrassment from how much pain your heart was actually feeling at the news that Chenle, the boy you have loved for years, would be leaving you.

“He’s really excited about this...you…” he trailed off, trying to pick his next words carefully. “You need to show him some support, even though I know it hurts you.”

You knew that deep down, Hyuck was absolutely right. What kind of friend would you be if you were selfish and kept yourself wrapped up in your own feelings? You sniffled and picked your head back up, finally looking at him.

“You’re right. you are absolutely right.” you finally breathed out, trying to slowly calm your aching anxiety. “Just like always, Hyuck.” You cracked a slight smile then, and he returned it, seeming relieved that you snapped out of your panic, even if it was just a little bit.

“At least you can acknowledge it, angel.” He sent you a wink along with the pet name, and you jokingly gagged, which caused the both of you to laugh.

With the mood seemingly lifted, you were able to enjoy the rest of your time with Donghyuck, even if the anxiety of Chenle leaving was still a heavy presence in the back of your reeling mind.

——

That same night, you laid yourself across your pillows and stared up at the ceiling, not even bothering to change out of your slightly uncomfortable jeans. The lights were on and all was quiet as you laid trapped in your own thoughts, the inevitable scene of your crush of many, many years leaving replaying on loop inside your head.

You tried to distract yourself by working on some miscellaneous homework assignments, trying to get your work done as quickly and efficiently as possible.

You were just getting in the flow of writing a rough draft for an essay when you heard your mother yell up the steps at you.

“Y/N!” she called, startling you. when you replied with a ‘Yeah?’ she continued, “Chenle is here, I’m sending him up!”

Your heart jumped and you quickly shot up from your bed, trying to get rid of any clothes strewn around your floor to at least make your room somewhat presentable. As you slammed the hamper lid shut, you heard a small knock on the door before Chenle let himself in, already beaming at you.

“Y/N, I have some awesome news!” he immediately spoke, shutting the door behind him. You will yourself not to let your heart sink, already knowing what he wanted to share with you he reached behind him to grab his book bag, and once it was in his grasp he set it on the floor, taking a seat beside you on your bed.

You tried not to let your heart race as his shoulder brushed against yours, and you tried to convert up your nerves by giving him a smile in return. Chenle rummaged through his back before angrily grunting, turning to face you.

“I left something at home that I wanted to show you, shit,” he murmured, his hand coming up to swipe over his face. “I can go grab it real quick–“

“Let’s just go to your room, it’s literally right across. We can climb,” you suggested, wanting to escape the suffocating warmth of your own bedroom. Plus, you were always more comfortable sitting on his mattress anyway. “It’ll be fun, like when we were younger.”

You two both grinned at each other then, Chenle nodding his head in compliance as you both stood, preparing yourselves for the leap out of your bedroom window.

You didn’t bother with a jacket; you were only going to be out in the cold for about five minutes tops, anyway. You allowed him to go first, his body jumping out and landing on the roof of your shed with ease. You quickly followed suit, landing a little rough but still in one piece, nonetheless.

He generously offered to prop you up first so you could skillfully open his window from the outside, which you gladly accepted with a smirk on your lips.

“You’re the best at it.” he replied, slightly whining at your smug reaction. “Always have been. For some reason I can never get it open!!”

You ignored him after that, focusing on keeping your balance on his shoulders while you lifted the window open, pulling yourself up on the sill and throwing yourself inside with a dull thud. You heard the scrapings of Chenle making his way up the side of his house, and he toppled in not long after you.

“I’m definitely never doing that again,” he panted, laying flat on his back on the floor for a few moments. You stared back at him from his bed, giggling at his heavily rising and falling chest. “Maybe not never...but not again anytime soon, that’s for sure.”

He managed to pull himself up from the carpet, dusting off his pants and shrugging off his coat before joining you on the bed. He pulled a piece of paper from his nightstand, and your heart began to pound with untamed anxiety.

“This,” he started, his eyes sparkling as he looked at the piece of paper before looking back at you. “is my acceptance letter to Harvard. I got in, Y/N!!!”

Chenle was so excited, and you couldn’t help but swoon at the absolute elation in his eyes as he went on about what he was accepted for and even what the letter said.

You, of course, didn’t tell him that you already knew, courtesy of Donghyuck. If you would have known that Chenle applied to Harvard, you would have had no doubts from the very beginning that he would get in.

Maybe he didn’t tell anyone just in case he wasn’t accepted, and if no one knew then there would be no one to disappoint.

You knew that no matter what, you could never ever be disappointed in Chenle. He was too smart and too good to ever be thought of in that way.

All you could do was smile and smile some more as he went on, barely breathing before he finally took a short pause. His eyes fell down to look at his denim covered legs, and he bit his lip as you watched him in the sudden quiet of his room.

It didn’t last very long, and he took a deep breath before breaking the short silence.

“They want me to fly out there as soon as possible,” he finally spoke, looking up at you from where his gaze was previously on his lap. “I talked to our school, and they’re willing to let me graduate early. I have all my credits, which is really cool.”

Chenle seemed excited, but he spoke softly, as if he knew how hard this news was for you to hear. You surprised yourself at how composed you were acting, despite the jabbing pain you felt in your heart with every word that passed through his lips.

“That’s great,” you commented, a tight smile lining your face, your voice so close to breaking. “When do you leave?”

A question you didn’t really want the answer to. You didn’t want him to leave at all, and gaining the knowledge of a deadline wouldn’t ease your aching heart any.

He shuffled on the bed, pulling his legs up to sit fully on the mattress facing you. He clasped his hands together and sighed, his bleached blonde hair falling into his eyes.

“The end of December, right before new years,” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, his eyes trying to gauge your reaction, even though you weren’t really giving him anything to work with.

That was really soon…

“Wait, but that’s before our semester ends—“

“I know.” he cut you off, smiling brightly. “Like I said, the school is alright with this all happening. They’re really happy for me.”

You sighed, nodding in understanding. It was silent for a moment once more between the two of you; only the sounds of distant cars driving down the otherwise quiet street could be heard for a few moments.

“I just want you to know that I’m really happy for you too, Chenle.” you softly spoke, your hand reaching out to boldly cover his own sitting on the bed in front of you. He stared down at your now touching fingers, but didn’t move to pull away from your warmth.

“Thank you,” he smiled, surprising you by taking your hand in his own and squeezing it, taking your contact with each other a step further. “It means a lot coming from you.”

“Does my approval matter to you?” you questioned, not able to keep it from slipping past your lips. His eyebrows quirked up and he tilted his head a little, looking away briefly before making eye contact once again.

“Yeah, I guess it does.” he replied. “I never really thought about it before, but now that you brought it up...it really does, so thank you.”

You stared at each other then, your lips parted and dry, your brain not sure what to say to him in response. Your heart was hammering in your chest and your ears were consumed with the rhythmic beating and blood rushing happening within your own body.

His brown eyes and dyed blonde hair captivated you and your tongue felt like sandpaper inside your mouth. he looked like he was fighting with himself in a way; restricting his body from moving closer to your own as you sat there in the silence of his room. Your body seemed to mechanically move on its own as it scooted closer to him, your fingers tightening around his as you situated yourself against his body, your face now just next to his. His eyes flicked down to your lips before moving back to your wide eyes, and you felt your stomach jump in anticipation.

Before either of you could do anything, a loud bang came from outside of his bedroom door, followed by a yell from his mother.

You sprung away from each other and you immediately shot up from his bed, already sprinting to his open window from which you came in from. Chenle stood as well, looking between you and the locked door that held his mother back.

“I’ll see you at school.” you hurriedly whispered, taking one more glance at his red cheeks before leaping out the window and down onto the grass below.

You climbed your way up to your own open bedroom window, using the shed and throwing yourself inside quickly before shutting it and closing the curtains. Once you were sure everything was locked and the lights were all off, you slammed yourself down onto your mattress, shoved your face into your pillows, and screamed.

——

“Can we go for a walk around the neighborhood? I want to see all the Christmas lights before people start taking them down.” Chenle spoke through the speaker on your phone, his face not in view on the screen as you FaceTimed each other. You heard shuffling on his end as you focused your attention on your laptop screen, mindlessly shopping online for random things to keep your mind off of the fact that Chenle was leaving in just three days.

The few weeks you had with him passed by like a blur, and you both tried to spend as much time together as possible. Between having to spend time with your family and other friends, it wasn’t as much as you would have liked it to have been.

“Yeah, sure.” you mumbled, closing the laptop on your bed with a soft clack. “Meet you outside in fifteen?”

“Make it ten.” he replied with a smile in his voice, before hanging up.

You sighed heavily before putting your coat on, bundling yourself up for the bite of the cold outside. It was bitterly freezing, and you knew without your whole winter ensemble that you wouldn’t be able to feel your fingers within two seconds flat of being out there.

Fumbling with the buttons and zipper on your coat, you managed to make it outside in seven minutes even, meeting him on the sidewalk just down your driveway.

“Wow, not late for once.” he commented, nudging your shoulder as the two of your began to walk in sync down your brightly lit street.

“Knock it off, I can be on time when I try hard enough.” You rolled your eyes playfully at him, a hint of a smile gracing your lips as you began to take in the beautiful lights around you.

Christmas truly was a beautiful time of year; not just for the holiday itself, because not everyone celebrated it obviously, but for the decorations and the sense of home and warmth.

Chenle and yourself both kept relatively quiet as you walked on, only making noise when you wanted to get each other’s attention to point out certain decorations on some houses. It was rather peaceful, and your heart was swelling with warmth in adoration as you looked to admire his face, which was illuminated by the colorful Christmas lights surrounding you.

Your stomach jolted slightly. This may be the last time you see him for a while. You didn’t mean for the intrusive thought of his absence to wiggle its way into your mind, but it was too late to fight it off.

‘I should just confess’, you thought, now nervously picking at your nails, and chewing your lip to bits. ‘There may not be another chance like this, not for a while.’

It was selfish...but it was now or never.

Too shy to actually confess your feelings first—and thinking back to certain moments that you’ve shared with Chenle to come to this conclusion—you decided to take a different approach.

