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someoneinjersey · 2 years

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Just a lil update

Every so often I like to check in on my mostly defunct social media accounts.

Still living in North Carolina with Kate, with her cat Wimby and my dog Deano, and then we had a stray decide to adopt us who is so sweet and lovey. Her name is Larry because she has a very raspy meow if she can make sound at all, so Kate said she had laryngitis, thus, Larry. She's wonderful and we want to work on bringing her inside if we can (she likes to sneak in sometimes anyway). She brings us so many "gifts" so we know she loves us but for god's sake, so many dead mice, chipmunks, and rabbits turning up on our porch.

I'm still disabled as fuck, yo. I rarely have the physical or mental energy to do things, which sucks because I was doing really well for a few months after I moved in and then at some point, possibly conflated by my birth control that I hated, my panic disorder kicked into high gear. Like I'd have a panic attack just driving into town, or thinking about driving into town, or for no reason at all. We went to Kate's brother's five hours away for Christmas this past year and I had to stop at a gas station for an hour to sit and let my meds kick in while fighting vomiting and hyperventilating because I was having such a bad panic attack. Once we finally got there I had at least one attack every day, sometimes two or three. It was out of control, so my psychiatrist put me on extended release xanax to try to improve my quality of life and it's worked very well, though it does make me sleepy and panic or the fear of panic does creep in from time to time.

My brother disowned me. My mother needs a kidney transplant now on top of her liver transplant, and will refuse dialysis once her kidney function fails completely, so we have no idea how much time she has left. She still won't leave her husband. She wants to come visit again (she came last October) and while she's my mom so I'd love to see her and cook for her, I don't know if I can handle the stress. She doesn't realize she's a huge trigger for me and she can never know that because it'll kill her and she's already dying. She is aware, however, that if she visits, she may have to have Kate or a taxi pick her up from/drop her off at the airport because I don't know if I can drive to Asheville yet. It's about a 30 minute drive, but I still struggle with just going into town. She's not too happy about that. We've had so many fights since I've moved here.

I keep falling into ruts. I swore I'd break all my bad habits once I got down here and lived on my own, without a parent lurking around, but I just keep letting things go all over again. The dishes pile up, the garbage piles up, and then the monumentous task of just starting a clean up becomes unattainable. I've also learned that I have ADHD, likely always have. My psychiatrist said it was a "soft" diagnosis he was giving me, however, because I wasn't interested in going on medication for it. I want to sort out my other shit first but naturally I'm making no progress on that either. I put things off because I'm scared, and because I can never guarantee that I can make my appointments due to my panic attacks.

I'm still a killer cook. I've taken up collage journaling, which is just basically gluing scraps of paper and putting stickers together in a notebook, but it makes me feel good to do. I bought myself supplies to start drawing again but they've been here over a week and I haven't touched them yet. I need to get back into art so maybe I can sell some because we are barely scraping by, paycheck to paycheck and disability to disability. It really sucks.

Anyway, for anyone that's still around, I just have tumblr, facebook, and instagram now. FB and IG are private so you'll have to send a follow request or whatever, but please do. I'd like more interaction and I miss some of you on here. I'm also always up for texting, so my number is only an ask away.

ETA: My fb is under "Sara Ann" and my current userpic is not my face, and my ig is "atthedividingline" thank you

#me #about me #personal #update

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bluemoonstonesy · 2 years

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Number 5

John Stones | Prologue

Number 5 Masterlist

warnings: a little angsty introduction

“(y/n)’s signed her contract, it’s just been announced!”

Phil sits on the opposite side of the gym, scrolling through his phone and only stops when the announcement pops up on his twitter feed. The rest of the lads turn their heads to face him, mumbling amongst themselves about what Phil had just told them.

“Doesn’t - well didn’t she play for Everton?” Kyle corrects himself with a laugh, and John can’t help but tune into the conversation at the mention of his old club, distracting him from his own phone that’s been mindlessly scrolling through Instagram for the past ten minutes. He isn’t exactly sure as to why he suddenly turns his attention towards the words leaving his England teammate’s mouth, but he does know that it’s going to drive him utterly insane if he sees one more person on his feed posting about what they’ve put on their toast.

“Yeah,” Phil replies. He stays silent for another minute or two, continuing to scroll on his phone before piping up again, “Women’s player of the year for two years running, bloody hell.”

“Looks like we've got some competition, then,” Rúben suddenly says, standing up from the rowing machine and wiping his face with a towel with a small chuckle at his own statement, “What position?”

“Centre back,” Phil replies, giving John a quick glance that makes him frown in confusion before staring back down at his phone, “She’s number 5 too, another Stonesy on our hands.”

