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#lia talks about the boys
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The fact that homicidal and trauma riddled Soldier Boy was the only one thinking logically in the finale is baffling to me. Like we were shown so many times he was unreliable and unstable, and he ended up being the only who held his end of the deal AND actually stuck to the plan despite knowing he would have to kill his only child. Let that sink in yall. I keep saying they shouldve let him end his bloodline, they're all fucked up and he knew it. Should've let him pull an Anakin Skywalker.
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liatorii · 7 months
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The past two days were so freaking chaotic for no reason at all and I'm genuinely surprised I managed to vibe my way thru while also being productive (to a certain degree)?
If I told my younger self what I am able to do on my own now, without like, panicking and feeling unsure of myself I wouldn't have believed it.
And like, I'm an adult but sometimes lil Lia feels like they're watching me, astonished at how confident I've grown up to be :D
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seesgood · 2 years
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“actually if you look at it in a certain way a lot of jedi teachings are just promoting mindfulness practices, which is a heavy component of dbt so it’s all just ✨ therapy baby ✨” - an actual conversation i am having with @sithdestined right now
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leaderwonim · 3 months
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WHAT’S YOUR ETA ?!
pairing. exbf’s best friend!heeseung x fem!reader
summary. although heeseung’s always believed in bro code, he can’t help but call you when he sees your boyfriend, park sunghoon, cheat on you with some girl at a party. don’t worry though, heeseung can prove he’s much better than sunghoon.
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“Hey! Y/N?” The voice of Lee Heeseung comes through your phone, his camera shaky and pointed at the ground which was covered in what you can only assume is confetti.
“Heeseung?” You say quietly, rubbing your eyes as you sat up from your bed. “Don’t you have a performance later?”
“I cannot believe this,” you recognize the voice of Park Jongseong, who recently became close friends with you after discovering you both liked cooking.
“Isn’t that your boyfriend?” Heeseung moves the camera view from the floor towards the pool of a house you don’t know, zooming into what looks like your boyfriend, Park Sunghoon, talking to another girl.
“Hurry up and get over to Lia’s house!” Jongseong says, eyebrows furrowed. “Oh my God—look at them.”
When the camera finally clears, you realize it’s Yuna standing next to your boyfriend, touching and grazing his arms while he smiles down at her.
Unable to handle it any longer, you practically jump up from the bed, running into your bathroom with your phone in hand.
“Hey, me and Jongseong have to perform,” Heeseung speaks up. “We’ll call you back!”
Heeseung hangs up the FaceTime, and you want to slam your head against your mirror when the sleepiness wears off and you let what you just saw sink into your brain.
“It’s always the girl that he tells you not to worry about,” you say grumpily, brushing your teeth so harshly that the toothbrush practically falls out of your mouth.
By the time Heeseung and Jongseong finish their performance, the crowd was cheering like crazy, but they were both too concerned as to where you were to care.
“Hey Hee!”
The voice of Park Sunghoon almost makes the two boys fall back first into the pool, but luckily Jongseong gripped the back of Heeseung’s shirt tightly so they wouldn’t trip.
“What’s up?” Heeseung chuckles nervously, eyes wandering around to see if Yuna was hanging around nearby.
He knew Park Sunghoon all too well to know that he was most likely going to take Yuna to his house after Lia’s party. Sunghoon was his best friend, but that doesn’t automatically mean Sunghoon was a good person.
“Your performance was killer, man.” Sunghoon pats Heeseung’s back, “you too Jongseong, the way you dance was just flawless.”
“Mhm.” Jongseong tries his best to smile at Sunghoon, which didn’t work because it looks like he was constipated.
“Okay.” Sunghoon awkwardly smiles, patting Heeseung’s back one more time before descending back into the crowd.
“What was that?” Heeseung says, laughing so hard he has to clutch his stomach. “Your eyes were twitching and you looked like you’re gonna poop!”
“Shut up!” Jongseong pushes the older boy back in annoyance. “I didn’t want to speak with that cheater, Y/N’s my friend.”
It was as if Jongseong’s mention of your name spawned you to the party because there you were, walking up to them with the angriest look a woman could have.
“Where is he?” You say, scanning the crowd with a glare.
“Whoa there,” Heeseung places both his hands on your shoulders, “do you really want to do this here? I don’t want Sunghoon to embarrass you.”
“Who says I’m going to end it?” You say, challenging the two boys who’s jaws practically drop to the ground.
“What? Cmon! He’s real bad Y/N, just end it.” Jongseong begs.
“He’s right,” Heeseung says, bambi eyes dosing down at you. “Don’t indulge him.”
“Promise me you’ll pop his tires with me if he embarrasses me?” You ask Jongseong, who automatically nods as he lets out a small giggle.
“Popping his tires and keying his car.”
“Okay,” you take a deep breath. “I’ll do it.”
You spot Park Sunghoon easily now, it wasn’t so hard when Shin Yuna was all up on him.
“Sunghoon!” You yell, which attracts the bystanders nearby. “You cheating bitch!”
Sunghoon’s expression quickly turns into panic, his face converted into a nervous fit of giggles that past you would’ve found endearing and cute.
“What on earth are you talking about?” He chuckles, grabbing your arm as he smiles at bystanders. “Can we not do this here?”
“Oh we’re doing this here.” You elbow him in the stomach, which works because he groans and loses the grip he had on your arm. “We’re done, over. I’ll mail your shit to you so I don’t have to see you ever again. And if you try to come back, I’ll make sure to have Heeseung beat your ass.”
Sunghoon’s eyebrows furrow and his expression darkens. “Heeseung? Why would my best friend beat my ass for you?”
“Oh, you don’t know?” You grin. “He was the one who told me you were cozying up with Shin Yuna you bastard!”
“Okay—that’s enough,” Yuna steps in, which only fuels your anger even more.
“You’re so lucky I don’t believe in violence.” You spit out at both of them in disgust.
“Oh please, you wouldn’t dare to hit me.”
“But I would.” Sunghoon has no time to react to Heeseung’s words because his face was already met with the older boy’s fist, making him collide with the floor.
“Holy shit!”
“Sunghoon!”
While Yuna’s busy helping Sunghoon off the ground, Jongseong grabs both you and Heeseung, running towards Lia’s backyard door.
“That was fucking amazing.” Jongseong breathes out. “You punched your best friend.”
“Yeah,” Heeseung sucks in a breath when he realizes it’s starting to bruise. “He’s definitely gonna kill me.”
“Not if I kill him first,” you mumble, carefully grabbing ahold of Heeseung’s hand. “We’re gonna need to bandage your hand. Come to my house.”
Jongseong watches with a smirk as you still hold onto Heeseung’s hand. He walks behind the two of you, happy that you were finally with someone better than Sunghoon.
“This has happened more than once, hasn’t it?” You say, frowning as you patted Heeseung’s bruising hand with ointment.
“I saw it before but you weren’t there,” Heeseung says, sucking in his breath. “I didn’t want to believe Sunghoon was cheating on you so I waited to see if he was gonna do it again. And he did.”
“What an asshole,” Jongseong adds in. “I’m gonna key his daddy’s money Mercedes Benz.”
The three of you laugh, the sadness of the situation wearing down slowly.
“Thanks for telling me Hee,” you say, finally making eye contact with him. “I know you guys were friends for a while.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I won’t do what’s right.” Heeseung sighs. “Remember when you couldn’t come to Jongseong’s birthday because he wanted you to help him with economics homework?”
Jongseong lets out a gasp. “Oh my gosh, now that Heeseung’s mentioned it, you did miss my birthday because of that fucker!”
“And remember when I got into trouble? He ditched me even though I’m the closest friend he has.” Heeseung chuckles bitterly. “Or when I got broken up with and Sunghoon told you not to comfort me because it wasn’t your place.”
“I now realize how much power he had over me,” you say, lips curving into the saddest frown Heeseung’s ever seen.
“Hey—it’s okay.” He reassures you. “You were being manipulated by him, it’s not your fault.”
“It’s really not!” Jongseong yells from the living room.
You two roll your eyes at his small commentary, and when you lock eyes again, Heeseung can’t help but break into a smile, admiring how beautiful you looked.
“You deserve better.” Heeseung says breathily.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” His eyes trail down to your lips before looking up at you with those brown bambi eyes again. “You deserve better like me.”
Heeseung doesn’t have to say it twice before you’re crashing your lips onto his, the shriek of Park Jongseong and a cup breaking goes unnoticed by the two of you.
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joelhoney · 6 months
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#1 girl
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pairing: dbf joel miller x afab/sorority sister reader
kenny here... tumblr Blipped me u guys. but i loved this too much to let it waste into nothingness. so here we go again take two using an ancient blog i never even used (from 2016 mind u...) enjoy!
You're too wrapped up in sorority duties to remember somebody's supposed to pick you up and drive you home tonight. One pissed-off Joel, curious conversation, and cowboy hat later, your evening takes an unexpected turn.
warnings: no outbreak au, dbf!joel, self gratuitous age gap (21/51), shy reader w/ some bursts of confidence, blowjob (m receiving), handjob (f receiving), dirty talk, praise, degradation too..., overuse of pet names... must b all
Of all the ways you imagined spending your fifth day of spring break, the last was in your dad’s best friend’s pickup truck with lame rock playing dryly through the console radio. In fact, last is generous—the idea itself had never even been conjured in your head.
The reason why is because you and your dad’s best friend—Mr. Miller—don’t typically interact beyond the confines of dinners, mandatory laughter, and the occasional one-on-one about something like boys in college, or classes in college, or the drive to college. Nothing much had changed when you moved the brief drive away to UT Austin, and between you everything’s remained the same, even now in your senior year.
For instance, a break—summer, spring, winter—would begin with your parents picking you up and shuttling off to the house, and end with an affair of the similar sort. Quickly into your first year, though, you learned to always insist you either leave school late or leave home early for spring break to take advantage of campus parties, especially because your senior year had cemented your shiny new position as President of Alpha Phi.
Any officer position in a sorority already came with a good deal of responsibility, let alone the presidency; and in addition to having recently turned twenty-one, the role required you to exhaust every drop of social battery, every ounce of skill you had at party hosting and alcohol obtaining without the use of a flimsy fake.
The eliminated nerves of using fakes made you much less nervous during parties, which often led to you letting more loose than usual. This party you’re in was thrown by some frat on campus, but this house is your last place of four; first two pregames, then a bar, then here. At some point at the bar your sisters had surprised you with a fun gift for the night, so you’re also wearing a pink sash, onto which rhinestones spelling out #1 Girl have been glued with precision.
Already you’re dizzy, wiping clammy fingers on the stiff cotton of your tight tank top, the curve of your tits spilling over the Alpha Phi logo. It’s small on you, the hem high above your navel and higher above the loose, low hem of your denim shorts. If they fell low enough on your hips, the high arch of your pink thong would’ve shown itself—maybe it did at some point, you’re too loopy to care.
“Oh, no,” you’re saying, but you can barely hear yourself over the rap song playing and everyone singing along, “no, I hate Jäger.” You’re shaking your head at your best friend and Vice President, Lia, who raises two handfuls of the opaque liquid. She shakes her head, sets them down on the table you’re leaning against.
“Lighten up, duuude. We’re taking them to celebrate your first and last spring break as President.”
“Aw, fine,” you muse loudly, giving in. “Only this once.” Out of obligation and genuine gratitude, you allow yourself to stomach your least favorite drink—then another, and another, a bit of each shot dribbling down the column of your throat and stickily onto your chest.
Lia snaps at the red bra strap that peeks out of your tank strap, laughing. “Settle down, Prez.” A partygoer, rowdy as they come, roughly deposits a sweaty cowboy hat onto your head and you yelp in surprise, steadying it. Whoever gave this, I’m keeping it! you holler, laughing as you feed yourself a shot of something your tongue enjoys more.
Absolut crowds the inside of your mouth when you take it back, interrupted only when a hand comes to shake at your shoulder. In your rush to turn, you nearly hit them with your hat.
It’s Cole, a good friend and member of the frat whose house you’re currently getting tipsy in. His eyes are rimmed and the whole air of him smells like weed. He offers one greeting: “Yo.” His eyes slide down to your chest, where your tugged-down tank has exposed a few inches of your red bra’s lacy cups.
“Hey,” you say, the syllable sounding sticky. “Up here, you ass. Jägerbomb?” You offer a smile.
“‘M a’ight. Listen, some…” He shakes his head, like he’s trying to place what he’s here to tell you. Then he nods, having remembered—“Right. Some old guy’s out front asking for you.”
“Asking for me? Old… guy?” Your eyebrows scrunch together, mind foggy. “My dad?” Shit. You’d completely forgotten they’d be picking you up today or tomorrow. Maybe they’d been waiting for hours—it’s one-thirty, the clock on the living room mantel reads. 
“Nah, man, not your dad, this guy’s… he’s got a red pickup truck, um, he’s, like, he’s old looking.” He raises a hand above his own head. “Tall.” His voice is drawly with the weed high, but as soon as he said red pickup, you knew exactly who he was talking about. One look at your phone confirms it—five missed calls and a message, 11PM, sent by your dad: Joel’s in the area for work. He’s going out with buddies but can swing by the house to pick you up. I’m giving him your #.
“Fuck.” You blink. “Fuck! I gotta go.” 
You never usually have to pack shit to go home, considering the drive isn’t too far. Briefly you consider making a detour to collect things from your sorority house, but you decide to sacrifice the laptop and the few important chargers. So, armed with only your phone, you wrench your way out of the crowd, a few goodbyes thrown in your direction and back.
The front door is open so the partygoers spill onto the front yard, intermittent conversation littering the area. Along the pavement, frat guys’ Civics and and Priuses are parked beside an old looking red pickup truck; leaned against it is—
“Mr. Miller,” you blurt out when you’re closer to him, voice steady (your mind is just as well, shocked back to lucidity from his presence). “I’m sorry. I had no idea you’d be picking me up today—tonight—” You heave a sigh, apologetic, refusing to meet his eyes. “Sorry.”
His arms are crossed over his chest, the sleeves of his button-up rolled up to his elbows. Even from a few feet away you can make out the shape, the lines of muscle on his forearms. He looks tired, moody—more than usual—and your heart pangs with guilt at the idea that you could be the reason behind it. But despite your best—really, your best—efforts, your stomach still swoops the same way it did when you were seventeen and naive, enough to find next-door-neighbor Mr. Miller extremely handsome. Hell, extremely hot.
It didn’t make sense. You’d suspected your little crush would be that—an adolescent, childish thing, evaporating more and more into thin air with every drive made to campus. But he never stopped being handsome, never stopped his corny jokes and the pet names that got you warm every time you visited over break. You had plenty of eye candy on campus, athletes and gamers alike, and yes you’d been picky, but had managed to sleep with a select few—despite all of it, only the remnants of your fantasies of Mr. Miller satiated you when your hand creeps into the apex of your thighs late at night, lust wrangling shame into silence for a few minutes.
You blink and the train of thought is over—the real thing is here, eyebrows set low, mouth frowning.
“Kiddo,” he starts, his voice thin with exhaustion, “look, I’ve done my share of… drinkin’, and that. I get it. But you gotta…” He clicks his tongue, eyes looking your outfit up and down. “You gotta let me know, let your parents know, where you are, and if you’re okay. ‘Cause I really did not want to spend tonight drivin’ from house to bar, to bar to house, feelin’ like I was lookin’ all over Austin for you.”
“I know,” you supply quickly, nodding. Your hands, fidgety, find purchase on the fibres of the silk sash strung along your figure. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Miller. I didn’t check my phone the entire evening, and—”
“It’s okay.” He says, nonchalant, lifting himself off the side of the car to walk to the drivers’ side. Gruffly, he adds, “Car.”
You’re quick to tug the door open, settling yourself on the passenger seat and breathing nervously. Your legs are littered with body glitter, your chest with the tack of Jäger. You spot him outside, his walk slow. He’s annoyed—rightfully so—stopping just shy of the door to pinch at the bridge of his nose, his lips miming a slow exhale. When he finally wrangles himself to sit, it’s quiet for a minute, then another.
“Y’have fun?” He starts the car, thrumming it to life. You nod, then offer a verbal answer—yeah. He nods, wiping a palm over his face. “What were you up to?” 
“I, um… I organized a pregame for my sorority.” You toy with the rogue strands of denim of your shorts. “We went to a bar, after… then another… then, well.” You gulp. “Here.” The last question escapes you in a shaky, breathy squeak. “And you?”
“Hah, sure, kid. Had some contractor thing, half an hour from here. Then drinks with a coupl’a buddies from work. Could’ve been home by eleven-thirty,” he says roughly, driving through the still-vibrant streets of campus, “but it’s nearin’ two and I’m on a college campus.” The urge to apologize bubbles at your lips, high in your stomach, but you remain quiet. After a few stretches of dry silence, he asks again. “That party must’ve been real fun for you to leave your old man—and me—on radio silence, wun’nit?”
“Sure,” you manage, stammering. “We were celebrating my sorority presidency.” The dark scenery of Austin blurs past. 
“Oh, sorority presidency,” he repeats, both teasing and genuinely curious. “I did hear your dad mention you were in Alpha Phi, s’that right?” You nod. “What’s that, then? Do presidents get cowboy hats?”
Your face grows hot, hands reaching up to clutch at the rim of the hat atop your head. “No, this—somebody put it—it was a joke, Mr. Miller.” A huffy laugh escapes you. “Sorry.”
“Sweetheart,” he says, and you wrench the reminder he’s 51 he’s 51 he’s 51 through your head while he pauses, “‘m drivin’ you around Austin late at night, and I’ve known you for your whole life. How ‘bout we drop the Mr. Miller act, alright?”
“Oh. Okay,” you say. His hands grip the steering wheel firmly, and your eyes wander to his arms, to how he’s basically stuffed into the shirt he’s wearing, big and broad and bulky. His eyes remain focused ahead, so you let yourself indulge a tad bit more—lower, to the material of his jeans. It’s dark in the truck, so you can’t see much, just the flex of his thighs. “Joel.”
“Attagirl.” You chew at the inside of your cheek, already feeling arousal simmering in you, low and dirty. You’re going to soak through this godforsaken thong. “Mind if I make a pit stop?” You shake your head profusely, watch as he pulls into a gas station parking lot. “Want anythin’, girl?”
“N—” your lips form, but you scrap your original answer. “Gum, if they have it.”
“Be damned if they don’t.” He slams the door shut and you watch him enter the store, watch him through the glass panels. He’s so broad. You’d nearly completely forgotten how stupidly you liked him, and now it’s coming, throttling back full-force, especially with the thrilling aspect of it possibly coming to fruition. You are, after all, an adult. And so is he, paying for his shit with a tight-lipped expression, arms crossed again, arms big and—Jesus.
You squeeze your thighs together, willing yourself to get your shit in place when he pulls the door open again, his eyes scanning your seated figure. He tosses you the packet of gum, and you respond with a sweet thank you, Mr. M—Joel, and you fiddle with the packaging as he starts the car again, driving until scenery grows more and more familiar, closer to home.
“By the way,” he says, voice husky with the unuse of not talking for a while. “Think it’s best you spend the night at my house tonight, kid. It’s late. Later than late.” 2:44, the console digital clock reads in blinky red text. “Your parents don't want the door rattlin’ open at this hour, so I’ll let you in the guest room.”
“Oh,” you say. “Sure.”
“D’you have a change of clothes?” He asks, even if he knows you climbed into the seat with nothing but your phone and a cowboy hat. You shake your head and he tsks. “You’re barely covered, sweetheart. Best be careful walkin’ around when the night’s this chilly.”
Barely covered. You think of every possible response, but what leaves your glossed lips is the riskiest: “What do you mean, barely covered?”
You figure if he starts saying shit like what are you insinuatin’, kiddo? You better sleep at yours tonight instead, it’s an easy out—you’re turning the corner onto your street now, and your stomach is boiling with nerves, sticky and anticipatory. “I jus’ mean… it shows a lotta skin.” 
“It’s sorority merch, Joel,” you reply, half-amused and half-defensive.
“No, I”—he sighs, like he wants to backtrack what he’s just said—“I know, but… always worth somethin’ to be careful. Might catch a cold with all that leg… all that—you—showin’.” He parks in front of his house, this sizey, homey thing, and your heart flips knowing how familiar this place has been to you your entire life.
“I’m not going to wear winter gear to a spring break frat party.” You’re bolder, suddenly, but even if the statement is, your voice is level, meek, even. Joel nods, as if admitting defeat, and gets out of the car first; you follow, sneakers crunching against the asphalt as you follow him into the house.
“I hope,” he starts when you’re stationed beside him at the door, “I didn’t… offend you. I was jus’ concerned, is all.” Then he’s stoic again, slipping inside, straight to the kitchen to pour you a glass of water. He flicks a yellow light on and you squint when you get there, rubbing at your eyes to prevent them from aching.
You’re still rubbing at them when his gaze drops from your fussed-up hair and askew hat down to the shiny surface of your chest. Your goddamn top leaves him nothing to the imagination, your tits spilling out of it scandalously. The low cut even lets your bra peek through, red and bright and hey, you show up from college wearing these large university shirts and sweatpants—not this, never this. And your shorts, the way they’re really just a fucking belt, starting low on your hips and cut off high above your thighs.
Alpha Phi, the pink text on your white top reads on the left chest area. Right where your tits curve into the top, the slogan is printed: Union hand in hand. God, sororities and their fucking… quotable bullshit. And don’t get him started on the sash, this cutesy, frilly thing he wants to loop around your wrists so he can fuck you over the counter. He knows he can’t—it’s so wrong, so wrong. He’s known your dad for ages. 
