Cheater! Jason version part 3

part 1

part 2

A/N: Not much "action" in this, but .....,

Also, once again, just in case, I remind you of a tagging policy

***

If it wasn’t for Dick that night, she would probably do something stupid. Like, really stupid, with capital s. For example, sink into depression and cry her heart out while watching sad movies and eating ice cream on her couch. Instead, the oldest Wayne offered her a shelter. A safe haven where she could break without any risk of being alone and getting herself down. He was such a good friend for her and honestly she could not even begin to imagine her life without him in it.

Golden boy truly was the term to describe him.

It was him that hugged her for hours, comforting her and eventually forced her to take a shower and put her to bed letting her sleep without interruptions. And on top of that he took her phone so neither Kyle not Jason would bombard her with messages, disturbing her peace. Instead he just kept on ignoring them, disconnecting the incoming calls and texts that were intensifying with every passing minute.

To put it simple, Y/N was disappointed in herself. She honestly had no idea who she was becoming and where all her rules went. She always thought herself to be the strong girl, who wouldn’t fall a stupid ass of a man and kick his ass the second he treated her unfairly or cruelly. And if cheating does not qualify into that, then what does? But instead, she just let Jason vamp her and … well, use her, no matter what he had to say about it.

And on the other side, there was Kyle. Clearly interested in her, there was no denying, but still an ass in so many aspects.  

He showed up on Grayson’s doorstep first thing the next morning, banging on the door, demanding explanations of what happened and waking Dick up and the Wayne was less than happy about that sudden disturbance. He had his own opinion on Kyle, but his instincts were telling him that no matter what, the lantern was not the one to ever hurt Y/N on purpose like his brother did. So, being chatty and only having her best interest at heart, gave him some vague information on the matter, asking Kyle to give her a few days to get back to mental health and to gather herself. And Rayner listened. Good thing, Dick didn’t tell him the whole truth, cause that would probably end with a bloodbath.

“Who was that?” her sleepy voice came from behind his back and he spun around only to notice his pale friend rubbing her reddened eyes and yawning.

“No one” he smiled at her “breakfast?”

***

„You are gonna go crazy thinking about him.”

“I am not thinking about him!”

“Sure not.” Stephanie took a sip of her drink, loudly, purposefully slurping through the straw to make Y/N angry.

“could you please stop that? You know I hate that sound.”

“You know what you need?” Steph’s eyes focused on Y/N pale and tormented face. Poor girl was caught in a trap, overthinking about what happened a few days ago, when by some crazy accident she and Jason met in that freaking diner and ….… well…..

Even the memory made her shiver. She just wasn’t sure if it was because of how good it was being with him again or because she hated herself for giving in so easily. He fucking cheated on her! But his hands and lips on her, caressing, touching in all the right places, so good, so perfect, turning her hot and needy and whiny, wanting him closer, faster, rougher, all of him… The way he was moving inside her, pleasuring her, not caring about who might be watching. No one before him has even made her feel so good and satisfy her so completely.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

She literally felt like tearing her hair out.

She didn’t want him back.

She wanted him back.

Honestly, she had no idea what she wanted, getting confused and back into that spiral of hating herself cause of breaking her own rules.

 3 years of being together and he just went and destroyed it so carelessly. What if no one would ever love her again? What if he was the one? But could he be the one if he betrayed her like this? She really though she was over him, but apparently all that pain and fear and broken heart was just capably covered up by her brave face for the past months.

“Please, enlighten me” she hissed towards her friend, forcing her mind to focus on anything else than flashback of Jason’s muscles flexing under her soft touches when he was trapping her between the wall and his body, holding so close and getting her high. She was slipping. She was not strong. And yet, she was ignoring him, not falling into the circle of his apologies, promises and excuses. But ignoring his texts and calls couldn’t really work for long since he knew where she was living. And that’s why she was staying at the manor for the time being.

 “You need a rebound, sugar.”

“A rebound?” Y/N raised an eyebrow “Really, Steph? And what could possibly be that?”

“Who.” The blonde corrected, eyes absolutely innocent, but the smirk forming on her face far from that.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Who could be the rebound. A person, Y/N. A male to be precise. Someone to help you get your mind off your failure of an ex-boyfriend.”

“Ok, fine, I’ll bite. Who?” Y/N spun around, put her hands on her hips in a power pose and faced her friend.

“Kyle, obviously.” Stephanie shrugged casually

“Are you insane? Kyle? The green lantern? The space cop?”

“He likes you. Bet he’ll be more than happy to help you.”

“Wait, he likes me? Girl, we are constantly bickering and arguing!”

“Seems like he’s your type than.”

“Ohmygod, you are crazy. I’m not going to sleep with Kyle!”

“do you have any other prospects? I mean, a stranger can be good for a one night stand too…..”

