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eyeles-writing · 2 years

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Otters Are An Endangered Species

| read also on ao3

⭐︎Word Count: 3328⭐︎

⭐︎Pairings: Hatake Kakashi/ Might Guy/Umino Iruka, Nohara Rin/Uchiha Obito⭐︎

⭐︎Content: Found family, confrontations, and some domestic fluff.⭐︎

⭐︎Description: There's something up with Kakashi, Rin, Obito, Guy, and Iruka. They're a little too close for Minato's understanding, and the man is more than determined to figure out what exactly is going on.

This post is made for Team Minato Week 2022 (@teamminatoweek) and follows Day 4′s prompt of queerplatonic relationships. Thank you so much to the people behind Team Minato Week 2022 for organizing this!! I hope you all enjoy <3

Otters are an endangered species.

Sea otters, despite being community animals, spend a large part of their days alone - they forage for food alone, they plunge under the water alone, and they escape predators alone.

Shinobi, similarly, are an endangered species.

From the moment a ninja enters the academy, they are presented with nothing but the cold truth: At any given moment, you must be prepared to die for your village. In the event of a natural disaster, you need to bring children to safety and shield civilians from falling chunks of volcanic ash. During an attack on the village, you take aim and fight. You put yourself between your people and the enemy - you die for your village, or you live to be a traitor.

Sea otters gather into groups together during the evening to rest. Scientists aren’t exactly sure why this happens - is it because it’s easier to spot predators when they’re together? Do they groom each other and provide aid to one another in dire situations?

The sea otters are just lonely, perhaps.

The sea otters gather because they spend 12 hours of their day in constant vigilance, never taking their eyes off the enemy. The animal dives into the water and drags itself along the ocean floor, eyes darting across the sand in hunt of its next meal. It finds a clam, or an octopus, or a snail, and it wastes no time. The otter aims, takes its shot, and fires - whether or not that otter gets a meal is completely dependent on its ability to hunt. To kill.

When the battle ends, the shinobi often don’t have homes to return to. Sure, they have leased apartments and estates and campsites to rest at, but there is no home involved. There’s no meal cooked with love, with appreciation. They don’t come home to a warm smile and a house decorated with years of memories. Oftentimes, a shinobi enters their home to a weary smile and a “thank god, you’re alive.”

The shinobi gets lonely.

At night, the shinobi gather at Ichiraku Ramen. After a rigorous battle, another day of convulsing and meaningless brawls, the ninja gather in the one spot where they feel a community has grown. They share sad smiles together and rarely discuss their missions - not because of confidentiality, but because the last thing they want to remind themselves of is the horror that they witnessed mere hours before.

Ichiraku Ramen is one of few locations where a group of shinobi can call home. There are no shaky breaths and teary-eyed children. Packed bags don’t lay at their feet with a heartbroken soulmate at the door when a shinobi is at Ichiraku Ramen. There is no fighting, no bloodshed, and no tears.

There is, however, a home.

The warm meal is pleasant after a long mission containing only food pills and malnourishment. Surviving on the bare minimum for a week, only to come home to a giant bowl of the most delicious ramen you could imagine, is one of the few horrendous joys in a ninja’s life. There’s nothing like it.

Minato Namikaze first suspected something when he found his students, accompanied by a variety of classmates, sitting on the concrete outside of Ichiraku Ramen for the fourth night in a row.

“We’re just hanging out,” Kakashi had said, “there’s nothing weird about it.”

“Yeah, don’t go makin’ it weird, Minato-Sensei!” Obito interrupted, pointing at his teacher in a huff. His goggles, as they always did, slipped off his head during his movement and fell to the floor. They’d been well-worn over the years and no longer stretched to fit Obito’s head, a sign of the boy’s aging.

“I’m not making anything weird,” Minato laughed, “I just don’t get what’s going on with you all lately.”

“A couple friends hanging out is nothing weird,” Iruka butted in. He glanced over at Kakashi and Might Guy, who were leaning on each other against the building behind them. He used his foot to playfully tap his friends feet.

“Ah, maybe I’m just getting old, then.” Minato smiled at the children - who couldn’t even be called children anymore, having come of age and were no longer under the teachings of their former superior. Well, if Minato wasn’t Hokage, that is.

When Minato had left, the group had burst into laughter.