But you… you're so tempting, a little minx, chirping Mr. Miller all sweet and apologetic, chest out on full display. He blinks when he hears your voice filter through the fog in his head. “—off?”
“What was that, sweetheart?” His eyes meet yours again and he feels a twinge of embarrassment at the way your bashfulness has somewhat melted to give way to the clear amusement on your face. You must’ve spotted the way he ogled you; he wasn’t exactly trying his hardest to be subtle, unfortunately. 
“D’you have something I can use to wipe myself off?” You gesture to your sticky collarbone area. “I got Jäger all over myself. Can’t handle the stuff.” You grimace at the memory, and he goes to grab a wet wipe; while waiting, you hoist yourself up onto the counter, bare legs swinging.
Joel turns to toss you the packet of wipes, but his throat dries before he can even call your name out. Your back is to him, and clearly you’re waiting for his return—you’ve busied yourself by sitting on his counter and letting the hot pink lace of your thong rise above the waistline of your shorts. Lord have mercy, he thinks to himself, adjusting his jeans as he walks back over to you.
“Wipes,” he says roughly, not anything else.
You accept the packet and smile shyly. “Can you…” you pause, the implication hovering over both of you, heavy. “Wait for me?” He nods, inviting. Warm. And he watches, inviting but not very warm anymore, the way you wipe over the expanse of your chest, over the curve of your tits, every other part of you dusted in glitter.
“So,” you say again. “Since we’re on first name basis now, Joel, I, um—I hope it’s okay to ask questions.”
“Sounds reasonable. Go for it,” he accepts. 
“When’s the last time you went to a party?” Your smile is mischievous. 
He chuckles, a huff of air. “...Long, long ago, kid. Back in my day, partyin’ meant beer, maybe a little weed… not that I'm complaining there, you understand.” He nods resolutely. “These days, a quiet home-cooked meal with just the people I really care about… is a party.”
“Wow, what an old guy answer,” you giggle. “Back in youuuur day.” Your raspy, honeyed voice wraps around the your with a teasing lilt.
“Oh, I’m old now, am I?” His stoic demeanor chips away when he laughs. “That makes you what, sweetheart? You’re barely a pup.”
At his words—at the utterance of pup—you roll your eyes and try to shift your seating so your thong doesn’t stick to your folds. “Okay, fine, next.” You’re not even wiping anymore, the material wrung into your fingers, which lay in a fist by your side. “When’s the last time you got shitfaced?”
He gives a grimace of a smile. “Aw… boy, it's been a while.” He comes closer, going from leaning on the opposite drawers to right beside you on the counter. You’re sitting and he’s leaning but still he’s taller, just a bit level. “But there was that one time back in my more adventurous days, when I was younger. A bachelor party wh… well, the details don't really bear talkin’ ‘bout in polite conversation.” He raises his eyebrows. “Why ya askin’ all this? What’s will all the last times?”
“I’m curious, is all.” You smile, leaning back; if his eyes drop just a bit, he’ll see right through your top, maybe even underneath the cup of your bra. “Okay, fine one last… last time.” You giggle, breathy. “When’s the last time you… had sex?”
The air shifts, and Joel clears his throat before chuckling. “S’none of your business, young lady. A gentleman is not raised to kiss and tell.”
“Oh, but he gets shitfaced n’ tells?” You test, pouting and leaning closer toward him so you can quiet your voice. “Come on. I won’t tell anyone I even asked.”
He sighs, contemplating. “Well… it’s been a while.” He gets his fair share of lays, when he goes out to bars with friends or the rare date, but nothing too drastic. It has been a few months. “But you didn’t hear that from me, understood? Now, let’s drop it.”
But you don’t drop it, you brat. “You’re like the born again 40-year-old virgin,” you tease smoothly.
“Try 51, honey,” he grunts out, depositing your dry wipes at the disposal across you. He turns back around, restrained. 
“And what, you don’t wanna change that?” No, he thinks—what he wants is to take you over the counter ’til you’re sobbing and sore.
“Hey now, don’t think I don’t think about it sometimes. But I jus’—I don't wanna get involved with no one, even though... Hell, if I met the right person, I might just change my mind. Ain’t that the way it goes?”
“That’s such an antiquated view of sex,” you quip boldly, pressing your arms to your sides. “What happened to just having one good fuck?”
His eyes flicker down then up. “Well, hey. Slow down with the cursin’, sweetheart. And what in the hell makes you think I don’t do that?” He crosses his arms, offering a raised eyebrow and an insufferably smug smile.
“You didn’t necessarily object when I called you a twice-over virgin.”
He chuckles. “There’s more than one way to let it all out, my girl. You don’t have to just go all in to hit the spot.” The thought of him using his own—or some girl’s, actually, hand, throat… to get off, gets you all hot. You want to be that girl. His girl.
“Like how?” You ask, tilting your head to the side.
“Old man like myself probably can’t offer tricks you’ll find… useful.” He grunts, prepares to go upstairs. He reaches over you for the packet of wipes and your proximity urges him to stop, savor the closeness before the rational part of him reminds him you’re his best mate’s daughter.
“Okay, fine,” you say sweetly, voice much quieter—reserved just for the space between you two. “One last, then.”
Mmm, he huffs affirmatively, greenlighting your request. Impatient.
“Since when did old men do that?” You ask, inquisitive, placing emphasis on his self-proclaimed old man title.
“What? Entertain l’il minxes like yourself?” He responds, intending to break your newly-built façade of smugness.
“No,” you respond coolly. “Pack nine inches.” Then you’re clambering off the counter and walking to the stairs. He inhales sharply at the sudden vulgarity of your words, watches every move, every little bounce of your pert ass under the tiny shorts, the wave of your hair, every flex of the ridden-up lace thong against your back.
You turn briefly. “Coming or what?” And then you slip upstairs.
He hears the pad of your footsteps grow quiet and shuts his eyes, letting his composure waver in your absence.
Had he known Harold’s little girl would turn out to be the world’s biggest fucking tease—Jesus Christ. “Lord,” he rasps under his breath, repeating a mantra, holding back the urge to palm himself through his jeans. “Lord, have mercy.” Then he follows you, already spotting something different—the open door at the end of the hall.
His open door. It’s the one that directly mirrors your parents’, a revelation they all had a good laugh at. Sometimes if a matter was so pressing, a well-aimed pebble to the glass window would get Joel’s attention well enough. The lights are flicked on, cool-warm, in his bedroom. You’re in his bedroom. 
Or you’re not. He walks in to find no trace of you, save for the scuffed white sneakers by the doorframe. He toes off his own boots and spots the walk-in closet light’s also been flicked on. 
“Christ, you’re quick. You’re s’posed to be in the guest room.” He gestures vaguely to the one on the left side of the hall, even if you can’t see him.
“I had to pee. And I needed something to sleep in,” you say politely from inside. He grunts softly to himself at the thought of you undressing in there, the thought of you pulling on something of his. 
“Get out of there,” he orders. “I’ll get you somethin’.” Under his breath he mutters, “S’my goddamn closet.”
You chirp okay but he adds anyway: “Hurry, out.”
So you do follow him, even follow the order to hurry, because you’re hasty in your exit, clutching the cowboy hat to your chest. “Sit.” He points to the bed, watches you set the hat next to yourself gingerly. And one last time he asks the Lord for mercy, quietly and in his head, before shutting off every other rational thought that had stopped him tonight. 
You follow suit, hat still clutched to your torso, and he slowly comes to stand just in front of you, your face level with the buckle of his leather belt. When you shift he catches sight of the side of your bra, the lace of it. Eyes cast to your bare thighs, you pipe up.
“By the way, Mr. Miller—Joel, I didn’t mean to say any of—I mean, I thought we could talk comfortably about it… that… stuff, but I took it too f—” 
“You’re damn fuckin’ right you took it too far.”
He spits it out roughly, harshly. Like he’s scolding you. A zip of shock goes through you—you hadn’t heard him swear so loud before. Maybe he is. “I give you a free ride home at half past one, give you water, give you a place to sleep for the night knowin’ damn well your momma n’ dad would both have killed ya if you stepped foot in that house wearin’ next to nothing. What do I get in return?” He looks down at you, two rough fingers jerking your chin to look up at him.
“I—” you squeak, your voice and confidence betraying you. You’ve soaked through your panties at his sudden switch in behavior. Like you’d broken a dam.
“I get a brat… whorin’ herself out to me like I’m not over twice her age.” He tuts, like he really is disappointed, and your heart almost drops. “I get all these damn questions about sex, like you think I’ll break and fuck you on my kitchen counter.” He was considering it. “All the teasin’, all the skirtin’ around in a thong and a fuckin’…” He shakes your chin. “S’there even anythin’ in that head of yours, honey?”
Your mouth’d been open. You shut it and lick over your lips. “Yeah,” you defend weakly. His hand lowers to stroke at the column of your throat, then to hook under the tight strap of your bra, peeking out under the white of your top. He sidles it back and forth.
“S’this why you asked me all those dumb questions downstairs, huh, sweetheart? ‘Cause you wanted me to pull your top open and fawn over this”—he yanks the hat away, revealing your torso underneath—“little show o’yours?” Your cleavage is sinful, downright—perfect, perky, inviting him to mouth at your tits. Your sash sits prettily above them and he can’t help but pull at it, too, jolting you toward him. 
“N—” you inhale sharply, letting him pull and push you around as he pleases. He observes the blinding glittery writing on the pink material and lets out a humorless, self-satisfied huff of laughter.
“Number… one… girl.” His rough thumb grazes over the divots of the rhinestones. “That’s jus’ about right, ain’t it?”
“Yes,” you reply, voice small. 
“I’m not sure I agree, baby girl,” he drawls. His touch is precise—he knows exactly where to go, what he’s doing—but rough, dirty, almost, and the huge size of his hands don’t help to support otherwise. He tugs down your tank top so it’s tucked underneath your bra, and you yelp, making a move to cover yourself. He laughs again—“Sure, go all shy on me like you haven’t been showin’ yourself off to me all night. Knees.”
You get off quick, so quick you’re dizzy when you steady yourself on two knees. Two lithe hands make their way to his belt but he steps backward, revels in your evident confusion, clumsiness, the flush high on your cheekbones. “Buckle down, sweetheart.”
“But—”
“No goddamn buts. Listen to me.” He ends up being the one to make work of his belt, and while he talks you have to bite your lip to keep from going slack-jawed at the sight of him. You’d been kidding about the nine inches thing, but Christ he’s huge, strained against the tight denim. He’s thick even under the layers of clothing, and all you want to do is choke on him. “You’re gonna let me use that mouth t’get off, first thing,” he grunts, like this is all some chore to him, “because I am not goin’ to put my cock in my best mate’s daughter.”
“How about,” you croak lightly, “your fingers, then?”
“Jesu—we’ll see.” He tugs his cock out then, and he’s fucking huge, he really is, his tip angry and flushed and being rubbed along your lips, sticking them up with his precum. He sighs contentedly, humming low, the vibration sent straight to your half-open mouth. You suck on the tip of him, watch a slow smile form on his face. “That sash oughta say somethin’ else.”
Your silence grants elaboration. “Number one slut, maybe.” You shift on your thighs, trying to hide how aroused you are at his mean behavior. But he can tell, he can watch the way your blinking slows, the way your eyes glazed over, glassy and teary from trying to take more of him. He doesn’t tell you to slow down, or go faster; he just watches, eyebrows knitted, focused. “Budge up.” 
A hand, big and calloused, threads through your hair and gives a tug, goading your mouth open so more of his cock slips past. Your jaw aches from the attempt alone, so you pull off before you start choking too much, tonguing at the parts of him you can’t reach—lower, until you’re laving at his balls. He grunts, pleasured, simmered down. Attagirl. Then you’re back, bobbing up and down, trying despite yourself to take all of him, until your eyes are watery and you’re spluttering, choked.
“Now this is…” He says, and it comes out in a contented little sigh, “a number one throat. Keep those pretty lips open, honey, ‘m gonna fuck them.”
You do, your achy jaw slacked as he begins bucking into your mouth, the sounds of your choking only spurring him on. He’s dominant, taking and taking, and you’re humiliated to find how wet you are, soaked through the lace of your thong and darkening the denim of your shorts.  The tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat only gets him to thrust even faster, watching tears fall from your eyes, streaky with mascara. His best friend’s daughter, taking dick like a fucking champ.
He thrusts harder, each sound emitting a nasty, incoherent noise out of you, choked little gasps that have him harder each time. Gonna fuck this throat raw, he mutters. Since that’s what you wan’ed, ain’t it? You reach up, light fingers massaging his balls, and then his hips stutter, and with barely any warning, you feel his hot seed shoot into your throat, little satisfied groans leaving the man above you.
You swallow what you can, limited by his dick still in your mouth. When he pulls out you lap at the cum left behind, circle your tongue around your lips, make a whole show of it. You speak again, your voice raspy and spent: “Please, my turn?”
He lifts you up and smirks at the way you yelp in surprise, tossing you onto the bed and pulling you back onto your knees, your back to his chest. He wrangles your shorts off, gives your ass a smack as he pulls them down, enough to expose what’s underneath. The stiff material gathers just above your bent knees, restraining you from moving much.
“D’you know what,” he says, still sounding angry—like he’s lecturing you, stern, “I could’ve been in bed, wakin’ up at six to work… instead I gotta teach this little brat a fuckin’ lesson. Your old man not teach y’enough manners?” He tugs your bra down, thumbs roughly at your pebbled nipples, wrenching a moan out of you. He’s hard again, dick poking into your ass, and fuck you want him in you.
“He didn’t,” you sniffle, pitiful. “Y’gotta teach me, Daddy.”
“Oh, she likes that, don’t she?” He grumbles, like the title is annoying, juvenile. The way his cock twitches tells you otherwise. “Shut up, baby honey. I got this.” He reaches up your thighs and the ticklish, pleasurable sensation gets you hot.
Joel, you whimper, seizing in on yourself. He grabs your other arm, pulls it back toward him so you remain open and pliant. Please, wait.
“No time for waitin’, not when you spend hours prancin’ around like a little whore, sweetheart.” Without preamble, he’s running his fingers up your thighs again, not stopping this time until his fingers are pressing into your clit, rubbing over the thin, soaked fabric of your panties. “And you’re so fucking wet for me. My number one girl, ain’t you?”
“Yea,” you babble dumbly. “Your number one girl.”
“Thaaat’s right. My girl needs her needy cunt filled up, don’t she? By Daddy’s fat fingers.” You nod along, drawn in by the vulgarity of his words, the way he spits them out. You’ve spent several nights fantasizing how his big, rough hands would feel on you—and you’ve been outproven. He’s so fast, so skilled with his fingers; they feel delicious in you. And you can’t stop thinking about all of those girls he implied he’s slept with, the way they probably got to this first. Lucky bitches.
He’s gotten you so wet the entire night, even moreso now, that your pussy is making obscene squelching noises with each pump of his fingers, these nastily loud noises that humiliate you, that turn you on even more, that make you drip all onto Joel’s linen sheets. Fuck, you whimper. He swats at your ass. No swearing, he’s saying.
“Look up for me, honey. Up at the window.” Outside, the sun’s beginning to crawl over Austin, just the faint blues and yellows of early morning. You realize you know this because his curtain’s been pulled open—by him, earlier, before any of this even started, you assume. And the only other thing you can see other than the sky and the sliver of the neighborhood is your parents’ window.
“No,” you plead, looking down. He doesn’t let you, tugs you back up to look by your hair. He knows your parents won’t be up ’til seven-thirty latest. But you don’t know that, and for now, you don’t have to.
“What then, huh, sweetheart? When they go to check on the weather n’ they see their best friend poundin’ their young daughter? What’d they think?” You jerk away, overcome with pleasure and embarrassment at the imaginary situation. You feel his fingers pump in and out of you, filling you up. They’re probably thick and hot, glistening each time they come out. You’re tightening up; you’ll cum soon, make a mess on his hand, which already drips with slick. “So you better hurry. Better make a mess on me soon.”
“I am, I’m—I’m gonna,” you moan. You’re wrapped up in the way his fingers play you just the right way. You’re so close to the surface, and you’ve been wanting this for way too long, so you nod, let yourself get carried away by his words, let yourself give in, spreading your legs as wide as they can go as he fingerfucks you, working out the tension that’s been building up for forever. 
“That’s my number one girl,” he grins into your neck, and you’re convulsing release onto his hand, wetting it even further. He wraps a hand around your waist, keeps you close to his figure, his erection at the small of your back. “That’s it, honey. Did so well for me.”
“I want it,” you say meekly. “Even if they see.”
He groans. “Sweetheart, you must think real low of me to believe I’d put my cock anywhere near Harold’s daughter’s pussy.”
You tug your panties fully down, just enough so they fall off on their own the rest of the way, and guide his slick hand behind yourself, pressing his finger first into your folds again, sensitive, and then up toward your tighter hole.
You feel his breath tighten behind you when you say: “How ‘bout there?”
2K notes · View notes
sungbeam · 1 month
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𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐢 𝐝𝐨!
nonidol!jung wooyoung x f!reader
the one where you're stuck in denial and wooyoung's determined to not be stuck in the friend zone.
7.7k words, fluff, f2l, they've kinda got a banter thing going on, he's in a frat cuz i said so, college au, swearing, kissing, mentions of alcohol and food, pining, obliviousness, jealousy/insecurity if you squint...? (sorry mark), barely proofread, overall pretty wholesome
a/n: okay... wooyo brainrot going hard lately, but anyways, hope u enjoy <3
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The horizon glittered like a sea of molten gold when you stepped onto the sandy shores of the beach. Seagulls squawked overhead, riding the setting sky like your friends currently in the surf. You smiled to yourself, inhaling the briny air and slipping the shades off your nose and up onto your head. Your sandals hung limp in your hand as grains of sand embedded themselves into the soles of your bare feet while you jogged down the hill toward the bonfire and crowd of people.
The last week of summer before the fall semester brought your friends to convince you to come to their last bonfire at the beach. It wasn't difficult to persuade you.
“Oy, Yn! Head's up!"
Your eyes shot open and your head whipped up. Sandals fell from your hand as they came up to grab the frisbee out of the sky. It was plastic and blue, with scratches engraved into its surface from thorough use.
Hoots of approval erupted from further down the bank. "Nice catch!" Yeonjun praised as he jogged to meet you in the middle. A light blue Hawaiian shirt hung loose off his lean frame, unbuttoned to display the glorious, toned muscles of his chest.
You grinned, handing him the frisbee before picking your sandals back up. The two of you walked together back towards the group. "Thanks. How're you, Jun?"
He pulled you into a brief, yet affectionate side hug. "I'm great! You?"
"Same here." You had been itching for an outing—and dreading the first day back to class—so this would be good for you. “Who's here today?”
“Ah, y'know, the usuals.” He grinned at you then, sending you a teasing wink. “Your lover boy's here for sure. He wouldn't miss this for the world.”
Your skin warmed at the playful comment and you were failing to pretend it was just because it was hot out here. You rolled your eyes. “He is not my lover boy.”
“Based on the fact you knew who I was talking about though,” he drawled with a singsong tone. He let out a loud guffaw at your less than gruntled expression. “You know, he ditched his frat's annual pool party to be here.”
“That's his prerogative—I don't know how that relates to me,” you said with your palms raised up helplessly.
As you turned around to walk in front of him, Yeonjun wrinkled his nose with a grin. “It's cute when you're in denial.”
You scoffed, backpedaling in the opposite direction to where Changbin was hollering for him to hurry up with the frisbee. “Denial, as if.”
“Whatever you say, Cher,” he snickered, then raised his hand up in goodbye to jog across the sands to the game of frisbee.
You huffed a laugh and shook your head. The sun glared in your eyes as you trudged through the sand toward the sounds of your other friends hollering at you from the barbeque and speaker system set up. You flicked your shades back over your eyes, an easy smile coming to your face. “Hi everyone! Smells delicious over here.”
Chan was stationed at the small, portable barbeque with a bottle of beer in his hand. He smiled as you neared, digging his hand into the cooler beside him to pass you a fresh bottle of hard lemonade. “You're right on time, Yn. Dinner is almost ready.”
“I do believe I have impeccable timing,” you mused, thanking him while accepting the bottle. You dropped your sandals to the sand by your feet so you could free your hands and twist the bottle cap off.
“So glad you could make it, Yn!” Lia chimed in from her spot beneath the beach tent. She and Chaeryeong were lying on their stomachs with books splayed out before them for a light beach read.
“Hey guys! Glad I could make it, too—”
“Oh my god, is that Yn Ln?”
Your head whipped around in the direction of the new voice, and you watched as Felix trudged up the sandy bank with his surfboard under his arm, his free hand brushing back his strands of damp hair.
“Felix Lee, you've been chickening out on me all summer.”
He gave a lazy smile back at you as the two of you clasped hands in greeting, his being cold and wet from the waves and yours dry and gritty with sand. “You say that like you haven't been working all summer. Anyways, there's someone who's been dying to see you even more than me.”
You could spot the impish mischief in the blond's eyes from a mile away. “I feel like everyone's been telling me the same thing, but I haven't seen Wooyoung anywhere.”
“First time she says my name, and it's not even to my face,” came a dramatic sigh from somewhere behind you.
The organ in your chest kicked into action and you turned to face the newcomer bounding toward the group from up the hill where the parking lot was. He was clad in a pair of board shorts and a tank top, his skin glowing in the golden afternoon light. “Speak of the Devil,” you jested, poking your tongue into your cheek as you smiled.
Jung Wooyoung peered at you from over the rim of his sunglasses as they slipped down the slope of his nose, then pushed them up to nestle in his locks of dark brown hair. “That nickname's a new one.”
