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szopenhauer · 4 years

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When was the last time you wore your favourite article of clothing? I like most of my clothes

Do your parents smoke? no

Do you live close to a park? forest

Is your favourite animal endangered? raccoons aren’t but elephants are :(

How many pens can you see from where you’re sitting? 6

What language do you think you’d fail at? french and asian ones

Do you still have a landline phone at your house? but we don’t use it

Do you carry pain relievers with you at all times? nope

Where is your mother right now? in the living room with my dad

What was the last thing to make you smile? not sure what was last

What would you do if you got home and you saw your house had been destroyed? omg don’t feed my paranoia :o

Would you slap the last person you talked to for twenty dollars? nah

Do you know anyone who gives way too many hugs? they give as much as they need

What are some positive things, realizations or habits that came out of quarantine for you? long story, it’s complicated

How do you feel about people who are “workaholics”? Would you consider yourself one? I don’t like them, most of them only care about money and not at all about health or loved ones, I’m not ambitious or a workaholic

What could you spend less money on? trinkets

How would you describe yourself as a friend? What value would you say you bring to your friends? it’s up for them to say/judge

In psychology they say that our romantic relationships are an extension of our relationships with our parents, and that we tend to choose our partners based on whatever was lacking in our childhood, or that we are attracted to traumas and sufferings that are familiar to us rather than the unknown. Can you relate to this? umm...

Can you tell when you are not well-liked? What do you do when you feel someone is not particularly fond of you? I’m not surprised, I’m used to the fact ppl don’t like me that I assume they don’t until they tell me, repeteadly, that they actually do (which rarely happens and doesn’t last long), I avoid/ignore those who hate me most

How would you say your preference in movies or TV shows changed from when you were a teenager vs. now? used to watch only movies for kids at first

Apart from price and location, what are some deciding factors when choosing a house for you? smell, bath and balcony mostly

What emotion is the hardest for you to express? how grateful I am if that counts - when it comes to gifts and/or compliments etc.

How do you feel about job interviews? Are you good at negotiation? I do well but I still don’t get a job because of lack of experience; I only failed one interview in my life but I didn’t even want to work there, UP sent me to call center and boss asked me questions about the job I was going to get but they didn’t tell me what it’s about so I didn’t know much and I was in my snow boots (as it was winter) to my elegant clothes so I looked dumb and I forgot that I can’t leave the building on my own as they had special card keys and I tried to open door like crazy until someone saved me - that was awkward...

How many cars have you ever owned? 0

Can you do math in your head well? I need my fingers

What’s your least favorite chore to do around the house? laundry and cooking, not that I like chores in general haha

What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip? salt, also liked becon in the past

Do you ever read the weather forecast? pfft

Do amusement park rides make you sick? I worry they would so I don’t risk it

Have you ever cheated on a test? in high school, especially math, elseway I would fail

Is your next birthday coming up soon? next year

Do you have any bumper stickers on your car? I’d buy some if I had a car but I don’t drive

Do you leave good tips when you eat out at restaurants? I don’t tip, why? we don’t tip postmen and/or nurses etc.

What’s your favorite thing to eat at bbqs? not a BBQ food person

Do you still own any VHS tapes? we still keep ‘em

How many jobs have you had? I tried some jobs but never really had one

If there was a real Jurassic Park, would you visit it? no thx

How many friends do you have that are married? from all of my ex best friends only Ula, Sandra and John are married, Dorota was already divorced when I met her

Did you have a swing set in your yard when you were a child? didn’t trash it, used it this summer

You’re making a fruit salad: what kinds of fruit do you put in it? I don’t eat fruit salads

Do you prefer to drink from glasses or mugs? mugs, glasses are dangerous, I remember them breaking from heat like they were exploding or smth - scary

Is it weird to hear your name in movies or TV shows? it is, when an evil or stupid character has my name it makes me mad

What kind of kid were you when you were seven? very good student, angel, clumsy, naive, wearing “ugly clothes”, the only girl with long hair at the point, petite, wanted other kids to like me so I tried to impress them (but didn’t blindly followed everything they were doing though), not as shy as my mom tought, didn’t know how to tell jokes, still happy but slowly becoming depressed due to family issues, bullying, money and health problems

Is there a subject you know so much about that you’d be able to teach it? sigh... Where did you purchase the computer you’re using right now? Media markt Do you think it’s fair to compare Family Guy to The Simpsons? The Simpsons are better, I dislike Family Guy, wasn’t there an episode where they mixed both of those shows?...

Do you have pockets in anything you are wearing currently? I do not usually

How loudly can you burp? I’m more of a quiet burp/fart person

How many different letters are in your full name? 12

Do you like making bets? occasionally

Have you ever had a ‘falling’ dream? I don’t wake up, I just fall and crash on the floor then I lay there and it hurts

Do you do anything weird in your sleep? possibly

How long are your fingers? my longest finger is 7 cm and my shortest is 4 cm

Do you like bumper cars? whatever

What color is the book nearest to you? dark colors - black, purple, red, grey...