“Minato-Sensei is totally going to freak out once he knows!” Rin giggled, leaning into her boyfriend’s shoulder as Minato had turned the corner a few blocks down. Obito smiled and leaned into her, still finding the sensation to be hauntingly calming even after dating for three years now.

“You think so?” Guy questioned. Kakashi shrugged, and Obito nodded enthusiastically.

“Minato-Sensei freaked out when he found out that Rin and I were dating, remember?” He said.

Minato had launched into a major lecture about dating while being a shinobi - Rin interjected to remind Minato about his very relevant wife that he started dating during his Junin years. He continued on and made the two lovers promise that they would use “an appropriate amount of protection and preventative measures” during any time of intimacy. The lecture lasted a total of 47 minutes and, in summary, one of the most awkward experiences of Obito’s life.

Rin remembers the look on Minato's face after she had told him that they dated for six months before telling him. The look of betrayal, surprise, and confusion fighting for dominance on his face was nothing short of hilarious. “Let’s pray that kid of yours doesn’t inherit your aloofness!” Rin laughed, brought to tears in amusement.

Kakashi scoffed. “He only freaked out because he thought you were going to get pregnant and end up with a baby at 17.”

The group laughed, and the night continued on. They stayed there until the shop had finally closed, and then they all parted ways - Kakashi, Guy, and Iruka went to do some late-night grocery shopping together, while Obito and Rin headed back to their shared apartment space for the evening.

Two weeks later, Minato spotted his favorite youths laying in the grass together at the training grounds. He was doing his morning walk around the village and spotted the familiar strikingly-silver hair peeking up out of the grass. He instantly headed over to find Obito, Rin, Kakashi, Guy, and Iruka in the most interesting pile he’d ever seen.

Kakashi was laying in the grass with his arms behind his head with his entire lower body covered by the body of Might Guy. His body stretched across Kakashi and Iruka, who was laying parallel to the ninja. Guy’s face was buried in his right arm, while his left gently clasped Iruka’s own right hand. About two feet to Kakashi’s right laid Obito, who was laying on his spread jacket and had his left arm over his face, shielding his eyes from the incoming sunlight. Rin was at his side, taking up the majority of the jacket space, with her face buried in the side of her boyfriend. Obito was making a gentle snoring sound, while Guy made a noise that could only be described as sixteen motorcycles exploding in weird intervals. His snoring was loud, obnoxious, and somehow being slept through by all 4 of his companions.

“You lot sure look busy,” Minato said. Obito snorted awake, which disturbed Rin and caused her to groan as she shifted away from him. Kakashi simply shrugged and responded as if he was expecting his ex-teacher to show up.

“We just trained for three hours, we’re taking a nap break to regain energy.”

Minato scoffed. “Is there a reason that you all had to nap on each other?”

Guy rolled over, groaned, and gave Minato a thumbs up. “A teammate who sleeps alone is a teammate who is destined to a life of solitude and sadness! Group napping activities not only increase team bonding and motivation, but it also provides an assurance of safety in case of an oncoming threat!”

A smile formed on Minatos face, glad to see that Guy’s mood had, as always, not been dampered.

“We were just getting to sleep,” Rin complained, “I wish you didn’t interrupt us like that!”

Obito yawned and sat up. A rush of dizziness caused him to hold his head in his hands for a moment as he craved stability. “Yeah,” he said, “I was just getting to the good part in my dream!”

Kakashi scoffed faintly as he sat up to match Obito. “What, were you and Rin finally trying out that position-”

“ANYWAY,” Iruka cut in, “thank you for waking us, Lord Fourth. It was about time we got back to training, anway.”

The man hummed in confusion and parted ways with the group, grumbling to himself about how they were most certainly up to something.

Minato had spent the rest of the day digging into the lives of his former students and their associates - he looked through school records, family records, social media posts, and even their taxes to figure out what exactly those kids were up to. It was when he found a lease agreement for all five of them that he pieced it together.

“Can you just tell us already?” Kakashi asked. He quickly became tired of the game that Minato was playing - the man was determined for the kids to tell him up front, but they all knew much better than that.

Kakashi had years of training in the ANBU. He was out now, sure, but the ideals drilled into him surely never left. There was no way he was going to break.

Rin was one of the strongest ninja in the group - she had plenty of experience in interrogation and knew exactly what strategy Minato was using. She was going in the direction of being a medical ninja for the interrogative teams, it was no surprise that she was not the first to break.

