#jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

schrijverr · 3 years

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Me reflected in your eyes

Since it was so dark on the moon, Tim has no clue what Jonny looks like. When Jonny finds out one of his lovers survived, he is desperate to make sure Tim never finds the link, so that the other can’t become mad at him or blame him. But it is pretty hard to hide such things and Tim never blamed Jonny for a moment.

On AO3.

Ships: Tim x Jonny (x Bertie, but he’s already dead at the start of the fic)

Warnings: grief, low self esteem, mentions of war.

~~~~~~~~~~~

It was dark on the moon, this was not uncommon knowledge, but people sometimes didn’t realize to which extent that fact was true. The soldiers would get vitamin D supplements just to survive and most had no clue what their comrades looked like.

This was also true for Jonny and The Toy Soldier, this was great news for The Toy Soldier, since now less people realized how deeply unsettling the wooden soldier could be, but it was less then ideal for Jonny.

You see, Jonny had fallen in love on the moon.

Yes, the great Jonny d’Ville, known for his emotional constipation had found not one, but two people who loved him despite the ways he found himself to be lacking. Tim and Bertie had held him and told him how much they loved him, even if they’d never even seen his face.

Jonny both loved and hated this. On one hand, he was convinced the two would stop loving him the moment they saw him, but on the other hand, the not seeing made this little bit of joy last longer and prolonged the time before he would be rejected.

He knew he wasn’t that much of a catch, many people had told him his manic eyes could be unsettling and he was on the short side with a baby-face. Jonny never liked the way he looked and his personality also wasn’t winner material, but the two had loved him regardless of that.

It probably wouldn’t have lasted, though. Not that it matter now, the moon was gone and so were Tim and Bertie.

Sighing again he looked out of the window of the observation deck once more. The stars were peaceful and Jonny liked getting lost in them.

A small cough pulled him out of his thoughts and he turned to see Nastya. She looked uncertain, which made worry bubble up in Jonnys chest as he asked: “What’s wrong?”

“Uhm, well, you see, Jonny. Me and Brain were clearing out the docs lab and, uhm, there is a person there.” Nastya said.

“What?” Jonny exclaimed.

“I wouldn't have bothered you with it if he wasn’t halfway to mechanized and it seems unlikely we can reverse the process, but that’s not all…” Nastya trailed off, uncertain.

“What are you not telling me?” Jonny said in a vaguely threatening tone.

Nastya reached into her coat and pulled out a necklace as she said: “He had these hanging around his neck.”

Jonny stepped closer taking the necklace to inspect the dangling pieces of metal only to stumble backwards in shock, eyes wide, fear in his heart. It was not just a necklace, it were dog tags. Dog tags that read: Tim, G.

“It- it can’t be.” he said.

“I’m sorry, Jonny. I thought you would like to know.” Nastya told him, “I can complete the process or he can stay half-mechanized, but I don’t know what that will do to him long term. So far only me and Brian know, who he is and that he’s even here, if you’d like us to not tell the others or something, we will.”

“No one can know about this. Take me to him.” Jonny demanded.

In the lab Brian was organizing stacks of papers and clearing away most of the experiments that had been on display, in the center of the room there was a familiar examination table, with on it a prone form of a young man that Jonny recognized to be Tim from their short introduction at the Moon Kaisers throne.

“Are you okay, Jonny?” Brain asked worriedly, when he came strolling in.

“Do I look like I’m alright?” Jonny snapped at him as he walked over to the table, inspecting Tim closely. He was as pretty as Bertie always said he was, even with his face half open and full of metal. Jonnys heart clenched, Tim didn’t deserve this faith.

He carded a hand through Tims long hair and a small strained smile appeared on his face at the familiar sensation. He could feel Brian and Nastya looking at him, but he couldn't find the strength inside him to snap at them for it.

“How did she find him?” he asked softly instead.

“According to his file, she thought it was you in the little space shuttle, but no other details are known.” Brian answered.

A pang went through Jonnys heart, this was his fault. Carmilla had gotten her hands on Tim in an attempt to find him. It was his fault he would never be able to find Bertie in the afterlife, if that even existed, or find peace if it didn’t.

He swallowed heavily and asked: “Do you think you can successfully fix him up completely?”

“I mean, it would take a while and it might not be as seamless as other mechanizations, but I think I can figure it out with her notes.” Nastya told him.

Jonny thought about it for a moment. He looked at Tims ripped open face, then at the slow rise and fall of his chest.

“Do it, don’t tell the others who he is and don’t mention me to him.” it might be selfish, Jonny knew it was selfish, but seeing Tim, alive, he couldn't find it within himself to leave him like that. Tim might be angry, but that would only be once he made the connection, if Jonny just kept his mouth shut, he would be able to witness this, one of the loves of his life, being there, even if it was just out of reach.

With that Jonny turned around and left, only managing to keep up a strong facade until he was in the comforts of his room where he broke down crying, clutching the dog tags.

He stayed in his room for nearly an entire month. He was sure the others had caught on to the fact that something was wrong with him, but he didn’t care. Jonny had no time for Ashes asking if they needed to burn someone alive for him, or The Toy Soldier asking if he needed some tea or even Ivy asking if she could help him in some way.

What he needed was for Tim to be okay and not mad at him. He needed the other to know everything and tell him it wasn’t his fault. For Tim to hold him, like he had done so many times so that Jonny could just take a breath and not feel like the weight of his decision was crushing him and making him feel like he was going to break in two.

The only person he reacted to was Nastya, who knocked on his door and called out: “If everything goes to plan, he should wake up somewhere this week, I though you’d like to know.”

“Thank you. Have the other said anything?” Jonny asked.

“So far they think it’s the reality of the doc being gone that’s crashing down on you.” Nastya told him, “Me and Brian have not discouraged this.”

Jonny nodded even if Nastya couldn't see it. The silence between them hung heavily, until Nastya said: “I have to go now, please take care of yourself, Jonny. Aurora tells me you died too many times in there, I’m getting worried.”

“Piss off.” Jonny managed to push out of his throat, sinking back onto his mattress willing the world away as Nastyas footsteps disappeared down the hall.

About a month later Ashes was knocking at his door as they yelled: “Jonny, I’m fed up with your bullshit, I know everything sucks right now, but I don’t care that you don’t want to meet another one of her creations or something. This new guy needs everyones support, even your grumpy ass, so you better get out there and at least say hi.”

Jonny was quiet, so Ashes said: “He already knows there is another member he hasn’t met yet and he thinks you already hate him for no reason at all. Please, just push your own issues aside for a second.”

That made Jonny look up, the idea that Tim thought he hated him was enough for him to move. He stank like hell and looked a mess, however, so he knocked three times on the door.

“Alright, you get fifteen minutes, but I’m waiting here for you and I will blow up your door if you aren’t here by then.” Ashes said.

Quickly jumping into the shower and getting himself dressed, Jonny was done in ten. He probably still looked like he’d been beaten by the sandman in a bad way, but that couldn't be helped.

“There you are, I was kind of expecting the octokittens to have eaten you by this point.” Ashes joked, but Jonny wasn’t really in a mood for that, if even one person had slipped up and told Tim his name, he would be fucked.

Ashes seemed to catch on and said: “Brian and Nastya really pressed us to not mention your name to the new guy, I don’t know what happened, but he’s not so bad. I’ll respect it, only because I know you wouldn't fuck with another mech for no reason, but don’t be too hard on him, okay.”

Jonny nodded, lump in his throat. He was mentally prepping himself for what to even do when he met Tim. He couldn't talk or Tim would know, but staying silent would be weird.

Lost in his thoughts as he was, he missed getting to the room Tim was in until he heard Ashes say: “This is the latest guy.”

Then a familiar voice said: “Uhm, hello, I’m Gunpowder Tim, but most just call me Tim. No one mentioned your name yet.”

Looking up Jonny came face to face with Tim, his eyes were horrible, and faintly Jonny remember how Bertie used to wax poetry about them and he was sad he never got to see them, but still the beauty of Tim was overpowering.

Alive and standing he seemed more human. He was taller than Jonny had realized and in perfect proportion and when he smiled a shy smile, he could see that all his perfect teeth had survived his mechanization.

In short, Tim was gorgeous and Jonny had never felt less worthy.

If he had been planning on making any noise, it would have died in his throat. Instead he just stood there as silently as he had intended to be.

When the silent dragged on, Tim got more uncomfortable as Ashes raised a brow at him. They asked: “Are you gonna say anything?”

Jonny swallowed and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He had no clue what to do, if he were to talk he would have to explain and he- he- he just couldn't right now. His mouth snapped closed and he stumbled backwards.

“Are you okay?” Tim asked and all the times he’d asked that after a battle flitted through Jonnys mind as he collapsed to the floor.

He could hear Tim ask Ashes what had happened, while Ashes sighed: “He’s not always the best mentally, I- I have no clue what set him off, but it’s not your fault. Could you be a dear and go see if you can fetch Nastya? Tell her the idiot is being himself again.”

“Yeah, of course.” and Tim ran off.

Ashes then turned to Jonny and crouched down as they asked: “Wanna tell me what the fuck happened?”

“I- I can’t- voice- it won’t.” Jonny stammered, unable to put in to words what was going on with him, as he broke down crying.

Right at that moment Tim returned with Nastya, if Jonnys vision hadn’t been clouded by tears he would have seen the guilty and concerned expression on Tims face. Nastya took in the scene and sighed: “Goddammit.”

“Come here, cowboy.” she told Jonny as she hoisted him up, “No use in giving Tim a guilt complex or something, you don’t want that right?”

Jonny shook his head and Nastya told Tim: “He’s in a bit of a strange head space right now, but I promise you that he is glad to meet you. Sometimes, words, you know? He will write you an apology when he’s up to it.”

She led Jonny away from Tim, hoping Ashes would be of some help on Tims end. The poor lad hadn’t had it easy since he woke up, with the sudden loss of everything he knew and the patch job of a mechanism shoved into his face. The fact that he was coping as well as he was, was frankly a freaking miracle.

Back in Jonnys room she said: “Okay, I know you probably weren’t there by choice, but he is on the edge of breaking. I feel like denial is what’s keeping him going right now, so you’re going to write a nice letter for him and stay out of his way for a while, alright?”

Mutely Jonny nodded, then he whispered: “Thank you, Nastya. Can you- can you keep an eye on him?”

“What do you think me and Aurora have been doing? I got your back, don’t worry about it, just try to figure out what the fuck you’re gonna do, because you’re not going to be able to hide this for forever. And it is going to be forever.” Nastya told him, before she walked out of the room.

That night Jonny spend hours bent over his little desk, fucking up his back in an attempt to get his messy ‘I-went-to-school-for-only-three-years-or-something-give-me-a-break’ handwriting into a neat and coherent apology/explanation:

Deer Tim,

My apologys for my urlyr behaver. I dont know what the others have told you about the crew before you came aboord, but it changed recently and I have been attemting to just work threw that. This has nothing to do with you, sorry.

I hope your ajusting well to this new life. And I hope we can become friends or at leest akwaintences at some point, because you seem like a okay guy.

I will attemt to carry a notebook with me, so that we can talk, because my voice is kind of fucked right now.

Hope this helps.

That would have to do, Jonny thought. It was both a good excuse not to use his voice and make Tim suspicious and it would hopefully make Tim feel better about everything, which had been the final goal.

The letter was nothing like Jonny wished he could say to Tim, nothing like the thousand of apologies that had played through his mind and the million ways he’d come up with to attempt to make things right again and be able to keep Tim close once more.

Jonny handed the letter to Nastya, who promised to hand it on, before he went on his day. He might be dealing with a lot right now, but so were the others and as First Mate, he should be there for them.

It actually went well, the others were getting by as good as possible and it felt good to have the weight that was Carmilla of their shoulders. Jonny was careful with speaking, always checking to see if Tim was near before opening his mouth, but it worked.

After that weeks passed by. Jonny saw Tim a total of three times and had manages each interaction without speaking or making Tim upset in any way.

Tim himself, however, was not doing so hot after a while. The reality of everything had finally caught up to him and he was using his newfound armory to let out his frustrations and anguish on a bunch of crates.

Jonny wanted nothing more than to go over and hug Tim, tell him that he felt his pain and that he missed Bertie too, but he refrained.

It was better to let Tim work through the grief without adding his own to it. It was better for Tim to not know that one of the people he had loved was responsible for what had happened to him. It was better to let him think Jonny was gone too and not have to come to terms with the betrayal.

Through Carmilla, Jonny knew firsthand how it felt to be betrayed by someone you trusted in this way and he wasn’t about to let Tim go through the same.

For about four months explosions and rage echoed through the halls, before it seemed Tim had worked through the anger stage. In that time Jonny had avoided him as much as possible, knowing he would be unable to stop himself if he were to see him.

Tims process was hard on the other members of the crew as well, but all had similar touches with grief and were used to staying quiet and out of the way of someones wrath.

When the raging stopped all had been walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it became clear after a while that Tim was now just lying in his room, not interacting with the world around him.

Aurora reported his first death of starvation a while later and it was decided that Brian should go up and check on him.

The Pilot came back a long while later to report that Tim had not noticed he died and thought he had fallen asleep and that Tim had freaked out a lot, before collapsing and saying he didn’t care anyway and had wrapped himself up in a bunch of blankets again.

It was about a year after Tim had been pulled aboard the Aurora that he had processed most of what had happened to him the best a mech ever would.

He made fast friends with Ashes and was often found in Brians company as well as rekindling his friendship with TS. He also tried to talk with Jonny, but Jonny wasn’t quite ready for that yet and almost always shut down whenever Tim tried, leaving the poor gun-lover confused.

Jonny had come up with an infinite amount of ways to tell Tim it was him and explain what had happened, but none seemed good enough and every scenario he could come up with ended in Tim hating him.

Beside, it seemed like Tim had finally managed to get himself together and Jonny was determined to not be the one to pull him apart again.

But as Nastya had already said, he wasn’t going to be able to hide this forever and soon enough he found himself caught in a reveal.

Tim had obviously caught on to the fact that he didn’t like talking to him and that everyone referred to the First Mate with a moniker instead of his name, almost as if they were trying to hide something from him and he was confused about what.

He had gathered that Nastya and this mysterious guy were closest and had gone to her to ask what he had done wrong.

Jonny on the other hand considered Auroras engine room, also known as Nastyas safe space, as his own safe space. He’d go there to bitch and whine or to sit in silence comfortably, knowing she wouldn't ask and just offer a hug.

Today, he was coming in to annoy her, since she had been holed up for a week and Jonny had deemed that enough lack of social interaction. He threw open her door, not noting that there were two figures in there, and loudly yelled: “A normal person needs interaction and you had enough you-time with Aurora, lets bitch about life.”

Instead of the groan of annoyance he was expecting, he got a small gasp from Nastya, then a loud yell in an achingly familiar voice: “Jonny? It’s you?”

His eyes met Tims as they grew wide and in his momentary panic, he replied: “If I say no, will you believe me?”

“You- you- you survived? You’re- you’re immortal.” Tims voice broke.

Jonny swallowed, completely unequipped to deal with this. He stood frozen in place until Tim got up, at which point he turned around and got the fuck out of there, the whole situation making his head hazy with stress.

He locked his door behind him. Looking around his messy room, he decided that this was his new home for the rest of eternity now, because he didn’t think he was ever going to be ready to deal with that confrontation ever.

Alas he only got a full three seconds of peace before someone was banging on his door. It wasn’t hard to figure out who it was and his suspicions were confirmed when Tim called out: “Love, angel, darling talk to me. I know you’re in there.”

At first Jonny wanted to stay quiet, pretend he wasn’t in there, but the knocking and calling out continued, until it became weaker and weaker and Jonny could hear sobs from the other side of the door.

“Go away, please.” that had not been what he wanted to say, but Tim was still in shock and the moment he thought about it, he would be mad at Jonny and Jonny didn’t think his heart could take that.

Tim gasped, shocked. Then he heard a chocked back cry before Tims footsteps disappeared down the hall.

With Tim gone Jonny allowed himself to fully break down. This was it, Tim knew. Now he was shocked, but then he’d think about it and see how it was Jonnys fault this happened and he’d get mad at Jonny and take back all the times he’d told him he’d loved him, which were the only memories keeping his sane right now.

He would probably tell the others what happened and Tim was a sweetheart and incredibly precious, so who wouldn't be on his side and then they wouldn't want Jonny there and he’d be tossed out and on his own again.

Not that he didn’t deserve it, but it would still hurt.

Jonny didn’t know how long he sat there, but he was pretty sure he died of dehydration a few times and it felt like he had become one with the floor.

A loud knock startled Jonny out of the emotional blocked out trance he had been in and Ashes called out: “Oh my fucking god, Jonny, get you stupid ass out here now and go apologize to Tim and make things right or I swear to everything unpleasant that I will burn all your stuff.”

“What?” Jonny replied, startled.

He of course did not know that Tim had done nearly the same routine of locking himself into his room and crying, however, Tim had been more responsive to outside help and let Ashes in. He had told them everything and they had gotten pissed on his behalf.

You see, Tim had not interpreted everything as Jonny had feared, instead he had assumed that Jonny had never even loved him, but had seen him and Bertie as a little plaything that fell away compared to his immortal lifespan.

When Ashes heard this incredibly stupid explanation of events they had filled the blanks that had confused them about Jonnys behavior the past year and marched to his room to yell at him for being a dumbass.

“He thinks you hate him, go tell him you love him.” Ashes told him.

“What!” Jonny exclaimed, tugging open his door with a shocked face at the same time Tim came running into the hall: “Ashes, no, don’t-”

On the side of his face there was a little blood, it was clear that Ashes had killed him to get a head start to Jonnys room, but he still managed to look breathtakingly beautiful.

For a moment Jonny was speechless, open and closing his mouth helplessly while he waved his arm around meaninglessly. Then he swallowed and brokenly asked: “You really think that?”

“Think what?” Tim replied, sounding so vulnerable.

“Do you really think I hate you?” Jonnys eyes were full of heartbreak and his voice full of disbelief.

“Why are you acting like that’s such a weird conclusion, Jonny?” Tim asked him, “Why are you acting like you didn’t ignore me for a year and desperately tried not to have me find out who you were while I mourned you? While I was alone? I missed you, I needed you and you weren’t there.”

Jonny didn’t know what hurt more, the broken tone of Tims voice or the use of his name. Tim took so much joy in finding the sappiest petnames to use and Jonny had almost forgotten how his own name sounded in that voice.

Tear sprung in his eyes and he hardly noticed Ashes quickly backing away as he answered: “Because you should be hating me right now.”

Tim sighed, all the frustration and anger leaking out of him as he said: “Why do you always think that you’re to blame? We tried so hard to tell you how worthy you are, why do you always do this to yourself?”

The tears now really started to fall as Jonny fell to his knees, sobs tearing from his throat. He didn’t know why he always blamed himself, it just always seemed so logical that he was the thing that messed everything up.

He was just babbling, apologizing over and over again when Tims knees appeared through the watery haze of tears and two arms wrapped around him.

Tim pulled him close and kissed his temple as he rocked him back and forth every so slightly, like all the times Jonny had had a nightmare in the trenches. He whispered into his hair: “It’s okay, it’s alright, love, just let it out. I’m not mad at you, I still love you.”

Jonny was barely able to form words, but his mind clamped onto how important it was that Tim knew how much he loved him as well, so he chocked out: “I love you too, so so much.”

The arms around him squeezed him for a moment and Tim brokenly told him: “I know, dear, I know.”

They could’ve sat there for eternities and not have noticed with how lost they were in one another, just glad to have the other safe in their arms. They might be missing someone, but at least they could bear that heartbreak together, at least they weren’t alone, not again.

Never again.

#RR writing #The Mechanisms #the mechs #tw: mentions of war #tw: low self esteem #tw: grief #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim & jonny d'ville #gunpowder tim #Ashes O'Reilly #bertie (the mechs)#jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim

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catocomet · 4 years

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shippers of jonny dville x gunpowder tim, i propose a ship name.

antimony, the most explosive element

#that is all #the mechanisms #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #jonny d'ville x gunpowder tim

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bog-teeth · 4 years

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yes i have mechanisms brainrot what of it

anyways i binged the fiction this morning-

its all just nastya angst.

#I JUST WANT WHATS BEST FOR HERRR #nastya rasputina #the mechs #anastasia nikolaevna #the mechanisms #anastasia nikolaevna romanova #jonny dville #jonny d'ville #gunpowder tim #drumbot brian #ouatis #nastya x aurora #the mechanisms spoliers #the mechs spoilers #bog scribbles

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schrijverr · 3 years

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Reunited

Tim and Bertie had fallen in love with Jonny on the moon, but when Bertie died Tim had left Jonny behind. He realizes how much he regrets it when he’s getting mechanized. After he finds out Jonny is alive, he vows to make it up to him and does his best to mend their relationship again.

On AO3.

Ships: Gunpowder Tim x Jonny d’Ville

Warnings: grieving and working through some issues. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!!