“It's an expression, Jung,” you said, eyebrow arched.
He gave yet another melodramatic sigh. “And she's back to the last name-calling. Would it kill you to try a 'sweetheart’ or a 'darling’ one of these days?”
“I think Yn would rather go into cardiac arrest before calling you by your first name, mate,” Felix gave a warm laugh as he sidled up beside his friend, propping his arm up onto Wooyoung's shoulder.
You lifted your bottle of lemonade in salute. “Lix, you are not wrong. Where've you been anyways, Jung?”
“Did you hear that? She cares about my whereabouts,” he gasped in giddy delight, palm over his mouth as if he and Felix were co conspirators. “I'll have you know, Ln, that Hyunjin and I were scouting for ice cream carts, but he had a phone call to take so I came back here.”
You gave a pleasant hum, knocking back a sip of the spiked lemonade. “An ice cream cart? A man after my own heart.”
“Took you that long to notice?”
You weren't given much time to ponder on that statement before everyone's attention turned to Chan, who announced that it was finally time to eat. By some miraculous force of nature, Hyunjin heard Chan's call, too, and came barreling down the hill toward base camp a few moments later. The frisbee was laid to rest, the books were marked for later, and the bonfire was set ablaze.
With delicious eats and favored company, the lot of you gathered around with one another to have dinner and watch the sun slowly sink into the horizon line. It was the perfect cap to a long and warm summer.
A few hours later, when the sun had only just disappeared from view to leave the sky a lingering shade of hazy orange, you settled beside Lia, Chaeryeong, and Yeonjun on one side of the fire pit while Chan sat on his stool with a ukulele he kept in his backseat. (You were pretty sure that ukulele lived in his backseat at this rate. Once, you saw him buckle the thing with its own seatbelt. To each their own, you supposed.)
“So Wooyoung-ah,” drawled Changbin from his perch beside Hyunjin, as the two of them plucked chips out of the same bag, “did Hongjoong say if movie night was confirmed for next Friday?”
All eyes flickered over to Wooyoung expectantly, and you found yourself meeting his gaze as his own flitted from your eyes and back to Changbin. “I’m pretty sure we're still on for Friday, yeah. All of you better be there,” he said pointedly, his finger drawing over the group.
“What time is it again?” Yeonjun asked as he shoved a marshmallow into his cheek. You smiled to yourself and poked at it, making him send an adorable scowl your way.
Wooyoung pursed his lips. “Ah… it should start around nine o'clock. But make sure you guys text me first so I can let you in. Sometimes the pledges don't care to ask before collecting fees at the door.”
Nods and murmurs of agreement resounded from around the group. Each one of you had your own experience with getting hassled for entry fee at the ATZ fraternity door before Wooyoung or one of his frat brothers came to collect you. You remembered Felix once joking about having all of your names on a list or something.
“Ln, you're coming, aren't you?” Wooyoung nodded at you from across the bonfire. He leaned his elbows onto his knees, his fine features illuminated by the fires.
Your pulse skipped. “Hm? Oh, uhm, yeah I'm pretty sure.”
A smile curled onto his lips. “Good.”
From beside you, Yeonjun lightly smacked the back of his hand against your shoulder. “Hey, you should totally invite that guy from our Econ class—y’know from last quarter—?”
Your eyebrows creased. “Mark?”
“Who's Mark?” The question Wooyoung posed was innocent, but you couldn't help hyperfixate on the way he tilted his head and pressed his lips together.
And for some reason, you wanted to clear this up. “Mark from Econ,” you said. “He, Jun, and I used to sit with each other during class. I dunno if he'd wanna come with…” You somewhat kept in touch with Mark over the summer, but it wasn't like the two of you hung out solo or anything.
Yeonjun shoved another marshmallow into his mouth, but still spoke through it, “Mawk's cool doe. I fink he iked you.”
“Ooh, someone had a crush on you, Yn?” Hyunjin snickered.
You wrinkled your nose at him. “He did not have a crush on me; he was just nice.”
“You should invite him anyway!” Chaeryeong piped up as she leaned over you and Lia to steal a marshmallow from Yeonjun's bag. The owner of said bag watched the stolen marshmallow get swallowed whole with wide eyes. “More the merrier.”
“As long as Woo lets him in,” Felix muttered into his plastic cup so his words were slightly muffled. You didn't hear what he said, but you saw Wooyoung whack him and induce a Felix-standard fairy giggle.
You reached into Yeonjun's marshmallow bag, pretending he wasn't gawking at you with even wider eyes to guilt you into not taking his precious. “Okay, I will ask, but no promises.”
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“Who the fuck is Mark from Econ?”
San barely glanced up from what he was reading and he flipped the page to the tune of Wooyoung's rapid pacing of their shared room. “He's from Econ, I'm guessing.”
Wooyoung stopped in the middle of the open space between their beds, hands braced on their hips. He had just gotten home from the bonfire after having dropped off Hyunjin, Yeonjun, and Changbin at their apartment. When he'd arrived home to the ATZ fraternity on Greek Row, he had not been surprised to find nearly everyone still awake, even at one in the morning.
San, as always, had his nose buried in a bout of nightly reading. He claimed it helped him sleep better, but how could it if he sometimes stayed up until five in the morning because he was so invested?
“That's very helpful, thanks,” Wooyoung deadpanned.
His friend spared him a glance from over the book's edge. Then after one peak at his sorry state, San sighed and stuck an old receipt into the book to mark it for later. “Did they mention a last name? Mark who?”
Wooyoung waved his hand around. “Agh, I dunno. Yeonjun said in the car ride home something about a Mark Lee…”
San blinked, head tilting to the side in thought. “Mark Lee? Like the Mark Lee from NCT down the street?”
For a moment, Wooyoung only stared with furrowed brows, allowing the information presented to process through his brain. When it hit him, it was clear as day. He groaned, dragging his palms down his face as he plopped down on the edge of his bed. “We can't let him into Friday's movie night, Sannie.”
“And why not? He's a nice dude.”
“That is exactly why we can't let him in!” At the way San's face arranged itself into the epitome of confusion, Wooyoung waved his hands around in a manic craze. “If he gets cozy with Yn, my chances are ruined.”
San gave up; he picked up his book again. “Sounds like a skill issue.”
“Movie night? Dark setting? Sharing blankets? Fairy lights overhead?” Wooyoung flopped onto his back and glared at the ceiling. It was the perfect way to get closer to you if he could somehow make it not weird since you were almost always with one of your other friends. This could arguably be his big breakthrough with you; it had all of the makings of a romantic night… as long as everything went right.
He just needed to be absolutely sure that your feelings and his feelings were on the same page.
San sighed, the book flopping onto his lap. “Why can't you just—I don't know—insert yourself?” He made a motion with his arm, his dimples digging into his cheeks as he pressed his lips together in a deadpan, arm jutting straightforward. “Insert. Like… insert.”
Wooyoung craned his head up from his position. “Like—insert?”
“Insert,” San affirmed. “She sits down, and you sit down next to her before anyone else can. Easy.”
“So you want me to be a parasite?”
San scoffed and fixed Wooyoung with a pointed look. “If you're not going to tell her to her face that you like her—”
“Parasitism, it is!”
As the days grew closer to the ATZ frat's annual fall movie night, you had to admit that you might have been severely procrastinating on extending an invitation to Mark. Mark was, by all counts, a nice guy. He was a good guy, in fact. But it wasn't like the two of you were buddy-buddy with each other, as Yeonjun made it sound like to everyone else. It was the equivalent of your mom asking you to invite your neighbor to your birthday party—they were nice enough, but you weren't close enough to ensure this wouldn't be awkward.
Plus, you couldn't get this sticky feeling out of the back of your mind about Yeonjun claiming Mark liked you. There was no problem, per se, with a guy liking you. It was just that… you weren't interested in him like that. You also didn't want other people thinking that you were interested in him either, and getting the wrong idea.
You tried to convince yourself that you weren't interested in anyone at the moment, but you knew, deep in your heart of hearts, that wasn't true. You just didn't want to admit it. (A tragedy, indeed.)
When the first Friday night of the university term rolled around, you and your friends pulled up outside the ATZ frat house without Mark Lee. You'd admitted to them that it was awkward, so the subject was easily brushed away. There was nothing they could do about it now, anyway.
When they strolled up to the entryway, Yeonjun told the pledges at the front that they were with Wooyoung. As per protocol, they forced you all to wait outside until Wooyoung could get there from wherever he was within the house. You could hear the music thumping from the backyard, along with chatter and laughter, all from people waiting for the movie night to start.
You shivered as you hugged your arms around your body, a cool autumn breeze blowing past. “Damn, I should've brought a jacket,” you laughed, hopping around from foot to foot to stay warm. Or maybe you should've worn a sweater rather than a T-shirt over your pajama shorts.
Lia perked up. “Oh! I think I have o—”
Felix's eyes widened as he interjected, “No, you don't!”
Everyone passed Felix a strange look, especially you and Lia. Curiously, you watched as Felix seemingly communicated with Lia in silent, urgent facial expressions before smiling at you like his regular, ray-of-sunshine self.
You blinked. What in the world…?
Lia turned back toward you with an apologetic wince on her face. “I think I took my jacket out of the backseat before I left the house. Sorry, Yn.”
“Oh, that's okay,” you assured her. “I'll, uh, probably steal Chan's blanket or something once we get settled.”
Wooyoung appeared at the door moments later, a lollipop stick between his teeth and a cozy dark blue hoodie on his frame. Like many others here tonight, he was in a pair of pajama pants and fluffy slippers. “Hey guys! Come on in.”
Thankful for the excellent timing, you all slipped inside the front doors of the frat to get to the backyard. The movie night was usually held in the backyard space just because it could hold more people. The movie was then projected against the back of the house with an old projector that was apparently passed down from generation to generation of the frat. There was oftentimes a table to the side that was stocked with snacks and booze for all those attending.
Wooyoung led the group of you out into the backyard, specifically to a spot with a decent view, already laid out with picnic blankets and regular blankets. “Tada!” He exclaimed with jazz hands, catching the amused gaze of others nearby. “I reserved a spot for all of us!”
“Without permission!” Somebody—you recognized Yunho's teasing grin from over by the snack table—yelled.
“Seonghwa hyung said I could!” Wooyoung shot back in proper little sibling fashion. He stuck one of his hands into his pockets and took his lollipop out. “Anyways, help yourselves!”
“This is really cool of you, dude,” Changbin said as he bumped Wooyoung's fist and settled on one corner of the setup.
Chan hobbled over toward Changbin. “Yeah, man. We really appreciate it.”
You murmured your own thanks to Wooyoung as you passed by him to decide on where to sit.
His eyes flickered over your form, noting the way you used your palms to keep your arms warm. “Hey, Ln.”
“Jung,” you mused back.
“You didn't bring a jacket?” He asked incredulously. “It's gonna get colder tonight.”
Sheepishness washed over you and you scratched your head with an embarrassed smile. “I'll be fine under the blankets.”
He shook his head, dissatisfaction clear on his face, as he stuck his lollipop back into his mouth and began shouldering off his jacket.
Your eyes widened when you realized what he was doing. “Hey, wait—I’ll be fine—”
Wooyoung held out the jacket to you, eyebrows lifting in silent communication. 'Put it on.’
You pursed your lips and considered it for a moment. You knew that he was right and it was going to get colder later tonight. You could only bring the blanket up so far… Slowly, you slipped into it with his help, and your upper body was immediately grateful for the warmth.
Wooyoung spun you around to face him again, swiftly reaching for the zipper at the bottom to zip you up.
“Oh, you don't have to—” You shut up with one look from him. You could feel your skin begin to warm, not just because of the residual heat from Wooyoung's body heat on the jacket. You weren't exactly used to this, but you also weren't going to complain. This article of clothing smelled sinfully good—was that his cologne or how he always smelled?
When you were all zipped up, his lips pressed into a content smile. “I'm gonna go grab another jacket. I'll be right back,” he said, throwing a thumb back in the direction of the house.
Based on the fact he was only wearing a tank top underneath the jacket you now wore, you nodded vigorously. “Yeah, of course,” you stammered. “Thanks.”
His smile widened. “No problem, Yn. You look good in it.”
You didn't get another word in because he was darting across the backyard and disappearing inside the house before you could. You were sure you looked as flustered as you felt, and you slowly sank onto the blanket set up beside Chaeryeong and Lia.
From down the line, you could feel your friends’ eyes and wagging brows.
“Don't say anything,” you said to them, pulling your knees to your chest and pretending you weren't in heaven from how nice the jacket felt and smelled. (Oh god, were you being weird about this?)
A snort from Hyunjin.
Felix giggled. “Not a single word.”
By the time Wooyoung returned, Hongjoong was beginning to fire up the movie of choice tonight (Parasite—how fitting) and the backyard had been substantially populated.
Though there was no Mark Lee tonight to be a paradise about, Wooyoung settled on the other side of Chaeryeong who was right beside you. There was a bucket of popcorn per every three or so of you. You dipped into the bucket closest to you, which was the one in front of Chaeryeong.
At some point during the movie, Chaeryeong raised her head from where she was resting against your shoulder and searched the area around you. “Hey,” she whispered to you, “my friend from the Delta sorority is over there and I'm gonna go say hi.”
You nodded. “Sounds good.”
As she clambered to her feet, you met Wooyoung's eyes from her other side. He had tugged his own hood over his head, so only his bangs hung out of it. He nodded toward Chaeryeong in question: ‘Where’s she going?’
“Just a friend,” you answered quietly.
From your other side, you heard Lia make a small gasping sound. “Ooh, I'm gonna say hi, too!”
When both of them had cleared out, you craned your head around to see if you recognized the Delta they went to greet. You did not, and so you stayed put.
It didn't take long for you to realize that you were pretty sure Lia and Chaeryeong were over there for much more than a hello, which was completely fine—you were simply going to hog all of their blanket space—
A throat cleared on your left side, and you watched Wooyoung take the shared popcorn bucket and scoot over into where Chaeryeong was sitting next to you. “So we can reach easier,” he reasoned, shoveling a handful of buttered kernels into his mouth.
You couldn't and didn't argue with that. Though, you were unsure of how fast your heart was beating now that you and he were shoulder to shoulder, leg to leg.
But you turned your attention back to the movie because obviously there was nothing wrong with this. There was absolutely nothing about sitting this close to Wooyoung that was making you flustered—
You jolted when your hand touched his in the popcorn bucket, both of you having blindly reached in.
Your eyes met in the dark again, and you hoped he couldn't see just how affected you were by the touch. “Sorry,” you whispered, withdrawing your hand swiftly.
“No, it's okay,” he murmured back, a small lift in the corner of his lips. “Nothing to be sorry about.”
When the movie reached its inevitable conclusion, it was nearing midnight. Though the projector was turned off, there were plenty of people still lingering to chat and drink. You wiped your hands on a napkin and smeared on a dollop of hand sanitizer that Chan usually kept in his pocket. (The crazy man was always prepared.)
Lia and Chaeryeong eventually came back to the group, but you and Wooyoung scooted over so they could sit next to each other on your right. Your arm was still pressed to his arm, and you still kept his jacket on. It had done a brilliant job at keeping you warm tonight; you were dreading parting with it.
“Can we help you guys clean up or anything?” You asked him as you passed him Chan's bottle of hand sanitizer to use.
He hummed, “Uh, I think we should be okay. We'll probably just end up leaving half of it out to clean up in the morning anyway.”
You nodded, taking the hand sanitizer back from him so you could pass it down the assembly line to Chan.
“Oh, by the way,” Wooyoung piped up. “Whatever happened to that Mark guy you were gonna invite?”
You paused, cupping the back of your neck. “Ah… yeah, I didn't actually invite him,” you admitted. “I just thought it would be awkward 'cause we're not really that close.”
He bobbed his head in understanding. “I see, I see. So what Yeonjun said about him…?”
“Your first mistake was listening to Yeonjun.”
Two people down, you heard a squawk of indignation. “Hey! I heard that!”
A chuckle rang out amongst your group. Changbin and Chan's end of the blanket mass suddenly began standing up, the former of which was propping up a half-conscious Felix, citing needs to get the blond to bed. The rest of you wholeheartedly agreed and joined them, empty popcorn buckets in hand to deposit back at the snack table.
As soon as your bare legs hit the cold night air, you gazed forlornly at the blanket you'd been using before. “Jung, let me give you back your jacket,” you said, catching his attention before he wandered off.
But instead of waiting for you to take off the garment, he placed a hand over yours to stop you from unzipping it. “Keep it,” he said.
“Keep it?” You parroted back dumbly.
He broke into a smile. “Yeah, it'll keep you warm until you get home.”
For a moment, you could only stare. Was he always this pretty? Or was it just the fairy lights that were turned on overhead? You swallowed, your lips curling into a small smile back. “Oh okay—thanks. I'll get it back to you as soon as possible.”
“Whatever you say,” he chuckled and reached over to pat your head. The action made a jolt of warmth run down your spine from your head to your toes. Maybe you were just tired.
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Saturday night, you found yourself jostling around in the crowd of all the other late night snackers at the fast food chain a few blocks from the stadium. The first college football game of the season had just ended, and all of your friends who had gone agreed to get a bite to eat afterward. It seemed, however, that nearly everyone else at the game had the same idea.
The establishment was packed to the brim, at least the ordering area was. Your friends had gone outside to score one of the picnic benches for your group, while you, Changbin, and Felix were stuck here to order. (It was all because the three of you sorely lost a game of rock, paper, scissors, and now your wallet would pay, quite literally.) Servers behind the counter hollered out order numbers, and plastic trays of burgers, fries, milkshakes, and grease passed hands.
Your mouth was already watering; cheering and screaming for three hours was a good way to make yourself famished. “Do we have everyone's orders?” You asked your friends, sticking your head in the open space between their shoulders.
Changbin flashed you the group text. “If it's not here, they're starving.”
“Amen to that,” Felix grunted, shaking his bangs out of his eyes and scrolling through his social media fees. “I think Hyunjin and Yeonjun purposely ordered the triple cheeseburger and loaded fries to break our banks.”
“We need to watch that WikiHow video on winning rock, paper, scissors,” you said. The three of you sighed altogether—next time, you wouldn't rely on just luck to get you through something so high stakes.
“You guys look like we just lost the actual game,” mused a familiar voice behind you.
Wooyoung appeared at your side, elbow propped onto your shoulder, accompanied by a couple of his frat brothers, San and Jongho. Wooyoung had a university branded cap over his head with a pair of cherry red heart glasses seated up on the bill, a bit of school spirit in the form of black and red. “I see you lost rock, paper, scissors, Ln.”
You scowled. Of course he knew how you ended up here. After all, he was subjected to it whenever he hung out with your group of friends. “Do you wanna take over my share of the bill, Jung?”
“Do I get something in return?”
“I don't know, your jacket?”
He grinned. “Oh, so you weren't planning on just giving it back to me?”
“I will gladly keep it if you don't want it. She's in the dryer right now,” you shot back. At some point, your heart had kicked up in your chest again, perhaps at the proximity of Wooyoung to you. There wasn't much space in here as it was.
The line scooted up about two centimeters, and Wooyoung's eyebrows shot up in amusement. “You’re washing it after wearing it once? Or maybe you've been wearing it for the past twelve hours and you're just not telling me.”
You ignored the warmth creeping up your neck. “It's called being courteous.”
“It's called wasting water,” he teased, the elbow on your shoulder shifting to an arm slung around both of your shoulders.
“Oh please. It's being washed with the rest of my clothes!” You exclaimed in your defense as you grew more flustered.
Something giddy lit up on his face as the group of you moved up closer to the register. “So that jacket's gonna smell like you? I might not ever wash it again, Ln.”
It was an unholy amount of time later that you, your friends, and the frat trio finally made it out of the stuffy fast food restaurant with your massive order. Instead of a picnic bench, however, it seemed that both your friends and Wooyoung's were exiled to the curb by the street. The sight was rather laughable—around fifteen or so people seated on the firelane like a line of abandoned ducklings.
Everyone practically swarmed the to-go bags that you and your friends deposited in the grass. You picked up one of the cartons of fries for yourself, standing just outside the circle that had formed.
Mingi was recalling one of the plays from tonight's game with vivid acting when you heard your name being called from down the road.
Curious, your eyes tracked the sound, only to see a group of fraternity guys making their way towards you from the direction of Greek Row. Among them, it was Mark Lee that you recognized first in a red bomber jacket and backwards cap. His cheeks were flushed and eyes twinkled like a pair of diamond earrings.
“YN LN! IS THAT YOU?” He giggled, and you just knew that the poor guy was drunk off his face.
One of his friends with a bunny-looking face grappled onto his arm with a groan. “Sorry! He was double-dared to take one too many shots by this bastard,” he said when they neared and cut a glare to one of the tall boys behind him. Said tall boy whistled, pretending not to hear him.
Yunho cupped his hands around his mouth and gave a loud holler. “Aye, N-City! Jungwoo, where the hell have you been, man?"
“It’s called the engineering program, bro,” the one you assumed to be Jungwoo grumbled. He hobbled over to where Yunho was seated in the circle and knocked his fist against the latter's. “Oh my god, can I steal a fry? That line over there looks awful.”
Mingi lifted his tray of fries up for Jungwoo to pluck a few.
Mark, with the supervision of his bunny friend, scuttled over toward you. “Fries sound so good, dude. Like bro. BRO. I am so hungry.” He giggled again as you extended your fries out to him in amusement. “Thanks, Yn. Do I still owe you for coffee that one time?” He slurred, shoving the slices of potato into his mouth.