They all laugh at Phil’s comment, whereas John just sighs to himself and picks his phone back up. Usually, he’d join in, take their banter lightly and lavish in it. But he just isn’t in the mood as of late. He doesn’t seem to be in the mood for anything, really.

Nobody wants to bring it up to him, but it’s obvious that lack of game time is getting to John. He isn’t even sure as to why it’s happening. He’s not been injured for months, been showing good progress in training and had constant reassurance that he’s basically got his spot sealed for the upcoming fixtures. Yet it’s always a punch in the gut when they’re ushered into the small tactics room and his name is printed boldly on the substitutes bench more often than not, trying to hide his growing disappointment as everyone else takes their role happily.

They all change their gaze and drop their faces as John stands up from one of the mats, several pairs of eyes following him as he walks towards the door. He doesn’t want to stay there.

“Where you off to, mate?” Kyle asks.

John pauses at the doorway, composing himself. He finds himself doing that quite a lot as of late. “Toilet.” He simply dismisses, statement laced with a tone that’s become all too familiar with the defender in the past few months.

They don’t question him, instead going back to their conversation that soon flows into something else. John is somewhat glad for once. He doesn’t have the effort to justify himself anymore. Maybe it’s because people seem to do that for him nowadays. Nobody sits him down, asks why he’s doing poorly over a cup of coffee and a sympathetic look on their face. Instead, all they need to do is open social media or turn on the TV and let other people do the talking for him. None of it’s true of course, only John knows the reasons behind his apparent loss of form. But he feels that even his own thoughts are out of his hands now.

The cold air of the restroom hits him immediately as the door swings open, and for a moment, it snaps him out of it all and feels somewhat comforting in a way. Of course, it can’t last forever, soon being brought back to reality as the lingering smell of freshly used bleach hits his nose. But it’s something.

He didn’t even intend to use the room he now finds himself stood inside of in any way, actually feeling a little bit stupid as he stares around the thankfully empty space.

John walks over to the sink, telling himself that the cliche ‘splashing water on the face’ might help in some way. Of course, it doesn’t. He’s still the exact same as he pats his face dry with a paper towel. His issues are still there, except now, he just has a face with droplets running down it and slightly damp hair.

He just looks at himself in the mirror, staring, almost yearning for something to happen. And yet again, it doesn’t, and he actually feels pretty stupid for thinking that it will. You have to actually do something to change your situation, not just stare at yourself in the mirror. But he doesn’t feel as if he has any options left at this point.

John pulls out his phone for another momentary distraction. He doesn’t ‘do’ social media much, yet another thing he gets criticised for. If he had the effort, he’d probably say that they’re grasping at straws at this point. But he doesn’t. He keeps his mouth firmly shut and does his best to go about his day. Yet his best doesn’t seem to be enough not only for them, but for him too.

He has access to his Instagram account mainly run by management now, but he still finds himself scrolling now and again. Sometimes one of his teammates will send him a video that might make him laugh, maybe a cat doing something stupid or a prank gone wrong. He’ll laugh at them, but it’ll be momentary before faltering.

He swipes the screen down, watching as the little refresh symbol spins for a few seconds before disappearing and leaving him with a fresh feed to look at. John scrolls down, liking some of his teammates’ posts as they appear on his phone screen. He leaves a few comments too, things that he thinks they’ll find funny to try and have some type of impact.

After a few minutes, he’s about to lock his phone and leave the restroom, go back to the small gym and act as if he’s completely happy and on top of the world. In reality, John should be. He’s doing his dream job, in a position that many others would kill to have. People work their whole lives to get where he is. So why should he waste the best years of his life moping about, feeling sorry for himself? John feels selfish in that sense.

It’s a post from City’s official account that draws his attention in.

His screen displays the image of a young woman, ecstatic as can be holding up a blue shirt with a bold, white number 5 splashed across the back with a surname that now seems familiar to John. He’s probably seen her play before against City women before she signed. He catches himself staring for a few moments before swiping to the other slides. More photos show her standing outside of the stadium, looking at it in in noticeable awe - the way that John feels he did almost six years ago.

It was daunting for him to come to a club that expected so much more of him. Such a big price tag that he had absolutely no control over, yet still had to live up to it to basically justify his entire existence after it had been splashed over every news article for everyone to see. It’s always used against him in some way to put him down when it’s deemed appropriate after a bad performance. Sometimes he’s certain that people forget that he isn’t just an extortionate amount of money on a piece of paper, his signature underneath the only physical thing linking it to him. Without that, he’s nothing.

