one thing i really like about the apothecary diaries is how fluidly maomao moves between high- and low-class society, between the rear palace and the pleasure district, allowing us to see the parallels in the power dynamics. in both settings, we see women trying to make the most of their relative stations with whatever tools available to them, which are often shared. much of the politics of the series centers women and the ways they try to navigate the world through seduction, marriage, beauty, fashion, manipulation, etc, because these are the things they're valued for. their appearance, their social graces, their "purity", their marriageability, their ability to bear children, and beyond - these all lend political, economic, and social leverage to themselves and their families regardless of class.

the mystery angle in particular enables the story to closely examine what tools and motives are available to women in the apothecary diaries in a way that's contextualized and humanized. it's also how the series highlights said women operating with a keen awareness of society's expectations and systems. whether that's applying deathly white powder to maintain impractical beauty standards, faking illnesses to deter certain visitors, using parlor tricks to subtly punish callous men, or wearing ostentatious outfits to hide a certain truth, each mystery we encounter reveals more about what it means to navigate the world of the apothecary diaries as a woman in addition to revealing their cleverness (or lack thereof) in doing so.

maomao is no exception to the rule, often weighing similar questions of propriety and power before she acts - although she does engage from a unique position. she's a literate woman from the lower class with special circumstances surrounding her birth, versed as an apothecary, and favored by highly ranked members of the court. this, plus her marked lack of ambition beyond medicine, gives her a lot of mobility between and (relatively) unbiased insight into both the high- and low-ranked parts of society. in turn, we readers are given a fantastic protagonist to explore what i consider a core draw of the series: seeing how maomao chooses to move through the world, highly conscious of her own social positioning as well as that of all the other women around her

Flowers are often used as a metaphor for the female characters in the Apothecary Diaries. And for the first time, we, the viewer, are given the direct comparison to which flower is meant to represent Maomao: wood sorrel (also known as “cat’s foot”).

It’s a flower that can treat poisons. A flower that is used to enhance the beauty of the courtesans by painting their nails. A flower with a name associated with cats. A flower that, in hanakotoba, represents maternal tenderness. It’s also one of the flowers that Lakan specifically associates with Fengxian, and by extension, Maomao herself.

In the first opening—aptly titled, “Be A Flower”—the wood sorrel is the only flower that gets special attention. The other flowers are shown together with other varieties, but only the wood sorrel is shown by itself, and more than once.

We see it again in the second opening, with an infant being held by a parent, while flitting between images of Lakan and Fengxian’s backstory.

It’s such a simple flower, too. Small, unassuming, but full of diverse uses and qualities, be they medicinal or ordinary. A very fitting flower for Maomao, and what she brings to the story.

Stunted Love. Or: The Theme of MaoMao's little finger.

Maomao's little finger is a recurring motif in the Apothecary Diaries, and it receives even more emphasis in the anime's first season - it represents her belief that romantic love leads to pain and destruction. Spoilers primarily for the anime, but also the epilogue of light novel four and Chapter 15 of light novel six below.

Love In A Cage

The motif is first introduced in "The Unsettling Matter of the Spirit" - Concubine Fuyou's story. Maomao has already noted the parallels between the red light district and the Inner Palace, but here we see what happens when romantic love is introduced into the mix. On paper, Concubine Fuyou is a literal object of pity. Her personhood is being gifted to an officer who recently distinguished himself on the front lines, discarded after having failed to please the Emperor. It's telling that this is one of the first times we see Jinshi interacting with a consort where he is completely serious, without bringing his charm to bear. We never hear him say anything, but it's clear that he's communicating the Emperor's order with respect and understanding the gravity of the consequences for Fuyou.

As the events of the episode unfold, the parallels between courtesans and consorts get stronger as Maomao introduces the concept of having a contract bought out - if a man wants a courtesan enough, she is also an object to be purchased, albeit at potentially astronomical price. At first glance, it would seem like these women have absolutely no power in these scenarios - but by the end of the episode, Maomao shows us the feminine side of this transaction - how a woman can manipulate the system she is trapped by in order to get what she wants. All she has to do is lower her value - a rather counterintuitive measure that can go horribly wrong all too easily, as we see later.

And what Concubine Fuyou wants is to escape the Inner Palace to be with the man she loves - a task that she succeeds at. She has played a long, patient game in the service of freedom. Trapped in the cage of the Inner Palace herself, Maomao holds her scarred finger against the freedom of the sky and wonders what kind of medicine love would make.

Devotion

We see further flashbacks to Maomao's past through multiple episodes, but the next time the concept of love is brought up is when Fengming is confessing her role in the death of Consort Ah-Duo's baby in "Honey" (episode 11). Maomao is brought up short by Fengming's confession - she flat out says to the audience that she's never loved anyone with that depth of devotion Fengming displays toward Ah-Duo, so she doesn't know how Fengming feels. But if she doesn't have empathy to offer, she does have a rough kindness. Another person might have said that Ah-Duo deserved to know why her son died, that the knowledge might have provided closure. Maomao, however, believes that knowing the baby's cause of death would only cause more pain (it's never the crime and always about the cover-up) without providing any actual benefit.