Get him to confess first.

“I need to ask you something,” you blurted out, your brain scolding your mouth silently for being so goddamn reckless in a moment of weakness.

Maybe this was a bad idea...

Chenle quirked his eyebrow up at you before stopping, turning to face you entirely.

“What’s up?” he replied, his hands stuffed deeply in his pockets in a desperate attempt to keep them warm. His nose was red from the chill in the air and his lips were the same shade from him biting them, the sheen of his chapstick almost completely gone now. His eyes were glassy from the wind blowing and even though his cheeks were blotched in crimson, you thought this was the most beautiful he had ever looked.

You couldn’t do this. Fuck, you really couldn’t do this. Why did you have to open your big, stupid mouth—

“Hey Y/N? Are you in there?” he suddenly broke you from your own thoughts, causing you to jump a little in your boots. “What did you wanna ask me?”

“Uh,” Quick, think of something dumb! “You know, why is perfume so damn expensive?”

You wanted to throw yourself into a frozen lake at this point, as you watched his brow furrow in confusion.

“Uhm, I don’t know,” he bit his lip for about the hundredth time since you started your walk. “Ingredients maybe? Higher end perfumes probably have stuff in them that are more hard to come by, so that’s probably wh—“

“Do you like me?” you interrupted him loudly, squeezing your eyes shut as you practically belted out your original question.

He seemingly froze in front of you, and definitely not from the cold air whipping around your bodies as the wind harshly blew.

“Do I...like you.” he repeated back, formed as a statement more than a question. “Like...as in romantically?”

You didn’t even have to nod for him to know what you meant; the look in your eyes told him enough. The pleading, glassy look as hope swirled beneath your irises, just absolutely begging him to say that yes, he did like you in the way that you liked him.

“Yes,” you confirmed audibly anyway, heat flickering throughout your entire face. “You know, b-because I think before we almost kissed in your room that one time not too long ago, and we’ve been more touchy lately—“ you would have continued on your panicked rambling if he hadn’t cut you off, beginning to speak solemnly.

“Y/N...I..” he started, shaking his head as he tried to get his thoughts straight. “I do. I really do,” your heart jumped at his confession, and you allowed it to spread in your body like wildfire. It didn’t get very far, because he continued to speak. “but I...I can’t.”

You visibly deflated; your heart shattered like glass and everything colorful around you seemed to fade into a greyscale, the holiday lights surrounding the two of you no longer sparking any kind of joy. “This scholarship...my future...it’s important to me. I can’t let anything stop me, I’m so sorry…”

“Chenle...” you whimpered, stepping closer to him boldly, unsure of how to properly express your feelings to him at this point. You dared to breach his personal space, and he watched your every move with those same, glossy brown eyes that you adored every day for so many years.

You tilted your head, your lips ghosting over his own as he let out shaky breaths, yours matching his as you stood together in the cold.

His lips were right there. unmoving, as he didn’t pull away from you. If your leaned forward just a little more...almost….almostalmostalmost—so close—

“Y/N, stop.” he suddenly muttered, pulling you out of your trance. His head drew back as he stepped away, still in your reach but far enough to where your lips weren’t brushing against each other’s anymore.

You gritted your teeth at the rejected feeling that bubbles up inside you, the tears welling your eyes before spilling hotly down your frozen cheeks.

“I love you, Chenle.” you cried, gripping the rough material of his jean jacket. The darkness of the night could have hidden your tears if it weren’t for the moonlight blaring down on the two of you like a spotlight. “Please, I love you.”

He looked like he was trying to hold himself together, his lips set in a straight line as he looked away from you, his hands hovering over your wrists. Chenle gripped them suddenly, not hard, but with enough force to get you to pay attention.

“I love you too, Y/N.” he finally admitted, his voice quiet as he tried to restrain his emotions. “But I can’t pass this up. I just can’t.”

You should have forced yourself to understand. This was his life, for fucks sake. You shouldn’t have let yourself feel selfish, thinking that he would drop everything to stay here. With you.

“We can’t be together. I’m sorry.” he finished with that, slowly dropping your wrists from his hold. “If I…” he swallowed thickly. “If I let you kiss me, I know I wouldn’t be able to leave. I know it.”

He took in your figure at last, watching as your tears fell freely from your eyes in hot rivers down your already stained cheeks.

“Look, maybe someday this would work...but just, not now.” he sounded exasperated, running a hand through his hair. “Your life is here, and my life will be starting there. I’ll be busy constantly and it just...won’t be fair. It really won’t, you have to understand, Y/N.”

He watched as your hands shook when you lifted them to wipe your face, solemnly nodding in acknowledgement to his words.

“Okay.” you croaked, not meeting his eyes as you turned to walk away, leaving him in the middle of the park you used to play at when you were kids.

You weren’t going to put up a fight. You weren’t going to plead with him anymore. You were going to try your absolute hardest to stop yourself from being selfish in that way.

You were just going to have to live with that fact that you couldn’t have him right now. That you almost could have had him.

Almost.

——

Chenle faded out of your life like he wasn’t even present in the first place. You barely heard from him after he left; there would be miscellaneous texts here and there but overall, he was right in the end. He was really always busy.

His school workload was heavy, and you were aware of that, but a selfish part of you always seemed to get angry at him for not responding to you.

The worst part was not knowing whether he wanted to reach out to you at all.

He didn’t come home during summer break, which broke your heart a little bit. Donghyuck tried his best to be there for you as you went through the motions; you were constantly miserable at the reality that you most likely would never call Chenle your own.

Chenle didn’t keep in contact much with Hyuck or Jisung either, seemingly leaving you all in the dust as he went about his new life away from you. His parents talked to him all the time obviously, and your own mother would dawdle on about something that Chenle achieved at school to you, but you’ve come to pretty much ignore everything that had to do with him.

You went about getting your own education, passing your classes by the skin of your teeth during the first semester and then producing the same results during the semester after that.

You really couldn’t blame yourself for feeling so utterly heartbroken; you were in love with that boy for most of your life, and for him to suddenly rip himself away from you like that was wholeheartedly agonizing.

Chenle rarely ever came home; he did briefly for Christmas, but then hurriedly left immediately after, not even staying for the full duration of his break.

You actually ran into him by accident one day while he was still home, but you didn’t stay in his presence very long before wanting to go to the safety of your bedroom and cry.

“Did you even miss me?” you whimpered out, exhausted after your small talk had turned into a bit of an argument. He sighed heavily, frustrated no doubt. you could hear it in his voice as he spoke to you.

“What do you want me say, Y/N?” he countered, scoffing at you as you held back the pain you felt burning behind your eyes, desperate to cry. “I haven’t even had the time to miss anyone, let alone you.”

You stood in silence for a moment, baffled at his dismissive attitude of it all. It’s like he didn’t even remember that he told you he liked you too all those months ago.

“You...” your voice cracked a little, and you looked away from him. “Did you even try, Chenle? Did you even try to find the time to talk to me?”

He didn’t say anything back, only staring at you before tearing his eyes away, his jaw locked. You felt as if you already knew the answer.

You turned to leave, but felt his hand immediately circle around your arm, roughly pulling you back to face him. Taking one look at his face, you knew he was angry.

“Do you know how much it hurt, Y/N?” he barked out, making you flinch back slightly. “Do you know how much it hurt to leave you? I–“ he cut himself off as his voice cracked, turning his head away and swallowing heavily before continuing. “I wanted to, so bad Y/N. You have no idea.”

Your lips parted in shock, and you had a million things you wanted to say, but you managed to keep it all inside as he went on.

“But I had to control myself. I already came to terms with the fact that this,” he gestured between the two of you, “wasn't going to ever work out. I figured that out a long time ago... I had to distance myself from you, I’m sorry.”

You really didn’t want to accept that apology. You really really didn’t. Your anger was swirling inside you, a typhoon of emotions building and building as you stared back into his now cold brown eyes. To you, they used to be so full of warmth and friendliness, and now they looked distant and unentertained, like he didn’t want to be here in the first place.

That hurt like a bitch.

You scoffed at him, making his eyebrows raise in confusion before they furrowed, his eyes narrowed at you.

Yeah, you were probably being a bitch for not accepting his apology, and all of this was turning out to be super petty, but you felt like he deserved it just a little bit.

Deep down you knew he had a point; his reasoning was valid and it all made sense, but when did having feelings for someone like you had for him ever lead to rational decision making?

“You know, Chenle,” you started, shoving your hands in your pockets roughly to shield them from the cold. “I really thought that we could still be friends after all the bullshit, I really did.” He watched you carefully as you practically spat forth those words, venom dripping in your tone. “But then you went and messed it all up.”

You probably shouldn’t have added that last part; playing the blame game never worked in anyone’s favor in the end, but your emotions once again got the best of you.

Smoke practically blew out his ears as his mouth parted in shock. Your heart dropped when you heard the sound of sarcastic laughter falling out of his mouth, knowing full well that you fucked up this time.

“I messed it up? Me??” He was pointing to his own chest for emphasis, and you had the audacity to give him a quick nod. “Ahah, wow Y/N, that’s really rich coming from you.”

You didn’t even have a second to get a word in before he crowded your space, so close that your chests were touching. You drew in a sharp breath, not sure what in the hell he was doing right now.

“You were the one that was practically begging me to kiss you that night, remember? You were trying so hard,” he spat, so close to your face now that you couldn’t even feel the cold nipping at your cheeks anymore (whether it be from the embarrassment lacing through your veins or the extensive heat from his body, you weren’t sure).

You couldn’t think of anything to say in response; all you knew was that he was dishing out pretty low blows, and each word was like a knife being plunged into your chest.

“Like, how desperate are you?” he added in, now moving his hands to grip your waist, making you squeak in surprise. “You want a kiss so bad? Get fucking ready.”

You weren’t sure what he meant and your brain was having such a hard time comprehending anything going on in that moment, the pressure of his hands gripping your waist making all thoughts fly out of your head besides one.

Him.

“Wait, Chenle–“ you placed a hand on his chest to try to push him away, unsure of how you felt about this situation.

