Just watched Chapter 14 of Legion. Amy was an underdeveloped character who was completely forgotten about until mid way through the season (to the extent I at one point thought they had actually literally forgotten about her) and as a result her death in Chapter 13 lacks the emotional punch it could have had; it's devastating to see David's reaction to the loss, but we don't see enough of Amy to fully feel her loss ourselves.

Chapter 14 is clearly an attempt to rectify this - with David trying a failing to create an alternate version of reality where things for Amy and him are better (which is not at all clear, I only know this is the case because I read a recap after, watching it I thought it was just a peek the multiverse as a random framing device). We still largely see Amy as how she related to David and don't really learn more about who she was as a person outside of theur relationship. However, the thread that does run through all the different versions of her we see (bar the version in the millionaire David universe) is the love she has for her brother and how she will do all she can to try and care for him. Is it a bit of a gimmick to try paper over the problem of our lack of connection to Amy rather than fixing it? Yes. Did it still absolutely get me emotionally and cause me to cry? Also, yes. Not least because of Katie Asselton's excellent performance. Say what you will about Legion, the acting is all round phenomenal. I don't think I've watched a show before where I've ended up googling the actors because I want to see more of them.

On a different note - knowing now these are alternate realities created by David, I have so many questions about the reality where he's almost attacked by droogs. Does A Clockwork Orange exist in the Legion universe and if so is David a fan? Was that reality a self insert fan fiction? If it doesn't exist does this mean David is the author of it in the universe of the show. I know it is a fun homage and reference not meant to be analysed and that's how I took it when I thought it was a standard multiverse scenario. But David creates these realities and that casts the reference in a very different light (I'm not criticising btw, I think more multiverse media should throw random homages to creators favourite films in there)

hey guys,, who wants to see this new dsmp au i've thought up of instead of working on my other countless, already existing aus.

still trying to come up with a proper name for it,,, right now the working title is shattered reflections...? buuuut i'm not too content with that yet.

the basic plot is, via ~wacky shenanigans~,, ranboo, tommy, and tubbo,, all from different universes,, end up getting misplaced together in the multiverse or something like that, and now have to hop from dimension to dimension, trying to find their way back to their respective homes(and maybe they'll find that the real home was the friends they made along the way).

still need to iron out a few kinks(how did this start, how do they travel, how does it end, etc etc),, but like. it's been rotting in my brain ever since the idea first came to my head, so i figured i might as well share it here? in case anyone else's interested,, dkdnsksms.

ranboo's from a magical girl-like au!!! why? mostly because i thought the idea was fun,, ekenkssjks. tried my best to emulate an anime style into the design, 'm hoping it came across? i've been imagining, if this au were animated like spiderverse,, they'd look a lot like how peni parker was animated,, dkdmskdm. you'll never guess what his magical girl form is themed on /lh.

tommy, as you can prolly tell, is from a royalty au! youngest prince of the antarctic empire,,, design is slightly based on some fanart i saw on reddit, by someone called em0kii, i believe? i say slightly because i only thought to search up "antarctic empire fanart" for inspo after i was done with the lineart,, and by that time it was too late for me to change it to something that better fit the cold environment the kingdom's based on(and by too late i mostly mean i was lazy),,, dkdjskj. still, though, i'm pretty happy with it!

and then there's tubbo! he's from a post-apocalyptic au B]. not one with zombies,, but... idk, maybe something exploded? haven't thought too hard about the cause, but just know that his world is in a not good shape. i'm sure it's fine tho. my main thoughts when drawing him were to make him less colorful and saturated than the other two,, since his universe is a bit darker than theirs,,,, and to make him look a little intimidating(big coat, goggles, scarf, lots of sharp edges, plaid). after all, if you're a 5' something teen in the apocalypse, living all on your own– you wanna try and make yourself look as big as possible to try and ward off as many threats as you can. and if that doesn't work, you can always just hit 'em with a bat.

bonus doodle under the cut:

tfw you wake up in the middle of a forest, with no memory of getting there, with two weirdly dressed strangers right there beside you. like. what the fuck.

you didn't hear it from me, but jacob anderson created a new spotify playlist titled EUROPE and has been adding songs to it for the last month 👀

we already know that he uses music to get into Louis' mindset in his trailer during filming (he shared the LDPDL playlist a while back with this explanation) so one can only assume that things are brewing...

lmao not to be an arse but i just read one of my own fics and this bitch is onto something she’s not too shabby

Wonder what I should specifically draw to go about testing my lining brush. I need to make some kind of drawing to finish that's easy before I go tackling my bigger pieces again.