“STEPH! I am not going to hook up with anyone!”

“Whatever you say.” The blonde shrugged “But let’s go party tonight? Please? We can take Cass and Babs with us. Girls night out? It’s gonna be fun.”

“That I can do.” Y/N smiled lightly. She could use some good music, dancing and company of people who were standing by her no matter what.

“But you are not wearing pants!” Steph laughed and rushed out the door to steal all of Y/N’s trousers and prevent her from picking that outfit for a party.

***  

Stephanie was good. After all she became Robin and then Spolier for something. Therefore, she skillfully and stealthy managed to retrieve what she wanted and left Y/N no choice but to actually wear a freaking skirt. Nothing extravagant, short or revealing, but still, it felt weird. Y/N could not remember the last time she felt so naked with her legs not fully covered by the material. Let alone, sitting and moving so that her underwear wouldn’t be put on full display.

“I hate it….” She mumbled, awkwardly trying to stretch the skirt to make it at least a bit longer.

“Stop whining!” the blonde grinned at her friend “you’ll be thanking me when it comes to some action with …..”

“STEPHANIE BROWN!”

“What? I’m just saying!”

“Oh God, please, just stop, all right?” Y/N rubbed her forehead. She just couldn’t deal with Steph’s direct approach. Too direct “I just want to have some good time with my girls. And maybe get drunk in the process.”

“Drinks on me!” Babs’s voice reverberated from behind as she and Cass approached their two friends. “Ready for party?”

“Yes, please, anything to get me away from Brown…..”

“Oh, you talk almost like Damian, Y/N. But I promise you, you’re not gonna get far from me tonight!” Stephanie laughed and linked her arms with Y/N’s as four girls walked to the nearest club.

***

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom!” Y/N yelled trying to shout over the blasting music.

“You’re not going anywhere alone!” Babs screamed back at her. “I’m coming with you!”

“I’ll be fine, Barbara! It’s just the bathroom,  I’m not a toddler! Besides, someone need to keep an eye on our drinks, while Steph and Cass are having the time of their lives!” she pointed towards two girls moving wildly on the dance floor, completely indifferent to their surroundings. At least on the first glance, since after all they were vigilantes with heightened senses.  

“FINE!” Gordon relented under the pressure of logical arguments “but if you’re not back in five minutes…..”

“Are you serious!? It’s girl’s bathroom in the club! Standing in the queue will take half an hour!”

Barbara furrowed her eyebrows, opening mouth to say something, but Y/N ignored that completely, instead standing up and walking away with the brightest smile, forcing her friend to stay.

***

She  never made it to the bathroom.

It only took a few steps to bump into someone, and she instinctively muttered apologies, trying to pass the person, but a hand on her hips made her freeze.

“Hey there, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here.” Familiar voice spoke and only that characteristic tone made her look up.

“Kyle?”

“In person.” He flashed a smile, clearly feeling good. And looking good, as much as she hated to admit it. There weren’t many occasions when she could see him without his green lantern uniform, but this guy truly had a sense of style and wasn’t too flashy with that. Just jeans and T-shirt, but it was enough to bring out his best features and his toned figure. “Been a while since I saw you. How you’ve been?”

Y/N frowned, studying his every feature and body movement searching for the hidden agenda in his words. Side effect of being friends with Batkids, but that told her something was off in this entire situation. She just wasn’t sure what.

“Cut the crap, Rayner.”

“What crap?” he faked surprise and confusion and that made her change tactics, just for the hell of it.

“Sorry.” She muttered looking down again, glooming. “You’re right, I overreacted. Might be reading into signs that are not there ….. Sorry…..” she repeated, turning around and started walking away, but he quickly grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

“I missed you.” He confessed

“You what?!”

“I missed you. And I was worried. After Grayson told me what happened between you and Todd….”

“He told you!!??”

“Not much.” Kyle raised his hands in defensive gesture “just something about you getting hurt……”

“Since when are you two friends?!”

“Since when talking to someone make them friends?” he retorted

“Right…..” she bit on her lips. Nightwing or not, she was gonna kill Dick for babbling around. And to Kyle Rayner!

“Y/N.” he spoke uncharacteristically sweet “I’m not going to cause you any pain…..”

“What are you talking about?” she stuttered, suddenly forgetting about the urge to pee. This was not going in the way she planned. What the fuck was happening?

“I like you.” Kyle said, taking a step forward “I really do…..”

“No you don’t.” her eyes widened and she took a step back stumbling slightly but quickly regaining her balance. Why on earth was she always getting in trouble on the way to the freaking bathroom?!?! Barbara was right, she would never go to the restroom alone again in her entire life.

“Come on sunshine. Please, just give me a chance….”

“Is that why you are here? Were you following me or something like that?!”

“No.” he shook his head “it was Stephanie…..”