The fourth and final one shows her with a pen in her hand - the classic contract signing photo. John remembers his a little too well. Sometimes, he feels he doesn’t deserve to remember it, to remember how it feels to be so optimistic about the future. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking like that again, and he’s certain that he’s probably being extremely overdramatic about the situation.

But he’s already been in that state, the state of hitting a brick wall and having absolutely nowhere else to go from. And for some reason, he feels as if it’s going to happen all over again very, very soon.

#number 5 - john stones #john stones #john stones imagine #john stones x reader #john stones fic #man city fic #football fic

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gothicprep · 2 years

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did they ever change the simpson's cars? they've gone from extremely common decade-ish old beaters to so ancient they'd stand out on the road almost as much as an Edsel. the modern equivalent would be like ~2000s oblong cars. like a dodge intrepid and a ford escort wagon.

I'll never stop being fascinated by the anachronism of Late Simpsons. so many iconic/archetypical elements of the characters that are fixed in a certain time and place, and they try to change them but can't really change them too much, so you end up with a weird temporal mutant. the simpsons began in 1989, roughly concurrent with the fall of the berlin wall and the 'end of history', so it seems oddly appropriate it'd become symbolic of this deathless atemporal eternal past-present, changing but not changing, decaying but deathless, a zombie.

the simpsons are supposed to be very working class, not terribly well off, but people now pay a small fortune to buy a house of comparable size and quality, and not in or near a major city. and they often need help from affluent relatives getting there in the first place.

a variety show hosted by a clown, bart's banana board, homer's unionized industry job, the autocrat sole-owner industrialist, the stay-at-home housewife, the show was in some ways already anachronistic from the jump, the world it depicted already slipping away. the characters’ core traits, those things that can be exaggerated and smoothed down and, well "Flanderized", are still inextricable from their context. the simpsons were a caricature, but a relatable one, to a family in 1990.

but do any of the characters, their core malleable but inalienable traits, their whole dynamic, make any sense as a family of millennials raising zoomer kids? does Homer make sense as a guy born in 1986 who grew up with PlayStation, Nickolodeon, and AngelFire webpages? This isn't a criticism of the show. “New Simpsons Bad” is an observation so far beyond banal. but the fact that it persists like this just pricks at my brain. nothing about it makes any sense. I don't even know who's watching it. It's a thing out of time lurching on under pure inertia.

i remember occasionally reading those old newspaper comic strips as a kid, and though I couldn't describe it, I'd pick up on their crude form of this same sense. beetle bailey and the family circus made about as much sense in 1998 as the simpsons does today. although not as weird, because these were just artifacts for older people. they didn't really change that much or try to. the simpsons is constantly on a quixotic quest to make itself contemporary. if in simpsons-world, the 90s simply never ended, it'd be less jarring.

I wish I could put a name or more precise description to this concept/feeling, the thing that is always changing but never changes, the always present future-past, this breakdown of historical progression, context and continuity, that I think so dominates contemporary media. either in the awful megalithic form of marvel movies (cartoon characters from our's and our parent's childhoods recast into every variation of 80s-90s blockbuster formulae), constant remakes and reboots, live-action disney cartoons, and other acts of cultural necromancy.

the simpsons has done multiple episodes imagining their futures, adult bart and lisa, elderly homer and marge, and yet we've arrived at those futures and bart is still 10 and lisa is still 8. comic book characters have this same problem, but comic books are more niche (we'll see what the movies do), and the cartoons reboot themselves every generation... but the comics maintain a nominal continuity. or at least, attempt to, and it's bizarre. there's an old joke about superhero comics, that the only character that stays dead is uncle ben. nobody dies, nobody gets old, nothing changes, batman gets meaner, or nicer, gets a new batmobile, a touch screen batphone, whatever, but he never stops being batman.

I think it speaks to some problem with letting go. being so overawed by the present/near-past as to not be able to imagine any break with it. we can't let things die, or let them grow and evolve so much they become unrecognizable (and thus dead). they become stunted mutants. on some level, for whatever set of reasons, I think we've come to accept the belief that we can't ever really do better than this. that to toss away these rotten and decrepit things is to lose something irreplaceable, not make room for something greater.

anyway, I let this go on long enough as it is. didn't mean to post a bunch, it's just the thought train leaving the station without breaks. ah well. anyway share your thoughts, or post what cars you think modern simpsons should drive.

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thedancingcrab · 3 years

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This week marks mental health awareness week. I don't know how much a social media post really does.. Maybe nothing at all. But I'd like to start this off in saying that I've become a lot more confident in my body since I let myself gain weight instead of holding onto the idea that I should always be slim to be considered attractive. And let me tell you why.