With these two episodes framing her early character development we see that, whatever Maomao's natural inclinations are (and I will leave discussion of neuro divergency to those better qualified to discuss it), there is a certain distance between Maomao and her emotions most of the time. It is implied that this distancing from her emotions is a trauma response as the image of a woman holding a knife above her head while kneeling on a bed is shown but not explained (it is the only recurring image during the montage before the discussion about her potential execution with Jinshi).

Lakan and Fengxian

In "Lakan" (episode 18) the motif begins recurring more often as Maomao's parentage is revealed. We've caught glimpses of the sick woman in the annex before, but as the camera pans over the bed, it's clear that this is Maomao's mother (as always in anime, the hair is a dead giveaway). We've seen Maomao in this room, always curled in a fetal position, staring with blank eyes, but here we see Maomao actually caring for a woman who she describes as driving her out over and over again. The camera's focus is on Maomao's eyes as she watches her mother continuing to deteriorate - they're blank yet again, echoing her earlier line of "This is stupid. She's gone."

This is not the look of a girl who genuinely doesn't care about her mother. The image of her mother with the knife upraised is straight out of recurring nightmares that wake her gasping with terror and continue to haunt her after she's returned to work. While there is no AFFECTION involved, there are certainly very strong emotions here. Later, in the bath with Meimei, Maomao wonders if Meimei's in love - and immediately shies away from the thought, insisting that "love is an emotion I'm sure I left behind in the womb."

Interestingly, this is immediately belied as the Three Princesses (the women who took on the maternal role that her mother discarded) begin to pamper Maomao in the bath, and she relaxes into their touch, flushed with belonging and pleasure at their attention.

Confrontation

In "Blue Roses," (episode 22), everything has built to a head. By hiding Maomao back into the Rear Palace, Jinshi is acting as her shield - and Lakan responds with a power play. Both he and Jinshi are aware that Lakan knows his true identity, so Lakan provokes Jinshi with a political test. "Nothing is impossible" for a man with Jinshi's power - so providing some blue roses at a garden party in early spring should be simple, right? It's a near impossible task and Lakan knows it - even if Jinshi were to figure out how to dye the roses to be the appropriate color, they're still out of season.

Up until now, Maomao's response to Lakan has been to hide. But, with Jinshi's reputation on the line and seeing how worn out he is, Maomao has finally had enough. So she takes Lakan's challenge on and, while she's in the process of growing the hothouse roses so that Jinshi can best Lakan, she diverts unwanted attention from the Crystal Palace's handmaidens by showing Xiaolan how to do a manicure - something that draws attention to the deformed pinky on her hand and changes her perspective of the damage to the finger.

The art should be paid attention to here - we see close up shots of two other people's hands after having the manicure done - Xiaolan and Consort Lihua. In both of these shots, there's some subtle detail paid to their little fingers as well - Xiaolan's is ever so slightly crooked rather than perfectly straight, while Lihua flexes her fingers so that the pinky is extended as she looks at her hands. In the next shot, Maomao has done her nails as well - and when Jinshi draws attention to the fact that he's surprised she would do her nails (like Hongiang, Maomao usually prefers work over fashion), she looks at the finger and remarks that, even though her little finger is twisted and scarred, it looks better than it did before - an acknowledgement that the finger is not actually a hindrance, but a piece of her identity.

Healing

Giving Lakan the opportunity to finally do right by Fengxian is the most grace and forgiveness that Maomao can extend to either of her parents. Their romantic love is certainly sympathetic to an outsider, but Maomao was shaped by the consequences. Lakan's carelessness and Fengxian's willingness to break the rules of the pleasure district in order to deliberately lower her value so that she could be with the man she loved, is the guiding cautionary tale of her life.

But Maomao has also grown over the season. She is neither the terrified little girl, abandoned by mother and father alike (however unintentionally on Lakan's part) nor a teenager full of fear fueled rage at Lakan's persistence. She is Luomen's daughter and proud of that fact - she has found her family and a place in the world. It is with that more adult understanding of the world around her that she dances atop the wall of the Rear Palace, giving her parents the only thing she can, which is her blessing and best wishes for their short future, as she sends her mother off.

Sure enough, who is watching her as she takes a step toward a more mature identity but Jinshi? Other characters have provided a shield between Maomao and Lakan - Verdigris' madam, Meimei and even Luomen. But it is on Jinshi's behalf that Maomao decided to face Lakan herself. She loves her adoptive dad and granny and sisters with all the affection she never received from Fengxian, but Maomao's actions have always spoken much louder than her words - Jinshi protected her and she, in turn, chose to face her childhood bogeyman to help him.

Is it stating the obvious that Maomao tripping and Jinshi catching her is an obvious metaphor for falling in love?

As she dances on the wall, we see the two seemingly disparate sides of her identity coalesce into a whole. The moment she lets down her hair is a uniquely Japanese moment of eroticism (this is why maiko and geisha use the oshiroi that bare the nape of their necks), even as she's also deliberately reapplied her freckles.

The moment she realizes that Jinshi truly sees all of her in a uniquely emotional moment, she trips and is made terrifyingly vulnerable as she nearly goes over the edge - only to be caught safely in Jinshi's arms.