“Seems like I have two people to kill in the nearest future.”

“Don’t be mad at her. She’s just chatty. Just like Dick. I’m not asking for anything more than a chance to see where this goes. Not pushing anything. What do you say?”

She sighed deeply considering all the options. If anything wrong were to happen she was here with three vigilante girls. And she had some skills herself. Besides, what was the worst thing that could happen? She was young and fairly pretty and there was a handsome guy in front of her, practically begging her to take him for a test ride give him a turn.

“Oh, screw that!” she hissed to herself “fine, Rayner, I’ll let you prove yourself.”

“good choice, sunshine.” He grinned.

“Asshole…..”

“whatever you say, pretty.” That little nickname made her roll her eyes “come on, let’s have some fun.”

He took her hand and lead her onto the dancefloor, ready to show his moves to the upbeat song that was currently blasting through the speakers, but ironically, a few seconds after they entered, it changed into something way calmer and nostalgic. Like in freaking teenage rom-com.

“Too bad.” She mocked ready to sit down “I’m not slow dancing with you…..”

Before she could finish her sentence and form her every objection he grabbed her waist, pulling her close, the tight embrace preventing her from any struggle. At first, it took her by huge surprise, but once the initial shock passed, her hands involuntarily found a way towards his neck and locked there, her head resting on his shoulder. For some crazy reason she felt…. safe. Safe in his arms. Crazy, given the fact that she didn’t even know him for so long and he always showed his teasing and asshole-like side. But maybe he wasn’t lying? Maybe he really did like her? Maybe he wasn’t just playing around? She was too lost in her own head to notice that her friends were observing her swaying with Kyle, smiling lightly. Apparently, they knew better.

“You’re so tense….” He muttered, caressing her back gently “Why? What did he really do to cause you so much pain? To make you run away from me?”

“Artemis….” she whispered, hiding her face in his neck and he instinctively and protectively held her closer, suddenly realizing everything. Todd was a fucker for ever cheating, that was obvious, but Artemis? Rayner really though he knew her and only now he was finding out that the Amazon did the worst thing to the other girl. Broke another’s relationship.

Damn…..

Kyle might have been a bit of a cocky bastard with a pretense of a blown ego, but deep inside he was also a romantic, who never played around when it came to love. Sure, he had his fair share of one night stands and adventures, but at least he could differentiate between satiating his needs and actually feeling something for someone. And oh, he did felt for Y/N.

“I’m so sorry baby….” He cooed, caressing her back, feeling her lean into the touch. She was so hurt. So misused and broken. Probably asking herself all the stupid questions about herself and second guessing reality “It was not your fault.” He pulled back, still not letting her out of his embrace, one hand cupping her cheek and resting there while he looked her deep into her eyes. “You deserve so much more than that fu…..”

“Don’t finish this.” she pleaded putting a hand on his mouth, silencing him and the atmosphere suddenly became tense as they both realized how close they were and how well their bodies aligned.

Oh, shit…..

“Wanna get out of here?” he asked, lust blown eyes focused on her face.

“Yes…..”

Stephanie Brown was way more happy than she should when she saw them leaving together. Her plan clearly worked and all it took was a little push.

