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#like the healing process together???

kingkatsuki · 2 years

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I’m in such an angsty mood and I’m just thinking about Dynamight falling in love with you— the girlfriend of someone he couldn’t save.

Bakugou used to receiving thanks and praise for saving people— hell, half the time people don’t even say thank you because being a Pro-Hero you’re expected to save people. It’s your job, the thing you sign up for when you decide its the career path you wish to follow. You don’t sign up to be a Pro-Hero for the gratitude, no matter how appreciated it would be. Pro-Heroes are seen as super beings, other worldly. Almost as though they could never truly die— some may say immortal.

But you could argue it was replaceable.

Once a Pro-Hero dies or gets hurt on the field there are many others to replace them, quickly filling the gaps in the hero rankings until it’s like the former never existed. The public naive to the true dangers that heroes face on a daily basis so they can return home to their loved ones and sleep soundly at night, the sacrifices they make as they give up their lives to protect others. But even superhuman people aren’t perfect, and neither are Pro-Heroes. Becoming a better hero means realising that it’s impossible to save everyone.

So what about the time Dynamight gets there too late? All the years of training can never truly prepare a Pro-Hero for when things go wrong— when you don’t manage to save someone…

The media work dangerously fast and are ripping him to shreds in minutes, definitely faster than it takes backup to arrive at the scene, and for the ambulance to confirm the fatalities. But however macabre, it’s all part of being a hero. He can take the criticism, ignore the hate online and try to convince himself that it was just a bad day- that there was nothing that he could do to change things. But when he meets you it’s different— why couldn’t he save the man you love?

It’s a few days later when Bakugou meets you for the first time, the girlfriend of the man he was too late to save. He’s back out in the field, a quiet evening patrol with Red Riot to show that the city is well protected. Walking side by side down the sidewalk when he hears the vulgar language spilling from your mouth before he sees you. A flash of movement before you’re in front of him— banging your fists on his chest while fresh tears spill down your cheeks, finally face to face with the man who isn’t your hero. Isn’t even good enough to be called a hero.

And what can Dynamight do except take it? Bakugou wants to say something but he can’t, what can he say? So all he can do is stand there and take it as you pound your smaller fists against his muscular chest, feeling every hit as Kirishima moves forward to pull you away from him, wrapping his arms around your middle as you thrash in his arms, crying louder now as your eyes meet his through wet tears.

“I’ll never forgive you, Dynamight.”

Those words hurt more than any scathing review he could ever receive as he sits and reads each tweet on your Twitter feed, criticising him for not being able to save the love of your life.

And maybe you were right? He wasn’t a hero.

#whether it’s unrequited or not idk?#or maybe you’re both just broken people who need each other #just trying to find the way to comfort you or apologise #learning more about the man that he never managed to get to in time #soft bakugou #Bakugou x reader #learning more about you #like the healing process together???#cause as a hero not being able to protect everyone must hurt too?#knowing someone died because you didn’t get there in time #even though it isn’t really your fault #and one night you just break down in his arms #and Bakugou holds you but he breaks down too #and you’re both just using each other for comfort at this point #but maybe it could be more? maybe it should be—

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wttcsms · 2 months

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horribly short summary of what im trying to accomplish here, but if you were to read a fic featuring character, a soldier honorably discharged and is officially off the battlefield and yet he can’t seem to shake off the war from clinging to his body, and he’s basically a bit of a mess and feels incapable of returning to ordinary life and there’s you, the sweetest thing in the whole world, and he keeps trying to tell you he’s no good and you’re there to help him with everything (and it kills him a bit, to see you wasting your time to help him, and it kills him because he feels like he shouldn’t be the type of person who needs help) and !! just slowburn and falling in love and just read the tags for the vibe ok, who would it be for

