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reddielibrary · 5 years

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Gotta Catch ‘Em All

Written by @pawprinterfanfic

Gift for @greenornaments

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Word count: 9,500

Rating: Teen

AO3 Llink

Eddie Kaspbrak never knew loving someone could hurt so much.

He was eighteen when he found out. It was his first year of college, and his insufferable roommate managed to worm his way into his heart.

(Fuck that guy.)

Richie was everything he should’ve hated — he was messy, and loud, and annoying. He did hate him. He hated his crude jokes, and his trash mouth, and his smile that caused his heart to skip a beat, and his gorgeous eyes, and his ability to make him laugh at anything, and how his heart was seemingly always in the right place, and—

Yeah. Eddie was a goner.

At eighteen years old, he knew that he was in love with Richie Tozier. Now, at twenty-one, Eddie realized how awful it was.

He was in love with someone who didn’t love him back.

It was torture, and Eddie hated it more than he hated much else before. It felt like he was doomed to be friends with the idiot for a long time — which was fantastic because Richie was a great guy — but it also sucked ass, because he really, really, really wanted to kiss him more than any friend should.

Don’t get him wrong; he was happy being Richie’s friend, because being anything with Richie was worlds better than being nothing with him. He’d gladly silently pine over him for years if it meant he could have his friendship. He was his best friend, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Having a massive crush on his roommate may or may not have had anything to do with his current situation, which involved getting dressed up to go dance with a bunch of sweaty adults, drinking alcohol that tasted like shit, and staying out half the night.

“It’ll be fun,” Richie repeated, following Eddie as he moved around their tiny apartment.

After spending freshmen year living in the college dorms together, they pooled their resources and rented off-property, which was probably one of their better decisions. Usually, they shared one brain cell when they were within ten feet of each other.

“If you say that one more time, I will kill you.” Eddie dumped his armful of freshly washed clothing onto the couch before turning to make his way to the kitchen, not stopping to give Richie a spare glance. “It’s not going to be fun. Dancing in someone’s dark and moist little basement will never be fun. You can quote me on that.”

“Please, for the love of god, never say moist again.”

Eddie pulled the tag off the bag of bread and plopped two pieces into the toaster. Richie hauled himself onto the counter, his feet swinging back and forth like he was a kid on a swing set.

“Moist is a fine word, Richard. Just like phlegm, and panties, and ointment, and—”

“Ew.” Richie gave a violent shudder and sent a sour look at the other man. Eddie tried to keep the corners of his lips from twitching upwards. He found bothering Richie fun. Sue him. “You really know how to kill the mood, don’t you, Kaspbrak?”

“There never was a mood, dipshit. Besides, I was just listing a bunch of perfectly normal words in the English language. I didn’t know you were going to gag at them.”

Richie tried to scowl. Eddie almost would’ve believed it, save for the smile curling his lips. “I hate you,” he said.

Eddie pursed his lips. “Do you, now?”

The facade cracked easily. The scowl disappeared, leaving Richie grinning widely. “You’re right. I’m a liar. I love you. My lil’ Eddie Spaghetti.”

Richie made a move to press his lips to Eddie’s cheek, but he stepped out of the way. The butter knife, covered in soy butter, pointed in his direction. Richie must’ve anticipated his response, because he gave an exaggerated wink and ruffled Eddie’s hair.

“If you’re trying to convince me to come with you, you’re doing a shitty job,” he pointed out. His heart was still pounding from when Richie made a move to kiss his cheek, and he hoped his body wasn’t betraying him with a blush. “You’re annoying the shit out of me, Rich.”

“But you luv me,” he sang, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Sure, like I love wet socks, maybe.”

Eddie Kaspbrak was a liar.

Richie wasn’t deterred and continued to pester him. “It will be fun. I’ll be there. Bill will be there. Stan will be there. Mike will be there. Bev will be there. Ben will—”

“I get it. Everyone will be there.”

Eddie reached around Richie to grab a glass from the cupboard behind him. He moved out of the way of the swinging door, thus moving right into Eddie’s space. He bit his tongue and forced his eyes to remain on the task at hand.

Don’t get distracted. Don’t look at him. Don’t look at—

Fuck, he has really pretty eyes. And his stupid smile, god, I want to kiss that stupid smile right off his face. And—

Wait! No! Fuck!

Eddie jolted backwards, pulling his glass with him. Richie didn’t say anything and only raised an eyebrow as he slid back against the cupboard.

Eddie’s heart was pounding. Being so close to Richie was unhealthy — all he wanted to do was tell him how in love with him he was, and that was guaranteed to end in disaster and embarrassment.

“It’s our last year in college, Eds, and after this we’ll be adults.” Richie wrinkles his nose at the word, like it thoroughly disgusted him. “How many opportunities do you think we’ll have as fucking adults to go to a Halloween party? Do you think we’ll ever be able to get dressed up in shitty store-bought costumes and eat so much candy our stomach hurts ever again?” He didn’t wait for him to respond. “No! We’ll be old and boring by Halloween 1998. This is our last chance!”

“First of all, you’re a dramatic bitch, Rich. Secondly, I’m fairly confident adults have Halloween parties.”

“Are you an adult?”

“Well, I am twenty-one years old, so—”

“Are you an actual graduated adult living in the real world, and not this weird in-between pre-adulthood thing called college?” Richie cocked an eyebrow, already knowing the answer. “Exactly. So how confident are you that actual adults in the real world celebrate Halloween?”

Eddie was silent for a long moment because, well, he wasn’t entirely sure. His mother had been a pretty big downer when he was growing up, and she hated Halloween with a passion. She never let him go trick-or-treating, just in case someone put razor blades in his Kit Kat — he couldn’t ever imagine her going to a Halloween party.

“Exactly.” Richie adjusted his glasses on his nose after he jumped off the counter top. “I know you hate Halloween and shit, but it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t hate Halloween.” Eddie didn’t bother to tell him off for saying that it was going to be fun again. Knowing Richie, he would start saying that more just to annoy him. “I just don’t like it.”

“You once told me that you’d rather sleep on the public bathroom floor than celebrate Halloween, Eds.” Eddie cringed at the visual. Public bathrooms were disgusting, and don’t get him started on the floor!? Ew, ew, ew, ew— “I arrest my case.”

“Okay, maybe I do hate Halloween, but that’s because it’s so boring. What? I’m supposed to dress up as something? And walk around, asking strangers for candy? And then eat that candy? That sounds horrible!”

“Sorry to break it to you, Eds, but I think we’re a tad too old to be trick-or-treating. No talking to strangers for you this year, unfortunately.”

Eddie sat down in the kitchen chair ungracefully, the plate clattering to the table in front of him. He gave Richie a deadpan look. “Ha ha,” he said sarcastically.

Richie slid into the chair opposite to him and stole a slice of toast from his plate. Eddie didn’t comment. Richie jacking his food was more common than he’d admit.

“Halloween is great, you just don’t know it yet! We will go to this party together and, since I’m the master of all things spooky, I’ll show you just how great Halloween is.” He took a bite of toast, sending crumbs flying.

Eddie nibbled on the piece of bread in contemplation. Richie watched him, his eyes wide and leg bouncing.

Finally, Eddie gave in. “I don’t have a costume.”

Richie must’ve sensed that he was beginning to consider it, and he pounced. Seeing how excited he was about Eddie going with him to this stupid party almost made his heart skip a beat.

“I can get you a discount on costumes,” he said, crumbs going everywhere.

That was Richie’s newest gig — working at Oh My Spooky at the mall, a seasonal store that popped up every August, claiming the empty of buildings of deceased department stores, like Kmart.

“The party’s in like… two hours, Rich. Spooky is closed.”

“Right, right.” He waved his hand, dismissing the idea. “I’ll just let you borrow one of mine. We had to wear costumes on shift, right, so I have like a shit ton of costumes in my room.”

“I know, idiot. I live with you. Your room is a disaster.”

It was true. Richie’s room was a disaster year round, but it looked like the sight of a natural disaster during the month of October. If he got desperate, Eddie was sure Richie could make a good buck by selling all the costumes he accumulated.

Richie grasped the rims of his glasses and squinted his eyes dramatically, giving Eddie a once over. Eddie had been friends with Richie long enough to know he should just let him do his thing. He continued to nibble on the toast.

Finally, their eyes met again. “But, you’re like, really fucking tiny, Eds, so—”

“Fuck off,” he said, tossing a piece of crust at his head. Richie grinned and caught it in his mouth. “I’m not really fucking tiny.”

“Aw, you are, sweetheart, you just can’t face the facts.” Richie had the audacity to lean across the table and boop Eddie on the nose. “Cute, cute, cute!”

He swatted Richie’s hand away from him. His heart was racing. Butterflies were rolling in his stomach. He felt his cheeks burning, and he was sure Richie was going to tease him about it.

Before he could, Eddie tried to cover his tracks. He narrowed his eyes and pointed threateningly at Richie. “I will murder you.”

“See! You have the Halloween spirit!” Richie leaned back in his chair, grinning wider than Eddie could remember. His stupid smile made Eddie want to smile. Fuck him. “Are you in, then? You’re coming tonight?”

Maybe it was because Richie’s smile was doing something funny to his brain, or maybe it was because he wanted to go to a party with Richie before they graduated, or maybe it was because he was a little curious as to why everyone loved Halloween, but he nodded.

“Fine,” he huffed. “I’ll come tonight.” Richie let out a little whoop and jumped up from his chair. “But I won’t enjoy it!”

“You’re so cute when you’re stubborn,” Richie said, reaching forward to boop his nose again. Eddie’s mouth ran dry because—

Fuck, Richie calling him cute was one of his favourite sounds.

“Call me cute again, and I’ll— I’ll—” Fuck, he didn’t have a comeback. Richie seemed to love the fact Eddie was rendered speechless, and laughed a little harder.

“Cute, cute, cute!”

“Asshole,” he muttered, shoving the last piece of toast into his mouth. Richie grinned brightly at that, and it was the final straw for Eddie. He felt a smile of his own spread across his face. It was hard not to smile with Richie in the room.

“Wait there. I’ll get your costume.”

Richie was already running out of the kitchen before Eddie swallowed his toast to respond. “Nothing with less fabric than—”

“Your mom’s underwear!? Got it!”

Eddie’s head fell to his hands. “No, Richard, I wasn’t, in fact, going to use my mother’s underwear as a reference, but thank you! I was going to say—”

Richie peeled back into the kitchen before Eddie could finish his sentence, two costumes strung across his arms. “Doesn’t matter. Here.”

He tossed the first costume at Eddie’s head, and he managed to catch it before a metal belt buckle could whip him in the eye. It took him less than three seconds to examine the fabric and come to a verdict.

“Absolutely fucking not, Richard. What the fuck!? Why the fuck would I want to go as sexy Robin? That makes no fucking sense!” Richie is doubled over from laughing so hard, and Eddie was finding it exceedingly difficult not to join in.

“I just wanted to see your expression,” he managed to get out between laughs. “Fucking classic!”

Eddie felt a smile pulling at his lips, and he was desperate not to let Richie see it.

