#jounin obito my beloved | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

erumai-maadu · 3 years

Note

what are your feelings on *that* konoha 11 members death?

I HATE IT! and I shall rant under the cut but it got really long lmfaooo

Neji’s death was so stupid and went against his entire character arc.

Hinata jumped in front of Naruto to take the blow, and that’s in-character for her since that’s also what she did during the Naruto v. Pain fight, so I have no problems with that part. Then Neji jumps in front of her to take the blow in her stead, and that’s where the issues start. Naruto’s line as Neji is dying sums it up perfectly.

“Why? Why did you do this here? You were going to change the Hyuuga!”

From the beginning, Neji’s arc has been about rising above his place as a Branch member. One of the things members of the Branch are expected to do is sacrifice themselves for the Main House. Branch members’ lives belonged to the Main House, and that’s why Neji called himself a caged bird. He would only be free of belonging to the Main House if he died. After his fight with Naruto, he started to live for himself and his goal became changing the Hyuuga so that he (and other branch members) could live for themselves.

And for a while, that happens! He makes jounin, gains Hiashi’s favor, and even becomes commander of the Hyuuga clan during the war (which should normally be done by the clan head). He seemed to be well on his path to his goal of changing the clan.

And then he sacrifices himself for Hinata, a member of the Main House, literally tossing his entire arc out of the window and just proving the earlier version of himself right. Good job Kishimoto. Splendid writing.

And then the naruhina moment after his death.

Listen, I love naruhina with all my heart (canon did them so fucking dirty but that’s a different rant) and I’ve shipped them since I first watched the original Naruto.

That being said, having that naruhina moment RIGHT AFTER NEJI DIED was so unbelievably stupid that it’s no wonder a good portion of the fandom hates them for that. You kill a beloved character and then go for a ship moment right after? Hello? Who okayed this??

Side note: I hate Neji’s death but I just have to appreciate how Obito fucking wrecked Naruto afterward. “Didn’t you say you wouldn’t let your friends die, Naruto? Those words, ‘I’ll never let my comrades die’... now look around you and say them again!” that was fucking brutal. Just threw Naruto’s words right back in his face while he looked around at a battlefield of dead bodies.

I understand that someone had to get Naruto out of his funk after Obito literally destroyed his worldview but did they have to hold hands? Hinata should have pulled him out of that without the romantic framing, because she’s grieving too! She lost her brother! It’s a disservice to Neji’s whole character and especially to his bonds with Hinata and Naruto to turn his death into the setup for a ship moment.

Then, Team Gai’s reaction. Lee’s reaction was fine, but I’m furious about Tenten’s. She was upset that Neji died... because now she has to deal with Gai and Lee alone. And then sheds a single tear.

What. The. Fuck.

It doesn’t matter who you ship Neji with or who you ship Tenten with, if anyone, you can acknowledge that at the very least, those two were close friends with a strong bond, just like Neji and Lee.

So then why the hell didn’t Tenten get an impactful scene about Neji’s death? Sure, she can repress her emotions, they’re in a war, after all. It was the same sentiment Hinata expressed to Naruto, that there will be time to mourn later. So at the very least, Tenten should have gotten something after the war, or during a lull in the war where she breaks down and cries about the loss of her friend and teammate.

Instead, she got a single fucking tear and a complaint that she’d have to deal with Lee and Gai on her own. Bullshit.

You know who should have died for Hinata? Hiashi. It’s the perfect conclusion to her familial arc that was abandoned in favor of Neji getting an apology from Hiashi (ah misogyny, you rear your ugly head once again).

Hinata’s familial arc was that her father and the Elders thought that she was worthless and would never be strong. Her father passed her over as heir and said all sorts of terrible things to her, but he never apologized or even acknowledged any of that!

Because of all the stuff that he’s done to her throughout her life, treating both his daughters like shit, but especially Hinata (I’m willing to bet her anxiety and low level of confidence are from him), it would have been a good moment to have him die for her. It wouldn’t have redeemed him, but at the very least, it’d be him acknowledging that he was an awful father to his daughters and trying to make amends in the only way he knew how.

Hiashi sacrificing himself would complete Neji’s arc too in that a Main House member (actually, he’s THE main house member, he’s the head of the whole fuckin clan) died for a Branch member, and would have been the perfect catalyst for dismantling that system entirely, which should have been the conclusion of Neji’s arc.

Long story short, Neji’s death is a terrible thing and it fucked over the arc of every member of the Hyuuga family.

In the end, Kishimoto just proved Neji’s old beliefs right: That it is the fate of the Branch to die for the Main House.

#nart spoilers #neji hyuga #hinata hyuga #hiashi hyuga #tenten #asks

60 notes · View notes

datiyaknowsshit · 4 years

Text

Utuber x Naruto

Some crossover that nobody ask for here we go!