You chuckled, offering his friend some fries, but was quietly rejected. “Coffee? That was like, once, Mark. Don't worry about it.”
“I know, but like—like, I keep thinking about it, y'know,” he confessed. In the streetlight, you could see his cherry red cheekbones… almost the color of Wooyoung's glas—what. Where did that thought come from?
Absent-mindedly, your eyes flickered across the circle to where you knew Wooyoung was seated with his brothers. To your surprise, you found him already staring your way.
“—it’d be cool to get coffee again sometime, and be friends! I almost took the next econ class in the series 'cause of you.”
“Oh, really?” You asked, forcing yourself back to the people in front of you and being unable to suppress a giggle. You were touched by the sentiment, and frankly, relieved to hear that you and he were pretty much on the same page about being friends. “The next class in the series is kind of ass though, so I'm glad you aren't gonna have to suffer through it.”
“Aw, but we're all in this together!” He chirped.
His friend gave Mark a small pat on his arm. “We should get a move on before the crowds get worse.”
Mark's eyes widened and he gasped. “You're right, hyung!”
“See you, guys,” you said with a small wave. The two boys threw a similarly warm goodbye to you as they slipped past you and toward the jam-packed fast food joint you had braved just earlier.
Across the wide social circle, Wooyoung couldn't hear exactly what yours and Mark's conversation entailed because of all the chatter. Sue him for being caught staring at you, but he couldn't keep his eyes off you, as per usual. There was a familiar pang in his chest as he watched you bid Mark and Doyoung from the NCT fraternity goodbye, and he mindlessly finished off the tray of fries in front of him.
Although you technically implied to him last night that there was nothing between you and Mark, there was undoubtedly a part of him that still felt jittery at the thought.
There was a nudge against his arm. “Glare even harder, and Mark might wake up with a pair of holes in the back of his head.”
Wooyoung moved his scowl to San beside him, a snicker falling from his best friend's mouth. “I'm not glaring,” Wooyoung protested and reached for a napkin in the middle of the circle.
“Oh, right,” San drawled, “you're staring at Yn.”
“Yes, and?” He shot back. “What'd'you think they were talking about?” He could practically hear the sound of your giggles in his ears after Mark said something. Wooyoung didn't like the way that made his stomach churn—the fact that this other guy was making you laugh. Did he make you laugh like that? Did you look that radiant when you were with him? God, why did you have to be so gobsmackingly gorgeou—
San considered him for a moment as he chewed on the bite of his burger. “Why don't you ask her yourself?” He muttered with a vague gesture of his aioli-covered fingers, “I dunno, go offer to drive her home or something.”
“That's the first good idea I've heard all night.” Wooyoung hopped to his feet, a misshapen plan (of sorts) manifesting in his head. Hopefully it would work out better than the movie night one. (But by some metrics, he could consider movie night a success…)
San exhaled under his breath as his friend went to go find a trash can first. “Can't believe he actually went with that,” he said with a shake of his head. He could only hope now that his friend would finally put himself out of his misery.
Having finished your post-game snack, drowsiness was slowly seeping into your joints and the corners of your eyes. It was bound to be nearing midnight at this time, and with all of the excitement within the past two days, you were about ready to head back.
You swept your eyes over the group to gauge if any of your other friends looked about ready to go home, too, when you felt someone tap your shoulder.
“Can I give you a lift home?” Wooyoung asked as he stood there, cap and glasses hanging from his hand while the other carded through his hair.
Well. “It's like you read my mind, Jung,” you mused. “Do you and your brothers not usually carpool though?”
“Eh, Hongjoong hyung brought the minivan.”
You didn't know why that comment made you laugh—perhaps it was the image of a bunch of ATZ frat members shoved into a soccer mom minivan with Hongjoong at its helm—but a laugh most definitely tumbled from your lips. The sound and sight reflected in Wooyoung's expression, a boyish grin coming to his face and reaching his eyes. “Alright, fine. As long as by taking me home, you aren't abandoning them on the streets.”
The two of you began walking side by side to where he would lead you back toward wherever his car was parked. “Nah,” he reassured you with a shake of his head. He took his cherry heart glasses and slid them up into his hair. “A nice walk home might keep them humble, y'know?”
“And who's to say you don't need humbling, Jung?” You joked.
A smirk curled up on his mouth like a cat's tail. “What? Are you going to humble me, Ln?”
You gave a nonchalant shrug to cover up the rapid pulse hammering away in your veins. “I could finesse your keys, you never know.”
He motioned to the left where his sedan was parked along the side of the street. “I'll have you know that you already have one of my keys,” he said as he rounded his car to reach the driver's seat.
You crinkled your brows together, your hand lingering on the door to the passenger's seat as he fished his keys out to unlock the car. “What key?”
“The key to my heart,” he winked, smile widening.
You glanced away, tongue jamming into your cheek to suppress your flustered smile, but by the sounds of Wooyoung's glee from the other side of the car, you were unsuccessful. “You tell that to all the girls?” You finally said when the car chirped and you slipped into the passenger's seat.
Your car doors slammed in tandem.
“Nope, that one's just for you,” he said, tossing his hat in the back and starting the engine.
The fluttery feeling in your chest was making it difficult for you to sit still. If you were so enraptured by his scent clinging to the fabric of his jacket, then his car must have been level two. Your body melted into the car seat, and you turned your head to watch the world pass through the window with a content expression on your face.
There had been something gnawing at you for a while now. You knew Wooyoung boasted a rather flirty personality; he had always been pretty outgoing and teasing ever since you met. There were so many signs that pointed to him liking you more than just a friend, but you didn't want to jump to conclusions. (Denial? What was that?)
Was this different from when Yeonjun suggested that Mark liked you? Well, yes. This was different because you… it was different because this was Wooyoung, not Mark. It was different because you were suddenly marinating on the idea of him liking you, and not dismissing it like you had with Mark.
You were growing giddy at the idea, in fact. And maybe that made you nervous.
A thought appeared in your head. “Oh, I guess it's a good thing you're taking me home, because now I can give you back your jacket.” For a moment, you deeply considered casually “forgetting” to return the garment, but your integrity won out.
You saw him glance over at you before returning his eyes to the road. “Right, right. Good idea,” he murmured. He ran his teeth over his bottom lip then. “Hey, uhm, weird question.”
“Uh oh,” you joked.
He chuckled. “Yah, it's not an 'uh oh!’ I was just wondering what Mark came to talk to you about.”
Oh. That wasn't exactly what you had in mind when he said he had a weird question.
Your eyes flickered over to him for a second. “You seem awfully interested in me and Mark,” you drawled, uncertain of where this was going.
“I mean—I know you said last night that you guys aren't that close,” he supplemented, tongue swiping over his lip as he turned the corner onto your street, “but he seemed pretty friendly tonight.”
“Mark’s always friendly,” you pointed out. Part of it was just so you could prod a little and figure out why Wooyoung was pursuing this.
“You're not wrong.”
Your head tilted to the side. “So?”
“So?”
You let out a small laugh. “Hey, Jung, what's going on? You're usually not so antsy about these things, especially not with me.” You chewed on the inside of your cheek and your fingers drummed mindlessly against your thigh in anticipation.
Wooyoung glanced over at you again, his lips pressing together. He was entering your apartment complex street now and carefully pulled up along the curb outside. “I would argue that it's the complete opposite.”
“Huh?”
“You can't possibly think that this whole time I haven't been head over heels for you?” He blurted.
Even if the car had stopped, your heart rate most definitely hadn't.
At your loss for words, he killed the engine. “Like, you think I stare at you for fun? No, actually, I stare at you because I'm literally just so attracted to you, it's survival.”
You sucked in a breath. “Jung…”
“And you know, I try to be as obvious as I can, but maybe I'm not? And I'm—I’m trying to be as loud about my feelings as possible,” he continued on, adding in an accompaniment of sweeping hand gestures. “Without actually admitting to my feelings, as stupid as it sounds.”
“Jung. Jung, wait—”
“This wasn't supposed to turn into a ramble, but what I'm trying to say is—”
“Wooyoung.”
He screeched to a halt, eyes widened as if you'd just grown two heads.
Oh, you were so endeared by this man. In this snapshot of time, there was nothing other than utter adoration in your heart for him. “You were probably being very loud, but I'm also hard of hearing sometimes.”
“Extremely,” he agreed with his mouth pressed into a line.
“Hey!”
He broke into a grin that was soft at the corners and tender at the eyes. “Just so you know, I don't treat anyone else like you. You're probably the only person I will ever address by their last name as a term of endearment.”
You laughed, skin warming to the touch. “I'll admit—same here.” A jolt of electricity warmed down your spine at the admission.
“I can't persuade you to even try a 'honey’ or a ‘baby?’ Not even a 'sweetie pie?’”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Maybe you'll unlock some of them as time goes on. It has to feel right.”
He leaned forward onto the center console, a small, happy sigh falling from his mouth. “Okay,” he said quietly. “I can deal with that.”
In reply, you twisted around in your seat to face him, your head leaned against the car seat. “Just so we're clear though…”
“I like you—I do.”
“Good.” Your lips curled into a smile. “I like you, too.”
In the low light of the car, the sky darkened and the only light coming from the streetlight a few cars away, you and Wooyoung shared a soft moment together. The thing that had been needling at the back of your mind was finally subsiding.
Swallowing, you reached forward to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes, and his eyes seemed to shudder. “Yeonjun once called you my lover boy.”
“I'm pretty sure all of our friends knew how I felt,” he snorted.
You made a small gesture with your shoulder, wincing. “Except for me?”
“Except for you,” he sighed jokingly. “Utter pain. But you know what?”
“What's that?”
“I think I like being your lover boy.”
You slowly nodded. “It has a nice ring to it.” You couldn't help another smile as you rolled it over and over in your mind. Your lover boy, your lover boy, your lover boy… “My lover boy.”
Wooyoung pressed his palms together like he was praying, his hands touching his lips. “Give me the strength—I can't not kiss you after hearing that come out of your mouth.”
Your heart gave an aggressive palpitation. “Well… I wouldn't be opposed.”
“Hey, lover girl,” he said, mouth split open with a pretty grin, “can I kiss you?”
How could you refuse?
He leaned forward and cradled one side of your face with one hand so he could press his lips against your own. If there was any doubt left in your mind about how you felt for him, it was all dashed away once he kissed you.
When your eyes fluttered open, you met his gaze.
“I think,” he murmured, thumb drawing over your bottom lip, “I just fell for you all over again.
God, how could you compete with that line? You ducked your head, unabashedly flustered. He only cooed at your reaction and came forward to smack a long kiss to your cheek.
When it was determined that you would finally head up to your apartment for the evening, you reluctantly clambered out of his vehicle. He rolled down his window so he could drape himself out of it like a damsel in a tower, his eyes shaped like hearts.
“Is it safe to say that I can keep your jacket?” You jested, stopping in front of his window.
He huffed a laugh. “You know, I thought you'd never ask. But you'll have to trade me for something of yours.”
“Deal, Jung.” You were certain you could think of something.
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a/n: pls remember to reblog + comment if u enjoyed <3
atz m.list
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samkerrworshipper · 20 days
Text
close your eyes
leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader, arsenal x reader
part 1 of beautiful girl series-> pt.2 -> pt.3
warnings: drug abuse, drug addiction, mentions of sexual assault, sexual assault, jordan and leah r broken up, basically a trauma dump, unedited, if you are not in an okay headspace this fic is not for u, based on beautiful boy
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You find it hard to remember the last time you felt loved. 
Not the kind of love that people tell you everyday, no, real unconditional, meaningful, purposeful love. The kind of love where a person looks at you like you single handedly hung the stars and the moon, the kind of love where it feels like nobody could love you in the same way, the same love that shakespeare wrote poems about, the same love that you know that you could never be capable of receiving. 
You don’t really blame anybody but yourself, how could people love you, how could people want to love you? You weren’t a loveable person, in your opinion you were quite frankly the exact opposite. 
Maybe when you were eight, when you were cute and loveable, when you had cute little piggy tails and wore pink overalls and only wanted to dance and talk about unicorns. 
Maybe when you were ten and you spent every afternoon practising football in the backyard with your moms. 
Maybe when you were twelve and your only aspirations for life were to win your school spelling bee and captain england just like your mom. 
From then on, it all seemed like one big blur. 
From 12 onwards you don’t think a lot of you was lovable, hell you hardly thought eight year old you was lovable, a tiny little orphan who had seen so much of the world and yet none of it, yet your moms had spent every single day trying to make you feel like you were and it had worked. For possibly the first time in your life, you’d felt that love, like a whole galaxy revolved around you, like no matter what happened in your life, you could face it. 
It was funny how fast that feeling could fade. 
It wasn’t really that surprising that you’d seeked out something to fill the hole inside of you, or at least that’s how you saw it. 
It started at 14, when you were so consumed with all of the pain around you, the shit storm of broken relationships and the broken home that now replicated the same one you’d come from. Babies learnt to self soothe by being left to cry, teenagers learnt to self soothe through pain. 
First it was spending as much time as possible out on the pitch with your moms, every single one of your afternoons spent practising, and any minute you weren’t on the pitch it was non stop studying. 
You formed a anger for it, a pure hatred for the sport that your moms were so fond of, a sport that had brought them together and inevitably forced them apart. 
At 15 you left football behind, you focused on your school, spending every spare minute on your studies, they headaches and migraines, the stress, the anxiety, it was all good, it proved that you were trying, it filled the hole inside of you. 
When you were 15, you stopped caring. Your mama stopped caring, she moved 3 hours away for her own career, she didn’t have time to care about your school work, as for your mom, it wasn’t an easy job captaining the lionesses to a european championship, she had bigger problems then you.
When you turned 16, everything changed. Your mom tore her acl, Lia moved in, there wasn’t any room for you, let alone room for you to be loved. Your mama stopped visiting as often, only when it was necessary, for the first time in a while, you felt alone, truly alone. 
When you turned 17, you found other ways to self soothe. Babies cried for attention, out of hope that they’d find some of that love that they were missing when they were alone. Babies cried because they had no other way of conveying the loneliness and desperate need they had for whatever they were seeking. Teenagers do stupid things in search of the same thing, love, attention and in search of something. Teenagers are stupid by default, you weren’t unbeknownst to that, the eight year old version of you though would have swore six ways to sunday that you’d never behave in the way you were, out of fear that you’d end up back where you’d come from, that you’d lose the only family that had ever showed you a glimpse of love, teenage you figured there wasn’t any more love for you, it had all been swallowed up by younger you, taken before you could really understand the magnitude of that love, before you needed it the very most. 
Maybe it was the pot speaking, or the nicotine from your vape, or it was just the overwhelming cloud that always seemed to hit when you were high. It would fade eventually, it always did, all the deep emotional shit that made you want to cry would go, and you’d be left mellowed out, all of your feeling sucked out like a deep exhale, sometimes it just happened to be that you had to feel it all before you felt nothing, before the overwhelming numbness hit you and the hole in your heart was filled once again. 
You flinched at the knock on your bedroom door, you were grateful enough for the warning, it had taken a lot of convincing to your mom and her best friend before they’d finally agreed to it. 
You didn’t bother trying to hide your vape, the joint you had been smoking had been put out a couple of minutes ago. 
“Come in.”
You stayed sat on the ledge of your window, your head hanging halfway out, the cool london winter breeze making your lips numb and your face pink. 
The door opened slowly and you kept your eyes on the outside street, watching the cars drive past underneath you. 
“Hey, dinners ready if you want to come down.”
You nodded absentmindedly, avoiding Lia’s eyeline. 
“It’s freezing, close your window.”
You looked over at the swiss woman, a woman who was now so familiar in your home that you saw her more than the woman you called your mama. 
“I’m good.”
You took a deep breath, one last inhale of the chilly air before turning to face Lia and uncurling your body, standing up and walking towards the door where she was standing. 
“If you want to live in Antarctica then that’s your call.”
You try your best to suppress the eye roll, instead opting to pull your vape from your pocket and take a deep inhale, it’s not as good as the cold air but it’s something. It also helps to cover the weed scent that you’re trying to cover up. 
Lia walks behind you, shaking her head at the puff of vapour that hits her right in the face as you make your way down the stairs and into the living room and then into the dining room. 
Your mom is sitting at the table, fiddling with the cutlery and looking down at the meal that you know she most definitely did not cook. 
It was one of the only bonuses of having Lia around, when jordan left the healthy and yummy food had turned into mostly take away and food that wasn’t cooked on a stove top because Leah had learnt her lesson after the multiple calls to the fire department. 
You sat down in your normal chair, taking another hit of the vape in your hand before setting it down on the table and replacing it with a fork. 
“I thought we’d talked about no vapes at the dinner table, bubba.”
You focused down at the bowl of spaghetti that was in front of you, it was the night before a game, which meant carb loading, you’d never been fond of pasta, although you supposed that had slipped Leah’s mind in the last couple of months. 
“I’m not using it at the table, am I?”
You could feel the look of disapproval from your mother from the other side of the table. 
You pushed your fork into the pasta, searching for a meatball instead of the pasta that you were desperate to avoid. 
“Bubba I think you can put it away for half an hour every night, please.”
You pull your spare hand out of your hoodie, grabbing at the vape and slipping it into the pocket. 
You focus on stabbing the meatball that your focus has locked onto, keeping your eyes downcast and focused on locating all of the saucy balls and shoving them into your mouth as quickly as possible. 
Just as you’ve located and eaten all of the orbs that you can guarantee Lia made all by herself, your mom directs conversation at you once again, pivoting from whatever she was talking to Lia about, 
“We’re playing in Manchester tomorrow night, you’re welcome to come with us on the bus if you want, or you could go with mumma, I think she’s planning to drive up to watch the girls. The girls haven’t seen you in a while though, Lotte has been missing you, she’s been asking me about you.”
You’d distanced yourself from your moms club teammates for a multitude of reasons, but it all stemmed down to the hatred that you had for arsenal, the love that your mom had for the club, the club that took all of her time, her teammates that saw more love then you felt you did. 
“I think I'll just stay home for the weekend, mama is going to be in town anyways. Plus Maya and I were planning to do something tomorrow night.”
She was going to be in town, it didn’t mean you had plans to see her. 
“Maya? Do I know a Maya?”
You tried your best not to be annoyed at your moms sudden concern about your social life. 
“She’s just a friend.”
You could practically feel the eyebrow raise from the other side of the table.
“What were you and Maya planning on doing tomorrow night?”
You looked up for the first time, gritting your teeth.
“I don’t know, hang out, have some fun, nothing special. I want to see mama and I want to hang out with friends, is that not enough for me to stay home for the weekend,? It'll only be a night.”
You watched your mom collapse in, her eyes straying to the side to look at Lia. 
“So it’s friends now, plural? I talked to Jord yesterday, she didn’t say that you had anything planned with her for this weekend.”
You wanted to bolt upstairs back to your room, light a joint and stick your head back out of your window and enjoy the serenity that came from it, but you held strong. 
“Yes, friends, I have more than one, we’ll probably just hangout at someones house, no biggie. I haven’t talked to mama yet because I didn’t know what I was doing this weekend.”
Your moms eyebrow only raised further up her forehead, the line of hair practically melting into her hairline. 
“I was a teenager once, you think I don’t know what a hangout turns into?”
You were about to rebut, answer with some snappy answer that probably would have gotten you in more trouble than you would have wanted, but you were silenced by the swiss woman sitting to your left. 
“She’ll be fine Le, she’s smart, she’ll leave her location on, she won’t do anything you wouldn’t. Right?”
You nodded cautiously, a little bit shocked by the swiss woman’s attempt to help you out. 
“Yes, I’ll leave my location on and I’ll meet up with mama the next morning, I’ll be responsible, I always am.”
You were grasping for anything, any reason to make your mother agree. 
“Fine, but you do anything stupid, and I mean anything, then you’ll be in big trouble missy, and I want you to eat some more of that dinner, Lia puts a lot of work into feeding us.”
You swallowed the argument about your hatred for pasta, in favour of nodding your head meekly and twirling some of the noddles with your fork, forcing them into your mouth even if it made you cringe internally, it was a hard meal to swallow, but you did it for the sake of making your mother happy, something that you seemed to constantly be doing. 
Once you’d eaten half of the pasta you called it quits, walking up towards the kitchen sink and cleaning out your bowl before placing it into the dishwasher and sacking it properly before closing it up. 
You grasped for the vape hidden in your pocket, depserate for something to take the edge off from the conversation you’d had, the flavoured air providing a temporary comfort. 
You dragged your feet back up the stairs to your bedroom, locking the door behind you and turning off the lights in your room. 
Your room was cold, but you didn’t find yourself minding it. 
You checked your lock for a second time, making sure it was definitely clicked shut before sliding underneath your bed frame and reaching around aimlessly for the container that was wedged into a corner of your mattress. 
It didn’t take long for you to find it, your hand connecting with the rough plastic and pulled at it almost immediately. 
You opened the container, forcing the lid open and picking out the bag that you were searching for. 
Walking across the room in search of a card and flat surface was a mission that didn’t take long, both necessary factors found at your desk. 
You opened up the bag, the answer to all of your feeling and struggles. 
You shook a bit of the powder out of the bag, it was a routine that you’d adapted. 
You’d always had routines, at eight it had been your nighttime routine. Bath, pyjamas, toilet, bed time story, cuddles, trying to get to sleep in your own bed, inevitably sneaking into your moms bed. At 12 it had been your pre match routine, wearing your moms first arsenal jersey to bed the night beforehand, a banana and bottle of water before the game, socks, shinpads, boots and a bottle of lucozade. At 14 it was your pre test routine, cue cards with one of your parents the night beforehand, a 12 hour sleep,  a good luck hug from one of your moms and using your lucky pen. At 17 it was the little kit you kept underneath your bed, open it, find the baggy, spill enough of it onto your desk, push it into a line, take a deep breath through your nose. 