This past year and probably years and years before that I've had to put so much time and energy into healing. It's been one of the most exhausting processes but also so rewarding at the same time. Because I can tell you this whole heartedly. I now like myself. No. I love myself. I love everything that I am and what I've become. But this wasn't an overnight process. It's been painful, I've had to confront a lot of my wrong doings, mistakes and negative thoughts about myself to get to where I am now. I had to find hobbies. I had to pour my energy into other things than myself. Because honestly. When you die, no one's gonna think about how beautiful you were. They might say it, but they will focus on how you were beautiful in other ways. Maybe how you lit up the room with your smile. How you were so positive and how much they miss your energy.

A hobby I've found in this past year is cycling and going hiking and it's done wonders for my mental health. Because I started worrying less about what my body looks like and more what it can actually do for me. I have legs that allow me to walk up mountains. Not everyone is that lucky. I live somewhere where I get to see some of the most beautiful sights in the world (Wales isn't a shithole trust me there really is incredible places). We hardly ever criticise how nature looks so why do we do it to ourselves? Another thing I've noticed as well is that the only person who really says bad things about my appearance..is me. Nobody really cares. People are so focused on themselves and what they're doing. I used to get told I was ugly in school all the time. Even by girls who were supposed to be my friends. But I refuse to carry the weight of those opinions with me around anymore. Maybe I didn't look the best in school, but it wasn't my focus. I was quirky and I owned that. But I didnt have the self awareness back then that I do now. And the weight of those opinions got on top of me so much, until they became a problem and I found myself with an eating disorder and I stopped eating and increasing the amount of makeup I wore cause I thought that was what happiness felt like. Skinny, glamorous. It didn't get any better.

I convinced myself I was happy whilst I ate sugar free jelly and low calorie ice cream. But it was hell and I'm so glad I know what real ice cream tastes like now. As for my face, it's nice to let it breathe every now and then as well. I'm beautiful with no makeup on and I'm beautiful if I want to wear it. But I don't always feel that way. I still have bad days and there's still that voice somewhere that tells me I'm out of shape and should maybe increase my exercise and eat a bit better. It will probably always be there. When you've struggled with your body perception for years I'm not sure it ever quite goes away. But I also recognise when those thoughts come up now and it's easier to flick them away. Cause I know there is so much more to me than how I look and I get so sad when others don't have that awareness too cause I've been there and I know what it's like to have your appearance consume your mind day in and day out. I think all the women I've compared myself to over the years are dealing with the same thing. Maybe when I was comparing myself to the girl that had the body type I wanted and the face I'd love to have she was also dealing with the same battles of her own. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the previous version of ourselves and how much we've grown or will continue to grow. We don't know what others are dealing with at the end of the day. And just because someone looks like you want to look doesn't mean they're better than you in any way shape or form. You don't need to be pretty like somebody else you need to be pretty like you. Cause nothing compares to that. If there's anyone else that I know who is still battling with what feels like a never ending hell of not loving yourself.. Here's some tips I've learned along the way that really help me.

- Try to stop mirror checking. I say try, because I still do now and it's a work in progress. When you find yourself doing it, create some distractions. Think about other things you have to do. I guarantee your washing basket needs sorting out right now. I can guarantee something in your room or anywhere else needs tidying and fixing. Go and sort it. We can't change our bodies in an instant, but we can sort out those mundane tasks we keep putting off and it's way more fulfilling when you do one of those tasks. Trust me I have plenty...

- The next time you go outside, look around at people. Is anyone really focusing on you? Probably not. They're probably focused on themselves. Or their dog if they're out walking them (I'm also trying to focus less on myself and the cute dogs I get to see when I'm out). Another thing.. Acknowledge what you're doing in that moment. We get to use our legs, our legs are allowing us to walk and see daylight. Not everyone is that lucky as I mentioned before. Okay maybe my legs weren't as skinny as they used to be but seriously who cares. There are so many other things I can be focusing on right now and you can too.

- Again another work in progress but seriously I'm working on it and it's getting better. When people compliment you, stop trying to find reasons on why they're wrong. Because if they turned around one day and told you everything you say to yourself on a daily basis it would break your heart. Trust me it would. But the people who love you don't think those things and they never will. Because if you asked them what they like about you the most your appearance won't be one of them. Maybe your partner will say something jokey and sweet about it. But trust me, it's not what they love about you the most. Other things are far more important. And they probably love you because you make their life so much more bearable in some form. We all have our own problems. Think about how much you add to that person's life when they're facing struggles of their own. I guarantee, you will be able to find at least one thing.