(Because, to be honest, if Richie saw the reaction he invoked in him, he never would shut up.)

(And, yes, that was it.)

(No, it had nothing to do with the fact he was helplessly in love with him and smiling at him like he hung the stars in the sky would give that away.)

(Really.)

(Eddie Kaspbrak was many things, but a liar was not one of them.)

“Why the fuck did you have this in your room!?” he questioned, hanging onto the threads of annoyance. His question made Richie laugh harder. Fuck. Knowing he was the one making Richie laugh did funny things to his heart.

“Your mom loves role-play, didn’t you know? She— Ouch! Fuck!” Eddie had thrown the costume at Richie with a glare.

“Shut up,” he said, but it was no use. The two of them were looking at each other, and Eddie couldn’t keep his smile down any longer. He shook his head fondly and leaned back in his chair. “Please tell me you have something better than sexy Robin?”

Richie lifted up a red and blue outfit, his eyebrow raised in question. Eddie pulled a face when he realized it was supposed to be Mario from Mario Brothers. When Eddie insulted the costume, Richie looked personally offended.

“You don’t want to go as this godly man!?” Eddie didn’t ask Richie why Mario was so godly, but he took it upon himself to explain. “He saved the world — multiple times, may I add. He fights bad guys, he dodges those green shell dudes, he eats a shit ton of mushrooms, he fights for his princess, he can drive. Holy shit, Eddie, he can drive!”

In the end, Richie gave up on trying to sell the Mario costume.

The next pair of costumes to come out were Popeye the Sailorman, which got an immediate no from Eddie, and Scooby-Doo, which also got an immediate no.

Richie stuck out his bottom lip and gave a poor impression of Scooby. “Ruh roh,” he said, his voice rough. “Reddie roesn’t rant to rear me!”

“I was unsure before, but now that’s a solid no.”

This went on for longer than Eddie would care to admit. Richie would bring out a few costumes at a time and, each time, Eddie would find something wrong with it. “I hated that cartoon.” “If I wanted to be a ghost, I’d just cut holes out of one of our sheets.” “Am I supposed to know what that character is?”

Richie was patient, and all Eddie could think of was how good he was, willing to spend forever going through costumes with him, joking all through it, never letting Eddie’s sour mood tarnish his.

Fuck, he couldn’t stop thinking about him. How his lips would curve into a smile that made him want to smile too, how his eyes sparkled like they were part of the ocean, how his freckles spanned his pale skin like stars in the sky. He couldn’t stop thinking about pressing his lips against his, or running his hands through his curls, or feeling his hot breath against his face, and—

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was so far gone, it wasn’t even funny. When did he turn into a sap? Like, what the fuck?

Eddie was so thrown off guard that, when Richie came with the next costume, he said— “Yes.” Richie’s eyes widened the slightest bit, and that was when Eddie realized he had no idea what he was agreeing too. He cleared his throat and sat a bit straighter. “I mean. Maybe.”

“Oooooooookay then.” Richie adjusted his glasses on his face and continued to watch Eddie carefully. “Listen, man, if you don’t want to come tonight, that’s fine, I don’t want to make you, but—”

“No,” he said quickly.

He didn’t want Richie thinking that he was being forced to do something he didn’t want to because that wasn’t the case. He wanted to go. He wanted to see why Richie liked Halloween so much, and he wanted to get dressed up in a shitty costume and drink shitty alcohol and eat candy that may or may not make him sick. It was going to be fun.

Besides, it meant he got to spend the evening with Richie, and that was good enough for him.

“What’s the next costume?” Richie cocked an eyebrow, and Eddie realized he had no idea what he had been saying only a minute ago. “Sorry, what did you say? I was distracted by the fact that you own a concerning amount of Halloween costumes. I mean, seriously, Rich, this is kind of baffling.”

Richie slid into the kitchen chair opposite from him again. “I have some bad news for you, Eds.” He looked almost… serious. It threw Eddie, just a little bit.

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?”

He leaned forward, stretching his arms across the table and taking hold of Eddie’s hand. All the air left Eddie’s lungs at the contact because, shit, he was holding Richie’s hand. It was cold and clammy, but that seemed to fit him perfectly.

Finally, Richie spoke.

“That’s it. That’s all my costumes. Looks like you have two options from here; go stark naked, or wear what you usually do and say you’re dressed as a nerd.”

Eddie flicked the palm of his hand and crossed his arms. “First off, fuck you. Second off, fuck you.”

Richie smirked. “I take it you don’t want to go naked? C’mon, you’re depriving the world of—“

“No, I’m not going naked, you dumbass. How is going naked a viable solution to this problem anyways!?”

Richie winked. “You caught me. I just wanna see you naked, sweetheart.”

Eddie tried to keep his expression blank, but he could feel his face flushing. Fuck Richie, fuck his ability to flirt with anyone, fuck his stupid body for giving away how affected he would get from his flirting.

“I mean, I do have one last option.”

When Richie returned to the kitchen, he was carrying a yellow onesie. Upon further inspection, he noticed a tail in the shape of a lightning bolt, and pointed ears with black tips, and—

“Pikachu!!”

Eddie moved across the room quickly and dragged his fingertips over the fabric. He was right, the costume was for Pikachu, and it was perfect. He loved the little guy because how could you not? He was a badass, and an immeasurable amount of cute.

“Sold!” Eddie said, snatching the costume fully from Richie’s hands. “Shit, why didn’t you start with this one? You know how much I love Pikachu.”

Maybe Richie was right earlier when he called him a nerd. If liking Pokémon more than he liked his own mother made him a nerd, then so be it!

“Yeah, well, it comes with a catch.” For the first time, Eddie realized how unsure and hesitant Richie looked. He was shifting his weight from foot to foot and had his hands buried in his pockets.

Richie was actually nervous.

“Please tell me that the butt isn’t cut out or something.” Eddie flopped the costume over to check and — nope. All pieces to the costume were there.

“No, there’s nothing wrong with it,” he assured Eddie. “It just isn’t alone.”

“... What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Richie puffed out his cheeks. “It means that it’s part of a set. I, uh, have the costume that matches it. Hold on.” Seconds later, Richie reappeared with his costume in hand.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re going as Ash?”

“Hell yeah, man. Gotta catch ‘em all, you know?”

“That makes no fucking sense, Richie, so no, I don’t know.” Eddie tried to ignore how his stomach was twisting. If Richie was going as Ash and he was going as Pikachu, and Richie claimed it was part of a set, that meant— “Wait. Is this a couples costume?”

The words slipped out of Eddie’s mouth and a cold dread settled over him.

Fuck. Just mentioning the word ‘couple’ to Richie felt like he was crossing a line — a line that he drew, one that he was desperate not to cross. Don’t cross this line, he told himself, or you’ll fuck up your friendship.

Richie’s expression was one he hadn’t seen before, and it made his heart race for a completely different reason than before. Was it weird that he suggested it was a couples costume? Or was he being paranoid? Because it felt like mentioning the word ‘couple’ to him was normal, but then again—

“Uh. Yeah. It came as a set, like… a couple costume.” He adjusted his glasses on his nose — a nervous habit. He was looking at him, like he was waiting for him to say something. Eddie’s mouth had run dry and his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

“Oh.” He was racking his brain, trying to figure out the best response in this situation. Finally, he settled on an answer. “Well, that’s okay. I can always wear the ghost costume, or — even better — the sexy Robin.”

Richie didn’t smile at his attempt at a joke. In fact, he looked almost hurt. “What? You’re not going to wear Pikachu?”

Eddie was confused. Of course he wasn’t going to wear a couples costume with Richie — that felt like it was crossing a million lines. Maybe if he wasn’t completely in love with him, it would be a different story, but he was in love with him.

“No.”

“But you were excited about it?” Richie’s next smile was forced — Eddie could tell by the way it didn’t reach his eyes. “Why not?”

This felt like some weird alternate reality to Eddie. This wasn’t happening, was it? Richie wasn’t asking him to explain why he didn’t want to wear a couples costume with him, right? He couldn’t exactly say ‘because I’m in love with you, and this is crossing that invisible line I set so I don’t fuck things up.’

He was screwed.

So, he lied.

“People will think that we’re… together if we show up in a couples costume.” Now that he said it out loud, it didn’t sound like a lie, and it didn’t feel like one either.

Yeah. Shit. People will think we’re together, and the night will be filled with Richie indirectly shooting me down all night.

He could see it now; Richie would explain to everyone how they’re not together because how could they be? He couldn’t love that mess of a human!

Shit. This quickly replaced his fear of crossing the invisible line. He doubted he could handle a whole evening filled with Richie explaining to strangers how they were not — and would never be — a couple.

Richie’s answer felt like a punch in the gut.

“Is there a problem with that? With people thinking we’re together?”

This was a sick joke, Eddie decided. Richie knows I’m in love with him and he’s being an ass about it.

Except, Richie wasn’t an ass — not about things that mattered, anyways. Sure, he would joke about fucking his mom and try to annoy him to death, but he wasn’t an asshole about important things.

“Yeah, of course that’s a problem.” His words may have come out harsher than he intended. Eddie shuffled awkwardly and looked anywhere that wasn’t at Richie. “We aren’t together. We’re… We’re friends.”

“Right. Friends.” Eddie’s gaze flicked to meet Richie’s from how deflated he sounded. It must’ve been his mind playing tricks on him though, because Richie was beaming and bouncing on the balls of his feet. “There you have it, Eds! We’re friends, so it doesn’t matter. This is just what friends do. I know you have, like, zero childhood friends and you don’t know this shit, but—”

“Fuck off,” Eddie said, but his voice didn’t have any venom in it. Richie was right — going in a couples costume together wasn’t a big deal for two friends. They were just friends. Bros. Pals. Buds. “Fine, you’re right, I’m being weird.” Because I’m totally fucking in love with you. “I’m going to change.”

Richie’s smile made warmth bubble up inside of him. “There ye have it, good ol’ chap! Time to get our spook on!”

Eddie was incredibly nervous, and he blamed the asshole beside him.

Richie looked good, which was extremely strange considering he was dressed in the Ash costume. But he also wore a grin so wide that it made Eddie’s cheeks hurt from just looking at it. His eyes were dancing with excitement. He looked so carefree in that moment, walking down the street with a skip in his step, and it made Eddie’s chest warm.

He was also nervous because he hadn’t gone to a party for a really long time, not since they were both freshmen and Richie was set on dragging Eddie everywhere he went. He would be the first to admit that he wasn’t in tune with current pop songs, and his heart lurched when he realized he might not know any song.

No, that was ridiculous. Richie blasted pop songs at two in the morning some days, so he would at least know those songs.

“Did you eat something before we left?” Eddie asked, breaking the silence of the night. Richie was a few paces ahead of him as they walked to the party, humming what sounded like Space Jam theme song. “Drinking on an empty stomach can be dangerous, you know, so...”

Richie turned around and continued to walk backwards. He was smiling softly and it made Eddie’s heart flip. It wasn’t often that Richie looked so open — so vulnerable. Usually he looked like the little asshole he was.

