once more thinking about The Morning Of New Years 2001 and its just now dawning on me that arakawa really chugged two bottles of booze and smoked A Fuck Bitch of ciggies Presumably before noon. like dire situation i know but god damn guy got a lot done in two hours

Mental Organization

Less a post to vent poison right now. More a post to untangle the ball of yarn and line the skeins up neatly in their compartments because right now it’s all one huge mishmash and I think it’s keeping me from what they call “executive function.”

Projects that I have a handle on but that I keep having to stop because I can’t make myself create something quality if my feelings are snarled

Illustrating a children’s story my friend wrote, called How To Be Good. I’m so happy with this. I’m no pro illustrator but my skills have grown a lot since I illustrated the other story (Purple is for Playtime). It’s so visually cheerful, it makes me happy to look at finished pages.

Hey Spacejerk. I love it so far but I’m apprehensive now. I’ve taken the device I was using to create this story and smashed it. How fast do I go now? I don’t really want to write a super long fanfiction. I don’t think I want this story to be longer than ten chapters more. But if I go too fast the audience will feel cheated.

Laughter Lines. I’m more sunk into the flow of this one, but constantly worried I’m going to screw up the device I’ve been laying dominoes for. It’s more complicated than my usual and, unlike previous fandoms where I could handwave these details, it will matter that everything is just right.

Elrohee. I just want to process things here. I want to be careful, too, because I don’t want it to get preachy. Ever. This series is not about being preachy and never was.

Wire trees. I created a larger wire tree recently and also a new kind of button tree that got me all excited. Then I started a tree with wire I didn’t like (because I was running out of colors) and I regret that. I don’t like the color combination. I’m staring at the half finished tree. I hate the waste, but I want to get back to being able to make trees. That half finished tree will stare me in the face forever if I don’t. So I’m standing up to throw it away now. No… No I’m not. The color combination isn’t hideous, just… not inspiring. If I add some really nice beads to it, it will perk up. I dont’ want to waste it.

Painting. Currently I have a half finished orange mask and a half finished wooden wiggly snake. Right now I have no inspiration to finish either, though I think maybe the orange mask might be flamey? Or sunny.

Crochet. I have two blankets in the works, one random-yarn blanket and one that has planned colors as a gift. They take up a lot of space.

Recording chapters of The Book of the Dun Cow aloud. This project is fun, though I do have to muster some will to make myself do it. Dramatic reading is kind of a joy, actually, especially with this book where I have all the voices down. I’m thinking of putting up the link to the whole playlist once the book is fully recorded.

Scrapbooking. I’m so happy. I have only a fraction of this project left to do, and then everything is nicely organized into binders.

And I get very angry and frustrated and kind of despair-y when I find I can’t move forward with these. It feels ridiculous because doing creative things HELPS me feel better, but I can’t do them when I feel bad??? What kind of Catch-22 is that???

Projects I am starting to get a handle on

Basic house cleaning. Or at least floors and bathrooms and countertops. Going to try and do a little bit every day that way it doesn’t become some weekly/monthly overwhelming chore I avoid like the plague.

House decorating. I’ve started getting into this and really liking it. I found a Texan-style wreath for the front door, placed 3 different house mats, and started tacking silk ivy around the kitchen windows. I’m actually kind of proud of myself about this.

Projects I am literally flailing through

Planning a wedding. Dear God, what am I doing? In the next two weeks I need to do the final ring purchase so that something has moved forward and finished. I also need to arrange the legal marriage so our paperwork is completed in the state of our residence and there aren’t any snarls with an out-of-state ceremony. That’s the goal for the next two weeks. Also how do you decorate??? (I ask, rhetorically. I’m looking through some stuff but I think I need to simplify my idea. Maybe instead of all four seasons, just winter/spring?)

Finding a therapist. The one I called isn’t responding. Don’t know how much leeway to give. If I haven’t heard back from her by Saturday night I’m going to try calling someone else. I need to move forward with getting approval for the surgery.

Krav Maga. I’m finally back and I’m doing well with jabs and punches, but anything that requires me to squat and rise multiple times is really hard. I’m very weak there, and while squatting my leg muscles just give out. I’ve looked up a beginner’s squatting routine that I’m going to TRY to enact because I really would love to stop humiliating myself in class. Been having panic issues before class (that stop once I’m in it, because there is NO ROOM in my being to have panic when I’m constantly moving) and would like that to stop. Prayed with my fiancée on the drive over and held his hand and that helped some.

Online Writing Course. Already panicked and frozen over a super vague writing prompt that doesn’t feel like enough explanation was provided. Afraid of being judged by peers. Afraid of critiquing peers because who am I to say this is good or bad? They are all in an Official Writing Course so they MUST know better than me, right? Even if it looks like they really don’t? Frozen.

Editing Best Served Cold. Froze again. Freaked out that I wasn’t a good enough writer to edit anything and froze. Freaking…

Patreon. This is a very on and off again thing. I don’t know how to self promote except through repetition which freaks me out. I don’t know how to save good things for “just the patrons” when I want to share it all. Don’t know if I should restructure all my tiers so there’s less tiers and less offerings? Very possible.

Etsy. Nobody really looks at the listings. I don’t blame them. I’m not a self promoter and I’m not a photographer. All my stuff looks better laid out on a table to sell but I don’t know where around here to do that so for now it just decorates the house. Maybe I should give up on Etsy again and just stick with my Facebook shop. People who use Etsy are serious about their business. This is a hobby I hope to sell a bit of and give the rest away.

Socially

Krav Maga class. I connected with at least one person who’s really sweet and nice. She’s more advanced than I am for sure but helps me feel a lot more at ease and I feel the need to apologize to her a lot less.

Small Group. My fiancée and I found a small group that’s an offshoot of the church we were trying. The church is a mega-church and we’re both still very wary of that. I felt very lost in a sea of people. But this group feels like a band of very real people, expressing doubts and pain while searching in the Bible together, eating pizza, and hanging out. Meets twice a month, plus one extra day that’s just girl’s night. I am looking forward to getting to know these people 3 Mondays a month.

D&D Shabbat night. Friday nights now we (light our brand new candles!) say the blessing, and eat a meal (now home cooked because ALL OUR KITCHEN IS FUNCTIONAL, WOOOOO), then retire to the great hall to play D&D. We are currently at 1 GM and 4 players, soon to be 5 players. We’re brand new so this will be glorious.

Health

BPV. Had a round of Benign Positional Vertigo for a few weeks. Finally cleared up. At least next time I’m suddenly dizzy out of nowhere I won’t think I’m dying.

Eating. Eating is weird lately. I’m walking this really fine line between getting obsessed with my weight and not caring. I have veered hard in the direction of aggressively “not caring” most of my life, partly because I was afraid of the eating disorders my friends suffered from. I’m doing pretty well with my eating, choosing my food carefully for one-main-meal-a-day-plus-light-snacks eating and trying to keep it all under 1400 cal. I don’t have a lot of impulse control when it comes to eating so I flat out can’t keep foods in the house “just for that one treat day” because that one treat day is TODAY no matter what I say to myself. Best I can do is limit my access to those foods (including turning down SOME opportunities to go out and eat). Impulse control gets worse with wonky emotions because I will eat ALL THE FEELS. Lately my main meal is (one can) tuna salad sandwich on onion roll, which is filling enough, then I eat plums and flavored rice cakes or salted-but-not-buttered-popcorn or pickles for the rest of the day. I picked up a few small soups which look good. Came to the realization recently that I really do need to stop thinking of this as something I do “Just until I get to goal weight.” In order to maintain the healthy weight I hope to achieve, I will still need to eat well. I don’t get to let loose just because I made it. So I have reluctantly begun adopting the idea that I need to do right by my eating habits as a permanent lifestyle change. I’d like to be around longer and in order to do so I need to take better care of myself than I have been. But I can feel obsession right on the edge of my consciousness and that’s a scary feeling. I’m trying not to fall into obsession or let it drive me off the other edge of extremes to not caring. Walking the tightrope carefully.