“What, you don’t want it now?” his voice was borderline malicious as he spoke to you now, making you feel incredibly small and vulnerable under his gaze.

“No I–“

“You come to me and give me all that bullshit, and now when I’m trying to give you something that you wanted,” his grip grew tighter. “you don’t want it anymore? Make up your damn mind, Y/N.”

You did want it. There was still a huge part of you that screamed at you to just let it happen, but you knew it would be wrong. So fucking wrong. He wasn’t doing this because he wanted to; he was doing this because he wanted all this to end right here.

You were scared. He was scaring you with the way he was acting right now.

“Chenle, please—“

“Just shut up.”

Chenle didn’t allow you to get another word in before he crashed his lips against yours, roughly pressing his against your own so abruptly that you felt your teeth pierce the inside of yours. You tasted blood, but it wasn’t the first thing on your mind at the moment; Chenle moved his mouth against yours aggressively and without any emotion besides anger behind it, and you absolutely hated it.

Sure, it felt nice to finally get what you wanted, but in a way, you definitely were not. This isn’t what you wanted at all. You wanted to love him and you wanted him to love you...and you wanted it to feel nice.

His hands slid down to your hips and your stomach jumped in surprise as you tried desperately to match his pace to at least kiss him back a little bit. It didn’t last long, and with a strong push on your hips he effectively pulled away, your body stumbling back from the force of his shove.

His lips were red and puffy and his eyes were dark as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, panting slightly. You probably looked somewhat the same, but didn’t even move from where you stood as he stared at you. You felt your eyes become glassy from staring into space too long, and you felt your hands shake, but most definitely not from the cold.

“There’s your fucking kiss.” He finally said, taking two steps back. “Goodbye, Y/N.”

You didn’t even watch him walk back into his house. You ran as fast as you could back into your own home and immediately slammed the front door shut behind you, darting up the stairs without a single word.

You barged into your bedroom and without even removing your winter garments, you threw yourself down onto your mattress for what seemed like the millionth time in the last year, and began to sob.

——

Chenle’s parents said that he had commitments at the school, some sort of research or whatever, and that’s why he couldn’t stay home long. At the time, all you really thought was ‘good riddance’, but you knew that your heart would be back to obsessing over him in no time, even after what had happened between the two of you on the day you try so hard not to remember.

Well, at least he was flourishing at school.

When Donghyuck found out what had happened between you and Chenle during the time he was home from university, he was ready to kill someone. That someone being Chenle.

“He did what to you?!” Donghyuck screamed over the phone, causing you to pull it from your ear from the sheer volume of his screeching. “I’ll kill him, Y/N. I swear I’ll fucking kill that kid.”

“No need, Hyuckie. It’s not that big of a deal.” you replied somberly, sighing as you relaxed on your mattress against your pillows.

“Not a big deal??? Angel, he basically forced that shit on you,” Hyuck was speaking softly to you now, a stark contrast to his yelling from a few moments prior. “You should be furious at him. You need to tell someone—“

“I’m not mad,” you replied quietly, chewing on your bottom lip. “A part of me wanted that to happen, Hyuck. It just…” your voice trailed off, your brain trying to think of the right words to say. “Wasn’t what I was expecting, is all.”

The line was quiet and you weren’t sure what to say next, and Donghyuck must have felt the same. It was a really fucked up situation, you had to admit.

“I think I…” your voice sounded broken, but you continued. “I think I still love him.” The words came out as a whisper and they surprised even yourself, not expecting to admit such a thing after all that has happened.

“Oh, angel…” was all Donghyuck replied with before you quickly made up some lame excuse to hang up the call with him. You hurriedly pressed the ‘end call’ button and threw yourself back on the bed, spacing out once again just like you always do.

You managed to bear with not seeing or talking to Chenle after the incident (a huge part of you didn’t want to, after hearing what he had to say and also what he did during Christmas break), but when you stumbled across a post of his one night a couple months after while scrolling through Instagram, it had your heart shattering completely.

“What the fuck,” you whimpered, already struggling to hold back tears as your watery eyes stared daggers at the photo displayed on your screen. “What. The. Fuck?” you said it louder this time, with more malice, and you threw your phone across your bed to get it away from you.

Chenle had posted a photo of himself and another girl, kissing each other while snow fell in some random park you didn’t give a fuck about. He found someone else. He fell for someone else.

The hypocrisy.....he didn’t want to be with you because he wanted to focus on school, but then he goes and starts up a relationship with someone else anyway?

Maybe he did it to spite you.

At first, you felt pathetic for crying about it. You tried to muffle your cries in your pillow, holding back the ugly sobs that you so desperately wanted to let out. You silently cried, your heart aching and your lungs gasping for air as you fought the pain in the dark pit inside your chest.

You began to grow angry after a while, your thoughts spinning wildly out of control as your chest heaved, your nails digging into your sheets to keep yourself from clawing at your own burning throat.

You screamed.

You screamed and screamed and cried until there was nothing left inside you. You needed to let out the festering hatred you had grown for him since he left over a year ago. It was ugly and it was cacophonous, but you didn’t care anymore.

Your parents were luckily out, and you didn’t give a fuck about your neighbors. You poured out every raw emotion you felt until you sensed yourself beginning to calm; your chest no longer rose and fell like you had been running a marathon, your heartbeat quieted to a low thrum in your ears instead of a pounding drum, and your muscles relaxed, allowing you to lie down flat against your mattress.

Your pillow was soaked through with tears and your head was thumping, like your brain was smashing a baseball bat to the inside of your skull. You breathed in, five long seconds, and breathed out, seven seconds more, before bathing in the quiet of your room.

Your phoned buzzed from the end of your bed, and you hesitantly picked your head up, sliding to sit and reach for it tentatively.

It was a text message.

From: donghyuckie :P

hey, saw chenle’s post. ice cream in 20? I’ll pick you up

You smiled, surprising yourself entirely, as if you weren’t just screaming your head off just five minutes ago. You were incredibly happy to have such a good friend in your life, immediately knowing what you needed when you needed it. You were quick to reply.

To: donghyuckie :P

sounds good, I’ll see you then :)

You smiled again, and didn’t stop the whole night, Donghyuck's presence always comforting and joyful.

You would be okay, you knew you would. All you had to do was just live your own life, forget about Chenle, and be happy...always with a smile.

#nct-writers #neowritingsnet #neothestars #nctcreations #nct: almost #chenle #zhong chenle #nct #nct dream #chenle angst #chenle scenarios #nct angst #nct dream angst #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #idk how to tag shjsjs #chenle fanfic #???#chenle x reader

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jaybear1701 · 4 years

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Scylla's so engrossed in the latest issue of the American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology that she doesn’t notice Tally enter her office until she plops herself in a seat on the other side of her desk.

“Good morning!” Tally greets.

“Morning.” Scylla smiles, closing the journal. “You’re up bright and early.”

“Couldn’t sleep. I think we might have a break in the Windpipe murders,” Tally waves a manila folder and Scylla grits her teeth that Raelle’s anatomically incorrect nickname is spreading. Even the news media has picked it up in their coverage, much to Scylla’s chagrin. “Thought maybe Raelle would be down here so I could share the news.”

Scylla's brows knit together. "Why would she be down here?"

“Because you’re practically joined at the hip,” Tally says matter-of-factly, like, duh.

The blaze on Scylla’s cheeks spreads fast and fierce. “T-that’s not,” she stutters. “We’re not joined at the hip.”

“That’s not what Sergeant Quartermaine says.” Tally shrugs. “Or Abigail. Or Dr. L’Amara. Should I go on?”

And because Raelle has the worst timing in the whole world, that’s when she decides to stroll into Scylla’s office, bright and fresh, carrying two cups of coffee. Because of course.

“Morning, Doc,” Raelle sets one cup down in front of Scylla as Tally lifts one, wholly amused eyebrow. “Tally, this is an unexpected surprise.”

“Wish I could say the same.” Tally smirks. Scylla wishes she could just disappear from this conversation.

“Wha?” Raelle looks confused as she sits next to Tally.

“Nothing.” Tally eyes Scylla’s cup of shame before pouting at Raelle. “Hey, why don’t you ever bring me coffee?”

“One, you’re usually not in until later.” Raelle ticks off the points with her fingers. “Two, I know Gerit always makes you a snooty pourover, anyway. And, three, well I can’t think of a three. But you can have mine, if you’d like.”

Raelle offers her coffee to Tally, who shakes her head dramatically. “No, it’s fine if you like Scylla more.” Tally winks at Scylla, while Raelle flushes. “Besides, I’ll only stay long enough to share my news so you both can get back to your little coffee date.”

Raelle and Scylla both avoid making eye contact with each other, but neither corrects Tally’s assumption. Scylla’s pulse flutters as she reaches out for her coffee and takes a small sip. Kona, no cream, one sugar. Just like she likes it.

“So,” Raelle clears her throat. “What do you have?”

Tally scoots to the edge of her seat. "How much do you guys know about the history of Salem?"

“Honestly? Not much.” Scylla shrugs. “Which is sad given that my family apparently came over with the early settlers.”

“Really!” Tally’s brows shoot up. “Let’s put a pin in that for now. How about the Salem Witch Trials?”

"The basics, really. I'm no expert." Scylla’s not sure where Tally’s going with this line of questioning, and neither does Raelle.

“What’s this have to do with the case, Tal?” Raelle asks.

Tally raises a finger. "Patience, my dear Collar. Patience. As you may recall, one of the first victims was Constance Treefine. Another, Benjamin Saint. And yet another was Kendall Swythe."

"All High Atlantics," Raelle taps the lid of her cup. “Bells and I already questioned their families. Nothing but dead ends.”

Tally nods. "Right, but maybe you're talking to the wrong people. Those tattoos on the victims? They're sigils. Of demons." She pulls out a sheet of paper, and hands it to Scylla. Sure enough, it depicts the markings Scylla found on the bodies.

"So you're saying, what?" Raelle asks when she gets the paper, tilting her head and flipping the paper.