Can you lick your elbow? I can

How old were you when you said your first word? ask my parents

Can you sit the way people sit when they meditate? yep

Do you like the autumn? if it’s not too cold and snowy

Would you rather have a hippo or rhino dropped on you? doesn’t matter but at this point in 2020 I can expect that to happen

Have you ever cried in front of a teacher? in elementary, in high school I cried but she didn’t notice as I tried to hide that - it was one of two moments through all high school that I cried - to było wtedy kiedy Pepe zabrał mój temat na maturę, na który przygotowywałam się od 5 lat i dostałam w zamian jakieś gówno, a drugi raz płakałam bo musiałam zapłacić za brak biletu w autobusie mimo, że go miałam tylko legitymacja szkolna nie była podbita bo akurat wówczas byłam w szpitalu i nikt mnie nie powiadomił, że powinnam to nadrobić i strasznie się zmartwiłam, że nie mam kasy i staram się jak mogę, a i tak coś zawsze się spierdoli (bo czemu ludzie sobie jeżdżą bez biletu serio cały czas, a mimo to “złapali” akurat mnie?), jeszcze musiałam pojechać przystanek dalej przez to jak mnie spisywali i prawie spóźniłam się na zajęcia :(

Have you ever cried BECAUSE of a teacher? who haven’t? srsly

Do you do a :) or a (:? :) (: is creepy

Are paper clips fun to play with? meh

Do you prefer mechanical pencils or regular pencils? regular

Is your alarm clock set right now? good idea :o

Are you itchy right now? slightly which is normal to me

Do you have anything on your wrists? not right now

Why are you so awesome? :) I’m not...

so how are you today? I thought I will feel worse before going to hospital so won’t complain

when was the last time you had a cup of tea? long time ago

who’s the most recent person on your Facebook feed? (if you have it) my annoying sister >.<

when (if ever) was the last time you saw that person? week ago

how do you feel about wolves? great animals

do you use pinterest? started new account this month

should you be doing something else right now? packing but whenever I pick up one thing to put into the bag I get a panic attack

bye :) bye...

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gaycrouton · 6 years

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I’d love to see 3 from the prompt list!

I’m moving through my prompts sporadically, but know I’m getting to them all! Here’s #3, “This isn’t what it looks like.”

Scully had honestly probably seen more evidence of aliens than she had seen Mulder voluntarily take a vacation in all seven years of being his partner. Because of this, as soon as he asked if she could feed his fish and grab his mail while he was away, she was more than willing to help him out. He deserved it.

And a vacation for him meant a vacation for her.

Apparently there was some sort of rock and roll laser show a few towns over and he wanted to take the weekend and go see it. The details were lost on her through his unrestrained enthusiasm. It’s heavy metal and a light show combined, Scully. Come on it’s every boy’s fantasy. He’d valiantly tried to convince her to come along, sparing her from missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime, but she declined regardless. It was going to be a weekend of reading, rest, and relaxation.

Or so she intended. After a few hours of solitude on Friday, that pesky feeling she’d been trying to dampen down for months came back. She missed him. She liked to blame it on being attached to his side for years that made her sentimental at his absence, but she knew it was more. No matter how much that scared her.

She knew she wouldn’t have to deal with this much longer though, as she slipped her key into his lock, she reveled at the fact it would be the last time. It was finally Sunday, and he said he would be coming back later in the evening. Scully let herself in, closed the door behind her, and tossed the keys onto an end table. There was always something comforting about Mulder’s apartment. She presumed it was because it was filled with his personal belongings, his scent, and their personal memories. It made her feel close to him. She couldn’t remember when that started being so important to her. As she did her little chores, she wanted to help clean just a little to be nice, so she turned on his sound system and listened to the Led Zepplin CD he had in for background noise.

She fed the fish and took a good look at the apartment. It was cozy, she was honestly surprised Mulder, the man of a thousand gaudy neckties, was able to put this all together to be so welcoming. She’d spent plenty of time here through the years, but it was weird having full domain over the place. She’d been in a hurry the past two days, a date with her mother and a pap smear respectively made her rush, but today she’d just gotten out of church and had all the time in the world.

She bit her lip as she looked down the hallway leading to his bedroom. It was the one room of the house she hadn’t fully been in and her curiosity was burning. She’d seen glimpses of it, they’d joked about its lack of a bed, but she wanted to see it for herself. The part of her that was slightly hesitant started to melt away when she recalled all the times he’d been in her’s throughout the years. Fair is fair.

She strode down the hall and pushed the wooden door open to reveal a normal looking bedroom. Liar. There was a rather large bed in the middle of the room with a mirror over top of it. She wandered in a bit farther and was met with an extremely concentrated waft of Mulder. Based on that and the clothes intermittently strewn around the room, she’d say he actually spent a lot of time there.

There was a vanity in front of the bed that also had a rather large mirror that she stopped in front of. It was odd, seeing her in Mulder’s room, in front of Mulder’s bed. She wished he was here and that he’d invited her into this sacred space. She caught sight of one of his dress shirts laying haphazardly on the bed and she turned around to fully look at it. It was slightly wrinkled and if she had to guess, it was the shirt he wore to the office last time she saw him before he took off. She picked it up and pressed it to her face, inhaling his lingering fragrance on the fabric.

As it was pressed to her face, she felt the tail end of the hem flapping against the skin of her thighs. She turned around and noticed how big the shirt was pressed against her body. Just from the sight alone, she was struck with an intense desire to put it on. There was something about wearing a man’s shirt that was highly erotic to her. Maybe it was seeing physically how much larger he was than herself, maybe it was being engulfed in their clothes, maybe it was because it was just plain hot seeing herself that way. Whatever it may be, it lead her to setting down the shirt and taking her sundress off over her head, placing it on the bed instead. She hadn’t been wearing a bra under the dress since it was so tight and it just added to the sensuality of the situation. Even though it was ridiculous, she found herself checking the door to make sure he wasn’t unexpectedly home, but the only sounds coming from the apartment was an ambient Stairway to Heaven.

Clad in some black underwear and black, thigh-high nylons she was forced to wear because she hadn’t done her laundry, she grabbed the shirt again in excited anticipation. It was already unbuttoned, so she slipped one arm in a sleeve and her other in the next. She turned around to look at herself in the mirror as she buttoned it up. Scully felt herself getting wet as the same fabric that covered Mulder’s chest was grazing against her bare breasts, her nipples hardened peaks against the thin material.