Inquisitor as Companion Asks

originally an ask-meme by @swevani Rig Version 1. If not for the Conclave, what would drive your character to join the Inquisition? Rig would see the growing influence of the Inquisition and would join in hopes that she can use their resources to help find her missing mage brother and templar sister 2. How would they meet the Inquisitor? The Inquisitor would have to be fighting a bear in the Hinterlands and Rig would come and help take it down since she has some experience with hunting them 3. What would some of their cutscenes look like? -Rig would be hunting some nugs running around Haven, and the Inquisitor could come up and accidentally scare them off before she had a change to kill them -Rig would be in the kitchens arguing with the cooks about her recent catch and how they should be preparing it 4. What would their romance route look like? Would they be romancable? I don’t really see her as being romanceable... Unless you’re Cullen ha......................................................... 5. If they romanced someone as Inquisitor, would they still fall for that person as a companion? How would that play out? How would they react to that person being romanced by the “new” Inquisitor? Ya she would still fall for Cullen. I feel like it’d take longer for them to get together, as she’d have to find other ways to show that she isn’t completely selfish, compared to be Inquisitor where just by taking up that role it shows that they care, if that makes sense?? ?_? Also if the new inquisitor romanced him she’d immediately try to bury those feelings 6. Write some of their party banter (in reaction to major events, scenery dialogue, or just shitting around. Askers can specify for which character/event, or leave it up to the writer). Inquisitor: Oh seems like there’s lots of nugs in this area Rig: I’ll handle it Inquisitor: We don’t need a bloodbath Rig: I’ll be clean then -- (At the winter palace) Rig: I’m starting to feel ill why’d you even bring me here Inquisitor: You’re a noble, you fit right in Rig: Keep talking like that and I’m going to throw up in this diamond encrusted vase 7. What would be on their tombstone in the fade (what is their greatest fear)? ?????????? idk, something about letting down her siblings but i cant think of a good way to say it lol 8. What kind of Inquisitor would drive them to leave the Inquisition/confront them about their actions (what gets their approval low? what does that scene look like)? Idk if there’s anything that would really get her approval low enough for her to leave? I feel like she’d be using the Inquisition more for her goals(locating missing siblings), instead of serving due to the belief behind it. But I also feel like she’d find her purpose while working for them at some point so idk about this answer I’ll come back to it... 9. Where in Skyhold would they be found? (e.g. Cole is in the tavern rafters, Leliana in the top of the tower, Varric in the throne room, etc.) Cook’s kitchens 10. If Inquisition operated like DA:O, what would their gift items be? What would their approval and disapproval Feast Day items be? New satchel, skinning knife Feast Day gift: Rash ointment LMAO?? (she’s allergic to elfroot and gets rashes...) Feast Day prank: Nug plush 11. How would they grow as a person? How would they compare at the end of the Inquisition as a companion to who they were as the Inquisitor? Her character growth would be the same. As the events of Inquisition happen, she’d see the suffering families have to endure upon loss of their loved ones up close and realize she wants to prevent that as much as possible 12. Do they believe the Herald of Andraste is really the Herald of Andraste? Yes, upon seeing all the things that the Inquisitor is doing with the rifts and the hole in the sky, I think she would believe. 13. If the Herald didn’t have them tag along to prep the trebuchets, what would they do during the battle for Haven? (bonus: would they join in on the impromptu Dawn Will Come choir practice in the camp?) Helping with the fighting probably. No she wouldn’t join, she’d be awestruck 14. What nickname does Varric give them? Nugs 15. Without the influence of their decisions for the Inquisition, which of the companions do they get along with? Which ones do they bicker with? Get along with Cullen, Bull Bicker with Josephine I guess?? (she doesn’t like nobles and having to suck up to them) 16. What would the Fear Demon say to them in the Fade to try and discourage them? Probably try to convince her to stop looking for her siblings saying they’re probably dead already or something 17. Where do they hang out in the Winter Palace? What’s their thoughts on the nobles/The Game? Outside far away from everybody. Hates The Game, hates having to pretend to care about the whole nobility thing, has no patience for it at all and probably hates the inquisitor for bringing her to it, will leave the inquisition if brought to the winter palace IM JK BUT COULD U IMAGINE. 18. What’s their reaction to a dragon showing up? Excited, thinking about what it would take to bring something like that down, what parts of the dragon she could sell for a lot. 19. Once Corypheus is beaten, what do they do during the party? Do they stay with the Inquisition, or go somewhere else? What could the Inquisitor do to convince them to stay? Probably stick around until she gets bored, or the Inquisition’s values change drastically..  20. How do they react to learning abominations can retain their consciousness and identity, and even live peacefully with their spirits/demons, as seen in Stone-Bear Hold? havent played this dlc in a long time i have no opinion on this yet lol 21. What do they think of the discoveries made in the Deep Roads? Do they make any comments on anything? the only thing i remember about this dlc is the nug king thing and she’d just be.. incredulous about the whole thing 22. If you have another Inquisitor, how would those two get along, specifically? I tried to design Malik and Rig to be opposites so maybe not??? but they say opposites attract so???? it’s weird i never really thought about it 23. In trespasser, what “gift” would they give the Inquisitor, if any? A coat made of nug skins 24. What are their plans for after the Exalted Council? Will the Inquisition staying in tact or being disbanded make a difference? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i have no idea i’ll come back to this 25. In the alternate reality, if they were corrupted with lyrium, how do they act? What’s their attitude about the end of the world/their inevitable death? this question is depressing, anyways I can see her being incredibly ruthless. She’s probably made peace in the past with her inevitable death/end of the world, has belief that whatever happens is just destiny at work

Rewatch: My Bride is a Mermaid Ep 25 - 26

Woah. Shit got real in these final two episodes!

Episode 25: The Family Game

The start of the episode reveals that Akeno and her superior have been getting their orders from Lord Yoshio Minamoto, a mer-noble who has a fearful grip on the mer-government and can use it for his own benefit...in this case, to break up Sun and Nagasumi so that he can take Sun for his bride. But because his government subordinates have failed to deliver, this spoiled frat boy is stepping in personally with a scheme to make sure he gets what he wants. 