🤔 hmmmm Yall got suggestions?

the thing about abusive and manipulative people is they that will be able to explain their actions and they will sound convincing and they will be genuine about what they say. We demonize these people so much until they fit into a category of evil monsters that are obvious to the naked eye and hold nothing but malice behind their actions. The truth is that they’re just people. Normal people who have failed in their ability to be honest with themselves about anything they do and possess an ability to reframe every event into something that suits how they want to interpret it. And you’re going to fall for it. Someone you love will tell you they didn’t mean something hurtful they said, didn’t you know they clearly meant it in another way? And they mean it, not because they didn’t mean it when they said it, but because they don’t mean it now, after they’ve realized it was a bad thing to say. And they can’t bear the possibility of saying something cruel like that, so they reframe it in their own memories and experiences as a joke, something they didn’t mean. If you had never told them your feelings were hurt, they’d’ve never apologized or realized that what they said was wrong. And that’s a pattern that will continue and only worsen. So many people ask why someone abusive in their life can’t just…admit to mistreating and undervaluing them instead of carrying the charade on, because it makes it so much harder to end things. And it’s because to them they haven’t mistreated or undervalued you. They can’t face a world where they are the bad guy or where they have to improve upon themselves, so they won’t. Or, on the flipside, they’ll switch back and forth between being awful and cheerful or crying and begging and pleading you to stay because they know how awful they are and they’ll treat you right this time they promise. And they mean that! They know what they are. It sticks in their stomach and turns to a pain in their heart. But once they’ve achieved their goal for immediate comfort, once you agree to stay, they don’t have a reason to keep themselves in that discomfort. Why would they want to be continually reminded of how awful they are? It’s painful. They don’t want to go through life like that. So they forget. They go back to normal. They have you again, they don’t need to face that side of themselves anymore. And they won’t see any issues with that. They are capable of reframing every event and action in their head into something that suits them and I don’t mean that in a gimmicky way I mean that they will be able to explain to you in perfect clarity why they truly love you despite their mistreatment and why their feelings of pain and discomfort are more important than how you feel about how they mistreated you. And it will be convincing. You will question yourself because they seem so sure of themselves and they seem to genuinely believe it. And it will lead you down the wrong path. These people frequently stand against abuse and repost ideas you agree with that make you feel safe. And they will mean it. And years later you will ask yourself why they supported such causes and things when they were clearly abusive themselves, and you’ll fail to realize that they saw themselves as a normal good guy the whole time. Just like we all do.

The right person will tell you when they’ve done wrong. The right person will be able to give you space to heal and do the *right* things to help you heal from any pain they cause, not love bomb you until it’s forgotten. I don’t know this wasn’t very coherent but I just wanted to say that abusers and manipulator are so good at it because they aren’t trying to do so and they don’t believe themselves to be doing so. Don’t fall for moral high ground bullshit, it only makes you easier to fall for bad situations.

im starting sunday streams back up .... i think

tomorrow afternoon, im thinking maybe 2-5pm est? a shorter one to get back into things? idk if people will be around but, yeah, i think MAYBE itll be art... and i also wanna show you guys my minecraft house ive been working on? i have lots of fear in my widdle heart <3 but im going to... persist?

In case you were wondering, this is why I haven't been writing

Everyday I look up Simon Belmont on the same like three social medias and find no new fanart or discussion posts of him, so I guess I gotta do everything myself then huh—

Not me with 11,000 words of Mary and Matthew from Downton Abbey that I wrote mostly in the last two weeks...I don't know why they've decided to move back into my brain, but they have. I'm still working on Together too, I promise.

Very curious about gridslut au!

Gridslut!au is a joke that got out of hand so bad slkjdsglj

So we all know how Seb has the tendency to flirt with everyone, right? And how Charles looks so good when he's suffering? What better way to combine those two facts than in a plot where Seb fucks everyone except for Charles. Stop laughing this has taken up months of my life and tens of thousands of words so far

You see, one of the things about Sebchal for me is that Charles is the first one Seb really wants to settle down with, and it scares him. Him trying to deal with that while Charles is just trying to be happy with what he does get from Seb is a recurring theme in so many of my fics because it's a particularly pervasive headcanon and this is just another excuse to indulge in my own insanity while I also practice writing some other ships in case I need it.

