#life is gonna be a bit easier
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Transferred everything over from my old computer to my new one and was able to delete stuff off my old one for storage and now I can finally update that computer for the first time in like three years
#i was a little unsure if I really needed 1 TB of storage#but at least now i won’t run into this problem again#hopefully#the last one only had 128GB so it’s quite the adjustment#and it came with a discounted Microsoft code cuz my school one is going to expire soon#so I have an extra 1 TB of storage on my one drive#life is gonna be a bit easier#at least technologically#just need to get myself a new phone#cuz this one likes to freeze up on me#i love apple products I just wish they weren’t so corrupt#capitalism sucks
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GUESS WHO OFFICIALLY HAS AN ADHD DIAGNOSIS
#I'M GONNA GO SEE MY DOC IN A FEW MINUTES TO GET PILLS!!!#y'all I'm so excited. maybe this will help me fix my life#even a little bit easier would be great#adhd#15 years too late
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was gonna make a fun lil poll about which nice restful activity I should choose to do today. and then remembered it's like idk 2-4am for most of y'all rn :( sometimes the whole timezone thing is sad and difficult
#hnnnggggg life would be easier rn if the people i want to talk to when i feel sad or overwhelmed or lonely weren’t inevitably asleep#when i want to talk to them.#anyway im gonna try to either bake bread or go for a walk and look at fall leaves or play guitar a lil bit today#cuz im feeling a lil burnout-adjacent#which. yknow. makes sense.#cultural adjustment + taking on a bunch of new responsibilities im still figuring out how to carry + SO many new people All The Time#= a very tired girl
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with every act of self love i hug my past self and give him reason to keep going
#i dunno i’m feeling things i’ll try and spare you all the thoughts#i was gonna make a post saying ‘i need to go back in time and hug my younger self’#but this is how you do it right?? you do everything you can in the present to make up for all the shit you subjected yourself to#or were subjected to by others in the past#and it will get easier even as it gets worse it will get better#and maybe one day i will be the past self that i look back and feel such pity?? sorrow??? for#but i can do everything i can now to forge that future me into someone who is loved by himself#sorry bit uhh bit deep for not even that late night tumblr posting#just bare with me it’s important i do this every once in a while#ezra’s real life rambles
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love bluh bluh bluh
#初音ミク#ラビットホール#rabbit hole#hatsune miku#vocaloid#illustration#artists on tumblr#dooblenauts#i liked how this looked better while i was working on it#now it looks. so bad#the handcuffs look stupid. the background is stupid. the shading and rendering is stupid#why am i so afraid of trying new things my rendering now sucks idk what im doing its so unpleasing to look at#eugh. eugh#trying to get my shit together by trying to get a better sleep schedule. as a first step#cause that shits been fucked for ages#i slept at midnight and woke up at 6am and stayed up ALL day. i was SO proud of myself#then when i went to sleep at 8 or 9 last night i stupidly took a lil bit of a gummy to pass me out easier#it was apparently too much and i woke up at midnight freaking out#now im pissed off at myself for waking up at 10am cause of a fuck up i should have avoided but i wanted to go to sleep quicker#why do i suck. why do i suck!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway gonna burn myself out on drawing cause im useless and cant do anything else otherwise#hoping someone will be like 'hey nice art! heres some money draw me a thing'#but thats probably not gonna happen in a VERY long time#so im probably just gonna be useless for the rest of my life#dont take this as me trying to gain pity or anything im going through a mood and just really pissed off at myself 😭
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bro why can’t anyone ever just want to fuck around w me
#sorry i’m tired of not having gay sex#was gonna say why can’t anyone have a crush on me but that’s not actually what i want at all lmaoo#i can hypothetically find hookups on dating apps but i’m realizing that if that ever worked for me i would have already made a Real move#- instead of just talking. i need someone who’s actually a friend :(#to be so honest hearing that boy talk abt his history also made me a little jealous like. maybe straight men do have it easier in gen but i#- do think it might just be him. but also it’s bc he felt like he could ask i think#*not of his partners to be clear. of his inexplicable ability to pull LMAO#this isn’t even a real complaint for the record it’s just the mix of hearing abt his sex life plus all of the gay boys in our department#- getting into shit. i don’t want the drama At All but maybe i want to get into shit. a little bit..#i just want more intimacy with my friends on a lot of levels lately & for some of them this is one of them#will not be saying anything tho. xoxo#ted talks#minors dni
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what if teeth actually is about navigating paranoia/psychosis in a relationship and it’s actually the narrator who is unreliable?