"What if the killer is targeting people they think are 'evil' in some way. Like those rumored to be descended from the original Salem Witches. People like the High Atlantics."

It's a common enough tall tale in Salem. One that even Scylla remembers from her time growing up in town, though she always suspected it was a myth perpetuated by High Atlantics themselves to enhance their own prestige.

"But other victims weren't High Atlantics," Scylla points out.

"Also true! But, on a hunch, I ran a search and all of them are members of the Associated Daughters and Sons of Early American Witches. The name speaks for itself.” Tally pulls out yet another paper from her folder. This time it appears to be a roster, which she passes to Raelle.

Raelle squints at the list. "You're saying the killer is, what, some kind of witch...hunter?"

"I know it sounds crazy, but we're clearly not dealing with a sane person right now," Tally says. "This could be the key we need to find a common thread about who they’ve interacted with.”

“Like someone with access to potent chemicals,” Scylla says, impressed.

“Exactly!” Tally beams.

"This is incredible, Tal." Raelle hands the paper back and pulls out her phone. “I can’t wait to tell Bellweather.”

“I thought she was off today because she had a thing for her cousin’s wedding.”

“She does,” Raelle types out a quick text. “But she’ll want to know about this.”

“You know what we should do?” Tally’s eyes are round, excitement rolling off her in waves. “We should go out to celebrate this weekend.”

“Celebrate what?” Raelle asks. “We haven’t caught the asshole yet.”

“Celebrate our hard work,” Tally explains as if she’s talking to a child. “Boost morale. You know, rah-rah interdepartmental unity! What do you say?”

Raelle fidgets in her chair. “I mean, I’m game if Ramshorn’s in.”

They both turn to look at Scylla--Raelle cautiously optimistic, Tally openly hopeful and expectant. Scylla knows she should say no. But Tally's enthusiasm is utterly contagious, and her heart answers for her.

“Sure.”

***

The pizza parlor is packed by the time Scylla arrives, the air teeming with conversation and the mouthwatering aroma of baked dough, tomato sauce, and cheese. Scylla nervously tucks her hands in her skinny jeans, worrying that perhaps she spent too much time on her makeup and hair and would look like she was trying too hard… and then feeling annoyed at herself for worrying in the first place. It’s just dinner with co-workers. No big deal.

She sees Raelle waving in the distance, beckoning her to a booth tucked in a relatively secluded corner of the restaurant.

"Glad you made it, Doc.” Raelle smiles, as attractive in casual jeans and a navy flannel shirt as she is in her work suits. “I wasn't sure you'd show up."

The truth is, Scylla almost backed out. Had even dreamed up a fairly plausible excuse to back out. But it’s been several days since she last saw Raelle and, the truth is, Scylla might have missed her. Just a bit.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Scylla says as she slips out of her black leather jacket and hangs it on a nearby hook. She feels the heat of Raelle’s azure gaze skimming down the length of her outfit, and Scylla’s secretly pleased she chose to wear her favorite blouse, the one that clings to her curves just right.

“The others should be here soon." Raelle averts her eyes and polishes off the last bit of beer in her glass.

Their waitress, a pretty brunette with green eyes, slides up to the table and sets down a basket of breadsticks and a couple of saucers. “Can I get you another, miss? And something for your girlfriend?” She winks at Scylla.

“Oh.” Raelle’s eyes widen. “Um, we’re not…”

“I’d love a Pinot Grigio, if you have one,” Scylla answers smoothly. The way Raelle’s mouth drops open makes the fib worth it.

“Coming right up!” The server whisks away Raelle’s empty glass and goes to get the rest of their order.

“Sometimes it’s just easier to let people assume,” Scylla says off Raelle’s questioning look.

“Fair game.” Raelle bobs her head. “Well, as your presumed girlfriend for the night, can I say how nice you look?”

“Why, thank you,” Scylla says, appreciating how Raelle’s shirt brings out the blue in her eyes. “You don’t look half bad yourself, Detective.”

“Now, none of that.” Raelle wags a finger. “We’re both off-duty. It’s Raelle or else I’m fake breaking up with you.”

“Okay,” Scylla acquiesces. “Raelle.”

The pleased smile that stretches across Raelle’s face makes Scylla’s stomach swoop.

A cell phone buzzes, and Raelle fishes it from her pocket. “Sorry.” The corners of her lips turn downward. “Tally says she can’t make it. Something came up with her boyfriend, Gerit. And…” Her frown deepens. “Looks like Abigail’s stuck picking out bridesmaid dresses with her cousin.” She glances up at Scylla. “I know what this looks like, but I swear I didn’t plan this.”

Scylla chuckles, even as her heart rate speeds up. “I didn’t say anything.”

So it’s just her and Raelle. Alone. Having dinner. As if on cue, the restaurant dims its lights for the dinner crowd, and they both nervously laugh.

“So,” Scylla says, racking her brain for something to say that can distract them from the sudden awkwardness that descends on them.

“So.”

"You guys have been busy lately.” Work is always a safe subject, Scylla thinks as she picks up a bottle of olive oil from the table and pours some on her saucer. She tears a small chunk off one of the breadsticks, dips it into the oil, and eats it. It’s soft, garlicky, and deliciously savory, and Scylla nearly moans.

Raelle tears her eyes from Scylla’s lips and helps herself to the bread, too. "Yeah, we’ve been trying to chase down the leads from Tally’s research. Think we're making headway in the case."

"That's terrific."

“After that robbery, I think Quartermaine will have my ass if we don’t solve the case soon.” Raelle takes a big bite out of a bread stick.

“Probably.” Scylla nods. “Anacostia is nothing if not results-driven. Demanding, but fair.” She takes a deep breath, willing to take a chance with Raelle. “It’s what makes her a great mom.”

Raelle practically chokes, coughing so hard that Scylla wonders if she should start performing the Heimlich maneuver. But the server rushes over to give her a glass of water. “Mom?” She asks after she gulps some water down. “Quartermaine doesn’t have kids.”

Scylla bites her lip. “She was my court-appointed guardian, after my parents died in a car accident.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Scylla shakes her head. “She kept me out of a lot of trouble back then. Reminded me to hold on to the good in life, and set me down the right path. And when the guardianship ended, she still watched over me, even when she didn’t have to.”

“That’s um…” Raelle frowns, a mixture of shock and a bit of trepidation flashing across her face, cogs cranking at the realization of what she’s done with the woman who’s like a daughter to her superior officer. “That’s… wow.”

The server returns with their drinks, and Raelle chugs down nearly half her beer. Scylla can’t help but laugh.

“I’m glad this is so amusing for you.” Raelle swipes at her mouth with a cloth napkin. “Got any other bombs you’d like to drop on me?”

“Maybe.” Scylla grins mischievously. “The night’s still young.”

***

Maybe it’s the buzz from the wine, or the comfort of good food and even better company, but Scylla can’t say no to Raelle when she suggests they take a walk together. It’s the perfect fall evening, with just the right amount of nip in the air. They take their time wandering until they reach the waterfront, where ambient light from old street lamps and restaurants glint off the dark waves of the harbor.

“So, you’re from Salem?” Raelle asks as they stroll side-by-side, close enough that their shoulders brush on occasion.

“Born and raised,” Scylla confirms. “After my parents passed, I decided to go to Johns Hopkins and never looked back. Apart from Anacostia, there were just too many painful memories here.”

“I get that.” Raelle hooks her thumbs in her pockets. “It’s part of the reason I left Cherokee after my mom died.”

Scylla’s chest aches in sympathy. “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Not at all.” Raelle takes a deep breath. “She was in the military. A combat medic. Served two tours only to be taken out because she tried to help a convenience store clerk being robbed at gunpoint. Rotten luck, huh?”

Without thinking, Scylla takes Raelle’s hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “She was very brave.”

“Yeah.” Raelle smiles sadly.

“You take after her,” Scylla doesn’t let go of Raelle’s hand, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

Raelle shrugs. “I try my best.” Her thumb brushes the back of Scylla’s hand, and that light touch is enough to spark a shiver down Scylla’s spine. They turn down one of the older piers. The wooden planks creak beneath their feet. They let each other go when they can’t walk any farther. It’s darker further out on the water, but Raelle’s blonde hair seems to glow in the moonlight.

“Scylla?” Raelle asks.

“Hm?”

“Are we… ever going to talk about it?” Raelle’s voice is quiet, unsure, so unlike her usual cocksure bravado.

Of course, Scylla knows exactly what Raelle’s talking about. It’s been hanging over them for months now, unacknowledged and unsaid. She supposes this conversation is inevitable, no matter how badly she’d rather avoid it.

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” Scylla says. “That night, I was trying to, I don’t know, live a little. In the spur of the moment. It’s not something I’m used to doing.”

“Me neither.” Off Scylla’s incredulous look, Raelle adds, “Look, I know there are lots of rumors about me. But they’re not true.”

“So you don’t have all-nighters?” Scylla tries not to sound jealous.

Raelle laughs softly. “That’s not what you think it means.”

“Then enlighten me.” Scylla crosses her arms.

“Sometimes the other detectives need someone to cover a stake out for them. And I volunteer in exchange for little favors.”

“What kind of favors?”

“Oh,” Raelle half shrugs. “Like, finding out someone’s favorite coffee order, for example.”

That’s the last thing she expects Raelle to say and, embarrassed, Scylla scuffs her shoe against the pier. “I see.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you again.” Raelle takes a step closer. “And then you show up at a crime scene, no less. And I thought, maybe it’s fate.”

“I don’t believe in fate,” Scylla says, weakly.

“I didn’t either,” Raelle admits. “Until I met you.”

Scylla’s heart throbs against her ribs. “Raelle…”

“Look, I know you don’t date co-workers. And I respect that, but I just want you to know that night wasn’t just some notch in my belt for me. It was special. You’re special. And I…”

Scylla surges forward and captures the rest of Raelle’s words with her lips. A beat passes and Raelle places her hands on Scylla’s hips to pull her closer. The kiss deepens and it’s as dizzying as Scylla remembers, like the ground has fallen out from beneath them and they’re free-floating in zero gravity. She clutches at Raelle’s shoulders, the flannel soft beneath her fingertips. When Raelle’s tongue traces her bottom lip, Scylla gasps from the frisson of electricity that jolts through her. It’s too much. Too intense. And she has to take a step back and out of Raelle’s arms.