Sleep. Sleep is weird too. Some nights I wake up a lot, then I can get up in the morning easier. Some nights I zonk out straight through and then it’s super hard to get up in the morning. Still wish that I could not be so motion sensitive. I used to be Dusty-sleeps-like-a-rock and now I’m a light sleeper. All someone has to do is call my name and I jolt up.

Trich. Been obsessively tweezing a lot more. Gaps in every eyelid. Unhappy about this.

This Blog and Processing

I don’t always know what to do on here anymore. I post fanfiction, but the part of my life that I would normally process out loud... I can’t really do that now. It actually directly impacts someone this time. Feels like words are measured with a lot more care instead of just spilling out willy nilly and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I know that things knot up inside some more, but does that mean I just need to find a different not-so-public outlet for these things? It hasn’t really worked well so far.

Ever since the beginning of the year I have wondered to myself if I am too public with things and I’ve been a step more self conscious about it (yeah, weird to say on this complete textual vomit, right? But it’s been building for a really long time and I need this) since the end of last year. I let some words get under my skin that I shouldn’t have, but they’re hard to shake because I don’t know how much objective truth is in them.

Dealing with unfamiliar feelings that I want no part of. Anger isn’t unfamiliar, but it’s unwelcome. Boundaries book says anger is a good alarm bell, but I just… don’t want to. I don’t know where the line for “good anger” is and I don’t know how to do anger without setting every bridge around me on fire. Hatred is unfamiliar and even more unwelcome. It feels like tasty, warm poison. I want it, badly. I want it as a defense against past, current, and future pain. I want to rear up and yell “Not this time!” when I see patterns from my past repeating and I want icicles dripping from my words. But it’s deeply wrong. This isn’t what the God I serve taught, and I know hatred will poison me to the core of who I am. I get that those ideas have been hackneyed to death with pop catchphrases and whatnot, but I mean… that doesn’t make it any less true. And it’s going to be really ugly and messy and I don’t want to deal with it when being ice queen would be a hell of a lot easier. Still, I don’t know how NOT to hate at this moment, so when I’m aware I give God permission to change this in me because I can’t/don’t know how to change it myself right now.

Sometimes I wish I had more to say on the Dear Someone tag, but I know who Someone is and I tell him in person every day and it’s the most beautiful, wonderful part of my life right now.

 I say a lot of negative stuff. Even if it’s true stuff, I tend to focus on processing negatives a lot. I want to figure out ways to process positive and good things. I think I’m afraid of sounding like I’m gloating or shoving good things in the face of people who are hurting. But. I also want to share the joyful things in my life. And be grateful for them publicly as I am privately. I want to rewire my brain so that the first thing that comes to mind is not what’s wrong, but what’s right. I don’t want to do this in a fakey way, that sort of front really bothers me, but there has to be some genuine way to express gratitude and joy on a more regular basis. Pain isn’t the only genuine thing there is.

I want to process publicly some of my Bible reading and I have done so, but every time I’m afraid I might be stepping on someone’s toes or making someone angry at me. I don’t want to start fights but I also want to share stuff. I don’t want to mislead people, but I want to explore.

I’m trying so hard to accept that I’m happy doing what I like, but when “doing what I like” gives out on me because I’m emotional I get so angry and upset and fearful and I wonder if I’m really okay with that at all. Or is it just my mental illness acting out, then? It’s hard to tell if that’s what’s clouding my thought process and dampening my will to act.

Misc

I feel bad that my To Do Today or Today’s Goals posts are not working for me as well as they were at the start. It feels like failure.

I feel grief and anger and uncertainty about my family situation, both immediate and extended. I still don’t know how to balance the fact that I’ve split off to start a new family (just me and my fiancée, not kids) and that this one is supposed to be my priority, while still loving the family I grew up in. Or what love looks like with distance. What I’ve been engaging in doesn’t look or feel like actual relationship.

I want to bake. I want to bake lots of sweets. Apple pies, I want to make applesauce and jam (not baking, I know), I want to make lembas bread and chocolate chip cookies and ALL OF THE THINGS.

My area is a freaking mess and I need to fix that by tomorrow. And also make Miso soup for 5.

Stressed about trying to keep all aforementioned balls in the air without melting down or losing track of any.

I think there’s more. But. I’m tired. And I need to go to bed. And this… I think this helps. I’ve shelved a lot of brain skeins tonight. Maybe I’ll be a little more productive tomorrow.

Sick Day Secrets

I never really understood why people complained when they were sick. To me it made no sense at all. Why would you want to tell people about how weak you are at the moment? My twin brother, Luke, however, liked to milk being sick for all that it was worth. In reality, he just enjoyed being lazy. - I woke up in a cold sweat. I was definitely getting sick, which was something I hated with a passion. I hated how I was treated while sick, so I could not let anybody know. I toss and turn the rest of the night, but I'm eventually able to fall asleep again. - I wake again to the sound of Luke throwing up. Not only did we have to be born on the same day, but we get sick on the same day too. I get out of bed and go into his room to wait for him to come back. "Jai?" Luke asked when he saw me on his bed. I just opened my arms as a form of comfort. It's weird since usually Luke hates affection, but he craves it whenever he gets sick. "Jai, are you sick, too?" Luke asked me tiredly. "No. Of course I'm not. Just go back to sleep." I shushed my twin. Sometimes, it was as if we shared an immune system. We always got sick together and we always knew when the other wasn't feeling well. "Ok." Luke mumbled before drifting off again. I smiled outwardly, but really I felt terrible. I slowly let myself drift off as well. - "Good morning my little sunshine!" I'm woken by the screaming of my older brother. "Oh, Jai. What are you doing in here?" "Luke doesn't feel good. I think he's sick." I supplied. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to be around him, then. The last thing we need is two sick twins." Beau advised. It was advice that I did not need or want. "I don't get sick!" I ground out harshly causing Beau to laugh. "Okay Mr. Grumpypants. Still you should get up. We have a lot to do today. Since Luke's sick, you'll have to fill in for him." Beau informed me. Just great, Luke's sick and I have to fill in because I'm his twin brother. Could they get any more original? I slowly pushed Luke off of me and stood up. A wave of dizziness overtook me as I fell down again. Beau gave me a pointed look. "My legs are asleep." I was quick to find an excuse. "I'll be down in a minute. Promise." Beau rolled his eyes at me before leaving the room. I sighed. Today was not going to be a good day. I tried standing up again, and this time I succeeded. The nausea, however, decided it was going to mock me instead. I was strong, though. I could handle it. "Jai?" Luke called out before he broke out into hacking coughs. "Where are you going? Don't leave me." "It's a busy day, Luke. You just try to get some rest and I'll check on you as soon as I can." I promised him. "But shouldn't you get some rest too?" Luke stared up at me questionably. "You're sicker than I am." "I'm not sick, Luke." "Whatever you say, Jai-Jai...." - I had finally made it downstairs after much struggling. I felt weak and overall strained, but I couldn't let anyone know that. I dont know how anyone could be vulnerable enough to tell people when they get sick. "Look who finally decided to Grace is with their presence, Beau!" Daniel exclaimed. I shot him a glare which immediately shut him up. "About time you showed up, Princess." Beau teased me before setting a plate full of pancakes on the table for me. I rolled my eyes at him, but I really couldn't expect anything less. "Yup." I spoke confidently. I stared down at the pancakes. The nausea was really setting in now, and the smell made me almost gag. I could do this, though. I picked up my fork. I tore into the disgusting food in front of me as fast as I could, swallowing every bite. It took a lot of effort, but I was able to not throw it all back up. I know Beau already thought I was sick solely because Luke was sick, so I couldn't let him find out about this. I stood up and started walking towards the door, intent on leaving and getting this horrid day over with. I stumbled a little on my way when black dots  started to dance through my vision. I powered through it when I probably shouldn't have. I'm  prone to blackouts, and I'm not supposed to push mylike that. "C'mon you pansies." I called over my shoulder at Daniel and Beau. They shared a look that definitely meant that they were going to terrorize me some way. Just what I needed for the perfect day. Beau and Daniel met me outside the house where I learned we were just going to walking around making bird noises before meeting in an alley way in town with some other Youtuber to drink raw eggs mixed with cinnamon and chili powder. Let me just say I couldn't wait. After harassing countless people with Beau on my back, because he just couldn't stand to walk himself, we had finally arrived at the alley way. "Aww!" Daniel moaned. "Kian just texted me. Him and Jc can't make it." "Oh well. More fun for us." Beau cheered. I started to notice then that the world had started to spin really fast and it was getting unimaginably hotter. "Jai, are you okay?" I'm not sure who asked that question, but I nodded my head anyways. "Yeah it's just really hot out here." I explained. My knees started to shake right as Beau handed me a glass of something. I thought there were supposed to be eggs involved, but now I'm just not sure of anything. I felt my eyes roll back into my head as my vision faded to black. - It felt like someone was carrying me, but I just wasn't sure anymore. What was happening? "WHAT HAPPENED?!" I heard someone scream, but I just didn't know who it was. They seemed upset, though. "I don't know he just went down out of nowhere." It might have been a different voice, but at the same time it could have been the same. "I should have said something! I knew he was sick!" "Not sick." I mumbled, forcing my eyes open to meet the eyes of my twin brother. "Jai! You're awake!" Luke yelled. I tried to sit up only to find I was in Beau's arms. "Put meh down Beau!" I commanded. My voice didn't come out right, so it didn't sound like I wanted it to. Beau carefully put me on the couch and forced me to lie down. "What happened?" "You passed out again." Daniel supplied and I groaned. " I knew you were sick!" Luke nagged. "And don't even try to say you aren't. No one believes that anyway." "Fine. I'm sick, but it's really not a big deal!" "Yes it is, Jai" Beau argued softly. Luke, however, was angry. "Not a big deal? You passed out Jai. You passed out, because you over- exerted yourself again. When will you learn? It's okay to let people help." "Yes it is!" I argued back. "I dont need help. I'm tough and I can take care of myself." "Obviously not, if you let yourself get so sick you lose consciousness." "Okaaay!" Beau interrupted our fight. "Jai your health is far more important than your pride. I know you don't like being babied, so we won't baby you unless you let it get to that point. Deal?" "Yeah." I agreed, although I really didn't want to. "And Luke. You have to remember how shy Jai can be. If he doesn't want to be babied, then don't push him. Now both of you up to bed." "Yes, Mum." Luke and I managed to chorus together before Luke dragged me up to his room so he could make sure I didn't do anything to further damage my health.