~~~~~~~~~

It was dark when Tim woke up.

He didn’t think he would wake up again when he had confronted the Moon Kaiser, so the fact that he was alive in the darkness was strange. He tried to move, but found his hands and feet were tied down to the surface he was lying on.

“Stop wiggling.” a voice said.

Tim did not know who the voice belonged to, but his head swiveled in the direction it had come from in an attempt to see who it was.

The person snorted and said: “I don’t think that will help, since I’m currently making you a pair of eyes. I’m Doc Carmilla, by the way, a pleasure.”

“What happened? What do you want from me.” Tim now really started to struggle against his bindings as he tried to get away.

“You were in an explosion.” the voice, Doc Carmilla apparently, told him gently, “You lost your eyes and I’m making you new ones. All I ask is cooperation.”

The fury from before was reignited in his veins as he continued to struggle fiercely. He wasn’t about to become an experiment of the Moon Kaiser or anyone else. He was Gunpowder Tim and if he’d had enough righteous anger to cut through thousands of Lunar Men, he would have enough to break out of here.

Doc Carmilla sighed and Tim felt a prick in his neck. As he started to loose his grip on the world, he heard her say: “Only people who cooperate get progress.”

When he woke up again a few days had passed, not that Tim would know since he’d lost his sense of time in the darkness. He startled, but before he could do anything Doc Carmilla spoke: “Don’t struggle again, it’s already been slow going since my help was emotionally compromised and I can’t work on your face if you struggle.”

“I don’t even know what you’re doing to me.” Tim protested.

“I’m giving you a second chance at life, away from everything that has brought you such misery. A new family to call your own that will be there forever. Don’t you want that, Timothy? Don’t you want that new beginning away from there?” she asked.

Tim thought about that. He didn’t really know the answer, he hadn’t thought about a future since he’d lost Bertie. His only focus had been to kill the Kaiser or die trying, no matter the price. What was he going to do now that it was over?

“It’s alright if you need time to think.” Doc Carmilla told him, “You’ll get plenty of time to think anyway.”

Then she started to work and most of the pain from getting metal shoved into still healing wounds took over for coherency.

But it came back to him when she left him, apparently done for the day. He pondered how he had avenged Bertie, how he could heal now, but the more he thought about it, the more he had failed him.

While they might’ve already been in love before they arrived on the moon and had known each other since they were little, it hadn’t been just the two of them, not anymore. There had been a fierce soldier, who really shouldn’t have been enjoying himself that much, that they had loved as well. His name had been Jonny, Jonny d’Ville. And Tim couldn't help but feel like he had abandoned him.

Jonny might have been manic from time to time with too much bloodlust for his tiny body, but he had also been soft and insecure.

Tim could remember the nights, where they had held Jonny between them as they whispered reassurances to him, while he was overwhelmed with the unfamiliar praise and affection that they heaped onto him.

But then Bertie had died and Tim hadn’t been able to see through his own grief. He’d gone on a rampage, leaving Jonny to fend for himself without a shoulder to lean on.

It felt like a punch to the gut and a bucket of cold water over his head. He had allowed himself to loose someone he cared about, someone he loved. He still had someone left and he hadn’t cherished the love he could have had.

Bertie would have killed him if he knew. The other man had taken to Jonny so quickly that Tim would have become jealous if he hadn’t trusted Bertie so much. Bertie took joy in figuring out what made Jonny blush or smile softly, just like he’d done for Tim so many years ago.

Tim missed that, missed Bertie, missed the three of them in a heap next to the campfire while Jonny softly sang of worlds far away.

Jonny never told them how he knew those songs and he would only sing them for Tim and Bertie in those quiet peaceful moments. Tim had learned to look forward to them and hold them near to his heart, but it seemed he had forgotten this lesson and now he would never hear Jonny sing again.

It was only then that it hit him that he might have been the one who killed Jonny. If he was here and did his duty then the moon was gone, along with everyone on it.

He had not only abandoned Jonny, he had murdered him as well.

That was what he thought about for the days that followed. Doc Carmilla would come in and work on him and he’d just lay there, mind somewhere else. He had failed both his lovers and he would do anything to make it up to them, but it was too late. He’d never be able to make it up to them again and that hurt deep to his core; the fact that he would never get to say sorry.

Then Doc Carmilla stopped coming and Tim was all on his own in the darkness once more.

Tim didn’t know how long he’d laid there before he heard a noise in the chamber he was in. He turned his head towards it, even though he couldn’t see and called out: “Who’s there?”

“Hmm, she’s farther along than I thought.” a heavily accented and slightly disappointed voice said.

“Who are you? What are you doing?” Tim was getting slightly nervous.

“Sadly, I have to fix you up.” the voice said coolly.

“Uhm, why?” this person obviously didn’t seem pleased of that and he was scared and confused in this never-ending darkness.

“Carmilla had to depart.” the voice answered, picking each word carefully “And I would have someone hound me if I didn’t and they found out, so here I am.”

“You don’t sound so happy about that.” Tim was getting worried the person would hurt him and he would be stuck and helpless here.

“I’m not, but you’re one of us now.” the voice sighed, “I’m Nastya, the engineer.”

“Oh, I’m Tim, Gunpowder Tim.” Tim replied.

“I know.” Nastya told him and after that she was silent, the only noises that of whatever project she was working on and the dripping of the IV keeping up his strength.

Tim tried to think of what he could have done to earn her anger, but none came to mind. What she told him also didn’t make sense, because who here knew him? He was still pondering that when she left, with a curt goodbye.

This awkward existing in the same space went on for another three days, before Nastya announced: “They’re ready. This is going to hurt, but then it’s over.”

He nodded and braced himself. For a second nothing happened, then something connected and his eyes started to burn. He screamed as his vision flashed white, a sharp contrast with the darkness from the past weeks, before his world went dark again as he passed out.

When he awoke this time, it was to a metal lab with contraptions and experiments everywhere. He was no longer bound and sat up in surprise. His eyes saw everything so clearly and it was hard just to take stuff in, but after a few moments he got used to it enough to walk.

Slowly he got onto his feet, still unused to walking after so long, and set out to find anyone who might want to tell him more about what was happening.