First up, our beloved boy, Pewdiepie!

Name: Felix/Pewdiepie

Age: 29 (At the start of Naruto)

Gender: Male

Rank: Jounin

Relationships: Kakashi’s best friend, Naruto’s sworn brother

Personalities: Felix is cheerful and friendly so most of the village really like him. Also he is very equaly so when he saw Naruto is being bullied by the villagers and kids, he stepped in and made friend with the kid.

Appearance: Felix is blonde and he has blue eyes, he normally wear Konohagakure’ Jounin uniform, but when he is off he usually just wear t shirt and jeans.

Skills:

- Felix is a swordman, his ninjutsu are pretty good too. His main elements are Fire and Lightning.

- He has 2 pugs are Maya and Edgar, he adopted them when he was still a Chunin and after they recover he realized that their intelligent are far from normal dogs. So he got 2 ninja guard dogs after that incident.

Story:

- Felix graduated the academy when he was 11, he got promoted to Chunin when he was 13 and a Jounin when he was 17.

- His parents passed out because of the war since he was just a Genin.

- Felix beat the shit out of Kakashi after Obito and Rin death so somehow they get along after that fight, they even became bestfriend. Kakashi also choose to hide inside Felix apartment whenever he was chased by Gai or he just happened to finished a mission. Felix just ignored that after the third broke out Kakashi did with his poor window.

- After one time Felix saw Naruto goi kicked out by a shopkeeper, he spoke up for the kid and brought him home and took care of Naruto. They became friends after that and Naruto also decided to dropped by often.

- Kakashi used Felix to get his stuff to Naruto and also asked about him.

- Felix sometimes hang out with the Inuzuka kid cuz he has Edgar and Maya.

- Felix also usually joins the Jounin group who has to in charge of a genin team even though he doesn't have any. But with his bright personality, he got in real quick and got invited to every single meeting.

===========

About Pewz, i think i will put him in the Konohagakure just because that is the place where tons of shit happened which suit the chaotic live that Pewz has lmao.

Next up, my bias in this Utuber fandom, Cryaotic babe!

Name: Cryaotic/Cry/Chaoticmonkey (old name)

Age: 29 (At the start of Naruto)

Gender: Male

Rank: Jounin

Relationships: Sand siblings' uncle (yes, he is Yashamaru =)) Karura’ brother, Rasa’ brother-in-law

Personality: Cry is a cheerful and funny ninja, he talks and also jokes alots. But Cry has a darkside, Mad Cry is what they call him when he snaps. Mad usually has an insane laugh and he takes killing a fun hobby. Mad doesn’t usually appears but once he’s out, no one that is aganst him make out alive.

Appearance: Cry is blone, his up face is covered by a white round mask that has SupGuy face on it. It also changes due to his emotion.

Skills:

- Cry mostly uses Kunai and Explosive tags in the battle, his taijutsu is weak.

- He can uses almost every ninjutsu due to Sup Guys abilities (which are the cretures that he signed a contract when he was on a Genin mission). They can copy other appearances, voices and even ninjutsu to their chakra system. But most of the successful missions are because of Cry’s acts.

- But Mad is incredibly good at taijutsu, from speed to skill are almost perfect. Someone even said that he might catch up the Yellow Lightning speed of Konohagakure.

Story:

- Cryaotic is famous in the third ninja world war because his undercovering skills, he graduated academy when he was 11 and got promoted to Chunin at the same year.

- Cry got to Jounin when he was 18, not because he is too weak to be Jounin, but he mostly not around village to be promoted, Cry got sent out for undercover most of the third ninja world war. His mission are mostly A rank, even S rank because of the importance of the mission and information he might get.

- Kids like Cry alots, so Temari and Kankuro really love their uncle. After Karura died gave birth to Gaara, he has sworn that he will protect her child no matter what.

- When Chiyo-baa decided to sealed Ichibi inside Gaara, Cry is the only one who spoke up, he even smashed the table loudly made the whole room went silent, but most of them didn’t want to stop him because they all hear of blood thirsty ‘Mad Cry’

- After the meeting, they decided to made Cry be the babysitter for Gaara after he got sealed. While he couldn't fought all of the villagers, he still helped the Sand’ siblings get along.

- Cry even explained why Gaara got avoided and help him talk to Ichibi (which make Cry in deep shit for a while but he didn’t give a fuk)

- Because of Cry’ help, when Gaara got bullied by the kids, Temari and Kankuro have protected him. And hell yeah he is fukin proud of them. Rasa can goes fuk himself, these kids can protect them and they are happy about that.

- When Rasa ordered Cry to kill Gaara, Cry literally just said “fuk off, he is my nephew and your fukin son” but also he explained about Gaara is learning to control Ichibi and they are no match for him, which made someone kill him could drove him into the corner and he might went insane. So Rasa has to agreed.