The change made Eddie feel completely out of his depth.

He loved it.

“You take such good care of me, my Eds Spagheds.” He blew a kiss. Eddie scowled.

“I just don’t want to be dragging you home drunk, fucker. Don’t mistake my words for concern. It’s purely selfish.”

“Right, of course.” Richie spun back around. “I did eat though. Wouldn’t want to have you carrying me home. We’d never make it up the block.”

“Shut up. Like you could carry me.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized his mistake. “No, Richie, don’t even—“

It was too late.

Richie was laughing like a maniac when he scooped Eddie off the ground and into his arms. Eddie clutched at the collar of his blue and white striped shirt to balance himself and Richie’s arms wound under his knees and around his back. All the air in his lungs came out in a whoosh and he could feel his blood rushing to his cheeks.

His knuckles were white from how tightly he was holding his collar. His heart was pounding so loudly that he was sure Richie could hear it.

Richie took off in a sprint and Eddie clung to him out of fear, all the while shouting for him to put him down.

Yet, he wanted the exact opposite of that.

He really didn’t want Richie to put him down.

He could feel each one of Richie’s breaths ghost along his face, and he could feel his palms digging into his back. His body was warm and he smelled distinctly of syrup, which was fitting, considering he once witnessed him eat a full box of Eggos in ten minutes.

From the angle he was in, it looked like he was glowing. The streetlights blurred around him. The sharpness of his jaw and the slope of his nose stole the breath from his lungs. It felt like his whole body was buzzing from being pressed against him.

He was gone.

So far gone.

As they approached the house the party was being held at, Richie set Eddie back down on his feet, a smug smile tugging at his lips.

“Easy peasy,” he said, sounding slightly breathless.

Eddie tried to keep his expression blank, but fuck, Richie made him want to smile.

The closer they got, the more nervous he became.

He pulled at the hem of his yellow sleeve. Maybe he shouldn’t have agreed to come with Richie tonight; it seemed like he was getting nervous about everything. He was nervous about the stupid couples costume, and he was nervous about how he acted with Richie earlier, and he was nervous about the music, and dancing, and—

“It’ll be fine, my Eds Spagheds.” Richie slung his arm around his shoulders as they made their was up the driveway to the house the party was being hosted at. “We look smashing. We’ll be the bells of the ball.”

“We do not look smashing. We’re dressed as characters from a children’s cartoon. Which brings me to my next point; why the fuck is Ash and Pikachu a couples costume? Isn’t Ash, like, Pikachu’s owner or some shit? And isn’t Pikachu and Pokémon, which is basically an animal? This seems entirely inappropriate for a couples costume, considering they’re not romantic and one is an animal, so—”

His thoughts died off when Richie leaned forward and planted a wet kiss to Eddie’s cheek. He jolted away and gave him a wild look because—

“What the fuck was that!?” Eddie swiped at the slobber left behind on his cheek while his heart raced. He wanted to shove Richie against the front door and kiss him dizzy.

“You’re just so cute, cute, cute! Look at you — dressed as lil’ ol’ Pikachu, ranting about how unsexy you are. Whew. Taking my breath away.”

Eddie scowled. Richie was a flirt — he knew that from day one — but he was laying it on thick right now, and he really wasn’t in the best mood to deal with that. All while Richie was flirting with him, he had to live with the knowledge that it was all play, and it hurt.

With that, they entered the house.

Eddie will admit; Halloween was pretty sweet.

(Which was an awesome pun, by the way, because his stomach was currently hurting from eating so many sweet pieces of candy.)

Beverly burst out laughing when she originally saw his and Richie’s costumes, commenting how cute they were.

“I’m not cute,” Eddie insisted. Richie attempted to boop him on the nose again, and he flipped him off.

Stan rolled his eyes.

Eddie spent the first part of the night dancing with their group of friends, and drinking shitty alcohol, and eating way too much candy.

While they danced, Richie hovered by his side. Every once and awhile, he’d lower his lips to his ear and whisper to him, each time causing goosebumps to erupt along his arms. None of the whispers were of importance; it was just Richie fucking around, talking about different costumes they saw, or bringing up one of their jokes, or doing a poor impersonation of a cowboy singing the lyrics of the song blaring from the speakers.

Without fail, Richie was able to get Eddie laughing. It didn’t take too long for Eddie to feel more comfortable moving around the basement (“and yes, Richie, is moist, thank you very much”) and enjoying himself.

That was the thing about Richie. He was always able to bring Eddie out of his shell, encouraging him to be brave and be himself. His carefree attitude made Eddie want to be carefree too.

When the dance floor (basement) got too crowded, their little group moved to sit on a pair of couches on the (not moist) ground floor of the house. It was a tight squeeze, but all seven of them managed to fit on the furniture. Eddie wasn’t going to complain about the fact Richie was practically in his lap because, truth be told, being pressed against him wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

Richie had his arm draped around his shoulders and legs on his, squishing him into the armrest. As the night stretched on, he became louder, his jokes grew worse, and his mouth trashier. Eddie loved how his cheeks flushed red, and how his hands were clammy on his arm, and how he seemed to laugh more than talk.

When Bev started talking about an upcoming movie she wanted to see, Richie turned his full attention to him.

“What do you think, Eds? Having fun?”

Not wanting to give Richie the satisfaction of being right, he wrinkled his nose. “It’s alright, I guess.”

Richie saw through it easily. “Fuck off. You’re having the time of your life.”

“Fine. I’m having fun.”

“Ha. Fucking told you it would be fun!”

Eddie was about to shoot back at him, but a guy from his sociology class leaned over the couch and poked him in the shoulder, drawing his attention away from him. “Hey, Eddie, right? Candy?” He lifted a giant bowl of individually wrapped candies and chocolates.

He glanced in the bowl and tried to suppress a frown. The one thing he did hate about Halloween was the ungodly amounts of nutty chocolate everywhere. Of course, the one food he was allergic to had to be in every goddamn chocolate bar sold on this dumb holiday.

And, worst of all, was trying to figure out a way to explain to strangers that no, he didn’t want their candy and, no, it wasn’t because he was on a diet, and, no, it didn’t matter that they only had a little bit of nuts in them. Then, he’d spend the next ten minutes trying to educate them about allergies because they were confused, and it usually ended up with him fending off passive-aggressive comments from them.

People that didn’t know him seemed to love getting personally offended by his allergy.

Before Eddie could respond to the offered chocolate, Richie leaned forward.

“We’re more sophisticated than that, Chad.” Richie pushed the orange bowl away from the two of them. “We brought our own.” As if to demonstrate the fact they had a secret stash of chocolate, Richie pulled out a Kit Kat from his left pocket and waved it.

When Chad was out of ear-shot, Eddie turned to Richie. “But we didn’t bring our own.”

Richie unwrapped the chocolate bar and split it in two as he spoke. “Maybe you didn’t. Plus, that dude doesn’t need to know the real reason you don’t want to eat his precious chocolate.” He lifted half of the chocolate bar in offering. “You want?” Richie stuffed the chocolate bar between Eddie’s parted lips. The action felt extremely intimate and made Eddie flush. He hoped the darkness hid it. “People are always assholes about that shit, so I came prepared.”

Eddie’s heart felt like it had flipped a few times in his chest. Richie knew how uncomfortable it made him to explain his medical condition to completely random strangers, and managed to come up with an explanation to save him from that.

Fuck, he loved him.

“Aaaaaaand,” Richie drawled, patting his left pocket, “there’s a lot more where that came from. I’ll fend off any nut carrying assholes for you.”

Eddie’s expression softened. He felt overwhelmed with affection by that simple action.

“I— Uh— Thank you, Rich.”

“Anything for you, my lil’ Pikachu.”

Eddie wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it felt like hours. His sides hurt from laughing so much. His head was a little fuzzy from the alcohol. He ate way too many half-melted Kit Kats from Richie’s pocket.

Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off of Richie. He was a very animated storyteller and managed to make any story hilarious, even if said story was about him.

“And I swear — I swear, guys — I never saw the lil’ shit run faster than in that moment. Fuck, I wish I would’ve got that on video and sent it to Guinness World Records or some shit. He probably broke the sound barrier.”

The other five Losers were in stitches around them, unable to form coherent sentences. Even Eddie could barely speak, and Richie was ripping into him.

“Hey, asshole, it was terrifying,” he argued. “I swear to god, that dog had rabies.”

“It was a Pomeranian, first off, and it had just finished a bowl of whipped cream that you gave it!��

“I didn’t give it whipped cream.”

“No?”

“No! My bowl filled with whipped cream merely fell to the ground, and I was too slow at picking it up.”

Somehow, Eddie’s version of the story made Bev laugh harder. Richie was barely keeping his laughs contained, and a goofy smile was stretched across his face.

“I’m going to get another drink.” Eddie pushed Richie’s legs off of him and stood up from the couch. As soon as he did, he missed the warmth that came with cramming beside him.

Richie hooked his ankle around his before he could leave and threw a Poké Ball at him. It bounced against his stomach and rolled to the floor. Before he could ask what the fuck he was doing, Richie gave him a shit-eating grin.

“Caught you! I told ya’ — I gotta catch ‘em all!”

It was a stupid joke, but it made Eddie grin.

Fuck this. Fuck his dumb feelings. Fuck Richie Tozier and his cute face and his stupid jokes.

Eddie turned and made a break for it before he accidentally said something stupid in response. The further away he moved from Richie, the better. He needed time to refocus, and the drink table was his salvation.

Except, it wasn’t.

He was in the middle of pouring himself a glass of orange juice (which was definitely only at the party for mixing purposes) when a girl he didn’t know approached him.

“You two are cute, by the way!”

He barely heard her over the roaring music.

“What?”

When Eddie did make out what she was saying, he almost wished he couldn’t.

“You and your Ash! You two make a cute couple!”

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Abort mission. Abort mission.

Eddie’s face felt exactly how it did after spending a whole day in the sun without sunblock. He was burning and—

Fuck!!! He knew this would happen!!!!!!

“Oh, uh, well—” He stumbled over his words, suddenly too shocked to make a full sentence. “We’re actually not dating — Ash and I.” He pointed to his yellow chest. “I know. Confusing! Right!?” His laughter was forced because dammit, it felt like he could explode from embarrassment.

(Not because someone mistook him for dating Richie, because, damn, that was the dream, but because he wanted to be dating Richie and now had to explain how he wasn’t. It was all too close to the feeling category for it not to be embarrassing.)

Eddie continued to speak. “We’re just wearing a couples costume because this is all we had. We’re not really together. He’s, uh… Well, he’s the Ash to my Pikachu… because they’re not romantic partners… because one’s an animal… and they’re fictional.”

The girl raised her eyebrow and took a long sip of her drink. Finally, she said, “well, you could’ve fooled me.”

What the fuck did that mean?!

By the time he made it back to the couch, he was still thinking about it.

His stomach was twisting because that random girl’s words could only mean one thing; he, Eddie Kaspbrak, was terrible at pretending not to love Richie Tozier.