- No food is a bad food. We can all have too much of something but that goes for every kind of food. And exercise is amazing for our mental health but it doesn't mean we have to over indulge in it just because we ate 'bad' for a few days and now we feel guilty. Be kind to yourself in those moments. Once again it's another work in progress for me too. I pretty much eat whatever I want when I want now. But there's still that voice in my head. They're a bit annoying at this point I don't know whether I should give her a name.. Maybe Ursula cause she was my least favourite Disney villian. Ursula just needs to piss off sometimes. I went through years of restricting myself and I don't wanna do it anymore.

- Let people take pictures of you. I know. Its terrifying. I still hate it now. But one day all people will have of you is a memory and that picture you hate of yourself so much might be their favourite. In this day and age all we ever get exposed to is picture perfect filtered people who probably shaved off half of their thigh with some editing programme like face tune or whatever it's called. Then someone takes a normal picture of us and we zoom in on it and start criticising ourselves from our face all the way down to our toes. We start asking people to put a filter on us before they take the picture because anything is better than being confronted with our real selves. I just don't wanna live in a world like that anymore. I'm still guilty of doing it myself from time to time, but the less people do it the better. I'd love to start being more of an advocate for that.

When you put your phone down and get into the real world and it's something I've started making more of a cautious effort to do lately, everyone just looks normal!! Everyone has textured skin, everyone's got pores, people have oil, people have spots, people have dry skin. Maybe some are better at hiding it than others. But it's just skin. Thats literally it. Social media has warped our brains into thinking we're not good enough cause we don't look like the person who's completely cellulite, pore and acne free in their gym gear living their best life. But in all honesty, they probably don't look like that either. I'm not saying people can't, but the tiniest bit of editing can go into a photo and we think it's realistic. And they're probably insecure about something as well. Don't compare yourself to images that aren't real life. I know it's hard. Once again I still do it myself. But we can make a cautious effort to realise when we're doing these things and implement little changes on how to stop.

If you got this far and read all of this, then thank you. It means the world. I hope I was able to maybe get you to think about life in a different way and maybe.. Just maybe more positively. If not then thank you for reading anyway! I hope we can all stop being so unkind to ourselves one day. 💚

#Me #Ginger #Redhead #Mental health awareness week #Mental health #Body dysmorphia #Eating disorders #Anxiety #Insecurity #Weight loss #Gaining weight #Happiness

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m1serere-n0bis · 4 years

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Anyways. I don't care what the rest of you all have been doing during this but I have been trying to listen better and pray more.

For those of you who don't think that's "enough"... Sorry but I don't owe public opinion shit. The only person I owe an explanation to is God. I don't owe anyone information on what I'm doing in private. I don't owe anyone information on what I am/am not supporting financially or otherwise. If your personal opinion is that I'm not making adequate use of my voice or platform then that's rough buddy, but my voice is not the one that needs to be heard right now and also what platform? As a society hyperfocused on social media ESPECIALLY NOW DURING THIS PANDEMIC we have to come to terms that we all have lives outside of it and we don't "owe" each other ANY information about that in spite of what our culture tells us. Like if this is what "community-based policing" means, I can already tell you I hate it and it's oppressive.

For those of you who think this is a political power play, I would say those concerns are valid but there IS a REAL problem that will still be there when all the political pandering and posturing is done. And we need to fix it. Part of the reason I haven't been hyping what everyone has been telling me to hype in the name of activism is pretty much this:

Do I think it honestly matters which political party is in charge for changes to happen? No, because I do not trust the SAME GOVERNMENT BACKING THE POLICE to take the money THAT IS STILL TECHNICALLY IN THEIR POSSESSION and funnel it into the communities that need it in any way that will actually address the racism inherent in the system. HOWEVER, that doesn't stop me from listening to what my brothers and sisters in Christ are telling me are their experiences not just in a society that is supposed to have progressed past racism but in the BODY OF CHRIST itself. Because it's there, everyone. Yes, it's not overt. Yes, not everyone is actively engaging in it but if we are truly One Body then we owe it to each other to make reparations for sins that aren't ours. It's what we've been doing for the child abuse scandals, is it not? The majority of us were not involved but do we not still carry the burden of that sin simply because we're Catholic, because one part of the One Body committed this massive hurt?

