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The Journey - Part Nine
Hey guys, as promised here goes an update. Thank you @jia911 for the always fast and efficient proofreading and @bluebelle18 for the amazing help with the dialogue transcription from the eps.
Previous chapters are HERE.
Timeline for Part 9:
This chapter explores the events of 11x11, when Amelia is clearly affected by what’s happening to Jackson, Avery and their baby, how Owen notices she is not doing well and the in betweens of their amazing scene at the hospital chapel; It also includes the events of 11x12 (yaaa the part we were all waiting for), when they flirt in such an adorkable way and it leads to... well you know how this ends :) won’t spoil it any more. Let’s get to it!
The Journey – Part Nine
Owen ran back and forth in the ER, trying to get the place running smoothly in April’s absence. He knew that day was going to be especially hard. Even though people didn’t address it directly, they knew about Kepner and Avery’s unborn child’s condition and it felt like everyone was walking around on eggshells, unsure of what to say or do.
The moment he heard Amelia Shepherd thoughtfully suggesting the others to just give them privacy, instead of getting distracted and going back to work like everyone else did, Owen was left intrigued. People were too absorbed with their own problems and tasks to notice it, but the shadow of sadness behind the blue of Amelia’s eyes was immediately spotted by him.
As their coworkers scattered around, Owen quickly hurried his pace to catch up with her.
“Uh, Shepherd, you said you wanted to go over Dr. Herman’s tumor plan.” He reminded her of their encounter that morning. Even though they hadn’t seen each other much for the past few days, Amelia had made sure to keep him informed of her surgical plan. “You want to get lunch?” Owen asked, eager to spend more time with her. Not only did he notice she’d been distant from him ever since the day he’d almost kissed the woman in the skills lab, Amelia also looked sad and he hated to see it.
“Oh, uh… I can’t. I got to push it.”
As she made her way in the opposite direction, Owen pondered about her situation. He wondered if she was avoiding him because she was busy, distressed or because she was still too uncomfortable by what had almost happened between them the previous week.
The chief of surgery found it hard to believe Amelia would be dodging him for the latter, considering they had almost kissed in her living room once and she had responded to the situation with teasing banter. But maybe she was in over her head with her surgical plans. Amelia was operating on a really important case that day. One of her patients had a tumor much similar to Herman’s and he supposed she was probably too worked up about it, adding to her stress.
But, at the same time Owen tried to convince himself that was the cause for her withdrawn mood, he also couldn’t help being sure that, judging by the pain he’d identified in her eyes, there was more to Amelia’s state of mind than he could ever imagine.
.
Later that same day, after her surgery turned out to be a success, Owen expected to find Amelia in a better mood. Instead, he found her snapping at Edwards.
“Everything alright?” He asked.
Owen wanted very much to let her know that he was around too. Just like she had put herself available to him once, he was there in case she needed someone to talk to. And judging by her defensive reaction and unusual lashing out at a resident, he could see she did. The trauma surgeon had stopped fooling himself thinking his interest in her well-being was purely professional. Owen had already accepted he really liked and cared for her in a very personal manner.
“Yep.” Amelia replied evasively.
Owen hesitated for a bit, unsure of what to say next. Amelia anxiously looked from the tablet on the counter to him and back. The neurosurgeon’s cheeks looked flushed and her posture was stiff and uneasy. She clearly wasn’t alright but he didn’t want to push it. He knew exactly how it was to be a private person, and how abusive it felt when people kept pushing him to talk when he didn’t want or wasn’t ready to. Respecting her privacy, he opted for sharing instead:
“Hey, the candle thing does work, by the way.” Earlier that day, Owen had gone up to the chapel and lit one. It had made him feel better and more at peace. “So thanks for that.”
With a head nod, he walked away, hoping that whatever was bothering her could be fixed soon. And if he couldn’t help, he hoped that at least some relaxed introspection and maybe even faith might.
.
Amelia walked into the chapel for what it felt like the tenth time that day. She was still battling with her emotions and struggling to keep her head leveled so she could get through with that day without losing her cool when her eyes found the unexpected amount of lit candles near the altar.
She felt her heart swelling with a mix of emotions and sat down by one of the benches, unable to believe how unexpectedly the past was catching up with her. Once, not long before, she had been in a similar situation to April Kepner and Jackson Avery.
Her baby had also been condemned to death even before being born and she could relate to the ordeal the parents were going through. Amelia had been through a lot in her life, but no pain had ever compared to holding her son in her arms knowing he would be gone from the world very soon.
Even though it had almost destroyed her, Amelia had found in herself the strength to make something good come out of an excruciatingly painful situation. The loss of her child had transformed the lives of many people, not just hers. Meeting him, being able to hold her baby and knowing the difference he’d made in the world had impacted her in a way that nothing else could have. Amelia still carried that scar and probably would all her life but her son had changed her, and for the better. She still grieved not having him with her, but she took comfort knowing that the same way he had blessed her with his existence; her son had also saved countless families that today were whole, safe and happy cherishing the miracle of life.
April and Jackson’s baby would meet similar fate and Amelia knew that his presence in the world also wouldn’t be in vain. She refused to believe that nothing good came of horrible situations. Just like her baby who had left a positive mark in the world, the Kepner-Avery child would transform the entire meaning of life for his parents, even if they weren’t fully aware of that yet.
The uneasy silence was broken by the discreet sound of the chapel door opening. Soon enough, Amelia looked up to find Owen Hunt walking in and sitting next to her without saying a word.
The trauma surgeon was keeping his prerogative of not asking questions that the woman beside him might not want to answer. Yet, for some reason Owen still felt intimately compelled to be there for her, so he’d followed his employee upstairs. Even if it meant being in complete silence. He wanted to let her know that, whatever was afflicting her, she didn’t have to go through it alone if she didn’t wish to.
Much to his surprise, Amelia’s voice echoed in the dimly lit room.
“My baby lived for forty three minutes.”
The words hit Owen like a shock wave. He immediately turned his head to her side, looking for her eyes, but Amelia’s gaze was fixated on the candles by the altar. The intensity of her confession was stamped on Amelia’s face, even though it was clear she was trying to hold it together. Owen had never admired or respected her more than he did at that moment.
Of all the things he could have guessed were bothering her, never in a lifetime would he consider such an unthinkable scenario. The closest experience he’d gotten to the loss of a child had been when his ex wife terminated a pregnancy, aborting a baby he desired very much. But Owen couldn’t imagine how exponentially worse it must be to get to hold or see a beloved child only to lose it so soon after.
He had no idea the circumstances in which such loss had happened. But details didn’t matter. Not at that moment.
Now he understood why Amelia Shepherd had spent the day at the edge of sanity, presenting reactions like withdrawing in silence and snapping at a resident for a seemingly unimportant reason. He sympathized with her pain. It was obvious and expected that the topic hurt her very much and it touched him deeply that she’d chosen to share it with him when she could have remained in silence.
Before he could think about it, Owen stretched out his hand and gently held hers. His thumb caressed her delicate fingers, trying to transmit how sorry he was for her loss. The trauma surgeon didn’t have children but he desired them more than anything and he couldn’t imagine a pain worst than losing a baby.
Amelia turned her head and when she finally faced him, she read in his eyes the thousand words his heart was saying. She hadn’t planned to say those words, but his presence made her feel so strangely safe that Amelia had confessed it, unconsciously yearning for comfort and comprehension.
Owen didn’t know this yet, but he now was the only person in that city who knew about Amelia’s most painful secret. She hadn’t shared it even with her brother, because even though she knew Derek would sympathize and feel sorry for her, she wasn’t sure he would be able to understand the length of her pain.
And yet, in the depth of an amazing pair of light blue eyes and the confident, powerful presence of a male figure who had given her nothing but honesty, care and concern, Amelia had found a safe spot to bear her soul, even if it's just a tiny piece of it. A piece that yet small, carried the weight of a hard lived life.
Owen had no idea how much that confession had meant to her, or how better she felt after speaking the words. That secret was consuming her and Amelia had spent the entire day at the edge of control. Now, after finally letting the truth out, she was finally able to breathe normally again.
Someone else knew now. Someone who hadn’t judged, or asked further questions. Owen had simply understood, and that’s all Amelia really needed.
Talking about it had made the memory of what had happened in her past more real and vivid, but at the same time, it had helped Amelia ease her pain. She couldn’t change her past, but she was trying to build a better future. Her son gave her strength to do it every day and having his existence acknowledged by someone other than her felt like a blessing in a time of need.
Little did Amelia know that the man sitting beside her would one day give her the most amazing gifts of all: Five little people they would love more than anything. Together, she and Owen would share the most amazing adventure of a lifetime: parenting. And going through it with him by her side would make Amelia more fulfilled than she could ever dream of being.
When she diverted her gaze back to the candles, Owen stayed beside her, silently holding her hand. He wasn’t going to let go. It was amazing how one single sentence could be so impacting. That small bit of information had elucidated a lot about Amelia. Before, he already admired how invested she was. Now that he understood why, he held her in an even higher regard.
It made sense why Amelia was so devoted to her work, especially when it involved kids. She wanted to save as many lives as she could, because she knew too well the pain that losing a child was. He thought back about the little girl she’d save with a peculiar surgical approach. That was one more family who would sleep well at night because of something the neurosurgeon by his side had done. She had a brilliant mind, a skilled set of hands but most importantly, a very generous heart.
Owen was still processing the impact of her confession when soon after, two other people walked into the chapel, whispering words and occupying seats as they prayed for their loved ones. Very gently, Amelia took her hand from beneath his and got up, ready to go back to the new page she had turned in her life when she’d moved to Seattle and once again bury that piece of information in the depths of her past.
But before she could leave the chapel, Owen spotted her hesitation as she turned around and gave him one last look, almost as if saying she too hadn’t wished to let go of that moment between them.
.
For the following week, the surgeons didn’t see much of each other. Amelia would eventually walk past Owen by the hallways and she often wondered if the spark she’d seen in his eyes every time she felt his gaze on her was real or just a product of her imagination.
The surgical plan for Nicole Herman despite well established was still the sole focus on Amelia’s mind at the moment. For what it felt like the third time that day, she spotted her boss crossing paths with her but this time around, he stopped her.
“Shepherd, how’s Herman? Any changes to the tumor?” Owen asked, genuinely interested. He’d had the most bizarre morning and was in need of some answers.
First, Callie had gone on and on about having game and flirtation skills, to which Owen honestly replied he didn’t have a lot of talent for. Being honest had always worked fine for him and at least he felt like Callie had gotten out of that conversation a little more inspired.
But then, he’d come to find out that Nicole Herman had stolen a couch from the doctor’s lounge and during the already troublesome enough task of talking to her about it, the fetal surgeon had openly and shamelessly flirted with him. Owen wasn’t generally very good at picking up these things, unless he was interested too, but the woman had been so blatantly forward that, that time, even he noticed.
