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shuaffeine-rkive · 7 years

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in dreams | 01

∘ description: and only in dreams, will we be able to meet once again. ∘ pairing: taehyung x reader ∘ genre: soulmate!au, angst with a small chance of fluff ∘ word count: 4008 words ∘ warning: verbal bullying, self-doubt, character death

my first attempt and jump onto the soulmate au bandwagon, but I’ve seen this coming for a while now. thanks to my boo @vanillattae for reading this first (and helping me pick out the main character)!

part 02 (final) is up here! masterlist

There was a time when you didn’t want to sleep.

You remembered your 7-year-old self, a bundle of energy that couldn’t keep still no matter where you were. You longed to run across the fields behind your humble home in the countryside, enjoying the fresh air to your heart’s content without caring for what little responsibilities awaited you at home. You remembered pouting every time your mother called you back in as the sun began to set, constantly whining that you still wanted to play outside. The young you didn’t see the point of sleeping and resting, since all you saw was a wide expanse of white, blinding walls surrounding you from every direction and nothing to keep you company for the hours you spent sleeping.

You had heard stories from your friends who had met their soulmates in their dreams. It was a blessing, adults had claimed, to be able to stay connected with their significant other in such an intimate way from the young age of seven. The pair of you could even go on a daily adventure throughout the night as the white boxes melted into whatever landscape you heart wishes to see, and what’s best is that you had your other half with you during that moment. The catch is, however, that you and your soulmate had to be present in the dream to be able to melt the white interior away. One of your friends, for example, was unfortunate to have a soulmate living across the globe in a completely different timezone, and would often have to wait hours on end until his partner tucks themselves into dreamland before finally having company. Alas, he still had the chance to meet his soulmate regardless of the short duration, whilst you had never once saw who you were meant to be with.

At first, you had cried when you realised that you were the only one who couldn’t meet their soulmate in their dreams, your young mind assuming that you were a glitch in the system. You had spent countless mornings waking up to tears, your parents concern growing with each passing day, yet even they could not tell what was wrong with you. Soon, you accepted the fact that maybe you were an error in the system, that you were never meant to fit into the paradigm. With acceptance comes a change in attitude, and it wasn’t to anyone’s surprise that you found comfort in the reality around you, resulting in a child who explored the world around her with more passion than any other.

On the other hand, there were times where you found comfort in the empty space as well. As you grew up, you were met with the various kinds of challenges every teenager would face, but you found it hard to find someone to confide in. Sure, you had your friends, but none of them had been very open to sharing their personal struggles with one another as they preferred to retreat into their dreams and confide in the one person they knew would understand, leaving you with no one you could trust to that extent. When life felt too heavy on your shoulders, you could find yourself in the vast white emptiness – pouring out your feelings and screaming until your throat felt raw – and you found comfort in the fact that no one was there – that no one could judge you for anything you said or agonised over.

Initially, your parents were surprised that you had spent so much time in a place your younger self had cursed and hated so much, and thought that you had finally met your other half. You remembered the way their eyes shone with so much hope, so much relief that their child could finally meet her soulmate, and you couldn’t bring yourself to tell them the truth. Instead, you had plastered on a fake smile, feigning shyness as you refused to tell them about your imaginary soulmate. Soon, retreating to your own solitary world became a habit, and you found yourself curled up into a ball of mixed emotions more often than you would think proper, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to break that habit. After all, that was the only time you could unleash the whirlpool of emotions within you without fear of judgment, and without fear of being labelled as week.

What you didn’t expect, was that the day would come when you finally had company.

You were a few months over sixteen, nursing a broken heart that came from your own stupid naivety. How easily had you fallen into the devilish trap of a senior, how easily had you been swept off your feet by his sweet words promising forever, that he too was an error in the system like you were. You had naively believed in those lies of his, and even when he had ruthlessly revealed his true intentions, you were still in denial, clinging onto whatever reality you had wanted to craft with him helplessly, before he had finally landed the last blow that shattered you.

“Get it in your head that you’re a glitch. You were never meant to be born in the system and you won’t ever find someone perfect for you because there is none.”

His words had hit you hard, and it took all your willpower to save your last remaining pride by not breaking down then and there. You could barely recall arriving home, ignoring your parent’s calls and heading straight to your room, locking yourself in and breaking down completely. You could faintly hear your parents’ worried knocks at your door, trying to get you to tell them what was wrong, but then you thought, what would they know? What would they know about the pain of being a sole error in the system that brought you to life, that brought everyone but you happiness?