Tim was about to just start yelling when he heard voices further down the hall. He made his way to a doorway into a room with a few couches where five people were sitting and talking. He didn’t know who the metal man was, nor the red-haired woman, nor the other person, but his eye did fall on The Toy Soldier. It could be TS, who Nastya had referred to even if it didn’t like to be a someone. He was about to call out to it when the last persons face was revealed.

Jonny.

It couldn't be anyone else, even if Tim thought his brain was tricking him. It was the same face that would grin at him in the trenches or smile up at Bertie while laying in his lap. The same face. Jonny had lived, there was a chance Tim could make it up to him.

“Darling, you’re alive!” he yelled, racing forward to envelop a startled Jonny into a hug.

He squeezed him tight, before cradling his face in his hand and checking him over. Jonny looked completely unharmed, if Tim still had tear ducts he would have cried, instead he hugged Jonny again and said: “God, I was so worried about you, love, I’m so so sorry for leaving you, you didn’t deserve that I’m so sorry. How can I ever make it up to you, angel?”

In his arms Jonny looked very surprised, he’d gone still when Tim hugged him and now just sat there quite shocked. Then he softly asked: “You still like me?”

Tims heart broke, it got shattered in a thousand pieces that lodged themselves into his insides and tore through him. He assured him: “Of course I still do, I love you, I’m sorry I made you feel anything different, cupcake.”

Jonny sagged into his touch and Tim could feel his shoulders shake as his clothes got soaked in tears and nails dug into his back as Jonny clutched his coat tightly.

“Tim, Ol’ Sport, It’s You! I Did Not Know You Had Made It.” The Toy Soldier exclaimed, finally recognizing the familiar face.

“Tim, as in broke Jonnys heart Tim? Left him crying for days Tim? That Tim?” one of the people he did not know asked.

A stab of guilt went through Tims heart and he held Jonny closer as he kissed his temple and whispered: “I’m so sorry, bean, so so sorry.”

Jonnys grip only tightened in return, while in the background TS answered: “That Seems Like The Description Of Tim, Mx. O’Reily.”

“Who ordered you to call me that, go back to just Ashes.” the person, apparently Ashes, said then their look turned dangerous, “So, how do we know we can trust him to not do that again?”

“Hold on, Ashes, maybe let him explain first, we can threaten him later.” the metal man told them, he then smiled at Tim and introduced himself: “Hi, I’m Drumbot Brian, most call me Brian and I am the Pilot of this ship. Nastya did talk about finishing something, but she hadn’t mentioned what, has she explained what happened?”

“I don’t think she expected me to wake up yet.” Tim told him, not letting go of Jonny for a second, “She wasn’t there when I woke up and she’s mostly been giving me the cold shoulder.”

“That’s to be expected, with how we found Jonny over you.” the woman with the red hair said, “I’m Ivy Alexandria, pleasure.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m Tim, Gunpowder Tim, but most just call me Tim.” he didn’t extend a hand, too focused on the warmth of Jonny safe in his arms.

“Can we go back to focusing on what’s really important?” Ashes asked loudly, “Namely making sure this guy here doesn’t break Jonnys heart again.”

“I’m right here you know.” Jonny mumbled, “And he didn’t break my heart.”

Ashes raised a brow at him and said: “You cried for the first time in centuries and blubbered on about him enough for the Doc to not even tell you she picked him up. Not to mention this current limpet show.”

A flush overtook his features and he was about to let go, much to Tims dismay, when Brian stopped him and gently explained: “They didn’t mean it like that, Jonny, stay put, it’s obviously helping. They’re just pulling the overprotective card, let them do their shovel talk, then we’ll leave you guys alone to talk.”

Jonny kept holding on, relief clear as day, while Ashes pouted: “It’s not a shovel talk, Brian, it’s a proper intimidation act.”

Ashes turned to Tim and crossed their arms, from their standing position they looked down on Tim with disdain as they began: “If you hurt him ever again, I will cut you to pieces and make you watch as I burn those pieces to ash. I will kill you repeatedly in many increasingly painful ways and I will not stop until you beg, beg, me to please make it permanent and then I will kill you a few more times again, before I defy everything you are and murder you, before feeding you to the octokittens. Are we clear?”

Tim swallowed thickly and he could feel Jonny tighten his grip, before he softly whispered: “Don’t leave me, I’ll make sure to protect you from them, please stay.”

“Of course I’ll stay, baby.” Tim assured him with a kiss to his temple, before meeting Ashes gaze, “Nothing will make me leave or hurt you again, no matter how hard they try, I promise.”

Ashes scanned his face, but seemed content with what they found. They nodded approvingly, before ushering the others out while saying: “Come on, lets let these two catch up.”

With them gone Tim focused on what was most important, Jonny. Those others were obviously his family, so he’d felt the need to impress them, but now that was over and he had a cuddling lover to take care of.

Jonny was still crying a bit, although it seemed the heaving sobs from before had ceased. It was clear that Tims departure after Berties death had had more impact on Jonny than he could handle and Tim felt so incredibly guilty over ever leaving him. He’d known how much Jonny could doubt himself and their affection and still he’d left him in the middle of a war zone, alone, to cope with the fact that one of his lovers was dead and the other had apparently left him.

It seemed impossible, but Tim hugged Jonny closer, pulling him into his lap. He rocked him back a forth as he hummed softly.

After a while Jonny sagged even more into his touch, so TIm softly said: “I know we probably still need to talk about a lot, but right now I would love nothing more than to cuddle and sleep, if you’re agreeable, marshmallow.”

“Yeah,” Jonny mumbled into his neck, “I’d like that.”

“Good.” Tim told him, before scooping him up into his arms, half concerned and half glad he was still able to do that, as he asked: “What way, princess?”

A recognizable blush spread over Jonnys face as he pointed into a direction and Tim smiled to himself, some things never changed. Tim started walking while keeping up a constant stream of soft chatter, only pausing to ask for more directions that Jonny provided silently.

The room they arrived at was clearly Jonnys, the messy décor reminding Tim of his equally disorganized pack, while the belt and guns scattered around screamed Jonny.

Against the wall stood a big bed with a ton of pillows piled on it and Tim filed the soft nest away in his mind with new things to learn about Jonny in this new setting, as he gently put Jonny down between the blankets and other plush on his bed.

When Tim put him down Jonny whimpered slightly and Tim whispered: “I’m just taking off my shoes and outer layer, it’s a bit dirty and I want your bed to stay clean. That alright, sweet pea? Want your boots off too?”

Jonny nodded and Tim set to work. He kicked off his own shoes uncaringly and shrugged off his coat and trousers easily, but when he got to Jonnys boots he knelt down and softly undid the laces, before sliding the boots off gently.

He looked up and smiled at a now completely red Jonny and asked: “Do you want the belts off too, dove?”

After biting his lip, Jonny nodded and Tim undid his belts and slid them off, being mindful of keeping the same gentleness throughout the entire progress.

As Tim climbed onto the bed Jonny wiggled out of his own trousers as well and shrugged off his waistcoat. Then he rested his head on Tims chest, who instantly wrapped two arms around him and held him closely as he drifted off, the entire day finally catching up to him.

It took Tim a bit longer to find sleep. He didn’t know if it was because he’d woken up just over an hour ago or because he was still reeling over the fact that Jonny was still alive. It was frankly a miracle, but now that he thought of it, he should have seen this coming.

Back on the moon Jonny used to make a lot of immortality jokes, but he would get rather defensive if anyone called them that or didn’t believe him. Bertie and Tim just humored him and tried to keep an eye out, but The Toy Soldier always seemed 100% agreeable over it, which made sense after seeing it here. So the logical conclusion was that all those jokes along with the forever family comment from Doc Carmilla meant that Jonny really was immortal and after Ashes’ shovel talk it wouldn’t surprise Tim if he was now too.

That was quite a lot to take in, but Tim didn’t really have time for an existential crisis, he had to focus on Jonny and making things right between them. Apparently they were going to have forever and he needed to be his best for his beloved right now, so compartmentalizing it was.

It took a while, but Tim fell asleep too, listening to the soft breaths coming from the small figure in his arms. He’d studied Jonnys face closely, it was still as lovely as he remembered, even with ruined eyeliner covering it.

When he awoke it was Jonny who was studying him. He had been hovering over him when he’d opened his new eyes and had startled back when he’d realized Tim was awake. He said: “Oh, hi, good morning, Tim.”

“Good morning, sunshine.” Tim smiled, “How did you sleep?”

“Great, fine, better.” Jonny mumbled, looking a bit embarrassed, “It was nice to have you here.”

He had always been a terrible sleeper and Tim knew his and Berties presence had made it easier for him to sleep and it was nice to know that it still did. Tim smiled: “That’s good to hear.”

Jonny bit his lip, started to say something and then stopped. He looked at Tim again and Tim grabbed his hand, lightly squeezing to silently let him know that he was there and that it was okay. Jonny softly asked: “You are here, right? This is not just in my head?”

“Yeah, I’m really here.” Tim looked Jonny in the eye, but Jonny adverted his gaze, so he gently took Jonnys cheeks between his hands and said: “I mean it, Jonny, I’m going to do everything in my power to make you realize that I will never leave you again. What I did after-” a deep breath, “after Bertie died was stupid and hurtful and I have to live with the fact that I did that to you when you didn’t deserve it. I love you, Jonny, you’re my everything, and I will stay by your side and tell you that as much a possible for as long as you’ll have me.”

Jonny was crying again, Tim didn’t know if this was a good thing or a bad one, but he held him nonetheless, whispering sweet nothings into his hairline and leaving soft kisses along it.

“I’d- I’d like that.” Jonnys voice cracked, but he sounded so relieved and all Tim could do was squeeze him tightly and hope Jonny would understand.

They sat there for a very long time, Tims stomach was rioting, but he didn’t dare disturb the peaceful air around them. Jonny was playing with his fingers while Tim rubbed his back. After making one of his fingers crack, Jonny seemed startled for a moment, then he asked: “Have you gotten a tour of the ship yet?”

“What?”

“A tour, of Aurora, the- the ship?”

“Oh, no. I just woke up and wondered around a bit.”

“Then I’ll give you one, get dressed.”

Jonny was out of the bed and pulling on clothes, suddenly bustling with activity as he fluttered around the room. He turned and looked expectantly at Tim, who smiled softly and said: “I don’t have clean clothes, poppet.”

“Oh, of course.” Jonnys face got an understanding look on it as he began to dig through his closet, “I think I have one of Brians sweaters here from when I stole it and I must have a pair of sweatpants that can fit you. It will be too short, but it will have to do. And we have to ask Ashes to make sure they’ll get you some new clothes when we land some place habitable.”

The clothes thrown over his shoulder hit Tim, who took them and put them on. The sweatpants were indeed too short, but the sweater was oversized. It reminded him of Berties sweaters that he used to steal.

“Are you alright?” he asked, unsure what brought on the sudden need to move after Jonny had seemed perfectly content to just sit on the bed for the entire day not even a minute ago.

“You need to know where you’re going to stay, right? I mean, you can’t be expected to be with me the entire time, so I need to show you.” Jonny explained.

It sounded like watertight reasoning, but Tim couldn't shake the feeling that Jonny just didn’t want to come across as clingy, which had always been a fear of him. Tim put his arm around Jonnys waist and said: “I think I’m not going to leave your side anytime soon, but I do love to hear you talk, chipmunk, and a sense of direction would be nice. So lead the way!”

He saw a small smile flit over Jonnys face and couldn't help, but pat himself on his back for the excellent reply he had given.

They walked through the halls as Jonny rambled on about the different places behind closed doors, sometimes opening them to show Tim. He was not a very good guide, his talking was chaotic and all over the place and the route never really became clear. But Jonny seemed happy to talk and Tim was perfectly content to listen.

Jonny opened another door as he said: “So this is the kitchen, me and Brian mostly cook, because Ashes tends to burn anything and Nastya and Ivy can’t cook to save their life, you know, so we make the best of it and- oh, hi Nastya.”

“Hello, Jonny,” Nastya crossed her arms and gave Tim a judgmental one over, “Tim.”

“Hi, you must be Nastya.” Tim stepped forward and held out his hand, “We kind of did meet, but, you know, a face to the name.”

Nastya didn’t shake his hand and Tim dropped it. He could feel the nervous energy radiating of Jonny, from what the others had mentioned they must be close and it pained Tim that Nastyas anger at him had this impact on Jonny.

“I know you don’t like me.” he sighed, “I get it, I really do, I feel terrible about leaving Jonny too and I wish I could go back and slap me for it, but I did what I did, okay? I can’t change that and it seems like we’re stuck here together for forever, so you being mad isn’t going to make things better. I’m trying to make it up to Jonny, please, please, give me a chance.”

He didn’t see how Jonny made pleading eyes at her behind his back. He needed Nastya to be okay with Tim, he needed her to give him a chance and he needed her to be there and still like him if it went wrong.

Her shoulders sagged and she warned: “If I ever, and I mean ever, see Jonny cry over you again, I will cut off you genitalia and throw you in Aurora’s engine.”

“Nastyaaa.” Jonny whined, she raised a brow at him: “What, Jonny? It’s not like he won’t deserve it then.”

“I agree with Nastya, dear, full responsibility and accountability.” Tim said.

Jonny rolled his eyes and groaned: “Why is everyone suddenly so overprotective off me. I’m the crazy one and the oldest, I am the protector, not some damsel in distress.”

“Which is exactly why.” Tim and Nastya said in unison, they both looked at each other and Tim felt a slight victory at Nastyas small smile.

“Whatever, I still need to show Tim the couch room.” Jonny started to walk away, before Tim could follow Nastya stopped him and said: “Jonny isn’t the best guide, if you ever need to find anything, just ask Aurora.”