It was a routine that kept you going, one that you clung to like the oxygen you breathed in. 
When your mom tore her acl, your life changed permanently, no longer was any focus on you, it shouldn’t have really been a surprise that you’d fallen into a rougher crowd, that you’d turned to something else to help soothe the pain that had been coursing through your blood stream as everything changed around you. 
It had started with pocketing a couple of your moms post surgery meds, oxy’s, they felt good, they felt so much better than anything else you’d tried to help fix you. But they were in limited amounts and it was hard to steal pills when Lia was monitoring everything that your mom did and took. You’d made friends with the girls in the form above you, and then their friends who were older, and eventually you’d found yourself out at parties on nights when you told your mom that you were spending the night with your mama in Birmingham, it had been eays enough, she was too focused on her knee to pay much mind to what you were doing and who you were doing it with. 
There was enough money lying around the house, it wasn’t hard to find and subsequently it wasn’t hard to find somebody who was willing to give you more than you could find at the parties you where going to. 
It had felt good, like for the first time in a while you had people who you could relate to, who were dealing with the same problems as you, you felt like you’d found a somewhere that felt more like a home than anywhere you’d been before. 
The vapes had been a way to disguise it, to make your mom feel like she could control the bad things that you were getting up to, if she monitored your vape usage then why would you search for anything else? 
Self-soothing. 
You finished your routine by pushing the baggy back into its box and securing the box back into the spot it had come from, making sure that it was hidden from sight, before climbing into your bed and waiting for the proper high to hit you. 
Weed and nicotine were good, it had been where you started out, but nothing hit better than a real high, a real proper feeling that made you feel inundated with complete numbness in the best way possible. It made everything quiet, every doubt and pain in your soul quietened down and it made you feel at peace. 
You supposed it was what made drugs so addictive, specifically meth. They made a person in pain feel normal, it made an angry person feel calm, it made a sad person happier than ever, it made a person searching for everything yearn for nothing. It fixed every problem known to man and every problem man knew. 
When the high hit you felt it across your whole body, your thoughts, pain and the loudness inside of you faded, everything faded, all you felt like was a body, devoid of everything besides the body you were inside of. To you, it was the best feeling in the world, it was a feeling you’d been searching for since you were a kid, when you’d felt so alone and unloved that you would have sold all of your internal organs if it meant that you could have felt the same amount of nothingness that you were in this very moment. 
You would lie awake for hours riding it out, staring up at the ceiling of your room, studying the different ridges and bumps across the white plaster. Once upon a time it had been blue, with white clouds all over it, little stars and rainbows across it, when Jordan had moved out you’d forced your mom to cover it up, it was just another reminder of the love that you’d once found in your house miraculously fading away. 
It normally took a few hours for the initial high to fade, for the endorphins and adrenaline pinging around in your bloodstream to calm down for you to be able to drift off to sleep, you didn’t really mind, you were used to it. Once upon a time it was the same feeling you’d gotten when your moms would smile at you, or when you would step off a football pitch after 90 minutes, or when you’d get a good score from one of your exams. Once upon a time it had all been organic, it had been natural, now it was all forced, a chemical reaction that your brain craved. 
Somewhere around 4am you drifted off, it was convenient because it meant you’d be dead asleep when your mom and Lia left for the training ground, saving you from the interaction with the two of them.
You awoke around 12 o’clock, you dragged yourself downstairs and into the kitchen, enjoying the emptiness that surrounded you. At your mama's house there was Blu, and for some reason it always felt more crammed. At your mom’s house everything was open, quiet, tucked away. It was the way you liked it, plus she was gone more often with media commitments and Arsenal playing in the Champions League, so it meant you were home alone most of the time. 
You chugged your coffee like it was your first drink in days, groaning when your mom’s contact started buzzing up in front of you. 
“Mom?”
You tried your best to sound awake, you don’t think your efforts were very successful. 
“Hey bubba, how’d you sleep?”
You didn’t really think your mom actually cared about how you’d slept, more like it was a conversation buffer. 
“Fine.”
You could hear the sound of your mom’s teammates in the background, a couple of months ago you probably would have been there with her, nowadays there was nothing you wanted less. 
“Good. Look, I talked to Jord this morning, she’s going to come and hang out with you tomorrow until we get back, she should be around in the morning.”
The same anxiety that always seeped through your mom’s voice when she talked about her ex was easy to detect, like she was nervous to utter her name or mention her. 
“Cool.”
You wondered why she hadn’t just left it up to you to organise something with your mama, but you supposed you hadn’t been great at that recently. Jordan’s number was something you had a aversion to. 
“Which means I want you home before 1am, and I want you to be sensible tonight, your mama is very excited to see you tomorrow and I don’t want you being a dickhead or being dead to the world, You’ll be polite and spend time with her, understood?”
She made it sound like an assignment, like you had to be on your very best behaviour, like you had to put on a show for Jordan. 
“Whatever.”
You heard a huff of annoyance from the other side of the phone, it was a sound you’d gotten used to, Leah used it frequently. 
“Don’t whatever me, bubba please, Jords is really looking forward to it, she’s been feeling a bit left out by you recently so please for me, just try your hardest to be good for her. Be safe tonight, I know you and your friends like to have some fun but just stay safe, if you need anything don’t hesitate to send me a text or a call, I love you bubba.”
It felt empty, like your heart, like everything around you, like something she had to say. 
“I love you too mom.”
The call fizzled out and you let a deep breath that you’d been holding in go, you did love your mom, it just didn’t feel like she loved you anymore. 
You went about your day in a haze, your friends were due to come to yours before the party around 5 o’clock, so you had some time to yourself before then, time you were undoubtedly planning to do not a lot with. You tried watching tv, tried organising and cleaning your room, none of it took off the edge, none of it made the world silent like you needed. 
It had all started with parties, a way for you to get out of your comfort zone, a way to make parties a little bit more enjoyable. Now you craved them to make your life more enjoyable, to make it all a little bit more bearable. 
It was all one big routine. 
For a while you throught it was getting better, everything was solving itself. You’d lie awake in your bed at 3am, riding out the last bits of your high and you’d realise that it wasn’t, that there was no solution to solve what had gone wrong with you and made you so fucking unlovebale. 
You knew your existence wasn’t eays, hell Jordan and Leah had adopted you when you were at rock bottom, and they’d still found a way to love you, to make you loveable, but you figured somewhere along the way they’d run out of things about you that were loveable. 
You weren’t normally someone who got high during the day, but you were home alone and figured why not, you’d been taking them at night for months now, what would a day time fix change? Everything felt better when you were riding on a high. 
You spent the rest of your afternoon sat on your window sill, counting the cars as they drove past. When your friends came around at 5 o’clock you were ecstatic, hurrying down the stairs as fast as your woozy body would allow you. 
You had friends that your moms met and friends your moms didn’t, these were the ones you were yet to introduce to Leah. 
You didn’t think that she would approve of the friends that you hung out with when she wasn’t around, especially considering they were quite a bit older than you. 
There were benefits to it, they bought you alcohol they could drive you around, they were smarter then the kids your age. 
Maya, Olivia and Scarlett were nice enough, a little bit stupid but it didn’t bother you too much, you were all like minded, you liked to have fun and party, with the assistance of some recreational substances. 
None of them batted an eye at your clear intoxication, pushing a bottle of something or another into your hands before walking with you up to your room to start getting ready. 
The drink burned as it made it’s way down your throat, it was therapeutic, a reminder that while you felt disconnected from your body because of the drugs, you were still present. 
You let one of the girls do your makeup, packing your face until you looked well over the age of 17, then allowing one of them to sort through your monstrosity of a closet until they found a cute corset top and skirt. Leah Williamson was a lot of things, a fashionista being one of them and that had always carried through to your wardrobe. You were more than equipped with clothing for every occasion known to man. 
By the time you’d downed your first drink of the night the euphoria was starting to hit and you were starting to feel good. 
By the time your second drink had been downed you were being thrown into a car and were on your way to the party, sharing a joint with Liv who was sat in the back seat with you, the two of you occasionally shotgunning the smoke or blowing a puff at eachother. 
It was good, it was relaxing, it was what made you feel at peace.
Pulling up to the party was a whole different kind of feeling. 
You didn’t know who’s party you were at, who’s house, where it was, it didn’t matter to you, not really, all you cared about was having a good time by your standards. 
You flicked your phone onto silent, desperate to avoid any contact from anyone, instead focused on the spectacle around you as you stepped into the threshold. 
Maya introduced you to someone she went to school with, a man that looked like he was nearly as far gone as you felt. You smiled at him, giving him a hug and nod, trying to rush the introduction so you could get a drink in your hand and take a seat. 
“You’re quite cute aren’t ya, how old are you sweetheart?”
You looked across at your friend, curious as to whether you should lie or not, she nodded her head and you took it as approval. 
“17.”
His smile only grew, his head cocking to the side. 
“A youngin? I’m sure we’ll have some fun tonight, the young ones always know how to go harder, whaddya like, sweetheart?”
You tried your best not to appear uncomfortable, even if his attention was putting you off a little bit. 
“She’ll take whatever, although she has been having some fun with ice recently, she likes her vape and some molly sprinkled in with it.”
Matt slapped you on the back, his smile only growing. 
“Definitely a fun time then, I’ll catch up with you later sweetheart, I reckon I have something you might like, head on in guys, I’ll catch you later.”
It wasn’t a big house, it wasn’t small either though, it was full enough that it probably seemed smaller than it truly was. 
There were people everywhere, which surprised you considering it was only early, not that you minded, it was more convenient anyways. 
You were dragged to a couch with your friends, they were less far gone than you and almost immediately were sniffing up lines of whatever was on the coffee table in front of you. 
There was so much happening around you that you struggled to understand it all fully, there were puffs of smoke coming from every direction, needles being handed around, different pills being popped, lines being sniffed. It was the kind of environment you liked to think you’d come to flourish in, it made you feel more relaxed then anywhere else on the planet. 
You relaxed into the couch, enjoying the spectacle around you and subconsciously taking hits of your vape as you watched the splendour occur around you. 
There wasn’t a single legal thing about it, but you didn’t care, there was a cold drink in your hand and the scent of pot and vapour surrounding you, it was the best place to be on the planet. 
The night slowly started to fade into a blip as you made your way through more drinks, your body surrendering to the feeling of the alcohol coursing through you and the high slowly starting to fade. You were cautious of the fact that you needed to be home at a certain time, you didn’t want to push your mom’s wishes, you were also aware that you could manage another shoot up before getting yourself home. 
“Oi, where can I find some meth.”
Maya had headed somewhere with some boy she knew from highschool and Olivia had left in search of a spot to smoke, leaving you and Scarlett. 
“Go find Matt, he’ll hook you up.”
With legs like jelly and a swaying head you stood up from the couch, your vape clutched in one hand and empty bottle in the other. It didn’t take a lot of searching to find the man you’d been introduced to earlier, he was sat on a couch, a girl on either side of him, who both looked about as far gone as they could get without being passed out. 
“Pretty girl, what can I do for you.”
You didn’t like the way the term of endearment slid off of his tongue so easily, in almost a condescending way. 
“Do you have meth?”
You didn’t care if you were being too straight forward, you were itching for something to get you back 0onto the high that you’d been riding out for the past couple of hours. 
“I do, but it’ll cost ya.”
You rolled your eyes, money was hardly a problem for you. 
“I’ve got money.”
His head cocked the same way it had earlier. 
“I don’t want your money sweetheart, c’mon, I’ll get you some meth.”
The same slippery term of endearment that made your throat hurt. He shook the two girls off of him, standing up with a lot more composure than you and beginning to walk out of the lounge room you were in and towards the staircase. You followed him up, holding onto the banister with everything you had and trying to keep up with him as the both of you arrived at the top and he began walking down a corridor, until he made it to the end and opened up a door. 
You assumed it was his bedroom by the looks of it, which made you uncomfortable slightly but you accepted the fact you were craving a fix and he was potentially the only person who could supply it in this moment. 
He rummaged through a bedside draw, until he pulled out a syringe and a bottle of what you assumed to be dissolved crystal meth. You’d always kept your distance from needles, it gave you a better high but it was harder to hide and harder to deal with, the powdered form was the least complicated. 
You could feel your heartbeat pick up as he beckoned you over, patting for you to sit down on the edge of the bed. You walked over, taking a seat on the bed and watching with curiosity as he prepared the needle, and took your arm in his, securing a rubber tourniquet around your bicep and feeling your skin for a vein. Once he found it he picked the needle up, filling it with a couple of mls of the liquid before bringing it up to your arm, gently inserting it into the vein, sucking in a bit of your blod and watching the red swirl with the drug mix before pushing down on the syringe and inserting it into your blood stream. 
It was immediate validation, your head dropping back with ecstasy as the drugs infiltrated your body. 
“Feels good doesn’t it, sweetheart.”
You nodded your head, enjoying the sensation of the lingering sting as the needle was pulled from your arm and the tourniquet was untied. 
His hands were on your chin, tilting your head up so you were looking at him. 
“Now, I think it’s time I get my payment, hmm?”
You took one last breath, enjoying the validation of your high. 
“I told you I have money.”
He shook his head and with the smirk on the corner of his lips you couldn’t help but feel slightly worried. 
“No, I prefer my payment other ways.”
Even with the alcohol and drugs running through your veins, you couldn’t help but feel sick to your stomach immediately. 
You were suddenly frighteningly aware of your position, and undeniably feeling a little bit scared. 
“What way?”
You didn’t like how your voice wavered, your age becoming more obvious as you struggled to stomach the different thoughts going through your head. 
“I’ll show you.”
His hands moved to your hair, dragging you off the corner of the mattress and onto your knees below him. 
You tried to dissasociate it, tried to dissasociate as his hands fell to his belt buckle and fly, tried to disassociate so you didn’t have to think about the million no’s that were banging against your skull and leaving your lips as his fly came undone and he let his pants drop to his feet. 
You’d never really expressed your sexuality, you hadn’;t felt the need t, both of your moms were gay, so were most of their friends, you knew no matter who you were dating they’d be happy for you, you knew that whatever this was though you didn’t want it. 
With your weary head and drugged up body there wasn’t much fight you could put up as he opened your jaw for you and forced his way inside of you 
You tried your hardest to dissasociate like you’d taught yourself, thinking about the high, thinking about the drugs, thinking about your moms, thinking about everything in your life that had once loved you and you’d once loved the same. Normally it worked, normally you trustd yourself to get you to that safe space that made you feel like no matter what was happening you could deal with it, you just couldn’t get it to work though, there were tears streaming down your face as his hands stayed planted in the roots of your hair, the hair a couple of hours ago that your friends had been curling and working on whilst you’d all be laughing. 
He didn’t last long, that was something you were grateful for. 
As soon as his hands left your hair you were bolting up from the floor, walking as past as your weary legs would let you before anything else happened that you couldn’t stop. 
You catapulted your way down the same stairs you’d marched up happily, not paying any attention to the people in the background as you pushed your way out of the front door, breathing in the freezing london air and clinging to the freshness of it and how it cooled the pain in your throat. 
You didn’t hesitate calling the uber, the tears on your face spraying down onto your phone screen as you tried your hardest to focus on the task at hand which was getting home and getting as far away from this as possible. 
You didn’t care that your mom could track your uber account, you didn’t care that there were thirty unread texts from both of your moms and a couple of phone calls, all you cared about was getting home to your bed and doing whatever it took to forget about what just happened. 
The uber was quick enough, you practically threw yourself into the back seat, trying to calm yourself down, but failing miserably. 
If your uber driver noticed then he didn’t comment on the fact that you were practically hyperventilating in his backseat. 
The car ride home was quicker then you thought it would be, you were so grateful it was an away game night, that you didn’t have to deal with anyone, but you were also secretly crumbling about the fact that you were all alone, that you had been all alone in that room with him, that you had no one to stop him and couldn’t do anything about it. 
You were hardly steady on your legs as you unlocked the door with your keys and swayed your way into the living room and then towards the stairs, finding the incline slightly jarring but desperate to get to your room and bed so you could sleep of the horrendous feeling in your gut. High be damned, alcohol be damned, all you wanted was to be asleep, so you partially forget about all of this and hopefully it would fall victim to all of the endorphins in your head and be permanently removed from your brain. 
Your room was cold, your window still open, you didn’t care. 
All you cared was getting out of the too tight clothes you were in and getting into your bed. 
You pulled at the corset, unbothered when you heard the seam ripping as you tugged at it, your skirt was easier. You flung a hoodie and pair of pyjama pants onto your body before climbing straight under your covers, your body shaking. You weren’t sure whether it was because of the high or because of the incessant hatred that had grown in your chest at the memory replaying over and over in your mind. 
You clutched onto your vape, holding it in your hand and sucking up hit after hit as you tried to find solace in the flavoured air, hoping it would send you off to sleep. 
You woke up with a headache like no other, your whole body hurt, and to the sound of repetitive banging at the front door downstairs. 
You groaned out, annoyed at every single part of you for what had happened last night. 
Your legs were still wobbly as you clawed your way out of your bed, your legs protesting with every single step you took, out of your room, down the stairs, to the peephole at your door. 
Jordan, fuck. 
You supposed in your haze it hadn’t been hard to forget about your mother’s appearance for today, you’d been trying desperately to forget so many other things that it must have slipped your mind. 
You didn’t want to open the door, but you also knew you had to, so with every last piece of strength that you had in your body, you pulled the door open.
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Text
Lucky Charm
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Hi guys!
A new one with Kyra Cooney-Cross, I got sweet request for her so here it is :)
Next one will be with Leah Williamson.
Enjoy!
TW : None
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This dating app thing was the worst idea. Beth told you, Lia told you, Kyra told you. Even Leah told you it was bullshit. But, stubborn and a little desperate, you decided to give this guy a chance. Plot twist, you shouldn’t have.
Contrary to what you had imagined at first, this boy seems actually interested only in the idea of returning home with you. And not to play Fifa. The remarks he tried to slip were as subtle as Katie’s two-legged tackle.
When he left to go to the bathroom, you are quick to send a message in the Arsenal's WhatsApp group.
From You Next time I don’t listen to you, please hit me hard in the head.
From Lia 🇨🇭🍫 Is he that bad?
From You Yes.
From Leah ❤️🤍 On a scale of 1 to 10?
From You 10. I NEED to get out of there.
From Alessia 🧸 What can we do to help you? Wait I’m with Kyra, we call you in 5min and answer with the speaker xx
Surprise, you frown but answer a simple ok. Your date has returned from the bathroom and is picking up the talking where he left it. It’s hard for you to care, despite all your good will. You are the type to think that there is something good in everyone, but right now you are frankly struggling.
"You marked on your profile that you are interested in women and men, right?"
"Mhm" you answer simply, carrying your soon empty glass to your lips.
"Cool. You’re not against a threesome then?"
You almost choke in your glass to this question, but you are saved from having to answer by your phone which vibrates on the table. Despite the relief of seeing « Kyra 🦘 » appear on your screen, you try to look surprised.
“Hello?”
You pick up and put the speaker on, as Alessia asked.
“Y/N?” makes Kyra’s trembling voice.
“Yes? What’s up sweety pie?”
“He…He left me.”
You stick your hand on your mouth to simulate the surprise but it's mostly used to mask your fun. Even if Kyra plays the comedy pretty good, you’re sure that she and Alessia are having a great time.
“Oh my God… You want me to pick you up? No you know what, I’m coming!”
Without taking the time to hang up, you quickly gather your things and put on your coat apologizing to your date. Which has a bitter look displayed on the face.
“I’ll call you back?” he says while trying to grab your hand
“Yeah sur”
You don’t even look at him and hurry out of the restaurant, breathing the fresh and cold London's air. The mixed laughter of Alessia and Kyra can be hear from your phone, making you smile.
"Thank you" you say, removing the speaker and putting the phone on your ear.
"You are very welcome" answers Alessia between two laughs.
"Where are you? I'll come to get you" Kyra proposes.
You hesitate two seconds before accepting. Kyra is one of the reasons you’re desperately trying to find someone. Between your breakup a few months ago and your stupid crush on her, you’re having a hard time keeping your head straight. But you finally accept her proposal and you wait for her in a parallel street, not wishing to meet your rejected suitor.
Kyra joins you on foot, which doesn’t surprise you. She likes to walk and given your Icelandic origins, you don’t mind the cold. So it's walking, hands in pockets, that you take the direction of your apartment with small talk and laughs.
A small moment of silence settles after a joke exchanged, during which you look up to the sky to watch the snow fall.
“Why did you accept this date?” Kyra abruptly asks.
You shrug and bite your bottom lip. You don’t want to make stupid excuses. Kyra knows about your break up and about you trying to find someone. Your love life always make your teammates laugh and it's so catastrophic that you laugh with them. But she doesn't know about your crush on her. You know she isn't interested in you.
"You should be with someone who appreciates you for who you are" continues Kyra. "Not someone who just want to bang you one night and leave you the day after."
"What a langage. You spend way to much time with Leah"
Kyra roll her eyes and as you turn to the next street, you both are facing small wood house with cute decoration. Christmas spirit. You love it.
"Hello there" smile the old lady, working in the stand.
"Hello" you answer with a smile, already looking at her stuff.
"These are wristband lucky charms" she explains
"Interesting. Do you have one for someone who only attracts losers?"
You shoot a glare at Kyra who got closer to the stand with a smirk. She looks at you maliciously and suddenly her body is too close to yours for you to continue to look at her in this way. So you just shift your attention to the old woman who laughed.