#i was originally thinking ghost from cod since hello there’s so much source material to work with #and the fic would suit him nicely but also idk if i have cod readers left on my blog #so any characters are fine like an aot character would also prob fit the bill for this #but ive just been thinking abt everyone who’s analyzing hozier’s snippet #with how he takes his coffee black and his whiskey neat and how this girl is too sweet FOR HIM #as in… not being deserving of something so nice #and feeling that way but also showing how in the healing process - in the process of getting better -#we start to discover that we are allowed to enjoy and indulge in nice things. that we also deserve to live a life full of sweetness #and it’s a bit serious since it will touch on ptsd; on survivors guilt #and the fic is long - spanning from getting together to him having kids w u #& how even after all this time sometimes the war is still fresh as ever on his mind #and just !!! it’s a lot #also that Taylor line that’s like ‘is it really your anxiety that keeps you from giving me everything?#‘or do you just not want to’ + ‘you wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody’

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puhpandas · 8 months

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Take Me Home 1, 2

(to see new chapters release, sub on ao3 :))

(3227 words)

When Cassie wakes for the second time, it's not with a pounding head and limbs as heavy as iron. No. This time, her awareness of the world rolls in smoothly, and all she feels when she wakes fully is faint buzzing throughout her body.

She revels in it; the fact that theres no pain. She doesn't think too hard about why, she just shifts, moving to stretch her limbs, but hisses when going to move her arm sends a wave of soreness pain up her arm.

She grits her teeth, yelping and suddenly re-entering the world fully when the pain throws her into alertness.

Her eyes shoot open, and she moves to sit up in bed, heart racing when all she can remember is last being in the dark, dingy, falling apart Pizzaplex, but she calms when all she can see is someone's bedroom.

"...Huh?" She mumbles, her mind still not having fully caught up to her yet. She glances around the room, painted a pale blue, with furniture tucked against the neighboring walls and flowing curtains covering most of the sunlight filtering through the window, a light breeze ruffling them.

Movement catches her attention in the corner of her eye, and she glances over just in time for Gregory to snort awake, eyes trailing across her, not really seeing her, until they blow wide in recognition.

"Cassie!" Gregory exclaims, rushing to stand up from the position he was in where he had been sitting in a chair, laying his head in his arms, hunched over on the bed. "You're finally awake!"

Cassie feels her heart warm when she realizes that Gregory had been waiting for her to wake up by her bedside, never leaving her prescence. Long enough for him to fall asleep. Her heart slows to a normal rate when she sets eyes on him, immediately feeling at ease, and she breaths a deep breath, shifting to sit up more and allowing Gregory to help her when he rushes over.

She hisses when the movement jostles her leg and arm, and she finally takes a good look at them, realizing that at some point, in her sleep, her cardigan had been taken off, leaving her in her button-up, and her shoes and socks had been discarded, leaving her in her dark purple tights and shorts.

Gregory notices her staring at her foot, which is propped up on a pillow, peeking out from under the thick comforter, with some sort of makeshift splint made from cloth wrapped around the ankle.

"We had to improvise." He informs her, that lopsided grin Cassie'd always see in her dreams and on her homemade missing posters stretched on his face. "Ness cant exactly take the chance of getting involved with authority."

Cassie furrows her brows, her mind still kind of foggy from her -what she guesses- long sleep. "Ness?"

Gregory perks up. "Oh. It's a nickname we use for Vanessa a lot. Y'know, that blonde girl that was with us in the pizzeria?"

Cassie nods in recognition, remembering her blonde ponytail with rainbow streaks. "Yeah, um... how exactly did--"

She gets cut off when the door clicks open, and speak of the devil. "Oh, you're awake." Vanessa peeks her head in the room, a smile on her face when she sees Cassie sitting up and awake. "We were just making dinner, and I wanted to see if you were up."

"Um..." Cassie trails off. "Dinner?" She settles on.

Gregory senses her uncertainty, and settles a hand on her shoulder. "Vanessa's makin' chicken alfredo. And since you're awake, now you can finally eat."

Her stomach rumbles as if on queue, and her cheeks redden. Gregory has no problem laughing at her. "How long has it been?"

Cassie tries to think. "A few hours before you came and got me, since I ran to the Pizzaplex as soon as I got the message. So... that plus however long I slept for."

"Eighteen hours." Vanessa supplies helpfully.

Cassies eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. "Eighteen hours?!" She exclaims.

Gregory laughs, and Vanessa just looks at her with a crooked smile that reminds her of Gregory's. "Yup. You were exhausted physically and emotionally, and were injured, kiddo. The fact that you slept for so long checks out."