“The starship?”

“Yes.”

And with that Nastya walked away, while Jonny called out to him from where he had walked off in the other direction. Tim quickly walked over and they continued the tour.

Dinner that evening was provided by Brian and quite an awkward affair. Tim tried to get to know the others, but it seemed they had all decided to see if he proved himself worthy, before they accepted him. Brian did offer polite conversation, but that bled dry rather quickly.

In the end he just gave up and ate his dinner in silence, Jonny fiddling anxiously besides him.

The next few days went on quite similarly. He spent most of them with Jonny, who would alternate between too much energy and silent and sullen. Tim tried to keep up with him, but he was starting to get concerned about it and the stares at dinner, which was still violently silent, weren’t helping at all.

So, when they were lying in Jonnys bed, he still hadn’t gotten around to asking Ashes for his own (not that he wanted that), he asked: “What’s going on in that head of yours, munchkin?”

“What- what do you mean?” Jonny asked and Tim could hear the vulnerable defensiveness in his voice.

“I’m just concerned for you. You never want to talk and in some moments you bounce around and in others it seems the world could burn and you won’t move. I just want you to be alright, okay? I want you to talk to me, so that I can try and help.” Tim said, sounding a bit desperate, “I love you, sweetheart, I don’t want to see you upset.”

“Well, I don’t need your concern, I’ve been doing just fine without you.” Jonny spat.

Tim should have seen the outburst coming. He knew he couldn't just walk in and have everything be alright again, but it still hurt. He bit his lip, trying to keep a sharp retort in, but failed: “And I’ve really been seeing that independence lately.”

He knew it was a low blow, but Jonny was already replying before he could take it back and apologize: “Maybe if you weren’t smothering me so much, you would.”

“I- Me? Have I been smothering you?” inside Tim screamed at himself that this was just what Jonny did, he pushed people away and got defensive as if to prove to himself that they wouldn't stay if they saw him. But Tims already fierce soul had turned snappish and angry in the war and he couldn't help, but let false venom spill from his lips.

“Yes,” Jonny crossed his arms, sitting up, “you’re always around, a guy needs his space. I’m not some fragile child that will break the moment you leave me. I survived you leaving me already, I survived a lot without you before that. I don’t need you, but maybe you should think about how much you’re clinging to me.”

The words were a punch to Tims gut, he was trying so hard to be better, to stay, but the hurt was still there in Jonnys mind and that wouldn’t just disappear with Tim here. Maybe Tim deserved to be pushed away.

He got up out of the bed and stated: “Alright, if I’m smothering you that much, then I’ll give you some space.”

And with that he walked out the room. If he had bothered to turn around, he would have seen how Jonnys face crumbled as he curled into a ball on the bed, contemplating if he should call out, but the door was already closed.

Outside Tim realized he had nowhere to go. He still didn’t really know the way and no one aboard Aurora liked him enough to help. Fuck, he really did need Jonny. Why was he so stupid? Why did he let his anger get the best of him?

He suddenly had no energy to do anything and just collapsed on the floor outside of Jonnys room and leaned against the door. He wanted nothing more than to go back in and apologize, but he still wasn’t sure if Jonny was serious about the smothering and he didn’t want to risk angering him even more.

Maybe if he was nice and stayed out of the way tonight, Jonny would want to talk to him again next morning and then he could apologize.

Tim felt like such a dumbass, sitting against the door in his nightshirt. He probably ruined all he did so far. Jonny didn’t need him, not really. Here he had a family that loved him and would die for him, even if they did come back, but Tim still wanted to be the one to tell him how much he was worth and how much he loved him.

It might be selfish, but Tim wanted to be the one to make Jonny blush and smile. He wanted to be there when his brain got the better of him and he needed someone to hold him and tell him it was alright. Tim wanted to be the one who made him happy, just like before.

But now he might have ruined that, just because he snapped back at Jonny even if he already knew Jonny didn’t mean it, that he probably did it out of an insecurity that Tim only fed into instead of banished.

Like an idiot.

He never thought he would miss crying, but now he wanted to do nothing more than give himself over to heaving sobs and hope strong arms would hold him, that Bertie was still here and would make it all better again.

Yes, Bertie would have known what to do and what to say. Bertie was always better about these sort of things, about Jonny. As much as Jonny had him wrapped around his little finger, Bertie could get Jonny to do what he wanted just as easily. Always the right words and smiles ready.

Tim sighed and slumped further against the door and tried to get comfortable on the metal floor, Bertie wasn’t here and the hole in his heart felt deeper than when he was with Jonny. He needed to make it up to the other, but he didn’t know how.

What would Bertie do?

He pondered the question. Bertie would respect Jonny, not be stupid and push him when he was already upset, but if it did go wrong, he would catch him the next day. So that’s what Tim would do now. Tomorrow he promised to himself and Bertie, tomorrow he was going to apologize, grovel if he needed to, now he would just give Jonny space, just in case.

When he woke up, it was because he felt like he was falling. How he had managed to fall asleep, he did not know. He groaned and looked, only to find that it hadn’t been just a feeling, but that Jonny had opened the door he had been leaning against, causing him to fall backwards.

Jonny was looking down on him, a surprised look on his face, red rims around his eyes. He frowned: “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, well, you see, I, uhm,” Tim think of what Bertie would say, but he was not Bertie, he would never be that, so he just had to be himself as he confessed: “I had nowhere to go and I felt really bad about snapping at you, but then I thought that maybe I was smothering you, so I didn’t want to bother you, so I decided to apologize in the morning, because I am really fucking sorry and- are you crying, pumpkin?”

“You- you stayed.” Jonny sniffled, “I got really mad at you, but you still stayed here and tried to listen even if I’ve been really mean to you and you still tried to be nice and I don’t even know why I did that.”

Jonnys knees buckled and he collapsed next to Tim, who quickly sat up to wrap his arms around him. He rocked them slightly back and forth and whispered: “I promised to myself that I would make it up to you, honey. I’m never making the mistake of leaving you ever again.”

After a while Jonny said: “I’m sorry for getting mad at you.”

“I’m sorry for snapping at you, I know you didn’t mean it.” Tim replied, “I just worry about you and I got frustrated, but I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you. I never was the one who was good at that and I just didn’t think.”

Jonny was silent for a moment, then he whispered: “I miss him.”

“Me too.” Tim squeezed Jonny tightly, to reassure him and to remind himself that he was still there and not alone.

“I feel bad, because you’re here and that is already a miracle, but I still miss him.” Jonny was crying and Tim would be concerned about how often he’d seen Jonny cry these past few days, if his own eyes didn’t ache to join him.

All he could do was hold on and say: “It’s alright, well, it’s not, he should be here and I fucking wish nothing more than to have him here with us, but you’re allowed to grieve, dear, just let it all out.”

“Just- Why him?” Jonnys voice cracked, “Why did he have to die? I should have- should have protected him, but I was too late and it’s all so fucking unfair.”

“It is unfair.” Tim agreed, “It’s so unfair, but it’s not your fault, Jonny, it’s not. He would never blame you and neither do I.”

“I hate it, I just hate it.” Jonny pouted, cheeks and eyes wet, but his eyes full of rage, “I fucking hate it.”

“Yeah, I do too, teacup, just don’t hate it so much that it will ruin you, because he wouldn't want that for you.” Tim hated telling Jonny not to let the anger consume him after he had abandoned everything for his own rage.

“You got that perspective now?” Jonny asked, quirking a brow at him, a bit of a sharp edge to his voice.

“I know, it’s too late. Lying on a table in the dark gives you time to think, suddenly realized how pointless it all was and how badly I treated you and how much I wished I could make it better, to just be able hold you again and apologize.” Tim said.

The anger drained out of Jonny and he sighed: “You’re right, of course, you’re fucking right, I just wish anger or violence could be the answer that’s what I do. I can’t- I don’t- Not this. I’m not made for this.”

He sounded so frustrated and broken at the end and Tim just wanted to take all the anger, all the frustration and hurt from him, but he knew he couldn’t. Instead he kissed his forehead and sadly smiled: “No one is made for this, precious. I wasn’t, I’m still not.”

Jonny thought about that. Then he kissed Tim, it was soft and desperate and not really what Tim was used to, but he welcomed it nonetheless. When Jonny pulled back he asked: “What was that about?”

“You’re just so good for me and I know you feel guilty about what happened after B- you know? But you don’t have to feel guilty about it.” Jonny said, it was clear that he’d thought about it for a while, “It hurt, of course it fucking hurt, but I get it, I get it and I can’t be mad at you for it, as much as I want to blame you, I can’t.”

“Jonny-”

“No, let me talk please, because I don’t know if I can say all this again.” Jonny cut him off, “When I went- when I got here, no, before I got here, I- I was angry at my home and I burned it to the ground and it felt good to be angry and do that even if it was pointless, so I get it.”

“But can you forgive me?” Tim asked, scared of the answer, but needing to know.

“Someday, yeah, I can, just- just not now, not yet.” Jonny told him, “But we’re getting there and I still love you.”

The doubt that had been gnawing on him, disappeared with that. It was the first time Jonny told him that he loved him since he’d gotten here and he had been scared that the other didn’t anymore, that he had been too late. He breathed out in relief: “I love you too, starling.”

Jonny let out a small giggle, breaking the sad tension that had hung over them. He smiled: “You with your silly pet names.”

Tim laughed too and promised: “I got a whole lot more, Jonny-boy, don’t you worry.”

“Well, I’d like to hear them.”

“I will try my best, m’lady, but first breakfast!” Tim said, a weight off his shoulder as he pulled Jonny up. This conversation had been what they needed, a bit of clearing the air so that they could move forward and be sure where they stood even if a fight had brought it on.

They walked to breakfast hand in hand. The past few days they had been close, but the barrier of uncertainty was gone now and the contact now felt more natural. A happy bubble floated up in Tims chest as Jonny chattered on about a stupid dream he’d had.

Entering the dining room everyones gaze fell on them. Ashes stood up, butter knife in hand, and asked: “Has Jonny been crying? What did you do to him?”

Where before he would sit silent and say nothing, just send them pleading glances to keep their mouth shut, Jonny now snapped: “Don’t do this, Ashes. If he could, he would have been crying too. It was good crying, now shut the fuck up before I shoot you.”

“Are you sure?” Ashes asked. Tim noticed Nastya had stood up as well, hand at her holster.

“Yes, I’m sure. You could all be a bit nicer to Tim, it’s not like he doesn’t belong here. He is family too now, it would do you good to get to know him at least.”

Ashes looked a bit unsure at that, but they did sit down again and so did Nastya. With that done, Jonny seemed a bit more awkward, thorn between Tim and his other family. Tim just dragged him to his chair and said: “Come on, eat something. You get cranky when you’re hungry.”

“I do not.” Jonny replied indignantly.

Tim rolled his eyes playfully and smirked: “So that time you forgot to eat and then complained about the soil for two hours and threatened to shoot me over telling you to calm down, was just you being happily full, eh, bubbles?”

Jonny blushed a bright scarlet and mumbled something that was drowned out by Ashes chocking loudly. They now registered the pet names that they had missed in the surprise back when Tim had first arrived and exclaimed: “Bubbles?”

The flush got darker and Jonny gritted out: “Shut up.”

Some of the others laughed as well and Tim felt kind of bad for the embarrassment he was causing Jonny, but it really wasn’t his fault. He’d tried to keep the pet names on the down low with everyone hating him, but, with the more relaxed atmosphere between him and Jonny, it had just slipped out.

Tim had been about to save Jonny when The Toy Soldier asked: “What Is So Weird About Tim Calling Jonny Bubbles? He Always Uses Strange Names That Aren’t Jonny To Refer To Him.”

Multiple people at the table began to grin as Jonny tried to disappear into thin air with no success. Interested Nastya asked: “Really, TS? What sort of names then?”

“Well, I Remember Dearie, Gorgeous, Sweetie, Jellybean-” The Toy Soldier was cut off by Jonny, who shot it before glaring at everyone and saying: “Not a goddamn word.”

“Ahw, are you embarrassed about me, missy?” Tim teased, knowing the last time he’d used that particular moniker Jonny had spluttered for a full minute or two.

The effect was the same. The already prominent blush spread further and further as Jonny waved his gun haphazardly around and gaped like a fish. There was more laughter and in the end he just dramatically draped himself over Tim as he exclaimed: “Why do you hate me?”

Carding a hand through his hair Tim said: “I could never. Here, I’ll even make you coffee.”

“‘M gonna need something stronger than coffee,” Jonny pouted, still hiding his face, “but you’re making a strong argument.”

Tim decided he liked the new vibe in the room with the others, as it allowed Jonny to be softer and him to be more himself as well. He gently reminded Jonny: “I thought we had all agreed first coffee then something else, cuddle bug. Remember?”

With his face still hidden Jonny couldn't see the others biting their lips at the pet name. All wanted to see if Jonny would actually do it. They of course didn’t know how Bertie had made the most convincing puppy dog eyes as he played up the concerned boyfriend act when they made the agreement.

“Alright, but I’m drinking something stronger right after.” apparently Jonny was going to honor the agreement, even if the other party wasn’t there anymore.

With a smile Tim got up and went to make coffee after he had gently pushed Jonny off of himself. While he was away, Brian leaned over and softly said: “He seems nice. You look happier, Jonny. That’s good. I’m glad for you.”

Nastya and Ashes nodded. Jonny couldn't help but smile at that, he’d been so worried when everyone had seemed mad at Tim. He didn’t like to see his family members fighting and a part of him had feared that the animosity would never fade.