"Lucky charms like that are called loved ones"
She winks at Kyra and if you could have observed her better, you would have noticed the redness of her cheeks. When she takes another step to see a little better what is on the displays, her body is so close to yours that you need a few seconds to realize that you have let yourself go against her.
But Kyra says nothing, caressing one of the lucky charms with the tip of her finger.
"I like this one" she whispers thoughtfully, before resuming in a more assured voice "I'll take it, please."
In a few seconds the transaction is completed and the Australian finds herself with a small bag and her lucky charm in her hand. You say goodbye the lady and resume your way back to your apartment.
The snow continues to fall and a new silence sets in, always without being unpleasant.
"And on top of that, it was with a guy" Kyra says, your date always seems to be on her mind.
You laugh when you see her disgusted look, rolling your eyes.
"It’s okay, they’re not that bad."
"Oh please stop talking, you will succeed in convincing me to change my sexuality" laughs Kyra with sarcasm.
"It’s not exactly like I have a choice anyway" you sigh softly.
A few seconds go by before Kyra answers you.
"You are wrong"
"What?"
Her voice is so low that you can’t understand what she’s saying. Sighing, Kyra stops and crosses her arms on her chest, standing straight in front of you.
"There are people who care about you, you know. For what you are. You just need to open your eyes."
Your eyebrows are frowned and you have trouble understanding what Kyra is getting at. You’re so lost, you didn’t even realize you got to the bottom of your building.
"Close your eyes and extend your arm"
Nothing makes sense in what’s happening, but you do as Kyra’s request. You find yourself shivering stupidly when you feel her fingers touch your hand when she passes the wristband she just bought around your wrist.
"Don’t" she whispers when she realizes you’re about to open your eyes.
You realize at this moment how close she is to you, you feel her breath against your face and the heat of her body radiate towards yours. You swallow hard, but you don’t move. Your legs have become so limp that you wouldn’t be able to anyway.
You have the impression of dreaming when Kyra puts her lips on yours during the first seconds, so light is the pressure. You quickly understand that it's to let you push her away if you do not want this kiss. But she is wrong to doubt.
You get as close to her as possible and that’s what she was waiting to presses her lips harder against yours. And you’re suddenly happy to feel her arms move around your waist, or you could quickly faint. What you’re going to say is probably related to the many love stories you’ve read in your life, but you feel like your lips were made for hers. The way they marry together is a sensation you’ve never experienced before.
It's Kyra who ends the kiss first. When your eyes reopen, they meet hers, inquisitors. Snowflakes have settled in her hair and the colors of the Christmas lights color her face when she speaks again.
"I do care about you. You have no idea how much I do."
524 notes · View notes
wileys-russo · 4 months
Note
leah being described as strict gave me a thought:
imagine dating her (the team knows) and since she’s captain and takes her role very serious, you get into trouble for not listening and talking to someone else on the team while you’re supposed to be doing drills and she makes you do a few extra drills which you’re obviously not happy about
so after trainings done and you’re at home with her you refuse to hold her hand or let her hug you and say that you’re too sore from the extra drills she made you do which Leah does not appreciate and it ends with her just grabbing you anyway until you give in since you secretly wanted to hug her and were just throwing a little tantrum
thank you if you do write it 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
drill sergeant II l.williamson
"ky there is literally no way thats possible." you scoffed with a shake of your head, sat in your cubby next to hers as the girl was avidly recounting how she built a house of cards last night using 101 cards.
"ask teyah!" kyra nodded as her eyes searched the room for her blonde roommate. "she's already doing her program in the gym." alessia chuckled on your other side, also doubtful of the young australians tall tale.
"i did do it, i'm being serious swear!" kyra whined with an annoyed huff as both you and alessia shared a look. "well its like the little boy who cried wolf. maybe if you lied less we'd be more inclined to believe you!" you grinned as clapping sounded.
"get movin girls! pitch in two minutes or its a fine and laps." your girlfriend shouted, clapping her hands as there was a thunder of cleats clicking against the floor as you and alessia scrambled to tug your own boots on, kyra darting off.
"if we get laps because of her big mouth-" the blonde striker huffed, standing to her feet having gotten her laceless boots on in milliseconds as you hurried to tie your own laces.
"relax lessi! i've got the girlfriend card to play and you get protection as the best friend of the girlfriend." you grinned, jumping up and slinging an arm over her shouder.
"future maid of honour of the girlfriend!" alessia reminded with a wag of her finger as you pushed her hand away with a grin and both beelined it out of the change rooms.
unfortunately for you two you were the last to the pitch, and with kimmy out with a flare up in an old hamstring injury it left leah to run the pack beneath jonas who would be a little late this morning due to a meeting.
"right you two. thats a ten pound fine and a lap then stretch, if you're not back in five its another!" leah barely glanced at the two of you as alessia groaned loudly and you stared at your girlfriend in disbelief.
"clocks started girls, move it!" she called seriously over her shoulder as alessia sighed in defeat and started to run, you eventually following after her as leah continued to ignore your looks sent her way as she focused on warm ups.
"so about that girlfriend card?" alessia shot you an unimpressed look as you rolled your eyes. "declined!" you huffed, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence as you saved your breath and jogged the pitch.
it appeared you'd returned just in time as leah sent you both a nod and gestured for the pair of you to stretch, turning her back to converse with kelly who'd just arrived to help out. kyra sent the two of you a guilty smile as alessia's blue eyes shot daggers her way and you couldn't help but smile.
"leave her be she didn't mean any harm less." you chuckled, knocking your shoulder into alessia but a little harder than intended, and given your best friend was horizontally challenged she was sent tumbling to the ground accidentally taking frida down with her who in turn grabbed onto lia who joined the small pile up.
"oi! whats going on?" leah was there within seconds with a scowl as laughter errupted from the team and the three girls helped one another up, alessia's face burning bright red as she shoved you.
"you two, lap again! grow up." leah scolded, returning back to kellys side as your jaw dropped. "for fuck sakes." you grumbled under your breath, alessia sprinting off this time as you jogged, making sure to send your girlfriend a look which she seemingly stared right through as if you weren't there.
that made you frown, then lost in your own thoughts you hadn't realised alessia had long finished, choosing to sprint it to get it over with faster as by the time you returned everyone had already paired off for drills.
which of course, left you with leah.
"next time you dawdle its sit ups, come on." the blonde nodded, tapping a ball your way as you mocked her under your breath but followed, the two of you completing the drill in silence.
normally the taller girl would be talking your ear off as she had been ever since she was able to touch grass again, elated to finally be back with the team.
you weren't sure where the disconnect had grown from, as she was her usual self all morning, in the car ride over here and at team breakfast. yet here she was barely able to look at you without shaking her head in annoyance and it begun to grate at you.
things seemed to worsen throughout the session as time after time leah would use you as an example for simple comments or mistimed mistakes which would normally be overlooked or a warning.
it wasn't just you who would be punished, a lot of the girls settled into their own extra drills with a sigh as they were called out for slacking off or chatting, but it felt personal as it seemed leahs eyes were constantly watching and waiting for you to slip up.
you tried your very best to take them on the chin and tell yourself she was just doing her job as stand in captain, you knew she'd been nervous at taking back the mantle up with having had so much time off due to her injury, but you'd had weeks of training with her now without any issues.
"oi! did i say run your legs or run your mouths? 30 push ups, the pair of you!" leah yelled as kyra jabbed her fingers into your sides making you laugh loudly and tell her off, your face falling as kyra sighed and dropped to her stomach.
"leah she just poked me, thats hardly a contact violation or a reason to punish either of us. lay off would you!" you rolled your eyes, having had enough of the little comments and gestured for kyra to stand up, the australian looking nervously between you and leah.
"no kyra keep going. you too, drop!" leah warned crossing her arms over her chest and staring you down as the two of you locked eyes unwavering. but with a few murmured warnings to let it go from your teammates and you dropped, grumbling angrily under your breath as you went.
by the time you'd finished it was time for a round robin of games, something leah thankfully would only be a participant in as jonas and the coaching staff took the reigns.
focusing in on the game you tried to use it to let out the last of the frustration toward your girlfriend which was bubbling just below the surface, pushing hard as you could to score which paid off.
"get in, super boot strikes again!" you couldn't help but grin as beth jumped onto your back as your team won their final game, jogging around and twirling her for a moment before placing her back down on her feet.
training called for the day you ignored the smile sent your way by leah as she approached you, turning on your heel and hurrying to wedge yourself inbetween lotte and alessia, slinging your arms over their shoulders.
"lift me!" you demanded hanging off of them and causing all three of you to slam down into the ground, a tangle of sweaty limbs and laughter as you all peeled yourself off one another. "you do that every time and every time you never learn it doesn't work!" lotte groaned rubbing her neck as the three of you wandered into the change rooms.
"or the two of you need to learn how to lift me!" you grinned latching on and swinging between them as again all three of you tumbled to the ground.
"you are the worst." alessia groaned causing you to reach out and smack her, lotte standing with an amused roll of her eyes as the pair of you rolled around for a minute, the other girls stepping over you as if you both weren't there.
"practicing your wrestling are we babe? wrong sport i think." you looked up to meet leahs eyes and let go of alessia, standing to your feet and brushing the dust off your training uniform, choosing not to make a comment and striding over to your cubby.
your girlfriend gave you a strange look but just put it down to you being tired, waiting patiently for you to shower and change. "ready?" the blonde asked with a smile, sat at your locker and twirling her keys around her finger.
you blanked her once again, reaching past her to grab your bag, accidentally smacking her in the head with it as you turned and strode out of the change rooms. rubbing her head with a frown leah looked at alessia for help who held her hands up mumbling she wasn't getting involved before leah hurried after you.
you must have sprinted your way out of colney because she didn't catch you until she arrived at her car where you stood waiting, arms crossed and sunglasses covering your eyes. normally you'd wait for her to open the door for you, rewarding her with a kiss and a joke about chivarly.
but the moment leah unlocked her car you were sat right inside, tossing your bag on the backseat and shrinking away from her, pushing her hand away as it rested on your thigh as normal.
"alright whats wrong? why are you being like this?" leah scowled in confusion and annoyance at your dismissive behavior. much to her continued frustration you ignored her, busying yourself with your phone as leah sighed and shook her head, driving off none the less.
every attempt at conversation ignored leah gave up, drowned out by your continued turning up of the radio as you stared out the window.
finally arriving back to your shared home you were just as fast to exit the car as enter, grabbing your bag and wrestling your keys out, letting yourself in as leah followed behind.
"right, thats it!" the blonde huffed as you slung the door shut in her face, yanking it open and storming in after you. "whats up your ass then?" leah snatched the remote from you and held it out of reach, raising an eyebrow clearly expecting a response.
when she didn't get one, the anger faded.
"babe!" leah whined, throwing her head back with a groan. "i miss you, gimme a cuddle cmon." leah flopped herself basically on top of you as you pushed her off and tucked your limbs into your body.
"baby!' leah groaned again, trying to yank your arms open to settle into them. "sorry i'm a bit tired from the laps and the sit ups and the sprints and push ups the stand in gaffa had me doing for no reason!" you finally snapped, shooting her a glare and scooting your body away from hers.
realizing now why you were behaving this way leahs lips curled into a smile which only furthered your infatuation with her. "stop giving me that stupid fucking smirk before i smack it off your face!" you warned, leahs grin growing as she raised her eyebrows as if to challenge you to even try.
"oh babe, you cannot seriously be mad at me over that?" leah chuckled, scooting her body closer as you tried to expand the distance but having reached the end of the sofa you were stuck.
"over that? leah you singled me out, picked on me and didn't get off my ass the entire session, and for the most stupid shit!" you seethed, your girlfriend grabbing your legs and tugging them into her lap.
"you were mucking about love and you had plenty of warnings." leah smiled, fingers tracing lines up and down your calves as you huffed and stared away from her. "didn't we long ago make an agreement about not letting our relationship affect us on the pitch?" the blonde continued.
"whats that got to do with anything?" "well, it would mean that i don't give you any special treatment." "the way you singled me out today sure felt like special treatment!"
"baby-" you didn't give her the chance to finish, kicking her hands away and swinging yourself to your feet, thumping off to the kitchen. "oi, stop running away before you let me finish." leah followed after you, watching as you rummaged through the fridge still ignoring her.
"if i give you special treatment and let you get away with-" once again you didn't let her finish, ducking under her arm and returning to the living room, flicking on the tv and shoving the remote into your pocket.
it was only a few seconds before the grinning blonde blocked your view, staring down at you as you met her eyeline with a glare and averted your eyes.
"if i treat you any differently than the other girls just because we're together, i'd be a bad captain. its the same at england camps and i've never once heard you complain!" leah continued as you stayed silent once more.
you were surprised as she seemingly gave in and sat down beside you, though of course that was a generous assumption as instead your girlfriend switched tactics to gain your attention.
"fuck off." you mumbled after her foot dug into your hip for the fifth time, shoving her legs aggressively away from you making the defender smirk. "no, give me attention." leahs legs swung repeatedly into your lap as you continued to push them off.
as time passed by without leah having any success her amused smile melted into a frown of frustration. "fine, you leave me no choice!" leah suddenly stood and before you could even blink her hands were wedging under your arms and tossing you over her shoulder.
"leah put me down!" you smacked her back with your hands as she carried you upstairs with ease. "stop ignoring me, you're bein childish." leah threw you down onto the bed, crawling on top of you before you could move.
"i'm being childish!" you scoffed in disbelief with a roll of your eyes. "glad you agree babe." leah grinned as you shot her a glare. "now since we're home and captain williamson is still at colney, how about your girlfriend gives your poor tired legs a massage?" leah smiled, propping her head up on her hand.
"its a massive turn off to hear you talk about yourself in the third person." "leah disagrees."
you tried to hold back a smile at that but you cracked, the corners of your mouth curling upward. "leah see's that little smile, can't hide from her." your girlfriend beamed, kissing all over your face as you gave in with a sigh, unable to really be mad at her anymore when she was her normal charmingly sweet self.
"girlfriend leah is still very happy to give you a massage baby girl." "stop!" you gave a half groan half laugh at her repeated use of her own name.
"i'll take the massage though, least you can do after picking on me all day." you frowned, pouting your lips upward as your girlfriend who knew you all too well ducked down to press her own against them for a moment.
"my poor baby, picked on by her big bad mean captain." the blonde cooed mockingly once she'd pulled away, squeezing your cheeks between her hand.
"yeah she's awful, so stern and rigid and uptight. sort of miss when she was sidelined and her coaching wasn't so hands on!" you sighed, squealing as leahs slender fingers dug into your ribs for the comment.
"oh i'll show you just how hands on i can really be my girl."
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leahwllmsn · 6 months
Text
16,904 | leah williamson x reader
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so this was something I wrote a few years ago and I decided to change it into a leah fic cause I've been so obsessed :-)
hope you like it!
--
Melbourne
October, 2023
You finally tell your friends that you’ve been talking to someone you met online on a Friday night. The response you got is that they all think you're crazy, and you can’t blame them—saying that you have a tiny crush on this blonde who’s almost twice your height and likes football and country music without actually knowing if this said blonde exists is kind of crazy.
But you really do like talking to Leah and you could only hope that Leah is Leah and not some fifty-year-old man. 
“You don’t even know what she looks like,” one of your friends snorts. 
“It’s not always about the looks,” you argue.
“That’s true,” another one of your friends chimed in. “But you gotta admit, the looks matter a lot.”
You were about to correct her and say no, they do not, because yeah, sure, Leah is so freaking gorgeous based on the pictures on her profile, but what matters the most is that she’s so kind, and funny, and just overall amazing.
Instead you kept your mouth shut. A part of you don’t want to share Leah with anyone just yet. 
(And another part of you still needs the confirmation that that is actually Leah because god damn it Leah is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and you wish that it’s really her.)
6 Oct, 9:02 pm
y/n: I told my friends about you. they think it’s weird that I’m starting something with you when we’ve never met  
y/n: it’s not weird, is it? 
leahw6: starting something huh? ;) 
y/n: shut up 
y/n: we met on tinder. what were you expecting to find? a math tutor? 
leahw6: ...  
leahw6: you’re really funny, love
leahw6: and no, it’s not weird 
y/n: good 
y/n: and for the record, even if they think it’s weird I couldn’t care less 
6 Oct, 9:25 pm
leahw6: just to be clear 
leahw6: ‘starting something’ that means you want to date me right 
y/n: how else could I mean that 
leahw6: idk maybe you were the one looking for a math tutor 
— 
London
October, 2023
“Where did you meet her again?”
“Tinder.”
“Tinder,” Lia repeats.
“Yes,” Leah nods. “When we were in Australia for the World Cup… I got bored one night and decided to go on Tinder.”
“And you found her there,” Lia muses, sipping on her cup of coffee. “Wait, so she lives in Australia?”
“Melbourne, yes.”
“And does she know you’re all the way here in London?”
Leah hesitates before answering. “No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Oh boy,” Lia gives her a sympathetic look. “Does she know who you are?”
“Me… as in Leah?” Leah gives her teammate a confused look. “Yeah?”
“You as in you’re Leah Williamson.”
“Oh,” realization sunk in Leah’s face. “Then no. I mentioned I like football and she said she hates it. So, I doubt she knows who I am.”
“Oh boy.”
“I know,” Leah drops her head on the table. “I’ll tell her soon but what if it’s a deal breaker?” 
“Which part? The part where you’re a famous footballer or you live thousands of kilometers away?”
Leah grimaces “Distance problem. She already said she hates football and wouldn’t dare step foot in a football game, but it’s fine! That’s not a problem because I can and will convince her to watch one of my games.”
Lia laughs. “Sure, buddy.”
“I really like her,” Leah continues. “She’s funny and witty and passive aggressive sometimes but it’s so endearing. She has great taste in music, great taste in movies and books, and just great taste overall—”
Leah’s words get cut off with Lia’s hand on her mouth. “You’ve known her for a few weeks and this is already how you act?” Lia chuckles, taking her hand away. “You got it bad, Williamson.”
Leah groans. “I know.”
“Just tell her now. If she likes you the same way, I have a feeling that she wouldn’t mind either.”
24 Oct, 4:13 pm
leahw6: can we talk ?
y/n: sounds serious 
leahw6: kind of 
y/n: are you getting tired of me already :( 
leahw6: ofc not 
y/n: oh okay :D 
leahw6: idk how to say this 
y/n: do you want me to call you? 
leahw6: oh god no 
leahw6: omg wait 
leahw6: I didn’t mean that in a bad way I swear  
leahw6: it’s just that if you call me I’ll be hearing your voice for the first time and I’ll be even more nervous  
leahw6: and I don’t think I’ll be able to put out a coherent sentence bc I’ve been imagining so much what your voice would sound like with that face and all my guesses are that you have an extremely hot voice, raspy maybe?  
leahw6: but actually no I don’t think you have a raspy voice 
leahw6: a deep one maybe and holy shit a deep voice with an australian accent? I’ll faint on the spot I’m afraid  
leahw6: no you can’t call me 
y/n: okay...? 
leahw6: I’m really sorry please ignore all that 
y/n: I won’t ignore it, it’s adorable  
leahw6: you think I’m weird don’t you 
y/n: absolutely 
leahw6: great 
y/n: it just makes me like you even more
leahw6: I live in london 
y/n: as in the one in england … ? 
leahw6: is there another london I don’t know about 
[incoming call from y/n]
leahw6: why are you calling me ?! 
leahw6: I told you I’m too nervous rn 
y/n: I don’t get it. it says that you were 2km away? 
leahw6: yeah… I was on vacation… kind of...
y/n: kind of?
y/n: so you don’t actually live here? 
leahw6: y/n if I was only 2 km away from you I would make up excuses just so I can see you everyday 
y/n: how many km is it instead 
leahw6: between us?
leahw6: google says it’s 16,904 km
y/n: ??! holy shit 
leahw6: I know 
leahw6: look, I get it if you want to stop this. not everyone is cut out for long distance
y/n: we’re like
y/n: on opposite sides of the world
leahw6: I know
y/n: do you want to stop this? 
leahw6: I don’t 
y/n: then we won’t 
leahw6: are you sure 
y/n: let me call you 
leahw6: NO 
y/n: leah
leahw6: give me a day to prepare 
y/n: you’re so dumb
y/n: but fine 
y/n: do I at least get a facetime
leahw6: FACETIME? 
leahw6: no. you get a phone call. voice only
y/n: r u catfishing 
y/n: I knew it you’re too beautiful to be real 
leahw6: ha ha 
y/n: call me tomorrow okay lee? 
leahw6: okay
leahw6: and y/n
leahw6:  thank you
y/n: what for
leahw6: for giving us a chance
y/n: leah I’d be stupid not to 
Melbourne
November, 2023
You're in the middle of a meeting with boring, old men in suits when your phone rings—very loudly at that. You curse yourself for forgetting to put your phone on silent, quickly pressing the red circle on the screen, but not before smiling at the caller ID.
When the meeting finishes an hour later, you immediately pick up your phone and dial Leah’s number.
“Hey you.” 
You smile at the voice on the other end. “Sorry I couldn’t pick up. I was in a meeting.”
“Oh sorry, bad timing. Thought you were finished for the day”
“Bad timing indeed,” you chuckle. “It rang really loudly.”
“Y/n,” you could hear Leah’s soft giggles. “The silent feature exists for a reason.” 
“Yeah, yeah,” you take a seat in your office chair and sigh contently. “I’m glad it rang though.”
“How so?” 
“I saw your name and my mood instantly picked up.”
Leah snorts. “You’re such a sweet talker, mate.” 