#OKAY SO#its like how there’s the second pov in nitsw#which in the album is part of the same story#Along with easier and the alt interpretation of no shame and twl#BUT. narrator is so stuck in their head (like in high) they’re unable to see outside their own self deprecation and fears#and they’re having the kind of derealisation they forget who wife to be is. just zone right out of their life#while wife to be is struggling to be with their partner during this time and obv gonna be a bit relationally burnt out#and likely come across hot and cold a bit because of that. having to get her head around a partner who thinks things that aren’t real and#seems to not trust her. feeding her insecurities which only then feed the unreality#tw unreality#teeth#calm#5sos#5 seconds of summer#michael clifford#calum hood#ashton irwin#luke hemmings
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A question for the audience. Please answer if possible 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
#I ask only bc idk if that would be easier??#I mean it will be on the same platform (ao3) so I guess it doesn’t matter#I really only had the intention to split it bc there’s gonna be a bit of a time jump#between their story in fcc and married life#I thought it might be easier to comprehend if it is split and seen as a continuation of their story
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In the mood to just let it all go :)
Stress, people, all of it 🤷🏽♀️
#yk when you just know it’s time 🤝🏽#it’s getting easier#which is a tiny bit worrying but oh well#was gonna say heartbreak but it’s not really heartbreak if you saw it coming#feelings#life stuff#thoughts 💭#relationship#love#mine#vent#friendship#quotes#love quotes#life quotes#relationship quotes#friendship quotes#self love#lit#sad#but not really?
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Thinking about it and as cool as futuristic cyborg arms are, I think that they should all also do things like have a lighter built into a finger or turn into a pistol or have some Swiss Army knife attachments or double as a tattoo gun and I think that this standard was set for my by Long John Silver in Treasure Planet (2002)
#i just think that if you're gonna replace a limb it should have some extra goodies!! as a treat!!#why not make your life just a bit easier after having been made just a bit harder is all
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day 78: some design doodles
#daily xb doodles#hermitcraft#xbcrafted#now i was Gonna draw the whole chest#but yknow the fashion design rule 'whats sexiest is whats hidden' popped into my head#sooo yeah enjoy the no pecs ig lmao#also sorry for missing days a bit lately#been doing Actual Life Things and Going Places All Day#so energy for drawing has been low#but any requests would make keeping it up easier!#so send those in!#anyway love yall have a good day <3
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was watching a true crime vid one time and when it came to analysis the host was like 'yeah so actually the murderer was on risperadone since he was 16, and that's a heavy antipsychotic so.' and im watching this, having been on the same meds since i was 12, and ive never murdered anyone abt it so. i wouldn't call that the primary reason
#its not a drug that works for everyone but it does for others#i never get why ppl r like 'we shouldnt put children on antipsychotics bc they're intense meds' and its like. how abt u ask ur kid if#they'd rather be on meds bc. ur kids gonna be psychotic either way but if meds work they work yknow. like it doesnt make it go away but it#can make life a bit easier. i don't think everyone needs meds but they can help a bit yknow
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why do I still look at the comments for news articles I am suffering
#Ash's ramblings#this is just a rant but for FUCK'S sake#the people going on about the Selbstbestimmungsgesetz for trans inter and nb folks.#people going ON about it being made easier to get german citizenship. I am losing my mind#'oh wow guess I'll vote afd now' are you stupid. Are you FUCKING stupid oh my fucking god I fucking hate it here#'other people who i have nothing to do with could have their life be a bit easier in a way i don't understand and that doesn't affect me.#this upsets me so guess I'll vote for the fascists in retaliation somehow' ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID#Fucking. I just. HOW are people like this this is such an unrealistic seeming worldview I genuinely do not fucking understand like.#It Doesn't Make Any Sense#I'm gonna. Do my dishes now before I lose my shit. Fucking hell#German politics#Mostly in the tags but stilll#Politics#current events
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Is there a Fix-It out there where they explain to Jason what's going on and he not only believes them, but he does help with the plan hence why this time is works and no one has to die smily face????? Cuz I lowkey wanna read that.