Exploring the Connections Between Your Mental and Spiritual Life and Your Financial Life

This is the second entry in an eight part series exploring the connections between your finances and other areas of your life. Last week, I started a series exploring the connections between personal finance and the other spheres of my life. The first entry covered the connections between ones physical life and financial life, and today were looking at ones mental and spiritual life and financial life. As noted in the first entry, I tend to view life as a bunch of spheres, or areas of focus. I really like Michael Hyatts list of nine such spheres: physical, mental/spiritual, intellectual, social, marital, parental, avocational (hobbies), vocational, and financial they cover much of what life is all about. Ive come to view these spheres as deeply interconnected, in that success in one sphere is usually linked in some significant ways to success in other spheres (and failures are similarly connected) and that knowing the connections can help people figure out how to succeed in both areas at once. Today, were going to look at a combined sphere, the mental and spiritual. I combine them because I find its often hard to tease apart the two. What Is the Mental and Spiritual Life? When I refer to ones mental and spiritual life, I mean the state of ones mind and emotional well being. Do I realize my own potential? Can I cope with the stress of life and work? Can I work productively and make forward progress on things? Can I make positive contributions to the lives of others? Do I have a sense of purpose in life? The core matter, for me, is do I feel well in a non-physical sense and have a positive sense of purpose and place in the world for yourself and for others? Answering that question well offers a bunch of financial benefits. First, youre able to handle stress and challenges without throwing money at the problem. If youre able to handle the stresses of everyday life and of professional life without regular interruption to your ability to handle the tasks demanded of you, youre going to be much better equipped to not only earn a good income, but to be able to manage your own life well without paying others to provide services for you. Second, you feel a sense of internal purpose rather than external purpose, which often guides people toward self-directed action rather than directed action. Simply knowing what you should do next and having the internal motivation to do so again makes it easier to earn an income and take care of your life responsibilities without excessive cost. Third, that same sense of purpose guides you toward meaningful goals, which makes it much easier to direct your finances toward long-term purposes. Having some sense of internal purpose and an understanding that your actions today translate toward fulfilling that purpose opens the door to long term goals like building a career and saving for retirement, which are necessary foundations for financial success in the modern world. Finally, taking basic steps to maintain my own mental and spiritual health each day drastically reduces the chance of a downward spiral in those areas, which can result in mental health costs and money spent seeking spiritual answers. In both areas, addressing those concerns regularly can keep molehills (which you can handle yourself or which can be resolved inexpensively) from developing into mountains (which require extensive help to overcome and can be disruptive to personal and professional life). Mental and spiritual crises can still occur, but theyre much less likely to occur. Here are five low cost strategies I use for maintaining my own mental and spiritual health. Strategy #1 Make Meditation and/or Prayer a Regular Part of Your Day I really dont distinguish between meditation and prayer because the practices are very similar. A prayer is effectively the same thing as a meditation using a mantra (a word or phrase or series of phrases used as a focal point for meditation) in terms of practical action, with the biggest difference coming as a result of ones theology and religious beliefs. Regardless of what form your religious beliefs take, a meditative or prayer practice is incredibly powerful at quieting the voices in your mind, that internal monologue that often never shuts up. Youre much more able to ignore it, which can have incredible benefits in terms of your sense of well being. Im not going to address whether its a psychological trick or a gift from a higher power, but I will say that it really works well, especially when you make it a daily routine. If you do it every day, it turns the volume down on that internal monologue that often leads to a lot of mental and spiritual discomfort. My routine is a really simple one. I simply set a timer on my phone, sit down in a comfortable position (in a chair or on the floor), and close my eyes. Then, I focus on something I often use my breath, but you can use a particular part of your body or a word or a phrase or a short prayer. Just focus on whatever that target is. If you feel your mind drifting away from it, bring it back to focus without feeling judgmental about it everyone does this, its part of the practice. If youre focusing on breathing, notice the air going in and out of you. If youre focused on a word or a phrase or a short prayer, repeat it slowly in your mind. Thats it just do it every day and youll start to notice benefits. Theyre not life-transformative, but theyre real and quite worthwhile, especially if its a daily practice. I personally find great value in doing this as a daily practice. Even if I didnt get any long term benefits at all from doing this, it still serves as a period of time each day for me to just be calm clear my head and collect my thoughts and keep my mind from rambling on and on. Its incredibly valuable as a time to connect with your preferred spiritual or religious tradition as well. Strategy #2 Start a Journaling Practice A journaling practice goes hand in hand with meditation. Its simply an opportunity to collect your thoughts and get them out of your head in a private way thats intended just for you. It can help you figure out a problem, organize a plan, dump out a bunch of stuff youre trying to remember or make sense of, and you can do it all at once. You can unleash feelings and thoughts without reservation and chip through walls youve built up around yourself, all without worrying about what anyone else might think of them. My personal practice is three morning pages, which I learned from Julia Camerons wonderful book The Artists Way. I simply fill up three pages in a journal each morning with stream of consciousness thought I just write whatevers on my mind. I find that doing this often causes me to start going through a process where I write down one thought and in the process of doing so a good follow-up thought pops into my head, and I write that down and the process repeats itself until I start reaching some good conclusions. (Given that journals are often very different in size, I actually use a timer for this rather than aiming to fill three pages; the timer is how long it takes me to fill three pages in my normal-sized journals, but sometimes I use bigger or smaller notebooks for this.) There are lots of other ways to journal; the key is to just find a format where you feel okay dumping out your own unguarded and unvarnished thoughts on paper. The key is to just make that dumping out of your thoughts into a regular routine. The goal of all of this is to simply clear away a lot of mental junk in your head. I tend to think of my brain as being like a bedroom, where I might toss dirty clothes or leave unread books lying around, and journaling is what I do to clean up that room. If I dont do it, eventually the whole floor is covered in crap and its hard to move around without stumbling over stuff. Journaling is like cleaning the room. Strategy #3 Use Positive Affirmations By positive affirmation, I dont actually mean things like Im good enough! Im smart enough! What Im actually talking about is simply reviewing the things youre good at and regularly reminding yourself of them. The truth is that everyone brings at least some gifts to lifes table, but its easy to lose track of what those things are and that sense of not having value can lead to a serious downward turn in a persons mental and spiritual state. This all starts by simply asking yourself what good traits and skills you possess. Its often easiest to do this when youre in a positive mood already, but if you find it difficult to do this, turn to someone in your life who is a positive influence and ask them for help with this. The goal is to identify positive traits you have, positive skills you have, and things you have achieved. Almost everyone can create a short list of such things. Then, use those items regularly as positive affirmations. For example, I might say, I am a good writer. I can write material that helps the lives of others and do it at a reasonably fast pace, or I might say, I am a good husband. I have maintained a successful marriage for more than fifteen years, or I might say, I am a good parent. I have a strong relationship with each of my three children. Just make a short list of these positive affirmations and say them to yourself each day. Remind yourself of each of those things, so you never lose track of the positive things about you and the positive things you bring into the world. Such affirmations are an extremely powerful counterbalance to the negative thoughts we often have about ourselves. Those negative thoughts are often the result of an internal monologue run amok, so such positive affirmations often work hand in hand with the first strategy, meditation, which seeks to quiet down that internal monologue. Strategy #4 Express Meaningful Gratitude Consider for a moment the people in your life that have helped you and have improved your life in some real way. Consider the other things in your life that bring a positive influence to you. Those are all good things in your life. Take the time to appreciate them. One easy way to do this is to simply list a few of them each day as part of a journaling practice. Just include a list of a few things youre grateful for, whether its people or things or ideas or events or whatever it is that has brought something positive into your life. Its also a good idea to sometimes take it even further. If someone has had a positive impact on your life, send that person a handwritten note. Write down what theyve done for you and say directly how much you appreciate it. Not only is this an incredibly powerful thing to receive, its also an incredibly powerful thing to send. This type of gratitude feels good because its a direct demonstration to you that you have good things in your life. Even in moments where you feel some level of despair, gratitude is there to remind you that there are good things that persist, that everything is not gray. Strategy #5 Give Extra Attention to Your Physical and Social Health Your physical and social health are strongly connected to your mental and spiritual health. A healthy body is a powerful support for healthy brain chemistry, and a strong social network is also an incredibly powerful support for a healthy mind and spirit. I covered positive steps for physical health just last week. Exercise outside of the gym by finding physical activities you enjoy doing and making them a part of your life. Get a grip on your calorie intake and eat a higher proportion of fruits and vegetables. Cut back (or, ideally, eliminate) vices: drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, soda, and sugar-laden snacks. Go to bed earlier so you can rise naturally without an alarm most days. Practice good hygiene: wash your hands often, brush your teeth daily, and bathe regularly. Those are great steps for your physical health, which can really support your mental health. As for positive steps for a good social life, it comes down to spending time with people on a regular basis. Yes, some people are introverts and value their me time greatly, but some sense of community and social contact is valuable for everyone. Keep in touch with good friends and family members. Attend social events and dont just sit or stand in the corner. Invite other people to do things, and when invited, accept as often as possible or decline in a polite way that opens the door for follow-up. Try a variety of religious experiences to find one that works for you. Those steps are all powerful supports for ones mental and spiritual health. Final Thoughts Your mental and spiritual health is an invaluable and central part of your life. If you feel positive about yourself and positive about your place in the world and universe, youre much better equipped to handle the stresses and challenges of daily life. If youre struggling with those things, even the normal routines of life can be a real chore. Investing some of your time to strengthen the foundations of your mental and spiritual life can bring about powerful financial results. Youll spend less on services, on stress reduction, on short-term sources of fleeting joy, and on mental health support. Over the long term, that money can make a profound difference in your financial life. The steps really are easy. Take time to meditate or pray daily. Write down your unguarded thoughts regularly. Reflect on the positive aspects of yourself. Express gratitude for the good people and good things in your life. Keep an eye on your physical health and build a good social life. Those steps arent a perfect answer for everyone. If you still find mental or spiritual issues to be a struggle, dont be afraid to seek help to get those matters straight. These tactics are mostly useful for helping you keep things on a good path rather than resolving a truly difficult situation. The focus here is on overcoming molehills; look for much further help if you are dealing with mountains. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/exploring-the-connections-between-your-mental-and-spiritual-life-and-your-financial-life/

