Kitty cat stickers! ^^ Hello Tumblr my old friend ❤️

you can also find me on hive social! it's @stepstofluency

Your profile picture is absolutely adorable!😭💛

OMG HI Thank you so much! He's my emotional support character 😭😭<333

AND AND AND IS THAT PATPRAN I SEE IN YOUR PFPPPP ASFSHAKSJ I LITERALLY LOVE BAD BUDDY

i don’t know you and you said you wanted people to get to know you so why don’t you do 5, 10, 11, 16, and 26! :D

Thanks so much for asking! Let's be friends!

5. Favorite form of potato?

I loooovvveee a good baked potato. Give me all the butter and sour cream in the world. Baked potatoes are so underrated and need more recognition.

10. On a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

I usually ask for a Sprite, but between these two options I would pick apple juice.

11. Anything from your childhood you've held onto?

Physical items? Sure, I still have some old toys and things that I'm keeping in case one day I have children. I've also held onto a lot of traditions that we've done in our family since I was a kid, too. I have a lot of photographs and memories that I hold close to my heart as well. I was very blessed to have a childhood that was fun and memorable.

16. Thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. The color, the flavor, the crunchy bits of chocolate. Yes.

26. How's your spice tolerance?

Not so good. I ate a jalapeno once by accident and couldn't finish my dinner because my lips were numb from the spice. I can go as far as like hot cheetos and that's about it. HA!

Hi! I see you on my dash a lot....and I just want to say.... thank you ❤️

Hi, y'all!

Okay, so to put this up front, I am really new to talking about my transness. It's been hovering there in my mind for a long time, but I've never acknowledged it out loud, and now that I've got a place to express it, I'm afraid it's going to come gushing out like a firehose. I feel like a teenage girl who is starting puberty and is super excited about how her body is changing and about discovering who she really is and exploring her sexuality and feeling scared and excited and a little out of control, and I think that's probably reflected here more than I mean it to be. I think this blog will be a little cringey at times, and also probably more than a little "oooh, shiny!" the way that adolescents can be. I'll probably say some things that offend people that I really don't mean to offend, and sound hopelessly naive when I'm trying to sound worldly and wise.

Ugh. I'm way too old to be going through puberty again, but I guess that's what I get for letting fear hold me back for so long, right?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and that you'll say hi sometime!

Much love 💜

Jess

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

very sleep deprived doodles of whatever’s going on inside my brain

I'm b♡red!!!!!

asdfggfdd your name is the same as the initial of my full name m.a.e and idk why but i find that so nice

Hi hi hi hi asfgajdgs that's so cute!!

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

SOCIAL BUTTERFLY

i am such a people person. others around me ask me why i talk to strangers. they ask why i do not shy from conversation. i tell them the truth, i love people. my simple hello's and my smiles are small gestures, but i hope they speak.

"you are not alone," says the grin.

"we may be strangers, but we do not have to stay that way," says the raise of my eyebrows.

"it is as easy as saying one word. that is all it takes to begin to know each other," says the glance.

because i am an open book. to know me is merely to see me, to know me is just to wave at me, to know me is simply being here. to know me is to be reading this right now.

- ivy

Grief

ref photo by @jawsstone