So anyway. The goal of this post is not to make anyone feel bad and it is not an invitation for people to pile on me because I haven't vocally supported x, y, z. This is an invitation to listen and to pray... which should always be the first step, EVEN WHEN THERE IS AN IMMEDIATE NEED FOR ACTION. (Maybe ESPECIALLY when there's an immediate need for action.) And holy shit are we not good at that or what? 😂

1) Fr. Mike Schmitz' homily this week was an invitation for us to listen to God and let Him tell us who He is because only by doing that can we see the image and likeness of God in each other. We've lost that in our wishy-washy prayer lives that inevitably end up with us trying to force God into an earthly construction in which He doesn't belong. We try to tell God who He is because the world is too noisy for us to hear Him tell us about Himself. And that inevitably trickles down into us trying to force each other into boxes before recognizing the human dignity instilled by God in all of us. The internet feeds into that by making us faceless virtual entities, thus making it that much more difficult to recognize our humanity. I can read faceless stats for days but if I don't have ANY CONTEXTUAL IDEA where those numbers are coming from, they're empty. They're easily manipulated into whatever whoever is selling me them wants me to think of them if I don't have someone LIVING THOSE STATISTICS giving me context. Right now the media wants us to feed on the controversy surrounding BLM movement without telling us that these communities have been MARCHING IN THEIR COMMUNITIES FOR YEARS AGAINST THE VIOLENCE THEY INFLICT ON THEMSELVES and it is the same media blackout as any March for Life. The media doesn't care unless they have drama they can use to stoke more division and that's the tea.

2) Fr. Josh Johnson is on fire right now, everyone. Like him and Chika Anyanwu are two voices I wasn't listening to before that I'm thankful to be hearing now. If you're wondering how God can be good even in the midst of chaos, turmoil, and pain, this is it. If you're struggling to separate the Black Lives Matter Organization from the heart of the issue, this is how God is doing that. The Church needs to hear these voices. They have real experiences to share. They are part of the Body of Christ, and they are really hurting through these thousands of small cuts.

I would recommend listening to the Jeff Cavins Show episode Distance Amplifies Difference where he has a conversation with Fr. Josh. They both have tremendously unique WORDLY perspectives to bring to the table on the issue (Jeff Cavins is a white man but has children who are black and they live in Minnesota and are literally witnessing the heart of this first hand in the trenches, and Fr. Josh is the son of a black former chief of police) but ultimately discuss how we as a Church can work towards fixing it.

Fr. Josh and Fr. Mike's dialogue on Ascension Presents is also really top notch. I still have to finish watching it, though. 😅

I can't believe I wasn't following Chika before because as another single Catholic woman, I feel like I've found a sister in Christ experiencing the same ups and downs of Catholic singlehood (her Instagram Highlight was like HILARIOUS and also a truth 😂). Her family's small business got looted during the rioting but I believe they've since been able to shut down their Go Fund Me since people gave them enough support to get it back up and running. Anyways, I'm glad this amplification of black voices brought me to hers.

3) Fransican Friars of the Renewal Fr. Agostino and Fr. Pierre Toussaint discuss their hopes for the movement from their perspective as people of color and as servants of one of the poorest neighborhoods in NYC, the South Bronx. Their dynamic is great because Fr. Agostino is like a Gryffindor on fire and Fr. PT is like a soft-spoken, phlegmetic Ravenclaw. I understand that energy. 😂 (I'm also a phlegmetic Ravenclaw) One of my takeaways was Fr. Agostino's opinion that we can't just posture and leave it up to the government or orgs with ulterior political motives to make things right because he's seen firsthand how well THAT goes. However, all that means is that we as people of God have to dig in and do the work our own dang selves. They're also hopeful that this discussion of the police force being built on a foundation of racism will eventually lead to the discussion of Planned Parenthood being built on the same. They said that 42% of the pregnancies of the predominantly black and Latino population in the South Bronx end in abortion. 42%!!!!!!!!!!! If that is not a wake-up call that systemic racism is alive and well and we are abjectly failing women of color as a society Idk what is. But also their analogy that society is a MESS of a dilapidated house and we have to pick ONE place to start and stick with it if we really want to fix it up is also the truth.

4) Did y'all know about Our Lady of Kibohe? This is a Vatican-approved Marian apparition that appeared to three teenaged girls in Rwanda a little more than a decade before the genocide (which she warned them about). There is no one in Creation demons and Satan hate more than Our Lady, and there's no better weapon against them than the rosary. There has been a call from our brothers and sisters to rend our hearts and even if you don't see, think, or believe there is still racism within the Church, will you not pray for Mary and St. Michael to help continue keeping it that way, then?

Our Lady of Kibohe encouraged us to take up the practice of praying the Seven Sorrows Rosary. I tried it for the first time last week and I have to say, even with my super basic limited knowledge of black history in the United States, it was not hard to see how their suffering could easily be united to the sufferings of Christ and Our Lady.