“Hm, it’s grown a little inferiorly but it’s still within the margins I expected.” Amelia replied with honesty. “Why?” She added, interested.
“I was just checking.” Owen said and then took a step forward, standing up in front of her as he forced Amelia to stop walking so she could fully face him. “Actually, hm… Her behavior is…” Owen struggled. At the same time the situation was embarrassing and Amelia was the last person he wanted to discuss flirtation with, he felt obliged to report her patient’s behavior to her, considering it could be a neurological game changer in the plan to schedule the surgery. “She is stealing furniture.” He started, a little embarrassingly, knowing he was avoiding saying the main point.
“Oh,” Amelia took in the information, wondering if she should be getting worried.
“And she was flirting with me,” Owen finally confessed.
That seemed to particularly draw her attention. He wondered if there was more to her reaction than merely concern about her patient.
“Herman flirted with you?” The neurosurgeon asked, trying to disguise her personal interest on that information.
“I think so…” Owen replied awkwardly and in that moment Amelia noticed how embarrassed he was. “I… Yeah.”
Even though Amelia often felt clumsy around his powerful confidence, at times he would involuntarily let his guard down like this, letting her know that the guy wasn’t at all indifferent to her. Amelia didn’t know if he held her in the same high regard she held him, but the surgeon was pretty sure he felt at least just as physically attracted to her.
And flirting was in her nature. She couldn’t help it. Even though Amelia thought she didn’t have that talent as sharp as it had once been, she could still pull off some moves. And seeing Owen so obviously uncomfortable was the exact opening she needed.
“Did you take her up on it?” She asked teasingly, but deep down Amelia knew she would be bothered if the answer was positive. “I mean, she is very attractive.” The neurosurgeon added encouragingly, seeing her boss looked lost and taken by surprise.
“No. Yes, she is, but…” Owen heard himself stuttering.
“And tall.” Amelia proceeded with her swift moves, on purpose keeping eye contact with him. “I mean, she might be the tallest person in the hospital.” She tested him, looking at his chest to reinforce their height difference.“ You might find tall people attractive. I don’t know.”
“No, I don’t. Not as a rule.” Owen replied with honestly, feeling like a fool. How could he even think about people’s heights when an adorable petite brunette deeply stared at him with the most amazing blue eyes he had ever seen? Owen felt fascinated. Completely enchanted. And belatedly, he realized he’d just fallen on Amelia Shepherd’s web of seduction. “But, professionally, it’s not a good idea.”
“Is that a rule? No co-workers?” Amelia asked before she could help it, feeling a bit insecure. The guy had nearly kissed her, was it possible that he had refrained because of professionalism? She really hoped not.
“Didn’t say that. I like co-workers.” Owen said bluntly and in the way he looked at her, Amelia knew he meant her. With reinvigorated confidence, she tilted her head, giving him her best angelical look. “But the hospital, we have rules there are, um…” Owen froze and broke eye contact with her before he lost control. He couldn’t believe the things she made him feel. And he barely even knew her. Doing his best to get out of there as soon as possible to avoid making a fool of himself even more, the chief of surgery cleared his throat before adding, “Thank you for the update.”
Amelia felt a wave of disappointment assaulting her as she watched him walk away. It’d be a lie to say she wasn’t having fun with the situation. But at the same time, Amelia knew she was walking in dangerous territory. But the more she tried to convince herself to focus on work let go of that intense dynamics with her boss, the more Owen seemed to occupy her thoughts.
.
Even though during the rest of the day Amelia was able to successfully keep her mind busy with her surgeries, once back home she couldn’t find any sources for distraction. It was very late at night and everyone else in the house was already sleeping. But when she’d spotted the lights on inside the trailer parked outside on the yard, her head started to spin in circles, going back to the same source of uneasiness: Owen Hunt.
Involuntarily, a movie ran in her mind as she recollected memories about every single one of their interactions. Amelia was very confused. She had no idea how exactly she felt about him.
Well, in a way she did. Amelia knew she liked him. She actually liked him a lot. But she wasn’t sure about the nature of those feelings. One thing she was sure of was that she really admired Owen. Ever since she’d met him, Amelia had noticed he was special. The guy had been there for her in a difficult transition in her life, offering her an opportunity at the hospital without an agenda while never failing to treat her with respect and consideration, both at home and at work. He had never judged her, even when everyone else around her had. Owen had always tried to hear her side of the story whenever he felt like he needed to reprimand her about something and once outside the walls of the hospital, his integrity of character remained the same.
Not only did Amelia feel an unfamiliar soothing sense of security whenever he was around, she also had developed the habit of watching him in action. Despite the fact that he was reserved and an overall private person, Owen’s kind manners and respectful approaches were reserved for everyone, be it patients, hospital staff, other surgeons or people in general. He was always polite, fair and empathetic. Those were traits she really admired and Amelia couldn’t say the same about a lot of people.
But even though she’d learned it was Owen’s nature to act by those principles, Amelia couldn’t help wondering if it was just her wishful imagination or if he was indeed a bit gentler and warmer with her than he was to others. She knew it would make no sense to expect that the guy who ran an entire surgical department treated everyone with the same courteous approach for he often had to be firm and serious, but even in the times he’d reprimanded her, Amelia had always felt like for some reason, his concern and investment had never been strictly professional.
She liked to believe that Owen actually did like her. The neurosurgeon tried not to think too much on the reason why she felt that way because Amelia was afraid of what she might discover. Leaving the room, she went downstairs to the kitchen, trying to avoid those thoughts.
The neurosurgeon walked back and forth, looking for something to distract herself with. Those were the moments when staying sober was a bitch. In another time of her life, she would simply sit down with a bottle of wine until alcohol numbed her racing mind.
But that had been exactly how Amelia had become an addict once and she was determined never to fall off the wagon again. If, in order to stay sober, she needed to deal with emotions she wasn’t exactly ready to acknowledge, then she would do it.
The neurosurgeon opened the fridge, spotting what looked like a bottle of champagne and later realizing it was only sparkling water. She took it out and grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets, excited about the prospect of drinking something, even if alcohol free. But as Amelia read the label, noticing the flavor, her thoughts once again drifted to the man living in the backyard.
Not only had Owen Hunt already emotionally overtaken her, Amelia couldn’t deny he was also very physically engaging. At first, Amelia had noticed he was an attractive guy, but it wasn’t until she’d met his personality that the neurosurgeon had truly paid attention to the details of his physique. His built body, with broad shoulders, a muscular chest and strong arms matched perfectly with his masculine personality; his angled jaw revealed his stubborn, proud strength at the same time his blue eyes were warm and understanding. Amelia had noticed he had long, thick eyelashes that were the same color as his hair. Sometimes, when her boss was distracted, Amelia would stare at them with amazement, thinking that behind that the fierce, powerful façade of a solid, trustworthy leader, there was also the compassion and kindness of a special soul.
All those physical and emotional attributes combined made Owen the most challenging, intriguing and attractive male Amelia had ever encountered.
She thought back about the only meaningful previous relationships she’d ever had. Aside from a steady college boyfriend, Amelia had pretty much jumped from one casual fling to another during all her life, always completely detaching sex from romantic feelings.
When she’d met her baby’s father, it had started off as a meaningless one night stand. As usual, sex had come first. Later, as they’d spent more time together, the physical attraction had made room for an emotional connection that despite brief and intense, still confused Amelia very much in regards to everything that had happened. Her experiences with Ryan had been lived mostly under the effect of opioids, making Amelia doubt if the euphoria she’d felt during the time she spent with him were truly related to her feelings for the man, to the plans of chasing a dream she’d longed for all her life or due to the effects caused by drugs. She had long ago accepted the fact that she’d never really find out, avoiding thinking about the subject completely because even though Ryan had given her a few weeks of bliss, his presence in her life was also related to her most painful experiences. First, she’d found him dead on their bed, losing the person she’d invested all her hopes on. Then, the discovery and loss of a child they had conceived together and Amelia had wanted very much would always appear in her mind whenever she thought of him.
The deep emotional pain Amelia had gone through during that period had severely scarred her, making the neurosurgeon wonder if she’d ever be able to get involved with anyone, ever again. For a while, she’d convinced herself she wouldn’t. When she’d met James, Amelia had reluctantly accepted his advances, but after a while she’d let it happen, only because deep down she’d always known that the ER physician would never really be a threat to her heart. Even though Amelia loved him, she had never been in love with him and that had meant no heartbreak if they ever parted ways. Exactly how it had happened.
The most passionate experiences she had ever felt had been with a guy who was now dead and even then, Amelia had been under substance influence. The risk of ever going through another loss scared her more than anything and that was why Amelia tried to completely avoid admitting how Owen Hunt made her feel.
Whenever she was in his presence, Amelia felt her palms sweating, her pulse racing and that undeniably sensation of anxiety. The brain was her object of study and Amelia couldn’t fool herself about what all those symptoms meant. This time, there were no drugs involved to explain those reactions.
Which meant the feelings were completely real and not chemically fabricated.
And then there was the additional of a very unfamiliar but at the same time very soothing sensation of being taken care of. It was like she knew she could count on Owen, even though they hadn’t been in each other’s lives very long. Amelia had trusted other people, but usually only after exhaustively getting to know them. But with her boss, it felt different because instead of rejecting his concern and worry, like she initially did with everyone else, Amelia felt strangely drawn to them.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, Amelia tried to ignore the unnerving realization that Owen Hunt could indeed become a real threat to her very guarded heart. She’d recently broken off an engagement and convinced herself that romantic relationships weren’t a concept she was willing to grasp any time soon. So, maybe she and Owen could just be friends. She already enjoyed his company very much.
Or maybe, if she just attempted at something physical with him, all that wondering and the silly infatuation with the man would stop.
That was it, Amelia thought, very practically. She was confused and reacting like a twelve year old because she wasn’t used to that situation. Usually, when she became attracted to guys, she successfully seduced them and quickly grew tired. The fact that Owen Hunt wasn’t a virtual stranger but actually someone she’d come to care about definitely wasn’t going to get in the way of that. All she really needed was to get that nonsensical sexual tension out of the way and once she’d tried and got that energy out of her system, they could remain friends.
Picking up the bottle of sparkling water, Amelia completely ignored the portion of her brain that was warning her just how irrational she was being. The guy was her boss and he didn’t strike her as the kind of man who had meaningless sexual encounters with his employees. But in the end, Amelia’s impulsive nature got the best of her and before she could think about it, she was already climbing up the steps to the wooden structure his trailer stood on.
Owen had just finished brushing his teeth and was ready to change for bed when he heard gentle knocks at his door.