Gregory giggles. "Remember when we first got back, you slept for twenty-one."

Vanessa rolls her eyes. "I think I had a perfectly good reason to sleep the whole day away. Unlike you." She points two fingers from her eyes to Gregory. "Its not my fault you have the same amount of energy as a hyperactive dog."

"You mentioned a dog! So is the dog talk working?" Gregory asks, smugly. "Come on, Ness. Just concede. Its only a matter of time before you cave."

Cassie just watches, unsure of what to do when Gregory and Vanessa talk. Theres a grin on Gregory's face, not one she's used to. Not like the mischievous, pointed ones when Gregory was brewing something up, or the slight, hopeful ones, when Cassie would talk about when they got older, and she and Gregory could work towards getting a car and finally being able to give Gregory a life where he doesnt have to worry, and they can just live. Just a few more years, they'd always say.

This one is easy. Its gentle, with no kind of edge to be detected, and it looks so right on his face. It doesn't look forced, it doesnt look rare. Cassie can tell just by looking that Gregory has smiled like this often, and hes been allowed to be used to it. To smile without the quirk of worry.

It warms Cassies heart, to see that theres been change. But it also hurts.

Because he'd been away for so long, and although Cassie is so, so glad to have him back, she can't help but wonder why he never reached out to her. If he'd been able to smile so easily like this, while she couldn't muster one at times, too empty from his absence.

"I can barely take care of you and Freddy, kid." Vanessa points out, and Cassie is thrown back into reality. "And now I got another destroyed animatronic to fix and another kid. Not even mentioning a dog."

Cassie gasps, big and sudden at Vanessa's words. "Roxy!" She exclaims, and she winces when her voice rasps, and her dry throat burns from dehydration. "Roxy! Where is she? Is--Is she okay?!"

When Cassie starts to shift, arms moving to roll the comforter off of herself and somehow leave the bed, Gregory and Vanessa both rush to gently push her back down.

"Its okay, Cassie." Gregory says in that soft voice of his where it feels like it's only reserved for Cassie. "Shes in parts and service. While you were asleep, we wanted to fix her up a little, so we took turns watching you and fixing Roxy up."

Cassie feels the tension melt off of her body when she hears that Roxy is here, and has been fixed a little, but she still furrows her brows in confusion at 'parts and service', because are they not in a house right now?

Cassie can see Vanessa roll her eyes and go to explain. "He means that shes in one of the spare rooms we use to work on animatronics." Vanessa tells her. "We used it to build Freddy a body, and once Freddy started calling it parts and service, Gregory jumped on it, and it just stuck."

Cassie nods slowly, taking in the influx of information that she cant fully sort through right now. "So thats why Freddy didnt have a head."

"Do you want to see her?" Gregory asks. "Roxy, I mean. I'm suprised she hasnt barged in here already. I had to fight her to get her to trust me and Ness enough to work on her and watch you."

Cassie smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Because Roxy is so worried about her, and Cassie is happy that she cares, but shes upset that Roxy and Gregory are so hostile towards eachother. "Yeah. Um. I would like to see her."

Gregory nods, and smiles. "Kay. She wont look the exact same, since I tried my best to restore her some, but at least she isnt about to fall apart."

Vanessa leaves the room with a curse, and Cassie ignores the slight burning smell coming from outside the door. "...Okay. Just... when you get her, can we have some alone time?"

Gregory nods, halfway out the door. "Okay. Sure. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay." She says, and then Gregory is gone.

Cassie breathes deep, playing with the frayed edges of the comforter when theres nothing else to do. She can hear the clattering of kitchen utensils from further in the house, and hushed voices.

The silence stretches further in her room, and when Gregory doesnt return, not right away, Cassie can feel her chest tighten, and something grip her lungs.

She breathes harshly through her nose, and notices how her hands begin to shake slightly.

Something grabs at her chest, something akin to panic, feeling like a giant hand and squeezing.

Gregory. Is all she can think about. He said he'd be right back. Where is he? He shouldn't have been gone this long, right?

Have I lost him again?

She squeezes her eyes shut, trying really hard to keep still, to keep calm, but her brain is jumbled, like its tied itself in knots, and all she can think about is how Gregory isn't here with her.