“Sorry,” Raelle murmurs, eyes glazed but concerned .

Scylla shakes her head.”No, I’m sorry.” It’s hard to catch her breath, and she already misses Raelle’s warmth. “I think about that night. Of course, I do. And I panicked that morning and left. I didn’t expect to see you again, either, or that you’d be… you.” She licks her still-tingling lips. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m not very good at letting people in. But you? You make me want to try.”

Raelle reaches out and cups Scylla’s face with one hand. “There’s no rush.” Her thumb caresses her cheek, and Scylla leans into her palm, eyes closing. “Take as much time as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

***

Raelle drives Scylla home to her apartment building, and it takes all of Scylla’s willpower to stop herself from pulling Raelle inside right then and there, caution be damned. But Raelle’s a true southern gentlewoman and leans over to give Scylla a goodnight peck on the cheek, making sure she’s safely inside before heading home.

***

Tally calls her the next morning, awfully curious to know how dinner went. Scylla can practically feel Tally’s glee over the line.

“I told you, Tally, it was fine,” Scylla says as she presses the phone to her ear. “Just a quiet dinner between colleagues.”

“That’s it?” Tally’s disappointment is palpable.

“That’s it.” Scylla feels bad about lying, but she wants to keep whatever she has with Raelle to herself, for now. It’s too new. Too uncertain. A sprout that needs cultivation and shelter. Her cell beeps from a text as Tally begins to talk about Gerit.

Scylla's heart stops when she reads it.

Raelle Collar: I can’t stop thinking about you.

Affection fills her chest, fuzzy and warm. She types back: I miss you, too.

***

At work, nothing really changes. On the surface, their normal routine continues and they keep things strictly professional. Raelle drops off a coffee every morning, and Scylla updates the detectives with new autopsy findings when she has them. And, in the rare moments they’re alone, they steal heated kisses that Scylla can feel all the way down to her toes.

Raelle is true to her word, and doesn’t push Scylla for any more than she’s ready to give. They can’t quite say they’re dating, when they have no time to actually go on any. But their pace suits Scylla just fine. Slow and steady.

And their colleagues are none the wiser. Except for Anacostia, who comments at their next lunch, “Something’s different about you. You’re...glowing.”

“I did use a new shampoo recently.” Scylla deflects and flips her hair. “Maybe that’s it?”

Anacostia narrows her eyes. “No, that’s not it.” She spears a piece of kale from her salad. “Collar’s been different lately, too. Calmer. More focused.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

Humming, Anacostia chews thoughtfully. “What indeed.”

***

Eventually, Abigail calls Scylla into a meeting with Tally and Raelle. They sit around a table in a small meeting room that’s been serving as the command hub for the Windpipe Killer case. Photographs of the victims are taped to multiple white boards that line the walls of the room, with various bits of evidence, timelines, and potential leads are scribbled in blue dry erase marker.

Abigail nods at Scylla when she enters, Tally waves her hand excitedly, and Raelle gives her a small secret smile that makes Scylla’s heart skip a beat.

“How can I help you, ladies?” Scylla joins them at a conference table littered with notes, three venti-sized coffee cups, and half-eaten boxes of Chinese takeout.

“Remember when you told me your family helped settle Salem?” Tally asks, typing furiously on her laptop keyboard.

“Sure,” Scylla says.

“And did you know that one of your ancestors was accused of witchcraft?” Tally looks up, her brown eyes wide.

Scylla can’t help but laugh. “What?”

Tally swivels her computer screen toward Scylla. It shows lists of names and several family trees. “From your mother’s side, I traced your genealogy to Sarah Cloyce, who was accused but never indicted by a grand jury during the Witch Trials.”

“We’re working on a theory that the killer, whoever he or she may be, is targeting the ancestors of women and men suspected of witchcraft,” Abigail says.

“Right,” Scylla nods. “Tally mentioned that before.”

Tally snaps her fingers. “Yes, but not just any ancestors. The ones who were accused, but either escaped, were pardoned, or were never indicted.”

“All the victims fit the profile,” Abigail stands and walks toward one of the whiteboards, scrutinizing the picture of Kendall Swythe.

“Okay,” Scylla says. “So you’re saying the killer is, what, trying to finish the job?”

“Bingo,” Raelle finally speaks up. “I knew you were a sharp one, Doc.”

Scylla shakes her head. “Am I in danger of some sort?”

“No,” Raelle quickly reassures her. “Not at all. Unless you’re secretly a member of a Salem witch society. It’s the one common thread we’ve found among all the victims.” She pauses. “Are you?”

“Of course not,” Scylla frowns. “Then why are you telling me this?”

Abigail turns back around, hands held behind her back. “If the killer is among them, we don’t want to tip them off by questioning folks. We need someone to join that group and be our eyes. Someone who can prove their lineage.”

“Who isn’t from a family of well-known law enforcement officials,” Tally inclines her head toward Abigail.

“You don’t have to decide right away,” Raelle says. “But obviously I’d keep you,” she clears her throat and Abigail rolls her eyes. “We’d keep you safe until we catch this son of a bitch.”

Scylla doesn’t even hesitate. “I’ll do it.”

Raelle blinks in surprise. “Are you sure? If you need some time to think it over...”

“No.” Scylla locks eyes with Raelle. “I’m in.”

#raylla #motherland fort salem #mfsweek #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #non-magic au

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pogueman · 6 years

Text

The Fitbit Versa smartwatch is small, cheap and sweet

It’s tough being a fitness-tracker maker. Nike, Jawbone, and Microsoft all abandoned the market entirely. Fitbit soldiers on, but it hasn’t been easy.

It’s not that people have stopped caring about their health. It’s that little by little, smartwatches have been eating fitness bands’ lunch. So Fitbit Inc. (FIT) figured: “Well, we better make a smartwatch then!”

The first attempt, last year’s Fitbit Ionic, was a dud. It was huge. It looked like you were wearing a car door on your wrist. And it cost $300, almost as much as an Apple Watch did at the time.

Well, good news all around: Fitbit has brought forth a second smartwatch. It’s called the Versa, and it takes a sledgehammer to everything that was wrong with the Ionic.

The Fitbit Versa falls exactly halfway between fitness wristbands and full-blown wrist computers like the Apple Watch.

Size and shape

The Versa costs $200 instead of $300. Nicely done, Fitbit. (The Apple Watch 3 starts at $330 and goes up to $750.)

And instead of being big, homely, angular and wrapping halfway around your wrist, the Versa is small, sweet and unbelievably light, even though it’s made of metal (aluminum).

The 1.34-inch screen is square; the body is rounded.

The Versa is smaller and thinner than the Apple Watch. It’s slightly wider, but that’s fine — it makes much more sense to expand along the direction that your arm goes, rather than trying to be a flat object on your curved wrist.

The Versa (left) is slightly wider, but shorter, than the 42mm Apple Watch.

Small is huge. Small means less obtrusive. Small means better suited for many women.

And small means stylish. You can get the Versa in black, silver, or peach aluminum; a “special edition” costs $30 more and comes in dark gray or rose gold. All of them look great, and you can make them look even greater by replacing the included silicone band with a leather, cloth, metal- mesh, or metal-links band.

Here’s a sampling of some of the silicone, leather, cloth, and metal bands available.

You can swap bands without tools, although it takes practice. Even after 20 minutes, I never could get the leather band to go on.

Swapping bands involves fiddling with the spring-loaded release lever.

And here’s the truly great part: Fitibt says it goes “four-plus days” on a charge, but it always under advertises battery life. My review unit is happily ticking away on Day Six. Take that, Apple Watch, which you have to charge every single night (and therefore can’t use to track your sleep)!

You charge the Versa by snapping it into a new, spring-loaded stand.

You do, however, sacrifice something for the cheaper price and smaller size: built-in GPS. The Ionic has it, the Versa doesn’t. If you want to map your runs or rides, you have to take your phone with you; the Versa’s software grabs its GPS information from the phone itself.

On the U.S. base model, you also lose Fitbit Pay, which lets you pay for things with your wrist at wireless terminals. Alas, the list of recognizable participating banks are still limited — American Express, Bank of America, Capital One, Wells Fargo, and U.S. Bank. Chase is coming soon. If your credit card comes from one of those banks, and you care about this feature, it’s available for an additional $30 on the Special Edition.

The Fitbit Versa (right) lacks the Apple Watch’s weird bulge on the bottom.

The features

The Versa’s features are mostly identical to the Ionic watch’s, although the new operating system (coming to the Ionic later this year) greatly simplifies navigation.

The Versa has water resistance down to 50 meters, swim tracking and lap counting, 2.5 gigabytes for storing music to play (over wireless earbuds), and auto-recognition of 20 different exercises. It offers guided breathing sessions when you need to relax, and optional hourly reminders to get up and move around.

When it comes to tracking your health, the Versa is a champ. It tallies your steps, calories, and distance; flights of stairs you’ve taken; minutes of exertion; continuous heart rate; and your stages of sleep, which is remarkably accurate and informative.

The touchscreen is square and colorful and very bright.

Underneath, the heart-rate sensor has a third LED light, capable of detecting how much blood oxygen you’ve got (your relative SPO2). Someday, that statistic could provide early detection for conditions like atrial fibrillation or sleep apnea, which would be a huge deal for millions of people.

(Personal sob story: My favorite Fitbit is the incredibly slim, small Fitbit Alta. It does a great job of tracking my stats, including heart rate, during the day and night. But when a foot injury drove me to switch from jogging to stationary biking, I discovered, like many others, that the Alta wouldn’t record my heart rate during exercise! It either dramatically under-reported my pulse rate, or didn’t pick up a pulse at all.