Tears were still running down your cheeks when exhaustion finally overcame your senses, taking you to the familiar white emptiness you had grown accustomed to. You had curled into a ball, silently wishing – praying – that the universe could give you a second chance, that they would reconsider your fate and finally give you the one person you had so desperately wished to meet.

Perhaps it was fate who finally decided to have mercy on you, because soon you felt arms going around you, pulling you into a warm embrace that left you rigid in shock.

Your first instincts were to pull away, scramble as far back as possible to move away from the sudden intruder. You gaped in shock as your eyes fell upon a young man, probably no older than you were, with light brown hair and warm brown eyes. Your eyes scanned over his features, mentally noting how perfectly crafted his visuals were, and your heart skipped a beat when your eyes found his again, an odd feeling stirring inside as you stared back at him.

“Sorry if I scared you,” his voice was a deep, velvety baritone that sounded like honey in your ears, snapping you back to reality. “Are you alright?”

It took a few moments for you to realise that this unknown boy had shown up in what you knew to be a private place to yourself, raising your guard immediately. “Who are you? How did you get into this space?”

“I’m Kim Taehyung,” he replied, a soft smile playing on his lips, “and as for how I got here, it was a struggle but I had finally made it.”

“But that’s not possible,” you argued, eyes still trained on the male in suspicion. “Only soulmates can meet each other in their dreams, and I’m a glitch with no –”

It dawned on you that the universe had finally granted you your lifelong wish for a companion. You felt a rush of emotions wash over you, threatening to drown you as a fresh batch of tears glazed your eyes over. You felt a few drops of tears trickle down the side of your face as you whispered, “You’re my soulmate.”

Taehyung smiled a bittersweet smile as he walked over to where you sat in disbelief, pulling you into a strong embrace that you now returned. You buried your face in his chest, your senses going crazy at the earthy smell of him, not paying heed to the fact that your tears had already started wetting his shirt.

“I’m so, so sorry that it took us this long to meet,” he whispered in your ear, his voice cracking towards the end. “I’m sorry you had to wait such long years to see me.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered back, pulling away to look at him in the eyes, a hand reaching up to cup the side of his face. “We couldn’t do anything about it, the universe must have gotten things mixed up the past decade or so. At the very least, we have each other now. It must be hard for you to live like a glitch, wasn’t it?”

A flash of pain went past his eyes, and he placed his hand over yours on his side, his eyes never leaving yours. “I can only imagine how hard it was for you, seeing as you were in so much pain just moments earlier.”

You shook your head, a smile breaking out on your face as you interlocked your fingers together, “I’m okay now. As long as you’re here, I’m okay.”

As you pulled him into another hug, you never noticed the look of pain crossing his face at your words.

You woke up the next morning with a wide smile on your face, a warm feeling rushing over you as you recalled Taehyung. After the little introduction, the two of you had decided to relocate to the top of a mountain Taehyung had claimed was in Daegu. There, under the stars that shined particularly brightly that moment, the two of you had engaged in a light conversation, getting to know each other to catch up on a decade of things you could have shared with each other.

You learned that Taehyung was an only child, born and raised in Daegu, and that he loved the natural world around him. You learned that he had never travelled to Busan before and was extremely curious of how your life there was. You had spent what felt like hours talking to him perched on the higher ground, as if you two were best friends who had not met for more than a decade and were more than willing to share all about that. You found yourself growing fond of the male almost immediately – probably because he was so friendly, listening politely when you shared about your life whilst giving the most animated reactions ever, and shared about himself with equal enthusiasm. You were rather upset when you found yourself rapidly getting drowsier, signalling that you were waking up in the real world. Taehyung could only laugh as he ruffled your hair, calling you silly for not wanting to leave.

“I’ll see you again tomorrow night, won’t I?” Taehyung grinned, “We can talk again every night from here on out.”

A part of you were scared that this would be your only time you could meet Taehyung, that fate was only generous for one time. But as you got ready for another day at school, all you could think about was Taehyung – his smile, his voice, the way he laughs so openly at certain things you said. You finally understood what people had meant when they said that they were drunk on the mere existence of their soulmate, that their other half was the only thing they could think of sometimes, and that brought you joy like none before. Your happiness must have shown in your behaviour, because your mother had called you out on the light skip in your step the moment you stepped into the kitchen.