It hit him like a punch to the gut.

He was too obvious with his feelings. He was flirting too much, smiling too hard, laughing too easily. If some random girl was convinced they were dating because of how big of a crush Eddie had on Richie, then he was fucked.

He sunk into the couch, his jaw slack and hands shaking. He needed to get a grip — on his response now, but also his massive crush on his roommate.

Within three seconds flat, Eddie came up with a set of rules to get him through this evening.

1) Don’t look at Richie. 2) Don’t think about how nice it is to have his arm around your shoulders. 3) Avoid physical contact at all costs. 4) Don’t laugh at any of his stupid jokes. 5) Insult him!!! Insult him to throw him off the scent!!!

It was a solid plan.

It lasted for approximately five minutes.

Richie was telling the story of the time he nearly got a concussion from trying to kill a spider in the shower, and it was getting harder and harder not to laugh, especially when he pulled out his silly voices.

Rule number 4! Rule number 4!

Richie laughed at his own joke and threw his head back from the force of it. Richie laughing was always endearing to Eddie; his whole body seemingly was thrown into it. His head would fly back, and his arms would wrap around his torso, and his knees would pull closer to his chest the slightest bit.

The corners of Eddie’s lips quirked up. His laugh was infectious — and that was the only infectious thing Eddie welcomed into his life.

Even after he finished laughing, Richie kept his head thrown back, a smile of sheer joy on his stupid face. The conversation continued on without them, moving to talk about Stan’s half-burned lab report from a Bunsen burner accident. Richie rolled his neck, shifting so his cheek was pressed against Eddie’s shoulder.

And there went rule number 3.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice softer than it was moments before. The intensity in his gaze made Eddie’s mouth run dry. “You seem… off.”

“I’m fine.” He hoped his smile didn’t look as forced as it felt. “Don’t worry about it.”

“We can go if you want?” Richie offered. “I think it’s passed your wittle bedtime.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, but couldn’t fight the smirk. Before he could respond, he remembered rule number 5.

Insult the shit out of him.

“The only thing ‘wittle’ between us is your dick.”

Yeah, what the fuck was that?

As soon as the words left his mouth, Eddie realized his grave mistake.

Richie’s eyes had widened and his head lifted off his shoulder, as if, he too, realized how massive of a mistake Eddie just made.

Eddie tried to backtrack.

“Not that your dick is between us.” Fuck, nope, that wasn’t the right thing to say. “Or little.” Nope, that wasn’t the right thing to say either. “But, I mean, it’s not like I’ve seen it because— Fuck. Never mind.” He admitted defeat and buried his face in his hands.

It took approximately three seconds for Richie to break the tension and burst out laughing.

“Jesus, Eds, how much have you had to drink?!”

Clearly, not enough.

After Eddie tried to drown himself in an ungodly amount of Kit Kats from Richie’s pocket, his resolve strengthened.

He would not fuck up anymore tonight! Richie was a bro-only zone. He was his best friend and roommate — nothing more! Richie + rules = success.

He wouldn’t laugh at his jokes. He wasn’t going to lean into his touches. He wasn’t going to smile at him like he hung the stars. He wasn’t going to—

It all went out the window when Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie’s middle and leaned into him.

“What the fuck, Richard?” His tone may have been harsher than he intended.

“I caught you,” he said, his voice muffled against his shoulder. “I threw a Poké Ball at you. You’re mine now. It’s the rules.”

“You already used the Poké Ball joke on me earlier, smart ass.”

Still, he made no move to push Richie off his shoulder. Maybe he could let rule number 3 slide. Just this once.

He couldn’t pull his gaze away from Richie’s face, either. He really loved him like this; soft, touchy, and carefree.

(Then again, he also loved the boy who earned the nickname Trashmouth, and picked fights he knew he couldn’t win, and swung bats at bullies.)

(He loved the fiery Richie, and the annoying Richie, and the stressed Richie, and the terrified Richie.)

(He loved his terrible sense of direction, and his late night dancing, and his ability to stub his toe on every piece of furniture they owned.)

(He loved him for his emotions, and for his heart, and yes even for his terrible jokes.)

(He loved Richie.)

(All of Richie.)

(Every Richie.)

Eddie’s jaw clenched and he shifted an inch away from Richie, his emotions suddenly hitting him so hard that it hurt.

The plan!!!! Remember the fucking plan!!!!!

“Like what you see?” Richie wiggled his eyebrows. “I know I’m pretty, but no need to stare, Eds.” Eddie jolted away from him and felt his heart lodge into his throat.

Richie caught him staring at him.

Fuck. Abort! Abort!

“Yeah, you’re pretty. Pretty fucking annoying.”

Richie grinned. “There he is! I was afraid my wittle dick scared you off.”

Eddie wanted to fade into the darkness.

“I thought we both agreed never to speak of that again.”

“I did no such thing.”

It happened again.

No, not the dick thing.

The ‘you’re a cute couple’ thing.

It was after the majority of the group went home, leaving Beverly, Ben, Richie, and Eddie to occupy a single couch. Why half the remaining group didn’t spread to the second couch was beyond him.

Someone he didn’t know slid into the couch opposite of them and launched into an in-depth conversation with Richie surrounding accuracy of historical events portrayed in some sort of video game.

Eddie couldn’t bring himself to even pretend to pay attention to what they were saying. All he could do was watch how Richie’s eyes lit up as he spoke, and how his lips would twist with each word, and how his nose wrinkled as he spoke, and how his gaze carried an intensity that made his heart pound, and—

“When did you two start dating?”

Eddie jolted away from Richie, putting as much space between them as possible (which, granted, wasn’t much considering they were trapped on this couch with Beverly and Ben).

“What?!” Eddie said quickly, his eyes wide and heart racing. “No. No, we’re not dating. We’re not together. Nope, no way.”

He never understood how his palms got so sweaty so quickly in these situations. He rubbed them on the yellow fabric along his legs vigorously.

“My sweet Eds,” Richie cooed as he leaned closer to him, his voice mockingly sweet.

Eddie wasn’t having it. He batted Richie’s face away from his own and scowled.

“No. We’re not dating.”

Richie pouted. “Is it because of my wittle dick—”

“I will punch you,” Eddie warned.

“But I wanna make you my luvah, Eds. My Eds Spagheds.” He turned to his friend. “Don’t listen to him, Johnathan. Eddie and I are very much together, confirmed by this awesome couples costume we are wearing.”

Eddie scowled and shoved Richie onto Beverly’s lap. “Fuck off, Richard.”

“I’m tellin’ it how it is! We’re two peas in a pod!”

The friend on the opposite couch gave them a wary smile. “Good, because, I mean, you two are practically dripping with sexual tension, and I was getting a little worried that I crossed a line and mentioned something I shouldn’t have, but I assumed it was fine because you’re wearing a couples costume for fuck sake, and—”

“No!” Eddie sat as straight as he could manage it. His heart was pounding in his chest. His cheeks felt like they were on fire. Because fuck you, Johnathan, you did mention something you shouldn’t have!!!! “Richie is fucking with you. We aren’t together, or lovers, or whatever other shit he said. We’re just friends. That’s all we are, all we have been, and all we ever will be.” To really drive home the point, he stuck his nose in the air. “Thank god! I mean, does anyone ever see me dating that!?”

Finally sticking to the plan! Eddie thought triumphantly. Now they really won’t think I’m into Richie. Ha! I wi— Wait, why the fuck is Richie running out of the room?

Richie had pushed off of the couch and took off towards the backdoor without another word. While Eddie couldn’t see his face, he knew exactly what he was feeling from a single glance at him. Tense body, shaking shoulders, uncharacteristically silent—

He was mad. Or upset. Or both.

“Wait, where’s Richie going?” He turned to Beverly, who was staring at him with parted lips. “What happened?”

“I love you, Eddie, but sometimes you’re such a dumbass.”

Eddie quickly ran through what he said moments before and immediately realized his mistake. In his rush to throw everyone off his scent, he insulted Richie.

“Oh, fuck.”

Eddie was quick to follow Richie outside. It was colder out now than before and the only light cast on the street came from a dimly lit street lamp. He caught sight of him across the street, already starting to make the journey back home.

Eddie wanted to hit his head against the nearest brick wall. He was an idiot.

“Richie!” he called, jogging after him. The other man didn’t turn when he called his name. Hell, he didn’t even flinch! Eddie pumped his legs faster. “Richie, wait up. Rich! Richie!” He finally caught up with him, but hovered a few paces away. “Where are you going? What happened?”

He very well knew what happened, but those were the first words out of his mouth.

“Not now, Eddie. I’m going home. I’ll talk to you later.” He didn’t turn to look at him.

Eddie was terrified — he doubted he had ever been more terrified than in that moment. Seeing Richie walking away from him, clearly hurt, scared him.

“Richie, I’m sorry.” He reached forward and caught hold of his elbow. Richie jolted it out of his grasp, making hurt flare up in Eddie’s chest. “I didn’t mean to insult you, I just—” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m sure anyone would love to date you.”

Just saying those words out loud made Eddie’s stomach role. Not anyone. Him. He wanted to be dating him.

Finally, Richie stopped walking. He spun around to face Eddie, his face screwed up with emotions. Eddie could see anger in there — it was the way his shoulders were hunched together and his fists closed at his sides — but he could see hurt too. Definitely hurt.

“Do you really think I’m upset because I thought you were implying I was undateable?” His voice was rough and thick with emotion. Eddie’s chest felt like it was going to cave in.

Richie was holding back tears.

“I— What? I mean… Of course? Why else are you upset about?”

Richie opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words followed. Eddie shifted back and forth on his feet, waiting for the shoe to drop.

Finally, he spoke. He sounded so tired and so done. “You know what? Never mind, Eddie. That’s why I’m upset. Of course I’m upset because I’m undateable! Not because of any other reason. You’re so right.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes. “I’m not stupid, Richard, and can smell your sarcasm.” That didn’t make the most sense, but neither one of them were in the mood to point that out. “I want to make up for what I said, but I can’t if you won’t tell me! If it isn’t because I insulted you, then… what? What’s wrong?”

“‘We’re just friends. That’s all we are, all we have been, and all we ever will be,’” Richie said, throwing Eddie’s earlier words right back in his face. Eddie had to suppress a flinch hearing them come from Richie’s mouth.

They hurt.

He swallowed thickly. “Well, it’s the truth, isn’t it? We’re… We’re just friends.”

Richie rubbed the bridge of his nose and tilted his head to glance at the night sky. After a long moment, he spoke. “I know. You love reminding me of that fact.” He sighed and locked eyes with Eddie. “It’s okay. I’m just being… me. Go back in and have fun.”