I guess my conclusion is this: I have my own misgivings about blindly supporting any ol' cause that happens to be trending on whatever. The Black Lives Matter ORGANIZATION has a manifesto touting things that are contrary to the Catechism for SURE, but when my brothers and sisters in the Church are telling me they are in pain RIGHT NOW and saying, "Hey, listen... They're right about some things... These are the things and we've experienced it IN the Church..." then they deserve to be heard. We owe it to them to listen because they are a part of us. We need to expose these sins to the light instead of denying they exist or claiming to be past it. We ALSO need to be charitable to those in different parts of their journey. Is it FAIR to bear the burden of others' sins and make reparations for them? Heck no! But we do it. Jesus did it for us. We do it for our brothers and sisters in Purgatory. What's the difference for bearing it for our hard-hearted brothers and sisters on earth? Nobody is perfect but we all are made in the image and likeness of God and thus inherently carry human dignity.

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yourtoradorasextendedwarranty · 5 years

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The Problem with MSM

So I honestly don't have many followers. I'm also prone to going on tangents. And most of my posts are rooted in politics. Not by choice mind you. I was not the one that decided literally everything in existence is political. I'm also not the one that created the view points that want everything to be political. TL;DR At the bottom.

To start off however, I need you to understand the process of radicalization.

Find someone who feels discontent with how a situation is, or how their life is

Tell this person that what's happening to them is not their fault

Place the blame for this person's problems on a certain group (political group, racial group, religious group, etc.)

Talk to the person like you know how they feel, "drop your guard" and tell them "problems you've had that were not your fault" blaming that same group

Show them that they are either a victim or oppressed in some way, shape, or form.

Slowly start swaying their views further to the extreme, by showing them other instances of "others who are being attacked or are victims" of said group.

Promptly but softly oppose any "differing views" with warped information or flat out lies

Get them to start going to events and taking to others that have already been radicalized

Have you and another radicalized individual, keep track of this person and say you support them and their issues

Sit back and watch

Now this is a rough lost but more or less the bare bones basics of radicalizing other people. Though in some cases it takes more steps and in some others it takes less. So what does this have to do with MSM (Mainstream Media)? Quite a few things in modern day actually.

The job of MSM is to get you information, as fast as humanly possible. This however was not the first goal priority in the past. In the past, the first priority was to cover a story as factually as the could, and look for more information keeping people constantly updated. Here we get to our first real problem for Media today. Technology. The Advent of modern technology has been both a blessing and a curse in this regard. And of course I'm talking about the internet in its current form. The internet being the very center of information distribution in 2019. And it has been for almost 12 years now.

So what did this change? Basically everything we know today. "Old wives tales" are now a Google search away. Feeling sick? WebMD says you have Cancer. Looking for the next hour story? Check CNN's Twitter account. The Internet brought us a great, many things. But it has taken away just as many. MSM has had to slowly move operations into social media in order to try and stay relevant. This because many people have unplugged, and have gone full digital. The only real exceptions being places of business. And with the world at your finger tips at the clock of a button, being factual has lost its relevance. Not to mention that as far back as 2013-2014 activists started working for MSM companies. Most notably progressive activists. This causes many problems we currently see today. Below is an example of what a headline used to look like, and what most headlines look like now:

Normal headline: Shooting in Birmingham leaves 3 dead and several injured during city wide festival.

Headline now: White, Trump supporter, Nazi, KKK, skin head, punches 2 people in hate crime.

See the difference? The first headline shows the basic facts and dives into known details during the article. Often they'd avoid opinions all together. The second one one the other hand, blatantly discloses anything that could generate clicks. Why? Because true or not, outrage sells. So over the past several years, MSM has been slowly radicalizing us. But they do this on a bipartisan level.

Are you black? The cops will kill you, and the white man is evil. Can't find a job? Racism. Are you a woman? Then you're unhappy because "rape culture". Do you regret having sex with that guy? Well guess what? He actually raped you without you realizing. Are you white? You're evil. Are you strait? You're a monster and should give all your money to gay people. Are you a man? You are responsible for every rape ever committed. You're also a pedophile and violent. Are you a strait white man? Oh boy you won the jackpot because you're basically Hitler.

See my point here? MSM spends most of it's time trying to rage bait you into clicking their articles. And in doing so we've gotten so lazy as a country that half the time, we don't even read past the headlines. And MSM knows this. They don't care if you read what they write. They are just radicalizing you so they can keep feeding you outrage. Because the more often they do it, the more often you will click it, skim all of 3 lines and then hop on Twitter and talk about how outraged you are. Sure, we are just as to blame for letting it happen to us, but most of us used to have at least some trust in the media. But after SEVERAL severely awfully false hit pieces that were headline news for almost months, many of us have started staying away from MSM.

