#like the context of the time period matters and if the news was saying dnd was evil and bam. weird fucking murders happen in your town
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been reflecting on the fourth season and. again. in all fairness to jason carver, like. man. i really do feel bad for that boy. he had the worst fucking week of his life. and it does suck that how he responded to two terrible tragedies overshadows everything potentially good about him
#girlfriend gets tragically murdered and sees his best friend get tragically murdered#in one of the most grotesque ways possible mind you#and he has to carry his friend's broken body back to shore#like the context of the time period matters and if the news was saying dnd was evil and bam. weird fucking murders happen in your town#one of which happened nearby the leader of the dnd club#like sure i liked eddie but the audience got to see more of him. jason just saw the bare minimum#if what happened to jason happened to anyone of course they'd go crazy and start piecing things together that dont make sense#my sister mentioned that during that last scene with lucas where lucas is trying to explain everything to jason#(wayyyy too late in the game)#it does look like jason is trying to rationalize it but to him it doesnt hold a candle to what he already put together#hell. when has anyone taken anything about the upside down at face value? and it's usually in much calmer scenarios#maybe the reason i feel so bad for jason is bc that couldve easily been steve if something happened to nancy in season one#we dont know much about jason except for the fact that it looks like he really did love chrissy#rambles#stranger things#stranger things spoilers#jason carver
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Can I talk about something? Out of character, I mean.
It's a long post, but you don't have to read it if you're not interested. It's more of a vent post than anything else.
I've been having a hard time with this blog. Not in the popularity sense, this is what I expected from this kind of thing. I mean like... I don't know what to do with it. I've experimented with a few things(You can go way back in my post history if you want to see what I mean), but those ideas sorta fell flat, no?
This was originally meant to be a storytelling blog. I wanted to share my little synopses of my characters and plot points or whatever, because I was genuinely proud of what I've done so far.
Then I resorted to trying to be a comedian. I would try to post something funny under most reblogs, leaving them be if I couldn't come up with a remark of any kind.
It wasn't until recently that I decided to turn this into a Pokemon IRL blog, and I'm not even doing that well with this. That, and I'm afraid that I come off as self-centered, so I cut any posts that give that kind of vibe. Heck, I even tried doing a playthrough series, but I keep forgetting about it, and when I do remember that it exists, I just postpone the next update to oblivion.
I really want to keep this blog going, and trust me when I say I'm going to, but it's not going anywhere, and I feel like nothing is happening. At first, I thought it was just Tumblr having boring days, but I realized that I'm just not doing anything entertaining. My blog just turned into a pool of reblogs with the occasional Pokemon-related post or rant. And I mostly wait for either @the-one-from-dres or @drizzileiscool to bring up the occasional topic that I might have enough insight to talk about. Sorry for @'ing you guys, by the way, I just need folks to know who I'm talking about. Y'all the goats.
Once I got my drawing tablet, I thought that I could do a bunch of art stuff, but then it devolved into the same potential self-obsession problem, where I would just draw that one character(which is literally just a Samurott with anxiety and a Goku complex, let's be honest with ourselves here) over and over again. I have other characters I can draw, and I'm even taking free art requests. Granted, I haven't gotten any requests yet, but the option was still there.
And that's how we got here. I have to retake my Regents in literally under 24 hours, and I'm bitching and moaning about how I'm not getting anywhere in my ha-ha internet blog, which everyone already takes as a joke anyway.
If anything, I think my problem comes from a lack of communication. There was this like, 4 day period that I didn't hear a word from Dres, and I thought he hated me for something I did, until he involved me in 3 back-to-back reblog games literally the next day.
I still feel awful about it now, it was so petty of me to even think that way. For context, Dres might as well be my day one, and he's inadvertently taught me the ins and outs of Tumblr, like how to use tags and things like that. Hell, we even played DnD together once. No exaggeration, he's the closest thing I've had to a real friend in years, and I'm convinced that's only the case because he hasn't seen me in person.
I love him deeply, and only wish the best for him. To think that he'd leave me after I did basically nothing, I've really hit a new level of desperate. He likely had his own things to do, while I'm still stressing about things that probably don't even matter in hindsight.
Back to my original point, I want to do a lot more on this blog, and I also wanted to make it a chill place.