The moment was ruined by Ashes who asked: “How many times will you kill me if I ever refer to you as bubbles or cuddle bug or missy? And how mad will you get when I tell him you used to be a cowboy?”

They were answered by a shot through their head, however it was too late, because Tim had entered just in time to witness the murder. He raised his brow and asked: “I’ve gathered the immortality thing, but is this a regular occurrence?”

“Sadly, yes, there is 67% chance that someone will not survive the day when everyone is in a good mood, this rises to 91.5% when someone isn’t.” Ivy told him.

“Great.” Tim said, handing Jonny his coffee, which he took gratefully, before making himself a bowl of cereal as well as one for Tim.

Ashes and TS didn’t wake up during breakfast and Tim had a pleasant chat with Brian about string instruments, apparently the other played banjo. Meanwhile Jonny and Nastya seemed to be having an in depth conversation about whether Ashes would be mad if Jonny stole their tongue.

When the last spoonful was in gone, Tim got up and stated: “I want to see this observation deck that I’ve heard about. Come on, cowboy, lead the way.”

“Oh no, you heard that?” Jonny groaned, but he got up anyway to show Tim.

“I almost get the feeling that you’re ashamed of my pet names.” Tim told him, then more dramatically he went on, “The light of my life, my own little gremlin and cutie pie, ashamed of little humble me.”

“Oh come on, you dork. That’s enough teasing material to last them a few centuries, the vultures.” despite his words Jonny had a smile on his lips and Tim hadn’t seen him happier in a very long while.

He ceased his pet names onslaught and just let Jonny drag him away from the others to the observation deck where they both sat down to watch the stars.

Tim had wrapped his arm around Jonny, who leaned into him gratefully. It was oddly domestic after most of their experiences together being in the middle of a war, but Tim found that he quite liked this opportunity for a new them.

There was still a lot to do, a lot to work through and talk about. Tim had to adjust to an immortal life and fully win over the others, even if he was already on the way. He’d have to get used to living again, for the first time actually function without Bertie there. There was also Jonny, whose forgiveness and trust he still had to earn, despite the love he already had. It all seemed very daunting, but with Jonny under his arm, safely tucked into his side, it didn’t seem so bad anymore.

“I love you, nugget.” he told Jonny softly, planting a kiss on the top of his head.

“I love you too, Tim.” Jonny replied, shifting to make himself even more comfortable next to Tim.

Yeah, this wasn’t so bad. Tim could get used to this.

#RR writing #tw: grief #tw: emotional issues #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim #Bertie x gunpowder Tim x Jonny d'ville #bertie (the mechs)#doc carmilla #carmilla #Ashes O'Reilly #Nastya Rasputina #jonny d'ville & nastya rasputina #the toy soldier #drumbot brian #toy soldier

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schrijverr · 4 years

Text

Love makes blind

Chapter 2 out of 4

Jonny gets headaches, when the others find out it leads to the revelation that he actually needs glasses. Through the whole process, he and Tim grow closer as xe is there for Jonny.

Getting together, slow burn.

On AO3.

Ships: Jonny d’Ville x Gunpowder Tim

Warnings: Jonnys low self esteem. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!

A/N: Tim uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns, I myself don’t so if I mess up, I apologize and please point it out to me :)

~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t forever, but the next conscious thought Tim had was waking up and the distinct feeling time had passed. Xe did not want to wake up though, xe was warm and comfortable, so xe burrowed xyr face into the warmth and groaned.

Above xem someone laughed and there were vibrations in the chest Tim was using as pillow. Wait, chest? Xe shot up and found xyrself hanging over Jonny, hands on both sides of his body.

He looked livelier than yesterday, however that wasn’t been very difficult with how he’d been. His eyes were still a bit red, but overall he looked good. Tim swallowed, before xe asked: “How do you feel?”

“Good, better.” Jonny answered.

Tim lit up with his voice, glad that Jonny wasn’t too overwhelmed to speak anymore, and said: “I’m glad.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jonny groused, “I was fine. No need to make a big deal out of it.”

That sobered Tim up a bit and xe frowned: “Jonny,” xe waited until he looked at xem, “you scared me yesterday, don’t say you were fine. It’s okay that you weren’t, but you don’t have to keep on a strong facade.”

It seemed Jonnys resolve was crumbling, but he still weakly tried: “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, no need to worry.”

“You know, that is not as comforting as you think.” Tim told him raising a brow at him, “It’s actually quite the opposite, you dealing with that on your own, why?”

Tears gathered in Jonnys eyes and he tried to blink them away, he shrugged weakly, he didn’t really have the energy to deal with this. His headache was gone, but he didn’t feel very rested and Tim looked so beautiful and concerned as xe leaned over him.

“You don’t know why or you don’t want to tell me?” god, Tim had always been too good at reading him.

“It’s stupid.” he mumbled.

“Why is that?” Tim asked and Jonny wondered if xe knew how pretty xe looked with xyr hair falling like a curtain xyr face, making a little bubble around them.

His heart ached with how much he wanted to pull xyr close and a sudden realization came over him as he remembered why he wanted to shoot again in the first place: impressing Tim.

Sure, when he found out it wasn’t working like he thought, he’d spiraled into obsession born out of fear of being incapable and not enough, but he felt like that most of the time, but the impressing Tim part had been new.

He blinked and a tear slowly slid over his face as he whispered: “I didn’t want you all to find out.”

His lip wobbled with the confession and Tim could only watch as his face crumbled again, still unable to do something about it and feeling like xe caused it.

Xe gathered Jonny back into xyr arms and leaned back on xyr knees, taking Jonny with xem as xe rocked him back and forth. Tim shushed and soothed him: “Hey, it’s alright, it’s all good. Just let it out.”

After a few seconds Jonny gasped: “No, no, it’s not.”

The hand that was rubbing his back stilled and Tim leaned back to look at him, a frown on xyr face: “Why is it not okay, Jonny?”

Xyr face was so open and honest that Jonny couldn't help but say: “It’s just not okay that I can’t seem to shoot right, so I can’t protect anyone and it all hurts and I can’t even do anything right without messing up and it’s all stupid.”

He was blubbering at the end, new tears flowing over tracks that hadn’t had the chance to dry. Tim held him close to xyr chest again, as xe tried to process everything Jonny had blurted out.

It was obvious that he was blaming himself, but it hadn’t seemed connected to the headaches, which what xe had asked about. Xe did have something to ask about now, however: “Can you tell me how your aim is connected to the headaches?”

Jonny took a few shuddering breaths against the crook of xyr neck, where he had hidden his face away, then he just gave himself over to telling Tim everything as he said: “The headaches got worse when I tried to shoot well again. I should be able to shoot well, but it’s gone now and whenever I try the concentrating hurts, but I need to shoot well.”

Tim frowned, that should not happen, at least xe thought it shouldn’t, but xe was not the best expert on normal human eyes, so xe focused on the last part: “You don’t have to shoot well, love.”

The pet name had just slipped out accidentally, but Jonny didn’t seem to mind, just burrowing his face further into xyr neck as he said: “Yes, I have. What if you’re all in danger and I need to shoot someone, but I miss and you all get hurt?”

“We’ll heal, we’re tougher than we look.” a hint of a smile crept into xyr voice.

“But what if it’s not enough, I can’t- I can’t loose you.” Jonnys voice cracked and Tim could feel xyr heart break a little for the First Mate.

Jonny sobbed against xyr again and xe resumed rubbing his back and rocking him back and forth as xe soothed him: “It will be enough, don’t worry. You’re not going to loose us, I promise, alright, I pinky-promise. I’m sure that with Brians knowledge, Ivys library and Raphs science we can make the headaches go away and get you to shoot again.”

“You really think so?” his voice was fragile, but hopeful.

“I know so.” Tim promised, hoping xe wouldn't have to break it.

Jonny sniffled a bit more, but the crying had stopped and he didn’t fight it when Tim pried him out of the crook of xyr neck and cradled his cheeks between xyr hands as xe wiped the tears away, smearing Jonnys run down make up in the process.

When xe was done they stared each other in the eyes, before both blushed as they realized that Jonny was practically straddling Tim and hanging off xem like a koala. Jonny let go if burned, but hadn’t realized that he was in an unstable position, only held upright by the arms around Tims neck, and toppled over backwards.

Blinking a few times he looked up at Tim, who was now kneeling between his spread legs. Both scrambled backwards until they were sitting on opposite sides of the bed.

Tim cleared xyr throat: “Well, uhm, sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Lets- lets just look for some people who can help, alright?”

Xe got up, not daring to look Jonny in the eyes as xe waited for Jonny to follow and tell xem to forget all this ever happened.

Instead Jonny whispered: “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

Looking back xe saw Jonny, brow furrowed as he looked intensely to the bed, his cheeks were gray with ruined make up and he looked scared but also determined. He looked back up and stated: “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. Thank you for being here.”

Wordlessly Tim stared at him while the words hung heavy in the air around them. Slowly xe said: “What?”

Jonny took a deep breath: “I said thank you for being here, it was nice that you cared enough to help me with my headache and then my breakdown, I didn’t mean to put all of that on you, but thank you for staying anyway. Now, please listen, because I don’t think I am physically capable of saying all of this again.”

It was quiet again as Tim went through the words again, then xe smiled: “No problem, Jonny. You didn’t dump anything on me.” a beat of silence, “And of course I care.”

“What?” Jonny looked startled.

“Of course I care enough to help you, why would you think I didn’t?” Tim asked.

Helplessly Jonny shrugged, before he explained like it was obvious: “I’m annoying and the reason you’re here and you hate me?”

Tim opened and closed xyr mouth in shock a few times, then loudly exclaimed: “I don’t hate you, what the fuck!”

“You don’t?” Jonny asked, just as shocked and confused as xe felt.

“No.” Tim said, “You’re my best friend.”

“I am?”

“Yes, of course you are.” Tim told him, “Didn’t- didn’t you know that?”

“Uh, no,” Jonny scratched the back of his head then quickly added, “but that’s not your fault. Nastya always says I’m socially oblivious and a doom-thinker with no concept of self-esteem. Her words.”

“Oh, Jonny.” xe sighed.

“Sorry?”

“Not sorry, you idiot.” Tim told him, walking back to the bed to give him a big hug, “I should’ve been clearer.”

Jonny swallowed and hugged xem back. He softly asked: “Why are you always trying to be better than me? Just confused if we’re friends.”

“Uh,” xe knew that xe had been showing off, trying to get Jonnys attention all on xem at every chance, because it was intoxicating to have, “Just the dynamic between us, I guess.”

“Hmm.” Jonny hummed, “Can we find a new dynamic? One where we don’t fight so much?”

“Course.” Tim said as xe let go, xe gave Jonny a look and commented: “You’re softer than normal, it suits you.”

Xe wanted to hit xyrself for that, but it was too late, the words were already out xyr mouth.

Jonny in turn just looked startled for a moment, then blushed heavily. Tim remember xe’d thought xe’d seen Jonny blush last night, now that didn’t seem so strange anymore. Jonny shrugged: “Doesn’t seem worth the effort to look tough when I just cried into your neck.”

Tim chuckled at that and after a moment Jonny chuckled too and soon they were giggling on the bed together at the weirdness of it all.

When the giggling had died out, Tim turned to Jonny and said: “You don’t have to pretend with me, okay?”

“You don’t either.” Jonny told xem.

For a moment they stared at each other. Time seemed to stretch out, until Jonny couldn't take it anymore and blinked as he cleared his throat, before he got up and said: “Well, we got people to find.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Tim said, quickly following him as xe tried to burn the memories of Jonny in xyr arms, Jonny looking at xem like that and Jonny giggling, into xyr mind to treasure forever.

Jonny cleaned up his face before they went back to the common area, maybe walking a bit closer than before the whole thing.

When they entered Ashes and Brian shot up and Nastya turned around to look at them. Jonny ducked his head in shame and hid slightly behind Tim.

“How are you feeling, Jonny?” Brian asked kindly.

“Uh, better, no headache anymore, still a bit tired.” Jonny answered.

“Good, I’m glad. You scared us.” Brain told him.

Jonny bit his lip, then softly apologized. Ashes wasn’t having any of it, they just said: “No need for that. Just tell us what the hell happened. You were just being yourself, albeit a bit more prickly and then suddenly you were down.”

Tim could see Jonny wasn’t about to answer that, so xe jumped in: “Jonny got a headache. He has them a lot, but was hiding them from us like a idiot, but him falling was nothing more than him getting overwhelmed.”

“Snitch.” Jonny glared at xem.

Dramatically putting an arm around him, xe replied with an obnoxiously posh accent: “Here to help, darling.”

Jonny shoved xem off, but he was smiling again. Nastya raised a brow at him and commented: “You two are friendly.”

They both got a bit red, then Jonny said: “So maybe you were right and xe didn’t hate me, but that doesn’t mean you get to be smug about it.”

“Yeah, we’re friends.” Tim added.

It seemed like xe’d cut Nastya off, who had been about to make a comment, but instead frowned and asked: “Friends?”

“Yes, Nastya, do keep up.” Jonny told her.

Getting back on topic Tim said: “Anyway, Jonny thinks the headaches have something to do with concentrating on stuff or something, so I thought maybe one of the crew would know something about that.”

Xe gave Brian a look, who pointed at himself surprised as Tim nodded, then he said: “Uh, could be something with your eyes, but Raphaella would know more about that.”

“Then we’ll go to her.” Tim said brightly, already pulling Jonny along.

Tim didn’t check to see who followed, but everyone was there when they arrived at Raphaellas lab, slamming the door open, startling her enough to make her drop a substance that ate through her desk.