The shirt went down to right above her knees and she was entranced as she watched herself button each clasp shut, just like Mulder had done countless times before her. She only buttoned it up to inbetween the valley of her breast, enjoying the way her creamy collarbones peaked through the opening. She looked at herself in the mirror and indulged in the fantasy she’d created for herself. Would she wear this after making love with Mulder? Would it turn him on to see her wearing his clothes? Would it turn him on so much that he’d fuck her while she was still wearing them?

She silently chastised herself for a moment for being so eager that she didn’t remember how it had been initially on the bed, but then again, Mulder probably wouldn’t think anything of it if the shirt was moved.

She returned her gaze to the mirror and tousled her hair a bit. She was firmly an independent woman, but something about seeing her in his shirt set off something primal in her. It made her feel like she was his and it made her gut coil in arousal at the mere thought. She was his, if only he knew.

Taking a few steps back, she lifted the hem of his shirt so that her underwear were exposed and she could see the inches of upper thigh revealed over the tops of the thigh-highs. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was narcissistic to get turned on looking at oneself, but she decided to blame it on the fantasy of being fucked by Mulder playing in her head instead.

She ended up backing up a little too far and the backs of her legs his the bed and she fell onto her back, immediately met with the sight of herself overhead. This is what Mulder would see if he tossed her on the bed and climbed over her. She crawled up the bed a little so that she was in the middle, her head resting on pillows that made her feel like she pressed her face against Mulder’s hair.

Looking up at herself, she felt sexier than she could ever remember being. She bent her legs so that the pads of her feet were flat on the bed. She raised her hips and lifted the shirt up just a little so that her underwear were visible. Watching herself, she played with the elastic band of her panties, just a little before running the palms of her hands up her body, over the shirt, coming to a resting place over top of her breasts, which she firmly squeezed. A small moan left her lips and she bit her bottom lip to keep herself quiet.

She let her hands lower back down, trailing over her ribs and feeling the heat of her skin through the fabric. Her breath was quickening and she locked into her own gaze in the mirror hungrily, feeling empowered and aroused at the sight of herself in Mulder’s shirt. She got to her exposed midriff and felt the rise and fall of her stomach. She continued playing with the hem of her panties, which were no doubt soaked now. It felt taboo to touch herself on his bed, in his shirt, while thinking of him, but as her fingers dipped below the band and came in contact with her aching core, she didn’t care.

She gasped lightly and let her head fall to the side so she could breath into the pillow next to her and get a better sense of him. She pressed her middle finger onto her clit and she swore she could feel her heartbeat. Scully’s back arched off the bed and a low moan reverberated off the walls of the room.

A moan too low.

Her eyes shot open and she sat upright to see Mulder standing in the doorway, mouth gape and eyes trained on her. Her stomach dropped in mortification and she reached one hand up to clutch the shirt closed as her legs clenched together in a lame attempt at modesty. It felt like time stopped as they just stared at each other. She waited for him to tease her, maybe even berate her, but it didn’t come. Instead she was given a look of pure, intense focus. Overwhelmingly so, that she broke the silence, “T-this isn’t what it looks like.” She was irritated at the choked, throaty way her voice came out.

“What do you think it looks like?” he asked, not taking his eyes off her, especially not leaving the parts of her body covered by the shirt.

She felt her cheeks flame up in embarrassment and she knew he knew exactly what it looked like. What it was. “I can just go. I’m sorry,” she rambled. She slid off the side of the bed and tried to ignore the way her sex was still throbbing.

She grabbed her sundress and tried to make a beeline to the bathroom, but he grabbed her forearm lightly. “Wait.” He didn’t seem angry or disgusted, so she chanced a look over to him, only to see curiosity and lust reflected back at her. It took her breath away.

The shame of being caught red-handed still weighed on her, but his gaze cemented her to the floor. “I just wanted to try on your shirt,” she whispered lamely.

“Why?”

“I-I just wanted to see how big it would be on me, that’s all,” and imagine it was wearing it after a sexual tryst with him.

His eyes raked over her and it felt like an eternity, like he was memorizing every way the shirt fluttered over her body. “And you liked the way it looked so much you crawled into my bed and started touching yourself?” His tone wasn’t accusatory, but it had enough actual questioning in it to let her know she wasn’t going to be able to pretend like it didn’t happen.

The air was thick with tension and she was still having a hard time reading him. She decided to just go with a safe, and honest, “I’m sorry.” She couldn’t look him in the face because she was so embarrassed and because she knew her face was flaming red. Also because a part of her wanted to cry.

The hand not lightly resting on her forearm came up to tilt her chin towards him. This time she saw the look of a lion staring at a lamb, “Why are you sorry?”

Was this a game of twenty fucking questions? “Because you trusted me with your apartment and then I violated your privacy. Mulder, really, I’m sorry. I crossed a line.” She was still turned on from before, and the way his hands felt on her really wasn’t helping. In fact, she felt another gush of arousal seep through her lips, saturating her panties. If she moved she was afraid he’d be able to smell it in the air.

He took a step towards her and she took in a sharp breath. “You didn’t do anything I haven’t dreamed of you doing.” Scully felt her heart stop and she noticed how dilated Mulder’s pupils were. “To be frank, you just fulfilled one of my biggest fantasies, more than one actually,” he whispered, taking another appreciative glance of her body. Then he took a step back, letting her go, and her body almost lurched at him, craving his touch. “But if all it was for you was admiring the shirt, well then, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by admitting how much it turned me on seeing you like that.”