Akeno is to seize on a moment of friction between Sun and Nagasumi to invite the whole Seto Gang to his palace, allegedly for a party full of important merpeople. That moment comes when a basic argument over Nagasumi putting his socks in the laundry while they’re inside-out escalates to the point where Nagsumi and Sun have to confront the fact that their engagement is based on coercion: it was the only way either of them could stay alive. This creates a new emotional distance between the two, especially when Nagasumi stubbornly refuses to apologize. And then....Sun and her family disappears from his life entirely.

While we know that it’s due to Yoshio’s invitation, Nagasumi doesn’t. The whole montage where he goes to various locations he and Sun have been together in the past only to find her absent now, culminating when he enters her empty room and breaks down crying, apologizing to Sun and begging her to come back...damn, that was powerful. The last two episodes already amped up the emotional sincerity, and these two just run with it, with the actual jokes being few and far between when compared to the drama, which intensifies once Yoshio’s so-called party is revealed to be a trap and all of the Setos are knocked out.

Kai and Lunar manage to find out what’s going on, with Lunar’s horrified reaction and her description of how many girls have gone missing while attending Yoshio’s “parties” selling the fear of the situation, while also being heartwarming in how her immediate response is “Sun is in danger!” and dashing off with Kai to mount a rescue. She loves her rival so much. And speaking of rivals who care, Kai doesn’t hesitate in seeking to include Nagasumi in the rescue mission, with his response to Nagasumi’s later vow to go out and get Sun back being “Those are the exact words I’ve been waiting to hear!” Like I said in the last post, Kai has truly grown into a more honorable person (as has Chimp, who is helping him as always).

And if all of that wasn’t heartwarming enough, Nagasumi’s vow only comes after he gets encouragement from Mawari, who tells him that he needs to be honest with his feelings and act upon them, to not give up on his true love. It is also hinted again that Mawari is well aware of the whole mermaid factor at play, but says nothing out of love and respect for everyone. Mawari Zenigata truly cannot have her praises sung loud enough, she is just that awesome.

The ending montage gets you ridiculously pumped to go straight into the next, and final, episode, with the music playing being the most epic the show has ever had as it plays over shots of every character in the show in their current positions. Let’s end this with a bang!

Episode 26: The Place You Go Home To 

Right off the bat, we’re ending it with several bangs, as Kai’s submarine must navigate a minefield set up to defend Yoshio’s undersea lair. The awesomeness kicks in immediately when Lunar uses her siren scream to decimate the mines, declaring “I’m the songstress of the Edomae! DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME!” She, Kai and Nagasumi will stop at nothing to get Sun back, and their true love of her is contrasted perfectly by Yoshio’s repulsive lust. In the manga, Yoshio was a very different character and his desire for Sun had more to do with a religious factor and a hunger for power. But the anime version of him is the most vile kind of guy possible: a sociopathic frat boy who sees women as objects whom he mind-wipes with a magical artifact before having his way with them and grooming them into his loyal slaves. He is a misogynistic rapist and a person with power who gleefully abuses it, and it makes him the most loathsome character in the show without question. You really want to see him go down.

Once the heroes invade Yoshio’s lair, they are met with an army of guards who clash with the army of Mikawa Conglomerate workers Kai brought along. Lunar assists with her song of war, which again turns things into a bloodbath but one that Nagasumi can easily slip away from to reach Yoshio. Yoshio sends Akeno to face him, since her swordsman’s code says that she cannot disobey a mer-noble’s orders. But ever since she discovered the truth about how Yoshio “woos” the women he lusts after and that he intends the same for Sun, Akeno has been struggling to keep to this code, and it only takes Nagasumi reminding her about the reason she first became a swordsman to get her to switch sides and fight alongside him.

Yoshio unleashes both his trio of giant pet eels and his entire fraternity, but then we get a sequence of awesomeness upon awesomeness as everyone comes in to get a badass moment. First it’s Gozaburo and the rest of the Seto Gang, a moment that concludes when Gozaburo knocks down an eel and, seeing the fierce determination Nagasumi has to save Sun, tells him “you’re a Seto now” and throws him a yakuza jacket as he urges him to go rescue his daughter. Then it’s Lunar, Kai and Chimp catching up, with Lunar using a siren scream to blow the frat away and an injured Kai (supported by his faithful Chimp) also urging Nagasumi to go save Sun. Then it’s an injured Akeno using the nature of the Morning Star blade to her advantage and having Ren (who is the one supporting Akeno because Ren is a fucking goddess among women) use her siren scream on it, which magnifies it enough to knock down another eel. And then it’s, out of nowhere, Papa fucking Edomae (still in the schoolgirl outfit because he’s grown comfy in it) dropping from the sky and taking out the last eel, then tag-teaming with his daughter to take on the reconvening frat. It’s just amazing, and it leads into the climax of the episode when Nagasumi finally reaches the room where Sun is being held and confronts Yoshio, who is ready to kill him with his superior merman strength.