She ignored it in order to wave at them with a smile as she asked: “What are you all doing here? Not that it isn’t a welcome surprise.”

Jonny got pushed forward by Tim as xe explained: “Jonny gets headaches from concentrating on stuff. Do you know how we can fix it?”

“I could’ve said that myself.” Jonny grumbled, getting ignored.

Raphaella walked up to Jonny and pulled him towards an examination table where she inspected his face carefully. She asked: “When do they happen the most?”

“Uhm, they started getting worse when I tried to focus on something far away a lot.” Jonny told her.

She brightened up and ran off to pull up a chart with rows of rings from big to small with openings at different places. She pointed at a top one and asked: “Where’s the opening?”

“Left.” Jonny answered, “Why are we doing this?”

“Just humor me.” she replied.

Jonny didn’t seem to have figured out what he was looking at, never having seen a proper doctors office in his life, but it dawned on the others what was happening here. An eye test. With big eyes they followed the proceedings.

They were on the fourth row when Jonny angrily exclaimed: “How is anyone supposed to see that shit. I don’t fucking know, okay. Happy? Can someone please explain why the hell I’m even doing this.”

“It’s an eye test, idiot.” Ashes told him from where they were standing next to him, “And I can see all the rows perfectly.”

“What! No?” Jonny said, leaning forwards and looking at the chart again, “No.”

“That could be the reason the headaches.” Raphaella explained, “Your brain needs to make too much of an effort to see everything and the strain outs itself in headaches. The more you try to see, the more you strain, the more headaches you have.”

“But I’ve never had any problems with my sight.” Jonny sounded a bit scared.

“Head trauma can also cause loss in eyesight.” Raphaella told him gently in an attempt to calm him.

“What about my mechanism? Shouldn’t it heal that?” the calming had not helped him.

Raphaella thought for a second, then lit up as she got the answer and proudly stated: “It’s probably that it was a design flaw. You lost your sight a bit, but Nastya already had glasses and with Brian it wasn’t an issue, same goes for Ivy, you know hard to have brain damage there, and by the time Ashes got mechanized Carmilla had gotten the flaw ironed out and it wasn’t an issue anymore.”

Jonny gaped for a second, then seethed: “That bitch! I told her my aim was shittier and she said it was nothing, that I’d just gotten lazy.”

“Hey, hey, Jonny, calm down.” Tim put a hand on his shoulder, “We know, she sucks, nothing to do there, but at least we can fix it.”

“I’m not wearing glasses.” Jonny huffed.

“Why not? Do you think they’re stupid?” Nastya said in a dangerous tone.

Jonny swallowed: “No, of course not. Just completely inconvenient.” and an obvious weakness he added mentally.

“Do it for us.” Tim blurted out.

“What?” Jonny asked and xe got looks from the others as well.

“If you wear the glasses, you won’t have headaches anymore. I don’t want you to have the headaches. If they’re as bad as the one from yesterday, I don’t want you to have them anymore. So even if you hate them, wear them for us.” xe explained.

It was quiet as Jonny thought it over.

On one hand he really wanted to make Tim and the others happy and wearing the glasses would make them happy, he also would be able to shoot properly again, but on the other hand he already was a stupid little asshole and the glasses would just highlight another place where he wasn’t good enough.

Apparently he’d been quiet for too long, because Tim softly asked: “Jonny?”

“Nothing.” he answered, gesturing vaguely, “It’s just- it’s just- you know?”

“I know it must suck.” Tim smiled gently, “But it’ll help. You’ll have to get used to it, but you will be optimally functional again.”

He supposed the pros outweighed the cons, especially if he would make Tim happy and be able to see xem better again. He sighed and agreed: “Fine, get me the stupid glasses.”

Raphaella dragged him off to do more tests to get the perfect glasses, while the others slowly left the room until it was just him, Raphaella and Tim. He was glad Tim hadn’t left him.

“Alright, I can have them in a few hours, though if you want different frames than these ones you will have to wait until we’re planetside again.” she held up a pair of golden wire frames, with slightly big round lenses.

“Try them on for a sec, I’ll tell you how stupid you look on a scale of one to ten.” Tim encouraged him teasingly, “Promise not to lie.”

He rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but humor xem, so he put on the glasses and looked at Tim and did a flourish: “So, how do I look?”

Jonny looked absolutely adorable. The glasses highlighted the soft features in his face and made his eyes seem bigger. Tim felt xyrself flush, xe would have to make a serious effort to talk to Jonny if that was what he was going to look like from now.

“That stupid, eh.” Jon laughed self deprecatingly, taking Tims silence for disapproval.

“No!” Tim stopped him from taking the glasses off, a bit calmer xe said: “No, you look- you look great, it suits you.”

Xe got a skeptical look, but Jonny shrugged and told Raphaella: “These have been Tim approved, apparently, so I guess they’re fine.”

“I think they look nice too, Jonny.” she told him, taking the frames back, “I’ll come find you when they’re done, okay?”

“Alright, thank you, Raph.” Jonny sighed, as he followed Tim back out of the lab.

When they were in the hallway, Tim asked: “Are you really okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” he didn’t seem convinced of his own answer and realized xe wasn’t either, so he shrugged: “Just another part where I went wrong.”

“Hey, you don’t get to be mean to Jonny, he’s my friend.” Tim told him. Xe was glad that Jonny laughed at the comment, then xe went on: “Seriously, though, needing glasses isn’t a weakness. It happens, Nastya has glasses, she’s not weak, right?”

“Yeah, I suppose, but she also has a lot of good points.” Jonny sounded so resigned and sad.

Tim stopped and grabbed Jonny. Xe looked him in the eyes and said: “You have a lot of good qualities. I never said this, because I thought there was no need to feed your massive ego, but it seems your ego is starving.”

“What are you going on about?”

“You’re a great person. You have many good points. You make sure everyone is alright in your own way and make sure everyone is happy. You’re the one keeping us together, everybody loves you, okay. Don’t get it into your pretty little head that you’re not, okay, cause you are.” Tim ranted at him.

It was quiet as Jonny blinked a few moments, then he nodded and said: “I’ll try?”

Not what Tim was hoping for, but good enough. Xe nodded back: “Good, I’ll make sure you won’t forget.”

They looked at each other for a second, then awkwardly coughed, before silently walking to the common area, to wait till Raphaella was done.

It wasn’t until dinner that they saw her again. In her hand she had the glasses and she proudly presented them to Jonny, who shrunk under everyone's eyes as he took them form her.

“Since when does Jonny have glasses?” Marius asked.

“Since today.” Nastya told him, “The idiot hadn’t realized he needed them.”

“Not an idiot.” Jonny grumbled, putting the glasses on the table.

“Oh come on, you’re not gonna try them on? I want to see if I got them right, come on, come on, please.” Raphaella said.

Jonny groaned, but still put on the glasses. He turned to everyone and said: “You get two minutes to laugh at me, then I’m murdering anyone who does.”

“What? Why would we laugh?” Brian asked, “They suit you.”

“Are you sure you’re not able to lie?” Jonny sounded suspicious.

Brian showed him the switch and smiled: “The glasses look good on y-”

“Holy fuck!” Jonny shouted cutting him off, “I can see your switch from here!”

He looked around the room with wide eyes of wonder, taking the time to look at everyone, sometimes shaking his head and looking again.

It was utterly endearing.

Then he looked up and gasped: “Did y’all know Aurora has panels on her ceilings as well?”

“Yes, yes, we did, Jonny.” Ashes smiled at him.

“Ahw, you’re so cute.” Marius told him.

Jonny flushed bright red and Tim suddenly wondered how xe though Jonny never blushed, when he blushed so easily and beautifully. Xe resolved to complement him more, just to see it.

Xe was pulled out of xyr musings with Marius falling over after Jonny had shoved him with a: “Don’t mock me, von Raum.”

“I’m not.” he exclaimed from the floor, “You look adorable when you look around like that. Like you’re discovering the world for the first time again.”

“Shut up and eat.” Jonny groused, not looking at any of them and stabbing his food harshly.

The others were smart enough to drop it and soon conversations had drifted elsewhere. Although Tim couldn't help but notice Jonny looking at stuff and grinning like a maniac to himself from time to time.

After that things went back to normal, only Jonny had glasses this time and xe and Jonny actually spend time together.

It was way more fun when they weren’t constantly trying to upstage one another and having Jonnys attention as xe told him about something stupid or made him laugh was even more intoxicating than xe would have thought.

They still played cards with Ashes, but they also talked together, hung out, softly played familiar tunes or existed in the same space in silence, just enjoying each others company.

A few weeks had passed like this and the whole crew was drinking together like normal while Marius was pissing Jonny off, also like normal. He was talking about some analyses or another when Jonny rolled his eyes as he drew his pistol and shot at him.

This was something normal as well, although instead of hitting the door frame next to Marius he shot the other straight through his brain, cutting him off mid-sentence as he fell to the floor.

It was quiet as everyone looked from Marius’s corpse to Jonny, who looked just as surprised as them. Tim broke the silence: “I guess the glasses are working then.”

Jonny grinned: “Hell yeah, I got my aim back.”

“Oh damn.” Ashes raised both their brows, “I always thought you were exaggerating when talking about your aim, since you were shit.”

“Wonderful what being able to see can do for someone.” Ivy deadpanned, not even bothering to look up from her book.

Tim laughed while Marius got up and frowned: “That was rude.”

“Then stop being annoying.” Jonny stuck out his tongue.

After that it went back to the usual shenanigans they got up to when drinking together, although Jonny did seem a bit more smug.

#RR writing #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim #Nastya Rasputina #raphaella la cognizi #Ashes O'Reilly #marius von raum #drumbot brian #Ivy Alexandria #Love makes blind #Love makes blind chapter 2

19 notes · View notes

schrijverr · 4 years

Text

Love makes blind

Chapter 1 out of 4

Jonny gets headaches, when the others find out it leads to the revelation that he actually needs glasses. Through the whole process, he and Tim grow closer as xe is there for Jonny.

Getting together, slow burn.

On AO3.

Ships: Jonny d’Ville x Gunpowder Tim

Warnings: Jonny is kinds hard on himself and goes mute for a part of this chapter. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!