- After the sand sibling got to Genin rank, their Jounin is Cry.

===========

Why Cry is replace of both Yashamaru and Baki you might ask.

First of all, Cry is already an amazing uncle you can not change my mind.

Second of all, Baki in Naruto is a dick.

Third of all, Gaara deserved a better childhood

Last of all, I love sand siblings.

Also, Mad Cry <3

#pewdiepie #cryaotic #naruto #kakashi #gaara #temari #kankuro #old as shit fandom #also one of my friend lowkey ship PewzKaka i don't understand why #Rasa is being a dick #I love him but he should stop being a dick #Rasa in Naruto Shippuden is lovely but not Naruto #also sorry of those broken english i got u guys into #and it's 3 a.m. why am i doing this #youtube

15 notes · View notes

ayamashie · 5 years

Text

Hi alll. Please take some time to read this one shot. It's dedicated to kaka sensei. Happy birthday sensei. ❤️🎉

Imagine how bitter it would be. To hear all his friends and their parent talk shit about his father. And after that hard day coming home and finding his father with his wrists slit open, lying in HIS dojou. It was where he trained after his academy classes and his father knew it damn well.

He could have done it elsewhere too. Why his training place. Other than that question, his mind was blank.

It was like his father wanted Kakashi to feel pity for him. But it was all anger Kakashi felt.

“Damn you old man.” Kakashi mumbled under his breath. He felt his vision getting blurry by each passing second. He felt tears trickle down his cheek only to be absorbed by the soft cotton of his mask.

"sakumo San" a familiar voice reached his ears. It was low and he chose not to listen to it. He failed to notice the panic in the voice that called out his father's name multiple times. The voice kept getting louder and louder, but he couldn't even move his lips to reply to that voice. His eyes fixated on the body that was almost balled up in front of him. It was as if his father was trying to hug his knees to his chest as death came to him, slowly dragging his life out him.

" kakashi ku-.... Oh my god" the door of the dojou slid with a fast, high pitch screeching sound. But, He couldn't even turn to look at the man who slid it open. Nor cry out loud as the man came from behind him and hugged him closer to his body dragging away from the dead body of his father. The only parent he got left. Not anymore....

Losing friends are common. You lose them all the time. Because they aren't worthy of you. But ever watch a friend die in front if of your face because you are too weak to protect him.

“Take care of rin for me kakashi.” That soft voice still kept echoing in his ears as tears stringed his eyes.

He only could wish if he was stronger as he tried to push away the large boulder on his friend’s body. It was just like the time he saw his father on the dojou floor, in a river of blood that flowed from his wrist. The feeling was bitter.

Don't die don't die don't die DON'T YOU FUCKING DIE ON ME UCHIHA OBITO... his heart kept shouting as he tears cascaded down his face.. Only if he had mastered his lightning cut technique to cut through the large boulder that was crushing the right side of his best friends.

It was hard for him to grab Rin’s hand and climb out of that small cave leaving his best friend to be crushed. But it was Obito’s last wish. His best friend's last wish from him was to protect his love. He couldn't let her die there. Where was minato sensei. How can he be not here when they needed him the most? He cursed under his breath as he climbed out of the cave only to be surrounded more of enemy shinobi. The heart of his that was healed when uchiha obito spoke softly and so right about his deceased father, was now broken again. So many pieces. So many tiny pieces that will be so difficult to gather even if he put an effort to pick them up.

He had a hard childhood. Growing into a teenager wasn't easy either. Not when the person who he tried to protect the most pierced herself into his hand. He still can feel the warmth of her body as he cut her right through her heart and the way she dangled from his hand with her eyes staring into his, as death came to her in the most painful way imaginable.

He saw her gasp as the blood spurt from her mouth as she choked on her own blood gasping for a breath scratching kakashi’s arm with a horrified look on her face only a few inches away from His face.

Bitter... It was bitter again. He cried out her name loudly as he grabbed her shoulder to pull his hand out of her chest. The blood. It was everywhere he looked. His hands, his clothes, her body, her face. Her wide eyes, her expression less face. Her.... Rin...

It was too much.... He couldn't. He felt his heart rate hype up but his eyes closing. He felt knees go weak as he tried to sit... But... Alas... Now he lays right beside the girl who loved him so much and chose to die in his hands to save their village from imminent devastation.

He woke up almost every night after that. Drenched in sweat with his body shaking violently making it almost difficult for him to run to the sink.

He threw up first. And then then the crying and wailing came.

“It won't wash away.” His sobs were drowned in to the dangerously silent darkness of night. He rubbed the sponge on his hand until the skin came off and it was red again. Red and bloody... Just like the nightmare he couldn't get rid of.