Her breath quickened and her heart was racing. He just admitted to being turned on. By her. She took a glance down and noticed something she hadn’t before. He was hard. Very hard. Her gaze must’ve lingered a second too long because his voice broke the tension again, with a slightly amused tone this time. “But, it was more than just the shirt. Wasn’t it.”

She just looked at him through hooded lids and nodded. He took a step closer to her and reached a hand out to cup her cheek in the palm of his hand, letting his thumb stroke her skin as he spoke. “We have two options. Option one is that you ask me to give you privacy, I wait in the living room for you to change, you leave, and I’ll never bring this up ever again.” As always, he was giving her an out. A life preserver in the sea she threw herself into. “Or, you ask me to stay and we can continue whatever fantasy it was you were playing in your mind when you decided to touch yourself in my room.” If her heart started beating any faster she swore she might have a heart attack. They’d never spoken their desire out into existence before. No hiding behind a joke, no passing comment, no speculation. This was a real offer, and he was staring her in the face trying to gauge if she’d keep them stagnant or if she’d finally allow them to do what they’ve always wanted.

He took a step closer so that she could feel his body heat radiating off of him, his face leaning down over hers. “But just know that whatever option you choose, I will never forget what I just saw.”

She licked her lips nervously and caught how he focused in on the motion. She knew the option she both wanted her to choose. There really was no competition, one would satisfy them both, the other would just create another layer of sexual tension. She didn’t need to make an x-file out of their relationship. She looked up and him and realized, from the melancholy understanding of his face, he assumed she was going to tell him to go into the living room. She decided to demonstrate her answer to him. They’d said enough already.

Leaning up on her toes, she pressed her mouth to his in a feverous kiss, throwing her arms around him to keep her balance. He was shocked at the suddenness of her movement and he gasped, giving her space to let her tongue enter his mouth. As soon as her tongue glided over his, he came to his senses and returned her ministrations with equal passion and vigor, grabbing her hips in his hands and bringing her body flush to his. Immediately she felt his erection press into her and it made the burning in her lower belly rise to a new intensity.

He took a step forward and it sent her tumbling back on the bed, much like earlier. It caused their kiss to break as she laid panting, watching him above her. He licked his lips as he watched her and it almost made her hips buck involuntarily. He grabbed her from under her armpits and drug her up he bed so that he could join her. He had one knee pressed into her sex as he leaned over her, watching her with unrepentant fascination. She squirmed her body against his knee, desperate to be touched, and he looked like it was the best thing to ever happen to him. As if he was still incredulous that he turned her on.

She clenched her thighs around his leg and continued her gyrations. “I was thinking about you,” she stated, her voice coming out as a breathy, quivering whisper. He pressed his knee farther up and she let out a moan, encouraged by her reaction, he started pressing against her slightly. The shirt had risen up so it was restig around her waist, so her underwear were on full display as she rubbed against him.

He pressed his mouth to hers once more and she felt his shaky breath flutter across her cheek as he exhaled through his nose. She felt the tent of his pants hit the top of her thigh and, invigorated by his reaction to her, she eased a hand down in between them and cupped him fully, giving him a firm squeeze through the fabric so he knew it was intentional.

His precision with the kiss faltered as he moaned into her mouth and she devoured it into her own, licking, lapping, and nipping at his lips, then his jaw, then his neck.

She felt him reach up and start undoing the buttons of his shirt she wore, kissing each expanse of new skin revealed. Once the last button was undone, he let the flaps fall to the side, but neither of them made any attempt to take it off fully. She was glad to know he was as turned on by it as she was. Instead, he latched his hungry mouth onto her nipple and started suckling, occasonally running his teeth lightly over the rose peak as his other hand kneaded the other breast, switching intermittently.

She could feel his hot breaths come out in pants over her wet skin and it just added to her arousal. After a few minutes, she was a whimpering, quivering mess and she wanted him inside her more than anything. “M-muhlder,” she moaned out, trying to get his attention.

He let go of her nipple with a suctioned pop and looked at her, his cheeks flushed and his eyes wild with desire. “Hmm?”

“I want you,” she requested quietly, thrusting her hips against him to make her point clear.

He didn’t need to be asked twice. He moved away from her and she missed his heat immediately, but she enjoyed getting to watch him whip off his shirt and unbuckle his belt, freeing himself quickly until he was bare and naked in front of her, his cock bobbing and leaking in the air, desperate for her attention.

He hooked his fingers under the waistband of her underwear and looked at her for permission to take them off. She lifted her hips off the bed as an answer and he slid the thin, soaked fabric down her legs, her scent immediately filling the air. He tossed them in his pile of clothes and moved up her body, but he didn’t come up the whole way. Before she could ask what he was doing he pressed his mouth onto her arousal and she felt the personification of heaven.

He hooked his arms around her thighs, keeping her in place as he ate her, his tongue diving and curing into her before he’d swirl around her clit. She looked down at him from in between her legs and was mesmerized at the look of serene contentment adorning his face. His eyes were closed as his jaw worked magic. She threw her head back with one extremely well placed flick of the tongue and watched them in the mirror above them. She could see his back muscles flex and she saw he was lightly humping the mattress as he made love to her with his tongue. It might very well be the hottest thing she’d ever seen, him getting so much pleasure out of giving it to her.

She looked farther up and made eye contact with herself, her breasts were rosy red from his attention and her eyes were glassy from arousal. She felt herself undulating her hips, riding Mulder’s face and for a second she worried he couldn’t breathe, but then he moaned against her and all coherent thought left her mind.

The vibrations travelled into her and pushed her over the edge, she felt her legs tense as her lungs gulped for air. Her hands came down to entangle themselves in Mulder’s hair. She rocked her hips against his face and he helped her ride out her intense orgasm until her legs were actually shaking on his shoulders.