“You were so upset yesterday you didn’t even come down for dinner, honey,” your mother said, eyebrows furrowing in concern, although you could see faint traces of relief in her eyes that you had visibly cheered up, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m very sure, mom,” you smiled widely at her, and for the first time in a long time, it was a genuine smile. “Taehyung cheered me up plenty last night.”

There was a beat of silence before you realised that you had accidentally slipped your soulmate’s name, face flushing tomato red as your mother smiled knowingly. Your father, who had been casually sipping on his morning coffee, put his newspaper down and grinned at you teasingly, “I assume you’re finally going to tell us about your soulmate? Tell me, who is this Taehyung boy you’re talking about?”

You quickly shoved a toast into your mouth, eyes avoiding contact with them as you felt your cheeks grow warmer with each passing second. Your eyes fell upon the clock hanging on the kitchen wall, widening as you realised you only had five minutes before you were going to be late. You finished the rest of your breakfast at record speed, hastily pulling on your shoes as you shouted a quick goodbye at your parents. You ran the whole way to school, sighing in relief when you made it on time as the first warning bell rang. You walked towards your classroom, making it a point to take a quick detour to avoid the class of a particular senior who were the source of your sadness the day before, and plopped down onto your usual seat by the window.

“Morning Jimin,” you greeted your friend as he slid onto the seat behind you, and he raised an eyebrow at your overly cheerful tone. You and Jimin had been friends for years, since he was the only one willing to get close to you whilst the rest of your classmates wanted nothing to do with a glitch. He had walked into the class half-expecting to find you moping, and was prepared to ask if you wanted him to teach that senior a lesson. However, when he found you glowing and smiling happily, he was rather confused, and was quick to voice his question.

“I finally met him, Jimin,” you smiled widely, eyes twinkling in happiness. “I finally met my soulmate!”

It took a few moments for Jimin to process your words, and when he did, he could not contain the shout of joy coming from his mouth, jumping up to pull you into a quick hug. His action drew a few stares from your fellow classmates, and you tried to calm him down whilst he shot questions at you rapidly.

“What’s his name? Where is he from? Is he our age? Is he seven years old, that’s why you’re only seeing him now? Oh my God, are you destined to be a paedophile?”

“Park Jimin, sit down and let me talk!” You shoved him back into his seat, and he opened his mouth to ask you another question before you raised a hand to tell him to quiet down. “His name is Kim Taehyung, he lives in Daegu, and no, I am not a paedophile.

“He’s our age,” you whispered softly, a smile playing on your lips. “He’s been living thinking he was a glitch the past decade, he’s been living like me. He exists – my soulmate actually exists.”

Jimin could only smile softly, patting your head in affection as he, too, was happy that you had finally met your other half, “I’m really happy for you, y/n. I really am.”

Two years had passed since your first encounter with Taehyung. The pair of you had grown closer than ever, spending most of your nights exploring a new landscape or simply settling down to talk. It was as if you two had known each other for longer, as he knew you like the back of his hand and vice versa. He could easily pick up on the changes in your mood, whether it be stress because of an upcoming test or simply mini frustrations directed towards your school life. You knew that he was rather concerned that he would soon need to leave his hometown to move on with his life, and that he was saddened by the thought of leaving his parents for an extended period of time. He knew your worries, and you knew his – you were each other’s counsellors, boards to bounce your random ideas off of and you cherished his presence. His presence had you looking forward to the night, brought a smile to your lips when certain things in school reminded you of him. You longed to be able to meet him in person, and since Christmas was coming up, you thought it would be the perfect time to make a trip to meet him.

“Tae, what do you think about me visiting you for Christmas?” you asked him one night, eyes twinkling with delight as you imagined meeting him in real life. “I’m sure my parents would be okay with me making the trip, and I would love to meet you and your family as well!”

Taehyung immediately froze, his eyes clouding over with an emotion you can’t decipher, and you felt the arm around your waist stiffen at your words. He bit his lip in what you thought to be panic, and you took it as a sign that he was against the idea.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” you strained to place a smile on your face, watching the way he looked at you with guilt in his eyes. “There’s always next time, yeah?”

Taehyung bit harder into his bottom lip, trying to explain his action, “I’m really sorry butterfly, we’re not going to be in Daegu during that time. I, too, know that my parents would love to meet you too, and you have no idea how much I want to see you in real life. Just – maybe not this time?”