“You’re fucking kidding,” he said hotly. “I’m not leaving you when you’re clearly upset, and especially not for a Halloween party.” He stepped closer. “I care about you, Rich, and I want to help. I’m sorry that I upset you, and I really want to—”

“I love you.” The words froze Eddie to the ground. Richie’s eyes widened, like he, too, was surprised by them. “I— Fuck. Forget it.” He shook his head. “You know what? No! I said it. I mean it. I love you, Eddie. I’m in love with you. I love you so much that it hurts, and I know that’s ridiculous, but it’s true. And… And I get it, okay? I know you’re not interested. I know we’re just friends — you don’t need to remind me every five minutes, by the way, — but I’m so in love with you, Eddie. And—”

“Wait, hold the fuck up.” Eddie held his hand up, palm towards Richie. His fingers were shaking. He was sure his heart was about to give out from how fast it was racing. His mouth was inexplicably dry. “You— You love me?”

Richie’s eyes were wide. “Uhm… I— I—”

Eddie couldn’t tell anyone where the confidence came from, but he stepped forward, closing the distance between the two of them. The air left his lungs. He struggled to find the words, but he decided he didn’t really need words for this moment. And, finally—

He surged forward, capturing Richie’s lips with his own. The kiss was short and shallow — it was more of a brush of the lips than a kiss, if he was being honest — but it made his head spin.

Eddie pulled away, his eyes wide and his breath coming out in small pants. His hands were clutching at the collar of Richie’s blue and white shirt. His legs felt weak under him.

His eyes scanned Richie’s face, taking in the slight part to his lips, and the flush of his cheeks, and the wideness of his eyes. He was looking at Eddie in pure shock, and that was when he found his voice again.

“Richie, I love you, too.”

A long beat of silence passed between them before Richie’s head dipped down. Their lips connected for another kiss — this one much longer and sweeter than before. Richie’s hands cupped the side of Eddie’s face, cradling it gently. His ached from the amount of love and affection he had for the man in front of him.

The kiss stole all the air from Eddie’s lungs and all the thoughts from Eddie’s mind. When Richie pulled away, his lips were curled into a wide smile — a true, genuine smile that made his eyes crinkle and seemingly reached into Eddie’s chest and squeezed his heart.

He shook his head, his dark curls bobbing across his forehead. Richie gestured exuberantly towards the house they both ran from. “What the fuck was thaaaaaat!?”

Eddie stepped out of Richie’s grasp, his hands flying into his hair, panicking to hell. “Shit! I was trying to throw you off my trail! You know, like, try to be a dick to you so you don’t think I’m totally into you! Which I am, by the way — totally into you — like an embarrassing amount. And I just—”

“You, Eddie Kaspbrak, are a huge asshole and I love you for it.” Richie stepped forward wearing a silly grin. The hand that had been tenderly holding Eddie’s cheek booped Eddie on the nose.

“What the fuck, Rich?” He wrinkled his nose. Richie didn’t pay any mind to Eddie’s reaction — he pulled the shorter man into a crushing hug and rested his head on top of his.

“I caught you, Eds. You’re my lil’ Pikachu.”

Eddie scowled. “You’re a loser. I’m in love with a loser.”

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

#reddie #reddie library #halloween event 2019 #pawprinterfanfic

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

Note

let's get those Multiples Of Four for the lihn asks

Thank Yoy here i gooo

4) Favorite exchange(s)?

i like the conversation when sheila stays behind with susannah while the latter gets changed into the uniform skirt or whichever costume piece lol and susannah is clearly like trying to Fit In as she would with the girls as a whole group re: just sheila but that's not really what sheila herself is about so it's not going anywhere at first. it was very funny when judith just smacks susannah's lunch tray straight down onto the floor rip. and of course i love kitty Addressing susannah leading into masochist

8) Favorite costume(s)?

hmm not great at noticing these details (especially the first time around and in non-hq footage lol) but i Did notice (and appreciate) how all the characters were costumed quite differently in a very Personal Style sort of way, v helpful to characterize them each and help distinguish them earlier on. i did like susannah's costumes a lot with the yellow / purple and patterns and vests and carefully styled hair and her post-timeskip look was fantastic as well

12) Favorite background moment(s)?

again i was pretty focused on the foreground stuff really lol and i don't really remember anything where i was noticing something happening only in the background. but a more Literal background moment, i too really enjoyed the silhouettes of the girls striking poses being projected onto the bg behind susannah at the beginning of the show, very effective and Dramatic

16) Underrated moment(s) in the show?

i don't think i have a real answer re: what's Underrated mostly b/c i've already seen so much good analysis & appreciation from people about pretty much everything........so a vaguely tangential answer is about wishing it was just a Little more evident that Kitty And Dorothy Have Their Own Thing Going On, which like, yeah maybe it's easier to tell in person watching the show, but......and i Do like that kitty's connection to susannah is so clearly more general than their Relationships (or potential ones / wanting one) b/c of course susannah's dilemma around goes beyond Just the particular forbidden romance with this particular person

i also found judith's character like, nonzero engaging, which is just like i hadn't heard much about her prior i don't think. not as though she's at all Likeable in the sense of like if you were in the show you would not like this character who is both a bully and a narc but it's still like, good for her eventually realizing the error of her ways even if it'd've been good to realize it Before miss asp made it clear she was only ever intending to use judith, and like, maybe if your snitching on a girl had indirectly led to her death you'd stop narcing on everyone instead of just setting up the same situation again. but at least she comes around and threatens francis and even her awfulness can be funnier than the awfulness of other characters who are being awful

20) Headcanon(s) for what happens before the show?

oof that's tricky since so much stuff in the show is unveiling ppl's Backstory / what's happened prior.....idk i was gonna say i wonder how kitty got makeup kits into nation but maybe they're allowed / it's allowed for her b/c her parents are paying so much. not very exciting

24) The Other One or Oh Well?

did have to confirm which one The Other One is but i guess that one lmfao i just have a great time with sheila going off on those verses and it's fun how it's this playful song about them bonding over being rejected.....the "and i guess i don't know how to feel about it" delivery is v funny. much respect and appreciation for Oh Well though of course

28) Something you like/have noticed about the show that you haven’t seen anyone else mention yet?

i'm not sure there Was much that i noticed that i hadn't heard about prior......tbh i think there were just a few Plot Points i hadn't already heard discussed but they weren't exactly Fun ones so i was like hm yeah i can see why ppl wouldn't necessarily specifically address this for kicks

32) If only one could happen, would you prefer a cast recording or an Off-Broadway run?

i agree w/ p much everyone, gotta love the increased availability of a cast recording.....will be around for more than a few weeks, will cost less to obtain the experience, and around here Who Knows what cast recordings will spark. love how plausible it is that lihn Will get a cast recording, here's hoping

36) Favorite song(s) off the Hits of Nation/character playlists?

seeing as i forgot these playlists exist, f, and i have never heard music i just checked for which songs i know i know off the top of my head lol. s/o to each of the girls having iko iko by the dixie cups on their playlists, guess that's some required listening

[susannah: l.e.s. artistes by santigold], [rat: one way or another by blondie, i got a rocket in my pocket by jimmie lloyd (which i've only partially heard b/c it plays in the bg of a The Iron Giant scene lmao so this only counts like 1/3 of the way)] [kitty: diamonds are a girl's best friend by marilyn monroe, la vie en rose by edith piaf, anthems for a seventeen year old girl by broken social scene] [ya-ya: sugar sugar by the archies] [miss asp: i THINK i've heard "straighten up and fly right" and "if i knew you were comin i'd've baked a cake" but i don't especially wanna look them up and confirm lmao. know "i'm proud to be an american" and "god bless the usa" lol ew. "comfortably numb" by pink floyd and "whatever will be will be" by doris day et al and "my heart will go on" by celine dion] [first of all interesting that francis and buzz share a playlist but i guess really all of the roles by The Guy are pretty functionally similar lol. accentuate the positive by perry cuomo, blowin in the wind by bob dylan, i Think i've heard hang on to your ego by the beach boys but i think i forget how it goes]

40) What does LIHN mean to you?

hmm well classic iconis content around here with the shows celebrating misfit weirdos and him always trying to write a show about people who usually wouldn't get a show written about them and creating this material for an all-girl show with only one token The Guy and the Lead specifically being a black girl and there being a specifically trans role as well.....love how much people have been enjoying it even as it took me ages to get around to Consuming it myself, and it's been v cool for it to be so like, here's Totally New Material. even prior to me having actually seen it, it was also definitely nice to have This in the wake of august to interrupt the [lying facedown], and again it was fun to even secondhand have ppl having a great time w/ the show and getting to appreciate the Content and Analysis happening hell yea

44) Favorite non show/cabaret performance of a song?

oop i might've only seen the non-show video for "oh well" so guess it wins! fine by me

48) Favorite time Francis was wrong?

it's pretty classic / all-encompassing when he very strongly implies that susannah has no choice but to marry him / no Hope for her Future otherwise

#lihn #nothingunrealistic1

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itsbuckysworld · 5 years

Text

HELLO SPRING DAY 8 + Bingo Entry: The Gift of Being Together.

Pairing: Dad!Bucky x Reader Warnings: just a fluff avalanche! (huh, that’s theme appropriate) Category: AU! Everything’s ok, avengers don’t exist, they just a big family <3 Word Count: 3.3K Bingo Square Filled: Opening the wrong present for my @star-spangled-bingo card! Guest Appearance: Steef, Tony, Sam, Clint, Nat, Thor and their kids. PARENT AVENGERS!!!

u can blame @all1e23 for putting all the dad!bucky feels back in my mind which pushed me to finish this for today cause i was going to put it off until tomorrow. (i hope you) ENJOY!

Day 8: Hiding in the closet, he/she found... for my Spring Short Story Writing Event + Bingo Square for my #StarSpangledBingo Card.

The TV was on downstairs, as she slid her socked feet across the carpet, Mr. Louie dragging behind her by her hand, on the way to the hallway closet. Her hands reached up and out to open the door that softly creaked and swung outwards. The lightswitch was almost impossible to reach, but using the help of a couple strewn shoe boxes, her fingers snapped the light on, as one of her feet reached out, some boxes stumbling down to the carpet. Looking up, she saw it. Hiding in the closet, she found it, just a tiny edge of a square, wrapped in a pretty pink paper with white polka dots resembling snowflakes.

Almost in slow motion, her eyes widened, brown curls that adorned her face falling back as she arched her neck more and more to try and get a better glimpse and see if there was anything else there as well. Mr. Louie laying on the carpet long forgotten as she made grabby hands starting to reach up.

“Hey” the voice startled her, as she turned her head around in a flash, finding the tall figure approaching from the end of the stairs. “What are you doing up missy? And what are you doing searching in the closet?” Bucky kneeled down next to her, picking up the fallen boxes, a small amount of panic in his voice as he saw his daughter snooping in the closet, perched on very unstable boxes, the sight of the messy closet, brooms, leftover wood from last year’s renovations, buckets of paint, anything that cluttered the storage, everything completely unsafe for a 6 year old.

“You can’t do that, you could get hurt, Bex” He scooped her up in his arms, and Mr. Louie the plush toy, closing the closet door in a swift motion as his daughter's eyes started to water.

“I’m sorry daddy, I was just looking for my christmas presents” Bucky stood there, shellshocked. What?