Might Guy was, admittedly, a weak person. He didn’t enjoy lying to people, and he believed that friendship and teamwork was the key to winning any fight. The fight between his heart and mind, however, proved difficult the moment that he started sweating bullets after Minato confronted the group. However, Guy was also physically strong - he bit his lip during the entire discussion so he would be in far too much pain to speak, therefore destroying his ability to break.

Iruka was indifferent. He never took any active steps to hide the truth from Minato, or anyone for that matter - he lived his life the way he wanted to and, in any moment of confrontation, was usually the one to rip off the bandaid and call it good. Iruka had taken a glance at his companions, however, and saw the look of determination on their faces. He saw the blood pooling on the bottom of Guy’s lip and decided that he, too, would play the game. Iruka was not the one to break.

Obito Uchiha was a stellar ninja. After he developed his Sharingan, he learned indispensable information that trained him in becoming a better and more determined ninja. He stopped skipping class and began showing up early to his team meetings - he was motivated this time. He studied for hours to better his skills as a ninja, determined to one day become the village leader.

During those many hours of study contained no lessons on secrecy, unfortunately.

Obito broke thirty minutes into the confrontation.

Minato stared at the group and had been silent for twelve minutes at that point.

“I know that you are all hiding something from me, and I just want you to admit it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sensei.” Rin smiled innocently, an irritated twitch at her lip telling Minato that he was beginning to break her down. He smiled to himself.

His eyes turned to Obito, who was still sweating bullets. The boy hating lying and disappointing his sensei more than he wanted to keep a secret, it seemed. Minato took a step toward the ninja and leaned down to look at him at an equal level.

“Obito, if you tell me what it is, I won’t be mad.”

Kakashi had glanced to his left and saw the tears watering in Obitos eyes, desperate for a release. Quickly, Kakashi reached across Rin to push his hand over his teammates mouth.

“Obito, no-!” Kakashi cried out, but it was too late - Minato had seen Kakashi’s movement coming, and preemptively stuck his arm out to block it.

“ME AND RIN AND KAKASHI AND IRUKA AND GUY ALL GOT AN APARTMENT TOGETHER AND WE LIVE TOGETHER AND WE DIDN’T WANT TO TELL YOU BECAUSE WE THOUGHT YOU’D BE MAD-”

The group bursted into a series of groans at Obito’s confession, certainly disappointed that he broke after a mere thirty minutes.

Minato stood with his hands on his hips and smiled in satisfaction. “You admit it!” He exclaimed, and Guy instantly leapt to the floor to beg.

“Please forgive me,” Guy cried, “I didn’t want to hide the truth from you, but I-”

“I’m not mad!” Minato said, and both Guy and Obito went quiet. Rin furrowed her brow in confusion.

“You’re not…?” She asked, and Minato shrugged.

“You’re just living together! Look, I’ve grown up too, you know?” He flashed his de facto children a confident smile. “I get that you guys can’t stay kids forever. I trust you to make good decisions, okay?”

Iruka smirked. “Does this mean you’re okay with me and Guy dating Kakashi?” He asked, as if to poke the proverbial bear with a proverbial stick.

Minato’s eyes went wide, and he felt his heart drop into his stomach.

The next forty five minutes was spent in the Hokage’s office as the group struggled to stop Minato from pacing in circles around the room. He mumbled to himself before stopping to exclaim words at the group, only to then return to muttering in circles. Rin dragged him out of the pattern and had to yell at him in order to push him out of his thoughts.

“MINATO-SENSEI!” She yelled, and he stopped in his tracks. “Calm down!”

“How can I be calm?!” He asked. “Three of my students are dating and nobody bothered to tell me!”

“HEY,” Obito interjected, “I’d like to clarify that I am NOT dating Kakashi!”

“Yeah, it’s just a queerplatonic relationship.” Kakashi shrugged and watched as the look of confusion on Minato’s face only contort further.

“A- a h-wha?” He stuttered.

“A queerplatonic relationship,” Iruka repeated Kakashi’s words. “It’s when two or more people share an intimate relationship further than what most would consider friendship.”

“Like… Like leasing an apartment together?” Minato asked, puzzled. Guy nodded enthusiastically.

“EXACTLY!” He exclaimed. “Look at you, Lord Fourth! You learn something new every day, huh?”