Safely back atop the wall, the little finger comes up one more time - except that this time, instead of looking at the damage inflicted and seeing the scar, Maomao looks at her pinky and shows it to Jinshi, telling him what sounds like a strangely gruesome medical fact. That a fingertip can regrow if cut off. For all the trauma that her biological parents caused her, for all that her pinky will be scarred for the rest of her life, the wound did heal. Maomao has healed - she is capable of friendship, loyalty and love that can inspire devotion - even if she rarely displays open affection.

Love Creates Fear

This motif comes back again, at the end of light novel 4 (what will be the end of Season 2, if the studio continues to stick to two light novels a season for pacing, which I expect they will). Jinshi has officially cast aside his cover as a eunuch and stepped into the political limelight as the Imperial Brother. Maomao, as a result of their adventures, has returned home, to her apothecary shop and, as she works she thinks about how everything has changed.

"Jinshi must have finally gone back to being whoever he really was. Maomao didn't know his real name: she couldn't have used it even if she did. The worlds they lived in were simply too different…Anyway, now that Jinshi was no longer a eunuch, he couldn't get away with keeping some lowborn girl around him…So it was for the best, really, that Maomao had come back to the apothecary's shop in the pleasure district."

As Maomao ruminates to herself about how she will never see Jinshi again, she retreats to what she knows best - medicine. She's got her emotions under lock and key and she's begun experimenting, working on creating a more potent painkiller. However, her pain tolerance is too high to work with her previous methods.

Or, to lay the metaphor bare, Maomao has dealt with abandonment before, but not like this. Her usual methods aren't working - so it's time to up the ante. What she does next is extremely telling.

"'Got to cut deeper if I want to be sure'. Maomao looked at her left hand, then tied some string firmly around her pinky. She stood and took a small knife from a cabinet. 'Here goes!'

Just as she was about to bring the knife down, a beautiful voice interrupted her: 'WHAT are you doing?'

Without a word, she turned to see a man in an unusual mask standing in the entryway of the shop…'Done with all your work?' Maomao asked, undoing the string around her finger and putting the knife back in the cabinet."

The thought that she and Jinshi are now living in such different worlds that they will never see each other again is painful enough that cutting her finger off in a thinly justified experiment is preferable to feeling her own emotions. What Maomao wants in this moment is a return to the emotional numbness of the past - only this time, she will do the damage herself.

But Jinshi is not Lakan and abandoning Maomao for any reason is simply not an option. Just as he caught her on the wall, Jinshi catches her again. A prince is standing in an apothecary shop on the edges of the red-light district, a place where he should not be - except for the fact that it's where Maomao is.

Connection and Communication

Finally, as a callback toward the end of light novel six, Jinshi and Maomao are beginning to reconnect after Jinshi screwed up and lost a lot of emotional ground in light novel five's epilogue, and he does the following.

"She reached out for the package, which Jinshi had put behind his back, but he planted a palm on her belly to keep her from sitting up and she couldn't reach it. She kicked her legs from sheer frustration and this time he grabbed her ankle. She was just trying to decide what he might be planning when he brushed the tip of his pinky finger along the back of her foot.

'Hrk?!' Maomao choked, squirming...The back of her foot, and her back as well, were hopelessly vulnerable to a gentle brush of the fingers.

'M-Master Jinshi...That's...not...fair!'"

While Jinshi is still the instigator in this scene, this is the the first instance of romantic and sexual contact that Maomao accepts, eventually bursting out laughing - and when he gets that laughter, Jinshi also immediately backs off, accepting that he has pushed her as far as she can go right now. But that first contact was via that tiny fingertip representing love.

His hard-learned patience is rewarded when Maomao is finally willing to speak to Jinshi about how she's feeling about his desire to marry her, first obliquely as they discuss the plot of a very familiar tragic romance, before she addresses the issue directly.

"Instead of answering, she murmured, 'I don't want to be an enemy.' Jinshi gave her a sidelong look as if to ask whose enemy she meant. 'To Empress Gyokuyou,' she said.

Would Jinshi understand what she was saying? If not, that was fine, Maomao thought. There were things even he didn't know.

'You - '

He seemed about to ask her something else when a horse whinnied outside..."

Maomao may be hesitant, she may feel very confused, but she finally gives Jinshi something to work with here - communicating to him not that she simply doesn't care about him that way, but that she has a very real, concrete fear about what a romantic relationship with him would mean, not only for them, but for everyone else around them.

That's a lot to balance on the tip of a pinky.

Maomao and Jinshi from an AroAce Perspective

Listen I'm not saying that these two are aroace but to me they are really seem to be. It's not just the fact that Maomao's color scheme is the ace flag, it's how these two approach romance and sexual situations.

This will have spoilers for the manga and LNs so don't read ahead if you don't want to be spoiled.

Starting with Maomao. Maomao is preceded as cold, weird, ugly and unapproachable by most other people she meets in the Palace with the exception our lovely main cast. But even some among them start off thinking she's at the very least strange. Hell it was the fact that she stood out so much that first attracted Jinshi's attention.

Maomao herself doesn't seem interested in romance at all, or sex, but she does know quite a lot about it due to her upbringing. There are many times where Maomao uses her knowledge of brothel techniques to get favors or take people off guard: giving advice to Lihua, getting Lihaku to take her to visit her family by offering a visit to the Verdigris House, teasing/intimidating people, the sex-ed class she did. Yet nothing includes her getting sexual with anyone, or romantic. She's not seducing anyone, as much as Jinshi seems to be getting that idea.