“Aw, bean, Santa will bring those Christmas morning, still a week away” the little girl in his arms shook her head furiously, tears threatening to spill as he entered her room. The mess of toys scattered on the ground reminded him he needed to do some serious cleaning. She was too old for some of them and would get new ones come Christmas either way. “No! No he won’t! He’s not real” the little girl’s arms crossed over her chest dramatically. “What do you mean he’s not real?” Bucky wiped her cheeks softly, not wanting to see any tears anymore. “Jessica told me that her brother told her that Santa isn’t real, and that parents buy gifts and hide them in the closet” her pronunciation of the s’s a little slurred due to her missing front tooth. “What? No way!” Bucky overly acted as he sat down on her tiny princess bed, tucking her back in “Santa is so real! Did I tell you I saw him delivering my presents when I was your age?” Little Becca’s eyes lit up. “Really?” Bucky nodded. “I did, and he told me to go back bed and continue being a nice kid, or else his magic didn’t work” “Woah” she giggled, clapping her hands excitedly. No way, her daddy had met Santa? Jessica would never believe her! “What about the pink present I saw in the closet?” once more Becca crossed her arms and pouted prettily. It almost turned Bucky to mush, as it usually did. She was too precious for words.

“You have to promise not to tell anyone, but that’s a present I got for Y/N” another gasp of surprised escaped his daughters mouth and he pressed his finger to his lips, shushing her and reminding her it’s a secret. More giggles and tiny claps followed the exchange. “Now, go to sleep, and keep being such a cutie” he tickled her tummy softly, earning the cutest of laughters, before shuffling her pillow and re-tucking her in “and I promise you, Santa’s magic will work and he’ll deliver presents all over the world” “Ok! I promise” and she closed her eyes shut so tightly, as if commanding herself to sleep right that second, it was comical. “Night, bean” there was a kiss pressed to her forehead and Bucky was gone, leaving the door slightly ajar and the nightlight on.

“Everything ok?” Bucky sighed, tired yet relieved at the same time, as he plopped on one end of the couch back where he was before the sound of boxes falling upstairs had caught his attention. His arm immediately returning to its position over the back of the couch and around your shoulders as you cuddled back up to his side, chin pressed to his chest, looking up at him. His blue eyes looked at you, dancing over your relaxed features, the tips of his fingers drawing random shapes on your side.

“Yeah, snooping around for presents. That Jessica girl in her class had put it in her head that Santa’s not real” you gasped, faking great shock “Oh no” and Bucky let out a huff as if saying ‘outrageous, i know’. Your soft hand came up, caressing the hair at the nape of his neck. “Jeez, Rumlow should really pay attention to what he says around his kids” his head dropped back, exhausted already. “Yeah, and that Jessica is turning out to be a real mean girl, too” “Tell me about it” his eyes rolled quickly and then the two of you fell into a silent and short fit of laughter. He pressed quick kisses to your lips as he spoke next. “Told her the pink box in the closet is a gift for you, now i need to get you a gift” you pulled away, faking offense and giving him a comical glare “So you haven’t gotten me anything yet” “You know I did, now I gotta get you something else and wrap it in pink” you giggled, lips moving over his due to the proximity, causing him to smile “and I also have to lock the closet, keep her nosey-nose out”

The two of you pulled away, readjusting on the couch to return to the movie that was currently paused on the screen “I could take the presents to my place” you proposed casually, before he pressed play and he stopped in his tracks, looking at you with a look you couldn’t decipher, as if he was analyzing you, but looking past you at the same time, deep in thought. “Bring them back, say, late christmas eve? Arrange them while she sleeps.”

His lack of an answer made you sit up, turning to look at him. He was just sitting there looking at the TV remote with a fond yet distant look. “Babe?” a soft murmur that snapped him out of his trance, shaking his head and glancing back at you with a smile on his features. “That sound ok?” “Y-yeah, yeah” he rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat. “Come pick them up tomorrow while she’s at Nat’s?” you nodded eagerly, giving him another soft peck as you returned to cuddling and paying attention to the movie that Bucky couldn’t focus on anymore.

Huh… An idea.

“Merry Christmas!” Steve said opening the front door and in came tumbling the Rogers-Stark pack. Three rascals running in, a present in each hand as Steve carried three more and Tony brought in the eggnog, trailing right behind his husband. “Merry Christmas, punk” Bucky answered, trying his best to reach his best friend despite the attack on his legs that were his nephews and niece clinging to uncle Bucky and laughing.

You emerged from the kitchen, drying your hands with a towel, reindeer antlers perched up on your head and followed by Natasha that had already poured herself a glass of white wine. “Merry Christmas Steve, Merry Christmas Tony” you said and they walked over, both of them pressing a kiss to each of your cheeks at the same time, the surprise of their attack making you stumble back a little. “Mistletoe!” Tony claimed, unfurling his scarf from his neck and you rolled your eyes, remembering you had placed it there last night. As if on cue, Steve grabbed Bucky’s shoulders and pressed an equally wet and loud kiss on his cheek. “Ew” “You love me, idiot” Bucky shrugged at this, because it was true.

The kids dispersed, all gathering under the tree and opening gifts with Becca. It was tradition that every Christmas the gang would have a brunch at a different house. This year it was Bucky’s place, and as per rules, the kids all had to bring some of their gifts to open at the host’s house all together, and the host kid had to wait to open presents with the cousins. It was a lovely tradition, one that you had been part of twice. Last year when you and Bucky had been dating for a little over three months – he was afraid you’d run for the hills at the craziness that was this family of his, but you’d had the time of your life with his friends and their lovely kids – and now this year, when it was Bucky’s turn to host, but everyone called it Bucky and Y/N’s turn to host. The Barneses. God, did Bucky like the sound of that.

It was Morgan, Stephen Jr. and Simon, the Rogers-Stark kids; Lana, Nat and Clint’s eldest, little baby Archie still too tiny to even understand what was happening; Troy, Thor and Jane’s only child; and then Uncle Sam, who didn’t have kids yet but was a big baby himself, who sat and opened presents with all his nieces and nephews wearing the goofiest elf costume ever. No one could deny he was the favourite uncle most of the time.

In the middle of all the commotion, the Christmas music, the mess of wrappers and silly photo taking, Bucky had grabbed your hand, pulling you away from the kitchen where you had just placed a cake in the oven so that come the afternoon the kids could decorate it. His lips found yours almost desperately, leaving you breathless as you tried to reciprocate had the huge smile on your face allowed you to kiss him just as hard. Sam whistled, making the two of you separate. Bucky shrugged, laughter bubbling in his chest and pointing at the cheeky mistletoe he’d placed by the living room.

He picked up a rectangular box, wrapped in familiar pink paper with white polka dots and you remembered the gift Becca had seen last week, rolling your eyes but not able to keep the snicker that bubbled up from inside you. Of course he’d gotten you that extra present. Extra because he had gotten you other presents, as you had him, and there was the promise of a Becca free night – that was Sam’s present to every couple in the room: he’d take the kids for a Christmas play and then sleepover at his house, leaving the grown ups with a night for them – not that you didn’t absolutely love Becca, but Bucky had made it abundantly clear earlier just how good he was going to treat you tonight, causing you to shiver in anticipation.

He nervously placed the pink gift in your hands with fidgety fingers and a hop in his stance. Soon he was scratching at his slight stubble – you said you liked his beard when you’d seen his college photos and he’s promised to grow one out again ever since – a sign of clear nervousness that had you arching your eyebrows in confusion.

He opened his mouth to start whatever speech accompanied the present, but was interrupted by a tug on his pants, Becca wanting him to see the cool science set Santa had left over at uncle Tony’s house.

He admired it with her, exclaiming a long ‘wow’ every time she pointed something cool the box showed and he read most of it with the typical amazed voice – “More than 30 experiments to do at home? That’s so crazy!” “Wow bean, look at that!” and “Did you say thank you to Uncle Tony for bringing it?” –

Standing back up and walking the few steps back to you felt like facing his judgement day. Specially when you still had a confused look on your face. “So…” “Gotta say” you started “really nice but, not for me” His heart dropped to his knees. Fuck, was this it? How was he going to recover from you rejecting his – friendship bracelet set? He stared at the box you put up for him to see with confusion. “Oh my–” he facepalmed himself when realization struck. That was Becca’s pink wrapped present. “My bad, my bad” “Hey, if you want to make bracelets we can, I mean” “Shush, shush, woman” you laughed, mocking him as he trotted over to the pile of gifts by the tree, picking up the correct present, a dumb grin on his face that was still laced with some jittery nerves. “This one” the new pink box was placed on your hands and you couldn’t stop giggling as you teared at the paper.

Inside you found a gorgeous key fob, the different blue patterns contrasting the pink of the starfishes as it all came together for a very beachy, tropical design, and attached was already a set of two keys. You looked at Bucky with a happy yet confused grin. “Moveinwithme” was all the he said in, words almost crashing together with how fast he let it all out along with a huff of a breath he had been holding in. “What?” “I know! I know… I know I said we-we should take it slow, f-for Becca’s sake, and mine too, I know what- what I said a year ago, and I have not dated in… wow so long, until you and maybe this is too fast? Or, or, or maybe not, but I just…–” “Buck…” “– I just thought that this was the next step and I’m ready for it and I hope you agree with me and are okay with this too and if not then that’s ok! We-we, I can forget about this, never happened, just please, please... don’t leave? It’s –” “Bucky” “It’s just, the other day!… Uh, wow, the other day you offered to keep the presents at your place and, and it shocked me, okay? Because this… this is your place too, you know? You’re… you’re my place.–” “James” his hands come up almost holding your shoulders. “I mean! I mean in my mind you’re here, like when I come home from work or from picking up Bex, I’m wishing you were there, you know? And you’re already here so much too and it’s great, perfect even, and Becca! Oh gosh Becca adores you and so do I, and, and, am I rambling too much? Am I, did-did I overstep? Becaus–” you stop his rambling closing the gap between you, key chain pressed between your chests and your other hand on his neck, keeping him in place as you kiss him so deeply, ecstatic, filled with love. His hands find a resting spot on your waist and lower back, as the tension on his shoulders vanishes and he sighs a sigh of relief out his nose, melting into your touch and kissing you like you’re his only source of life, the chatter and celebration fading in the distance, he’s just kissing you, that’s all he is right now.

There’s some slight hollering and hooting from his friends that slowly snaps the two of you out of the bubble and a high pitched shriek that he recognizes is from Becca as she runs all the way from the other end of the living room, squeezing between your legs as she jumps up and down excitedly. “YAY! Daddy did you ask Y/N to marry you? Is she going to be my mommy?!”

Bucky chokes and coughs, eyes bulging out of his sockets, your hand covering your mouth as you try to conceal a shocked laughter attack. Clint is close by, ready to save the day. “Okay! Children, let’s go outside, help auntie Nat set the table for food yeah?” he’s guiding little Becca by her shoulders, him and Nat filing all the kids out of the house and to the backyard, the adults walking right behind them but at a slower pace, trying to catch whatever conversation will go down between Bucky who can’t be any redder and you. Bunch of gossips they are.