A/N: Tim uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns, I myself don’t so if I mess up, I apologize and please point it out to me :)

~~~~~~~~

Jonny used to be a pretty good shot, there was a reason Jack hired him for his hits. Jonny was the best shot in town. He’d been practically born with a pistol in hand as his father had taught him to shoot when he was a child.

The First Mate had always prided himself on that fact.

However, his aim had decreased after he’d joined Carmilla on her spaceship. When he’d first started missing he’d brought it up to her, but she’d waved him away as she chided: “You’re getting lazy, Jonny. You can’t die, so it doesn’t matter as much whether you hit or not.”

He’d taken some offense to that, not enough to risk opening his mouth, but still. He wasn’t being lazy, he tried to hit his targets, but sometimes the shots just wouldn't hit where he had intended them to hit.

After a while though, he did stop caring. If he died a few times more that was no ones fault but his own and in the grand scheme of things what did it matter anyway?

Then he met Tim and he did curse his lack of practice in aiming well, the gun-obsessed asshole loved laughing at Jonny whenever he missed and would shoot difficult targets just to piss him off.

So, Jonny returned to practicing once more.

Jonny would show Tim that xe wasn’t the only one who could hit a target. He didn’t know why he felt the need to impress xem, but he did and now he had a mission.

He would lock himself in a cargo bay and try to hit the targets from different distances. It was easier the closer he got, but he still was so bad at it and he didn’t understand why.

Maybe Carmilla had been right and he had gotten lazy and maybe he hadn’t cared about hitting or missing and maybe he had turned it into a joke to bring levity to his crew. But he had been shooting for millennia, he knew his pistol so intimately that surely he would get good again with a bit of practice.

He should have gotten better, instead he only got more headaches.

The headaches had started a few decades after his mechanization. They weren’t really a problem, just annoying and easily solved with some water or rest, but they started increasing in number and severity when he’d started practicing and wouldn't blow over from just some water or a couple of minutes of rest anymore.

When it first happened, he got annoyed, then when it happened more often he’d shot himself in irritation. However, instead of waking up feeling better, the headache had just gotten worse.

After that he started trying everything to make them be over.

He took to drinking about half a gallon of water each day, getting weird looks from some of the others. Ashes had even asked if it was alcohol in the big flask, sounding a bit concerned.

Jonny had informed them that it was just water and that he was trying to drink the recommended amount now. That had just made them even more concerned and a bit suspicious, although Jonny did not know why.

Not that it helped either, the headaches just kept coming, which lead to him giving up on drinking water and massaging his head, frustrated and at the end of his tether.

It didn’t stop after that and soon he found himself lying on the couch, moping while he hoped none of the crew would walk in on him and think of him as weak, while at the same time he desperately wanted someone to ask if he was alright.

Still he kept practicing.

He had become obsessed with regaining his ability to shoot well, a fear creeping into his veins that he would never be able to again and if push came to shove and his crew was in danger, he wouldn't be able to protect them.

The loud bang of his pistol would make him wince and the headaches only got worse, but it didn’t stop him.

Although he had stopped lying on a couch in a common area, having found that the light and background noises became too much.

Instead he would retreat to his room where he would tell Aurora to keep everyone away from him and turn the lights off, before he would crawl into his bed and lie there in a heap of misery under a shit ton of blankets as he tried to sleep the headache off.

Jonny was convinced that he was being stealthy about it. That none of the crew had noticed him disappear more regularly while Aurora tried to keep them away from his room. That they hadn’t seen him clutch his head more often before that or hadn’t witnessed his water drinking.

So when a part of the crew was hanging around and the headache hit again when he tried to focus on what Ashes was pointing at across the room, he pretended to understand what they were going on about, before he stretched and nonchalantly said: “I think I’m turning in early tonight.”

He got some raised eyebrows and concerned looks at that, so he dropped the faked nonchalance and snapped: “What?”

Brian shared a look with Ashes and Nastya while Tim just stared at Jonny, then Brian said: “We’re a bit worried about you, that’s all. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Something inside him tugged at him, telling him to open up about the headaches, to get their concern and care, but a bigger part of him got angry in defense afraid of being seen as weak or vulnerable.

“I am fine, Drumbot.” he growled, ignoring the guilt at his little flinch, “I am just tired and I don’t need your pity. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Don’t be a prick about it, Jonny.” Ashes crossed their arms, “He was just being nice, it’s what he does. Just because you’re a snappy up tight asshole, doesn’t mean you get to be mean to Brian.”

Some of the others also looked at him as if he’d done something very offensive and irredeemable and he was starting to feel backed into a corner.

It wasn’t his fault the headaches and stress were wearing him down. He tried so hard not to be a nuance about it, so that they wouldn't pity him or break him by caring. But when they asked him about it, it was so much harder to keep a strong face.

It wasn’t his fault he snapped, it wasn’t.

“Yeah, whatever, okay, won’t do that anymore.” he huffed with an eyeroll, not at all the agreement he was going for so that he could retreat.

“What is your problem, man.” Ashes frowned, “You know you were wrong there.”

“So what, Ashes, not like it has stopped me from being as asshole before now.” the irritation behind his eyes was growing stronger and he just wanted to leave.

“It’s alright, Ashes. Just let him be.” Brian tried to diffuse the situation.

“Thank you, Brian.” Jonny gave Ashes a look.

“No.” Ashes glared back at Jonny, “Don’t stick up for him, just don’t.”

“Yeah.” Tim inserted xyrself into the conversation as well, from where xe had been witnessing the chaos, “It’s like an unspoken rule to be nice to Brian.”

Jonny was sure that if Brian could blush, he would right now. Not that he cared about that at the moment. Everyone was turning against him and he did feel bad for not being nice to Brian, but he was tired and not able to deal with all this right now.

He threw his hands up and exclaimed: “Fine, I won’t. Not like I was planning on it, geez, let a man be.”

Then he turned around and started to stomp off, not caring that every harsh step made his headache worse.

His path was blocked by Nastya, who had crossed her arms and stared at him over the top of her glasses.

“What do you want now?” he asked, sounding more tired than irritated.

“You still haven’t answered Brians question, I think that would be a good way to make it up to him, don’t you.” she told him.

Jonny frowned: “Yes, I did. I told him I was fine, just tired and if you’d let me go I actually could do something about it.”

She spun him around, the sudden movement making his head pulse as he tried to reorient himself, and said: “No, you deflected and snapped. Give him a better answer.”

He couldn't see Brians face properly from here and concentrating hurt, but the fact that he couldn't pick up facial cues to figure out what was wanted of him scared him enough to try.

Squinting, he could make out Brians open and kind face as he waited for Jonny to give in to Nastyas request. Jonnys brain whirred as he tried to come up with a good answer that would please everyone enough to let him go.

“I just haven’t slept, didn’t see the use since we don’t need to sleep that often and it suddenly hit me, so I wanted to go. I am fine just tired, just let me go to bed.” he almost accidentally added a please behind that statement, but managed to catch himself in time.

“That’s a fucking lie.” Tims voice broke the silence, “You literally told me this morning you had a crick in the neck from sleeping wrong.”

Mentally Jonny cursed himself, he’d never had the best grip on time and it seemed longer ago than it apparently had been.

Beside him he could feel Nastyas anger grow: “Why are you lying to us, Jonny?”

“Who says it’s me that’s lying, Tim loves throwing me under the bus.” the indignant words were out Jonnys mouth before he could stop them and he mentally groaned at what would probably happen next.

He wasn’t disappointed as Tim immediately yelled at him for being unfair and other stuff Jonny wasn’t willing to focus on, since the headache was now really beginning to pound at an unbearable level.

Usually he would already in his room at this point and he cursed himself for being snappy. If he’d just been nice, he would be in his bed right now.

God, what he wouldn't give to be in his bed right now.

Jonny wasn’t focusing on anything anymore, he vaguely registered other voices starting to talk and get louder, but it was just a blur of sounds. His head pulsed and pounded and lights swirled in front of his eyes as the room started to sway.

It was all too much and he couldn't take it anymore. His hands clutched at his head again, pressing into his ears and eyes in an attempt to get it all to stop, as he crumbled to the floor, hot tears sliding over his face as he curled into himself.

The noise had stopped now, or at least it wasn’t loud enough to get through to his ears anymore.

Vaguely he could feel himself rock back and forth, but it didn’t register as something important, neither did the broken sobs that left his lips.

He would normally hate himself right now, and he was sure that later he would rage at himself for being so weak, but he was so so tired and he just couldn't take it anymore. He felt terrible and small and he wanted this to be over.

A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched away from it, toppling over in the process and letting out a small cry of pain when he hit the floor.

It was still for a moment, then he felt a hand pry at his own and he desperately tired to keep himself shielded from the outside world, but in his state he couldn't fight for long. He waited for the loud noises, but none came, instead there was a soft voice.

“Hey, it’s okay, Jonny. It’s okay, just tell us what happened” Jonny knew that voice, Tim, xe had a soft undertone that wasn’t grating on his nerves, which he was immensely grateful for.

“Are you able to talk, Jonny?” xe asked.

Jonny thought about that. Was he able to talk? He opened his mouth, but sounds seemed hard right now, but Tim wanted him to talk, he should try at least, for xyrs sake. He opened his mouth again, but still nothing happened. New tears formed in his eyes as he berated himself.

“That’s okay, it’s totally fine.” Tim told him, “Can you shake your head? Shake yes for yes and tap twice for no.”

Just the thought of shaking his head hurt, so he tapped twice and hoped Tim wouldn't be to mad at him.

A hand carded through his hair and he leaned into the touch. Tim spoke again: “I’m going to ask you some yes or no questions and I want you to answer them for me by tapping once for yes and twice for no, can you do that? Because I can also go if you want me to.”

A cold fear gripped Jonny at the thought of xyr leaving him, so he tapped once and hoped Tim understood.

“Good, good.” Tim murmured, then slightly more audible: “Does your head hurt?”

One tap.

“Is that the only body part that hurts?”

One tap.

“Does the light hurt?”

One tap.

Tim wasn’t speaking to Jonny when xe ordered someone to move. Soon the light was blocked by, what Jonny assumed were, the other three that had been there. He hoped they wouldn't be mad at him for being so pitiful, he hadn’t wanted to waste their time, really.

“Does this happen often?” xe asked, turning back to Jonny.

He hesitated, then tapped once.

“Oh, poor thing.” Tim sighed, “Did you feel it coming?”

One tap.

“Is that why you wanted to leave?”

One tap, along with a tearful sniffle.

“Why didn’t- Were you planning on telling us?”

Two taps.

“Is there a reason you didn’t want us to know.”

One tap.

“Would you be willing to tell us later?”

After a moment of hesitation Jonny tapped twice. It was already bad enough that he was in this situation and it wouldn't do to make it worse, make them hate him more.

“Is that why you’re crying?”

Two taps, not technically a lie, since it was only part of why he was crying.

Tim saw right through him and asked: “Is it part of why you’re crying?”

Jonny bit his lip, then tapped once. He was too exhausted to lie.

“Good, well done, I’m so proud of you.” xe whispered and he couldn't help but light up at the praise.

“Would you be willing to let us help you right now?” xe pressed on, hoping for one tap.

One tap.

Xe sighed with relief, then asked: “Do you know how we can help you?”

One tap.

It was good that there would be a plan, but Jonny couldn't talk right now, so they had no way of obtaining it. Xe looked at the others, who had been following this with concern. No one had seen this small breakdown coming.

Brian and Ashes were as clueless as xe was, but Nastya softly said: “Maybe Aurora knows, she’s been the one keeping us away from his room, I’m sure she’d keep an eye on him.”

Tim nodded and asked Jonny: “Can we ask Aurora how to help you?”

One tap and a bit of tension released from Jonnys shoulders that they hadn’t noticed was there before.

Xe nodded at Nastya, who looked at the ceiling where a small screen appeared: Jonny usually sleeps in his room in the dark and silence when this happens with a lot of blankets to keep him grounded

Tim softy read it to Jonny then asked: “Is that correct?”

One tap.

“Good, I’m going to pick you up and bring you to your room. Is that okay?” xe asked.

One tap.

Tim put one of xyr arms under Jonnys knees, the other under his shoulder and braced xyrself before standing up.

The movement made Jonny whimper slightly and he burrowed his face into Tims shoulder to hide himself from the world.

“Will you be okay?” Ashes asked and Tim could see they felt guilty about pushing Jonny.

Xe smiled and said: “It’s alright, don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure you’re the first to know if he needs anything, but I don’t think more people is going to help him right now.”

Ashes nodded and stepped out of xyr way. Xe nodded at them before leaving, knowing that Brian and, well he wasn’t sure about Nastya, but Brian would try to calm them down, might even need a bit of calming down in return since it was his question that started all this.

Tim was secretly happy that he only had to deal with a nearly asleep and clingy Jonny, that seemed much easier right now.

Looking down xe saw that Jonnys face was mostly slack, only tensing up when they passed under a light or Tim accidentally jostled him. He looked adorable, xe’d always had a soft spot for Jonny even during the war back when xe was mortal.

Sure xe would tease him and snap at him and fight with him, but xe knew that when xe was down Jonny would come cheer xem up and he would listen to xem when xe talked about the war. About Bertie.

Bertie had had a soft spot for Jonny as well, Tim knew he had. There was no other explanation for how he’d held onto Jonny as well as Tim in their little foxhole or how he’d shared their rations of alcohol with Jonny.

He would’ve taken Jonny home along with Tim if they’d won the war together and Tim knew xe would’ve gone so easily and maybe, just maybe, Jonny would’ve come too.

Xe was so lost in xyr thoughts that xe almost didn’t notice arriving at xyr room. Xe had accidentally walked there on autopilot. Xe bit his lip, then shrugged, Jonny would forgive xem.

The door slid open, courtesy of Aurora and xe put Jonny down on the bed gently, before tucking him in.

Jonny stirred when xe put him down, but didn’t fight xem, instead he was pliant in xyr hands and willingly let himself be tucked in, leaning into xyr hand when they carded it through his hair, unable to stop xyrself.

Tim started to pull away, planning to leave Jonny on his own to sleep this all off, when a hand shot out and grabbed him. Even in the dark Tim could see Jonny had his eyes open, giving xyr a conflicted look.

“What’s going on?” xe asked.

Jonnys brow furrowed and he bit his lip, but he did not let go of Tim, who got a feeling what was going on, asked: “Still can’t talk?”

If it was literally anyone other than Jonny, Tim would’ve said xe saw a blush on his cheeks as he tapped once on Tims hand.

“That’s alright.” xe said kindly, “Do you-” it seemed absurd, but here went nothing, “Do you want me to stay?”

A hush fell over the room, despite the fact that it had been completely quiet before.

The silence seemed to stretch on forever until there was one light tap on Tims hand. Xe couldn't help the smile that took over xyr face as xe crawled back onto the bed and laid down next to Jonny.

Slowly xe felt Jonnys arm creep under xem until xe was being tugged onto Jonny. Xe gave him a questioning look and after a few swallows Jonny managed: “Pressure, helps.”

Tim nodded and made xyrself comfortable on Jonnys chest, legs between Jonnys and the whirring of Jonnys heart under xyr ear. Xe whispered: “This okay?”

A tap on his back, apparently that was enough talking for Jonny again, but at least xe got an answer from him. Xe snuggled closer and sighed: “Good. Sleep tight.”

Jonny squeezed xyr in return before he went boneless in the mattress and his breathing started to even out. Tim waited until xe was sure Jonny was fully asleep, before xe also closed xyr eyes.

Xe couldn't fall asleep immediately. Xyr thoughts were swirling with what had happened and how it had even happened. Xe couldn't shake the image of Jonny suddenly crumbling to the ground, how small he had looked rocking back as he waited for them to stop arguing.

Tim hated how Jonny had flinched away from xyr touch, hated how he’d cried while xe couldn't do anything to stop it, and xe hated how he’d lost his voice.

It had been so long since that happened last that Tim had almost forgotten about it and xe couldn't help but feel it was xyr fault. If xe hadn’t said anything about Jonnys lie, none of this would’ve happened.

But that also made xyr feel weird. Jonny had admitted this happened before and with how much Aurora knew about it, Tim doubted it wasn’t often. Still Jonny had hid it and he hadn’t planned on telling the others.

He would’ve been alone right now to deal with this and that made something constrict in xyr chest, xe much rather have Jonny right here in xyr arms, safe and asleep.

Xe looked up and Jonny and smiled at the peaceful, soft expression. The last time he’d seen that was when Bertie was still alive and The Toy Soldier had offered to take watch, even offering to be ordered, so Jonny knew it would stay.

Jonny sighed a bit, before burrowing his face into Tims hair, making xem giggle softly. Xe reached a hand out and started petting Jonnys hair, content to lie here forever.

#RR writing #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Ashes O'Reilly #Nastya Rasputina #drumbot brian #Aurora #Love makes blind chapter 1 #Love makes blind

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schrijverr · 4 years

Text

Love makes blind

Chapter 3 out of 4

Jonny gets headaches, when the others find out it leads to the revelation that he actually needs glasses. Through the whole process, he and Tim grow closer as xe is there for Jonny.

Getting together, slow burn.

On AO3.

Ships: Jonny d; Ville x Gunpowder Tim

Warnings: There’s a bar brawl. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!

A/N: Tim uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns, I myself don’t so if I mess up, I apologize and please point it out to me :)

~~~~~~~~~~

They had reached a planet and Jonny and Tim were looking to cause some trouble. Ashes had caught onto their plan and promptly joined them when leaving the ship.