She sees her knowledge, and sex and romance, as a tool or something to be traded. Growing up in the Pleasure District it's how she saw these things being handled, she herself doesn't even think she can fall in love. She LOVES people, she CARES for people, but she was never in love with someone or wanted to get sexual with them.

Then Jinshi happened.

And yes at first she was very against any of his advances. She perceived him as fake and therefore didn't think any of his flirting had much merit above him wanting to get laid or to tease her, which is almost impossible. Maomao is shown to be very difficult to fluster and again given her upbringing she is much better suited to fluster others as there isn't much she hasn't head of or seen in terms of seduction. Still there are times as early as season 1 (the first two LN volumes) where she does like Jinshi. She likes him when he's being real, when he's not trying to be "Jinshi" and is actually himself.

One of such times is the first time we see Maomao blush and see Jinshi make her blush. This was when she was fired and was helping out at the big party with her sisters. Jinshi only lightened up when he saw Maomao and at the time he wasn't actively trying to flirt like he normally did, he wanted to kiss and touch her yes but not in the normally teasing way he does. Instead he didn't even realize the lipstick Maomao wore would transfer to his own lips, he was that happy, that enamored with Maomao being there.

And in response to such a simple thing, an indirect kiss, something so tame when compared to everything else she's seen and heard, makes Maomao blush. But of course Maomao is oblivious as well and doesn't realize that every time Jinshi flirts he's being serious. From her perspective he can have anyone he wants, and that much is true, but the only one he wants is Maomao.

When she realizes his secret, one of them at least, she wants to act dumb. She knows for sure that he isn't a eunuch, she knows he can prove it but she doesn't want him to, she wants to be in denial because it will make things easier. He would still be "Jinshi, the flirty eunuch", ironic given that's the part of him she doesn't like but it's also the part of him that makes it easy for her not to be attracted to him.

Her attraction to him, at least the point where she admits it to herself, comes when Jinshi completely drops his fakeness, when she gets to see the real him, the lonely, vulnerable Prince who, like herself, has been forced to fit many roles just to survive. It's only when she spends time with the real him that she starts to admit she likes him.

That is when she turns the tables on him and starts teasing him. She even gets her hands on birth control when she expects them to sleep together and when they don't she keeps teasing him to the point where Jinshi tells her to stop because she's driving him crazy. It's all small things, running her fingers up his hand and his knuckles, letting water drops linger on her lips and fingers, eye contact, again nothing too seductive or sexual, but to Jinshi it's like finding water in the dessert because the woman he's been pining for is finally reciprocating his feelings.

Maomao's attraction, her feelings, her willingness to get physically affectionate and have sex, all of these only manifest towards Jinshi after getting to know him, the real him and spending time with the real him. She needed that connection with him, that deep bond in order for all of these feelings and desires to be something she invites, and lets herself feel for the first time in her life.

Now for Jinshi. Jinshi, even if only looked at as a eunuch, is easy to guess that he comes from a high standing family, money and privilege. He doesn't know how things work outside of the Palace, as evidenced by his reaction to Maomao's make-up and why she wears it. He knows that Maomao is beautiful, with and without freckles and he was horrified when he was told she only applies them to lessen the chances of being sexually assaulted.

From the moment he sees Maomao he's interested in her, at first because she stands out so much, she's smart, she can read and write, she has knowledge of medicine and poisons, she can be useful to him. A new toy to entertain him. But it doesn't take long for that to turn into genuine interest and after that a crush, one-sided for the longest time but still a crush.

He finds it fun to get a reaction out of Maomao. He flirts with her more then he does with anyone else, in fact he doesn't seem to want to flirt with anyone else and the only time he does so is to help Maomao with a case she's working on. He uses his flirting, his good looks and his good looks as a distraction, as a weapon, to gain favors. Much like Maomao has seen all of these things in her upbringing.

When Maomao reacts to Jinshi's flirting he finds it amusing, even if she doesn't return his feelings. Her not being smitten by him, or rather by "Jinshi" is another thing that draws him towards her. She's not after his looks, his money, his position, a one-night stand or anything of the sorts, she's one of the only people that sees through him and starts to see the real him.

He is also very jealous and prone to misunderstanding what Maomao does with others. Part of this is because Maomao leaves out so many details but he also never thinks she's being romantic with anyone, his mind goes to sexual favors, because that's what other people look at him for. The women that want him only want him for his good looks and smooth voice, he knows this, so as far as romance goes he never thought much about it, and as a Prince he thought he would only marry to make kids, not for love. He even said as much when noticed that Gaoshun wanted him to settle down and have kids.

The moment Maomao left was a wake up call. Before he too thought she was fun to spend time with but he didn't know just how much she meant to him. He was so horrified that she would have to take clients that he offered to buy her right away, was smitten when he saw her and then protective when other men at his house noticed how pretty Maomao is.