hot babe hairy pussy - Ruthless Photos Of Hairy Girls Strategies Exploited

In fact, Im usually fairly quiet - not shy, but definitely not a atk natural and hairy flirter or anything like that. I hope this is the right place to post and that you guys enjoy the story haha! First of all let me explain that I am not at all an outgoing ladies man or anything of the sort. One day, a few friends were heading out to a rock club they enjoyed and asked if I wanted to tag along. By the time I got to the club, I was definitely tipsy and in that state of faux-confidence. Im not really into rock or metal, but decided Id go too just because I was still new to clubbing and the novelty had yet to wear off. We had a few drinks at one of their houses and set off for the bar. However, once Ive had one too many drinks I often naked girls hairy pussies seem to think Im a super confident pick up artist (whether I want to or not), which inevitably ends up in me making a fool of myself. Turning around, I noticed a woman standing around waiting to be served too. Apart from the one time it actually worked. The queue was pretty big at this point, and Im not particularly large or aggressive enough to just barge past, so I got stuck at the back. We got our drinks after a while and I drank mine quicker than Ive ever drank anything in my life. She was pretty hot to be honest, not my normal "type" but definitely attractive; perhaps 510, black hair, average built dressed in a leathery sorta goth outfit. At this point Id only ever been sexually active with two girls, both of which were during serious relationships, so I had absolutely no experience picking up girls or anything like that. My memory of this point is slightly hazy, but after a while we were dancing together - my hands around her waist occasionally drifting down onto her ass, her arms around my neck. They were in absolute hysterics (and havent let me forget it since), but ultimately cheered me on. I had recently turned 18 and had just finished a fairly long-term relationship. She must have been a little taken aback, but laughed and agreed. Before I knew what I was doing I headed over to her and asked if I could get her a drink. It was really quite intimidating to be honest, she had skulls and candles and loads of goth stuff decorating her house. To this day I dont quite know if she meant for me to go back with her, but we got in the taxi together regardless. We kissed a little more in the taxi, but at this point I was starting to sober up and my usual self-consciousness and social awkwardness was starting to return. At the time I had been living in a fairly quiet area with my parents where there really wasnt anything (or anyone) like this around, so I was starting to freak out a little, but luckily out of sheer horniness - and probably because I dont think Id dare explaining that I was getting a bit anxious about it - I stuck with it. Slowly, she gravitated down my body until she pulled off my jeans and started sucking my cock. She pulled me into her bedroom and onto her bed where hairy pussy women pictures she climbed on top of me and began to kiss me some more, undoing my jeans in the process. Getting out of the taxi, she laughed and pulled me into her flat. If you liked this article therefore you would like to be given more info about teens hairy pussy video generously visit the web-site. I was totally startled and sort of just laid there and watched awkwardly, trying desperately not to cum as she sucked. After a few minutes she stopped and told me it was her turn, before sitting up and taking off her clothes. Lying down next to me, she spread her legs and gestured for me to get between them. I was already rock hard and still in a state of disbelief, but went with it as much as I could, kissing her back and holding her waist. It was probably definitely not the best licking out shed ever got, but I tried my best and I think she must have taken pity on me, and after maybe 3 minutes or so she giggled and pulled me onto my back before climbing on top of me and sliding my cock inside her. Two of my friends had gone off to find a table whilst the other went to the bathroom, with me going straight to the bar to get another drink. Like I said before, she had a pretty good body, definitely by far the hottest woman Ive ever been with, but I was busy concentrating all my effort into not cumming or offending her. It took all of my strength not to cum, but after a little while she climbed off me and got back on her back with her legs in the air, telling me to give it to her like that. She grabbed my hands and placed them on her ass, telling me lots of sexy things and clawing at my chest as she bounced on me. I managed a few more thrusts before saying something along the lines of "I gotta cum", to which she laughed a bit and said "dont cum inside me, cum on me". She mentioned to me that shed have to head home soon, and me being the drunken horny 18 year old I was decided Id go and tell my friends Id pulled and would see them tomorrow. Using those precious seconds to try and recharge some stamina, I got up and between her legs again, sliding my cock inside her. I really wish I could remember properly, but somehow we began kissing and she gave me a hickey or two. She woke me up the next morning and offered to call me a taxi home. She began rubbing her pussy as I began to thrust, but I knew I was in trouble and about to cum any moment. Well, more accurately, I pulled out, shot one huge load over her head and onto the headboard and pillow behind her, and then the rest ended up on her belly. Id never had sex without a condom before, and had I been totally sober and not ever so slightly terrified I would definitely have gone through the whole "not without protection" speech, but didnt seem to have much choice in the matter. Theyd managed to find this girls facebook and found out she was 34, almost double my age - and to this day they have not let me forget it. After sleeping a little more, I woke up with a lot of messages from my friends. I was extremely embarrassed and awkward, but thanked her for letting me stay and promptly headed off home. So yeah, hope you enjoyed the story! Totally overwhelmed and exhausted, I collapsed onto the bed and passed out. I was unbelievably embarrassed and a little worried for my health (booked an STD test the week later - came back negative thankfully) and stalked her facebook for several weeks to make sure she wasnt pregnant, but in hindsight it was the single hottest moment of my life. Id only ever eaten my ex out and was getting really worried shed get mad at me and beat me up or something, but I sheepishly shuffled down and began licking. Pulling out, I came on her belly. PM me if you want to know more or if you want to hear any other stories, but that was by far the most standout one.