When it had passed over her, she felt like gelatin, all limbs haphazardly strewn on the bed. Mulder gently placed her legs back down as he crawled up her body once more. He kissed her and she wrapped her arms around his neck as she tasted herself on his swollen, talented lips.

At the same time, she felt the head of his cock brush against his opening and he gasped. She opened her eyes and saw him looking down at her with pure adoration. He rocked his hips against her a little more, not so that he plunged into her, but so that his tip parted up and down her lips. “Is this okay?” he asked, trying to read her face for any signs of discomfort.

Maybe it was the euphoric bliss she was feeling mixed with her anticipation of this inevitable union, but she decided to be frankly honest. “Mulder, I love you. I want to be with you. Please.” She whispered, lifting her hand to stroke his cheek fondly and move the strands of hair that were falling into his eyes.

A proud, disbelieving, and grateful smile broke out across his face and she didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore than she did in this moment. He bent down and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to her lips before drawing back, “I love you too, Scully.”

She beamed back at him before her mouth fell open from the overwhelming sensation of him gliding into her. She was so aroused that he just fit perfectly. She felt so unbelievably, so overwhelmingly full, stretched in the best way possible. Her eyes focused and she saw Mulder biting his lip in restrain before asking, “Am I hurting you?” His question came out in a strained gasp and her heart ached with how gentle and thoughtful he was being with her.

“You feel so good.” She lifted her legs up and interlocked them on his lower back, letting him slide impossibly deeper in. She started thrusting her hips against his and he took the hint, bucking in and out of her heat with more intensity.

She couldn’t believe it. This was actually Mulder. Inside her, filling her, loving her, touching her, for once it wasn’t just her hands masquerading as his. This was real, and it felt better than she could have ever imagined. She was torn between all the visual stimulation. She liked looking at them in the mirror, an omnipotent view of their union. She liked looking in between them and seeing his, impressively large, erection disappearing inside of her, seeing the way her body clung to him. She liked looking at his face, the way his jaw was set and his brow was furrowed, completely overtaken by passion.

As she was looking at his face, she saw him bring one hand to his mouth and lick his fingers. Before she had much of a chance to question it, he dropped the hand down and started circling the digits against her throbbing clit. She let out a loud moan as her eyes practically rolled to the back of her head. “That’s it, Scully,” he moaned, his eyes trained on her heaving form.

He started timing his thrust and his fingers movements so they’d be in tandem and it was too much to bear. She didn’t even have a chance to announce it before her second orgasm ripped through her. “Oh god, fuck Mulder,” she whimpered as her walls clenched around him and her fingernails dug into his shoulders.

“Scully-” he moaned, dragging out the last syllable of her name as the pleasure became too much and he joined her over the edge. He thrust into her hard a few times before diving in her to the hilt, rotating his hips to drag out both their pleasures.

They quivered and quaked against each other’s sweaty bodies for a few moments before he collapsed at her side and tried to regain his breath. She too was heaving as she turned on her side to look at him. He was beautiful, and analyzing her in the same manner, a sated smile gracing his lips.

“The shirt looks a lot better on you by the way.”

#msr smut #msr fanfiction #msr prompt #x files prompt #x files fanfic #xf fanfiction #my fanfiction #msr #gaycrouton #onlytheinevitable #dana scully #fox mulder #fanfiction smut

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hot-mysticc-mess-blog · 6 years

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Hiya hiya! Could you do rfa helping their s/o out during a relapse; it's been so hard trying to get of bed to eat , change, do anything besides sleep. Getting out of my house is such a chore these days :') But don't worry, feel free to ignore this, if it makes you uncomfortable. Thank you ! 💕

I’m so sorry this took so long! I assumed depression relapse because that’s what it sounded like to me, so I hope that was right. This is a pretty relateable scenario for me so I had a lot of fun writing it.

Masterlist

Saeyoung

Honestly, it took him a couple of days to notice how off your eating schedule had gotten

It was a little bit easier to notice how much you were sleeping but again, his schedule is also a nightmare

The final straw though was when he snuggled up to you on the bed and got a whiff your B.O.

“MC, when was the last time you bathed?”

From then on he’s super attentive.

“We’re going to take a shower together!” He comes over to the side of the bed and offers you his hand. He lets you sit on the toilet lid while he gets the water ready

When you end up plopping down on the floor of the shower mid-wash, Saeyoung turns the heat on the water up and sits down with you

He brings you food on a strict schedule that he’s not used to.

You often wake up from your naps because he had to set an alarm to remind himself to feed you. His scrambling around the kitchen, and occasionally giving up in favor of ordering in, is comical even when you only know what’s happening via the sounds you hear.

Might even encourage you to get up and take a walk around the block

If your episode lasts longer than a week he helps make sure you get professional help

He never thought he would be so good at scheduling appointments, but Saeran had honed his skills

He makes sure you’re set up for both medication management and therapy

He is uncomfortable lingering in the waiting room, but he’ll do it if you need him to

Zen

He does his best to be understanding, but sometimes he makes mistakes

“Of course you can! You just get up!”

It’s been days. Now this is just getting ridiculous

He wants you to come down and watch his practice

“Come on MC, you need to get out of bed.” Zen pulls at your shoulders, ready to hoist you up. “This isn’t funny anymore. I want my partner back.”

You burst into tears, falling off the bed and onto the floor

Shit

He starts apologizing profusely and just tucks you back into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Babe. Did I hurt you? I’m sorry…I’ll just leave you there. Please don’t cry.”