Nagasumi stands no chance against Yoshio in a straight 1-on-1 fight, but he doesn’t care, all he cares about is snapping Sun out of her trance. Yoshio brags that nothing can accomplish that, but Nagasumi pours out all of his feelings for Sun, shouting how he loves her and can’t imagine ever living without her. This does it, and with her mind restored, Sun verbally eviscerates Yoshio for being the pathetic third-rate scum that he is. Full of misogynistic rage and toxic masculinity, Yoshio aims to shoot Sun dead, but Nagasumi takes the bullet. And yet he is unharmed, because just being with Sun, simply standing by her side as lovers and as equals, fills him with unlimited power - the Power of Love! With Sun now intentionally directing her love as energy to power Nagsumi up, Yoshio gets the beatdown he deserves.

As awesome as this is, I still have one minor quibble about translation issues in this scene. Sun’s altered catchphrase comes back to bite the show’s butt when Nagasumi tells Yoshio what it is that makes a real man - in Japanese, it’s ninkyo, aka chivalry, which is displayed on screen as text when he says this. But in the dub, it’s “Honor Among Thieves”. Huh!? So all real men must be thieves? Things get more absurd when Nagasumi gives Yoshio his final beatdown, the text of the Japanese title Seto No Hanayome appears with each punch for some reason, and I guess that reason got lost in translation because we instead get Yoshio screaming “My! Bride is! A! MERMAAAAAAAID!” to get the same effect of a title drop in this moment. There is no reason in context why he would say this, as he had already given up on Sun as a bride and had attempted to kill her, so it just ends up as a huge “WTF!?” moment.

Anyway, Yoshio is defeated and his true form is exposed: a lowly catfish. All of the fear he inspired and thus the power he had is instantaneously gone with this revelation, allowing Akeno’s superior to legally indict him for his crimes. Nagsumi finally apologizes to Sun for the argument and says that from now on he wants their engagement to be something they chose for themselves. And so, taking out the ring he got her in episode 2, he asks Sun if she’ll marry him. Of course Sun says “Yes”, and as the original ED credits song plays, they embrace.

There’s a gag scene before the credits of life returning to normal except for Nagasumi now insisting on remaining in “buff mode” which makes all the routine interactions with the other characters more ridiculous, but after the credits we get a still-frame of Sun and Nagasumi’s earlier embrace, so for all intents and purposes that’s the note this show ends on: two kids from two different worlds who, against all the many, many obstacles, found true love together.

There’s one more post about the series to go, but my experience of actually rewatching the show is over with. And let me tell you - it’s been a great revisiting that I do not at all regret.

Tiamat’s Wrath, by James S.A. Corey

It’s been a while since I finished, and I’m still A MESS (and, apparently, not the only one). So this is not going to be coherent in any way, just me rambling about what stood out to me in those 541 pages of pure stress.

I’m tagging it as spoilery, but still: CAREFUL, SPOILERS! (also, long)

Alright. No way around that: the first sentence messed me up badly. I’m pretty sure that’s never happened to me, having a character die on me in the very first sentence of a book (not even the first chapter! The prologue, ffs!). And technically not even that, she’s been dead for a while, I just learned about it now. The thing is, I expected something like this to happen at some point, I was already dead scared for her in Persepolis Rising once it had sunk in that we’d just done a time jump of several decades, but I thought we’d get her death on screen, if only because she’s been such an influential character over the last seven books. It feels odd to just have her gone, without drama and fanfare. My guess is that, besides being really old at this point, she also didn’t have much energy left because of her failure to protect Sol system against the Laconians and the feeling of powerlessness and inevitability that came with Laconian rule. With the political center of the galaxy moving to Laconia, she probably lost most of her influence, and I think that takes a heavy toll on a born politician and decades-long power broker such as Chrisjen Avasarala. So it makes sense that she’d just... die (and it certainly sets the tone for the rest of this bloodbath of a novel).

Once I got over the initial shock, I also came to appreciate the way her death (or rather, her being dead) is written. I liked that we got a tiny peek into her relationship with her granddaughter that doesn’t sentimentalize her, but gives an interesting inside view into her worldview. The quote on her tomb broke my heart:

“If life transcends death, then I will seek for you there. If not, then there too.”

I loved every single word of the tiny snippets of information we got about her relationship with Arjun back in book 5 (or 6?), when it became ever clearer that he’d just disappeared, never to be found again, like millions of others on Earth. So to see that she still misses him, and that the fact that she never even found his body still haunts her... It breaks my heart, but it’s also really sweet. It says a lot about her personality (determination was her second name) and it shows this soft side of her that nobody around her ever got to see. But even though she mostly came of as mean and ruthless to other people, it’s nice to see that she had a positive impact on their lives (and that it’s acknowledged!). It so often happens that once a character is dead, they’re never mentioned again, and certainly never mourned. I appreciate it a lot that this didn’t happen here, that it’s pointed out several times how even in death she’s helping the other characters deal with their situation, especially in the few Holden POV chapters. I’m really grateful that her memory is being honored, especially since it’s honored by characters imagining her bossing them around, which I’m pretty sure she would have liked.