Exploring the Connections Between Your Mental and Spiritual Life and Your Financial Life

This is the second entry in an eight part series exploring the connections between your finances and other areas of your life. Last week, I started a series exploring the connections between personal finance and the other spheres of my life. The first entry covered the connections between ones physical life and financial life, and today were looking at ones mental and spiritual life and financial life. As noted in the first entry, I tend to view life as a bunch of spheres, or areas of focus. I really like Michael Hyatts list of nine such spheres: physical, mental/spiritual, intellectual, social, marital, parental, avocational (hobbies), vocational, and financial they cover much of what life is all about. Ive come to view these spheres as deeply interconnected, in that success in one sphere is usually linked in some significant ways to success in other spheres (and failures are similarly connected) and that knowing the connections can help people figure out how to succeed in both areas at once. Today, were going to look at a combined sphere, the mental and spiritual. I combine them because I find its often hard to tease apart the two. What Is the Mental and Spiritual Life? When I refer to ones mental and spiritual life, I mean the state of ones mind and emotional well being. Do I realize my own potential? Can I cope with the stress of life and work? Can I work productively and make forward progress on things? Can I make positive contributions to the lives of others? Do I have a sense of purpose in life? The core matter, for me, is do I feel well in a non-physical sense and have a positive sense of purpose and place in the world for yourself and for others? Answering that question well offers a bunch of financial benefits. First, youre able to handle stress and challenges without throwing money at the problem. If youre able to handle the stresses of everyday life and of professional life without regular interruption to your ability to handle the tasks demanded of you, youre going to be much better equipped to not only earn a good income, but to be able to manage your own life well without paying others to provide services for you. Second, you feel a sense of internal purpose rather than external purpose, which often guides people toward self-directed action rather than directed action. Simply knowing what you should do next and having the internal motivation to do so again makes it easier to earn an income and take care of your life responsibilities without excessive cost. Third, that same sense of purpose guides you toward meaningful goals, which makes it much easier to direct your finances toward long-term purposes. Having some sense of internal purpose and an understanding that your actions today translate toward fulfilling that purpose opens the door to long term goals like building a career and saving for retirement, which are necessary foundations for financial success in the modern world. Finally, taking basic steps to maintain my own mental and spiritual health each day drastically reduces the chance of a downward spiral in those areas, which can result in mental health costs and money spent seeking spiritual answers. In both areas, addressing those concerns regularly can keep molehills (which you can handle yourself or which can be resolved inexpensively) from developing into mountains (which require extensive help to overcome and can be disruptive to personal and professional life). Mental and spiritual crises can still occur, but theyre much less likely to occur. Here are five low cost strategies I use for maintaining my own mental and spiritual health. Strategy #1 Make Meditation and/or Prayer a Regular Part of Your Day I really dont distinguish between meditation and prayer because the practices are very similar. A prayer is effectively the same thing as a meditation using a mantra (a word or phrase or series of phrases used as a focal point for meditation) in terms of practical action, with the biggest difference coming as a result of ones theology and religious beliefs. Regardless of what form your religious beliefs take, a meditative or prayer practice is incredibly powerful at quieting the voices in your mind, that internal monologue that often never shuts up. Youre much more able to ignore it, which can have incredible benefits in terms of your sense of well being. Im not going to address whether its a psychological trick or a gift from a higher power, but I will say that it really works well, especially when you make it a daily routine. If you do it every day, it turns the volume down on that internal monologue that often leads to a lot of mental and spiritual discomfort. My routine is a really simple one. I simply set a timer on my phone, sit down in a comfortable position (in a chair or on the floor), and close my eyes. Then, I focus on something I often use my breath, but you can use a particular part of your body or a word or a phrase or a short prayer. Just focus on whatever that target is. If you feel your mind drifting away from it, bring it back to focus without feeling judgmental about it everyone does this, its part of the practice. If youre focusing on breathing, notice the air going in and out of you. If youre focused on a word or a phrase or a short prayer, repeat it slowly in your mind. Thats it just do it every day and youll start to notice benefits. Theyre not life-transformative, but theyre real and quite worthwhile, especially if its a daily practice. I personally find great value in doing this as a daily practice. Even if I didnt get any long term benefits at all from doing this, it still serves as a period of time each day for me to just be calm clear my head and collect my thoughts and keep my mind from rambling on and on. Its incredibly valuable as a time to connect with your preferred spiritual or religious tradition as well. Strategy #2 Start a Journaling Practice A journaling practice goes hand in hand with meditation. Its simply an opportunity to collect your thoughts and get them out of your head in a private way thats intended just for you. It can help you figure out a problem, organize a plan, dump out a bunch of stuff youre trying to remember or make sense of, and you can do it all at once. You can unleash feelings and thoughts without reservation and chip through walls youve built up around yourself, all without worrying about what anyone else might think of them. My personal practice is three morning pages, which I learned from Julia Camerons wonderful book The Artists Way. I simply fill up three pages in a journal each morning with stream of consciousness thought I just write whatevers on my mind. I find that doing this often causes me to start going through a process where I write down one thought and in the process of doing so a good follow-up thought pops into my head, and I write that down and the process repeats itself until I start reaching some good conclusions. (Given that journals are often very different in size, I actually use a timer for this rather than aiming to fill three pages; the timer is how long it takes me to fill three pages in my normal-sized journals, but sometimes I use bigger or smaller notebooks for this.) There are lots of other ways to journal; the key is to just find a format where you feel okay dumping out your own unguarded and unvarnished thoughts on paper. The key is to just make that dumping out of your thoughts into a regular routine. The goal of all of this is to simply clear away a lot of mental junk in your head. I tend to think of my brain as being like a bedroom, where I might toss dirty clothes or leave unread books lying around, and journaling is what I do to clean up that room. If I dont do it, eventually the whole floor is covered in crap and its hard to move around without stumbling over stuff. Journaling is like cleaning the room. Strategy #3 Use Positive Affirmations By positive affirmation, I dont actually mean things like Im good enough! Im smart enough! What Im actually talking about is simply reviewing the things youre good at and regularly reminding yourself of them. The truth is that everyone brings at least some gifts to lifes table, but its easy to lose track of what those things are and that sense of not having value can lead to a serious downward turn in a persons mental and spiritual state. This all starts by simply asking yourself what good traits and skills you possess. Its often easiest to do this when youre in a positive mood already, but if you find it difficult to do this, turn to someone in your life who is a positive influence and ask them for help with this. The goal is to identify positive traits you have, positive skills you have, and things you have achieved. Almost everyone can create a short list of such things. Then, use those items regularly as positive affirmations. For example, I might say, I am a good writer. I can write material that helps the lives of others and do it at a reasonably fast pace, or I might say, I am a good husband. I have maintained a successful marriage for more than fifteen years, or I might say, I am a good parent. I have a strong relationship with each of my three children. Just make a short list of these positive affirmations and say them to yourself each day. Remind yourself of each of those things, so you never lose track of the positive things about you and the positive things you bring into the world. Such affirmations are an extremely powerful counterbalance to the negative thoughts we often have about ourselves. Those negative thoughts are often the result of an internal monologue run amok, so such positive affirmations often work hand in hand with the first strategy, meditation, which seeks to quiet down that internal monologue. Strategy #4 Express Meaningful Gratitude Consider for a moment the people in your life that have helped you and have improved your life in some real way. Consider the other things in your life that bring a positive influence to you. Those are all good things in your life. Take the time to appreciate them. One easy way to do this is to simply list a few of them each day as part of a journaling practice. Just include a list of a few things youre grateful for, whether its people or things or ideas or events or whatever it is that has brought something positive into your life. Its also a good idea to sometimes take it even further. If someone has had a positive impact on your life, send that person a handwritten note. Write down what theyve done for you and say directly how much you appreciate it. Not only is this an incredibly powerful thing to receive, its also an incredibly powerful thing to send. This type of gratitude feels good because its a direct demonstration to you that you have good things in your life. Even in moments where you feel some level of despair, gratitude is there to remind you that there are good things that persist, that everything is not gray. Strategy #5 Give Extra Attention to Your Physical and Social Health Your physical and social health are strongly connected to your mental and spiritual health. A healthy body is a powerful support for healthy brain chemistry, and a strong social network is also an incredibly powerful support for a healthy mind and spirit. I covered positive steps for physical health just last week. Exercise outside of the gym by finding physical activities you enjoy doing and making them a part of your life. Get a grip on your calorie intake and eat a higher proportion of fruits and vegetables. Cut back (or, ideally, eliminate) vices: drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, soda, and sugar-laden snacks. Go to bed earlier so you can rise naturally without an alarm most days. Practice good hygiene: wash your hands often, brush your teeth daily, and bathe regularly. Those are great steps for your physical health, which can really support your mental health. As for positive steps for a good social life, it comes down to spending time with people on a regular basis. Yes, some people are introverts and value their me time greatly, but some sense of community and social contact is valuable for everyone. Keep in touch with good friends and family members. Attend social events and dont just sit or stand in the corner. Invite other people to do things, and when invited, accept as often as possible or decline in a polite way that opens the door for follow-up. Try a variety of religious experiences to find one that works for you. Those steps are all powerful supports for ones mental and spiritual health. Final Thoughts Your mental and spiritual health is an invaluable and central part of your life. If you feel positive about yourself and positive about your place in the world and universe, youre much better equipped to handle the stresses and challenges of daily life. If youre struggling with those things, even the normal routines of life can be a real chore. Investing some of your time to strengthen the foundations of your mental and spiritual life can bring about powerful financial results. Youll spend less on services, on stress reduction, on short-term sources of fleeting joy, and on mental health support. Over the long term, that money can make a profound difference in your financial life. The steps really are easy. Take time to meditate or pray daily. Write down your unguarded thoughts regularly. Reflect on the positive aspects of yourself. Express gratitude for the good people and good things in your life. Keep an eye on your physical health and build a good social life. Those steps arent a perfect answer for everyone. If you still find mental or spiritual issues to be a struggle, dont be afraid to seek help to get those matters straight. These tactics are mostly useful for helping you keep things on a good path rather than resolving a truly difficult situation. The focus here is on overcoming molehills; look for much further help if you are dealing with mountains. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/exploring-the-connections-between-your-mental-and-spiritual-life-and-your-financial-life/