“Uh, hi,” The trauma surgeon frowned, surprised to see Amelia Shepherd standing outside.
“Hey, Sorry.” She smiled invitingly. “Do you drink wine?”
“Uh…” Owen hesitated, wondering what had taken her there. After their somehow disastrous conversation earlier that day, he was expecting another full week of avoiding each other.
“I just wanted to visit, and people bring wine sometimes when they’re going to visit another person. Especially if they have...” Amelia spoke and it didn’t go unnoticed to him the way she was struggling. Her voice had a higher pitch than normal and she seemed a bit jumpy. “They bring a bottle.”
“That’s water.” Owen pointed out, satisfied to notice that this time around, she was the one who seemed nervous and completely affected. “So…”
“Because I don’t drink wine. I don’t drink at all. Not anymore.” Amelia tried to sound indifferent. “So, I brought water, and…” The neurosurgeon instantly realized how she was embarrassing herself. God, what was she thinking? “I’m sorry. I have literally no game.” She humbly added, hoping Owen wouldn’t have a bad impression of her insane and impulsive decision to show up at his door, in a late hour with that stupid excuse. She noticed as he chuckled and handed him the bottle, seeing the look of confusion on his face as he took it. Unlike that morning, the guy seemed to be back to his serene, controlled self. He raised both eyebrows as if expecting her to say something else, but it only made Amelia feel even more awkward. “I should go. It’s sparkling.”
“Mm-hmm.” Owen was enjoying that conversation more than he should. Often before, it was him who hadn’t been able to hide just how much Amelia affected him. This time, she was the one struggling and it completely contrasted with her usually confident and sassy manners. He thought she’d never looked more adorable than openly admitting she’d tried to flirt with him because she didn’t think she had game.
Owen knew that if only Amelia realized she didn’t really need to open her mouth to entice him, she wouldn’t be saying those things with so much conviction. Just the sight of her gorgeous figure and her charming presence were enough to invoke all kinds of responses in him.
“Lime.” Amelia added, stepping back. “Just wanted to say hi.” She repeated, trying to repair the situation. Amelia couldn’t believe she had pretty much given him reason to believe she’d gone there with an agenda.
As she turned around to leave, the neurosurgeon let out a heavy sigh, trying to calm down. She was feeling like a complete fool and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. What was she thinking?! That Owen would open his door, invite her in and greet her with a kiss?
But that was the thing, Amelia wasn’t thinking. She needed to start acting like the grownup she was determined to become.
Owen watched her reaction with amusement and asked, adamant on not letting her go.
“Hey, do you want some water?”
From a distance, he heard her reply without turning her back.
“Not thirsty.”
It was clear she was embarrassed. Owen smiled to himself. If before he’d had doubts, now he was absolutely certain that Amelia reciprocated his attraction. He’d had two chances to kiss her before and missed it.
Owen wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.
“Okay, wait.” He put the bottle on the ground and gave the order. “Amelia. Stop walking.” Owen finally caught up with her, noticing how insecure and adorable she looked. He assumed she was probably embarrassed thinking he’d rejected her. This time, he was going to make it very clear that there was no way she was getting out of his reach before he had the chance to do what he’d been dying to try. “I’m gonna kiss you now,” He informed her with practicality, even though he could feel his own heart beating faster. Owen noticed the anticipation in her eyes and that only added to his desire to touch the woman. “So, don’t say anything.”
Amelia heard the sweet tone of command in his voice at the same time she felt the touch of his large hand on her cheek. The way Owen captured her eyes with his, intensely staring right through them, made Amelia lose her cool completely.
His left hand made its way to her jaw, possessively pulling her in his direction at the same his lips covered hers in a sweet, intimate kiss. Amelia felt his forehead touching hers as the warmth of his body and the softness of his lips made her knees feel weak, leading her to hold his elbow for support.
Owen had meant for it to be one simple, quick kiss. But even though he’d repeatedly anticipated that moment with anxiety and high expectations, never would he have been ready for reality.
The trauma surgeon had imagined kissing Amelia would be amazing, but he hadn’t expected it to feel so right or so good. He unwillingly pulled apart, eager to find out her reaction, but when he felt Amelia’s head moving forward, as if protesting the loss of contact, Owen tightened his grip on her, capturing her lips with reinvigorated desire. Seeing Amelia surrender to him with so much abandon drove him crazy and Owen deepened the kiss, wondering how he’d ever be able to let her go.
Amelia felt his thumb striking her cheek and her heart swelled with the tenderness of his touch. Owen was all solidness, power and rough strength. But the way he softly caressed her, holding her face with so much gentleness made Amelia mellow.
She kept her eyes very closed, unable to focus on anything other than how he made her feel. How could she ever, ever have considered that after kissing the guy and getting that energy out of her system, she would go back to being in peace?
Owen pulled apart slowly. It seemed like he’d just become aware of how everything about Amelia made complete sense. Her skin was flawlessly soft, her scent was intoxicatingly numbing and her gracious, feminine body felt like it had been molded to perfectly accommodate in his arms. He wanted more than anything to wrap them around her waist, take her to his bed and kiss every bit of her body.
But he couldn’t. It was too soon. He didn’t want to rush things, scare her off and end up regretting his lack of control the following day. Amelia deserved better and Owen already liked her too much to imagine doing anything that might slightly make her uncomfortable. It was already too late to step back, pretend nothing was happening between them or deny it. The only thing left for them to figure out was how they were going to act on it.
And Owen decided to take it slowly, anxious to enjoy every step of the way.
But now, looking into Amelia’s eyes, he realized she was as confused and unsettled as him with the intensity of what they’d just shared.
“And now you can go home.” He added, giving her room to recover from it. He would definitely need it too.
“Yeah, I’m gonna go home.” Amelia struggled with breaking contact with him, especially when she felt his hand rubbing her shoulder. Taking longer than usual to process her thoughts, Amelia smiled at him with affection and comfortable ease. “Which is that way.” She turned back one last time to look at the guy, already accepting the fact that her reaction had become quite obvious. “To my house.”
Amelia had her back turned so she never noticed the way Owen kept staring at her with his hands in his pockets as she crossed the yard, feeling like she was walking in another dimension. The journey from his trailer to her brother’s house seemed like an eternity. When Amelia finally made it upstairs to her room, she closed the door after her and leaned against it, finally letting out the breath she’d been holding.
Owen had completely swept her off her feet with the electrical wave of desire that ran through her body the moment he touched her with his hands and lips. And if after only a kiss Amelia had already lost control and her entire capacity to think, she didn’t want to imagine how much further those feelings could grow.
The problem was, being with Owen was potentially dangerous to her heart and yet it felt so good that Amelia already knew it was impossible to try to resist it. She didn’t want to try to resist it. What she really wanted was to walk into his arms and let herself go completely.
Damn it. She couldn’t, Amelia realized. Going to him had been an insane idea and she needed to protect herself. She could not let her feelings get the best of her again. Determinate to never suffer another heartbreak, which was in Amelia’s experience an inevitability when it came to relationships, she promised herself to solely focus on Herman’s surgery and nothing, nothing else.
It was decided, she realized, finally able to breathe normally again after attempting to regain control of herself. Amelia wasn’t going to think about Owen. She wasn’t going to think about kissing him again.
And she definitely wasn’t going to think about what might come next.
---
#omelia#thejourney#thejourneyfanfiction#owen hunt#amelia shepherd#grey's anatomy#greysanatomy#greysanatomyfanfic#omeliafanfic#omeliafanfics#omeliafics#omeliafic#amenff#jordan202
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I have A Thing for you– I think Jordan (@jordan202) gave me this idea a long time but I can't be sure– an AU where Owen and Amelia's backstories are basically switched. Like, Owen's the recovering addict who's had a lot of people die on him. and Amelia went to war and has PTSD and all that. I've had it on my idea list forever and I just don't know what to do with it, so... want it? :)
My goshhhh. This is a heavy prompt! I’m not sure how I’d tackle something like this. Any ideas from the audience?
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Grey’s Anatomy 15x14 Final Thoughts
This is going to be a little bit on the short side, but tl;dr: this was one of the better episodes of the season, and I love Amelia. Let’s get started.
Meredith: Of course she broke another record, congrats to her, I guess. I wish we actually got to see her prep for and actually do the surgery, but I’m also glad they didn’t cut time from the other storylines in this episode to make that happen. Deluca seemed more like her cheerleader than her resident (or boyfriend) in the scenes they had together, which was just weird.
Alex: I have to admit, I did enjoy seeing him (slightly) jealous of the attention Mer was getting with her surgery. It was one of the few lighthearted moments from this episode, which I appreciate.
Seeing Alex deal with another addict-parent really highlighted how far he’s come. We saw him, for the first time, really stepping up as chief last week, but he’s also changed so much personally. There was a similar storyline a few seasons ago, where he was treating a kid whose parents were meth dealers (or something like that). In that episode, he completely freaked out and got really angry about it. Now, he handled the situation with grace and class while making it absolutely clear what his opinions were. The scene with him and Jo at the end was adorable, and I’m glad with how their storylines played out here.
Nico/Levi: Don’t really ship this, especially since we (STILL) know nothing about Nico except for his sexuality, but they had some cute moments.
Maggie/Jackson: Still don’t care about them, but Maggie freaking out about camping, of all things, was kind of hilarious. What they did for the homeless man at the end was really heartwarming. Also, Jackson telling Qadri to fix her facial expressions was pretty funny.
Owen: I feel bad that he “lost” Leo so soon. But I’m irritated that we didn’t see him apologize to Amelia; it seems like what he said last week had, like, no effect on their relationship. I hope he and Amelia stay friends instead of anything more.
Teddy: I’m not really on board with this whole “Cardio surgeon becomes chief of Trauma” thing, but it was incredibly gratifying to see her boss around the doctors and organize the ER almost as efficiently as Kepner would have done. When it came time for Betty’s surgery, I’m glad she was the one to do it – familial reasons aside, and the show did a good job of finally highlighting that despite Pierce being chief, Teddy is, first and foremost, a world-class Cardio surgeon, and Betty couldn’t have been in better hands. There’s more about this below.
Amelia & the Betty Storyline:
I know that there’s an Amelia-centric episode coming up, but she still really had her moments in this episode. I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about the parallels between Link and her ex-fiancé. I haven’t seen Private Practice so I can’t really comment on that, but while I don’t really ship it romantically, I can see, and I do want, her and Link having a friendship similar to that of Meredith and Alex.
Even without watching Private Practice, it’s evident just how much she’s evolved from simply being Derek’s sister. @jordan202 put it really well: she’s made strides with coming to terms with what addiction did TO her, but before this, she never truly understood what it did to her family and friends. Dealing with Betty has definitely changed her for the better, and I’m excited to see her reflect on that experience in the future.