That's one of the reasons why I don't talk about politics myself. I don't want to get involved in things like that at all, because I want people to live without worry. The furthest I go with that kind of thing is "Stop being dicks to each other. We're people, deal with it." I know it's more complicated than that, but at this point, I'm almost scared to get involved in that kind of thing. I don't even know what a terf is. I didn't know Rowling was a bad person until recently when Drizzile was talking about her.
And it's like, I don't even know why it's so hard to talk to people for me. But at the same time, I think I really have something wrong with me, but I'm too scared to get it checked out. And, while I'm not getting into personal details, I don't have the right circumstances to even have that happen in the first place. That's the out of character reason why I say I might have ADHD, instead of outright saying I have it. I literally can't get it diagnosed myself if I wanted to, and I don't do the self-diagnosis stuff because I always get paranoid and think my problem is worse than it is. For example, I've convinced myself three times within the past year and a half that I had appendicitis, because I would get this really specific pain in my stomach. Guess who I told about it?
No one. I was terrified of wasting someone's time just for it to be me freaking out over nothing, and if I'm being honest, I still am. At this point, I have a plethora of things wrong with me, I know that now, but I don't ever get them checked out. I'm doing well so far with them, why worry about it now.
I just don't want to offend anyone. All I wanted to do was make a place where I and other people could have fun.
This is still going to primarily be a Pokemon IRL blog, but I'm doing something different. Please, if there's anything you all want to see on here, let me know. Stuff for Guy, art stuff, whatever floats your boat besides the obvious. And I'll do my best to keep up with my stories and fanfics or whatever. Once I get my stuff settled again, obviously, but I don't want to make it seem like I'm doing this for myself.
I don't want to turn this into a pity party. I really don't. At this point, I'm sick of having people worry about me. Whenever they do, I feel like I'm being an attention hog, and it sucks. If you did read this, thanks for listening. I just needed to get this much off my chest.
#ooc#ooc rambles#serious#long post#personal#vent#again. you don't have to read this if you don't want to
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Fan Autoethnography
I wear fan merch. I consider fan merch as an important part of my fan identity especially when the merch is part of limited edition collections. I fell that having these limited edition collections allows me to tie my fandom to a specific period of time in both the fandom's history as well as my own.
I will often go back and rewatch episodes or entire shows to analyze the subtext or extrapolate meanings that I hadn't considered on a first watch. One of the shows that I recently have done this for is Bones. I watched this show when I was much younger and by going back and watching it now, I can appreciate the nuance and deeper context surrounding the characters and their storyline. In particular, I have picked up the autistic coding of the character of Dr. Brennan.
I am very involved in fan communities for many different fandoms. Some communities I am more involved than others. One community I am greatly involved in is the Random Enocunters community. This is also a community that I create fan works for. I am in charge of the fan wiki community as well as my own personal fan theories and fan interpretation of unexplained events.
I follow important media figures on social media mainly to keep in the loop with the projects they are going to be in. For Hollywood celebrities, I am less likely to care about their personal post, but for content creators I follow, I am more likely to engage with their personal posts.
I engage with many different types of fan content, from fan fiction to fan video essays. One of my favorite fan content types is the fan music video. These can come in the form of the fan edit or animatics. Fan edits are fun because they often include memerable clips from the media that serve as fun gaps in the song. Animatics have the added benefit of animating fandom events in a new and often more intense way.
I think that fandom does have an us vs them construction. In many of my fandoms, I am in the 'us' category. This often involves knowing the inside jokes and reference or understanding why a piece of merch is important to wear. These things can be understood at a surface level by mainstream society but the connection that they have to the fans is only understood by the people that hold it dear.
I don't think that there is a thin line between normal and excessive fan because there does exist the causal fan. I would say that I am a casual fan of dungeons and dragons. I have a positive relationship with the ttrpg and know some things about it but my knowledge and appreciation is not at the level of other fans but not as barebones as the mainstream audience. I think the line of "obsessive" fan falls where the person begins to integrate the fandom into their core personality.
My DND Character Larissa
Anonymity is both beneficial for fandom spaces and detrimental. It is well documented in social psychology that anonymity leads to people being more likely to say or do things that they would not other wise say or do. It allows people to be meaner because the fear of consequences is basically nonexistent. However, I do think that anonymity opens up fandom spaces to many different people who can use that separation from online and inperson identity to form connections and converse with people while being safe. I have a close friend I met online who values their privacy because they are younger and the anonymity of fandom space allows them to engage with other people while still valuing their privacy.