Online, many people with that problem solved it by switching to the fatter Fitbit Charge 2 band. For me, that band did much better — but still sometimes underreported compared to a Polar chest strap. I’m happy to report that the Versa’s heart-rate monitor is dead on during exercise —within a beat or two of the chest-strap’s measurement. Every time.)

You can pay $40 a year to use Fitbit Coach: guided video workouts that play on the Fitbit website or on your smartphone. (They don’t play on the watch itself, although audio-only guidance is available.) There’s a huge variety of duration and intensity, no equipment is required, and Fitbit says that the workouts adjust their intensity based on your own feedback.

Versa the smartwatch

Is the Versa, in fact, a smartwatch at all? I guess it depends on how you define that term. Smartwatches from companies like Apple and Samsung usually offer features like these:

Choice of watch faces. Maybe you like digital, or analog, or elegant, or complicated. The Versa’s app store now offers dozens of faces. Unfortunately, you have to choose them from the phone app (not on the watch) — and making a new selection involves a very slow Bluetooth transfer.

Plenty of watch faces await.

Notifications. Smartwatches can notify you on your wrist whenever one of your phone apps is trying to get your attention (you choose which apps). That’s especially useful when incoming calls and texts arrive. On the Versa, you can’t freely reply or take a call, as you can on the Apple Watch. In May, you’ll be able to respond with canned shortcut responses, but only on Android phones (not iPhones).

Music. You can load about 300 songs onto the Ionic, for playback through Bluetooth wireless earbuds when you’re working out. But you must load them from your computer using a crude Mac or Windows app called Fitbit Connect; it shows only playlists, not songs or albums. There are also Pandora and Deezer apps, but they require a paid subscription. There’s no Spotify.

Voice assistants. On real smartwatches, you can speak to Siri or the Google Assistant, and hear spoken replies. The Ionic has no speaker or microphone, so it can’t do any of that.

An app store. Fitbit’s smartwatch app store has finally begun to pick up steam. There are now about 500 apps available to install on your Versa, including Starbucks, Strava, New York Times, Weather, and so on. They’re all fairly slow and very simple.

Still to come

Fitbit is working hard to make the Versa attractive to women. Starting in May, you’ll be able to record every detail of your menstrual cycle in the Fitbit app — intensity, symptoms, and, of course, dates. Thereafter, it will display a calendar depicting your predicted period week in pink, and fertility window in blue.

Plenty of phone apps do exactly this, but having it part of the Fitbit app makes a lot of sense, because it’s tied in to all your other health stats. Eventually, the company plans to incorporate this other data (heart rate, for example) into its calculations, for even better accuracy.

A semi-smartwatch

To be clear, the Versa is not a smartwatch in the Apple Watch or Samsung Gear sense. It’s not a premium piece of jewelry that runs incredibly fast, runs thousands of apps, has a voice assistant, lets you respond to calls and texts, offers magnetic charging, have its own cellular connection, and so on.

But the Versa’s specs — five-day battery life, a $200 price tag, and small, sweet looks — define a worthy category unto itself. You’ll really like this thing.

David Pogue, tech columnist for Yahoo Finance, welcomes non-toxic comments in the Comments below. On the Web, he’s davidpogue.com. On Twitter, he’s @pogue. On email, he’s [email protected]. You can sign up to get his stuff by email, here.

Exclusive: What Fitbit’s 6 billion nights of sleep data reveals about us Google Clips uses AI to snap pictures of your kids and pets — sort of Why I bought Honda’s plug-in hybrid mystery car Look up! A dozen ‘air taxi’ flying cars are readying for takeoff

#smartwatch #tech #Pogue #_lmsid:a077000000BAh3wAAD #_revsp:yahoofinance.com #$AAPL #_uuid:a82cc47d-a86f-315a-a849-b66b7b470af8 #$FIT #Fitbit #_author:David Pogue

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ncmagroup · 4 years

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One of the most important elements of successful sales engagement is persistence— how many times you go back to a prospect or lead and connect with him or her. To persist means “to continue steadfastly or firmly in some purpose or course of action.” That’s a fairly accurate depiction of the type of consistent follow-up and determination that yields concrete results for sales professionals.

According to a LinkedIn post by business success expert Angela Smith, 48% of leads never get followed up on by sales representatives, and 25% of the sales professionals stop after the second contact. Another 12% ceased attempts after three contacts. In fact, just 10% of sales professionals persist after three contacts with the prospect.

Maybe that doesn’t sound so bad— after all, they tried a few times, right? But the data shows that two or three attempts just aren’t good enough, because 80% of sales are made after 5-12 contacts (Elkington & Oldroyd, 2016; Haliva, 2015). This research is backed up by the Telfer Study, an extensive report recently conducted by the Telfer School of Management on behalf of VanillaSoft.

Five to twelve contacts— that’s a startlingly large number of touches in order to achieve sales success. The trick, of course, is being persistent without being irritating to your potential client.

So why don’t sales professionals make more attempts if it’s so important?

What’s preventing them? What’re the consequences of not making the requisite number of contacts?

Types of Engagement

In the modern era, there are a number of useful ways to engage with a prospect. By using a mixture of these methods, you can figure out which one the client prefers— i.e., which one will be least annoying and most effective.

The types of engagement that seem to work best for modern prospective buyers include phone calls, texts, emails, and instant messages, plus the tried-and-true direct mail piece. According to sales strategists, you’ll see more than double the success rate when you use two communication methods instead of just one with your prospects. An increase of an extra 3-5% occurs when you add in a third communication method.

Speed-to-Lead

Another way you can be persistent without damaging the client connection is by helping your sales development representatives become faster and more reliable in their follow-up times. How soon do they get in touch with a prospect after the trigger event? That’s the speed-to-lead, the time that it takes for your team to make the first contact with a new prospect.

The Telfer study shows that the ideal time window for contacting a web lead is between 10 and 60 minutes after they reach out to you. In fact, calling within the first 30 minutes is nearly three times more likely to end in a successful outcome than calling as soon as the lead arrives or waiting more than 24 hours. Unfortunately, an AA-ISP Lead Study found that the average time it takes for sales reps to contact a new lead is 38 hours, and that means you’re leaving a lot of money on the table. Don’t let a hot lead grow cold!

Sales Cadence

Beyond engagement methods and speed-to-lead, you enter the more complex area of sales cadence— the rhythm your team uses when contacting a potential customer. How much time elapses before the next followup attempt? What’s the gap between second and third outreach, and so on? The type of messaging, the mode of communication, and the spacing between contact attempts is all crucial to landing that sale.

We’re going to review all of that and show you how patience, persistence, and proactive engagement can revamp your selling strategy and lead to a notable leap in your sales successes. Of course, this rewiring of your current strategy might involve altering your pipeline a bit. You may need to think about new sales engagement software that can quickly route the incoming leads to your reps so you can get in that first contact within the recommended speed-to-lead window.

These are significant changes, and change can be uncomfortable. But with these adjustments comes a dramatic increase in productivity, which leads to a boost in sales— and those extra profits are good for everyone at your company.

Change can be uncomfortable – Patience, Persistence, and Proactive engagement can dramatically increase productivity, which leads to a boost in sales.

In Sales, One Touch Is Rarely Enough

Right now, you may be thinking about your star salespeople— about how quick they are to reach the prospects and how many calls they make per day. They’re probably working very hard to squeeze in a high volume of calls; but unfortunately, the number of calls per day or hour has no direct impact on win outcomes. The volume of calls alone isn’t what makes sales happen— it’s the persistence, with the right sales cadence, that leads to a win.

Instead of your reps spinning their wheels, trying desperately to reach goals without seeing many genuine conversions, they may need to refocus on quality, not quantity. Longer calls — which implies a quality conversation is taking place — are linked to an increase in success rates; for example, the Telfer Study shows that “for every increase in a minute in call duration, there is 6 times better odds of success with the lead.”

For every minute increase in call duration, there are 6 times better odds of success with the lead.

The numbers make sense— if a lead is letting you explain your company’s products or services in more detail, you have a better chance to present all the selling points and convince the prospect to make a purchase. You’re having a quality conversation, and the potential client is finding it interesting and enjoyable. This type of call is not about quantity; you wouldn’t want to hurry to end the call just so you can reach a “call quota” for the hour. Instead, you would spend those extra minutes in the hopes of seeing a successful conversion from lead to customer. According to Nusair Bawla, writing for Business News Daily, the goal of these longer calls and persistent touches over time is the building of a new relationship. “In building a relationship, you’ll develop a much better understanding of the client’s needs and wants,” Bawla explains. “You’ll get to understand their underlying problems, not just the superficial ones that appear obvious. And once the client knows that you understand them, they are yours.”

Sales Requires Patience

Crafting this kind of trust between a sales rep and a prospect doesn’t happen right away; it takes time. That can be frustrating for a busy sales team, especially for the leadership. As a manager or leader in your sales department, you’re under pressure to show results, and you know that there are only so many minutes in a day.

It’s tougher than ever to reach prospects on the phones; as many people won’t answer if they don’t recognize the number. It’s hard to get responses to emails; so many people have overflowing inboxes, and they just ignore the touches from your sales reps. The customer is in control in the modern era. He decides when, where, how, or if to make contact with salespeople. And that reality can be incredibly frustrating.

That’s why it’s so essential to develop patience, for yourself and among the sales professionals on your team. Even though the clock is ticking, even though other leads are on the way, take time to listen to the prospects. Give them time to express their needs and space to tell you what they’re looking for and why they came to you. It’s okay to be silent on the call sometimes, giving them room to think and to answer your questions fully.

Patience in Selling Checklist

To facilitate this transition from a hectic sales atmosphere to a more patient one, you can implement some strategies and tips for improving patience across the spectrum of your sales tasks.

First of all, plan your day. How much time will you spend making calls? How much time will you devote to other types of sales engagement? Who’s on your list for a fourth or fifth touch today? What strategies will you follow to extend those sales calls for a few extra minutes? Thinking ahead and having a plan can help you settle into the moment and find patience. Just remember to keep your plan realistic and stay flexible within those goals.