Second, I like the view on humanity that’s presented here, in the series in general but especially explicitly in this book. I’d argue that it’s actually quite positive, despite all the power-hungry,conscience-proof narcissists like Duarte and Inaros and Errinwright and Mao and Cortázar and... Yes, they exist and they naturally have a lot of tools to screw things up, which is only realistic, but they’re presented as outliers. The rest of humanity is messy, and unruly, and sometimes has an impressive ability to ignore paradoxes, but it is also capable of empathy and mercy, and most people can find the strength to stand up for what’s right when it matters. I think the best summary of this philosophy is found in a monologue from Emma:

“Easy to make rules. [...] Easy to make systems with a perfect logic and rigor. All you need to do is leave out the mercy, yeah? Then when you put people into it and they get chewed to nothing, it’s the person’s fault. Not the rules. Everything we do that’s worth shit, we’ve done with people. Flawed, stupid, lying, rules-breaking people. Laconians making the same mistake as ever. Our rules are good, and they’d work perfectly if it were only a different species. [...] I’ll die for that. [...] I’ll die so that people can be fuckups and still find mercy.”

What she’s saying is that our general aversion to rules gets us into a lot of trouble, but it also gives us flexibility, and therefore the capacity for mercy even if we’re perfectly certain that a person screwed up. She’s also saying that it’s important to stand up for that, to not just care about one’s own tiny bubble and put every terrible thing that happens down to “guess they had it coming”. Because it’s not as easy as that.

I also love this quote because it’s one of the strongest statements of what’s actually wrong with Laconia. Several characters, in this book and the last, point out that it’s really hard sometimes to not loose track of why Laconia’s version of authoritarian rule is actually terrible, and I gotta admit that I agree. Sometimes, on paper, the whole organising principle just seems so... sensible. There aren’t any graphic descriptions of bloody massacres like when Eros got infected with the protomolecule or when Inaros dropped the asteroids on Earth. Even the actions that are clearly atrocious, like Trejo destroying Pallas or the protomolecule “production” in the pens, are described in a way that feels very surgical, almost hygienic, so that you loose sight of what’s actually happening. I’m pretty sure that that’s deliberate, that the authors want their audience to slip into this mindset of “are they really that bad?” every now and then in order to make the audience see that authoritarian regimes aren’t only bad when they have obvious bloodstains on their hands. They’re actually bad all the time, and even more dangerous when they’re not that obvious. When the arbitrariness that most of us associate with dictators is replaced by a set of rules so strict that you gotta slip up some time, and once you do there’s no fixing your mistake. Plus, the absolute confidence (read: hubris) in their own decisions that often comes with this specific kind of dictator makes them immune to any kind of outside opinion, which, as this book clearly demonstrates, leads to some astonishingly short-sighted decisions and a whole lot of very dangerous complications. So all in all, I think this book does a pretty good job at exposing the nature of authoritarian regimes, from the system of distributed (read: lack of) responsibility that comes with a strict chain of command and their complete lack of accountability or checking for logical errors, to the treacherous allure that some of them might have.

Third, I love the way the romantic relationships are written. I’m usually not a big fan of romance because I think in most cases the romance is more a necessity that comes with the medium than an actual gain for the plot, but I love these. Probably because at this point, all the romantic relationships have been an established fact in the couple’s lives for a few decades now, and they give me this feeling of being... settled, in all the best ways. It can be exciting to watch a new relationship being formed, and I love slow burns to death, but once the new couple gets together my excitement normally fades away pretty quickly. Apparently there’s only a limited number of ways to introduce conflict in such a situation (and no, it can’t come from the outside and the rest of the plot for... reasons), and usually the new couple is way too busy with sudden attacks of irrational jealousy, a dark secret in the past, the do-they-really-love-me-agony etc. for me to enjoy this relationship that I’ve been rooting for for so long. Especially since it’s usually a problem that the couple could solve by having a long and honest conversation, but for REASONS that’s not an option and... I digress. So I like established relationships because they generally don’t come with that particular brand of drama, which means that there’s space to actually focus on the couple itself or on (gasp) the plot. This whole series does that pretty well - I already mentioned that I adore Chrisjen and Arjun as a couple - and in this book there is a lot of it. Naomi and Holden, obviously, and Elvi and Fayez, and for me also Drummer and Saba, although he doesn’t show up on stage at all and she does so only briefly, so in their case it’s more of an aftereffect of Persepolis Rising that’s exacerbated by him dying.