I think that I experience a blend of identity and psychological compensation with fandom. Anything that matters deeply to you is going to become part of your identity. Being a theorist is one of my core identity traits. This doesn't stop fandom from forming those psychological compensations. I would say that, especially when I watched regular streamers, I would form parasocial relationships with them. I knew that they did not feel the same way but the connection and the positive feelings from it were still there and played into my enjoyment of the content.
Language progression. When immersed in a fandom, there are definitely terms and inside jokes that bleed out into the real world, especially when you are around other people who understand the joke. One of the big language bleeds has been me and my siblings use of "theory" to refer to any instance where we are trying to predict the outcome or explanation of something. This comes directly from our shared fandom of Game Theory. Another that we both share is to dramatically say "What was the motivation?!?!?" when discussing confusing events, which comes from a creators reaction to a fan video.
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WHEN TROLLS ATTACK! WHEN AUTHORS STRIKE BACK!
By Eldon Macwood
TRIGGER WARNING: For those who know me, I am your Trigger Warning. Some have accused me of being an Edgelord, which sounds like a porn name if you ask me, but compared to actual Edgelords, I'm very disappointing. As my views are my views, period. I'm not here to be edgy, I'm just me, warts and all. But please, don't add warts to me, I have enough of my own. I also don't bend the knee to any political party, I hate them all. They make us fight, instead of using our brains.
I am a lover of equality, and I will take whichever side that seems to be in the most right. I also cuss like a motherfucker, not sorry. There will be a disclaimer at the end, because welcome to the Internet. Reader discretion is advised.
Remember, no bitching, I did warn you, I am your trigger warning. I don't provide pacifiers, or Desitin. I'm not responsible for your offenses as you were warned ahead of time. I really shouldn't have to bring this back up again, don't make me. Also, everyone has the right to speak up on their views, whether you’re viewed as a troll or not, you have that right. As do I. Still here? I shall assume you’re not easily triggered, and will read the whole post in proper context. Thank you for sticking around!
On today's episode of the, The Easily Triggered (not an actual series, but would make a cool one), the author, Matt Fucking Shaw, did the unspeakable!!!! The worst fucking thing an author can do!!!! In today's dark, dark, dark world, Matt Shaw went waaaaaay over the rails, man. Are you ready? Here goes, he defended himself against a patronizing troll. YUP. How fucking dare he!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S NOT ALLOWED!!!! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT UP THE ASS RAWDOG!!!!!!!!
Okay, my mock triggering aside, here's what happened:
(This is my subjective take, as she has her’s) Following this patronizing, ignorant "review" (the video is linked, I won't cancel her) of Matt Shaw's book, Roll the Dice, Matt responded by writing a dedication to her in his book, Moist Gusset.
So, here are some things to dive into: Hailey Hughes, in her very sassy, patronizing tone didn't just make assumptions about the author based on the book, she said that a white author shouldn't use the N word in a story.
Why this is ignorant:
As long as it's in context with the character, and not glorified by the author, this isn't a problem. Got news for ya, racist people exist. I have written about them, and killed them off in very nasty ways in stories. I'm a mostly white (most Wokies I know don’t give a shit I’m mixed, like DnD, they ignore mixed races) cisgender male author, AND I'm a pansexual. I also defend the LGBTQAI+, and yet, I have no problems with Shaw, as she claims that authors like Shaw, don't care about people like me. Yeeaaahhh, okay. Matt Shaw has no issues with me, probably because I have never attacked him, just sayin'. PLaying White Savior, and/or Story Police isn't a good look, ya know?
It doesn't matter what skin color you are, as long as the story is in proper context, yes, slurs can be said by the characters. This doesn't make it racist of the author. Please, try using your brain sometime. Same goes for writing outside of your gender, your sexuality, your race, etc. An author writes stories that have some realism in them along with a fuck ton of made up shit. It's fine to not like those stories, it's not fine attacking the author, and making them sound like something they are not. Dear Wokies, please understand this. (Disclaimer: not all Wokies are bad, this is just a common thing among the Wokie peoples)
She has also accused Shaw of not being able to write women. Look, I saw this same thing said about a cisgender woman author I really like, by another woman. Guess what??? Not all women think, and speak the same, SHOCKING!!!!! I'm not saying that male authors haven't fucked up when it comes to writing women, but Hailey, or any other woman isn't the judge and jury on how every woman in the world thinks and speaks. SORRY, doesn't work that way. Stop being a gatekeeper, it's not cute. It's fine to talk about what you don't like, but please, be classy about it. Don't attack.