Teddy’s “Amelia may never see that little girl open her eyes again” line was perfect. First of all, she’s acknowledging the bond that the Sisters share (despite brushing it off before). But all that aside, Teddy may not verbalize it, but she knows first-hand how much it matters to have someone there for you during moments like this. That person during Henry’s debacle was supposed to be Owen, but he couldn’t be there, and we all know how that turned out. For Amelia, those people are Maggie and Meredith, and Teddy did everything to make sure that Amelia wouldn’t be left alone. Amelia embracing her in relief at the end was wonderful. These two women (undoubtedly) still harbor some not-so-nice feelings towards each other, but in that moment, all of that was put aside.
Amelia was wearing her emotions on her sleeve for the majority of this episode, which just made Caterina Scorsone’s acting even more phenomenal throughout. With every word, tear, and facial expression, we could see just how much Betty meant to Amelia, and just how strong she has become because of it. And her final monologue was so powerful and emotional. Once again, hats-off to her.
And Amelia’s been through so much on this show. She’s faced obstacles at nearly every turn, both emotionally and due to circumstance. Here scenes and storylines have been some of the most vulnerable and heart-wrenching. It’s incredibly hard to put into words what Amelia’s experiences have meant to me, but…I cried at the end of this episode. Amelia always had it in her to be a superhero, and it took awhile for her to believe it herself; now, with this episode, she’s proven it to everyone else, once and for all.
#c: amelia shepherd#caterina scorsone#c: teddy altman#c: betty nelson#c: atticus 'link' lincoln#c: maggie pierce#c: meredith grey#c: alex karev#c: jo wilson#c: jackson avery#p: a lot of water under this particular bridge {amelia & owen}#c: levi schmitt#c: nico kim#ga: 15x14 i want a new drug#final thoughts#grey's anatomy#myposts#myfinalthoughts
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Tag Game
I was tagged by @amelliashepherds, thank you so much and I didn’t expect to be one of your favorite writers so thank you again 💛
1- Best one liner you’ve ever written?
It’s a line of a future chapter of Bodyguard and I can’t tell it, it would be a spoiler 🙈
2- Do you want to be a writer as a career?
No, not really.
3- What made you start writing?
I wanted to write my own story after reading the stories of others :)
4- Who do you look up to when writing?
I don’t know, a mix of my favorites writers but I try to not always look up of what the others write.
5- Top 5 favorites fanfic you’ve written?
I just write two fics so my first one is “Bodyguard” and the second is “First Love”
6- How do you come up with titles?
I just think of what is the main idea of the story.
7- What od you do when writing?
I’m listening to music
8- Do you think you’re a good writer?
Not really
9- Tag your favorite writers?
@aameliashepherd @juanitawritings @ameliashepherdgoeshunting @omeliastories @drreporting @jordan202 @seasidescorsone @sheperdessamelia @greysukay @latetothegreysparty and more
10- Favorite genre of fics?
Angst and fluff
I tag @ameliashepherdgoeshunting @juanitawritings and @omeliastories 💛
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Do you know anyones name on here? I dont even know your name. Im trying to see if I can find out anyones names!!
I know the names that several people have shared on here. I can’t verify whether these are their actual first names or if these are their preferred online names. Here’s the ones I know:- @jordan202 goes by Jordan- @aameliashepherd goes by Kennedy- @sheperdessamelia goes by Amy- @filterlessmia goes by Kylie- @juanitawritings goes by Luana- @owenandameliaforever goes by Eileen or Leen for short
Those are the ones I can think of at the moment. As far as my name, sorry anon, but I don’t share my name on here.
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Top 10 Female Characters
I was tagged in this forever ago but only doing it now. Oooops!
Tagged by: @sheperdessamelia
Rules: write your 10 favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms and tag 10 people!
1. Amelia Shepherd- Grey’s Anatomy/ Private Practice
2. Mellie Grant- Scandal
3. Donna Paulsen- Suits
4 Lorelai Gilmore- Gilmore Girls
5. Kate Beckett- Castle
6. Addison Montgomery- Grey’s Anatomy/ Private Practice
7. Lexie Grey-Grey’s Anatomy
8. Leslie Knope- Parks and Recreation
9. Maggie Bloom- A Million Little Things
10. Veronica Mars- Veronica Mars
I’m going to tag: @lexaclxrke @jordan202 @em-m-j @shepherd-hunt @blackberrycreek @sanlos
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14x19–– Beautiful Dreamer [episode review]
can we talk about Grey’s here for a second? I’m gonna review this episode because it’s been a really great episode. I think one of the best we’ve seen in a long time. so lets start off with saying this: I am sorry for how unorganized and choppy this is going to be, I’m apologizing in advance but my brain is going a million miles an hour. ALSO. WARNING::: SPOILERS AHEAD!!! 🚨🚨
first off–– Richard and Ollie
this was so, so sad. this gave me Amelia and Michelle, on PP, parallel feels, how Ollie is much like Amelia’s best friend Michelle and Amelia and Richard both watched their friend die a slow death. I really think and hope this is going to bring Amelia and Richard closer as friends and support systems. this storyline (Richard and Ollie) was very real, heartbreaking and sad. I really liked it even though it was rough.
Arizona
two things here, first; Carina. I just. I don’t like her. it’s half “she’s never going to be callie” and half idk I just don’t like her character. she’s useless and just no. I really don’t like her. and I would really like for her to go back to Italy. like Arizona said, her study there is almost up… also, the comment at the beginning of the ep “I have no kids, thank god” like okay, I get that people don’t always like kids but coming from Arizona, someone who broke up with her girlfriend over children, this just made my heart swell. like carina you don’t say that to the person you’re with if they fucking have kids. thats like almost as close as basic human decency as we get here…and second; Arizona’s idea of the crash cart thing, that was amazing. seriously. “treat every delivery as a trauma” I can’t clap loud enough. this is amazing. I’m so glad she figured something out and she can stop stressing just a little bit. take a breather babes, you’re awesome, you’re a rockstar. [also, another note; I really am dreading JCap leaving and this is sad af, because we only have like what 3 episodes remaining?]
Bello and Deluca
I actually have a lot to say about this and this is where its going to get very unorganized. I love that they’re incorporating real life like this, fucking neurosurgeons in the making, who have been living here their whole lives, facing deportation to a country they don’t know just because of our terrible choice in leaders. I can talk a while about this but I’m not going to. I thoroughly enjoyed Bailey stalling the ICE agent [we will address this later] and how literally the whole hospital was banning together to help Bello out. I genuinely like her and I’m really sad to see her leaving. I loved all the scenarios of running, getting married, Jo telling her how to fake her death with a guy in New York, I actually laughed so hard. like this was so great. this whole storyline. and then when amelia asks Owen to call Megan to help out because her “favorite intern” is going to get deported for rUNNING A FUCKING RED LIGHT. A RED LIGHT PEOPLE. we can’t even put rapists in jail, and you’re exiling an innocent fucking surgeon to a country they spent barely a year in when they were born, because she ran a red fucking light? okay moving on, coco. I loved that amelia said that, it was really cute. and like then Meredith using one of Maggie’s old papers [im assuming] and telling her Sam got accepted in Zurich and is working with Cristina. that was actually so sweet and I can’t. and then poor Andrew. I really loved them as a couple. they are really sweet and I wish we got to know more about their story, but sadly we won’t since Bello left. their goodbye was so adorable and bitter sweet. I hope she comes back one day or Deluca leaves to go be with her, he deserves happiness and an actual storyline like this because Giancomo is kinda getting screwed with Deluca’s character here.
Jaggie…
as @jordan202 said last week, “jaggie is gaggie” and literally, yes. I was really excited to see Maggie ignoring him, because Jackson can be kinda dickish and like he should’ve told her April kissed him. if you want a relationship to work, be honest. and Jackson should’ve told her from the beginning. now to be honest with you, I skipped every jaggie scene, and caught the little bit at the end. I did want to point out, while I do not support Jaggie at all whatsoever, I find it very sweet Maggie showed up and made the speech and stood up for herself about not telling her because she said Jackson didn’t think he could handle it. go Maggie. and then I gagged again and skipped the scene that followed that… gross.
the interns
okay I love love loveeeee seeing Jo be the chief resident [I mean not like there can be any other chief resident because lets see, mousey died, Stephanie left, ben became a firefighter and where the fuck did Leah disappear to?] anyway, I love seeing Jo be the chief res and then bringing the interns around for rounds and no one letting them into rooms for rounds, that was actually quite funny.
Matthew and Ruby
okay, so I feel bad for Arizona because this was her case, but I empathize with Matthew, and he’s hurting and this is a lot. and I’m glad Owen could be put on this case, tho really fucking weird since he worked as a trauma surgeon in the army I didn’t peg him for a peds stand in, but I know this was just a little veer in his path for his storyline [which we will talk about as well] and I’m really grateful for April here. I know that everyone kinda looked weird at her for leering around Matthew and yeah I get it its weird, but her mother’s intuition was calling, and hey, guess what, it was fucking right. I’m really glad she was able to help and the end scene with her and Matthew was really sweet. it was full circle for them and I really enjoyed that.
lets go with the ICE agent next, and Bailey.
so I thoroughly enjoy that Bailey was at first just trying to stall him as long as possible. great tactic. and then her instincts kicked in and she pretty much saved this man’s life. I think that was really cool. and the scene with Maggie telling Bailey that she’d run all the tests, and then Bailey actually being serious about it. this was really nice. Bailey was being sincere to this man, she was serious because this guy, who is trying to take her intern, she could’ve easily just ignored his symptoms. but she didn’t and telling him, jfc that was great. “I swear to god this isn’t a joke” or whatever. bailey’s being serious, might I even say as serious as a heart attack… [okay, okay, I know, terrible joke I am sorry] anyway, this was really sweet that even though she deemed him as the enemy, she stilled helped save his life because its her job, just like, while he hates it, being an ICE agent is his job.
um what’s next? ou, Catherine.
can I start out saying I’ve never liked her? she’s always fucking shady and untrusting. seriously. and first off, do not go blaming your fucking son for this issue with the neurosurgeon lady. this is your fault. your “oh its nothing” thing with harper Avery and this lady. well yeah, we’re gonna think its nothing if you say it like that, of course Jackson won’t think anything of it and try and fucking fix things, there’s a child’s life at stake. if you weren’t such a shady bitch and were honest with Jackson, y’all won’t be getting into this mess, whatever the fuck it may be. ugh I do not like Catherine at all. Richard deserves better.
um, who else… Owen okay Owen.
so, I am still logically confused why Owen was placed on ruby Taylor’s case… like I mentioned before, he’s trauma not peds, but whatever, I guess if a hospital can have a bomb, shooting, 2 plane crashes, a fire and a billion other things happen, I guess a trauma surgeon can double as a peds one for a day. now, onto why. I’m really actually genuinely excited for Owen to take this step into singlehood and hopefully soon-to-be single fatherhood. I’ve been saying this forever, but give the man a child. he’s very similar to Alex in a way, he doesn’t act very decent with other adults, but in front of children, he’s an angel and its what he really needs. I can’t wait to see what comes of this storyline!