She has half the mind to get up, to tear through the house to search for him, to make sure she hasnt lost him again, that she wont have to look for him again. But one look at her ankle thats wrapped in cloth and she knows it isnt possible.

She makes a pitiful noise, breaths huffing out of her mouth now, short and heavy, and Gregory hasnt come back yet, and she cant do a thing about it.

It's only when Gregory pops his head back through the door, nudging it open with a creak that Cassie is ripped away from her thoughts and actually realizes how much shes panicking.

Gregory steps inside, a smile on his face, mouth open ready to speak, but it drops right off as soon as he sees Cassie.

Cassie cant find it in her to speak when Gregory rushes over to her, asking if shes okay. Her brain feels like its fogged over, or like its signal is blocked, and she cant think enough to respond to his questions.

All she can do is reach out to him when relief overwhelms her, enough for tears to slip past her lashes, and Gregory pauses in his rapid fire questions, seeming to understand something.

"I'm here, Cassie." He tells her, getting on the bed with her. He let's her wrap her arms around him and squeeze him as much as she needs when she moves to. "I'm not leaving again, okay? I'll be here with you. Nothings going to take me away from you. You arent going to lose me."

Cassie relishes in the reassurance. It reaches past all of the fog into some part of her brain, and it's like hosing down a wildfire. Her breathing slows down as she soaks up the feeling of Gregory right here, with her, and not going anywhere.

The panic that gripped her heart loosens some, and shes finally able to breathe, breathing deep breaths when Gregory does too.

"Sorry." She says after a moment, wiping at her eyes. "I dont... I dont know why that happened. I, um..."

"Separation anxiety." Gregory says, and Cassie startles. When shes finally able to unfuse herself with Gregory enough to look at his face, he has a knowing, serious expression on his face. "I had my rodeo with it, too... me and Freddy didnt have too good of a time with it."

Cassie furrows her brows, and it feels like she has ten thousand more questions added to the pile to ask, but Gregory stops her before she can speak.

"I'll tell you another time, okay?" He says, gesturing to the door where Roxy stands, waiting patiently for someone who was, when she last checked, willing to rip apart the guy Cassie just hugged to death. "Just... I promise I'll help you with it, okay? I dont think I'll be too different from you, after trying to reach you all night, and also..."

His eyes glaze over some, looking like a thousand different memories are playing over them, but he shakes it off, offering one more smile. "Itll be fine, okay? I'm gonna go make you a plate, cuz I think dinners ready, and you can talk to Roxy. Sound good?"

Cassie doesnt know what's wrong with her, because she almost tears up again at Gregory's words, because hes being so kind, and so understanding. She shouldn't be surpised, she guesses, Gregory had always found a way to catch her off guard with kindness when she'd been so used to being brushed off or disliked.

She nods, smiling back ag him, and he offers a thumbs up, moving past Roxy and shutting the door behind him.

It's only now that Cassies able to fully pay attention to Roxy, and she gasps, almost not recognizing her.

Before, she hadn't had anything resembling a face. Just her endoskeleton skull exposed due to broken casing. But now, she somehow has her face casing back. The colors are a little off, and it looks dusty and unused, but she looks like herself. Her last remaining strands of hair are fuller now, some new strands added. They've been shifted, too, styled to look adjacent to her old style, just shorter.

Her body isnt much different, one of her arms has its forearms back, a bright, clean purple compared to her filthy leg warmers, and she has her other foot back, just a larger size and different color.

But the most prominent change are definitely the eyeballs, glowing blue LED's, stuck securely in their sockets.

Cassie laughs disbelievingly, joyously, putting her hands up to her mouth with a wide smile.

"Roxy!" She exclaims. "You have eyes again!"

It's only now, when Roxy laughs along with her, that Cassie realizes her voice box has been replaced, too. Cassie laughs even more when Roxys voice filters through, sounding happy, instead of angry, no warbling or static to be found.

Roxy heads to her bedside, and shes walking much more surely, now. Not like her long, wide strides, always careful to not collide with something. She sways from side to side, ever confident in her looks.

"How do I look?" Roxy asks, fluttering her eyelashes now that she has some again and fluffing her new hairdo up with her hand. "The brat gave me a makeover."

