As soon as we got boots on the ground in the Lower City again, Hector's day once again got markedly worse.

--tyrant-- --SLAIN-- -joy!-- --freedom-- --close--

--helpme-- --help-- YOU-- --RECIPROCATION--

WATCHERS-- --ignoreYOU--foundry-- --NEUTRALIZED--

--WITNESSES-- --eliminated-- --YOUwalk-- --free--

--YOU-- ONE--task-- KILLORIN KILLORIN KILLORIN KILLORIN KILLORIN

Noooooooo

it's crazy how much going outside and exercising will change your whole brain chemistry like i went out for a bike ride and came back and as soon as i turned on my laptop to draw my brain was like 'i am wasting my life in front of this computer' like bestie we were JUST outside can you reign it in for two seconds please? we will go outside again tomorrow

the anons are making assumptions which i'm confused about, but than again i am just all over the place sometimes so i get it. i have never said i was above "drama" can't consider this last thing as drama honestly considering the topic and disgust i am feeling, oh and being petty and mean. its just reserved for one person and associates cause i enabled some bullshit with him being a depressed loser. now i just say whatever on my blog and deal with it like an adult. its good to suffer consequences for yapping.

🌸｡*ﾟ+. I'll be on tonight to work on replies, but in the meantime before I'm off to bed... Comment your muse's favorite food! Does that sound silly? Yes, but I have my reasons to ask! I wanna know ♡ (Multi-muses, pick whichever muse you wanna answer for~)

i was such a dedicated nailbiter for decades—as far back as i can remember, really—and got so much scolding about it from my mother over the years bc it was Unsightly, which of course felt like part and parcel of the machinery of compulsory femininity because in many ways it was, and like, fuck that but i do wish i’d understood sooner the wear i was inflicting on my teeth? but also frankly given the various forces at work on me both externally and internally it was a necessary self-soothing behavior for me, so, you know, what can you do.

but anyway i seem now finally, after a long summer of effort, to have more or less kicked the habit, by making sure i’m never too far from clippers or a file so i can immediately smooth out roughnesses that bug me instead of either gnawing at them or having my awareness of them gnawing at me, and i’m starting to feel like, god. all that willpower expended just to arrive back at essentially the same stubby-nailed condition i was in for most of my life, just now maintained via active assiduous effort instead of unthinking self-sustaining nibbling?? feels like a bad trade tbh!!!

like i really can see why someone might do a full 180 post-nailbiting into, like, keeping long talons they artfully decorate—that way you’d at least be cultivating something to write home about, you know? but unfortunately i can’t tell you how much that is Not my gender.

trying to keep telling myself "you are a little baby learning this language for the first time, be patient with yourself" but OUGHHHH i don't understand how to learn another language... I fear that I may be no good at this,,, also I am so impatient with learning new things aheemheem whimper

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

Idk if this is silly, but when I see people in their early twenties who are desperate to find their “person” and “start their life” in that way I just want to shake them and be like oooomg shut up you have so much fucking time and please enjoy every moment you can have for yourself without another person even in the picture. Please just learn about yourself without enmeshing yourself with someone else and make yourself the biggest priority of all!! There is way too much emphasis on needing to quickly find “the one” (which is a stupid concept anyway when there are 8 billion fucking people on the planet and people who could love you are everywhere) and I hate how it’s like societally ingrained in us.

are there any other historical figures you like I'm intrigued 👀

Okay buckle in, somehow this post will be weirder than any of my f1 stuff bcs for some reason I'm very intense about historical figures, I think I just have a tendency to treat them like blorbos

Mostly I'm endeared to powerful figures, idk why, it's the way it is. Okay so obviously you already know I like Napoleon(and Wellington to an extent), that really doesn't need to be emphasized anymore

Since being in Austria, I feel super endeared to Maria Theresa. She just seemed like such a boss! I think she's just really cool. Her father changed the plan of succession so she'd become Empress(rather than her cousins), but immediately upon taking power, she was immediately embroiled in war over her being the new ruler(everyone who had signed the treaty of succession suddeny reversed) But she defended her rule of the Habsburg monarchy! I think the coolest part about her is that her husband, who married into the Habsburgs, was supposed to be in charge, but she wouldn't let him be involved at all practically and was the de facto ruler of the Holy Roman Empire for like 20 years. She had 16 children and was basically constantly pregnant and having kids while involved in war, yet still held power and guided Austro-Hungary through it all 🥹 I think it's very funny also that she was laying out so many reforms, guiding the country basically just herself, and still found time to write letters to all their kids and be an overbearing mother. Also she was Marie Antoinette's mother?? I'm still shocked by how many important kids she had. If you've been to any part of the former Austro-Hungarian(+ Bohemian) Empire, she really left her mark, there's soooo much stuff named after her. The statue of her in between the Kunsthistorisches and the Natural History Museum in Vienna is really cool, and that she has a whole Platz named after her with her giant statue!!! I think it's just really admirable that a woman at that period of time had so much power and ruled so efficiently. (MY god sorry I wrote so much)

Okay now I'll try to refrain from the historical rambles, I also like: Julius Caeser(cliche sorry I know), Dmitri Shostakovich(my favorite composer ever), Pyotr Tchaikovsky(pls read about his sugar mommy patron), Erwin Rommel(I like his nickname: The Desert Fox), J.C. Leyendecker(favorite artist, I am obsessed with his work), Alphonse Mucha, Calvin Coolidge(not the best president by far but the anecdotes about his social awkwardness and quietness are hilarious to me), Ernst Gideon von Laudon(not completely insane about him, but it's like with the Napoleon Crossing the Alps painting, I saw a painting and bust of him and now feel weirdly endeared.) And then there's probably some others I can't recall atm because it's 3 am

I think my top three though are Napoleon, Julius Caesar and Maria Theresa. They're all just very: "Catie saw a painting/statue and is now very weird about it." And then being in the vicinity of so much history made it 1000x worse. Things I saw in Vienna that made me go "oh my god it's blorbo from my history book": Napoleon Crossing The Alps painting(I seriously sat in that room for probably 20 mins just staring at it, I didn't want to leave) + some other various Napoleon artifacts in the Heeresgesichtliche, a very nice bust of Julius Caesar, and literally the entirety of Vienna had Maria Theresa everywhere

it isn’t the end of the semester but i’m already having my end of the semester breakdown oh my GOD I am going to have a heart attack. sprite save me

sobbing over nozue’s confession scene again

ew. wakin up early again is awful.

🌸｡*ﾟ+. My goals for tonight are to:

Make new pinned post

Add a couple of muses I forgot about

Finish transferring Time’s Headcanons to headcanon doc

Queue an ask or two~ (thank you for those !!)

Hope everyone’s having a lovely day/night ♡

LIKEWISE I hope you enjoy the upcoming releases too and that the price tag on Gaiden's worth it! I know personally I'll enjoy them regardless lol, the worldwide releases have been Particularly Rough on localization but these have still been some of my favorite games. Sorry in advance for I will be the one saying unnecessary things (as I often am) though </3

Speaking of, I'm glad you're enjoying Kyouen!! Once Again I wish I didn't have Goldfish Memory so I could actually discuss but :) always look forward to your reviews :)

i wouldnt ever say anythin you say is unnecessary when you always have a lot of insight and purpose to what you say ♪(´▽｀)

AND YAYA im really enjoyin kyouen ! you were absolutely right in everyone being petty as hell LMAO im living for it tho (￣y▽￣)

Got my acceptance letter!!!