What incidents might I be talking about?

Covington Catholic controversy (Almost every media outlet took a 7 second clip and ran with it. Turns out, there was a full 2hr video out there, and the Native American man, whom CNN interviewed, lied his ass off. Most media also chose to ignore the VERY beginning of the video which showcased a group called The Black Hebrew Israelites. These individuals, called Trump a homosexual, called the Native Americans there "Uncle Tomahawk", and said Gay people should not have rights. THESE CATHOLIC STUDENTS, were appalled by this statement. But what did we see in the media? "Racist Maga hat kid threatens and blocks the path of a Poor innocent Native American man."

Duke Lacrosse. Years after these kids were crucified by the Media and many others, the girl actually came out saying it never happened. You know who reported on this? Next to no one.

Ferguson. Now as controversial as this one is, the media took and RAN with it. What followed after the skewed coverage was a cult like gathering that led to phrases like, "hands up don't shoot" and "oink oink, bang bang". But Obama had the issue federally investigated. Both witnesses and the coroner report said basically the same thing. That he was aggressively wrestling with the cop trying to take his gun. But, it's too late. Now all cops are evil, and Democrat politicians are quoting it like it happened yesterday, and claiming the cop guilty. Why? Because MSM already got what they needed. They radicalized the individuals they wanted, people who will come back to them for, "facts".

And what does all of this boil down to? A video that made me write this out.

2 things need to be said here. 1. The "manifesto" as it were, was actually debunked to have been uploaded by the shooter, by the site admin himself. As well as several other sources. 2. If, by some chance the manifesto was real, and he had someone upload it for him, he mentions several liberal talking points, like universal basic income, saving the environment, among other left policies.

But this brings me back to both the beginning and to this story. Assuming for a moment, the manifesto was his. How did this happen? Most of you might just jump and say, "RACIST NAZIS", or something slightly more colorful. But here is the thing. MSM is partly responsible for all of this. Assuming the conspiracy that the CIA or FBI is responsible is false, I agree with the YouTuber in the picture. I believe that if you belittle and berate someone enough over time, you can cause them to do extreme things. I mean look at this site. Look at Twitter. Look at MSM. "White people bad", "white people are evil" "K*LL all whites" "white privilege", "fuck men", "male tears", "man spreading", "mansplaining", "Yes all men". All of this. This is popular. This is a trend. And it's unacceptable. Because frankly, it's basically bullying someone into a corner. Personally? I've been told by a few companies that are scared of social justice warriors and the online hate mob, that their company is actively not hiring white individuals. And I wish, REALLY WISH, I was making that up.

Is it any wonder, that people who go to the internet as an escape end up in a low point in their lives and then decide to do something awful? And it's the same with school shootings too. The news puts out, the name, ethnicity, how tall they are, and their entire life story, for weeks at a time. And now for much longer, because they support the desire to ban guns. So they need these things to happen more often. So the glorify the shooter, and keep talking about him/them for months. But here is where the story gets fun.

Columbine's shooting, was actually supposed to be a bombing. The kids who did it? Not the "school losers" the media talked about. The trench coat club? They were not even apart of it. More info on that here. As well as other places on Google.

youtube

More or less This video covers what the media got wrong in their rush to cover everything. What they did not intend on, was making these two boys heros to those bullied in school. Mostly boys, who are torn down and told they aren't enough, that they don't matter, they are isolated, bullied, harassed. So they look for someone who stood up to their bullies. What they were given, was a sociopath who manipulated a suicidal boy into helping him commit mass murder. Almost all of MSM were quick to say they were bullied into it. What's worse however, is Parkland. The Parkland 5, (the students whom MSM propped up for months) one of them came out admitting, that she bullied the guy who shot up the school. Said he was weird and that she needed to do it. This is one of the teens the media has PROPPED UP, saying we should listen to their infinite wisdom. A girl who is probably half responsible for the shooting.

Start paying attention. Start doing research. And for the love of all that is holy, STOP BULLYING PEOPLE! I don't care what your narrative is, or what it means. IE:

White people are human

Black people are human

Hispanic people are human

Gay people are human

Strait people are human

Women are human

Men are human

Stop normalizing anything to the contrary. Because when you do, you become part of the problem.

TL;DR The media only cares about themselves and clicks. They don't care who they radicalize, so long as you keep giving them traffic. Which for them is money. Do your research, look into things, and don't bully people. I'm looking at you progressives.

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