They say the birth of a kid always brings happiness to the world. He felt the happiness. After all he watched after a pregnant jinchuriki. Wife of his sensei, the fourth Hokage. It was fun for him to watch after her. Kushina was certainly an interesting person. She loved him as if he was her child and thanked him for watching after her. She would buy him stuff no matter how much he tried convincing her otherwise. They would joke around together as they walked in the roads of Konoha. She did even let him feel the little human inside her kicking and having its fun. At the night as he stood guard by his sensei's house, he sometimes caught them getting a bit handsy after dinner. He clearly looked away and moved his position, but it was okay right. that's what lovers do. His sensei loved his wife and that was one thing he believed and one thing he thought was good and pure in this cruel world. It made the broken pieces of his heart happy. Maybe one day he will also find a love like that.

And then came that night. His sensei released him from his duties and asked him to go rest. And that he would have done that if he didn't encounter his new best friend. Gai. He was difficult. Very difficult. All. He wanted was to beat Kakashi in one way or the other. He enjoyed gai's company. Being with Gai helped him to take his mind off certain things.

“yuhi-san lord fourth and his wife is dead” as soon as the words left chunin’s mouth all the eyes of the young shinobi that were gathered in one corner of the village were on Kakashi again. He turned to Gai, as he grabbed kakashi’s shoulder with a tight grip that would hurt him of he was in his right mind.

Kakashi felt his throat closing. At the same time he felt the dango he ate the last around an hour ago making its way back to his throat. He couldn’t swallow or push away the weight on his chest.

Bitter. It was that familiar feeling again that engulfed him. He could hear the soft mumbled of the kids and Gai’s voice calling out for him to snap out of it in the back of his head. Even the loudest sound felt like a whisper right now.

He wasn’t the first one to rush to the ground where the demon fox has mercilessly murdered his sensei and his wife.

Blood again. It was everywhere. He saw kushina on a chunin’s hand. Sandaime sat in front of her calling out for a medic loudly. His glance then turn to the still body of his sensei. So still and bloody.

He mustered all the power in him and tried to move. Tried to walk towards his beloved sensei now laying on the ground a large hole in the middle of his body and some of his internal organs hanging out of that hole.

No way. No way was he dead. He is the yellow flash for crying out loud. Kakashi tried to tell himself even though he clearly saw the jounin medic sitting in front of minato ran his hands on minato’s face before covering it with a white piece of cloth.

All… all he held dear. All he held so close to his heart always managed to perish one way or the other. He lost them one by one. Life was cruel. He learned it at a very tender age. So, he decided to become crueler. He decoded he wouldn’t let anyone in. he decided to close himself up and have no feelings towards anyone or anything. His job at the root made him live by those rules. Most of the missions being killing, robbing and cleaning up after crimes, he was surrounded with darkness. Every day new, thicker vines grew around him isolating him from the real world, and he... he let the thick black vines engulf him.

Until… those three. Who cut through the vines and made it in his life to drag him out of the darkness. Who gave a new meaning to his life. It was true all three of them are different in their own ways. It was messed up in a lot of ways before and but now when he looks at them. Pride as all he could fee. The hokage the shadow hokage and the number one medic in the world. Those three. Who will always hold a special place in his heart. And never in life, he is losing them...

#kakashi hatake #kakashi #naruto #Pain #Rin #Obito #Minato #Team 7 #team 7 naruto #Team 7 fanfiction #kakashi fanfiction

12 notes · View notes

ekourege · 6 years

Text

Original Version of rewrite

Kakashi's an Enabler, Alternatively titled; Why Does Naruto Keep Giving Him All These Damn Plants; or, it's Kakashi's Birthday

Rated T for profanity

No pairings, only fluff and friendship.

Summary: “Naruto and his penchant for plants coincide with his stealth skills, and Kakashi ends up saddled with more greenery than he can really handle. (Slight AU, small amounts of angst. One-shot.)”

Rewrite is here

Slight AU here, there's some reference to Kakashi actually training Team Seven, and that's pretty much completely out of character for him. (or maybe it's exactly in character?)

It started right after Kakashi had barely passed Team Seven.

He went about his usual routine; get up, feed his ninken, check his ninja supplies, and go to the memorial stone and reminisce. It made him late for his team meeting, but didn't that just make it more fun for him? Genin team or no, he had a routine, and he would stick by it. Besides, no one would call him out if he showed up a little later than usual.

It really was a nice day out. Maybe he could stroll to the bridge instead of taking the rooftops?

It was 10:30 AM when the copy-nin strolled into the designated meeting place of Team Seven. Kakashi pulled out his Icha Icha Paradise novel and jumped into a tree to observe his genin bicker and prickle with irritation with his untimely manner. Kakashi had expected to hear complaints about his chronic lateness, or Naruto fighting with Sasuke and talking about his 'awesomeness' while Sakura insulted the blonde, and fawned over Sasuke, who ignored her in turn. Really, just how had he passed this team again?