You throw her head back in laughter. “But it’s true!”
Leah doesn’t say anything after that, all you could hear is the sound of chatter and honking of cars. “Where are you?”
“I just had breakfast, I’m walking to the… office.”
“You called me when you were having breakfast? Am I that much more interesting than whoever you were with?” you ask, your tone teasing.
“Of course you are,” is Leah’s reply and you could feel your stomach flipping upside down.
“Now who’s the sweet talker?”
“Still you.”
“Says the person who couldn’t stop telling me I’m pretty when we facetimed for the first time.”
Leah laughs and you really, really love the sound. “But you are pretty.”
“But I don’t think I need to hear it every five minutes.”
“Just accept the compliments, love.”
“Okay,” you relent, a grin spreading across your face. “Who did you have breakfast with?”
“Just my team– colleagues. My colleagues, Beth, Viv and Lia.”
You go silent for a few seconds, the last name ringing a bell in your head. “Lia as in your ex?”
“The one and only.”
“Oh.”
Leah must’ve sensed the jealousy in your voice (but honestly, you aren't jealous, you’re really not), because the next thing you know Leah is laughing and telling you that it didn’t work out between her and Lia because they were better off as friends.
“You see her everyday though,” you say, your voice less confident than before.
“And what about it?”
“You don’t see me everyday,” you pout, staring at a polaroid picture of Leah smiling at the camera that is stuck to the wall of your cubicle. Leah sent you a handwritten letter along with that picture a few days ago. Your roommate was the one who received it and it went something like this:
“Oh my god, there’s no way this is your Leah.”
“What?” 
“This! Is this really her?” 
“Is that Lee’s mail for me? Did you open it?!” 
“I got curious!” 
“Give me that!” 
“You never mentioned that she looks like this!” 
“I just haven’t shown you what she looks like ‘cause everyone kept on teasing me!” 
“Because she could be a fake for all we know! But holy shit, she’s soo stunning. Does she have a twin sister?”
“No.”
“A twin brother?” 
“No.” 
“Can I have her instead then?” 
“What the—no?!” 
“Fine, be stingy like that.” 
“...I’m really fine with us like this.”
You blink away images of your roommate in your head and focus your attention back to Leah’s voice. “What did you say?”
“I said I’m okay with not being able to see you everyday,” Leah repeats. “Talking to you over the phone is enough.”
You smile. “It’s enough for me too. It’d be great to have you next to me but this is good too.”
People would think otherwise but for you, having Leah a phone call away really is enough; you'd take hearing Leah's laughter through the phone than not hearing it at all.
10 Nov, 1:11 pm
y/n: I got a dog
leahw6: ???!! 
leahw6: Y/N CALL ME OMG 
leahw6: I WANT TO SEE 
y/n: you’re more excited to see him than me :// 
leahw6: YES 
y/n: excuse me 
leahw6: WHAT’S HIS NAME 
y/n: robert 
leahw6: ROBERT? 
y/n: yes, robert 
leahw6: he's now my favourite
leahw6: SEND PICS
y/n: :/ 
y/n:
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leahw6: you know you're my favourite too  
y/n: :D 
leahw6: but I think I like robert more than you OMG HE'S ADORABLE!!!!
y/n: bye 
London
December, 2023
leahw6:  want to hear a funny story
y/n:  what is it
leahw6:  a guy tried to hit on me tonight
y/n:  excuse me???
[incoming call from y/n] 
“That’s not funny,” is the first thing Leah hears once she accepts the call.
“Hello to you too,” Leah stifles a laugh. You sound tense and Leah can just picture the frown on your face.
“Leah.”
“Yes, babe?” Leah learnt that the quickest way to melt away your anger is to use pet names and so for any argument (even if Leah is in the wrong), Leah would always win.
This time it doesn’t seem to work. “How is that funny again?” 
“Darling, I’m just teasing you.”
“Did a guy really hit on you?”
“Yes,” Leah answers honestly. “He bought me a drink.”
“I see.”
Leah doesn’t like how dejected you sound. So she presses the button for facetime and the first thing she sees when you accept is her girlfriend pouting at the screen.
“What are you doing?” Leah giggles.
“Is all of this funny to you?” you pout even more, your phone screen illuminating your face in the dark room.
“Did I wake you up?” Leah asks instead. She knows you like to sleep in on weekends.
“Yes, but that’s fine. You know I want to talk to you any chance I get,” you answer, shifting so that you’re now lying on your side.
“You’re the best,” Leah says as she climbs in bed, tucking herself under the covers.
“Obviously,” you scoff. “Unlike that stupid guy who doesn’t know you’re off-limits.”
Leah grins at the annoyed look you’re giving her. “Baby?”
“Hm?”
“It’s so cute when you’re jealous.”
You roll your eyes. “Of course I’m jealous. He gets to be within your presence while I’m stuck here, freaking sixteen thousand kilometres away from you. It’s unfair.”
Leah sends her a soft smile. “But you’re the one I’m talking to every day, so who’s the real winner here?” The frown is still present on your face and Leah wants nothing more than to kiss it away—so that’s what she did.
“Leah, what the hell are you doing?”
“Kissing you,” Leah answers simply, kissing her screen again.
And when Leah hears laughter from the other end, her heart feels much lighter.
“Lee, have you cleaned your phone? That’s gross.”
“Shut up. I’m trying to be romantic.”
“Cute, but maybe clean your phone first.”
Leah rolls her eyes at you, her smile never leaving her face. “At least I made you laugh.”
“You always make me laugh,” you say, your face so close to her camera that the entirety of Leah’s screen is just a close up of your face. Leah’s heart swells in adoration at the sight.
“Did you have a good night's sleep?” Leah asks.
You hum in answer. “Now it’s your turn to get a good night’s sleep.”
You could see how hard Leah is trying to keep her eyes open.
“This sucks, time difference sucks” Leah pouts. “I just want to talk to you.”
“Baby,” you give her a sad smile. “It is how it is. We’ll talk more when you wake up.”
“Yes, captain,” Leah gives you grin, her eyes fully closed.
“Good night, Leah. Sweet dreams.”
You watch Leah go to sleep for a few minutes, the sound of her soft snores making it seem like she’s right next to you. 
That night Leah dreams that you're right next to her, holding her close and keeping her warm on the cold winter night.
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BERINGER JAMESON THELMAN
The Pessimistic Host
“Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability.”― H.P. Lovecraft
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GENERAL INFORMATION
Name: Beringer Jameson Thelman
Nicknames: Ringer, Rings
Faceclaim: Johnny Goth
Age: 15
Gender: Cis Male
Sexuality: Androsexual Androromantic
Height: 5′4″
Weight: 126lbs
Birthday: April 25th
Sign: Taurus
Occupation: Unemployed
QUICK FACTS
Ringer is the son of Pete and  Reagan. He is the host to Nalkyra and Vegreth’s son, Dalvoreth, due to being born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Dal’s binding helps keep Ringer from being entirely deaf and blind, and even when he is not in control, or even what they call ‘dormant’, he lends Ringer his ears. 
Ringer insists he can get by with just his hearing, even if Dal doesn’t always believe him. Since Dal never got the chance to have his own body, he has mostly lived in Ringer’s head and vicariously through his body. Dal is constantly breaching Ringer’s body’s limits, and doesn’t see the problem because he can’t feel the negative effects. It is a consistent problem.
Considering he always has to pick up the pieces after Dal does things to their body, Ringer is almost perpetually in a bad mood. Speaking his mind about it is something he’s not afraid of, until he’s feeling like he’s in trouble. Then, he shuts down and agrees with everything the other person says. This isn’t to say that he’s not still upset, though.
Ringer could literally eat sweets all day long, and he likes salty-sweet things the most. He dislikes spicy food, as it doesn’t agree with him, and is very lactose intolerant. This doesn’t stop him from eating ice cream, however. That is one of the few things that Ringer will do to his body, knowing that it will have consequences later.
Ringer doesn’t really have a favorite animal, but he is partial to foxes. He loves to watch them and enjoys playing with Disco.
Ringer is a mama’s boy. He loves his dads, considering Pete, Nalkyra, and Vegreth all his fathers, but his mother is the one that he enjoys being around the most.
Often times, Ringer tends to look bad due to Dal’s greed. He has to navigate Dal’s many lovers in the morning, typically, and dislikes having to deal with how much he needs attention. Ringer likes it quiet and lonesome, because he’s never truly alone.
They often bicker out loud and are not shy about it. When they speak, they both have a distinctive voice, which makes it easier to identify them when one knows them. They will only keep their in-fighting in their head as thoughts if they are trying to be stealthy for whatever reason. Dal is incredibly bad at remaining stealthy for long when he’s unfocused, which is often.
Ringer likes to be alone, even if he can’t escape Dal poking at his business. He would much rather sit quietly in a room with someone, doing their own thing, in order to spend time with someone. While he is a talented writer, he is not very good at articulating his feelings and dislikes small talk.
Ringer will sit down and focus on something for hours if Dal allows him to. He forgets to care for himself and requires Dal to step in to remind him on occasion.
Ringer rests best when Dalvoreth is in full control, even if that means he has cleaning up to do when he wakes. Dal will force him back when he wants to, and Ringer has yet to learn how to do it in return.
Headcanons Masterlist
TAGS LIST
I Kinda Like It When I Make You Cry 'Cause I'm Twisted Up Inside (Ringer Thelman)
When I See It I Am Ashamed Of Everything I Could Have Been (Ringer Musings)
Live Fast Die Young Bad Boys Do It Well (Ringer Aesthetic)
How Many Hits It Takes To Make Me Bleed (Ringer Closet)
I'm Never What I Like I'm Double-Sided (Ringer Headcanons)
Why Do I Have To Explain Why I'm Like This When Every God Damn Thing's About You? (Ringer Journal Entries)
VERSES
TBD
MAINS AND SHIPS
MAINS
@southxparkxafterxdark​ - Ray - As Safe As Knee And Elbow Pads In Cul-De-Sacs With Traffic Lights (Ringer and Ray - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)
@southxparkxafterxdark​ - Lia - Wake Up The Beast Bury The Bones (Ringer and Lia - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)
@southxparkxafterxdark​ - Arne - Feel The Chains Are Getting Heavy But I Don’t Know Which Are Mine (Ringer and Arne - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)
@southxparkxafterxdark​ - Reagan - Hey Mom Dead Mom I Need A Little Help Here (Ringer and Reagan - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)
@southxparkxafterxdark​ - Luca - There’s A Billion People On This Planet That You Could Have Bothered But For Some Reason You Chose Me - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)
@southxparkxafterxdark​ - Luca and Dalvoreth - Like A Rattlesnake Like A Bellyache (Ringer and Dalvoreth and Luca - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)
@southxparkxafterxdark​ - Henrietta and Dalvoreth - I Can Do Both (Ringer and Dalvoreth and Henrietta - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)
@southxparkxafterxdark​ - Can’t Go To Hell If You’re Already There (Ringer and Michael - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)
@squealformepiggy​ - Scott and Dalvoreth - I'm Just A Walking Talking Bag Of Guts And Stuff And I'm All Bloody Inside (Ringer and Dalvoreth and Scott - Squealformepiggy)
@throughxthexmist​ - Nalkyra - You Pull The Hood Back I Wanna Know Which Way Will The Heavenly Go (Ringer and Nalkyra - ThroughxThexMist)
@xrainbowxmusesx​ - Terrance - I Can Get Back Up Now (Ringer and Terrance - xRainbowxMusesx)
Here - Dalvoreth - I Know That I'm Not The Only Person In My Soul (Ringer and Dalvoreth)
Here - Pete - I'm Tired Of Trying To Iron Out My Creases I'm A Bunch Of Broken Pieces (Ringer and Pete)
Here - Vegreth - You’ve Got A Vision You’re On A Mission (Ringer and Vegreth)
SHIPS
TBD
#I Kinda Like It When I Make You Cry 'Cause I'm Twisted Up Inside (Ringer Thelman)#When I See It I Am Ashamed Of Everything I Could Have Been (Ringer Musings)#Live Fast Die Young Bad Boys Do It Well (Ringer Aesthetic)#How Many Hits It Takes To Make Me Bleed (Ringer Closet)#I'm Never What I Like I'm Double-Sided (Ringer Headcanons)#Why Do I Have To Explain Why I'm Like This When Every God Damn Thing's About You? (Ringer Journal Entries)#As Safe As Knee And Elbow Pads In Cul-De-Sacs With Traffic Lights (Ringer and Ray - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)#Wake Up The Beast Bury The Bones (Ringer and Lia - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)#Feel The Chains Are Getting Heavy But I Don’t Know Which Are Mine (Ringer and Arne - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)#Hey Mom Dead Mom I Need A Little Help Here (Ringer and Reagan - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)#There's A Billion People On This Planet That You Could Have Bothered But For Some Reason You Chose Me (Ringer and Luca - SouthxParkxAfterxDa#Like A Rattlesnake Like A Bellyache (Ringer and Dalvoreth and Luca - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)#I Can Do Both (Ringer And Dalvoreth And Henrietta - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)#Can't Go To Hell If You're Already There (Ringer and Michael - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)#I'm Just A Walking Talking Bag Of Guts And Stuff And I'm All Bloody Inside (Ringer and Dalvoreth and Scott - Squealformepiggy)#You Pull The Hood Back I Wanna Know Which Way Will The Heavenly Go (Ringer and Nalkyra - ThroughxThexMist)#I Can Get Back Up Now (Ringer and Terrance - xRainbowxMusesx)#I Know That I'm Not The Only Person In My Soul (Ringer and Dalvoreth)#I'm Tired Of Trying To Iron Out My Creases I'm A Bunch Of Broken Pieces (Ringer and Pete)#You’ve Got A Vision You’re On A Mission (Ringer and Vegreth)
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Okay but here's a question. How do we know which supes Soldier Boy's blast would actually kill or not? Like think about it. At times his blast would only take away their powers (like kimiko and maeve) and at times it would straight up incinerate them (like Countess and the TNT twins). So my question is, how were they so sure the blast would kill homelander and ryan? Arguably they have the same durability maeve and kimiko did, so if the logic is that supes with durability and regenerative powers would survive the blast, Homelander and Ryan would've survived too. They just wouldve lost their powers, which worked perfectly since then they could just kill hl and Ryan wouldn't have turned into the brightburn kid. Am I the only one that sees the connection here? They really should've let soldier boy do his thing, chances were both hl and Ryan would've survived considering their powers. And that my friends, would've been a more interesting route to go for in s4.
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girlgenius1111 · 4 months
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i could change up my body and change up my face
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arsenal x platonic young reader
warnings: this discusses an eating disorder. this is based off my experience; everyone's are different.
You thought you were doing the right thing. The healthy thing. You'd always been a more muscular player, and it hadn't really bothered you. Football players varied in size; it didn't mean anything for how good you were. You debuted for Arsenal at only 18, and people had a lot to say; most of it you could handle. The comments on your weight, on how if you were smaller, you'd be faster, better, were what caused the problems.
It spiraled quickly; one day you were skipping dessert, and the next you were skipping entire meals. It was hard to balance: eating enough that you didn't feel like you were going to pass out on the pitch, but not so much that you could barely look at yourself in the mirror. Evidently, it was harder than you thought. You only managed it a few weeks before people began to catch on that something was up.
Your teammates had noticed that your behavior was off recently. You were less talkative, and you saw everyone outside of training a lot less. A few of them had discussed it, and had decided to keep an eye on you, see if things got worse.
When you passed out during training, everyone thought you were joking. It had recently become a popular prank; you and Kyra pretending to be hurt, scaring everyone, before popping back up. It was a bit of a boy who cried wolf situation: when you went down, a few people glanced over, but thought you were kidding, especially because no one had been near you. It was a hot day, though, and you'd barely eaten. You were lightheaded before you got out on the pitch, but once training began it only got worse.
You managed to last through the first part of the scrimmage, before you had to stop, putting your hands on your knees and breathing hard. Black spots dotted out your vision, and the world spun gently around you. You though you heard Katie make a joke about you already being winded, but you were falling to the ground.
In fairness to your teammates, it only took about 10 seconds before they realized something was actually wrong. Katie and Lia watched you go down, and something about it just looked wrong; you crumpled too easily for it to have been on purpose. Swearing, they both rushed to your side, rolling you onto your back.
"Fuck. Medics!" Katie called, kneeling down beside you.
"Hey, y/n, can you hear me?" Lia called, lightly tapping your cheek. Your eyes were shut, and you were completely limp on the ground. At her prompting, though, you groaned, shifting slightly and opening your eyes. Both girls sighed in relief. You blinked up at them in confusion. Why were you on the ground? You tried to sit up, but both girls stopped you.
"No, stay here, we need to make sure everything's alright," Lia said, as the physios finally arrived. A small crowd had gathered around you and your cheeks flushed red at that realization. You'd messed up. No one was going to let it go that you'd passed out. None of your protective, caring, overbearing teammates would let it go until they knew why this had happened. And they couldn't know: if they knew, they'd make you stop.
That was really all you could think about: how possibly you were going to play this off. As they got you up, after you blatantly refused a stretcher, and walked you slowly into one of the medical rooms, your mind was flashing from excuse to excuse.
"What are you feeling?" John, the head physio, asked, once you'd settled on the exam table. He was looking at you carefully, as if he could see right through you; it was incredibly unnerving.
"Just a little dizzy, I don't think I drank enough water," you replied. John looked at you searchingly for a minute, before asking another question.
"Did you eat breakfast today?" he questioned, eyes not leaving yours. It was the way he asked; not what did you eat, but did you eat, that told you that you were caught. You knew they'd notice that you'd lost weight, you all had to do weigh ins to correctly meal plan. You just hadn't noticed a difference, and assumed there wasn't much of one. But the way that John was looking at you, it must have been more than you thought. Enough that they'd noted it, and enough that they seemed to know what they were dealing with.
"Yeah of course," you lied. He could tell.
"I'm gonna step out for a minute, alright?" With that, he headed out of the door, leaving you to stress in the room. You didn't know where he was going, and it terrified you that he could come back and blindside you with anything at any moment.
You heard voices in the hall, and prepared yourself for an onslaught of different physios, and maybe the club psychologist. You weren't really sure what your plan was, and you didn't have anytime to settle on one before the door was opening.
It wasn't John, or a different physio. Not the club psychologist either. It was Leah and Katie, both walking into the room with incredibly worried looks on their faces. Briefly, you thanked god that Kim was out; she had this specific look she gave, and whenever you got it from her, you told her whatever you had previously been trying to hide. The odds of being able to lie to Leah and Katie weren't great, but better than if Kim had been there too.
"Using me to slack of training, McCabe?" you tried to joke. Neither girl cracked a smile.
"We talked to John. Do you want to tell us what's going on?" Leah responded, ignoring your comment.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I just got dehydrated, I'm fine." Apparently, you'd decided to play dumb. A strategy you weren't so sure of as you tried to hold eye contact with Leah.
The blonde sighed, taking a seat in one of the chair in the room. Katie remained standing, arms crossed over her chest. You were expecting tough love; harsh words that told you to get your shit together. You weren't expecting Leah's voice to soften, for her to look at you like you were fragile.
"Y/n, we want to help you."
"I don't need help with anything," you insisted.
"Then why have you lost a significant amount of weight in the past 3 weeks? Why did you just pass out on the pitch? And why haven't we seen you at any team dinners recently?" Katie replied. Her expression was hard, but you knew it was masking her worry.
You didn't know what to respond to that, honestly. You'd been expecting them to tiptoe around the issue for a while, try to get you to admit to it. In the back of your mind, you wondered if maybe you weren't in trouble. Maybe what you'd done was wrong, was bad, but it didn't mean they were mad at you, like you'd expected.
"Listen kiddo, we know there's a problem. There isn't anything you can say that will make us think there isn't."
"I don't know what to tell you. There isn't anything going on. It's not on me if you guys are seeing things that aren't there," you replied, crossing your arms. Both girls sighed, and exchanged looks.
"Okay, y/n, if that's how you want to play it. If everything is fine, you can come over for dinner with me and Lia tonight." Leah told you.
"I can't-" you began.
"Be there at 6," she interrupted, her tone leaving absolutely no room for argument.
-----
You took a seat at the table, putting your hands underneath to hide how much they were shaking. You really didn't want to be here, but there was literally no way to get out of it. If you didn't show, you expected Leah, Lia, Katie, and probably half the team to show up to your house. You didn't want to draw anymore attention to the issue that you already had, so you just needed to get through this dinner, eat the food, and go home.
How hard could it be?
"We made your favorite," Leah told you, setting down a full plate in front of you.
"We?" Lia questioned, smirking at the other woman.
"Okay, Lia made your favorite, I sat nearby and kept morale up." You only weakly smiled in response, your attention still on the seemingly massive amount of food in front of you. If they noticed, they left it, taking seats on either side of you.
They kept the conversation going, with you contributing very little. Instead, you pushed the food around your plate, taking bites every so often. You weren't saying anything, forcing every bite down your throat. Lia and Leah watched you carefully, seeing the way every time you brought the fork to your mouth, you looked like you were in pain.
You could have done this meal normally. It was just that you'd had to eat lunch with the team after training, and the food in front of you was food that had practically haunted your nightmares in the last few weeks.
By the time you'd gotten halfway done with your plate, you were close to tears. The conversation had died out, and the older women were watching you as the fork shook in your hand.
"Y/n," Leah said softly, placing her hand over yours to stop it from trembling.
You let out a deep exhale, putting your face in your hands.
"I'm sorry," you said, voice muffled. You felt horrible. Truly, completely, horrible. All you could think about was the calories you'd consumed, and the fact that there was literally no way for you to deny this anymore. It was terrifying; the recognition from the others that you had a problem made it all the more real to you.