Jinshi isn't someone who opens up easily, just like Maomao he has roles he has to play, all of which carry risk that could get him killed. When he does let his guard down he is much more likely to be flustered by Maomao, something that he's not used to as he normally the one doing the flirting. When they were on their "date" and he does into a brothel/restaurant he's not even aware of what it is or is interested, and also not realizing that it's the first instance of Maomao being jealous.

Another instance of him being flustered is when Maomao falls on top of him when she's trying to climb out of the hole they got stuck in after an attack and falling into the river. By that point he had already seen Maomao in her underwear and now he had her pressed up against him, that was all it took to get him hard and reveal one of his secrets. He was very flustered here, yes because his secret got out but also because this was Maomao, his crush, on top of him, pressing against him, with her hand on his dick, even if it was still covered.

Following that we see Jinshi open up more and more, showing Maomao his real self, getting hurt for her, accepting her help when he needs it, worrying for her to the point of choking her to stop her from swallowing poison. He isn't "Jinshi" with her, not when they're alone, he can finally be his real self.

Which also means that Maomao can see how easy it is to get under his skin. Jinshi wants to have that venerability with Maomao, he wants an actual romantic relationship, not one based on his looks or one that revolves around sex. When Maomao thinks they're about to have sex she brings birth control, she doesn't want to get pregnant, she doesn't want to have kids right now, it was just about sex, like she thought Jinshi wanted too.

But that wasn't the right time or the right circumstance to have sex, not yet because now Jinshi is the one chasing that romantic connection, now that Maomao has met him on the sexual attraction front.

Maomao and Jinshi compliment each other beautifully in many aspects, their personalities, their different perspectives due to their upbringing, the way Maomao is more knowledgeable in sexual manners, less so in romance, yet finds herself not opposed to them when she gets to know Jinshi more, and the way Jinshi saw himself as valuable for his looks and only considered real romance after meeting Maomao.

I'll likely make a more in depth post once I've read through all the translated light novels but

Hello Apothecary Diaries fans I am in volume 8 and would like to reassure you about the choking scene from volume 5

Spoilers under the cut!

Okay so there's a scene at the end of volume 5 (the manga is not there yet) that many have interpreted as sexual assault. For the sake of those sensitive to such topics, I'm going to give a light on spoilers version of the scene and then an in depth analysis. Personally, I do not view the scene as sexual assault, but it is very forceful and carries A LOT of very sad subtext. You'll understand what I'm getting at in the more depth part.

So, the general gist of the choking scene.

MaoMao and Jinshi are in the garden to escape a banquet. They talk for a bit about a very scary incident that occurred that day (thankfully nobody was killed) and share casual conversation. Then Jinshi brings up that they're at this banquet to find him a wife. I won't spoil the specifics, but fyi MaoMao has been wearing an accessory this whole time that loudly announces (to everyone except herself, of course) that She's The Favorite™. Despite how obvious Jinshi has been with his intentions, including holding her hand and combing his other fingers through her hair while mentioning the whole wife thing, MaoMao evades him while thinking "I'm not capable of love". So, she tries to dodge him by offering up another woman. This is what causes Jinshi to snap and choke her, as well as hold one of her arms behind her back to stop her from fighting back.

He doesn't kill her. As far as damage to her throat, the text doesn't indicate any. He then leans his weight on her. MaoMao then remembers how she was taught sex techniques against her will be the Verdigris House women & decides to use those techniques against Jinshi. She then promptly leaves and Jinshi feels like the most pathetic man in world.

The two don't interact beyond official matters until towards the end of volume 6. Jinshi brings more rare medicine in lieu of an apology. The two talk around the wife situation again and MaoMao gets tickled. It isn't until volume 7 that they have an actual conversation breakthrough.

That's my light on spoilers version of the events. Now I'll give a more in depth version, that's honestly a good chunk of my own meta-analysis around the events of volume 5.

Honestly, volume 5 is full of really interesting scenes regarding Jinshi and MaoMao. This is the first volume after Jinshi has been forced back into Imperial Brother status, yet the first thing I noticed that actually changed between JinMao is how MaoMao takes initiative with him now. As soon as she learns an insect plague might be on the horizon, she dives into unprompted research and delivers her findings to Jinshi. She's no longer working at the palace or for Jinshi, but she still takes on the extra burden. She also takes initiative to get Jinshi some extra sleep (though she misinterprets his desire to not sleep alone). And later in the novel, when they're in the paper makers' village, MaoMao acts so cute when reapplying Jinshi's burn scar makeup. I'll let screenshots talk for me.

Like man. She's so cute. And I wonder, if these two didn't have to deal with social standing and imperial drama, would we get way more of them just being cute and companionable? If MaoMao wasn't an unwitting member of the Who Wants To Be An Imperial Princess race, would her feelings for Jinshi have grown without so much pushing and urgency on his end?

But I digress. I think a lot of volume 5, especially once they reach their travel destination, is MaoMao trying her best to keep her blinders on even though she is in the thick of imperial drama. She's especially desperate with regards to the blazingly obvious fact that a certain someone of very high status is in love with her. I think the end of chapter 6 does a very good job of driving home one of the major reasons why MaoMao is reluctant to trust Jinshi's feelings.