This was not to be, it seemed.

Sakura and Sasuke had called a temporary truce and had huddled close to each other for support. While Naruto emphatically badgered them about their interests, hobbies, and any other essential information he could think of. From what the gray-haired man could tell, he'd been bothering them for a while now, going by the way Sasuke was looking practically homicidal, which only happened if you managed to annoy him long enough, while Sakura's hand was twitching constantly, which meant that railing Naruto wasn't working.

It was when Naruto started shaking Sasuke's shoulders, obviously irritated that no one was answering his questions, and Sasuke started to make the hand signs for a Katon Jutsu, Kakashi interfered. Appearing with a plume of smoke, book in hand, Kakashi called out a gleeful, "Yo!"

At first, it seemed to work, Naruto backed away and the murderous irritation on Sasuke's face lessened while Sakura looked somewhat relieved, calling out a fairly tame, "You're late!" in reprimand. Naruto did too, in purely Naruto-esque fashion, which included jumping up and down and punching the air. Honestly, manipulating them was way too easy, he'd have to fix that somehow. He'd rather not see his cute genin die because some other ninja took advantage of their vulnerability.

However, immediately after that, Naruto did a complete 180 and invaded his personal space for information; shouldn't it have been apparent on the first day that he wasn't going to reveal anything about himself?

"Sensei! Sensei! What's your favorite food? Least favorite? D'ya have any pets, besides your ninken... do ninken even count as pets? If so, what're their names? Favorite color? You never actually told us anything about yourself besides your name, so! Is your hair dyed or did you go grey early? Sensei, c'mon! I want to know, 'ttebayo!"

Kakashi felt the urge to switch places with Sakura using a kawarimi, but only raised his hands in defense of his personal bubble before waving off the questions with a well placed, "Maa, yes, I do, but we should really get to today's lesson, don't you think?"

Naruto frowned, brows furrowing, "But Sensei! We're a team! We have to know these things about each other!"

Kakashi just hummed and turned away, "Do we?"

"Yes!" Naruto hollered, pointing at him defiantly.

Kakashi rubbed his mask covered chin, appearing to think about it for a second, "Hmm, well, let's get to today's lesson, shall we? Sasuke, Sakura, head over to the stumps, there's a Katon Jutsu I'd like you both to attempt today. Naruto, gather some leaves, we need to work on your chakra control…"

And that was that.

(If only he'd turned around and seen his blonde genin's eyes glint before following the rest of Team Seven with a pout.)

There was something they'd forgotten about Naruto: his sheer stubbornness. When Naruto set his eyes on something, he bulldozed anything that got in his way; no matter how impossible it may seem, or how high the odds were stacked against him until the knucklehead achieved whatever he was after, he wouldn't stop. Naruto with a goal was an inescapable force of nature.

Kakashi honestly hadn't thought of Naruto's information gathering attempt for months, after that initial time it was never brought up again, so they'd all quickly put it out of their minds. Therefore, it was one hell of a shock when Naruto started spouting off private information on his teammates. He even had information on Kakashi himself! Though the strangest thing was, Naruto wasn't even bragging or talking about himself, he wasn't giving away how he got this knowledge at all. He was just casually revealing classified information.

Oh, god. How'd the brat get his hands on his old mission reports? Sakura whacked Naruto on the head with the broom she was using to sweep an elderly couple's porch when he told everyone their Zodiacs. Kakashi himself is apparently a Leo.

He felt a great amount of satisfaction at the lump that formed on Naruto's head, chuckling before burying his nose in his new copy of Icha Icha: Make Out. (His old copy had gotten burnt up by a stray fireball from Sasuke during a spar with Naruto. Kakashi had spared him no mercy for that, the proceeding spar was brutal for him: hell hath no fury like a porn book burned.)

It was supposed to have been a normal D-rank, they were supposed to hear whining and frustrated yelling from Naruto, not have their life's stories revealed! It was really starting to freak Kakashi out just how much dirt Naruto suddenly seemed to have on him.

Kakashi was internally freaking out about all the irresponsible things Naruto could possibly do with all the embarrassing missions and information on him. Naruto had a mischievous streak a mile wide, and Kakashi shivered at the thought of what Naruto could do at his (and Sasuke's) expense.

It was only when Naruto started speaking about his past, about Team Minato and Kannabi Bridge, he thought it time to step in. (and quickly, he doesn't like even mentioning Kannabi bridge. Too many memories.)

"And then Sensei's Teammate - Obito Uchiha -"

Kakashi inhaled, stiffening imperceptibly and interrupting with a sharp, "Naruto."