He really does need to get to rehearsal today though, so he doesn’t have much time to comfort you before he leaves for the day

He pops into the RFA chatroom on his way over. It starts out as complaining on his part, but he’s worried, and the rest of the RFA is too

Jumin offers to pay for therapy or any medications necessary

Zen vehemently refuses, but it does plant the thought in his mind that maybe you need more help than just being told to get over it

When he gets home that night he does his best to make you a nice dinner, and brings it to you in bed. He even feeds you the first few bites, at least until you get sick of his dramatic stories about the life of the spoon and decide to feed yourself.

“Babe? Don’t you think it’s time you visited a doctor about this?”

Jumin

Fun fact: with Jumin Han you don’t have to get out of bed for most things

HOWEVER, it takes him all of twenty-four hours to find out something is off

He is able to write off the first time he comes home and you’re sleeping, but not the second

The chef had notified him you had taken your last several meals in your room

The maids had notified him when they were unable to change the sheets because you were sleeping each time they wanted to clean the room.

He works from home the following day, making sure to wake you up at a reasonable hour

He brings you his specialty pancakes in bed and gives you an affectionate kiss on the temple while you eat.

“Assistant Kang has scheduled you an appointment with your therapist this afternoon. Will you be alright showering by yourself?”

His voice is kind and casual, but he’s not giving you the option not to bathe.

The maids bring in special shower bombs

Afterward, he suggests you two go watch a movie on the couch together, just so you’re getting out of bed

You two eat lunch on the couch together, and then the therapist comes by later that afternoon

Jumin loans you his home office for your session and makes sure you have a treatment plan in place before he is willing to go back to work

Jaehee

The two of you have always worked together, and she’s noticed sometimes when you seem to struggle, but this is her first time seeing it this bad

Jaehee does a really good job always encouraging you to stay on routine. You don’t get a lot of opportunities to sleep the day away and do nothing.

This could be really good for you…or it could run you into a much worse breakdown. Maybe a little of both.

She takes over making a lot of the meals when you’re relapsing and is very strict about getting you to bed on time.

When you have a few minutes to spare she suggests you go on a walk to get exercise and sunlight. If she can spare them too, she’ll even come with.

Lots of couch cuddling while watching Zen musicals in the evenings. Time to destress is important for the both of you

Jaehee wants to trust you to take care of your own health, but she also needs her partner there to at least help her run the cafe.

Once you hit a point where all her encouragement and prodding still isn’t enough though, she starts suggesting treatment options you could try

All practicalities aside, what she really wants is for you to be happy

Yoosung

Like Saeyoung, he understands where you’re coming from. He essentially put his life on hold for two years after his cousin’s death

He always notices right away that you aren’t taking the best care of yourself but he’s easily swayed if you frame it as you being lazy and indulgent with language like “I didn’t get out of bed all day’’ rather than “I couldn’t get out of bed today”

For a little while he’ll even encourage you because he too both enjoys being lazy and also regularly frames his depressive episodes as selfish indulgence

In some ways, it’s good bonding for the two of you

…until it goes on for too long or you open up about how you’re feeling and he realizes something is wrong.

He is really bad at getting up in the mornings, but he sets his alarm every day to give you an encouraging text when you need to get out of bed. Then he goes back to sleep

He sends you regular texts to make sure you’ve eaten and to keep you on track with things like doing you laundry. He even offers to help out with whatever you need

Yoosung also tries to bring over dinner for you at least twice a week! Cooking for his sweetie is one of his favorite things, and he hopes it will help cheer you up

#mystic messenger headcanons #mysme headcanons #mystic messenger imagines #jaehee kang #yoosung kim #hyun ryu #saeyoung choi #jumin han #zen #707 #jumin #jaehee #yoosung #mine #Anonymous

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combatneurosis · 6 years

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ALRIGHT FUCKERS; I'm about to air out some dirty laundry cause I'm SAD but making PROGRESS and I have to document how I'm feeling to myself for myself during this shitty ass moon shit and retrograde so when I look back on this and see how insane I was and I can like "glad I moved on lol" !!!

so the other night was like a big step I think (idk I say this shit and then I'm a mess 2 days later so who knows) BUT I was talking to a really good friend about my ex and how our relationship and I wasn't even attempting to like shit talk my ex, I was just sad about our anniversary so I was just talking about him and I was just stating our dynamic and things he would do/say to me and my friend just looked literally mortified as I was saying this shit. and that happened a lot when I would talk to my friends about him after we broke up but I knew all my friends hated him anyways and so I thought they were just going off not liking him. but this person was never around when my ex was and has no idea what he was like, all he knew was how much I desperately loved him and how much the breakup FUCKED me up and he just looked at me and was like "I'm so glad you're not with him anymore" and it was the first time it REALLY has sunk in with me how bad the emotional abuse was. I had to look back at everything I had just said and be like "wow I really let all of that shit happen to me"

I've gone between being crazy and angry and knowing he was abusive but being too angry to rationalize why and therefore just acting insane, to feeling guilty that he had to deal with me and my mental illness and guilty that I hurt him and that he treated me like that because I deserved it and just being sad I didn't have him anymore and that it was my fault but like I feel like I now fully understand that I don't have to feel guilty for shit.

Him thinking something happened that didn't isn't my fault. And I've tried to reflect on the things I DID do wrong in the relationship so I won't be that way with someone else in the future and because I want to fix my bad behaviors and like yes, I emotionally invested myself into other people who wanted to give me attention and care because I wasn't getting that from him and I let other people treat me in ways that I myself didn't even feel respected that I knew were wrong because I had a partner and that's something I will not let happen again for my own sake and my future partner's sake but I can't feel guilty for wanting emotional comfort and to be told I was beautiful and loved by other people because my own boyfriend refused to do anything that made me feel that way. He wouldn't even so much as like my Instagram photos LOL. And don't even get me started on how he would treat me when I was doing sex work (he was literally one of those dudes who would tell me I was cheating on him by being a sex worker and selling nudes and wouldn't let me go in public in a revealing shirt but was obsessed with porn and kept pics of naked girls on his phone lol)!