To add fuel onto this unfortunate fire is that MaoMao, as an unmarried courtesan's daughter, was attacked as an infant by her mother, sought after by fucking Lakan of all people, ignored while crying as a baby, and forcibly taught sex (to the point of tears!). She also had to cover for Luomen's own eccentricities, specifically ensuring they had enough money to feed themselves. MaoMao, to put it shortly, has been taught not to believe she can attain anything beyond her very simple life of being a lowly apothecary.

And then here's Jinshi who, as a prince, has been forced to grow up fast & have all his favorite things taken away from him. I think MaoMao is the first time he ever wanted a person. He is, for lack of a better word, obsessed with her. I think a lot of his pushiness & tendency to be clingy with her is him desperately trying to make sure he doesn't lose her. If he makes her his wife, then, well, she can't leave.

And I think the choking scene is him finally at his breaking point. At this point, he has lavished her with gifts, been very forward sexually with her twice, and given her a new hairpin that is essentially this story's version of a promise ring. It's MaoMao's repression/reluctance vs. Jinshi's desperation and so far she's winning.

But then she pushes him past his breaking point and he takes physical action against her. MaoMao responds by performing an unspecified sexual act on him.

So why don't I personally take this scene as sexual assault?

Mainly because I think the people actually guilty of sexual assault her are the Verdigris House women who forced MaoMao to learn sex.

As far as I understand it, whether MaoMao can actually say no to Jinshi is left up to interpretation. If we're talking on social status terms, she can't say no. But if you look at Jinshi's overall treatment of her, both before and after this scene, I very much think MaoMao can say no and instead chooses to defuse the situation.

Because what isn't for interpretation, however, is MaoMao's abysmal impression of what love and sex can actually be for her. So she defuses a situation by using sex, something she herself doesn't like, and doesn't allow Jinshi to reciprocate, which leaves him feeling terrible, too.

I want to be clear. I do think Jinshi is in the wrong for physically attacking MaoMao. But the sexual portion of the scene, at least to me, falls squarely on the shoulders of MaoMao's fucked up backstory.

Anyway, I think I've typed for long enough. I am using the official translations of the light novel for this analysis, so if any fans have access to alternate translations or WN only knowledge that throw my analysis in the trash bin, please let me know (fyi puedo leer el español).

I love this gentle moment between Maomao and Jinshi: it's peaceful and quiet, but most importantly it's comfortable. There's none of the unease or disgruntlement Maomao usually shows around Jinshi nor any of Jinshi's flirty antics and fake smiles. It's just two young adults having a normal conversation and enjoying the evening.

I also love how their camaraderie and their comfort around the other show in the way Maomao teases Jinshi about missing and regrowing finger tips as well as Jinshi freaking out over Maomao's wound (while she herself is totally nonplussed by it). It's a nice change to their usual cat and dog bug relationship and goes to show how close they've gotten since the start of the series

Music and sound effects in Kusuriya no Hitorigoto

One thing I haven't seen talked about is the quality of the music and sound effects in the Kusuriya no Hitorigoto anime. I'm no expert, so I'll just briefly mention what I've been able to notice.

The music in KnH is so good that it goes unnoticed in the scenes where it is used. I don't mean it's lost; rather it blends in naturally and cements both the animation and the VAs' acting.

Same for the sound effects. It's impressive how many sounds we expect to hear in each scene. And yet, if one pays attention one can enjoy the sounds that accompany each action: the sliding of clothes, the crackling of fire, water running, wind blowing, the sounds of day and night, etc. The sound guys at KnH have done an excellent job, in my opinion.

Hopefully someone with more experience in this area can give a more complete analysis. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy KnH.

Greetings and Welcome!

Recently got into some real good talk with @kusuriya-no-hitorigoto and decided to open up a blog about our bellowed Novel and Manga series with the same name!

Note that there might be some spoilers, if not multiple memes and a try at some fanfics as well as headcannons and analysis. Submissions, asks and some private messaging is more than welcome and actually very much appreciated!!

The pharmacy has officially opened!

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i get this feeling that like, reading the apothecary diaries as mainly a romance series is going to mess with your expectations of the story because (1) i think trying to map certain romance archetypes/plotlines onto it will be misleading, and (2) it really is the slowest burn i have personally ever read...

this is in large part because even though the story pivots around maomao and jinshi, so much of the story including past the manga into the light novels is about maomao's emotional growth and jinshi's imperial court politics - which is to say, not only or even primarily their romance. if anything, it's more about the journey of two people to eventually become the right partners for each other with crumbs of growing chemistry along the way. but it's not about them getting together, because so much of the story is maomao getting herself entangled in mysteries and situations that test (and overwhelm) her desire to remain emotionally distant, that teach her more about the nuances of humanity and her own heart. the mystery and political intrigue elements are still the primary driving force behind the narrative, so i feel like framing the story as a romance will make you expect romantic genre conventions that don't really map properly onto the actual series.

don't get me wrong, the slow burn romance is ABSOLUTELY a massive part of why i burned through the published english light novel volumes in 3 weeks, but i think being able to stop and appreciate how gratifying it is to see maomao grow beyond her grumpy "i don't want to get involved or get attached to anyone" disposition thanks to all the friends she makes and people she meets....... it's so lovely. and it does make her more able to respond to jinshi at that. anyway yeah. i do have qualms about stuff here and there, but i love this series damn

Just been reading a shit ton of random mangos and webtoons and they range from pretty interesting to chuunibyou bullshit. I run into the latter way too often, but what can you do.