Cassie giggles. "You look beautiful, Roxy."

"I know." Roxy says, but then turns her attention towards Cassie. "How are you doing, Speed racer?" Roxy asks, voice soft. "That elevator couldnt have felt good."

Cassie shakes her head, gesturing to her splinted arm and ankle. "Nope, but... Gregory and Vanessa fixed me up pretty good. I'm not hurting that much."

"I'm glad." Roxy smiles, because she can now.

It's just Cassie and Roxy, now. And like with Gregory, everything she'd been feeling, all the thoughts she'd been having all bubble up to the surface, and now that everyones here, and safe, she just wants to get it all out.

So Cassie furrows her brows, and goes to tell Roxy I'm sorry, I didnt want to, I shut you down and you still saved me, why? But before she can, the door clicks back open, and Gregory steps inside her room, balancing two plates on his hands.

"Dinners ready." He tells her, smiling, and Cassie doesn't know why shes suprised when after Gregory hands her her own plate, he crawls up on the bed with her.

So she doesnt voice it. She just smiles, a big, wide one, but still small and soft.

Vanessa walks inside the room with her own plate, and Freddy, looking everything like the home-built animatronic he is, follows behind her, extra pillows and blankets in his arms.

"I was thinking we have a movie night." Vanessa says, sitting in the same chair Gregory was when she first woke up. "Better than you having to sit in here bored, right, kid?"

Cassie nods, and her mouth waters when she catches a whiff of the chicken alfredo sitting in her lap.

Gregory snatches the remote from Vanessa, holding it away from her arms when she tries to take it back. The TV in front of them that she just now notices is in the room comes to life, Disney+ appearing on screen.

Gregory hands the remote to Cassie when Vanessa finally gives up, and shes able to pick the movie, putting on a happy, animated movie, where all the characters have their happy endings and nothing bad really ever happens.

The chicken alfredo was delicious, and they sat in her makeshift room, pillows and blankets built up like jenga around her to make her as comfortable as possible for hours, laughing together.

Cassies cheeks hurt by the end, and although shes so thrilled after hanging out with Gregory again, just having fun together like they used to, she cant help but notice that Roxy was really quiet the whole time. Really quiet.

Cassie doesnt think shes very good at reading animatronics yet, not like Vanessa and Gregory seem to be able to with Freddy, but Cassie cant help but feel like Roxy wasnt really able to relax this whole time, and shes surrounded with people she feels unsafe with.

By the end of it all, when the suns long set and Cassie feels tiredness drag her eyelids down, she cant rest, even when Vanessa's retired to her room, Gregory's left, and Roxy and Freddy went to parts and service.

She feels the same panic as earlier grip her heart. It's not like a panic attack; she's had a few of those, it's more like any chance of relaxation has left her body, and all that's left is feeling tense, on edge, and like something bad is going to happen. Like Gregory isnt going to be there when she wakes up.

But she needn't have worried, because it isnt too long until Gregory re-enters her room, wearing pajamas and Roxy and Freddy plushies clutched in one hand, with a night light in the other.

"This helped me and Freddy when it'd get bad, too." Gregory explains, tucking the Roxy plushie into her own arm as he lays down with her, clicking the night light shaped like Sundrop on. "That way, you can see me if you get scared that I'm gone."

Cassie can't put into words how grateful she is, or how glad she is that Gregory's back, and that she finally has him again, so she just doesn't, even though she wants to. Instead, she just clicks the lamp off, and when she lays down, wraps her arms around his middle.

Once Gregory is pressed up against her, with her forehead against his collarbone, and she can feel his slow, calm breaths, she feels relaxed. She finally feels herself slip into dreamland, and has no nightmares.