Like I look back and try on reflect on the bad things I was doing and thinking about why he left me and why I felt like I needed to constantly fight for his attention and love and in reality it was never me. There was nothing I could have done. I revolved every aspect of my life around him. I would have done ANYTHING for him. I ate, slept, breathed, bowed down to david and that was my life. It was so horribly unhealthy that I dedicated every aspect of my life to this person who constantly pushed me away and made it known how unloved and unwanted I was who just lived their own life away from me and I just existed there when they were lonely. I was a chore for him when he was the only thing I had. I pushed my friends away for him, wanted to sacrifice leaving all my friends and family behind to live across the country with him, I revolved my whole day around when I would be able to talk to him, all my plans around when I would see him, everything. And he always made me feel like so much as HAVING to come see me or HAVING to talk to me was work for him when he could be living a totally different life without the annoyance and burden of my mental illness or even my love. He would hold times he came to see me against me when I would get upset that we hadn't seen eachother. there was a time that we hadn't seen eachother for four months and he kept telling me he didn't have money to see me and I would beg him to let me pay to come see him and he kept telling me no and then literally IN THE SAME BREATH tried buying a plane ticket to try and see another girl and had the fucking AUDACITY to say that I was abusive because I got mad at him for it ....

There were so many worse and fucked up things that I am just so stunned at myself for tolerating. I was so blinded by how much I loved him that I let so many horrible things slide. Like the fact that a girl messaged me the first year of our relationship that he was sending her nudes and shit and I didn't even bring it up for almost two years because I was so hurt that I couldn't even process it, and I'm pretty sure because of future events that were really confusing/unexplained regarding my health, he was probably sleeping with her!!! Or the fact that when I was sexually assaulted by my boss and he told me it was my fault and I let it go and we were sitting in a coffee shop this past January and he literally said - to my fucking face - "I know I've said some really fucked up things to you, like what I said about your boss or whatever but that doesn't make me a bad guy" and I literally didn't even know how to react, like he just brushed it off as if he told me he didn't like a dress I was wearing. Or there's the simple fact that he would constantly invalidate my mental health issues and call me annoying and pull a "here we go again" or "can we just have a normal day" when I would have an episode or simply express my feelings...... like imagine living every day of your life struggling with a psychotic mental illness with no money for therapy or meds just for the one person who is supposed to be your support and safety telling you they want to leave you and don't love you every time you're sad because that's so much easier than dealing with it.

OR THERES THE WHOLE FUCKING THING WHERE HE LEFT ME BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT DIDNT HAPPEN and continued to remain in my life after he left me because he wanted to fuck me knowing how attached I was so he could. He literally broke up with me for "cheating on him" (when in reality it was an easy way out of a relationship he never wanted to be in) (and let us not forget he cheated on me years before this) and yet... still talked to me and was telling me how hot I was and how he still wanted to fuck me and then one day cut me off and deleted every picture of me and untagged every photo I ever tagged him in on every social media site (because he's a literal sociopath) and blocked my number with no explanation and I know now it's because the guy who he thinks I was seeing messaged him saying some dumb shit and lied to me about it but

A) I literally showed David my messages between us and proved I didn't have any interest in this person sexually and every time I let this dude in my life was because David told me he didn't want to be with me and didn't love me and I needed emotional support from having my boyfriend consistently break up with me or "need a break from me" - especially when I was going through sexual abuse that I was told was my fault

and

B) EVEN IF I FUCKING DID I SHOULD HAVE CHEATED ON THIS FUCKER FOR HOW THE FUCK I GOT TREATED

like it literally feels like my whole body is on fire every time I talk about this. Both dudes were so fucking horrible and shitty and I just ..... loved and cared and wanted to be loved back so badly that I literally let all this shit happen and it's my own fault for being dumb enough to trust people who did nothing but hurt me from the beginning. and so this is a HUGE learning and growing process for me and I just won't trust people anymore, I will not give people second chances. also will not EVER let myself be treated like this again. I was so horrible mentally this entire relationship because I loved this person so much who would straight up tell me to my face they didn't love me and would manipulate me all of the time and CONSTANTLY made it seem like it was my fault this was happening. and got out of this relationship with me looking like a horrible person and not taking one fucking ounce of responsibility for anything he did to me because now he has some fucking "cover up" because apparently "cheating" looks worse than blatant emotional abuse.

Nothing about any of that relationship was healthy. And I still love him so much and I think about him every single day and I miss parts of him and that relationship so much but none of that ever could have been worth the shit I put up with. Getting cheated on, ignored, taking for granted, told I wasn't loved, not helped when I was dealing with a trauma, I deserve fucking better and I will stop allowing myself to feel guilty for something that I didn't do. I WILL STOP ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL GUILTY FOR SOMETHING I DIDNT DO. I deserve better. I DESERVE BETTER. I deserve love. I DESERVE LOVE.

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illustir · 5 years

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Highlights for How not to hate your husband after kids

Fisher says there is brain evidence that when women are under stress (say, a new baby has colic), they are inclined to “tend and befriend” (become more empathetic and social), while men under stress are apt to withdraw.