Naruto startled, sending Kakashi an annoyed glare over his shoulder, while Sakura and Sasuke sent each other a look and subtly tried to vacate the premises. Sakura didn't stand too close to Sasuke though, he knew too many embarrassing things about her and she needed time to recover from her mortification before she tried to pursue her beloved again. Naruto cocked his head to the side and stared at his sensei while he tried to continue weeding the garden, "Yes, Sensei? I'm trying to tell Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme about your past, it's need-to-know info!"

Kakashi twitched, leaning over Naruto and releasing a bit of killing intent, "Where did you learn this information?"

Naruto averted his eyes and started sweating. "Uh.."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed, "Did the Hokage tell you?" (If so, Kakashi and Tsunade would have words, Hokage or no.)

Naruto's face twisted with bewilderment, looking at his sensei as if he was stupid, "Of course not! The Hokage can't reveal one of their citizen's personal information without consent!"

"Then why do you know these things?" the copy-nin accused, hands on his hips.

Naruto cringed, hesitating before answering with a tense, "I, uh, read your files."

Kakashi's eyes widened, and so did his other two genin's, who quickly snapped to attention at the admission. "Y-you, what?"

(He couldn't've, he couldn't, he wears bright orange and won't ever shut up, that's got to be a lie. It can't be true.)

Naruto sat fully onto the ground next to the partially weeded garden, looking wearily at his team, "We're a team, we need to know these things about each other! What if we accidentally said something that hurt one another but we didn't know because we didn't know like, anything about each other! We're like strangers! So, I made it my mission to stop that from happening, you're welcome, dattebayo!" Naruto broke off with a mumble that sounded like, "Besides, it's not like it's hard to get that sort of stuff anyway."

The (mostly) sane members of Team Seven just stared, slightly dazed, as they tried to picture a ninja in neon orange breaking into the archive under the Hokage Tower, before calling out in varying degrees of disbelief, "No, you?!"

"That's got to be a lie, idiot."

"Naruto, that's not a very funny joke."

Naruto bristled, huffing and crossing his arms, "Well, you guys weren't telling me anything and I needed to find out somehow! So, I broke into the archive and read your files, simple! It's not like it's a big deal or anything, everyone can do it!" Naruto took the time to glare at each member, clearly affronted by the fact they were dubious of his claim.

Kakashi snapped out of his stupor just as Naruto got tired of the awkward silence and turned back to his work of weeding the garden. He then scooped him up by the collar, ignoring Naruto's protests, and the handful of weeds that were chucked as his jounin vest, and marched him to the Hokage Tower. Mentally noting to talk to the Hokage about the obvious holes in security around the tower.

As his other two (thankfully obedient) genin followed behind him, Naruto's indignant complaints to Kakashi turned more and more nervous and hesitant, "Oi, Sensei! Sensei put me down!"

"...You're not gonna snitch are you?" (Oh, yes, he certainly was going to 'snitch'. The little devil deserved it, anyway.)

"...Sensei?"

"You're can't stop him, you know." Tsunade grunted, resigned.

Kakashi's mouth opened in shock, "B-but Tsunade-hime, you're the Hokage! Your word is the law!"

They were in the Hokage's office, Kakashi having dragged a pleading (for mercy) Naruto by the collar of his jumpsuit in, along with a faintly amused Sakura and Sasuke.

Naruto was seated in a chair in front of Tsunade's desk, sulking. The slouch and defiant look in Naruto's face turned immensely smug when he heard the Hokage's mournful response, sending Kakashi a smirk.

"Supposedly. The brat-" Naruto, the aforementioned genin, bristled and called Tsunade an old hag; and was sent crashing through the wall without the Hokage even sending a glance his way. Kakashi eye-smiled at Naruto, smirking beneath his mask. 'Serves the brat right.' "-gets into everything, chunin, jounin, ANBU, you name it. He can get into every important location in Konoha. If we close off one hole in our security, he'll find another way in. He's our security team's worst nightmare, and our intelligence division's wet dream.

Try all you want to get him to stop, Hatake. It will do nothing. I know, I've tried, even threatened to take him off active duty for a month when he burst into my office yelling about my heritage. Instead, he turned around and blackmailed me! I swear he knows everyone's secrets. There really is no escape." Tsunade finished, cutting herself off before she could rant any further, before sending a glare to the hole in the wall that Naruto was hauling himself out of, brushing rubble off his orange clothing.

Kakashi was stunned. Naruto, an ill-prepared genin who couldn't even do a bunshin, being able to successfully infiltrate the most heavily guarded buildings in Konoha, escape, and blackmail the fucking Hokage into letting him get away with it. It just wouldn't compute.

'God help Konoha.'

Naruto broke into arrogant, boisterous laughter. "Of course! I'm The Prankster King, dattebayo! To be that awesome ya have to know your pranking area inside out!" Naruto crowed, standing up and puffing his chest out.

"I can't believe Sensei put up with this…" Tsunade muttered, rifling through her desk drawers for some alcohol.