Use the mute button. If you’re having trouble staying quiet while your prospect is talking, mute yourself. If you know the other person can’t hear you, you’ll be more likely to refrain from jumping in with thoughts and suggestions. Instead, you can train yourself to really listen and to wait. Just don’t forget to un-mute yourself once it’s time for you to speak.

Identify your impatience triggers. What makes you fret and chafe and want to just move on with the conversation or the next task? What type of prospect questions or attitudes frustrate you? When you know your triggers, you can recognize them and develop a way to cope with them, calming yourself and refocusing on the end goal.

Get rid of distractions. What pulls your attention out of the call, off the email you were writing, or away from the instant message you were composing? A distraction might be a coworker’s question, your personal phone, clutter on your desk, or a new lead popping up on your screen. Those things remind you that there are other demands on your time, and they can make you feel stressed and impatient. Unfortunately, you might communicate that stress to the prospect without even meaning to do so. Eliminate distractions if you can— for example, silence your personal phone and turn off pop-up notifications on your computer. If you can’t avoid the distractions, try to focus on completing your current task before you deal with the issue.

Keep your eye on the prize. Quantity isn’t everything, as we’ve seen; but you probably have a quota, and it’s an important goal to reach. You want to build relationships with your prospects, but you have to be able to let them go for the moment, too. If you still can’t get that one prospect on the phone, it’s okay— move on to the next potential client.

Sales Requires Persistence

Let’s dig a little deeper into the concept of persistence in sales. As we’ve seen, about 10% of sales are closed after 4 follow-up contacts, while 80% are successfully completed after 5-12 contacts. The fresh data from the recent Telfer Study reveals that “the average number of contact attempts needed for a positive outcome with a lead is 5.7 for B2B companies and 5.9 for B2C companies.”

The Telfer Study also shows that for some companies, it’s important to make additional contact attempts beyond that 5-12. If you’re in a service-oriented industry or in the wholesale business, you’ll need to touch that prospect a few more times than your counterparts in other industries do, simply because of the nature of your offering and the nature of the modern customer.

Ideally, your team should use a front-loaded sales cadence, which starts with a high speed-to-lead, packs a higher number of touches into the first week, and then tapers off for upwards of a week before repeating, allowing the prospect time to think while still staying present and visible.

The Persistent Sales Cadence Checklist

Developing a front-loaded sales cadence that is perfect for your business and your industry will take time and a bit of trial and error. Here are some tips to help you get started.

Aim to reach hot leads within the first hour. As previously mentioned, the ideal window for your first touch with a prospect is 10-60 minutes after the first contact. Get to them too quickly, and they may be scared off; reach out too late, and they may have moved on.

Follow up quickly. The Telfer Study reveals that “The majority of leads won have an average of 3 to 4 contact attempts made within the first 4 to 5 days of a lead being in the sales cycle.” Make the most of those engagement attempts during the 4-5 days following first contact, possibly setting the goal of contacting your prospect once per day. During this phase, don’t let more than two days elapse before making another touch.

Vary your engagement methods. Within the 4-5-day window after your first touch, you could email, text, or call again. According to post by contributor Colleen Francis for the Huffington Post, “Everyone has their own preferred way to communicate. Your job is to find out which communication tool is easier for the prospect.” Your chances of getting a response improve when you experiment with different types of contact. For inbound cadences, try a proven successful combination such as “call, voicemail, email,” repeated until you’ve made 6-10 touches.

Lower the intensity. After the first week, slow down the rate of your contact attempts, spacing them more widely over the next week. Just a couple of touches are appropriate for the next five days, so you can leave two days between contacts.

When you call, always leave a voicemail. Make sure it’s personal and direct, expressing what you want from the client, whether that’s a further discussion of their needs or a desire to communicate information they previously asked for. Keep it between 18-30 seconds long, or you’ll lose their attention; remember to include your number if you’re calling their office phone instead of a smartphone.

Time your emails strategically. Contacting prospects via email can be tricky. If you want to give your email the best possible chance of being opened, do some research to find out when your particular client would be most likely to view the email and respond. Hint: According to Entrepreneur.com, it’s different for B2B prospects vs. B2C prospects. Remember to keep emails short and to use simple, clear language on about a third-grade reading level.

Bawla adds some encouragement for sales personnel: “As a general rule, the more difficult a client is to get, the harder they are to lose, because stealing these kinds of clients requires persistence and discipline. … The key to converting your pipeline into actual sales is the ability to hang in there when others have given up.”

Sales Flourish with Proactive Engagement

As we’ve seen, the volume of your teams’ calls doesn’t directly increase sales success; it’s more about the number of contacts with the prospect and the quality of those touches. Quality goes deeper than simply talking longer during a call; it also has meaning for engagement methods like voicemails, emails, and messages.

The Personal Touch

Do your reps use templates? Templates are an excellent time-saving tool— unless they are misused. If a rep fails to personalize the template or sends the same one again to the same prospect, the rep is sabotaging his or her own efforts to close that sale.

In the same way, leaving the same voicemail over and over is counterproductive. In order to make contact effective, your reps need to bring something new to the table every time, whether it’s a fresh selling point, a special deal, or an extra bit of information to create interest.

The Value of Sales Experience

Training is crucial here. The Telfer research unveiled an important link between a sales rep’s level of experience and his or her chances of closing sales successfully. The greater the experience, the higher the likelihood of success.

Your newer, younger hires won’t have the same experience as the veterans in your department; but you can help them get there with training. In fact, your veteran salespeople could probably use a refresher course as well, especially if you’re implementing new sales engagement software and altering your sales cadence.

Offer plenty of hands-on training, as well as practice runs and role-playing sessions. As your team learns to implement new strategies and try fresh approaches, they will gain the confidence they need to move forward and close sales.

Offer plenty of hands-on training, as well as practice runs and role-playing sessions to help your SDRs be successful.

The Proactive Sales Engagement Checklist

Experienced engagement involves several skills. With the right program, you can build these vital skill sets in your sales reps. Think of this effort as an investment in future sales success, with a guaranteed ROI.

SalesReps need to know when to be quiet 🤐, how to absorb what the prospect is telling them, and how to use that fresh knowledge to inform the rest of their SalesPitch.

Teach listening skills. Your reps need to know when to be quiet, how to absorb what the prospect is telling them, and how to use that fresh knowledge to inform the rest of their sales pitch. In addition, the listening skills you teach your sales reps should help them to better adapt, during the call, the rest of their pitch approach. For example, some people hate being asked open-ended questions, and so your reps should be trained on how to identify those prospects and steer the conversation appropriately.

Train them to ask the right questions. These questions will be different depending on whether you’re a B2B or B2C company, but they should target the core needs of the consumer or business. Tony Alessandra, writing for Hubspot, shares some excellent ideas. He recommends avoiding questions with “yes” or “no” answers, and instead suggests open-ended questions like, “How is your current solution working for you?” or “Could you tell me more about your business?” or “Some of our clients have these specific challenges. Do you find you’re facing similar difficulties?”

Encourage reps to briefly research a prospect before making the call. It’s helpful to know something about a prospective client’s background, location, age, and other demographics before calling. This way, your rep can craft a more customized sales strategy and begin the call on a more personal, conversational note. Social selling, or warming up the lead, often leads to longer conversations and more positive contacts in the future.

Build a thorough knowledge of the company’s products or services. Every person in your sales department should know each product or service inside out, preferably through first-hand experience rather than words on a sales sheet.

Talk about what the company’s rivals offer and how to counter it. Your reps will probably encounter customers who have been shopping around. They know what your competitors are offering and how much it costs; it’s important for your reps to have that information as well. Your sales professionals should know exactly how to flip that conversation around, indicating the rival product’s weak points subtly while highlighting the advantages of your company’s products.

What Impacts Persistence, Beyond the Rep

Give your sales reps fresh strategies and training, and you’ll see them improve their success rates as they gain experience, but those elements can only take your team so far. In the digital age, it’s vital to have sales engagement software that supports and facilitates what you’re trying to accomplish with your team.

Customer relationship management (CRM) software that takes a list-based approach doesn’t really support this type of strategic sales plan. A list-based system steals precious time from your reps and doesn’t facilitate the type of rhythmic, repeated follow-up your reps need to do. CRM software and marketing automation systems too often fail to efficiently prioritize leads, or they don’t work smoothly together. Understandably, this can cause stress, distraction, and wasted time for your team.

Instead of list-based systems, consider queue-based sales engagement software that quickly and smoothly doles out the hot leads, automates sales cadence, and streamlines the follow-up process for your reps.

To further simplify the reps’ roles, create one team whose sole job is qualifying leads using a sales engagement platform like VanillaSoft, and form another team that manages the much smaller list of sales opportunities from those qualified leads that have been identified using a CRM platform.

Said another way:

Marketing automation tools generate marketing qualified leads (MQLs)

Sales engagement platforms qualify those MQLs and turn them into sales qualified leads (SQLs)

CRM works those SQLs and turns them into sales wins or losses

If you follow this technology stack, and division of goals, you’ll have better lead prioritization, optimized teams, and more clearly defined processes. Plus, with sales engagement software from VanillaSoft, you’ll have access to performance dashboards so you can quickly see which reps need ongoing training in specific areas.

Close More Deals with the Three P’s

Persistence, patience, and proactive engagement— they’re all essential to success for your sales team. With buyers setting the timetable and holding all the cards, patience is more important than ever. But you don’t have to twiddle your thumbs— you can be working hard behind the scenes, implementing a carefully refined sales cadence, training your reps to be proactive and engaging, and sourcing the best technology to help you accomplish your goals.

Choose sales engagement software like VanillaSoft, which can automate your desired sales cadence, route leads to your reps more effectively, and record calls so you can use them for training and coaching. It’s not a temporary shortcut to superficial success; it’s a solid bridge from where you are to where you want to be.

Go to our website: www.ncmalliance.com

PERSISTENCY: MODERN SELLING REQUIRES PATIENCE, PERSISTENCE, AND PROACTIVE ENGAGEMENT One of the most important elements of successful sales engagement is persistence— how many times you go back to a prospect or lead and connect with him or her.