A study of heterosexual couples led by Shiri Cohen, a couples therapist and psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School, revealed that women reported feeling much happier when their male partners understood that they were angry or upset. “This research bore out what I see every day with couples,” Cohen tells me. “When the man can register his wife’s negative feelings, and communicate that on some level, the wife feels better, because she knows that ‘Oh, he gets how I’m feeling.’” She points out that, conversely, men do not derive the same satisfaction in knowing that their wives are upset. “Research shows that men tend to retreat from what feels like conflict to them, because they tend to physiologically get much more negatively aroused,” she said, “so conflict feels way more intense for them.”

so women have better memory and social cognition skills, making them better equipped for multitasking and creating solutions that can work within a group.

Brené Brown calls this tendency to project a motive onto someone without actually knowing the facts “the story I’m making up.”

No surprise there—but the mind-boiling part is that men’s stress levels fell if they kicked back with some sort of leisure activity—but only if their wives kept busy doing household tasks at the same time

meanwhile, found that married couples’ wounds actually healed more slowly when they had hostile arguments compared with so-called low-hostile couples. The stress from a fallout, they discovered, drove up blood levels of hormones that interfere with the delivery of proteins called cytokines, which aid the immune system during injuries.

“Tom, what you’re not getting, and this is true for most men I see, is that it is in your interest to move beyond your knee-jerk selfishness and entitlement and to take good care of your wife, so she isn’t such a raving lunatic all the time.”

“But the idea that you can haul off and be abusive to your partner and somehow get a pass, that you can’t control it, or whatever you tell yourself to rationalize it, is nuts. Also, your whole ‘angry victim’ role is going to get worse. You are extremely comfortable with your self-righteous indignation.”

We construct a plan for his phone to issue a spate of reminders before all school pickups.

A week later, Tom’s crisis negotiation skills are required yet again. It is a school morning, and he is sleeping in after a late night of binge-watching a Swedish crime series. I am up at 6 a.m. with our daughter, making her breakfast and lunch, supervising her homework, ordering a replacement water bottle after she somehow lost hers at school, filling out a form for a class trip, and baking carrot muffins for Tom.

“Men often do best if they know exactly what to do.” Do not use moralistic or shaming language, he continues, which only brings on defensiveness.

Tell your spouse that changing his behavior will directly benefit him because you will be happier and more relaxed.

I’ve learned to be protective of my time, just as my husband is.

“Both boys and girls learn that mothers have needs, too, which is also very important if they have children of their own,”

Those drained respondents negotiated their responsibilities anew every day, starting from scratch—as Tom and I had been doing. This cracked system trapped the participants in an exhausting cycle of “requests and avoidance of these requests.” Conversely, spouses who knew exactly what to do around the house didn’t spend as much time negotiating responsibilities and didn’t tend to monitor and criticize each other. Not surprisingly, “their daily lives seemed to flow more smoothly.”

“So my question to you is, if he waits that long, what does it cost you, other than your obsessive need to not have it pile up? What’s it actually costing you?”

Please, snorts couples therapist Esther Perel. “One important intervention for my clients who are mothers that overmanage—who are overwrought not by difficult life circumstances but by the culture of perfection that has captured parenthood—is that I tell them to go away for the weekend,” she says. I admit to her that I am that over-managing mother. “Then go away alone, go with your friends, go away with someone you haven’t seen in ages!” she says.

The Gottmans categorize couples as masters and disasters. Masters look purposefully for things they can appreciate and respect about their partner; disasters monitor their mates for what they are doing wrong so they can criticize them. Intent on being a relationship master, I order a stack of their books.

This means voicing what the Gottmans call the “three As”: affection, appreciation, and admiration.

When Tom is reading the paper, for example, he occasionally comments, “Hmm, that’s interesting.” This is a “bid,” a sometimes-subtle appeal for attention. If I reply, “Oh, what are you reading?” this response is what Gottman calls “turning toward” my partner—I have given him the encouragement he’s seeking. If I ignore his bid, I am “turning away” from Tom.

My friend Jenny, mother of two, tells her husband that saying “thank you” is the ultimate cheap buy-in. “The average mom does a hell of a lot,” she says. “And unlike at work or school, at home, rarely is anyone saying, ‘Good job.’

Of course, I am still “household manager,” constantly reminding Tom to do fundamental things such as feed the kid breakfast—but he does it.

Sometimes he even says, “Need a hand?”

Oh, that must feel bad. I can see why you feel like that. What can I say or do right now to make you feel better? It’s calculated, but who cares?

One girl mentioned that every morning when she left for school, her father would say, “You go, tiger—you go get them.”

Father-initiated playdates are fairly rare, but they’re important, particularly for daughters.

Research shows that doing chores makes children thrive in countless ways, and is a proven predictor of success,

She found that having children take an active role in the household, starting at age three or four, directly influenced their ability to become well-adjusted young adults.

Those who began chores at three or four were more likely to have solid relationships with their families and friends, to be self-sufficient, and to achieve academic and early professional success.

three-quarters of the garages they studied were so crammed with junk, the homeowners couldn’t store cars

He laughs and says he understands. He explains that he isn’t suggesting that women should pump up the male ego—rather, that the need to feel appreciated is universal. Who among us does not love praise and kindness?

ad for Ariel India, a Procter & Gamble laundry detergent brand

When she was unhappy about making the lengthy commute to her daughter Jennifer’s preschool, her husband, then the chief executive of Microsoft, said he would drive Jennifer two days a week.

If a fight is brewing, start with “I” statements.

Say “Thank you,” and say it often.

All of those gestures—and I’m aware they were mostly gestures—took a total of a few hours, but she was thrilled, it deepened their relationship, and the goodwill he received from me lasted for weeks.

Especially, I would add here, if you can find a therapist who yells at your husband, “Stop with your entitled attitude, get off your ass, and help her out!”

The FBI’s methods of paraphrasing and emotion labeling are remarkably effective.

via English – alper.nl https://ift.tt/2zJXG8w

#IFTTT #English – alper.nl

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