Naruto gestured flippantly to the painting of the Third on the wall, "Oh, Jiji and I made it a game! It was sort of like hide and seek, but more fun! I would hide somewhere and do a prank if he didn't find me in time, and if he caught me I had to help him with paperwork… he cheated using that crystal ball of his, though..."

Tsunade just put her head in her hands.

When Kakashi had awoken on September the fifteenth, he had gone about his regular routine. He got up, showered, put on his mask(s) and jounin vest, fed his ninken, made himself some coffee, and finally tied his hitai-ate over his left eye before heading for the Memorial Stone.

It was only when he got there that he remembered the significance of the date. It was his birthday.

'Oh, joy. If Gai finds out, he'll never leave me alone.'

Kakashi actually managed to get so paranoid about green spandex wearing men appearing out of nowhere, screaming about youth and doing a frankly alarming amount of pushups, that he cut his time at the Memorial Stone short, deciding to change up his routine in staving off the inevitable. Thinking a moment, and then heading towards that dango place Anko likes, he discreetly cast a henge on himself, making himself appear less noticeable. 'Sorry Sensei, Obito. It's Gai, you have to understand.'

The jounin, unfortunately, got a bit carried away with hiding from Gai, and when he next checked the clock, it was 1:30 PM; and he was about six hours late to his team meeting. Kakashi faltered from where he was munching on his fourth stick of dango, nearly choking on the dango he was taking a bite out of. This was actually a new record of unintentional tardiness, and the gray-haired man had to take a moment and be faintly impressed with himself. Before his genin hunt him down and slaughter him, he thought maybe he should probably get to his team meeting. Placing money for the dango on the counter, Kakashi high-tailed it for the bridge.

Kakashi appeared in front of an extremely annoyed Team Seven, who seemed to be plotting his murder? Ah, he'd probably left at a good time then. Kakashi nervously gave his complex excuse for the morning, shivering slightly when Sakura cracked her knuckles, Sasuke's eyes flared, and Naruto's eyes turned icy and calculating. Kakashi was screwed. Anyone and everyone who knew of Naruto's pranking days knew that Naruto only made that face when he was planning a revenge prank in the most humiliating way possible. He weathered the usual reprimands, Sasuke having joined in with particularly prickly comments directed towards his Precious Sensei. Ouch.

The jounin-ensei eye smiled at his genin and was about to make a witty comeback, but instead was met with a plant with the name "Mr. Ukki" scrawled messily across the rim of its pot shoved in his face, along with a cry of "Happy birthday Sensei!" from Naruto.

Kakashi blinked, then sighed exasperatedly and accepted the potted plant that was forced into his hands. He'd gotten used to Naruto's sneakiness and surprising aptitude for infiltration and stealth months ago, it didn't surprise him at all that Naruto knew his birthdate. Naruto hadn't really stopped at their files, which all seemed to fall into his hands somehow. He went above and beyond and searched for more things about them, and even started compiling information on his peers. Kakashi had no doubt in his mind that he'd probably read a lot of the higher ninja's psych evals, too.

As Kakashi adjusted the plant carefully, making sure not to squish or tear any of the leaves, Naruto stepped back and pursed his lips, fiddling with his hands before looking up, posture turning oddly small. There was an anxious look in his eyes, his body language showing restlessness and trepidation as he asked, "Do... do ya like it? It's called the "Cast-Iron" plant because It's a such a low maintenance plant, and since we're ninja and all... you'll probably forget to water it or give it proper sunlight sometimes because we'll be busy with ninja stuff. You need to keep the soil a bit wet, but it can stand a bit of neglect. Um, I thought maybe you'd like it, 'ttebayo."

Kakashi was tempted to pull out Icha Icha and ignore this display of vulnerability, but instead reached out and ruffled Naruto's messy hair, murmuring his thanks and eye smiling down at him. The tips of Naruto's ears turned red, and he spluttered, rubbing his neck. Sakura and Sasuke both held out their gifts for him, Sasuke looking reluctantly pleased with the surprised look in his eye. 'Maa… maybe I can go a little easier on them today.'

He accepted the gifts, tucking the wrapped packages into his vest for later, and called them to attention, starting that day's lesson.

When they stopped for a late lunch, (and took him to Ichiraku's, figures. The old ramen chef supplied them all with little party hats that wouldn't fit on his head due to his very spiky hair. Cute idea, but a bit degrading.) Kakashi opened the gifts from his other two genin, while Mr. Ukki the Plant sat upon the counter, green leaves shining proudly as he thanked Sasuke and Sakura. Directing them back to the training ground while Naruto footed the bill.

There was a warm feeling in his chest as he walked home; a plant, romance novel, ('Without porn!' Sakura had hastily told him before he could question how she managed to get her hands on it. He was a bit put off about it, but was appreciative nonetheless.) and a new package of masks cradled against his chest.