But that's not all. No, no, not at all.

Because it became very clear to me even as I was outlining this monstrosity, that it would have to start at the beginning. This story would have to grow with them to really round it out. It would have to be a showcase of their history, how they've grown right in front of my salad, exactly pinpoint how and why they drive me crazy even after all these fucking years and at this point, it's pretty much my love letter to the ship.

What I'm saying is that this will either be my magnum opus or I will have to quit writing after pouring my heart and rat soul into this for the last seven months slkjdsglkj

Does this sound pretentious? Yes. Does it sound insane? Probably. What does Seb fucking everyone have to do with anything? Look we do not question the plot bunnies, we just watch him bat his eyelashes prettily while Charles sulks because Seb doesn't see him since he's too deep in a conversation. (real crumb, btw, it was hilarious, especially how Charles just lit the fuck up when Seb did finally notice him)

Anyway since I really want to get this out, I've set myself the deadline of putting the first chapter online on 16/05. Pray for me that I actually make it. Little snippet under the cut because after all these ramblings, I might as well show a little of it. Sorry for the monologue anon, this fic has taken over my life at this point xD

Charles isn’t exactly paying attention, but now that he knows, it’s clear to see. He didn’t even want to believe it at first, but now that Pierre has shared the stories… It’s hard to not notice, anymore.

When he watches Sebastian on the podium in Monaco, celebrating a deserved win, Charles is only a little star-struck. But he notices Ricciardo looking at him, the too-familiar touches. It feels almost like foreplay.

Charles can’t help but imagine himself in that position, in a few years hopefully. Would he get to be desired like that? Could he maybe want to have something like that?

He very carefully doesn’t think about Sebastian specifically. He’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

He just wishes Pierre hadn’t told him about Sebastian being a slut, as it had been so eloquently put. One day, he hoped to be teammates with the guy. This was not helping.

Still, he watches the ceremony. Daydreams a little about maybe being in Räikkönen’s place, or even in Sebastian’s place, the German next to him.

One day, he’d get there.

Just some angsty thoughts down below, don’t mind me. just got officially diagnosed with ADHD and havin’ some thots that I can’t seem to articulate to anyone in my life but I guess my tumblr friends can be in on the secret

I just got diagnosed with ADHD officially. I guess. I don’t know, I filled out a couple of questionnaire packets that felt VERY targeted (one question asked if i was bad at sports as a child which like, yes, but also rude, and how is this relevant). i dunno, I guess i thought i’d feel validated, once I got an official diagnosis. That maybe something would change, that I’d find some medication and suddenly I’d become Normal. Mostly I just feel... tired. I feel like I’ve just finally got some other people to agree that yes, I guess your house really is on fire, so they parked a fire truck outside my house, handed me the keys, then took off. like, I know what would help. I know sleeping and eating right and exercise would help. But i feel like i need help to get help... if that makes sense. I don’t feel any better after having being diagnosed. I don’t feel any less lazy, or like a failure. I have ADHD, the ‘I can’t finish things disease’ or ‘I can’t sit still and boredom feels like physical pain’. Like, these are just explanations for things, like why I dropped out of college, like why I can’t remember to get my car reregistered, why my closet consistently looks like it’s just been the victim of an extremely localized tornado. But I don’t have any solutions to these things. All I have is explanations. and it’s really frustrating. Eating good would be massively beneficial to me. I can’t fucking cook. I mean I can. but it takes a long time and I make such a mess, and the outcome is like, sixty forty on wether or not it’s even worth all the effort. Living in a clean house would help with my anxiety. Read above line. i am a walking tornado. 

anyway that’s all. i probably will delete this post later. I just... feel disappointed i suppose. not even really disappointed, because that’s almost too strong of a word. mostly I just wanted to know if anyone else out there with adhd felt the same way

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i want the scene between soren and zubeia after she's wounded back at the storm spire giffed so bad. mostly cuz i wanna make that my mobile header but also cuz that scene was just so cute and i love their friendship/dynamic a lot 🥺

Tbh among the funniest recent moves on Tumblr's part is the ability to purchase a domain name from them. While they do everything in their power to obscure desktop blog view.

Seems like a real smart decision, to offer the purchase of something that no one can actually access except via external link or manually entering the URL.

gotta be the funniest thing having p.mdd as a trans person. I've got double dysphoria baybeee. Brain can't take being this gender and neither can my hormones!!