Exploring the Connections Between Your Mental and Spiritual Life and Your Financial Life

This is the second entry in an eight part series exploring the connections between your finances and other areas of your life. Last week, I started a series exploring the connections between personal finance and the other spheres of my life. The first entry covered the connections between ones physical life and financial life, and today were looking at ones mental and spiritual life and financial life. As noted in the first entry, I tend to view life as a bunch of spheres, or areas of focus. I really like Michael Hyatts list of nine such spheres: physical, mental/spiritual, intellectual, social, marital, parental, avocational (hobbies), vocational, and financial they cover much of what life is all about. Ive come to view these spheres as deeply interconnected, in that success in one sphere is usually linked in some significant ways to success in other spheres (and failures are similarly connected) and that knowing the connections can help people figure out how to succeed in both areas at once. Today, were going to look at a combined sphere, the mental and spiritual. I combine them because I find its often hard to tease apart the two. What Is the Mental and Spiritual Life? When I refer to ones mental and spiritual life, I mean the state of ones mind and emotional well being. Do I realize my own potential? Can I cope with the stress of life and work? Can I work productively and make forward progress on things? Can I make positive contributions to the lives of others? Do I have a sense of purpose in life? The core matter, for me, is do I feel well in a non-physical sense and have a positive sense of purpose and place in the world for yourself and for others? Answering that question well offers a bunch of financial benefits. First, youre able to handle stress and challenges without throwing money at the problem. If youre able to handle the stresses of everyday life and of professional life without regular interruption to your ability to handle the tasks demanded of you, youre going to be much better equipped to not only earn a good income, but to be able to manage your own life well without paying others to provide services for you. Second, you feel a sense of internal purpose rather than external purpose, which often guides people toward self-directed action rather than directed action. Simply knowing what you should do next and having the internal motivation to do so again makes it easier to earn an income and take care of your life responsibilities without excessive cost. Third, that same sense of purpose guides you toward meaningful goals, which makes it much easier to direct your finances toward long-term purposes. Having some sense of internal purpose and an understanding that your actions today translate toward fulfilling that purpose opens the door to long term goals like building a career and saving for retirement, which are necessary foundations for financial success in the modern world. Finally, taking basic steps to maintain my own mental and spiritual health each day drastically reduces the chance of a downward spiral in those areas, which can result in mental health costs and money spent seeking spiritual answers. In both areas, addressing those concerns regularly can keep molehills (which you can handle yourself or which can be resolved inexpensively) from developing into mountains (which require extensive help to overcome and can be disruptive to personal and professional life). Mental and spiritual crises can still occur, but theyre much less likely to occur. Here are five low cost strategies I use for maintaining my own mental and spiritual health. Strategy #1 Make Meditation and/or Prayer a Regular Part of Your Day I really dont distinguish between meditation and prayer because the practices are very similar. A prayer is effectively the same thing as a meditation using a mantra (a word or phrase or series of phrases used as a focal point for meditation) in terms of practical action, with the biggest difference coming as a result of ones theology and religious beliefs. Regardless of what form your religious beliefs take, a meditative or prayer practice is incredibly powerful at quieting the voices in your mind, that internal monologue that often never shuts up. Youre much more able to ignore it, which can have incredible benefits in terms of your sense of well being. Im not going to address whether its a psychological trick or a gift from a higher power, but I will say that it really works well, especially when you make it a daily routine. If you do it every day, it turns the volume down on that internal monologue that often leads to a lot of mental and spiritual discomfort. My routine is a really simple one. I simply set a timer on my phone, sit down in a comfortable position (in a chair or on the floor), and close my eyes. Then, I focus on something I often use my breath, but you can use a particular part of your body or a word or a phrase or a short prayer. Just focus on whatever that target is. If you feel your mind drifting away from it, bring it back to focus without feeling judgmental about it everyone does this, its part of the practice. If youre focusing on breathing, notice the air going in and out of you. If youre focused on a word or a phrase or a short prayer, repeat it slowly in your mind. Thats it just do it every day and youll start to notice benefits. Theyre not life-transformative, but theyre real and quite worthwhile, especially if its a daily practice. I personally find great value in doing this as a daily practice. Even if I didnt get any long term benefits at all from doing this, it still serves as a period of time each day for me to just be calm clear my head and collect my thoughts and keep my mind from rambling on and on. Its incredibly valuable as a time to connect with your preferred spiritual or religious tradition as well. Strategy #2 Start a Journaling Practice A journaling practice goes hand in hand with meditation. Its simply an opportunity to collect your thoughts and get them out of your head in a private way thats intended just for you. It can help you figure out a problem, organize a plan, dump out a bunch of stuff youre trying to remember or make sense of, and you can do it all at once. You can unleash feelings and thoughts without reservation and chip through walls youve built up around yourself, all without worrying about what anyone else might think of them. My personal practice is three morning pages, which I learned from Julia Camerons wonderful book The Artists Way. I simply fill up three pages in a journal each morning with stream of consciousness thought I just write whatevers on my mind. I find that doing this often causes me to start going through a process where I write down one thought and in the process of doing so a good follow-up thought pops into my head, and I write that down and the process repeats itself until I start reaching some good conclusions. (Given that journals are often very different in size, I actually use a timer for this rather than aiming to fill three pages; the timer is how long it takes me to fill three pages in my normal-sized journals, but sometimes I use bigger or smaller notebooks for this.) There are lots of other ways to journal; the key is to just find a format where you feel okay dumping out your own unguarded and unvarnished thoughts on paper. The key is to just make that dumping out of your thoughts into a regular routine. The goal of all of this is to simply clear away a lot of mental junk in your head. I tend to think of my brain as being like a bedroom, where I might toss dirty clothes or leave unread books lying around, and journaling is what I do to clean up that room. If I dont do it, eventually the whole floor is covered in crap and its hard to move around without stumbling over stuff. Journaling is like cleaning the room. Strategy #3 Use Positive Affirmations By positive affirmation, I dont actually mean things like Im good enough! Im smart enough! What Im actually talking about is simply reviewing the things youre good at and regularly reminding yourself of them. The truth is that everyone brings at least some gifts to lifes table, but its easy to lose track of what those things are and that sense of not having value can lead to a serious downward turn in a persons mental and spiritual state. This all starts by simply asking yourself what good traits and skills you possess. Its often easiest to do this when youre in a positive mood already, but if you find it difficult to do this, turn to someone in your life who is a positive influence and ask them for help with this. The goal is to identify positive traits you have, positive skills you have, and things you have achieved. Almost everyone can create a short list of such things. Then, use those items regularly as positive affirmations. For example, I might say, I am a good writer. I can write material that helps the lives of others and do it at a reasonably fast pace, or I might say, I am a good husband. I have maintained a successful marriage for more than fifteen years, or I might say, I am a good parent. I have a strong relationship with each of my three children. Just make a short list of these positive affirmations and say them to yourself each day. Remind yourself of each of those things, so you never lose track of the positive things about you and the positive things you bring into the world. Such affirmations are an extremely powerful counterbalance to the negative thoughts we often have about ourselves. Those negative thoughts are often the result of an internal monologue run amok, so such positive affirmations often work hand in hand with the first strategy, meditation, which seeks to quiet down that internal monologue. Strategy #4 Express Meaningful Gratitude Consider for a moment the people in your life that have helped you and have improved your life in some real way. Consider the other things in your life that bring a positive influence to you. Those are all good things in your life. Take the time to appreciate them. One easy way to do this is to simply list a few of them each day as part of a journaling practice. Just include a list of a few things youre grateful for, whether its people or things or ideas or events or whatever it is that has brought something positive into your life. Its also a good idea to sometimes take it even further. If someone has had a positive impact on your life, send that person a handwritten note. Write down what theyve done for you and say directly how much you appreciate it. Not only is this an incredibly powerful thing to receive, its also an incredibly powerful thing to send. This type of gratitude feels good because its a direct demonstration to you that you have good things in your life. Even in moments where you feel some level of despair, gratitude is there to remind you that there are good things that persist, that everything is not gray. Strategy #5 Give Extra Attention to Your Physical and Social Health Your physical and social health are strongly connected to your mental and spiritual health. A healthy body is a powerful support for healthy brain chemistry, and a strong social network is also an incredibly powerful support for a healthy mind and spirit. I covered positive steps for physical health just last week. Exercise outside of the gym by finding physical activities you enjoy doing and making them a part of your life. Get a grip on your calorie intake and eat a higher proportion of fruits and vegetables. Cut back (or, ideally, eliminate) vices: drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, soda, and sugar-laden snacks. Go to bed earlier so you can rise naturally without an alarm most days. Practice good hygiene: wash your hands often, brush your teeth daily, and bathe regularly. Those are great steps for your physical health, which can really support your mental health. As for positive steps for a good social life, it comes down to spending time with people on a regular basis. Yes, some people are introverts and value their me time greatly, but some sense of community and social contact is valuable for everyone. Keep in touch with good friends and family members. Attend social events and dont just sit or stand in the corner. Invite other people to do things, and when invited, accept as often as possible or decline in a polite way that opens the door for follow-up. Try a variety of religious experiences to find one that works for you. Those steps are all powerful supports for ones mental and spiritual health. Final Thoughts Your mental and spiritual health is an invaluable and central part of your life. If you feel positive about yourself and positive about your place in the world and universe, youre much better equipped to handle the stresses and challenges of daily life. If youre struggling with those things, even the normal routines of life can be a real chore. Investing some of your time to strengthen the foundations of your mental and spiritual life can bring about powerful financial results. Youll spend less on services, on stress reduction, on short-term sources of fleeting joy, and on mental health support. Over the long term, that money can make a profound difference in your financial life. The steps really are easy. Take time to meditate or pray daily. Write down your unguarded thoughts regularly. Reflect on the positive aspects of yourself. Express gratitude for the good people and good things in your life. Keep an eye on your physical health and build a good social life. Those steps arent a perfect answer for everyone. If you still find mental or spiritual issues to be a struggle, dont be afraid to seek help to get those matters straight. These tactics are mostly useful for helping you keep things on a good path rather than resolving a truly difficult situation. The focus here is on overcoming molehills; look for much further help if you are dealing with mountains. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/exploring-the-connections-between-your-mental-and-spiritual-life-and-your-financial-life/

Exploring the Connections Between Your Mental and Spiritual Life and Your Financial Life