"My Eternal Rival!"

It had been such a good day, too.

Kakashi had settled Mr. Ukki on the window sill of his small apartment, watering it and taking as good care of it as he could.

So when Naruto, despite being away on that training trip with Jiraiya, sent him two plants for his birthday that next year, which arrived at his doorstep via Ninja Courrier while he was going through his regular routine, he cracked a little smile. He figured that the reason Naruto left two plants for him was because Sasuke was gone, and therefore couldn't send him one.

He still feels the little sting of betrayal when he thinks of Sasuke.

He places one plant, a Parlor Palm, onto his desk, while the other goes onto his bookshelf, which is an arrowhead vine, according to the label. He picks up the envelope that came along with it, and when he opens it up, two books fall out. One is a plant care manual, which is useful, while the other is… an Icha Icha book. A brand new Icha Icha book, if he's correct (which he is) and lets out a very un-shinobi-like noise when he opens it with glee, only to find that Jiraiya signed it! 'The brat's really outdone himself this year.' Kakashi mused fondly.

He can see from the corner of his eye that his ninken are looking at him and his book with contempt, but Kakashi's too immersed in his new copy of Icha Icha to really pay them any mind.

(He's a bit disappointed when the day idly ticks away without Sakura ever sending him anything, but that's okay. He has his ninken, he has his plants, - Kakashi's starting to think he understands why Naruto likes them so much -, and his Icha Icha. He's content, he's not lonely.)

The next couple years are much the same, the jounin receives a few new books on plant care, some plant supplies which are tucked away into a drawer, several new plants; even one made to hang from the ceiling, and the manuscript for the latest Icha Icha novel. Kakashi's starting to look forward to his birthdays, just a little. Even if Sakura's hasn't been to visit him a little over six months, and Sasuke's defection makes his heart ache a little, makes him a little more bitter, he's not lonely. He's got his plants (He understands, now. He does.), he's got Naruto's letters, Gai's challenges, and his ninken.

All in all, things are looking up. Right?

"Kakashi, I think you have a fucking problem." groans Raidou, who started to gripe at him as he was in the middle of regaling his plant excursions. Naruto had sent him some stalks of bamboo a couple weeks ago, along with some sunflower seeds.

Kakashi just looked at him blandly, "Hmm… what makes you think that?"

This time it's Asuma that chimes in, "It's all you ever talk about anymore, Kakashi. I don't know why one of your brats thought to get you a plant was a good idea, honestly."

Kakashi gains an air of mock-offense, before gazing at them all with hurt, muttering about "abuse" and "sacrilege".

When Naruto comes back for his training trip, he greets the village with a dazzling smile and a loud declaration. When he greets Kakashi, he hands him a Canterbury Bell, smiles at him, and waves goodbye, saying something about meeting "Iruka-sensei" for ramen.

Sending a short wave back, he reenters his apartment building, pulls a mug out from a cabinet in his cramped kitchenette, fills it with water, and puts the flower bundle in it.

The gray-haired jounin picks one out of the bouquet, and tucks it into his pocket, before pulling out one of his books and heading to the jounin station to relax and brag about his new gift.

He is pleased when he walks in and finds them all suitably exasperated at the little bell-shaped flower sticking out of his vest pouch.

(He'll find out later while drunk with Gai and the other jounin that those flowers mean "gratitude". Gai will beam at him, and Kakashi will drunkenly mumble about his new favorite student.)

Even after all the time that has passed, Naruto still sends him plants and flowers for his birthdays and other special occasions. He's had to move, as he ran out of space to keep all his plants and worried about killing his precious students gifts, (He felt so sad after he accidentally killed Mr. Ukki three years ago. Naruto told him that it was alright, of course, But Kakashi is determined to not have it happen again.) so he moved to a much bigger apartment, where he keeps his plant care manuals, Icha Icha books, and the romance novel Sakura gave him so long ago on a shelf. When asked about why the silver-haired nin moved after being seemingly content in his tiny apartment for so long, Kakashi would shrug and make a comment about a lack of space and the age of the place before whipping out his book and shoving his face into it.

From time to time he'll take a look at Team Sevens team photo and the small romance novel on the shelf, and with a twinge of bittersweet fondness, grin.

All's right with the world, to Kakashi. He's still got his ninken, Gai and his challenges, the other jounin, his students, Icha Icha, and his plants.

That's good enough for him.

Uh,,, this kind of went off the rails! This was about Kakashi and Mr. Ukki originally, but I guess the word flow for each scene about the original concept just kind of stopped, oops.

I'm so sorry, this is really bad, but I hope you at least enjoyed it.

#naruto #naruto fanfic #anime #fanfic #naruto uzumaki #god this thing is so fucking old #please for the love of christ go read the rewritten version i beg you #avi writes things #talents'verse

0 notes