#I just think life would have been easier if someone talked with Jason first#preferably before Patrick (or whatever his name) died. so when they are explaining that dude can be like 'i hear that clock' and they make#him listen to music and he's well :) or they find out too late and he dies anyway#OR even better Jason doesn't believe it until he sees Patrick die and blames himself for not listening to the others#anyway he could either be with Max and Lucas OR the bait team so he can help Eddie distract the bats :)#and they both end up a little bit fucked up but the damage is not that big (more of a Steve damage not I'm gonna die from blood lost#damage) so they all get out and to a hospital and Jason confirms that the person who killed Chrissy attacked him and Munson no don't ask#about the bites man just trust me bro that's what happen. and they do trust him cuz yk rich boy power or whatever (+the party agreeing)#and they lived happily ever after#(((but also like Jason and Eddie becoming besties after that over blaming themselves for Chrissy's death)))#gosh this fandom has so many opportunities and openings for fanfictions and yet#stranger things#stranger things jason#jason carver#I am sorry but if my girlfriend died in someone's trailer I would go haunt the owner of said trailer too#okok maybe I would let the owner explain first but if nothing comes out of that I would kill that motherfucker without hesitation#just saying#not excusing Jason. just yk. mood
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Highkey gonna cry I looked up this uni I have to go to on Insta and literally it looks like the worst fit for me
#might actually just take another gap year even if it makes me feel like a failure#do a metal working course in the village become a blacksmith#weld shit together for a living#i got rejected from my first choice and i never bothered looking at my backup option#bc i was so so so sure id get into my first choice#...#anyway#im probably gonna drop out in a week and then just take another gap year lol#its fine everythings fine#hey coach wymack ytf dont you come barrelling into my gym threatening me and giving me a safe space to study#lets be real even if he was fucking real i dont have the talent for it#its feeling a bit like i never tried hard enough so now my life is falling down around me and i have nothing to show for it hours#like#if i had only tried harder for gcses then alevels would have been easier and if id studied at all during alevels maybe id have got into a#good university and maybe if id got into a good university i wouldnt have to go to this one where ill feel like a sore thumb#god is that even the way that phrase is used#and maybe id be happier if only id worked harder to make my life better for myself like#learned something this year and uts that apathy will literally ruin your life#doesnt matter how much i write down my ten year plan if i dont care enough to keep it up in the present its all balls anyway
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#cool! just got hit with a wave of sadness about my lack of experience in... everything!#like I know it shouldn't define me & there's no real timeline to do things#but when you're in your mid-20s watching everyone do things (even people younger than you)#really puts you in a place that's just... not fun#it shouldn't be embarrassing that i haven't really dated or kissed anyone yet here we fucking are!#'just put yourself out there!!' hi yeah easier said than done!!#i get so fucking insecure about myself when it comes to dating#the world is not kind to tall fat women#people love to say they love women like that but it feels like both of those things just get cancelled out for me#i have never felt desired the way i want to be in my entire life#i just become so hyperaware of all the tiny little things that i feel like someone would negatively point out#and it's just... fucks me up not gonna lie#i honestly think i might be pms-ing which is making this 1000000 times worse but like whatever#should i have just saved this for me therapist instead of tumblr? definitely#i'm just... going to cry a little bit more & then take a shower before watching the newest mando episode#sierra speaks#tbd#sierra being dramatic yet again
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