2nd ao3 link

#heres my ao3 notes #just wanted this chapter to be them chilling for a second #because this big talk cassie keeps wanting to have with gregory and roxy and just everything keeps getting delayed #but itll happen eventually #oh trust me #also hope you enjoy the gregory and cassie backstory crumbs! i dont really have anything in mind but ill see where my brain takes it. im ki #but right now i think im going for the idea that gregory was homeless and friends with cassie #and while unable to do anything because gregory makes her hide the fact that hes homeless to her dad #she has him stay at her house to get fed and sleep somewhere safe #and their unusual circumstances plus how sweet their meeting was makes them really close #i also wanted to hammer in the idea of gregory #vanessa and freddy already going through the healing process. like its been an uphill battle and taken a long time #but theyve had time to grow and heal together and know eachother pretty well by now #so i think cassie having seperation anxiety with gregory (and vice versa just less because of his experience + other circumstances)#and gregory having gone through that with freddy (and still is) would be interesting. 3 star fam wants to help cassie + roxy heal #wont be posting chapters on tumblr from now on #so if you wanna keep up sub on ao3 :)#take me home #tmh #my fics #pandas writes

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tenitchyfingers · 4 months

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"If youre an anti youre pro cop" youre SO right and you should say it

(Sorry was goin thru the notes on that AITA post and saw ur tags and loved em lol)

I honestly find it completely insane how people can just genuinely believe that drawings and movies can make you do something you wouldn’t do otherwise, but only believe that wrt sexuality. like, what if we all framed the same thing around kindness and selflessness? Those qualities are celebrated and encouraged both in society and in media, yet there are assholes all over the world who might have seen positive media and it didn’t affect them at all. Or like, society has a big problem with murder, and that’s looked down on in media but sometimes it gets justified, and nobody accuses Murder on the Orient Express of encouraging people to go out and do murder. Nobody accuses slasher horror of pushing kids to murder either, not anymore, and matter of fact you have antis who MAKE and LOVE horror stuff, but they see no issue with that. Which means no, fiction does NOT affect reality. In any way, shape or form.

And I think they know it too, they just have some severe psychological issues and instead of actually addressing them they seek out comfort in blaming shit that has actually nothing to do with their real problems. They feel unstable and insecure and sick and in need of control so instead of figuring, “hey, maybe I can control MYSELF” they go around trying to control others. Because looking inward seems to be too hard for some people. And I don’t get it. If fixing a problem with yourself also fixes most problems you have with the world and how you perceive it, WHY wouldn’t you just go into therapy??? I literally do not get it. It’s the healthy and useful thing to do, it solves problems, and it genuinely helps you gaining real friends as opposed to snitch friends. I really do not get it. I haven’t lived like that for such a long time I legit do not remember what the thought process and the emotional process would be.

#appleschloss #replied #frankly I don’t even feel the need to call myself a proshipper #because that is literally just a normal person’s thought process #nobody outside of the internet who’s mentally stable or anyway healing thinks the way they do #it’s just purely all about being terminally online #I’m sure if they had REAL problems they wouldn’t give a shit what dolls people like smashing together #no wonder these are mostly kids btw #btw*#they literally never actually experienced an actual problem in their life #vent post

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starheirxero · 2 months

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I just came back from the laes episode-

That is it, that's where my heartstrings have enough, I will never fucking recover from it-

They fed us, by God, the angst is is too much, but it's so addictingly delicious-

The way Solar tried so hard to get them to communicate, yet how he let them talk and didn't push them, didn't try to force them.

And Earth and Lunar, God Earth and Lunar…

The way Earth is beating herself up, feeling like she can't talk about her problems, because "Lunar had it worse". The way she feels as though she's not allowed to talk about it, not meant to, because she's supposed to be the caretaker, the therapist, the golden child. The way she desperately tries to keep herself together as her world crumbles around her…

I don't even know where to start about Lunar- They finally reached the edge. They finally reached their limit. The question is, will they run? Will they take the leap? Or will they be pushed off? They are on their witts end, unable to control their powers, and slowly succumbing to their trauma.

They don't understand the world, nor themself anymore… They never asked for any of this, so how is this fair?

My goodness, this was too much for my poor heart-

Both of them are suffering so much, both of them can't see the end of the tunnel anymore!

There's so much more, but I can't even put it into words! I am gonna go insane-

-Stardust

I KNOWWWWW IT FUCKED ME UP SO BADDD AUAGAHAGAHHHH!!!!!!