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ethanalter · 7 years

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Throwback Thors-day: How Eric Allan Kramer became the first live-action Thor

The Incredible Hulk (Lou Ferrigno) meets the Mighty Thor (Eric Allan Kramer) for the first time in live-action form in The Incredible Hulk Returns (Photo: Everett Collection)

As the mightiest members of the super-team uniting Earth’s mightiest heroes, Avengers Thor and the Incredible Hulk have long had a love-hate relationship. As in: they love fighting each other to prove their strength, and hate being the one to lose. Marvel Studios’ latest blockbuster, Thor: Ragnarok, gives the Asgardian warrior (Chris Hemsworth) and the mean, green smashing machine (Mark Ruffalo) by way of performance capture) one more chance to punch each other into oblivion with a centerpiece sequence set in an alien gladiatorial arena. We won’t spoil who wins, but suffice it to say it’s not an entirely clean victory, which means only one thing: Rematch!

Two decades before this current clash of champions, Hulk and Thor tangled on television in the 1988 TV movie, The Incredible Hulk Returns, the first of three sequels to the popular series starring Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno as scientist David Banner and his growling alter ego, respectively. Picking up two years after the events of the show, the plot brings Banner into contact with former student Donald Blake (Steve Levitt) who regales him with a whopper of a story: while on a fact-finding mission to Norway, the diminutive Blake came across an ancient hammer that awakened the Norse legend, the Mighty Thor, played by Eric Allan Kramer in his first big role. And Thor is none too happy about being stranded on Earth with only a nerdy researcher for company. In their first encounter, the Thunder God’s fury rouses the Hulk-ish side of Banner’s personality, leading to an epic wrestling match.

Thor vs. Hulk in Thor: Ragnarok (Photo: Marvel Studios)

In classic Marvel fashion, this fight eventually turns into a team-up, with Hulk and Thor uniting their powers to take down a crime syndicate. And as Kramer reveals to Yahoo Entertainment, that inaugural adventure was supposed to lead to more derring-do for Thor. “The Incredible Hulk Returns was really a backdoor pilot for a Thor series,” the now-55-year-old actor says, adding that it would have been more of an Odd Couple scenario than The Incredible Hulk, with his Thor and Levitt’s Blake working together to outsmart and outfight criminals. But those plans were scuttled in the wake of the famously lengthy 1988 Writers Guild of America strike that took a heavy toll on existing shows, as well as those still in the works. “Any chances for a series were shattered [by the strike],” Kramer remembers. “Obviously, you’re disappointed when it doesn’t go, but you come to learn fairly quickly that’s the business.”

It didn’t take Kramer long to find gainful employment outside of Marvel anyway. A working character actor for three decades now, he’s since graced such TV shows as Down Home, Good Luck Charlie and AMC’s upcoming series, Lodge 49, as well as feature films like Robin Hood: Men in Tights and American Wedding. (Contrary to IMDb rumors, though, he’s never made a return visit to Asgard. For a while, his filmography included a cameo in 2011’s Thor that Kramer confirms never happened. “I think the only people that didn’t realize I could have had a cameo in that movie were my agents,” he jokes.) This Thor-sday, we reminisced with Kramer about being the first live-action Thor (not counting Vincent D’Onofrio) and facing off against the muscled mountain that was Lou Ferrigno.

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Yahoo Entertainment: How did the role of Thor come your way? Eric Allan Kramer: It was literally one of the first things I auditioned for when I first came to Los Angeles. I think it was as much as a surprise to my agent as it was to me when it all came around. I was completely green to the whole process of auditioning and castings so it was a great learning experience, on top of being very exciting. I was big into comic books growing up, and I was a huge Spider-Man fan. So I was well versed in that whole universe.

Since you were familiar with Thor from the comics, you clearly knew that the version of the character we see in The Incredible Hulk Returns looks substantially different. How did you feel about that as a comic book fan? I liked the idea of making the character a little more gritty, and a little more where he would actually be from. I also liked that the armor was pretty much real; there wasn’t anything plastic about it. Unfortunately for my stunt double, it led to a few stitches; he kept catching his chin on the chest plate. The helmet was also as heavy as anything. The big joke was that it kept sliding down the front of my head. In the running scenes, I was always fighting to keep that helmet up.

Was it heavier than the hammer you had to carry? I would say they were pretty close! The whole outfit was metal and leather; it was a serious costume.

Did you miss having a cape? I think a cape would have only added to my somewhat uncoordinated tendencies. As it was it, it was hard enough to move around in that thing; adding a cape would have been one obstacle too many.

Is that your real hair we see on camera or did you have a wig? My hair was actually fairly long at that time, and I was blond, but it was just too thin, so that was all wigs. And the wig actually made me realize that my hairline was receding! I went in to get it made, and the hairstylist made this skull cap as the base for the wig. A couple of producers were there, and she asked them, “Where do you want his hairline? Where it is now or where it used to be?” Then she said to me, “Would you like to see where your hairline used to be?” She took a red marker, had me scrunch my head up, and drew a line that I swear was about an inch below where my hairline was! You live with yourself every day, but that was the first real sign that things were changing on top of my head.

Kramer in a 2015 episode of Good Luck Charlie (Photo: Ron Tom/Disney Channel/Courtesy: Everett Collection)

Speaking to the gritty depiction of the character, your Thor doesn’t talk in the kind of flowerly Asgardian language present in the comics. I think that Nick [Corea, the screenwriter] wrote a character that loved life, and wanted to taste everything life had to offer after being locked away for so long. That was pretty much where the character was coming from. The idea was to make him accessible and trying to find that line of being from somewhere very magical and landing in the real world.

Unlike Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno, who were rarely in the same frame together, you frequently interacted with Thor’s alter ego, Donald Blake, played by Steve Levitt. What discussions did you have about dramatizing that relationship? They’re weirdly connected in the fact that they’re tied at the hip. Each character got to share something from the other character, and learn and grow and do all of that. Because everything came together so quickly, a lot of the play between Steve and I happened on set. We would certainly get together to talk things out and toss ideas back and forth. In fact, I remember when I tested with him; I’d already been cast and they were casting his role. Steve came in and went off-script, just throwing things at me that I threw back at him. It just worked.

Who did you film your first scenes with: the Hulk or David Banner? The first stuff we shot was in the lab, so it was pretty much everyone — Bill Bixby, Lou Ferrigno, and the whole crew. They were both great; Bill was exactly who you thought and wanted him to be — just one of the nicest, gracious, most giving people I’ve ever met on set. Lou was terrific. I believe he said that he was the biggest he’d ever been when he came back for that movie. He was just a mountain!

Did you feel any pressure to be as big as Ferrigno? I was in shape, but not certainly in shape by today’s standards, you know what I mean? This was 1988, and the superhero build had not come in yet. The minute you get a role like this where you know your shirt is going to be off, the first thing you do is get in the gym and try to cram years of body neglect into a couple of weeks, hitting it hard every day. One day, we were doing publicity stills for the movie and Lou walks in, looking phenomenal. He caught me drinking a Gatorade and gave me crap for it, because of all the salt that’s in it. So we’re standing together, and I was feeling okay about how I looked. Then Lou goes, “So… do you work out?” [Laughs] Like I had done nothing! I laughed and said, “I’m trying, Lou. I’m trying.”

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Let’s talk about the Thor vs. Hulk fight scene. How was that choreographed? And did Ferrigno break character between takes or did he only grunt at you throughout shooting? [Laughs] He was on and off. Every once in awhile, he’d crack a joke about something. Those were some long days in armor being thrown around the set. Back in the days before CGI was common, we’d use the trick of blurring in and out of scenes. But we were going at it like a regular stage fight; it was all the real deal. The guy doubling Lou had to jump off the building. I forget how many stories up he was, but he had a huge fall down to the mat. The guy doubling me was hanging from helicopters and being thrown through windows and all the rest of it. He took some punishment. I was there for all the big moves, but I was taken out of the stuff that would have halted production if I had gotten hurt.

Did you also chug that whole glass of beer on camera when Thor and Donald go to the biker bar? I remember I drank a lot! I didn’t drink the whole thing, but I drank most of it. It was all near-beer, like O’Doul’s, which I’ve actually sort of grown to love over the years. That whole scene was just a blast to shoot. In fact, I used it on my demo reel for a good couple of years afterwards.

The other great beer-related gag is Thor stabbing cans of beer with a kitchen knife. Yeah, I think that sent waves of panic through most of the crew, who were thinking I was going to cut my fingers off. Me, too, actually. It wasn’t until you actually did it that you realize, “This was a really good idea in my head, but it that could have gone seriously wrong.” One slip, and it’s a whole different scene. We only did it the one time, because it just freaked everybody out.

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Do you like to tell people that you were the first live-action Thor? I don’t know if I like to make it known, but I’m definitely proud of it. It was my first big thing, and it’s something that a lot of people really enjoyed. I’m glad I have a very small slice of the Marvel universe that I can call my own. It’s funny how often I still get recognized for that. I think it all depends on when it reruns. And, of course, when the movies start coming around, suddenly people get a little nostalgic and they go back and take a look.

Are you a fan of Chris Hemsworth’s take on the character? Oh my God, yes! He’s fantastic. He’s got the look, the sound and he’s funny. I see all of the Marvel movies, and I’m blown away by what movies can do now. It would have been nice to maybe get some CGI abs back in the day! [Laughs]

Thor: Ragnarok features another epic Hulk vs. Thor smackdown. Why do viewers like watching these two heroes fight? And did you advocate for your Thor to win a round? They’re perfect combatants. One is so completely primal, and the other is so mythological. But I was just a guest in his house, man. You want to pummel me, I’m fine with that!

Had the Hulk appeared on the Thor series, though, you would have won that fight. Yeah, if he’s on my turf, then maybe I get to win that one. [Laughs]

The Incredible Hulk Returns is available to rent or purchase on Amazon, Google Play, iTunes and Vudu. Thor: Ragnarok opens in theaters Friday.

Watch: Director Taika Waititi talks gratuitous shirtless Chris Hemsworth in ‘Thor: Ragnarok’:

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