I don’t know how to put this into words exactly, but I love that these relationships are so stable (and by that I don’t mean boring). The fact that it has been an important part of the characters’ lives for so long doesn’t mean that they don’t express their love anymore, that they don’t think about each other with affection, that they don’t worry about the other or miss them. There’s lots and lots of fluff, if you want to put it that way. But most of all, they provide what a committed relationship is actually supposed to provide: an anchor, a sense of belonging, stability, mutual understanding, acceptance... without taking away the characters’ agency, identity or personal freedom. It’s most visible in Elvi and Fayez, where Elvi is the one with the important job, the long hours and high security clearance, and Fayez just supports her through all of the awfulness. He doesn’t pry, he doesn’t pick a fight with her for never being home, and he doesn’t reproach her for not eloping with him in the end because he can see that this is important for her. And while we don’t get his POV, I’m pretty sure that he’s not just swallowing his anger or feeling unfulfilled in his clearly supporting role - he just has his priorities straight, and No. 1 on that list is Elvi. Which is what a healthy relationship should look like.

And I think the same goes for Naomi and Holden. As painful as it was to watch her mourn him over almost one and a half books, I think it might be good for their relationship. He’s always been the one in the spotlight, not because he wanted it so badly but because he’s naturally good at it, and she was the one in the shadows (of her own volition, I need to add). I think that the events of this book, with her rising to the very top of the resistance movement and putting her logistical brilliance to work, will add a whole new layer to their dynamic. She’s now finally in a position where she might be able to prevent at least some of these situations that trigger his instinct of running head first into danger for the good of others. I don’t think she’d try to pull rank on him, but she has a bit more control over circumstances now so that she’d at least be able to do the whole rushing into danger thing together, and it puts them on more equal footing, hierarchically speaking. That’s never been an issue in their relationship per se, but it has been a factor in the way they interact with others both as a couple and as individuals. He often deferred or at least conferred with her, but Holden was the one other people addressed first, and that’s going to be different in the next book.

In the same vein, this book also made my shipper heart both glad and utterly devastated at the same time because there’s so much Alex-Bobbie-content. I’m not sure if you can actually call it shipping - I never wanted them to be an item romantically, but I think they’re one of the best examples of a queerplatonic relationship that’s out there. It’s canon that they never slept together, probably never even kissed, and it’s still made abundantly clear that they’re each other’s person. Alex stating that he intents to grow old with Bobbie (I think that was book 7? I’m not crying you’re crying); Bobbie worrying all the time about Alex’ safety and that he feels like he’s missing out on things like being with his son because he’s out fighting Laconia with her; the fact that he’s the only one who can get to her when she would have punched anybody else - I don’t know, they do more for me than any of the romantic couples, and I already said how much I love those. Bobbie and Alex share all of the positive traits that the romantic relationships have, but their bond is presented in a much less conventional format. It says that relationships not based on romance and/or sex can be just as lasting, committed and loving as romantic relationships, and I need to hear that more often.

Which, of course, made it all the more devastating when Bobbie died. It made sense for the narrative - with Clarissa dying at the end of Persepolis Rising, and Bobbie now, we’re down to the original Roci crew, and it solves the captaincy confusion that was part of the problem in Persepolis Rising. And I guess it also made sense for her character in that it’s a fitting death for her - it shows off all of her best personality traits from her loyalty to her crew and her convictions to her military genius, and it’s just generally badass. It still makes me very sad, though, because it’s the end of this beautiful bond that my ace ass needed, and watching Alex grieve is heartbreaking. I love Alex to pieces, he has such a caring soul, and those scenes after the battle against the Tempest where he’s working himself half to death over his grief and guilt while knowing perfectly well that he’d have killed the entire crew by trying to save her - those were absolutely awful. But as much as my heart bleeds for him, Bobbie dying also brought me one of my favourite moments for him as a character and for Naomi and Alex as a family, namely when he returns to the Roci and talks to Naomi about what it’s like to have lost Bobbie. It goes like this:

“[Naomi] ‘I am so sorry about Bobbie. I cried for a whole day.’ Alex looked down and away. His smile shifted invisibly into a mask of itself. ‘I still do sometimes. It’ll take me by surprise and it’s like it’s happening again, for the first time,’ he said. ‘Thinking about Jim does that to me.’

This direct comparison between Naomi losing her lover and Alex losing Bobbie is, to me, the ultimate confirmation that their relationship was just as loving and committed as the main romance of the series. Plus, Alex freely admits that he cries a lot, which is, of course, a normal reaction, but also such a good example of a healthy kind of masculinity that he shares with Fayez, for example. Their partners taking point is not presented as a sign of them being incompetent, unimportant or “emasculated” because it doesn’t take away from their personality in any way. It just shows that they have different, equally admirable strengths that form part of their personality - not their gender identity.