You nodded in understanding, knowing that it couldn’t be helped if circumstances made it so that you couldn’t make it. Alas, a part of you wondered if he was only making an excuse as to not see you, but you shrugged that thought off. This is Kim Taehyung, your soulmate. Why would he not want to see you if he was able to?

Thus, you spent most of your winter break helping out your parents at work, occasionally going out with a couple friends to the beach. You still went on late-night adventures with Taehyung in your dreams, but you couldn’t help but notice the slight tension in the air after your previous mention of seeing him in reality. You two tiptoed around the topic of real life, and more often than not, you found that Taehyung was distracted when talking about his own life. You realised that when he had replicated what he shared about his day for two days in a row, and when you had called him out on that, you could see the guard in his eyes, your gut feeling telling you that he was lying straight to your face. You wanted to respect his privacy, but a part of you were just curious as to why he would suddenly retreat like that. The past couple years had been great, you two were open to sharing down to the tiny details of your life, so what had changed now?

Days passed as your suspicion continued to grow, and one day, you couldn’t help your curiosity any longer. A day before his birthday, you decided to risk it all and travel to his hometown, armed with only snippets of landscape where he had showed you around his neighbourhood to locate his home. The whole trip there, you were so nervous you thought your heart couldn’t beat any faster without rupturing. You were scared that Taehyung would strongly reject you, scared that this would leave a permanent rift in your relationship. Alas, you still found yourself in front of the doorstep of his supposed house, feeling a sense of déjà vu as you recalled visiting this place once in your dreams. Your rung their doorbell and waited in anxious silence, fiddling with your fingers as you waited for someone to open the door.

Soon, the door swung open and you find yourself staring into a pair of eyes you had grown to know so well. The woman who answered the door had the exact same eyes as Taehyung did, and you assumed that she was his mother. You could see the faintest resemblance between the boy you met every night in your sleep and the old woman before you, her beauty shining despite the lines of old age engraved to her face.

“Excuse me, is this the Kim’s residence?” your voice came out surprisingly stable, as you tried to calm your heart down.

“Yes, yes it is,” she replied, her eyes eyeing you with curiosity. “Can I help you?”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, my name is y/f/n,” you bowed respectfully at her, before standing back up to meet her gaze again. “This might be a shock, but I’m Taehyung’s soulmate. Is he home?”

The woman could only stare at you in shock, her mouth hanging open as she raised a shaking hand to your shoulder. Tears started to collect on the side of her eyes, leaving you bewildered at the sudden turn of events. The elder woman pulled you into a hug, one that reminded you so much of Taehyung, and continually whispered apologies in your ear, yet you didn’t understand what she was apologising for. As she pulled away, she welcomed you into their home, and began telling you a long tale of the past.

You soon found yourself on a train back to Busan, mind numb from the things Taehyung’s mother had revealed to you. Although it was mid-winter and freezing outside, you felt that the coldness inside you was more overwhelming than that on the outside. It was as if you were running on autopilot, brushing off your parents’ questions as you stepped into your own home, claiming that you were tired from the trip and would like to head straight to bed. But as you lay in your bed, your mind was racing as for the first time in a long time, you were scared to fall asleep. How were you to confront Taehyung about the knowledge you now possess?

You barely had time to process it before sleep had consumed you again, and you found yourself in the familiar white expanse. Taehyung was already there, waiting for you, and it occurred to you suddenly – why hadn’t you realised that Taehyung was always there when you fell asleep? Why had you not realised that it didn’t matter how early or how late you had tucked yourself into dreamland, he would always be there waiting for you regardless?

Taehyung’s smile dropped the moment he saw your perplexed expression, a frown immediately on his face as he strode forward to hold your arm gently. “Butterfly, what’s wrong?”

You looked up to gaze into his eyes, his warm orbs reflecting so much concern for your wellbeing. You saw so much worry in them, you could even see his mind racing to find reasons why you could have been so drained. Tears welled up in your eyes as you cupped the side of his face, feeling his warm skin beneath your palm as you asked yourself, is this even real? Taehyung grew more anxious as seconds ticked by, internally panicking as you started crying but not knowing what it was that caused you to be upset. He tried hushing you, whispering sweet words that you could tell him anything, that he was there to help you no matter what. However, the moment you answered him, his breath hitched, his eyes widening at the question you asked as a response.

“Taehyung, when were you going to tell me that you're dead?”

part 02 (final) here!

#s:in dreams #g:angst #l:tall #kth #soulmate!au #bts #taehyung #kim taehyung #bts scenarios #bangtan fanfics #cosmos #sirius

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