KIMMIE!
okay, wow! this breaks my heart. part of me is like “yes! go to NYC, go sing on broadway, explore the world while you still have the chance” and the other half of me just screams “stay strong just a little longer and stay at GSM for Alex and amelia to fix you, because I know they can”. Alex and kimmie’s dynamic is so sweet and their relationship just kinda melts me [and jo, but we will talk about that next!] I really hope this isnt the end of kimmie’s story. I hope she’s not going to just leave. side note: where did Tom go? is he back in New York? did he go back and I forget? anyway, whatever.
last but not least, the best, jolex.
okay, we got literally the sweetest scene I’ve ever fucking seen. I think I like this more than the proposal. actually, this and the 9x24 “I love you” scene are tied for first because ofc, that was my fave but also this one was. Jo telling Alex that she wants kids with him and wants to wedding plan and get married at joe’s bar and soon and ugh I cannot. and then her telling him she wants his last name because “I’ve never had the last name of anyone who’s loved me before” okay get out. bye. I’m dead. spoiler alert: I’ve been typing this from beyond the grave. this scene fucking melted me into a pile of goo. I cannot. bye!
bonus! 14x20 promo!
I AM FUCKING DEAD. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS EPISODE. ABSOLUTELY CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. this looks so goddamn fucking hilarious I literally almost started crying. first of all, Arizona being the innocent lil bean to unknowingly give everyone pot cookies, I’m in tears. then, Alex wearing the fucking whatever that was on his head and “oh yeah, it was so good” pissing myself. also, fuck, was that deluca hugging a bush?!? and Bailey professing her love to Meredith. I can’t I can’t. seriously, I have high expectations for this episode, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint.
end note: no gifs are mine and I’m sorry for not crediting artists, I just pulled these off google. thank you for letting me borrow your work.
#grey's anatomy#grey's spoilers#omelia#jolex#meredith grey#jo wilson#alex karev#amelia shepherd#owen hunt#april kepner#jackson avery#miranda bailey#all the things
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Favourite blog on Tumblr? Favourite person on Tumblr? Favourite writer on Tumblr?
This is a hard question for me to answer honestly because I’ve met so many amazing people on here. I want all of my friends and mutuals to know that I love and appreciate them 💗 But my favorite blog has to be @juanitawritings because of her Omelia fics and posts in general and my favorite person and friend is Luana @juanitawritings and my favorite writer is Jordan @jordan202
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Omelia Fic Library
Hey guys! Remember my fic library project? So, here it is as a post this time, since a few of you complained about the page not working. And it’s updated as well, so I hope you all enjoy it :)
Click on the name of the writer you want and their masterpost will show up!
only-freakin-sunflowers
filterlessmia
robbinsarizonas
fightuntilyoucan
jordan202: My boys The journey
ailingnoor
junkieshep
superheroamelia
superheroshepherdess
toevenexist
greysukay
amelia-blackshepherd
omeliathehurricane
storybrookelifestyle
juanitawritings
bafy-usy
darlingamelia
ameliaashepherd
omeliafanfiction
drreporting: masterpost 1 masterpost 2
fight-till-u-cant-fight-anymore
bethisinwonderland
hurricane-jenn
amelliashepherds
monicaaaaatje
xocaterina
owenameliafiction
the-hunts
thecrazy-shepherd
noonerememberseasy
nealcassidy
amelia-hurricane-shepherd
june-louise
ladysmuttrifecta
omeliaobsessed
amelias-universe
Please, if you are one of the writers included, check if your link is the right one and keep it updated if you can.
If you are a fanfic writer and you are not in the post send the link to your masterpost in our ask box! Thank you!
#omelia#omeliafics#omeliafanfics#omeliafanfiction#amelia shepherd#Owen Hunt#owelia#Amen#fic library#masterpost
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Top 3 ask thing: 46
Hey anon- thanks for your ask! ❤️The top 3 fan fictions that I’ve read, in no particular order: 1) The whole My Boys universe by @jordan2022) Where We Land by @juanitawritings 3) Full Circle by @omeliathehurricane4) The post season 13 fic by @filterlessmia I forgot the title!
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Still broken, but together - part 2
A lot of people asked for a second part of this fic so.. this isit! Thanks to @sheperdessamelia for the proofread and to @jordan202 for the medical advices!
In the OR, the dance really began. All the people were busy preparing stuff, checking things, walking around her bad in slow motion... the world was literally stopping in front of her, but she wasn’t scared anymore.
She wasn’t scared because she knows she had to fight. She had to fight for the people she loves, she’ll have to fight for Owen.
Meredith, Maggie and Alex were looking down at her from the OR gallery. It was good to see them there with her every steps on the way. Her eyes met theirs and she could see the fear hide behind those little smile on their faces. She can’t stand those looks: she have to prove them she was fighting.
“Stop...” She said and Deluca was immediately at her side. “What?”
“I said STOP. I’m still your boss, so... just stop!”
Everyone in the OR froze waiting for her to say something, but no word left her mouth. She just got up from her gurney, head-on, hands on her hips, a fierce look on her face.
“Superhero pose...” She said looking at Koracick. “Everyone. Or you’re fired.”
They stood there for some minutes, Amelia’s eyes still on the gallery. She could watch the fear literally left their eyes... like a magic. She did that because she was a freaking superhero and no tumor could change that.
She sit on the OR table. She was ready now... without fear, surrounded by love.
The anesthesiologist put the mask on her face and in a few seconds her eyes closed.
Meredith took a deep breath, Alex was sitting with his head popped on his hands and Maggie was nervously tapping her foot.
“She will be fine.” Meredith said, the others nodded. “I can’t loose another sister, I can’t. And I can’t loose another shepherd even if she isn’t my favorite one.”
“She went through hell in her life, this can’t be the end of it.” Alex said.
One hour.
Two hours.
Three hours.
Hours he passed pacing up and down the waiting room. He tried to sit down, but he couldn’t. He thought about going to the gallery, but only thinking about watching her laying on that table, lifeless, made he regret even thinking about it. He can’t imagine watching someone with his hands literally in her brain. He can’t imagine someone touching her. So he just continued pacing without even looking up.
“Ehy... Owen... Owen....”
Someone took him away from his thoughts so he raised his eyes from the ground still walking.
“Hey... Owen, stop! Just sit down with me.”
It was his sister.
“I can’t.”
“You will make me have a really big headache if you don’t. Please.”
“Ok ok.”
He sat down with a sight of frustration and began tapping furiously his foot on the ground.
“Meredith said the surgeon is doing a good job, he is halfway, no complication so far...”
Owen nodded, still nervously shaking his leg. He felt tears running on his face. It was one the more frustrating thing he ever did. He just wanted it to be over, he needed to hold her again against his chest so she will be protected from all the bad things of the world. He was her husband, but he couldn’t protect her from this.
“She said why she went away months ago... before the surgery. She wanted to make sure we were on the same page, together.”
“Really? And could you understand her now?”
“I can. I should’ve understood her a while ago. I was sure it was something related to what she said... but I really didn’t want to give up on my dream. Now, I don’t care. I just want her to come out from those doors safe and healthy. We could fix all of this, but she has to be alive.”
“She will be. I’m sure she will. You will have your happy ending. You deserve it more than anyone.” Megan put an hand on Owen’s shaking leg, trying to calm him down, but if there is only one little possibility that you could loose the love of your life, no words, no hugs, no one, could calm you down.
After a few minutes, he began pacing again through the room. Megan couldn’t do nothing. Just follow him with her worried look.
Back in the OR, all the attending ware watching every little movements of Koracick, trying not to focus of who was on the table, but that was nearly impossible.
“Dammit! This damn vessel...”
They all got up when they saw from the screen the cavity on Amelia’s head filling with blood.
“Aspiration.... now! Faster... I can’t see anything.”
The monitors began beeping and everyone stopped breathing.
“I have to find the source. I have to... Ok! It’s done. How’s the pressure?”
“It’s rising.”
“Thank god. How long was she under?”
“40 seconds.”
“That’s good.”
A sight of relief escaped from Deluca’s mouth followed by a big smile hidden under his mask.
All the people in the OR and in the gallery began clapping their hands. Most of them with shining eyes...
“Ok! Let’s close!” Said Koracick: He couldn’t show that, but he was so relieved that was over. She was his better student after all.
“I’m going tell Owen.” Alex said going out.
In the moment Owen saw Alex walking his way after 8 long hours, he stopped.
“So... there was a little hemorrhage, but she is fine now. Her stat are stable. Her pupils are reactive. Now we just have to wait until she wakes up.”
“I just want to see her.” Owen was more broken than before. This is not over. More waiting, more frustration, more fear....
“They are closing right now. Just go to her room in the ICU. I think they would take her there soon.” Owen nodding going away.
“Should I follow him?” Alex asked to Megan.
“No, let him be. He need to be alone now.”
Another hour passed before he heard the door opening... and there she was: her skin even more pale than before, her head wrapped in a bandage, a tube for making her breath. She seemed so little on that bed, it was nearly impossible for him to look at her. He just sat down near her bed, took her freezing hand between his and rested his head on her lap.
“Can someone bring an heated blanket? She is freezing.”
“I’ll take care of that, Dr, Hunt.”
“Thank you, Deluca.”
One day passed, then another.
People passed in front of Amelia’s room only to find always the same situation. Amelia asleep and Owen by her side. They began to worry about him. Sometimes Megan or Meredith will bring him some food of coffee but he barely touched them.
The third day after her surgery, Koracick arrived for his daily check up, followed by residents.
“Deluca...”
“Amelia Shepherd, 35. Third day of post op after the removal of grade I benign meningioma. Stats are stable, involuntary
reflex and pain response was good right after the surgery.”
“Yes... we already know all those stuff, but she still is not up. Can you tell me why please?”
“I already told you, Dr. Hunt. Her brain need to heal. It was in that condition for years... we are not talking about weeks...”
“Yes, you already said that, but it’s not possible you can’t do anything!”
Owen raised his voice even more. He was exhausted. He wanted to hear Again her voice and look in those blue eyes, plus the fear she will not be the same as before was real and increased every moment.
“I swear, if you messed up this, I’ll make sure you will not touch a brain again. Even from a dead body.”
“Complication could happen... it’s our job...”