“We’re basically all married to each other, to put simply,” Kakashi said. “In a way that isn’t romantic or sexual in nature.”

Minato contorted his face further. “Wait, so you’re getting married?”

Everyone in the room sighed.

It took another forty five minutes to explain to Minato what exactly a queerplatonic relationship was - he struggled to comprehend a level of intimacy beyond platonic and romantic, and every sentence spoken was accompanied by a series of questions from the man that lead to a rabbit-hole of discussion. Eventually, though, the group had decided that Minato had a basic enough understanding of a queerplatonic relationship to move on for the evening.

Minato had excused the five, but paused right before they were about to exit the office.

“I have just one more question for you,” he said, and each person looked back. He wore a small smile on his face and his voice was far softer than normal.

“I know it’s been years since I’ve been in charge of you all,” his eyes glanced over to his former students, who were looking at him with patient eyes, “and I want to thank you for letting me in on this. Even if it was… unintended.”

“What’s your question?” Rin asked, hands clasped and resting on her chest.

“When did this all… happen?”

The group glanced at each other. Kakashi made eye contact with Iruka and Guy, who were smiling fondly at a distant memory.

It was just after Guy had become a Jonin, Iruka remembered. He watched the two rivals argue in the distance over something trivial - likely fighting over who was in the lead for their little matches, or which one of them was going to pick the next challenge. Iruka leaned against the brick academy wall and sighed distantly, which caught the eye of Kakashi.

Kakashi glanced over at the glare in his vision - it turned out to be the headband of one of his best friends, Iruka. He beckoned the boy over and smiled at him gently, drowning out the still-arguing-Guy in the background.

“Do you guys want to go on a date with me?” Iruka blurted out, a blush creeping onto his face, and both Kakashi and Guy paused.

Minato watched as Rin and Obito glanced over at the three standing across from them in the doorway. Rin smiled fondly at the memory in her head, while Obito watched the sparkle in her eye.

A year ago, Rin and Obito had stumbled upon Kakashi laying in the grass with his two boyfriends - Iruka and Guy. What began as a midday nap turned into an evening of conversation that eventually molded into a discussion about the future.

“I dunno,” Rin sighed as she looked toward the sky, a setting sun in the distance casting a ray of purple across the clouds. “I’ve always envisioned myself living in like, a community, instead of just my husband.” Her grip on Obito’s hand tightened. “Like, with friends and family, you know?”

“That sounds like a queerplatonic relationship,” Iruka said, and Kakashi nodded. Obito hummed. A minute of silence followed as everyone let the words settle in. Queerplatonic.

“Well, aren’t we all kinda in one of those anyway?” Obito asked, puzzled.

Everyone, silently, thought about it for a moment.

“...Yeah,” Kakashi stated plainly after a few seconds of silence. “I think we are.”

“It’s true, we do everything together,” Guy agreed. Iruka nodded.

“And we were just talking about buying a farm together in the future,” Rin giggled. She looked over at Obito, who was giving her a goofy smile. She tilted her head at him, as if to say “Well? What do you think?”

“I mean, as long as I don’t lose you to that stuck-up loser, I guess I couldn’t care less what you call it!” He decided, throwing his arm around his girlfriend. Rin laughed and felt herself melt into his arm, heart fluttering in content as she realized what had just happened.

Minato felt a full-fledged grin come to his lips as he realized that all of his kids were now reliving the memory of their first realization.

“Nevermind,” He smiled, “save it for your wedding!”

Obito blushed, and Rin giggled.

“We’ll see you later then, Minato-Sensei!” She smiled, and Minato nodded.

“Goodnight everyone, get home safe, alright?”

The group slowly exited the room until only Kakashi and Minato remained. He turned to his former teacher for just a second. “Goodnight, Sensei,” he said. Minato smiled.

“Goodnight, Kakashi.”

Otters are an endangered species.

Sea otters, despite being community animals, spend a large part of their days alone - they forage for food alone, they plunge under the water alone, and they escape predators alone.

The sea otters are just lonely, perhaps.

Shinobi are a recovering species.

These ninja spend a large portion of their day either on the battlefield or in isolation - when they return from a days work of injury and hardship, though, they’re confronted with comrades. They find themselves lost in allyship and appreciation. An unbreakable bond is formed, and the ninja in question finds themselves spending more time ordering ramen at Ichiraku than dreading their next mission.

The shinobi will be okay.

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