A Returner’s Magic Should Be Special

I’m actually surprised at this one? Like, it could have been the same ol’ time travel OP MC bullshit but it’s like a found family with interesting shenanigans. It’s not perfect by any means but I actually like MC, Romantica, Pram, and Adjest. No harem trope (though Pram your crush on Desir is obvious, lmao) and Desir’s abilities mostly come from analysis. I recommend it for a good time.

Dimensional Mercenary

Like this one is............... it has interesting world building. I do like the idea of people in hopeless situations selling their souls to find out if there had been a way out. I just... hate MC? He’s not the worst character I’ve seen but definitely not very compelling. And I have no idea WHY he’s competent enough to get perfect runs in scenarios, but I like the concept itself so I stick around.

Survival Story of a Sword King in a Fantasy World

ONE OF THE BIGGEST SURPRISES. I was ready for some chuunibyou bullshit and what I got is some One Punch Man-esque dumbass humor I live for it. Those gonk faces really breathe life into me. It has the stupid OP MC trope but it punishes him for it (like the refrigerator has a minimum level requirement). No harem here (the cutest character is a male dragon wow). Of course as always not perfect but it’s like a greasy cheeseburger like it hits the stomach so good I know it’s bad for you but damn I’m right at home. The story is a pretty unique take too, considering how all the isekai victims are actively being hunted down in the fantasy world.

Solo Leveling

So so disappointed with this one. The first arc was great! I loved it! The oppressive atmosphere and hopelessness really was eye popping. The art is beautiful and fully colored. I was hooked! And then MC got his cheat powers and it became dull as hell. Over and over he just utilizes the big damn heroes trope and saves everyone via deus ex machina. I actually read the light novel and boy howdy did that piss me off to the point that I didn’t sleep very well. Super chuunibyou (or choding in this case). I’m just sad because THE ART IS SO NICE. I tell myself I keep up with it because of the art. The only time you level grind enough to be god is when you actually play a real vidya gaem. (It’s how I roll, lmao.) Interesting world building though, I cry.

Ranker Who Lives a Second Time

These webtoons sure love them revenge stories. Pretty nice art, but really dull MC. If you remotely like revenge fantasies pick this up, but nothing particularly unique happens. The dwarf blacksmith is a funny tsundere... That’s it. Disappointed that the female... rival I guess? gets a crush on MC. 

Tomb Raider King

Time travel MC, not necessarily OP but does have a lot of knowledge to back him up. A revenge fantasy in which he tries to fuck over a rich asshole. I’m down with that. Please fuck over more rich assholes. If I like anything about this it’s the poor side characters that get wrangled into his bullshit.

Hero? I Quit A Long Time Ago

Please don’t read this one. It’s One Punch Man but with an infinitely more unlikeable MC. And I have no idea if it’s the translators or if they’re actually saying it, but referring to little girls as lolis is disgusting. It lacks all the charm OPM has.

Chainsaw Man

Full on no. Had an interesting concept but the MC is such a disgusting unlikeable piece of shit. What the fuck ass kind of horny kid is this. His dearest wish is to grab some breasts. Wow. Unbelievable.

Marimashita! Iruma-kun

It’s alright! Just a standard shounen schlock, but I’m entertained. I’m super fond of Asmodeus because he’s like a demon version of Gokudera and I’m always here for my boy. Demon grandpa is always doting and bragging about his grandson and I’m having fun. MC becomes more and more childlike though and I have no idea why. Deku in the demon world I guess. I love that everyone’s an idiot at the end of the day.

Kusuriya no Hitorigoto

SUPER SURPRISED AT THIS. I really like it. It’s like a medical mystery drama set in ancient China.  Maomao is such a good protagonist. I like her a lot. She is hyper focused onto medicine and doesn’t even care for the local love interest who is crying into his bowl of cocoa puffs. The only thing that was a cop-out was that her freckles were drawn on and fake. THEY MADE HER CUTE FUCK YOU. 

Kemono Jihen

It’s an ayakashi manga and is pretty fun. And then the writer made Aya act adult and crush on Kabane. Big freaking NO. An entertaining read though, but there are some horrifying things happening in the later arcs, so read at your own discretion.

This Time I Will Definitely Be Happy

So yeah, sometimes I read shoujo. I started to read this because it seemed like a subversion. Reincarnated MC always falls in love with the hero and yet the hero runs off with another woman and she dies miserably. So this time she’s gonna live her own life! I had fun and then it turned the plot back on straight by making it so that the hero loved her the entire time and she was a priestess who was originally isekai’d from Japan. The ending is largely meh and cliche. I largely still think about the beginning though.

Endo and Kobayashi’s Live Commentary on the Villainess

I... Okay? Just the MCs revealing how much of a tsundere Liselotte is is fun, but it’s just alright. Fun read if you’re bored, once again.

Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Stock Isekai manga but with a cooking twist. I like it. It’s just MC, a giant wolf, and a slime baby going around eating good food. The giant wolf is your standard OP monster but he’s sticking with MC because GOD DAMN he cooks like a champ.

Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika nai Akuyaku Reijou ni Tensei shite shimatta...