“Not this time!”
“Dr Hunt, you are unreasonable...”
“Nope. You are!”
Deluca’s attention was taken away from the two doctors, who continued their quarrel, by a sound. He looked at Amelia. She was rejecting the oxygen tube. Andrew ran to her side.
“It’s ok. Just a minute.” He said to Amelia. “Dr. Koracick? Dr. Koracick? Dr. KORACICK!”
Finally their attention was on Amelia and immediately Koracick went to take the tube out.
“Water...” was the first word she said and an intern passed a cup at Owen.
“Hey... you are awake.”
Amelia just smiled at him and then wincing in pain. Her headache was too strong for her to do something more.
“Are you ok? Pain?”
She just nodded.
“Where?”
She pointed at her head and Koracick said: “that’s normal...” and she mouthed “I know” smiling again.
A little chuckle escaped from Owen’s mouth.
“So, you know the drill... Do you know who you are, where are you and what today’s date is?”
She just nodded, but her eyes were closed again a few moments later.
“Ok. That’s good. Let her sleep. I’ll come check on her in 2 hours.”
All the doctors went out, apart from Owen who was the happiest man in the world right now. In the moment he realized he didn’t have nothing more to worry about, tiredness fell over him and he fell asleep with his head on Amelia’s lap.
An hour or so after, Amelia’s eyes fluttered open for the second time that day. She was awake, she was alive and she had her husband still there. He didn’t run away after what she told him. Her hand moved on his strawberry locks, her fingers dancing in them. He stirred and opened his light blue eyes immediately locking them with hers.
“Hey sleepyhead... I know a woman that can’t wait to be held by you.”
“Really? Just one? Did you see me? All the woman in the world want to be held by me!”
Owen said showing his muscles.
“Yes, but I think you’re stuck just with one!”
Said Amelia laughing.
“That’s disappointing... so I have to settle for you.” He said closing the gap between them and kissing her.
“I couldn’t wait to kiss you again.”
“And I couldn’t wait to be kissed by you. I missed you so much.”
“Me too. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Owen was now spooning Amelia, like before the surgery and they just savored the quiet and wellness they can give each other.
“Owen...” whispered Amelia. “About the things I said before the surgery...”
“Amelia, we will talk about that when we will be out from this bed and at home. I always thought we could fix anything, now more than ever.”
He tenderly kissed her neck, smelling her scent. They were both there, two broken pieces completing each other.
I hope you liked it!
#amelia shepherd#Owen Hunt#Meredith Grey#alex karev#maggie pierce#megan hunt#andrew deluca#omelia#omeliafanfics#omelia fanfiction#omeliafics#season 14#14x04
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The Journey - Part Seven
Thank you @jia911 for proofreading and @bluebelle18 for the amazing help with episode dialogue.
Previous chapters are HERE.
Timeline for Part 7:
This chapter sets throughout the events of episode 11x07. One detail about it is that EVERY dialogue this chapter contains was taken from the episode. So it’s one hundred percent canon, I merely added impressions, thoughts and feelings.
The Journey – Part Seven
Owen opened a bottle of beer and took a long sip, hoping it would relieve some of the stress he was feeling. His eyes traveled around the spacious backyard of Derek Shepherd’s land and the trauma surgeon spotted the light inside one of the bedrooms on the top floor to the right.
He knew it was Amelia Shepherd’s room and immediately Owen felt guilty for so flagrantly diverting his thoughts to her again. One week ago, during an unpretentious evening, the two of them had shared one of the most intense physicals moments he’d ever experienced. They hadn’t had sex or even kissed but for some reason, Owen had left the house feeling more sexually charged than he could ever remember feeling.
But then came guilt. He just couldn’t seem to get the rebellious neurosurgeon out of his mind. She was Derek’s little sister and yet all Owen could think about was how touching her had made the blood rush inside his veins. It was all very confusing. At the same time he’d become strangely protective of Amelia and didn’t even know why, Owen also wanted to lock himself in a room with her and get lost in the gracious curves of her feminine body. For some reason, it felt like he was walking into forbidden territory. Derek was one of his best friends. Owen wasn’t exactly returning his generosity and loyalty by constantly fantasizing about his baby sister.
The intensity of his feelings and desires were troubling the trauma surgeon so much that all he could do was to stay away from Amelia as much as he could. At work, Owen would talk to her the strict necessary and at home, he would avoid crossing paths with the woman at all costs. A couple of nights before, he’d waited until the Shepherds had turned in for the night and kept his promise to change the engine filter of Amelia’s car. At the hospital, she’d made sure to thank him between surgeries and it was then that Owen realized she must have been feeling as awkward as he did.
Every time he remembered how closely they’d stood and the way she had closed her eyes but he’d backed away, Owen felt like punching himself. Even though rationally he’d made the best choice, avoiding a strain to their professional relationship, Owen also couldn’t believe he’d missed out on the chance to kiss her. The memory haunted him every time he saw the woman and for that, the trauma surgeon became even more determinate to avoid seeing Amelia Shepherd as much as he could, despite really enjoying her company.
.
Amelia had started off her day on a very positive note. Everything at the hospital seemed to be working out perfectly. Except for the fact that her boss didn’t seem much interested in talking to her.
A few weeks before, she and Derek had had awful discussions about what they both wanted and needed for their careers, sending Amelia on an annoying depressed mood. Later on, her frustrations had vanished when, unexpectedly, the chief had assured the neurosurgeon that he had no reason to fire her. Owen Hunt had proven with statistics and official hospital data that Amelia was thriving at the job but what had touched her most was the amazing feedback he’d given her with his own words.
Amelia hadn’t been working for Owen for long but she’d already quickly grown to admire him. As chief, he was fair and inspiring. The guy was always interested in reaching out to his employees, took suggestions well and ran a tight ship under his strong command. It was a general opinion around the surgical floor that Owen Hunt had all the qualities of a great leader. He rarely made mistakes and when he did, the man was humble enough to apologize and try to fix them, setting the example for his employees to do the same. While he was confident and inspired order and security, he was also noticeable humane and understanding. All those traits added together made everyone on the floor respect and look up to him.
And Amelia was no different.
Owen had been one of the few people in her life who had took a leap of faith with her and believed she could do something good, even when Amelia herself wasn’t fully sure she could. Sure, he reprimanded her when he saw it fit, but Owen also made sure to compliment and encourage her and that’s more than Amelia had ever been given before from an authority figure. In her past, a lot of people had treated her with decency and kindness, but never had she seen anyone expect the best from her on a first impression. The friends she had in LA were incredibly supportive and respectful, but before their bond and even professional relationship had developed, they had already known Amelia on a personal level.
Meanwhile, Owen had granted her privileges to work at the hospital upon her brother’s request, but then against expectations he’d hired her as chief of department, affirming he believed she had what it took to do it. When he’d first met her, the chief hadn’t focused on the fact she was young, impulsive or simply Derek’s sister. Instead, he’d chosen her because he’d seen Amelia as her own person, acknowledged the merit in her work and believed in her capacity to perform the job. Ever since that day, the neurosurgeon had been determinate not to disappoint him.
And yet today, for the first time, she’d felt like she had.
After a busy morning helping out with traumas in the ER, Amelia had humbly offered to go update the patient’s family. That had been the worst decision she made that day.
As she approached the old couple’s daughter, Amelia had the darkest secrets of her life exposed by a total stranger. Breaking every oath in the book, the distressed young woman had shouted to the entire floor about Amelia’s addiction. It all happened so fast and unexpectedly that the neurosurgeon felt numbed, out of reaction. It was like she was living one of her worst nightmares in bright colors, exposed for everyone to watch. Her recollection of the moment included her boss stepping up in a matter of seconds, taking the woman away from the scene to prevent more damage. And then her brother coming in her direction.
Amelia fully expected Derek to come to her aid, say words of comfort and show support. But instead, he’d given her an icy, judgmental glance and completely ignored her in front of the entire staff. In the eyes of the spectators, Derek might as well have said that he fully agreed to the woman’s impressions about his sister. The patient’s daughter had requested another doctor to the case and even when Owen Hunt had already removed the woman from the scene, Derek had gone on and showed everyone where exactly he stood. The way he’d then closed the curtains on her face hit Amelia like a punch to the stomach without a warning.
That was it. The final act to the sad show she kept reenacting all her life, everywhere she went. Soon after, as she walked through the halls, she could hear people whispering about her and pointing fingers. Not for the first time in her life, Amelia heard that she’d only achieved something because she was Derek Shepherd’s sister. The young neurosurgeon had lost count of how many times before she’d found herself in that very same scene. Somehow, for Amelia, only screwing up was never enough. It seemed like life made sure that on top of it, she had exposed her traumas, failures and losses to the world.
Coming to Seattle had been one last attempt at starting over with a clean slate. One final attempt at not letting what had long before happened dictate her future. But once again, her past caught up with her and hit the young surgeon right on the face.
“I need to talk to you.”
Amelia had been so nervous that she’d gone to the one person she knew could understand her. Talking to Richard Webber was a wise decision because Amelia was able to expose her fears and insecurities. After she’d guaranteed Richard that she was sober, he was of fundamental help by saying she was under no obligation to tell anyone. Webber had been the chief of surgery for a long time and Amelia valued his insight. According to the man, as long as she wasn’t doing anything that compromised her ability to do her job, Amelia’s private life could remain private. Even though she still felt the weight of everything that had just happened, including her brother’s betrayal, the neurosurgeon was finally able to hold her head up high.
With a deep breath, Amelia left the room. No one was entitled to know. Her past was in the past and she didn’t have to defend it to anyone. Later that day, she would go to a meeting and do exactly what she needed to be done. She would follow the instructions by the book, because the woman had long before learned that that was the only path to maintain her sobriety. Just like it had happened every now and then, life had knocked Amelia down.
And just like always, she would once again rise even stronger.
.
Owen paced back and forth inside his office, trying to set his head straight. It felt like his day had taken a full turn. Just earlier that morning, he’d been thinking about the chance he’d had to kiss Amelia Shepherd and how he’d missed it. But now, his concerns were of a much deeper level.
Like everyone else on the floor, Owen had been surprised to hear a strange woman shouting that his head of neurosurgery suffered from drug addiction and had once woken up next to her dead boyfriend. At the moment, Owen hadn’t hesitated. He’d spotted the initial shock on Amelia’s face and before everyone else could regain their composure, he’d already gotten the woman out of the room, preventing the situation from getting even worse. Because of that, Owen hadn’t been around to watch what’d happened afterwards, but unwillingly, he’d heard all the gossip.