This is the second entry in an eight part series exploring the connections between your finances and other areas of your life. Last week, I started a series exploring the connections between personal finance and the other spheres of my life. The first entry covered the connections between ones physical life and financial life, and today were looking at ones mental and spiritual life and financial life. As noted in the first entry, I tend to view life as a bunch of spheres, or areas of focus. I really like Michael Hyatts list of nine such spheres: physical, mental/spiritual, intellectual, social, marital, parental, avocational (hobbies), vocational, and financial they cover much of what life is all about. Ive come to view these spheres as deeply interconnected, in that success in one sphere is usually linked in some significant ways to success in other spheres (and failures are similarly connected) and that knowing the connections can help people figure out how to succeed in both areas at once. Today, were going to look at a combined sphere, the mental and spiritual. I combine them because I find its often hard to tease apart the two. What Is the Mental and Spiritual Life? When I refer to ones mental and spiritual life, I mean the state of ones mind and emotional well being. Do I realize my own potential? Can I cope with the stress of life and work? Can I work productively and make forward progress on things? Can I make positive contributions to the lives of others? Do I have a sense of purpose in life? The core matter, for me, is do I feel well in a non-physical sense and have a positive sense of purpose and place in the world for yourself and for others? Answering that question well offers a bunch of financial benefits. First, youre able to handle stress and challenges without throwing money at the problem. If youre able to handle the stresses of everyday life and of professional life without regular interruption to your ability to handle the tasks demanded of you, youre going to be much better equipped to not only earn a good income, but to be able to manage your own life well without paying others to provide services for you. Second, you feel a sense of internal purpose rather than external purpose, which often guides people toward self-directed action rather than directed action. Simply knowing what you should do next and having the internal motivation to do so again makes it easier to earn an income and take care of your life responsibilities without excessive cost. Third, that same sense of purpose guides you toward meaningful goals, which makes it much easier to direct your finances toward long-term purposes. Having some sense of internal purpose and an understanding that your actions today translate toward fulfilling that purpose opens the door to long term goals like building a career and saving for retirement, which are necessary foundations for financial success in the modern world. Finally, taking basic steps to maintain my own mental and spiritual health each day drastically reduces the chance of a downward spiral in those areas, which can result in mental health costs and money spent seeking spiritual answers. In both areas, addressing those concerns regularly can keep molehills (which you can handle yourself or which can be resolved inexpensively) from developing into mountains (which require extensive help to overcome and can be disruptive to personal and professional life). Mental and spiritual crises can still occur, but theyre much less likely to occur. Here are five low cost strategies I use for maintaining my own mental and spiritual health. Strategy #1 Make Meditation and/or Prayer a Regular Part of Your Day I really dont distinguish between meditation and prayer because the practices are very similar. A prayer is effectively the same thing as a meditation using a mantra (a word or phrase or series of phrases used as a focal point for meditation) in terms of practical action, with the biggest difference coming as a result of ones theology and religious beliefs. Regardless of what form your religious beliefs take, a meditative or prayer practice is incredibly powerful at quieting the voices in your mind, that internal monologue that often never shuts up. Youre much more able to ignore it, which can have incredible benefits in terms of your sense of well being. Im not going to address whether its a psychological trick or a gift from a higher power, but I will say that it really works well, especially when you make it a daily routine. If you do it every day, it turns the volume down on that internal monologue that often leads to a lot of mental and spiritual discomfort. My routine is a really simple one. I simply set a timer on my phone, sit down in a comfortable position (in a chair or on the floor), and close my eyes. Then, I focus on something I often use my breath, but you can use a particular part of your body or a word or a phrase or a short prayer. Just focus on whatever that target is. If you feel your mind drifting away from it, bring it back to focus without feeling judgmental about it everyone does this, its part of the practice. If youre focusing on breathing, notice the air going in and out of you. If youre focused on a word or a phrase or a short prayer, repeat it slowly in your mind. Thats it just do it every day and youll start to notice benefits. Theyre not life-transformative, but theyre real and quite worthwhile, especially if its a daily practice. I personally find great value in doing this as a daily practice. Even if I didnt get any long term benefits at all from doing this, it still serves as a period of time each day for me to just be calm clear my head and collect my thoughts and keep my mind from rambling on and on. Its incredibly valuable as a time to connect with your preferred spiritual or religious tradition as well. Strategy #2 Start a Journaling Practice A journaling practice goes hand in hand with meditation. Its simply an opportunity to collect your thoughts and get them out of your head in a private way thats intended just for you. It can help you figure out a problem, organize a plan, dump out a bunch of stuff youre trying to remember or make sense of, and you can do it all at once. You can unleash feelings and thoughts without reservation and chip through walls youve built up around yourself, all without worrying about what anyone else might think of them. My personal practice is three morning pages, which I learned from Julia Camerons wonderful book The Artists Way. I simply fill up three pages in a journal each morning with stream of consciousness thought I just write whatevers on my mind. I find that doing this often causes me to start going through a process where I write down one thought and in the process of doing so a good follow-up thought pops into my head, and I write that down and the process repeats itself until I start reaching some good conclusions. (Given that journals are often very different in size, I actually use a timer for this rather than aiming to fill three pages; the timer is how long it takes me to fill three pages in my normal-sized journals, but sometimes I use bigger or smaller notebooks for this.) There are lots of other ways to journal; the key is to just find a format where you feel okay dumping out your own unguarded and unvarnished thoughts on paper. The key is to just make that dumping out of your thoughts into a regular routine. The goal of all of this is to simply clear away a lot of mental junk in your head. I tend to think of my brain as being like a bedroom, where I might toss dirty clothes or leave unread books lying around, and journaling is what I do to clean up that room. If I dont do it, eventually the whole floor is covered in crap and its hard to move around without stumbling over stuff. Journaling is like cleaning the room. Strategy #3 Use Positive Affirmations By positive affirmation, I dont actually mean things like Im good enough! Im smart enough! What Im actually talking about is simply reviewing the things youre good at and regularly reminding yourself of them. The truth is that everyone brings at least some gifts to lifes table, but its easy to lose track of what those things are and that sense of not having value can lead to a serious downward turn in a persons mental and spiritual state. This all starts by simply asking yourself what good traits and skills you possess. Its often easiest to do this when youre in a positive mood already, but if you find it difficult to do this, turn to someone in your life who is a positive influence and ask them for help with this. The goal is to identify positive traits you have, positive skills you have, and things you have achieved. Almost everyone can create a short list of such things. Then, use those items regularly as positive affirmations. For example, I might say, I am a good writer. I can write material that helps the lives of others and do it at a reasonably fast pace, or I might say, I am a good husband. I have maintained a successful marriage for more than fifteen years, or I might say, I am a good parent. I have a strong relationship with each of my three children. Just make a short list of these positive affirmations and say them to yourself each day. Remind yourself of each of those things, so you never lose track of the positive things about you and the positive things you bring into the world. Such affirmations are an extremely powerful counterbalance to the negative thoughts we often have about ourselves. Those negative thoughts are often the result of an internal monologue run amok, so such positive affirmations often work hand in hand with the first strategy, meditation, which seeks to quiet down that internal monologue. Strategy #4 Express Meaningful Gratitude Consider for a moment the people in your life that have helped you and have improved your life in some real way. Consider the other things in your life that bring a positive influence to you. Those are all good things in your life. Take the time to appreciate them. One easy way to do this is to simply list a few of them each day as part of a journaling practice. Just include a list of a few things youre grateful for, whether its people or things or ideas or events or whatever it is that has brought something positive into your life. Its also a good idea to sometimes take it even further. If someone has had a positive impact on your life, send that person a handwritten note. Write down what theyve done for you and say directly how much you appreciate it. Not only is this an incredibly powerful thing to receive, its also an incredibly powerful thing to send. This type of gratitude feels good because its a direct demonstration to you that you have good things in your life. Even in moments where you feel some level of despair, gratitude is there to remind you that there are good things that persist, that everything is not gray. Strategy #5 Give Extra Attention to Your Physical and Social Health Your physical and social health are strongly connected to your mental and spiritual health. A healthy body is a powerful support for healthy brain chemistry, and a strong social network is also an incredibly powerful support for a healthy mind and spirit. I covered positive steps for physical health just last week. Exercise outside of the gym by finding physical activities you enjoy doing and making them a part of your life. Get a grip on your calorie intake and eat a higher proportion of fruits and vegetables. Cut back (or, ideally, eliminate) vices: drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, soda, and sugar-laden snacks. Go to bed earlier so you can rise naturally without an alarm most days. Practice good hygiene: wash your hands often, brush your teeth daily, and bathe regularly. Those are great steps for your physical health, which can really support your mental health. As for positive steps for a good social life, it comes down to spending time with people on a regular basis. Yes, some people are introverts and value their me time greatly, but some sense of community and social contact is valuable for everyone. Keep in touch with good friends and family members. Attend social events and dont just sit or stand in the corner. Invite other people to do things, and when invited, accept as often as possible or decline in a polite way that opens the door for follow-up. Try a variety of religious experiences to find one that works for you. Those steps are all powerful supports for ones mental and spiritual health. Final Thoughts Your mental and spiritual health is an invaluable and central part of your life. If you feel positive about yourself and positive about your place in the world and universe, youre much better equipped to handle the stresses and challenges of daily life. If youre struggling with those things, even the normal routines of life can be a real chore. Investing some of your time to strengthen the foundations of your mental and spiritual life can bring about powerful financial results. Youll spend less on services, on stress reduction, on short-term sources of fleeting joy, and on mental health support. Over the long term, that money can make a profound difference in your financial life. The steps really are easy. Take time to meditate or pray daily. Write down your unguarded thoughts regularly. Reflect on the positive aspects of yourself. Express gratitude for the good people and good things in your life. Keep an eye on your physical health and build a good social life. Those steps arent a perfect answer for everyone. If you still find mental or spiritual issues to be a struggle, dont be afraid to seek help to get those matters straight. These tactics are mostly useful for helping you keep things on a good path rather than resolving a truly difficult situation. The focus here is on overcoming molehills; look for much further help if you are dealing with mountains. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/exploring-the-connections-between-your-mental-and-spiritual-life-and-your-financial-life/