Isekai shoujo version but I’m so fond of it because of how much of a dumbass MC is. Like at points it’s TOO much of a stretch of how idiotic she is, but it’s a jolly good time. And this is a harem series but all the girls love her too so I’m super forgiving. The drugstore candy bar that you love.

Somali to Mori no Kami-sama

Art is super beautiful and detailed. And how could you not love a series about a golem becoming a dad to a small tiny human daughter. I hear there’s an animu airing this year but I’ve been too lazy to check it out. Plus I dunno how limited budgets would affect the art.

Seijo no Maryoku wa Bannou Desu

Another standard isekai shoujo style (so many of these out there) but this time around MC just wants to live her life making potions. Good on her. This is a secret but sometimes my heart still goes a flutter for handsome men who are devoted. Huhu, that heart clogging granny’s old macaroni and cheese. Delicious but old.

Kono Sekai ga Game da to Ore dake ga Shitteiru

Isekai videogame version (PLEASE SO MANY OF THESE) but the unique aspect of it is that the videogame is glitchy as fuck and unforgiving. MC purposefully played a shitty game to the point of knowing most of the tips and tricks so when he gets shunted into it it’s hilarious how he went about it. Like step-cancels, abusing code-glitches, increasing skills by smashing his face inside the confessional, etc. Female characters are annoying and  one-note, but I appreciate the funny concept of being in a badly coded world.

Kami-sama no Ekohiiki

I... really enjoyed this? All gender-talk aside, I’m super sad that Torii’s love for Kagura (Yashiro) is unrequited, but at least she gets some hastily put together romance in the end. I really liked her. Kenta’s visit in the world where Yashiro doesn’t fall in love with him... right in the heart. 

Sorry For My Familiar

Small demon girl has a human as her familiar. Wacky hijinks ensue. It’s hilarious and light-hearted so read if you want to have a good time. I like me some good ol’ comedy.

Senyuu.

I’m like... going back and forth on reading this. On the one hand, I live for RPG parodies and dumb hijinks. On the other hand, FUCK THAT PEDOPHILE GRANDPA INTO THE DEEPEST PORTION OF HELL AND BACK. So many stupid loli jokes and yet I come back because Alba and Ros and literally everyone else. I dunno. I hear shit gets real, but hnngh. I guess this hinges on how much you can ignore the parts you hate.

I’m sure there are others but these are the ones that showed up in my reading history. Hope you enjoyed me rambling with no substance. Also really shows how much bad taste I have. ;-9

[SCREAMING INTO THE VOID] BANGER OF A SCENE, BANGER OF A SCENE, BANGER OF A SCENE

Fuuuuuuuck, this entire scene was PHENOMENAL. The (music) strings building up towards higher and higher notes to create a sense of urgency and anxiety, the banners swaying and causing the wires/beam to groan ominously, Maomao's out of touch thoughts (thinking about getting a nice hot bat or getting her face treated by Gaoshun once this is all over), the way the camera was rotating on that shot of Maomao running towards Jinshi to add to the feeling of being off balance, and that last second Jinshi facedrop for extra dramatic flair a second before it all goes to shit.

GOD. The way Maomao's 'can I have the ox bezoar' is so in line for her and yet so out of line for the situation, considering Jinshi (and she, by the way) almost got crushed to death. The way she says it so quietly, sounding so resigned... it's one of the first times (if not the first time) we've heard her sound so vulnerable, and it's so jarring considering how headstrong she's been so far, how not even 10 minutes ago she was losing her mind out of excitement for the ox bezoar...

And Jinshi's wavering voice! His obvious shocked and worried sharp intakes of air! The gentle way he cradles Maomao's face and the worried look on his face!

The way their first priority isn't their own safety or their own injuries, but the other's.

Phenomenal. I have no words. This is one of the scenes I think every LN/manga reader was looking forward to, the slow and careful build up of all those seemingly random accidents this cour. The anime delivered beyond expectations!

WOW, that mood change was sharp. With just a single shot, you can tell how annoyed and displeased Maomao is at Jinshi's question, but she seems a bit sad too (if we go by the way her brows turn up).

I enjoy the call back to Maomao's flower analogy from the start of KnH: both the pleasure district and the rear court are places filled with beautiful flowers (women), meant to be admired and ogled, enjoyed only for their beauty. But once plucked (not virgin anymore), then suddenly, all her worth is gone.

The cinematography in this scene is great, but I love the focus/attention on the sound work: the way the background music ends seconds before Jinshi asks the famous question or before Maomao gives the final answer, the rustle of fabric as she splays her hand on her stomach... They all add to the anticipation, the tension in this scene (what is Jinshi going to ask? What is going to be Maomao's answer?) while also creating a feeling of dread and of impending doom, as it's quite rare to find moments of pure silence in anime, devoid of music or background noise.

It gives their words more punch and makes the impact of Maomao's answer hit even harder.

The Apothecary Diaries Ep 1-3 | Review & Novel Extras

An analysis about the first 3 episodes of The Apothecary Diaries, made by The Chattering Magpi.

She also did an excellent analysis about love relationships in another of my favorite series, Ascendance of a Bookworm. That's why I dare to include her analysis of The Apothecary Diaries here.