Solar was doing his best and I feel a little bad for him too because I know he just wants everything to be okay between them but he doesn't really know How to navigate that </3

AND EARTH AND LUNAR,,, YEAH. YEAH. EVERYTHING YOU SAID EXACTLY 💔💔💔

It breaks my heart to see them interact like this because Earth is scared of Lunar and Lunar is scared to hurt Earth and their wounds are still too fresh to actually begin any communication or healing and it's like AUGH. EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE ☹️

So much yet so little was communicated to each other and I am being SO dramatically woeful about it. Exactly like u said, they can't even see the end of the tunnel anymore </3

#asks #anon #stardust anon #I UNDERSTAND BOTH OF THEM SO BAD ITS . AUAAGAGHHHH #especially with Lunar bc now that I'm properly processing how they cope and how they act w/ treatment #I can see that they just have /no/ idea how to cope with the fact that they're part of the problem in this situation!! they don't know-#-how to deal with the fact that healing and recovery isn't a two-week program!!#sometimes that shit's for life!!!#but he seems so /shaken/ by this that he's turning all his questions inwards to such a point he isn't even fully seeing other people anymore #yk??? like they understand earth is scared of them but he focuses too much on how to not be scary rather than how to help earth-#-not feel so scared. their every piece of /self/ is crumbling so they're too busy focusing on hot glueing themselves back together to-#-maintain their usual mask that they don't realize they could be helping Earth pick up the pieces of herself and that can help her pick up-#Lunar's pieces too. if that makes any sense. they are both so flawed and fleshed out its gut wrenching and i want to swaddle them and-#-give em a big ol' kiss on the forehead :(((#lunar and earth show #the lunar and earth show #tlaes

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not-poignant · 1 year

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Hi Pia

I've just finished FFS and oh boy, what a ride! I loved it so much and all the feels it gave me.

I just wanted to know, will you ever write a session between Ef and Dr Gary where the address Henton and his actions more thoroughly? I know Ef was avoidant of that subject for most of the story and was only beginning to edge towards it nearing the end, but I'd really like to read how that would go and all the hurt/comfort that it can lead to, especially between Ef and Dr Gary.

Hope you have a lovely day!

Hi anon!

I might write that one day (with Henton and his actions). It's definitely one of the things I've thought most about circling back on. Right now I'm on the fence with it because Henton will be coming into Underline the Black and I may also be able to address things there in a more immediate/different way!

#asks and answers #underline the black #falling falling stars #michael henton #efnisien ap wledig #dr gary konowalous #i think it'll be something that look at over time though #not in a cluster of sessions close together #it may not look as emotionally loaded for that reason #sometimes people process so much other stuff #that by the time they reach the stuff that was incredibly sensitised before #they know the landscape of healing and are no longer so shocked or betrayed #by their own emotions #it's hard to explain #but efnisien in the future dealing with henton will never again be like #efnisien in falling falling stars #and a more mature efnisien with more coping techniques #who feels more secure in his support group #will not be delivering the same kind of hurt/comfort vibes as like #efnisien in FFS #that's just how healing goes sometimes

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quietwingsinthesky · 8 months

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like the thing is that hallucifer/lucifer really want Sam to be aware that they’re who is fucking with him. lucifer is bad at pretending he is not himself when he wants to play with sam. he doesn’t want anything, any damage he does or any gift he gives him, to be accidentally attributed to someone else, sam has to know it was him.

and so i think he would be very insulted by gadreel’s plan to hide inside sam and scoop his memories out and lie about who he is.

#because he is. above all else. a possessive freak about Sam Winchester #that’s HIS favorite toy excuse you. how dare you put cracks in it. only Lucifer is allowed to do that #more importantly how dare Gadreel heal him. only lucifer should be allowed to glue him back together.#<- like this is his thought process. everything Sam is his. everything done to sam should be his to do.#late seasons lucifer is v yummy to me I want him to fuck up sam even more <3 #two modes you know. only s5 characterization or late seasons characterization because it’s hot. 🥰#spn #lucifer spn #sam winchester #hallucifer #Gadreel spn

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rosesradio · 2 years

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while I would have liked to see EJ socking Ricky (it's not a kink or anything like that, I swear) like... have u seen them? Like, legit? Seeing those side-by-side pics of the water bucket thing, EJ has like Ricky's entire body mass stored in only his triceps lmao, that twink wouldn't survive if EJ was to get physical. Would have hit that mfer harder than Robby did Kenny in S4...