According to the voices that got to his ear, Derek Shepherd had walked past his sister with a look of despise on his face. He’d taken over the case and left her there under everyone’s scrutiny. When he’d first heard it, Owen felt like punching his friend. How could he leave his own sister in a position like that and simply do nothing? Owen could never do the same. But the more chief thought about it, the more alarmed he felt.
If Derek had not stepped up to help Amelia or even deny the accusations that had so violently been thrown to her face, it could very well mean he agreed to everything that was being said. When the senior neurosurgeon had first appointed his sister to replace him, Owen had felt that, even though Derek clearly trusted her abilities, he still had reservations about the younger sibling. Slowly, a lot of thoughts were starting to alarm him and Owen felt a sick feeling to his stomach.
His gut had told him that Amelia Shepherd could be trusted, but was it possible that for the first time in his life, his instincts had deceived him? If her own brother hadn’t stood by her, was it possible that the woman really was a risk? It made sense that Derek wouldn’t openly wreck his sister’s reputation by sharing that information about her, but his silence also spoke a lot.
Owen spent the following minutes reminiscing about the time he’d spent in the company of the woman and the way he’d carefully inspected her work. Was Amelia Shepherd really a drug addict? Why had no one told him about it when he’d first hired her?
And worse, was it possible that she was still using?
Amelia had always been full of energy but up until now he’d never found it particularly intriguing. If she was indeed consuming illicit substances, it could very well increase her performance and explain why she spent so many hours loaded with so much hustle, going back and forth and working all the time. It could also explain why she sometimes acted so impulsively. Even though never had she done anything exactly reckless, Owen had noticed Amelia took more chances and engaged in more risky behavior than any of the other surgeons. She pulled stunts like awake craniotomies on infants. Just the previous week, Amelia had had a very suspicious domestic accident and after admitting she’d spent two days straight at the hospital, she had remained seated beside him awake and alert, interacting for hours without the slightest sign of being exhausted. And the fact Owen knew virtually nothing about her past or the reason why she’d moved from Los Angeles also added to his now long list of doubts about her.
All signs pointed to a reality Owen wasn’t ready to acknowledge. But before trusting assumptions and making speculations, he knew what he needed to do. Talking directly to the woman was the only way to go and the least she deserved was the benefit of the doubt.
Picking up his white coat from the back of his chair, Owen put it on and quickly left the room, determined to go find her.
.
Amelia had just heard another round of hateful whispers when she heard the unmistakable voice of her boss startling her.
“Dr. Shepherd… Uh… Can we go somewhere private and talk?” Owen asked considerately. At the same time he needed to hear the truth from her, there was absolutely no need to submit Amelia to public judgment. What she had to say was no one’s business.
“I’m busy right now, actually.” Amelia replied evasively.
“This is important. Listen.” Owen hoped with everything that she would cooperate. He had spent long minutes pondering about the situation and unfortunately, considering all the information he’d gathered, it wouldn’t be that surprising if Amelia was indeed everything she’d been accused of. “Is there anything you want to tell me? To clear this up?” He added, anxious to hear it from her. Owen realized he was almost hoping she would explain everything because he really didn’t want to change his mind about her. Amelia was doing a remarkable job ahead of the neurosurgery department and he had believed in her from the start. Not only did Owen not like to be wrong, he had just realized that he’d also come to genuinely care about the woman.
“I don’t. I think you heard all the facts.” Amelia replied. She remembered what Richard had said and held her head up high. The neurosurgeon didn’t owe anyone explanations. As long as she was doing her job well, and Owen had stated not long before that she was, no one was entitled to knowing anything.
It took a lot of effort for Amelia to hold herself together. At the same time Richard’s advices had helped her stand her ground, she couldn’t help feeling like for some reason, she wanted to tell the chief of surgery the truths about her past. Amelia had always kept it hidden, afraid to talk about it because people never reacted well.
But somehow, Owen had always given her the impression that he wouldn’t judge if he knew. He’d never refused to listen to her and now he was actually asking. During the past month, even when Amelia had acted out, he’d never treated her like he was dealing with a child or patronized her. Slowly, she developed the impression that maybe this guy actually respected her as a woman and as a professional. That was something Amelia wasn’t very used to.
But a lifetime of disappointments after trusting people prevented Amelia from taking that leap of faith with him.
From there on, Owen dealt with her refusal to say anything else. Her reaction alarmed him even more. If Amelia didn’t have anything to hide or be embarrassed about, why wouldn’t she explain? The chief of surgery had made sure he wasn’t accusing her of anything. He had been pretty clear he only expected to hear her side of the story in an attempt to help her. But even then, Amelia refused, making Owen’s suspicions only increase.
.
Later that day, after updating the patient’s daughter with Derek, Owen found out a bit more about the situation he was having a hard time managing. The woman in front of him apologized, making sure they knew she was aware she’d just broken an oath. It became clear then that Amelia was indeed a drug addict, considering she went to meetings. But what added to Owen’s stress was Derek’s remaining silence.
“Derek, what am I looking at here?”
And just like before, Derek kept his mouth shut, refusing to give out more information. Even though Owen didn’t want to believe it, he was left with no choice. If there was any chance that Amelia Shepherd was a risk, Owen couldn’t keep her on as chief of department. If she really was using drugs, Owen knew he would also have to revoke her privileges. Until he was sure Amelia was clean, he needed to make a decision about her, but up until now, there were merely suppositions. And Owen hated that. What he really wanted was to hear something concrete, so he could act on it. By keeping their silence, the Shepherd siblings were pretty much leading him to believe that Amelia really couldn’t be trusted and as chief, Owen had to put the hospital’s best interest ahead of anything else. Regardless of how much his gut told him there was more to the story, Owen couldn’t force the neurosurgeons to talk. And no matter how personally affected he felt to see Amelia Shepherd in such distress, Owen knew that at that moment, his professional side would have to win the battle inside his heart.
Without a second thought, Owen decided to call a board meeting.
.
Amelia didn’t for a second consider that day could get any worse until she was alone with her brother inside one of the hospital rooms. She’d already had a hard time processing that Derek hadn’t stepped up to help her.
But when Amelia figured out it was her job he was after, she felt like she’d lost her ground completely. Apparently, their chief of surgery had had the decency to go after Derek for an explanation, probably after he’d unsuccessfully tried to hear it from her. But instead of helping her case, her brother had made it even worse.
“How can you do this to me?” Amelia raised her eyes to meet his gaze, feeling destroyed.
“I will…” Derek tried to explain himself before being interrupted.
“To me?!” Amelia shouted, unable to hold it back any longer. Her own brother had not only failed her, he’d also betrayed her. Derek had let her reputation get ruined on purpose, because he thought it would increase his chances of getting his old job back. Her brother knew how chronically Amelia struggled with her addiction, how much hurt and loss it had given her and how hard she worked every day not to be defined by it. The fact that he’d put the position inside the department above her personal well being and feelings made Amelia not only angry, it made her disgusted. She knew in her heart that in his place, she would never have done the same, no matter what in the world they were going through.
“I will fix it!” Derek insisted.
“How can you do this?” Amelia felt her heart breaking in a thousand pieces. Derek had always been her reference. Amelia had grown up without a father but since she could remember, her older brother had been someone she could look up to. In the past, she’d disappointed him over and over and her entire family made sure she knew it. But now, the concrete realization that Derek wasn’t at all the super hero figure Amelia had always imagined him to be completely shattered her. When their father had died, she’d felt like she’d lost her security figure. But now, after what Derek had done, it was like her entire support system was not only gone, but it had also turned against her.
“I will talk to them! I will talk to all of them, and I will fix it.” Derek assured her, looking genuinely distressed.
“You’re my brother.” Amelia sustained his gaze, trying her hardest not to lose control. She wanted to hide in a corner and cry, but life had taught her better.
In silence, she watched as Derek assented with a head nod and putting on his best empathetic face, he left.
Amelia never hated him more than she did at that second.
After watching her brother leave, she sat back and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Somewhere inside those hospital walls, their chief of surgery had probably decided to fire her and Derek was the one to blame for it.
In a matter of seconds, a movie ran through Amelia’s mind and she felt sick. She thought about the time she’d gone over to apologize to Derek after crashing his car and he’d refused to see her. And how worried she’d felt after hearing he’d got shot. During that time, her brother had completely ignored her calls. When Amelia had heard from Addison that Derek was often in touch with his ex-wife and yet refused to talk to his own sister, her world had collapsed.
Unlike most people in her family, Amelia wasn’t resentful or excessively proud. So she’d taken a plane and gone over to see him. Her brother had once again humiliated her, making her feel unworthy in front of his wife she’d just met. And later on, he’d kept the recurrent act of not talking to her, lecturing his sister like he’d do to a young kid until his anger built up and he exploded, saying hurtful things. Derek had repeatedly done it because he knew he could get away with it. Amelia was his little sister and at some point, she would forgive him. Especially after years of developing an unbalanced notion that she needed him more than he could ever need her.
That was their circle. Amelia realized. That newly found grasp of reality hurt like hell. After doing and saying a lot of things that he knew would hurt her feelings, Derek would simply move on to making a sweet, heartfelt speech. Amelia would buy it, and eventually she’d forgive him. The young neurosurgeon didn’t doubt her brother spoke from the heart and that he really loved her. But even though she understood where his actions, anger and fear came from, it didn’t give him the right to treat her like his personal punching bag. That unfair circle would stop right now.
Amelia was sure that, when the entire situation was fixed, Derek would redeem himself. He would lower his walls, control his ego and apologize. She would be angry for a few days but because she was uncapable of holding a grudge much longer, soon enough, she would forgive and forget. That’s what they always did. But somehow, now it felt different. This time, the idea she’d had of him had shifted completely.
Because Amelia had just realized that not only her lifetime super hero was flawed and wouldn’t always defend her, by taking advantage of her feelings and vulnerability sometimes Derek could actually act like her personal enemy.
.
Owen looked around and saw all the board members gathered around the table. Arizona Robbins was the only one missing but since she was stuck in surgery, he proposed they started the meeting without her. And yet before they could even start, Derek Shepherd barged into the room, clearly distressed.
“I know you’re trying to figure out what’s going on. I know you’ve heard some stories about Amelia. I let you believe something. I let you believe that…”
Owen heard the words spoken by the neurosurgeon and frowned in confusion, interrupting him before Derek could continue.
“Shepherd, you were pretty clear when we spoke, so...”
“She’s in recovery. She works really hard at it. She’s been successful in recovery and… “ Derek closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Owen kept gazing at him, eager to believe every word the guy was saying. “This hospital should have protected her. This woman should have protected her. And… More importantly, I should have protected her.”
Owen noticed how the neurosurgeon stopped again, taking a deep breath, as if he had a hard time saying the words that were leaving his mouth. The chief of surgery turned in his chair, puzzled. Owen didn’t want to jump to conclusions so he wouldn’t be disappointed again but if what Derek was saying was true then it meant he hadn’t been wrong about Amelia, after all.