A hand was on your arm, pulling you away from the table. You went with it, standing and following Leah out of the kitchen. She led you to the couch, sitting down in the armchair across from you. Lia came in too, placing a glass of water on the table, before sitting down on the next to you. You were staring intently at the rug, following the pattern in it across the floor, instead of looking at either of the other people in the room.
"You don't need to apologize, y/n. You're not in trouble, and we're not mad at you." Leah stated cautiously. You remained quiet. "Can you tell me when this started?"
You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking for a minute.
"Neither of us are going to judge you for anything you tell us. And we aren't going to tell anyone what you say, as long as you let us get you help," Lia promised, and you found yourself looking up at her, blinking back tears. Her face was open, kind, and you felt yourself opening your mouth and beginning to talk.
"It's only been like a month."
"Did something happen that caused it?" Lia questioned.
“I'm not really even sure what happened. I know I shouldn't read comments on social media but I did and I couldn't stop and all of a sudden..." you trailed off.
Both girls sat in silence for a minute, clearly thinking hard about what they wanted to say.
"We'll talk to the club psychologist, and we'll get you in therapy. We'll get you better, and everything will be fine," Leah said, trying to project confidence. You knew she was just trying to help; outline a plan for you, let you know that there was a fix.
It wasn't that easy, though. The way she said it, like it was just a matter of going to therapy, and then it would be all better, made you inexplicably angry. Clearly, she didn't understand how hard this would be.
"It's not that fucking simple Leah," you said bitingly, and both girls looked at you in surprise.
"Y/n, I know it's not-"
"No, you can't just say that. List out 2 steps and make it seem like it'll be easy. It's going to be impossible, and I don't even want to-" you cut yourself off, jaw snapping shut.
"You don't even want to what, y/n?" Lia asked, eyebrows pinched in confusion.
"I don't want to stop. I don't think I can, I don't think I'm strong enough," you said, voice cracking over the last few words. Just as quickly as it had arrived, your anger had disappeared, leaving your eyes stinging with tears.
Before you knew what was happening, Leah was crossing the space in between you, sitting down on your other side, and pulling you into a bone crushing hug. The force of it knocked the air out of you slightly, leaving you to hold tightly to the stability that Leah brought.
"I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't mean to make it sound like it would be easy; I know it won't be," she paused. "Alright, I don't know what it will be like, because I haven't gone through this, but I promise you, you are strong enough to get better.
"And you don't have to do it alone; we'll be here, whatever you need," Lia cut in from your other side, sounding earnest. They wanted to help, so badly. It shouldn't have surprised you, how much they cared, but it did. It always did.
-----
Lia had told the truth. Every member of the team, even if they didn't know exactly what was going on, helped you in some way.
Leah and Lia had you over for dinner most nights; their support was silent, but there all the same. They didn't make a big deal of it if you finished your meal, or if you didn't. They trusted that you were trying.
Katie took your phone one day, wordlessly grabbing it out of your hands and disappearing. When she came back with it, you found the comments on all your posts limited to people you followed.
Alessia ate lunch with you, every day, no matter how long it took. She talked to you to, about her experience, but never made you feel like you had to tell her anything in return. It helped more than you could express, knowing that you weren't alone, that someone knew what you were going through.
Viv grocery shopped for you, when she figured out it was something you struggled with. She always bought too much, but she always gave you options. When things started to get easier, Viv still took you grocery shopping. It was her way of checking in without making you talk, seeing how you were doing by how overwhelmed you got.
You were partially right; it wasn't easy, but you were strong enough. And when you weren't feeling like you were, your teammates stepped up and were strong where you weren't. You could do it, you could recover. You weren't sure if you would have been able to by yourself, but it didn't matter, because you weren't.
-----
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dqrciedaily · 2 days
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baby arsenal headcannons, arsenal wfc x teen!reader
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a/n: i am so so so sorry that this isn’t an actual fic but i’ve left yous without anything for like two weeks so take this 🥰🥰🥰
warning - this isn’t proofread so pls ignore any mistakes x
-
1. she is maths no.1 public enemy - literally will stare at her homework for two hours instead of actually trying it. then the next day at school she gets in trouble for not doing it but she genuinely couldn’t care less because she’d rather have them email lia than try do trigonometry
2. her tiktok reposts and twitter likes have fans speculating like there is no tomorrow - she’s definitely liked transfer rumours on twitter before as well as reposting things she shouldn’t be and she reposts things that happened way back way but people think it’s about her current situation, leading to some very concerned fans in her tiktok comments and instagram requests.
3. baby girl has stina and laura wrapped around her finger - she’s cold? stina’s gonna give her the jumper she’s wearing. she’s hungry? laura’s up to make her something to eat, even though maus is perfectly capable of doing it herself. they’re basically on her beck and call.
4. she always curses out players in german on the pitch - when she was younger her brothers taught her the art of cursing people out in german then speaking in english to confuse them. however this did not work when arsenal played chelsea and she went flying after a tackle from nüsken, who very obviously understands german, leading to maus getting a yellow.
5. which leads to the next point which is that she gets her fair share of yellows - giving katie a run for her money, although most of hers come from back chatting the ref and not from actual gameplay, although she isn’t afraid to put in a heavy tackle here and there.
6. her + kyra = little shits on steroids - on the first media day of the season they decided to put y/n and kyra in three of the same interviews, let’s just say absolutely nothing productive happened until caitlin had to come in to do an interview with the two of them.
7. she’s lia’s no.1 reason for her early gray hairs - firstly maus is awful at answering phone calls, so if she’s out with her friends and lia needs something best believe she cannot contact her. secondly the amount of emails the school sends her may send lia into overdrive, she genuinely couldn’t care less if y/n didn’t do her homework as long as she’s passing all her classes, which she is (besides math but lia doesn’t need to know that.)
8. y/n has the best outfits - her instagram feed is filled with mirror pics of her outfits and they’re all just so good!!! she’s known for her fashionable clothes throughout the woso community.
9. she gets really really really nervous when doing interviews by herself - she already refuses to do orals in school because they stress her out too much, so after her first full 90 for arsenal she gets called to do an interview and poor girl is swaying from side to side the entire time, stumbling over her words and overall looking like a deer caught in headlights.
10. the first time she brings a girl or boy home lia gets a group of the girls to pretend they’re over for dinner without telling y/n - so then when y/n gets home she sees most of her teammates there and very hastily shoves her ‘friend’ upstairs, before going over to the girls who all tease her. then when she’s upstairs in her room with her ‘friend’ they all take turns coming upstairs to walk past the closed door to hear what they’re talking about.
11. she is a hugger of note - the first time she meant all the girls minus her shy demeanour she hugged every single teammate she met. she is also a massive cuddler, on the team bus she makes ours sit in the window seat (much to the brunettes complains) then uses kyra as a pillow which 1. forces kyra to be quiet because she doesn’t want to wake y/n and 2. she can’t move around the bus as she wants deciding to annoy everyone which the other girls are very thankful for.
12. her first crush on a girl was laura freigang, who she had seen around the german youth camps before - she even told her parents at one stage that she was going to go to penn state just like lau did but that phase was short lived when she then developed a crush on one of her teammates in her age group instead.
13. in another life she’s a dj who lives in ibiza - literally no explanation needed, she truly is a party animal at heart and would go to all the festivals and raves possible during the off season.
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mysunshinetemptress · 6 months
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Heart Eyes
Leah Williamson x Reader
Warnings: none
You had been dying to meet Leah’s family from the minute she first started talking about them “there is loads of us and when we get together we are just big and loud and the atmosphere is always amazing and I just love spending that time with them.” You loved it anytime she talked about them it’s what you had always wanted yourself coming from a big loud family yourself, but the want of staying just the pair of you in your nice little bubble had stopped you from meeting her family on numerous occasions until today.
You had been watching the Euros since they kicked off in Manchester at the start of the month but now you where finally here about to enter Wembley and hopefully watch your girlfriend lead her country to a victory they so desperately deserved. You had talked every night about how they had played what they could improve on who you where taking to the next match, mostly going with your friends before she asked you one night in Brighton “if we make, no change that when we make it and we get to play the final in Wembley, my entire family is going to be there aunts uncles cousins grandparents Mum,Dad and Jacob.” You nodded along listening to her intently “I want you with them for it not sat separate like you have been, I want you with my family if we win this thing Y/n because one it’s about time you guys met finally bringing my world together and two because I want all the people I love in the one place.” You smiled at the phone letting it slip that she had just hinted at loving you before speaking up “when you win it darling.” Leah nodded smiling like the Cheshire Cat down the phone at you.
That led you to this moment of walking around the food stalls as the back of the seats looking for your stand before feeling your breath catch in your throat at the sight before you, Wembley Stadium was almost full with still an hour before kick off, it was a sight every person who worked in women’s sport would kill to see, it showed that they had made it through the countless hard times of trying to get people to take them seriously to believe they where just as good as the boys and it was Leah who had helped get them there leading England to it’s dream win “teared up the first time I saw it as well.” You turned looking at the captain of the Swiss team “even if it wasn’t for my team this shows that we are a lot closer to what we wanted then we thought no.” You nodded pulling Lia into a hug “I’m so proud of you Wally you where amazing really.” Lia smiled giving you a squeeze “would haven been better if I had you talking numbers in my ear but I get it girlfriends before everyone else.” You laughed pulling away “it’s easier to read when it doesn’t come to you in three different forms to be translated.” You both laughed Lia understanding that her sending you stats to read in Swiss German, Italian and French was not easy to break down however many times you tried for her. “Who are you waiting on.” You shook your head you had introduced all of the Arsenal girls who had attend the matches to all of your friends you had dragged along to watch and couldn’t help watch their reactions with a smile at the introductions “no one I’m eh.” Lia looked at you confused “well then where are you sotting I can’t believe you came by yourself to the final of all matches.” You shook your head laughing “I’m not going to be alone Wally don’t worry I’m meeting Leah’s family.” Lia looked at you shocked before a smile took over “oh my god today of all days she wants you to meet them I swear she doesn’t think sometimes how do you feel about it.” You smiled “nervous but I can’t wait I’ve wanted to meet them since she first told me about them.” You both stoped talking as a voice interrupted “we have wanted to meet you too since the minute she mentioned your name.” You turned taking in the three people in front of you and the gang that stood behind them realising it was in fact Leah’s family. “Oh your just as gorgeous in person.” You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks begin to redden as you looked at Lia who smiled at the family in front of you both “hi.” You held your hand out to shake “it’s lovely to meet you Mrs Williamson.” Leah’s mum shook her head pulling you into a hug “please call me Amanda darling.” You gave her a squeeze before letting her go and nodding before she turned “this is Jacob Leah’s younger brother.” You went to shake his hand before he pulled you into a hug as well “we finally get to meet instead of over the phone.” You laughed letting him go remembering all of the times he annoyed Leah robbing her phone and talking to you for a few minutes before handing it back. “Yeah finally get to meet my favourite Williamson it’s taken to long.” He laughed before stepping to the side as you looked at Leah’s dad “Y/n.” You let out a shaky breath before reaching out to shake his hand “Mr Williamson, it’s really great to meet you.” You looked at Lia nervously as the older man looked at your hand before breaking out into a smile and pulling you into another hug “it’s nice to finally meet you.” You smiled before stepping back and turning back to the family in front “how are you feeling about today.” You nodded “nervous but excited I’m so proud of her.” Amanda shook her head “no not about the match love about meeting the crazy lot behind us.” You smiled at the group behind Jacobs head “no better time like the present.” You smiled as Amanda grabbed your hand leading you over to crowd of people you spent the 20 minutes getting to know.
Leah sighed entering the pitch getting ready to warm up for the most imp match of her international career, looking around in aww she could have sworn her heart stopped as she watched you laugh with her family her mums arms wrapped around you pulling you into her as everyone looked so relaxed. Her smile seemed to widen as she took in her England jersey Williamson plastered on the back you were right where you belong where she wanted you to be most “oh skipper get your heart eyes out of the stands and on to the pitch.” Leah shoved Mary laughing as they ran a few drills her heart happy at what she saw.
Leah’s cousin Jordan had recently had a baby and wanting to experience this family moment altogether brought her daughter clad in an English jersey and shorts with bright pink ear mufflers to block out the noise. Ellie had been quite content sitting beside you on her Mims lap laughing as you talked to her babble nonsense as well as allowing her to play with your ring and bracelets as you talked to the adults around her. What she didn’t like was the noise or how her sleep was being snatched away by the fierce battle happening on the pitch. You had been on your feet screaming with everyone else when Ella had chipped in a gorgeous goal as well as cheering on Jill as she went after a German player for knocking her down. You had taken Ellie into your arms at the the time the penalty was being checked for a potential handball by none other then your girlfriend, Ellie had been trying to grab your attention placing her hands on your cheeks and babbling “hold on darling I’m watching Le I’ll give you all my attention in a second.” Amanda beamed beside you feeling herself get slightly emotional at the way you had fitted in so well with them all and how you spoke so kindly to Ellie. The match had been tied and was plunged into extra time as you hoped they wouldn’t have to do penalties as the anxiety they cause you just from watching on the couch most definitely would crash into you ten fold but you had been sat quietly praying that the girls scored once more to bring it home cursing yourself quietly as you looked down at the sleeping baby in your arms realising you wouldn’t be able to jump up when it happened, Jordan had offered to take her multiple times but the young girl had cried every time she was taken out of your arms. You regretted the decision when Chloe Kelly had put the ball in the back of the net in over time and had taken off down the pitch jersey seining behind her that didn’t matter when you looked down at Ellie and how content she was just lying there asleep. You slowly raised from the seat hugging Amanda’s side as you all slowly realised this could be it England could win euros with only five minutes left on the clock.
You didn’t jump when the final whistle blew you just bowed your head closing your eyes in relief they had done it the lionesses who had been banned from playing football 50 years ago had done what the boys had been trying to do since Bobby Charlton in 66 only they had never been told they weren’t allowed they had brought it home a major trophy with Englands name on it forever immortalised in history. You sniffed trying not to cry but when you turned looking at Amanda, Jacob and David hugging celebrating Leah the way she deserved you couldn’t help it trying to do it quietly as possible to not wake Ellie “oh Y/n they’ve done it.” You nodded resting your head on Amanda’s shoulder as she pulled you into her side “thank you for coming.” You shook your head “I would have missed this for the world but I’m so happy we got to meet today because I couldn’t imagine celebrating her with anyone else.” Jordan squeezed your shoulder grabbing your attention before you turned looking to the pitch to see Leah approaching you shifted Ellie slightly in order to wave at your girlfriend as she turned to look at you blowing a kiss before you noticed her eyes softening. “I’m going to marry her.” Georgia turned looking at Leah smiling immediately “yeah Le your heart eyes sort of give that away.” Leah shook her head ignoring Georgia “I told her I loved her by mistake I wanted to do it romantically but it sort of just spilled out when we where talking about stats on the phone the other night.” Georgia looked at Leah surprised “but now ready i mean look at her G.” Georgia smiled looking at you before waving beaming happily when you waved back “can I officiate the wedding.” Leah laughed nodding her head before blowing one last kiss to you and walking off to collect her medal.
You had all waited patiently in one of the boxes with the rest of the lionesses families for the girls to come in before you would all head off to celebrate. Jordan had taken Ellie back who was still napping quietly. You had mingled with Leah’s family before spotting Viv and going over and chatting about the season ahead and the short holidays planned before getting back to training. Standing with your back to the door you explained your job and ultimately how you and Leah met to her family “I’m a Statistics analyst for Arsenal.” They all looked at you so confused with what maths had to do with a sport like football “anyone know the movie moneyball.” David piped up clapping his hands together “yeah the one with Brad pit and Chris Pratt.” You nodded your head “basically that movie is a true story on how the Athletics created a baseball team using statistics so they looked at statistics like how fast they through the ball how hard they hit it to see who they wanted to sign from current teams as well as future prospects, my role is kind of the same I look at our current players our academy players and players who are benched that can do more for our team then they are doing sitting on a bench for 90 mins.” They all smiled impressed in your role “so how did that lead to you meeting Leah.” You smiled at the memory “she went wandering around London colony one of the days with Lia Walti who’s stats I was reviewing and discussing with her after her injury they ended up outside my office. Every morning after that she was stood outside every morning with a hot chocolate and that slowly changed to her waiting for me after training and then on the last day of Summer break last season she finally asked me out.” You jumped before relaxing feeling arms wrapping around your waist “and the rest is history darling.” You smiled at her nodding her head before moving forward as you knew her family would want to congratulate her on such a win.
Leah had been making her way around her family talking mostly about the win or you before she stopped watching you sat with her Nan playing with Ellie “oh Le.” Leah turned looking at her mum “hmm.” “She’s absolutely perfect in every way she adores you.” Leah smiled “not as much as I do her.” Amanda smiled squeezing Leah’s shoulder “I think you might have to fight her on being Ellie’s favourite.” Leah laughed “as long as it’s not the other way round and I have to fight Ellie.” Leah turned to her mum gully now “it’s her.” Amanda looked at her eyes softening “I’m going to marry her.” Amanda nodded “I know Bubba.” Leah looked at her mum confused “how.” Amanda laughed turning to look at you interact with the family “your heart eyes love.”
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sofs16 · 7 months
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rehearsal?
my first lando fic hehe
lando norris x influencer!reader
fc: madeline argy
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yn
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liked by landonorris, and 2,484,595 others yn u gotta loveeee spring time
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liked by 653,686 others landonorris freshhhh
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landowins LETS GOOO MONACO
yn
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liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 3,272,228 others yn humahumahuma
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ynlauver whats a humahumahuma
⤷ yn @ynlauver idk… when do we ever know what i’m saying tho
mclando4 mclaren wyd here 😋
━ yn just tweeted !
yn @yn • 1h
STUPID FUCKING STUPIDDDDDDD
15:22 • 05/27/23 from earth • 543k Views 54k Reposts 10k Quotes 143k Likes 10k Bookmarks
Replying to @yn amelie @ynsbaee • 1h WHAT HAPPENED MOTHER?
Replying to @ynsbaee yn @yn • 41m your mother is an idiot. WHO CALLS QUALIFYING “REHEARSALS” AND THINKS THE CARS GO IN ONE AT A TIME AND SAYS IT TO THE FUCKING DRIVERS IM SO STUDPIC IM GOING TO MFKSSM 😭😭😭
jess @ynsracetrack • 30m
is yn talking abt f1.. HELLO?
15:52 • 05/27/23 from earth • 1,383 Views
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Replying to @ynsracetrack lia @ynloml • 1m THE FUCK SHE MET LANDO AND OSCAR
ynupdated
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liked by landonorris and 13,383 others ynupdated NEW| Yn with Lando Norris at the Monaco Grand Prix! Via @ mclaren
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landonoririzz lando.. we see you…
landohasrizz so proud of our boy! met his long time crush 😵‍💫
⤷ ynxoxo who wouldnt have a crush on my wife?
yn
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liked by landonorris , charles_leclerc, and 4,978,808 others yn @ landonorris @ oscarpiastri @ mclaren is my public apology for calling qualifying “rehearsals”
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landonorris Anytime! You looked great today 🧡
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landonorris Had a great time at rehearsals with you! [ COMMENT DELETED ! ]
landonorris Anytime! Hope you enjoyed 🧡🧡🧡
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landonorris Anytime! Hope you’re enjoying Monaco so far 🧡
⤷ yn oh believe me, i did ;)
landonoriszz lando😭
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oscarpiastri We had a good laugh, all good! Enjoy the race tomorrow 🧡🏆
━ yn just followed back @ landonorris ! ━ yn just followed @ lando.jpg !
━ @ lando.jpg just followed back @ yn!
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liked by 2,586 others ynupdated NEW| yn with a fan leaving the Monaco gp with P2 champion, Lando Norris! view all 112 comments
yncutiebae oh we’ve lost her.
yn
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liked by landonorris, and 7,383,595 others yn mans got p2 and made me drive. i see how it is, norris. + sun here has got a GRIP on me view all 1,218,596 comments
ynwifeys HARD LAUNCH WHAT
ynmotherly mother knows what she did putting that last slide in her hard launch
landonorris Well, I am a passenger princess and you’re a better driver 😁🧡
⤷ yn awwwieee our lil lando princess ❤️😊
⤷ landonorris youre ruining this for me
⤷ yn buckle up sweets, you're in for a lot more! youre stuck with me for the week! ⤷ carlossainz55 landonorizz ❌ landohasrizz ✅
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lando.jpg day 4
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f1over giggling. lando following back yn even if he doesnt usually follow back people (literally only follows his main and daniel’s jpg acc 😭)
yna @ynlandos • 4d
guys is ynlando still alive.. they havent interacted with each other since monaco … 😓
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replying to @ynlandos lia @ynloml they can’t be over, i refuse.
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landonorris Word on the street is me and my gf broke up? Huh? Lando NoRizz never took off for a reason 🧡 Happy 7 months @yn lovely 🫀
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carlossainz55 Lando Norizz certainly took off, what are you talking about, my muppet friend?
oscarpiastri Bet you’re grateful you were the one who brought up Yn to be invited to the GP 😂
⤷ landonorris shhh pastrami shhhhh
⤷ yn thanks babe
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yn i’ve done a lot of researching over the last 7 months to the point i can become the team principal! (andrea this is a JOKE IM SORRY). anywyas, love u my cutie patootie photographer @ landonorris loveulovuelovu
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landonorris i am NOT a cutie patootie!
⤷ yn fine, no cuddles ig
⤷ landonorris IM A CUTIE PATOOTIE,NEVERMIND
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