i dunno, "punch me in the face" seems like a pretty intense kink, but i'm not one to judge lol

but yeah, damn. at first i thought this was a ricky hater anon but like...i'm not a ricky hater (i don't like some of the things he does, but i don't hate him at all) and i totally agree with you. it would've been wild to see them try to throw down within the last three minutes, but i mean 👀 all good enemies to lovers has to throw down at least once, what do you think the karate kid was about

i do think it was crazy how the rina kiss happened after that "i would slap you but you're my brother" comment. like ej was on the brink of tears and probably went outside to cry, clearly not rina's number one fan, and they were basically like "damn, that's crazy. anyways it's always been you, idk who that ej guy is. let's make out" it was just. sigh. wow.

the way you said "would have hit that mf harder than robby did kenny in s4" 😭...i gotta laugh bc otherwise i'd cry at how this finale turned out--

#mutuals that are in ck and hsmtmts i love you so much you just get me #but yeah i don't think ricky and gina should look to ej to like. dictate if they're 'allowed' like if they wanna get together--#it's whatever they wanna do. but ej being upset would have been a mood killer for me #ej is so much bigger than ricky though...now my caswen brain is thinking of ej carrying ricky to help heal my brain :')#i am...still processing though so pardon the rambles #hsmtmts #rose’s asks

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 2 years

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I'm a huge fan of your fic Canary and something I think about A LOT is the conversation Marinette and Tim had in the vents about her not being able to "turn off" her manipulativeness. Because you're so fucking right. I literally cried about it to my therapist because it's the first time I've actually felt so understood? I'm definitely not saying being manipulative is good, and I've been working on that part of myself for a while now (since my mother figure called me a manipulative sociopath in middle school), but you're so right that when you know how to act/what to say to get what you want its... difficult to interact with people without fear of being disingenuous. And then I make the wrong decisions because I don't want people to think I'm trying to manipulate them. I've come a long way from the worst of it though, I highly recommend my therapists to Marinette 😂 Now that I think about it, I think that's one of the reasons my love language is touch.

ANYWAY thank you for your amazing fic ❤❤❤❤️❤️ I love it so much, rogue!Marinette is a queen and girlboss, and you've gotten me to leave Daminette in favor of Timinette/Timari ☕️

What's this? An excuse to talk about one of my favorite scenes I've ever written? Ohoho~

A little more seriously, I actually have a lot of manipulative tendencies of my own (thanks dad) and, though, I've been working on it for quite a while, I still slip up. Writing that scene was very cathartic, especially since I've hardly ever seen manipulativeness treated as a(n adaptive) trait and not something to be demonized inherently. It's not a good thing, but I don't think it's fair to tell people that are genuinely working on it to simply "get better". When someone is overly jealous you give them time and resources to recover, why is manipulativeness seen as somehow different?

I also really like how I described it. Usually when you get a character like Canary (think Sophie from Leverage) they'll describe getting better as "taking off masks until, eventually, you're left only with the real me"... which is pretty accurate overall to the experience of letting go of personas, but, at least in my experience, manipulativeness kind of becomes you. It becomes hard to separate out and get rid of. It's not really as simple as an on-off switch, because if you choose to actively "turn it off" you're still suppressing a part of yourself in order to seem more palatable, which is also manipulative.

Basically, getting better is a process and it takes a lot of time to unlearn things. Manipulative tendencies are often developed in response to your home environment growing up. The day we start treating manipulativeness as a trauma response is still pretty far away, but I hope one day it'll be easier.

.................

On a lighter note, Marinette is indeed girlbossing and Timari is the ship.

#me: i am working on being manipulative #me while writing the post about it: shit wait maybe i should get rid of the manipulativeness in this post #its a process #i am trying it is just hard to separate it out #also #daminette and timinette have like completely opposite appeals #like daminette is all about people that are very different coming together and finding healing in each other #timinette is about two people that are alike in so many ways learning to better themselves together #they have opposing appeals and therefore should not be compared #but also timinette is better<3 #ollieanswers #canary #also canary is done #will start uploading it daily starting the 28th

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