“Uh, oh God, I’m not… I mean” all you do is nod, understanding him completely, and he can read it in your eyes that you do, which immediately helps him breathe “phew, I mean… kids, huh?”

You can tell he’s still feeling incredibly awkward and exposed, but you can comfort him better than no one else. Inching closer, lips barely touching his, hand returning to his neck in a sweet and seductive manner, you whisper “I’d marry you in a heartbeat” before pressing another short kiss to his hot mouth. “Hmm, really?” all you do is nod, biting your lip, another soft kiss. “I love you” “Hmm” he agrees unable to stop kissing you, softly, sensually, with everything in him. When he does, his lips are still hot and red and brushing against yours “I love you”

Soft I love you’s keep being shared between short kisses. A clear of someone’s throat breaks the moment apart, it’s Steve, leaning on the entrance to the kitchen

“Sorry to interrupt... something’s burning?” he points to the kitchen and you let out a quick oops! remembering the baked pasta you’d started long ago. Your hands are placed on Bucky’s chest. “Right! There’s a brunch to host” another quick peck is pressed to his lips and you’re hurrying towards the kitchen. “And a move in to plan! Congrats” Steve says to the both of you, cheeks coming aflame before you enter the kitchen, not before dropping the key chain, still in its box, inside your purse. Steve’s hand claps on his best friend’s back, inciting another deep breath of relief from him. “Gotta admit, thought you’d be asking her to marry you” the two men began a slow trek to the backyard, the closer they got the more hushed their conversation got. A nervous chuckle escapes Bucky “I wanted- want to. Then I thought I was going too fast…” “Uh-huh, so we’re acting like you haven’t spent the last month looking at rings during your free time at work?” Bucky rolls his eyes and Steve’s laughter is booming “Just saying, so I know how to act, you know?”

Steve is right, Bucky’s plans were different, but at the mention of you calling your apartment your place, he thought maybe this step wasn’t that big, it wouldn’t scare you off – It didn’t terrify him as much. The thought of you saying no? Leaving? A nightmare. He had a kid to look after, and he wasn’t going to do a good job at that with his heart completely shattered if you left. Plus, Becca? she already loved you, what would he do without you? –

But now he knows you’re not going to be scared off so easily. He wanted to take it slow when he’d first met you, and you had complied, going along at his pace, and now? Now all he wanted was everything, but with you. His smile almost split his face in half when he spotted you, plating food for Becca and sitting her on your lap to help her eat. You were everything he was looking for, so why was he going so damn slow? “Do yourself a favour and ask her already” “Soon, Steve… Soon” Bucky took his rightful place next to you and Becca, his family.

I WENT HAM! Had this idea a few days back and remembered my bingo card so i decided to go for it and Allie already put me in a dad mood so i knew i just had to finish this and post it for my own sake cause oh my god. I’m desperate for dad Bucky right now, like im in a parental mood and it can’t be stopped.

feedback is greatly appreciated and encouraged.

#starspangledbingo #IBW: Hello Spring 2019 #ibwhellospringday8 #bucky barnes x reader #dad!Bucky #au #fluff #bucky with kids

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theemmataylor · 7 years

Text

Austentacious || Emma and Deadpool

I will forever be in love with this regency storyline, and the stories we create together. Wade is the best. So is Marcus. And I’m excited for them to actually find some adventures together. This is likely part one of six-ish. -- @violent-nobility

"We're losing her!"

"Damn it, Doctor Pool!"

"But just look at all this--"

"There's no time for that!"

"Forceps!"

"What?"

"I don't know they just always say forceps in surgery things and--"

"Who are you?"

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER NOW! Hurry! Quick! She's... what the fuck?! What's that light? Is that -- is her brain -- is it GLOWING?! Jesus what the fuck is -- NO!!! OH GO!"

"What do we do, Doctor?!"

"Get back!! Everyone -- except me -- get baaaaaaaaaaaaack!"

In hindsight, maybe pretending to be a surgeon had been a bad idea. Of course, Wade had thought that he was going to be operating on a particular bag of dicks named Emmanuel Taylor, but apparently, would you believe it? The surgery schedule was a little more confusing to read than that. Mister Terrorist Pants was going to walk free, but the pretty girl with the apparently exploding brain was fucked.

Really. Fucked. Completely fucked. He knew that the second he saw her. Of course, it helped that Lady Death had been standing over his shoulder and was whispering things to him, like how the girl was already almost in her embrace, what he should do to make it quicker and ease the pain that she was feeling even while unconscious -- which was sort of creepy, really. Not the almost-dead girl, but Lady Death. Ever since they'd banged, she'd been spending a lot of time with him, and he didn't know how to tell her hey, babe, you were great but it was a one time thing, I'm not Thanos--

Who, speaking of Thanos, that douche just had to show up. Jealous ex. Ew. He'd apparently been Captain Invisible to everyone else, he'd reached out and put his hand on the girl's head, and he'd smiled one of his terrifying terror smiles while doing some kind of magical magic, her brain had started glowing, and Wade had gotten hooked on a feeling -- wait, no. He'd gotten the feeling that oops. Thanos was a dick.

Not that that would surprise anyone.

Petty piece of shit.

Petty purple piece of shit.

That could be a song.

No.

But there was light and brains and then a really weird feeling of falling and then -- bang, look, there they were. The room was beautiful, a kind of cheesy looking Victorian gig or whatever. Maybe earlier than Victorian. Maybe even Jane Austen times. Whenever those were. 1812? Nah that was a war. Austen was definitely 1050. Maybe. No. That. Whatever.

The bedroom was nice. The furniture was nice. The beautiful girl laying on the floor next to him was nice -- oh it was brain girl! But without the exploding head. She looked great, actually. Wow. Who knew she was a hottie? Fuck Emmanuel. She was wearing some kind of anachronistic costume, a dress like this was Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, and aw, look, boobies!

No.

No boobies. She was asleep, he shouldn't look at her boobies.

Ugh. His head ached. He sat up --

"Shit!" No costume! No costume, which meant icky gross skin all over the place, rotten ballsack sores out for the world to see. Wade sprang to his feet and ran to look in the mirror, but -- "What the shit? I'm hot? I'm hot. Oh, shit. I'm hot again. Damn. Nice. Okay. Yeah. Wait. Stop talking to yourself. What? Myself. Stop. Talking to myself. Focus."

He whirled around to look at the chick again and was pretty sure that this ridiculous suit he was wearing -- and damn these were some crazy boots -- probably would go for a small fortune if they could just get to a city full of Austen nerds.

"Hey, hey, hey." He crouched down next to her. The house was buzzing with noise, people talking about some sort of ball, apparently some noble or whatever had moved into the beautiful estate next door -- however far away that was -- and that meant someone might come in here and fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Thanos anyway.

"Hey, hot stuff?" Wade shook her gently. "We gotta go. Come on. Get up. Thanos sent us here, which means bad, which means -- god you look nice in that dress. Uh, we gotta. Can you hear me? They're talking about balls out there."

The last complete memory she had was sitting in a car with Cecelia, waiting outside her brother's apartment, preparing herself to suck it up and talk to him about all the crap that had gone down between them. She didn't want to die alone. And it wasn't fair that he was asking her to.

He'd exited, looked across the road, noticed the familiar car and locked eyes with Emma. Then...

She noticed the ringing in her ears before the literal blinding pain had begun. Her ears had been the first thing to start bleeding. Before her nose, even, and Cecelia had wasted no time in taking off in the direction of the hospital.

Everything else had been a series of flashes of faces she didn't recognize, half of them not even looking at her, and pain. She felt pain even when the faces stopped.

When she started hearing voices, Emma relaxed into the knowledge that this was it. She would die alone, without her brother. Without a family. Just Cecelia. Which, in all honesty, was all she really needed. One best friend. She could die happy knowing she had at least that.

Emma could feel the lure of death -- the promise of no more pain, of any kind, and warmth, and all the Jane Austen she could stand.

It seemed perfect.

The background screaming and yelling she didn't really understand. Glowing brains? Who knew what the subconscious held on to. All she knew was she was ready for a time where the headaches ceased. Where the heartaches were no more.

She was ready for death.

And finally.

Silence.

When she came to, she was far more uncomfortable than she'd expected to be -- something was bound far too tightly around her rib cage.

And then. She heard his voice. Crazy and frantic and slightly insane. Emma opened her eyes, wincing, expecting the stream of sunlight to ignite a migraine. But it didn't. It warmed her.

She looked down at herself, dressed in full Austen-esque attire.

"So this is death," she replied up at the handsome man with the slightly troubled eyes. "But who are you?"

"Um, I don't think this is death, actually. I think we just got booted away from your death by this guy, this really awful guy, he's mad at me for banging Death, but heeeey. Wait. I mean, I'm Wade." He put on his best smile and hoped that it was comforting and good, then picked her up and set her on her feet.

"Your hair looks so much better when it's not shaved off. But listen, we should probably go and hide because there's this evil space alien who--" he made a face. "I don't know why I said space alien. Alien suffices. Wait, no, that sounds xenophobic, doesn't it? So there's an evil almost omnipotent space alien with a grudge and he is probably going to find us here and we really should just run, you know? Yeah. Running would be good. We've got to go find a car, and.."

That was when a knock came on the door and a maid entered. She smiled and bobbed a pretty curtsey. "Lady Taylor? Lord Wilson? A message just arrived from your parents, if you please." She handed them the card, which Wade took with a look of dismay. He opened it up -- and was devastated.

"They're staying in London, they don't care for the country weather, but they wish us luck? Why do our fake--- faaaa-- faaaaaantastic! Parents! Not want to be with us? That's -- you know what, beautiful maid girl? You should probably go -- um -- do -- things -- that would be helpful. Helpful things. We still need to talk." He tried not to shove her out the door, but basically shoved her out the door, then turned to Emma, held up the card, and both hands, took a moment to compose his thoughts into some sort of gentlemanly order, and said: "Shit. We're fucked."

Emma smiled. She'd didn't much care what the man said. This was death. Or at least, this was all she could hope for death to be. And maybe this guy wasn't the man of her dreams. But he was handsome enough. And he seemed... insane really, he seemed insane. But the fun kind of insane?

"I... would like to stay in the country, Lord Wilson," she said simply, moving over to a mirror attached to a vanity, sitting in a straight backed chair. "You may do as you wish. And despite what you've said... whether this is a dream while I'm in a coma, or death, or real life. This... is kind of... well, you'll think me weird, or a child, or whatever, but this is my perfect fantasy."

Emma's fingers carded through the ends of her hair. She could still hear the clippers from when they'd shaved her head. This was the dream. She knew that.

"You won't find a car. Perhaps a horse and carriage. But that's it. And besides. We're not making it to America any time soon. And if we do, chances are it'll be on the Titanic and I'll end up drowning in the Atlantic. Though, considering the time I think we are in, that won't be for another hundred or so years."

Finally, she looked again to Wade. "My name is Emma. And while I appreciate you being concerned about my well-being. I'm not leaving this place."