Now, the book that really got everyone's undies in a wad is, Moist Gusset, and not just because the word, "moist" is in the title. Which surprised me, since the word is very triggering. Matt wrote a jab in the dedication to her. While I wouldn't have done that, it was nothing to sneeze at. Well, she comes back saying that he wrote about her in a book about torture porn. He didn't. The book wasn't about her (sorry your highness, only the dedication was about you, not everything in the world, I know, sad, panda ears), and it wasn't torture porn. She also admitted to not reading the book before she went off. Also, Matt misspelled her name on purpose in the dedication. I guess this review merited not reading a book before reviewing, in her eyes. Yeah, makes perfect sense. Maybe next time, read the damn book before reviewing it. Just a suggestion.
It was at this point many in the author/writing community lost their shit, and went on the warpath against Matt Shaw.
A lot of the hate made fun of him for being a fragile white cisgender man, because, yeah, lets act like the bigoted cunts we oppose! Makes perfect fucking sense! Goddamn hypocrites!
To add to this, many of her fans have also attacked Shaw and his fans because of this matter.
Okay, so while you can tell where I stand on this matter, in another video, Hailey made some good points. When it comes to things like, discrimination, it doesn't get talked about enough. Yes, there has been some terrible people who are authors who need to go. Absolutely. But the reason why many in the extreme horror community speak out when you trash talk them, is because it happens a lot. By people waving Woke superiority in their faces.
The extreme horror sub-genre is like any other genre, characters exist with many different views. Guess what? Not every character is supposed to be glorified, especially if they are racist. And most of the time, when anyone gets worked up over a white author writing about a character using a slur, almost always is it in context to that character, not to the author's character.
This shit is gatekeeping. You're playing Story Police. You're crying wolf when there isn't one. This doesn't help to protect anyone. If anything, it hurts your cause. It makes you look like you can properly discern when there is an actual problem. And while she throws out her credentials as a trauma therapist, so what? Jordan Peterson who's a complete transphobe was a therapist as well. Your point?It clearly didn't make him see reality any clearer now did it? The experience may help to a point, but people can still be shitty regardless of it.
Look, we all have books we hate. Perhaps some authors. There are in fact terrible people who write stories that are cringe city. But lumping innocent authors into the bad ones, isn't the way to go.
Hailey had her say, I am having mine.
Now, as an author, and someone who has been publicly attacked before by Wokies playing the White Savior role, I would have done something very different. First off, no specific dedications to reviewers, especially the bad ones. Yes, Hailey is known for her trollish reviews, but still, it counts as a review. At least on the book she claims to have actually read. I don't count her review of the book she didn't read.
What I would do is monetize my haters. Wanna talk shit about me, and make assumptions based on my stories? I will now use those words to advertise my books. You will actually help me. When people ask me how I cope with the hate, I will take a Loki attitude about it. Yes, it's very sad, anyway...
Because why would I ever take the words of an arrogant troll serious? Are you kidding me? You get your world wrecked over a fucking book, and you do so in the wrong context.
Okay, for now, this is all I have to say on the matter. What I won't do, is go around picking fights on social media. I had my say on my platform. You do you.
Peace.
Disclaimer: This is the subjective opinion of grimdark author, Eldon Macwood. A white-Cherokee-Crow cisgender male who makes snow blush with his bright af skin. He's also pansexual, so he's not all bad. The problem isn't with the sensitive topics, but rather, the crying wolf mentality, and inability to differentiate between real wolves, and imagined wolves. When an actual wolf is present, we should indeed, ring the fucking bell. However, to those who make shit up, nobody wants to believe a liar. But I'm just a fragile man, according to many Matt Shaw haters out there who disregard anything guys have to say, and conveniently ignore the cisgender and trans women who stand with him. In my evil, white male mind, I can't see why this has to be a gender thing. But the Wokies sure think it is. Oh well. Ignore me. I'm a man. I'm mostly white. I'm soooooo bad. Yup. Uh huh.
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