“I didn’t. And I didn’t because I wanted her job. I wanted my old job back. So now we’re here. My fault.”
Owen noticed how everyone around gave Derek a baffled look, having a hard time believing he had actually done that to his own sister. When Meredith spoke, the neurosurgeon quickly interrupted her, gazing straight at the chief of surgery.
“She should stay where she is, Owen. She can do the job. She is doing the job. I couldn’t do it any better.”
After the heartfelt confession, everyone quickly processed what Derek had just said and moved on with their obligations. One by one, the board members left, until the chief was the only one sitting in the room.
It took him a few minutes to realize he was clenching his own fist, so hard that his knuckles had turned white. Owen took a deep breath, trying to control his temper but even without a mirror, he could tell his face was entirely flushed with anger.
Derek Shepherd was an insensitive idiot and if Owen could, he would punch the guy in the face. Earlier that day, it had been frustrating enough to find out that the neurosurgeon had let his own sister down and failed to be there for her. But now, after hearing Derek had on purpose helped stain Amelia’s reputation, nearly getting her fired just so he could get his old job back had made Owen start to wonder if he knew Derek as well as he thought he did. Thankfully, the guy had redeemed himself in time but to think he was actually capable of acting like that in the first place made the chief of surgery question all the impressions he had.
His thoughts shifted to Amelia and he couldn’t help feeling his chest constricted. She didn’t deserve what had happened to her that day. Even though it’d caught Owen by surprise to hear about her drug problem, something she probably should have disclosed when she’d first been hired, he understood why she had been secretive about it. He knew very well about being judged and scrutinized because of a personal problem. Many times before, Owen had had people questioning his skills and job performance because of his personal problems while refusing to look at him as a whole person. He had been reduced to being his PTSD and today, under his eyes, Amelia Shepherd had been reduced to her drug addiction.
But there was more to it, Owen noticed. Just like him, who struggled to maintain his mental health every day, Amelia Shepherd also refused to let her past define her. If he already admired her before, now Owen held her in an even higher regard. He didn’t judge Amelia for having a problem; instead, he saw her as a stronger person for overcoming it and showing up to work with dignity and commitment every day, refusing to get any sort of special treatment or victimizing herself.
The way she had somehow gone from using drugs and losing a boyfriend to achieving the position of head of department by her own merit spoke a lot about her resilience and for the first time since he could remember, Owen felt the urge to go see her. They had more in common than he had realized and that day, as he left the hospital, the trauma surgeon hoped with all his heart that he’d run into her at home.
.
“You okay?”
Amelia heard the words as she entered the house and froze in response. She was more hurt than she would ever admit. Her first impulse was to leave the room without even looking at her brother, but she remembered what she’d just said and heard in AA and took a deep breath, anxious to avoid that conversation and go straight to her room.
“I was at a meeting.” Amelia shared, watching as her brother asserted her words with a head nod. “I am moving out tomorrow.” She informed him, determined to get out of his intoxicating presence. The younger neurosurgeon couldn’t begin to explain how mortified she was at her brother’s predicament.
“I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry.”
There it was, Amelia realized with an eye roll. Now that all the anger had cooled down a bit, it was time for that step in Derek’s predictable moves.
“Don’t, Derek. Don’t even bother.” She added, walking right past him. Amelia was in no mood to put up with his sensitive apologies, references of the past and guilt trips.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
As she heard his voice, Amelia stopped walking and defensively stood in front of him, sarcastically replying:
“I’m sure you didn’t.” She slightly nodded her head in disapproval and met her brother’s eyes, making sure he knew how she was not okay with the situation. “I am sure you didn’t even think about me. You saw an opening and you took it.”
“I have always wanted to protect you ever since dad died. I didn’t want to… I’m sure you didn’t want me to. But I promised.”
Amelia looked up at her brother and for the second time that day, hated him. Derek had no right to once again bring their past into their argument just to win her over. He didn’t need to remind her of the significance he’d had in her life and the way his words were sweetly disguised made Amelia’s anger boil inside her chest. She stood in front of her brother, empty staring through him, waiting until he was done talking so she could finally leave his presence.
“Then you came up here, and I realized I didn’t have to worry anymore. You were okay. You were fine. You were more than fine. You could take care of yourself now, and I didn’t need to anymore.”
At the sound of his words, Amelia lifted her chin up higher. How could he even believe she was fine? Using compliments to try to win her over also weren’t going to work. She knew damn well she could take care of herself as she’d done for the past two years. But she also didn’t need Derek to be testing her.
All of a sudden, Amelia felt guilty for feeling so bitter. Deep down, she knew Derek truly loved her and wanted the best for her. But today, he didn’t get to be forgiven. Not yet.
Today, Amelia had every right to thoroughly despise him.
“I needed you today.” She added, trying to sound indifferent while making a point. Amelia watched as her brother took in her words and processed them, obviously struggling to come up with what he had to say next.
“I don’t know who I am anymore. Not anybody I ever thought I’d be. I try to make the right choices for Meredith, for the kids, you… And, um… I’m angry all the time. I’m miserable and I don’t know what to do with it. All I do is hurt people. The last people I want to hurt. And I just can’t get control of it. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Amelia sustained his gaze, watching as her brother spoke the words with sincerity. She understood very well what he meant, because that day, Amelia had felt angry and miserable and a big disappointment too. Those were all things she could relate.
But right now, Derek didn’t really deserve her sympathies or her shoulder to cry on. Not when he’d been the one responsible for making that potentially bad day into one of the worst Amelia had ever had. Gazing at her brother with her feelings stamped in her eyes, the neurosurgeon pulled herself back together and decided to go to her room, leaving Derek to lick his wounds. All his life, her family had pointed fingers at her for acting out when she’d felt hurt, lost and confused. Her brother included.
But today, Derek had discovered exactly what it was like to be in those shoes. And unlike Amelia, he’d let his ego get the best of him, hurting the people he loved the most.
“I know how you feel.” Amelia gave him one last look before finally walking away with her head up high, knowing that that time, for a change, she was the Shepherd that had no reason to be ashamed. “We call it rock bottom.”
.
Later that night, Amelia had a hard time falling asleep. Before she could realize what she was doing, she found herself by the windowsill, where she sat with her legs folded in front of her body. Amelia wrapped both arms around her thighs and rested her chin between her knees, idly gazing at the window outside.
Everything was dark and eerily silent. Not a single cricket was chirping and instead of feeling at peace with the lack of disturbance, Amelia felt lonelier than she’d ever felt. At that moment, she only had her own thoughts to keep her company. And for the first time since she’d broken off her engagement, Amelia wished she had someone to come home to.
Almost immediately, her head turned and the neurosurgeon spotted the only source of light her eyes could find. From a distance, she could see the dimly lit interior of the trailer where her boss lived in. It was nearly two in the morning and Amelia wondered what was he doing up. For a few minutes, she distracted herself, imagining if he also had trouble sleeping that night. Was he reading a book? Watching TV?
Reminiscing about the events of the day?
Amelia thought back about the way he had approached her by the OR board and considerately asked to hear her own version of the story. It was strange not being instantly judged. Amelia was so used to being frowned upon that having someone bother to hear her before deciding she was a disappointment had become the exception rather than the condition.
But then, there was Owen Hunt. With his understanding blue eyes that somehow felt like they could see through her soul. It would have been completely acceptable if Owen had reprimanded her for not going to him first with the truth but instead of censoring her, the guy had offered to listen and help her. Just the week before, he had showed up at her door when Amelia was home alone and entertained her with his presence at the same time he captivated her with his strength and integrity. She remembered the way Owen had touched her afterwards and how they had both been taken aback by the intensity of the contact.
The thing was, Amelia had somehow come to like him. To really like him. She respected the guy as her boss but above that, she admired him as a decent and considerate human being.
Taking a deep breath, Amelia pondered about her situation. The day after, she was going to look for the chief and explain everything, making sure he knew how she felt. That would be her first step towards regaining control of her life and resuming the plans she’d made when she first moved to Seattle.
For some reason, thinking about being in good terms with Owen Hunt comforted her and Amelia was finally able to go to bed, unaware that she had just made the choice to trust her heart with the only man who would never take her feelings for granted.
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#omelia#owen hunt#amelia shepherd#thejourney#thejourneyfanfiction#greysanatomy#greys anatomy fanfiction#greys fanfiction#omeliafics#omeliafanfics#omeliafanfic#amenff#owelia#jordan202
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Idk how many people I’m speaking for when I say this, but if other writers ever wanna come by my chats and bounce ideas off of me, and me off of them, I’d be more than willing. I think we should be able to come to each other for tips and stuff, as a community. I, for one, could use some serious continuity tips from @jordan202 because like howwwww is my boys still consistent???? explain, voodoo being.
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What are your top 5 favourite omelia fics?
omg, a little hard for me to choose, I love those writers who make me feel all the feelings xD and if they are fluffy and with pregnances even better, but it changes from time to time, at the moment I would say:
@toevenexist I love fluffly, and pregnancies and all of them
@juanitawritings one of my newest discoveries, all the details and feelings , I love your writing Lu
@jordan202 My Boys, no need to say more ;)
@drreporting ugh, those angsty fics are the worst/better xD
And finally because I couldn’t decide I go for @omeliathehurricane and @robbinsarizonas
Thanks for asking ;)
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Title: Make You Feel My Love
Author: Jordan202
Summary: How far do you have to go to make someone feel your love?
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8352063/1/Make-You-Feel-My-Love
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OMELIA END OF THE YEAR FANDOM AWARDS! Tag a person for each category! Best Angst Fic, Best Fluff Fic, Best Smut Fic, Best Funny Fic, Most Talented Writer, Most Talented Overall (artistic, musically, etc), Most Beautiful, Most Kind, Best All Around.
Oh my gosh, this is so tough!
Best angst fic: Echo by @drreportingBest fluff fic: Summertime in Seattle by @juanitawritingsBest smut fic: DIY Christmas Decorations by @greysukay Yes, I know this was technically in 2017, but it was so great that I don’t really care.Best funny fic: Any of the My Boys stuff by @jordan202 generally has little moments that makes me laugh.Most talented writer: Ugh, no, I can’t pick!Most talented overall: I feel like this is hard because the people in this community have such varied talents...Most beautiful: I know I’m probably leaving someone out, but I remember seeing pics of @aameliashepherd and @sheperdessamelia, and they are both beautiful women.Most kind: @juanitawritings I love Luana for her kind, gentle way.Best all around: Gotta be my main girl, @omeliathehurricane. She puts up with my crazy, my talkativeness, my being busy at random times, and everything in between. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. Love you, boo!
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