"Okay, Emma, but you're crazy, I mean, you're probably crazy. This place... you know it's not death, right? No, you don't know, whatever, I get that. I don't know what happened to you, maybe you got kicked in the head by a horse or whatever, but I know what dying feels like and I know that really..." Footsteps in the hall made him tense up and go quiet, but whoever it was kept on walking. "...uh, really trippy feeling of acceptance -- you know, that moment you realize this is it, and it's the worst thing but it's the best thing and it's not as bad as you thought it was going to be even though it hurts so much more and -- wait. Shit. Maybe we're both dead."

That made sense. No. It didn't. Because Francis. But....

Maybe.

"Okay. Whatever. We're siblings, I guess? And I'm not leaving you. Unless we're married. We're not married. Maybe you're married? I hope I'm not married. I'm not good at being married. Unless it's to Sebastian. Who you don't know. And technically I don't either, that didn't happen in this thread. But really, there are probably a bunch of monsters or -- something equally bad coming after us, and while I am all about fighting monsters, it's, I mean, it's sort of a kink, you don't seem too monster fighty? Also can I just..." He stepped over and started helping her with her hair. "I mean if we're gonna stick around, we should probably go help them play with their balls, maybe we'll find out who we're supposed to -- oh yeah, reading comprehension, here." He gave her the letter. "They think you're going to find a husband here. Balls. At the ball." The merc might have a mouth, but at least his hands were talented, and they certainly helped undo the damage that laying on the floor had done to her hair. "That's what the good luck is about. Apparently we need to get married. To other people. Which. I mean. You're plenty hot, and hello cute little tatas -- sorry, sibling line crossed -- but basically, you're way too chill."

Emma watched in silent. "But we have different names? And divorce isn't really a thing yet. So unless both our parents are..." She grew quiet. Even in this world, at least one of her parents were dead. And her real brother was still nowhere to be seen.

"I'm not your type. That's okay. Your handsome enough. But I still haven't decided whether you're crazy or not." The young woman closed her eyes as he fixed her hair and thought about all Wade's concerns.

"I don't want to get married. But I'd like to stay for a while, at least. This is a dream for me. And even if some monster comes, I'm pretty good at surviving, for the most part."

"Somebody's writing us a really sad story. Wow. It's probably Shiv. Fuck Shiv. But Emma, this isn't a -- okay. You know what? You like it here?" He finished fixing her hair, rested his hands on her shoulders, and met her eyes in the mirror. "I'll stay, too. If monsters come, I'll keep them off of you. If this is your dream come true, if this is what you want, then... embrace it and love it and I'll keep you safe. The way a brother should." He leaned down and kissed her cheek, trying to be calm, trying not to look too worried. "And how do you know you're not my type? Maybe I'm into angels."

"I'm assuming Sebastian is male? Not to say you can't be into both. But... I certainly don't think I'm a permanent type for you." She hadn't expected the sudden shift. The kindness and kiss. She lifted a hand to touch her cheek where the quick kiss had been left.

She'd expected to be abandoned. She always expected that.

"I... would like one day. One day to pretend that my life wasn't... so lonely. Then we can go do whatever it is you think we need to do. First thing in the morning tomorrow. We can go in search of whatever truth you believe is out there, if you'll let me live my truth tonight."

She wouldn't meet her Darcy, of course. But the dancing and elegance and romance of this time was enough. It was enough.

"Okay. So we go to the ball and live out the Regency -- it is Regency, right? -- fantasy. You dance and flirt and smile and meet all of the eyes with secrets that you may never know and they'll never know yours and -- he is male, he's perfect, he's so calm -- you live this dream til dawn. And maybe it ends then. Maybe it doesn't. I'll go and try to listen around, see what's happening, look for any signs that we're actually as fucked as my panicky nature made me think I thought we were, and... it'll be fun. Dancing. Pretty people with boobies and other pretty people with these nice tight pants." He patted his thigh, then stepped away. "Sound like a plan?"

"Will you dance with me tonight?" She asked suddenly. "Maybe that's too forward of me, considering the time we're in. And maybe it would seem strange if we dance as siblings. Unless... we're supposed to be cousins? In which case..." she blushed.

"In which case people here will half expect us to be courting."

"Cousins? Really? I mean yeah, of course I'll dance with you, hollaaaa, but -- wow. Huh. That's. Huh. But dance with other people too, okay? Don't hide from the dream that you've chosen, not now that it's here, okay?"

"Yeah. It's fairly common to marry ones cousin in these times." But she wasn't suggesting they marry. Or even kiss. But... he already felt familiar. She trusted him. And to dance her first dance with someone she knew in these strange circumstances felt the most reassuring.

"Do we... go downstairs? Or would you like to tell me more about PERFECT Sebastian?"

"I guess? Maybe?" He went and looked out the window -- and his eyes got huge. "Holy shit." The landscape was stunning. Nevermind that it was raining and cloudy, but the grass seemed to stretch on for miles, interrupted by the curving lines of a stream, the shadowy shapes of a hedge maze, a manicured garden. "Uh.. perfect.. Sebastian.... isn't... I think we're in England, this is seriously so English, like how I imagine it in romance novels, but... he's not here right now."

Turning around, he met her eyes, smiled, then went to grab the jacket that looked like it was definitely his. "He's a sniper. An assassin. He's chill and smart and you really can't shake him. I guess I look up to him." The jacket felt like it was tailor made. Weird. "And I mean, I guess there are worse people to look up to.

"So. Shall we go and see where the big ball is? Also, if you happen to snare a super hottie, share him, okay?"

"I should say the same to you," Emma stood, smiling, relaxing into this death. She moved across the room, standing near him at the window, looking at the landscape. It really was beautiful.

"I told you we wouldn't be getting to America any time soon." Emma stretched, her chest and stomach pressing against him so that she could return the kiss to his cheek.

"Let's get downstairs so that we can figure out the details of the balls of this place. Maybe you're wrong. Maybe your Sebastian is here somewhere. Maybe you are the one who is meant to find love in this world."

"Nah. I kinda sorta already had my chance. And I fucked it up. Big time." He shrugged and smiled, then went over to open the door for her, trying not to think about how sweet and soft she had felt when she kissed him. Nope. Definitely don't think about the maybe-cousin, maybe-sister.

"For the record," Emma said quietly back to him as the reached the top of the grand stairway. "I've never known of someone only giving one chance. If you show someone that you really want them, you'll have them."

Emma took Wade's arm and descended the stairs, leaning in to whisper where nobody would hear. "What I'm saying, is that I bet you didn't 'fuck it up' nearly as much as you suspect."

"You are the sweetest little bug," he whispered back -- but then the time for whispering was over as they walked into old fashioned costume porn. The clothes were amazing and the people were all over and there was music and a shit ton of lights and Wade kind of wanted to go find a closet to jerk off in just to prove that all of this was real, but they were supposed to dance together, so that would have to wait.

A couple of people smiled and greeted them, apparently familiar with them, and Wade felt a little rush of giddiness. This would be a fun guessing game! Maybe. Unless it wasn't.

The dancing had not yet begun, and people were still arriving -- including the extremely handsome young Duke of Devonshire, who made Deadpool quietly squeak into her ear. "He looks just like Henry Cavill! But more serious! Ooooh, I bet he's got buns, hun. Oooh, ooh, and look over there at that other guy, the one who looks like Oberyn Martel from Game of Thrones? You probably don't watch Game of Thrones. But heeee is from Spain, and that chick over there, I mean that lady, or not-lady, or whatever, the one in the pink, said to the one in the green that someone said he's a pirate who has some reaaaal shady dealings to be in the, um, piercage.

"Okay is it kosher for me to dance with guys? Cause daaaamn. Not that you're not amaing, I just wanna dance with everyone. Shit. Emma. Babe. You've got to go talk to someone. What about that kind of sad, Richard Armitage looking guy over there? He's probably the maybe-kind, maybe-creepy widower of the story, right? I mean, kinda old. But so's the pirate I guess. Nice legs though. Nice. Fucking. Legs. Oh, shit. I should whisper more quietly. What are you thinking? Wait, no, don't answer that, go flirt with someone."

She blushed, but seemed to retreat within herself. While Wade might be the type to approach people and flirt and openly... whatever, Emma wasn't. She kept quiet, eyes on the ground, figuring nobody would really notice her. That was okay, though. Really. Attention made her uncomfortable. Talking about herself was... torture. She appreciated all of Wade's efforts. But really, she didn't think she could do the whole over the top flirting thing.

Her expression turned into a coy smile, however, when she noticed someone across the room. "What about the Ryan Reynolds looking guy in the corner? The one in the uniform? The one who hasn't glanced at me since we walked in, but I don't think he's stopped looking at you." Her grin turned friendly and she encouraged him with a little nod of her head that he should go. Their dance could be saved for another time. Just being here was enough for her.

Meanwhile, she took into consideration the few that Wade had pointed out. The Duke was handsome enough. He looked huge, more muscular than she imagined men being in this time, but it didn't much matter, did it. The second... quickly had a woman flocking to each arm. Women she couldn't compete with. And the last? Well, Emma had enough of her own sadness, and couldn't really muster the energy to deal with a man's depression during her only night here.

Still, she couldn't make herself approach any of them. It was improper since she hadn't been presented, or at least, she didn't think she had been, though several of these people greeted her by name, smiled at her, offered her a glass of wine, which she declined. Wade could have the man who had been staring at him. She would sit and watch people dance. And she would be content in doing so.

Wade's heart nearly stopped and when he turned to look, he gasped and his jaw dropped. No. No way. It couldn't be... But was it? He had to know, he had to know, there was no way they could both be sexy at the same time, be dressed as sexy as they were, and not be meant for greater things -- like making out.

"Be still my heart. Emma, oh, Emma! Why, he's a man of wax - and I aim to melt him." He kissed her on the cheek "I'll be back for the dance, I promise. Okay? Have fun. Don't be shy. You're beautiful. And if we're dead, and this is an afterlife, then these people are here to love you, right?" He took a step away, then turned back, scooped her up, and hugged her a little too tightly before practically bounding over towards the hottie with the hopefully naughty body and the very familiar face.

His antics caught the Duke's eye, and he looked over with surprise before abruptly smiling, something that seemed to surprise the company he was with. When he met Emma's eyes, he lost the smile for the most part, although enough remained to show that it was still there, at least on the inside. He bowed his head to her in greeting -- which, again, caused a bit of stir. Marcus Hollin was known for being entirely antisocial and cold, and only ever attended any social event to escort his younger sister, who was currently chirping and squeaking with a group of her friends.

It looked like Devonshire was about to come over to meet Emma, but someone touched his arm and diverted his attention -- just as a young man with shaggy, dark-blond hair bumped into Emma. He looked down, apologetic, and shuffled a bit awkwardly, clearly not entirely comfortable being here. "Sorry," he said, and he looked at her with worry in his sweet chocolate eyes. "Name's Oscar. Not sure I'm supposed to be out here. Talking to people. I was asked to find the... the... Count of Ampurias? But I'm not sure where he is, miss. Got a letter for him, for the um, I'm not supposed to say pirate, but..."

#violentnobility #thread #austentacious #part one

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