They wandered around until they found a seedy bar where a fight would be imminent. A bit smaller than they would otherwise go for, but Brian had told them explicitly to be back on time since they weren’t planning on staying for more than a day.

The patrons gave them dirty looks when they walked in and Jonny couldn't help but grin and wave at them, before ordering a bunch of alcohol.

Tim got a table in the center of the bar and they set to working through the bottles as they waited for someone to start shit they could jump on to join, however, all were prepared to start something themselves if it took too long.

“Hey, four-eyes.” apparently they did not have to wait, Jonny thought as he looked around to see what was happening between who.

Once he was turned around the voice spoke again: “Yeah, you. Who do you think you are smug little librarian prick.”

With a shock Jonny realized the halfway to comatose man was talking to him. Just in case he pointed at himself and asked: “Me?”

“Don’t play dumb, nerd.” the man was swaying, “You think you’re so much better than us. Coming in here with your smug little face.”

“Say that again.” a mix of anger and delight at the confrontation was flowing through his veins.

“Smug little four-eyed freak.” the man said, before punching Jonny in the face.

His glasses flew off, but Jonny had a lot of practice in fighting without them, something the man hadn’t counted on when he’d singled him out, and grabbed the man by the throat and punched him in the face until he collapsed.

Tim and Ashes had gotten up as well as Jonny looked around the bar, face splattered with blood and a manic grin plastered on, he grinned: “Who’s next?”

And that was their cue to start, some senseless violence to get the blood pumping.

In the end they had to resort to running to Aurora with law enforcement on their heels as they laughed while the fire spread through the city.

Tims hands clutched two halves of a pair of glasses. Xe had managed to pick them up before they had to flee and although they were broken, xe still held on tight to them.

Back on Aurora Tim handed them to Jonny as xe said: “They’re a bit broken, but they’re fixable, nothing a little tape won’t help until we can get them to Raph or Nastya.”

Jonny looked at the two halves of his glasses, before he turned to Tim with a broken look on his face as he stated: “That man was mad at me for wearing glasses. Why? What is so bad about wearing glasses, there is so much to say about me, but he picked that?”

Tim looked to Ashes for support, but it seemed they had walked on without them. Xe sighed sadly and told Jonny: “I don’t know, Jonny.”

“I don’t wanna wear em anymore. It’s stupid, I deserve to be beaten up for different things.” Jonny stated and dropped the halves, before stomping off.

Xe picked up the glasses again and sighed to himself, there was way too much to unpack there, even if it had just been badly selected phrasing on Jonnys part.

Still, xe took the glasses to xyr room and gently taped them together, before leaving them at Jonnys door, when the other wouldn't let xem in.

No one saw Jonny for a week after that and the glasses remained outside his door. Tim had told the others what had happened when he’d failed to show up for dinner for the third day in a row. Afterwards xe had caught multiple members of the crew outside his door trying to reason with him about the glasses, no success so far.

Then, suddenly, Tim got woken up in the middle on the night by someone knocking at xyr door, xe groaned and called out: “Yes?”

“Can I come in?” it was Jonny, he sounded tired and hurt.

Immediately Tim was out xyr bed and at the door, sliding it open with a bang. Jonny flinched at the sound as Tim asked: “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

The taped together glasses were perched on his nose, but he had his eyes closed as he miserably said: “The headaches came back.” he was near tears, “I thought I could go without them, but I wasn’t strong enough.”

“Oh, poor thing.” Tim sighed, leading Jonny to xyr bed as xe said: “There is no strength connected to this, you can’t help it, you were good enough.”

Jonny shivered beneath xem at the words and allowed himself to be tucked into Tims bed.

“Did you drink enough?” Tim asked.

He shook his head and admitted: “I didn’t want to leave my room and drinking straight from the tab is too much work.”

“Then I’ll get you a glass.” Tim told him gently.

“You’re leaving me?” he asked, still not opening his eyes, but fear in his voice.

“No, I have a glass in my bathroom, I’ll be back in a moment. Here get comfortable.” xe got the glasses of his face and petted the top of his head for a second.

When xe returned with the glass of water, Jonny was softly swaying back and forth with his eyes closed as he hummed under his breath and fiddled with the blanket.

He startled slightly when the bed dipped under Tims weight, but he relaxed when xe said: “It’s just me. Here, hold out your hand and I’ll give you the water.”

Jonny took it gratefully and started to drink, only slowing down when Tim warned: “Small sips, calm down, dear.”

Again a pet name, Tim wanted to call Jonny them so badly, but xe couldn't, still somehow they managed to slip out at the worst times and xe was always too late to stop them from tumbling out of xyr mouth.

However it didn’t seem like Jonny had noticed as xe took the glass out of Jonnys hands and set it down on the bedside table, before crawling up the bed. Xe asked: “You want to talk about it or just lie here for now? Should I do the same as last time then?”

“Would you mind just- yeah, doing the same?” Jonny sounded small and unsure.

Despite knowing Jonny couldn't see xem, xe smiled anyway: “Of course. Just lie down.”

Jonny sagged against the pillow and Tim carefully laid down on top of him, not believing how much Jonny must trust xem, to keep his eyes closed the entire time and to let Tim take the lead to take care of him.

Xe vowed to never break Jonnys trust as xe got comfortable on his chest, pushing xyr hands under Jonnys shoulder blades as xe waited for Jonny to drop off to dreamland, something xe didn’t have to wait long for.

The next morning xe was awoken again, this time by hands carding through xyr hair and soft vibrations under xyr head as soft melodies drifted through the air. Xe sighed and burrowed into the warm chest as xe mumbled: “Five more minutes.”

Someone chuckled, Jonny, xyr mind registered, which was confirmed when the familiar voice said: “Didn’t mean to wake you up, you can go back to sleep.”

The offer was very tempting, but Tim knew xe was lying on top of Jonny cuddling him and it would probably be weird and less than platonic to go back to sleep while knowing that, so xe rolled off Jonny and said: “No, I’m awake, held you captive long enough under me, sorry for that, by the way, you’re allowed to push me off, you know.”

Jonny shrugged: “Didn’t want to, you seemed too peaceful to wake up and it was the least I could do after barging into your room in the middle of the night.”

The events flooded back and Tim cracked open one eye and asked: “You okay? Want to talk about it now?”

“I rather not talk about it, but I’m fine.” he leaned over Tim and gently slapped the nightstand in search of his glasses, putting them back on his face he sighed: “Better get these fixed, seems like I’m stuck wearing them forever.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it I could take them to Raphaella to get them fixed.” Tim offered, an idea forming in xyr mind.

Jonny smiled at xem, glasses crooked on his face, before he said: “That’s sweet, but I’m taking them to Nastya, haven’t seen her in a while and she likes yelling at me for being stupid.”

“As long as you’re sure.” Tim checked in one last time.

“I am.” Jonny said, “Really I’m fine, just hated that and then with the headache it only amplified the badness.” his voice got soft, “Thank you, for letting me stay here again.”

“It’s what friends do.” Tim told him, wishing they were so much more than that.

Meanwhile Jonny nodded, yes, friends, they were just friends. It didn’t matter that Jonny was trying to spend all his time with Tim and get xyrs attention constantly, that xe was the only person beside Nastya he trusted enough to turn to for comfort.

“I’ll get going then, maybe you can fall asleep again.” he told Tim, wishing he could lie down next to xem and curl up in xyr arms again without him being weird, to soothe the ache in his heart that he felt whenever he looked at Tim knowing xe wasn’t his.

Tim waited until Jonnys footsteps had faded, before xe rolled out of bed and got ready to face the day. Xe’d gotten an idea and with Jonny at Nastyas, this was the perfect time.

Xe set off towards Raphaella sneaking into Jonnys room beforehand to snatch up the pair of goggles that lay on the sink next to some of Jonnys make up and other knickknacks.

Once xe had explained xyr idea to Raphaella she’d clapped in her hands and told xem, she could be done in half an hour, since she had made spare lenses just in case.

With the goggles in hand xe set out to find Jonny and give him the goggles. Xe knew that Nastya would probably be holed up in the engine room, so Jonny would probably be there as well. Xe was about to knock, when xe heard Jonny exclaimed: “Xe doesn’t like me like that, you’re delusional, Nastya.”

“No, you’re just too blind to see.” Nastya replied.

“Of course I’m blind, you have my glasses.” Tim could hear the pleased smirk in the statement.

“You’ve become somehow even more annoying since you got glasses.” Nastya told him, “And you’re deflecting, don’t think I wouldn't notice.”

Jonny groaned, before he whined: “You’re just seeing that, because you want to see that. Xe doesn’t care for me like that, didn’t I just tell you xe told me about being friends this morning? Honestly, I thought you were paying attention.”

“I was and I’m not seeing things because I want to. I see them, because I have eyes. It’s quite disgusting how mushy you two are even without being together.” Nastya said, “And as for the friend thing, I would bet xe is just trying to keep it as platonic as possible to avoid making you uncomfortable.”

“Still don’t believe you, provide your evidence.” Jonny told her.

Tim felt hope creeping up xyr body, was it possible that Jonny liked xem back? They were talking about xem that was obvious and it seemed like Jonny wanted xem to like him and that Nastya had caught on to xyr feelings for Jonny and if she would give a good enough answer, maybe Jonny would see it too.

Excitedly xe leaned against the door and waited for Nastyas answer. She sighed: “Why do I need to solve your relationship problems?”

“Okay, one, not in a relationship, so not technically relationship problems. Two, I helped you and Aurora get together, so I think you owe me.” Jonny replied.

“Ugh, maybe.”

Jonny cheered, making Tim smile outside, without realizing xe did, at the happy sound from Jonny.

“So, evidence, right. You want evidence?” Nastya waited for Jonny to confirm, “Lets start with how xe looks at you, if I just saw that I would think you personally created the world just for xem. I can see heart eyes from miles away with xem.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, xe might have metal eyes, but it’s almost like they’re heart shaped.” Nastya confirmed, “Then how xe gets around you, that person goes soft.”

“What, that’s just xem. Xe’s nice.”

“God, you get that same disgusting love-sick look that xe gets.” Nastya groaned, “But no, xe’s not always like that, xe melts when you enter a room. It’s physically visible to see xem sag with mushiness. And then xe also gets all nice with you, xe’s an asshole with everyone else, but xe’ll open doors for you, save you a seat, make sure we have your favourite drink on board. It’s sweet, but also disgusting.”

Tim blushed as she just laid out xyr soul for Jonny to inspect and xe was glad that xe couldn't see Jonny right now. Xe didn’t think xe could take it, if Jonny was weirded out by it.

“Xe really does all that?” Jonny asked, his voice was strange, almost a bit float-y, “Not just being friendly, cause we’re friends?”

“No, Jonny, no, please open your goddamn eyes.” there was a fond undertone in Nastyas annoyance, “Want me to go on?”

“There’s more?” Jonny sounded surprised.

“There’s more?” Nastya mocked him, “Of course there is. Xe’s constantly complementing you about every little thing.”

Tim couldn't see Jonny frown slightly at that. He remembered Tims promise to never make him forget that he was good enough, it made him happy inside to know that xe wouldn't break a promise to him and he didn’t like how Nastya had said it.

“Xe’s keeping a promise, nothing more.” Jonny said.

“What kind of promise was that?” Nastya asked.

Jonny didn’t answer and she rolled her eyes: “Whatever it was, it isn’t exactly platonic to promise someone to complement them constantly.”

“It’s a friend thing.” Jonny insisted.

“Well, it didn’t sound very platonic and just a friend thing when xe talked about you with Ashes.” Nastya exclaimed.

Tim froze, how did Nastya know that? Ashes promised not to tell, they swore on their candle collection.

“How do you know that?” see this is why xe liked Jonny, he asked great questions.

“I was fixing something in the vents and overheard them. I didn’t mean to, but Aurora was hurting.” she had the dignity to sound sheepish.

Quietly Jonny asked: “Is it wrong to ask what they talked about?”

“I mean, probably.” Nastya answered.

It was silent for a few beats, then Jonny said: “No, that would be mean. I know I would hate it, if xe knew I was talking about xem like this.”

“Look at you taking the moral high ground.” Tim could barely hear Nastyas reply over the blood rushing past xyr ears. Xe was breaking Jonnys trust by being here, Jonny had the mind to let xem be, but xe had to go and just listen to him.

Xe swallowed hard and clutched the goggles, before running off as fast as xe could to hide away from Jonny in shame. Xe couldn't believe xyrself, how could xe been so selfish?

While Tim was running away Jonny took his now fixed glasses back from Nastya and said: “Thanks for that. I, uh, I’ll see if I talk to xem.”

“I will never breathe a word of this, if you promise to talk to xem to moment you run into xem.” Nastya replied.

“And if I don’t?” Jonny was a bit scared.

“If you don’t and I have to watch you two dance around each other again, I will tell xem what you told me here, myself.” she answered.

“Promise I will then.” he squeaked and hurried out of the room, before she could do anything.

“Don’t be a stranger, well, be a bit of a stranger, but not too much.” she called out after him.

“Yes, m’lady.” he yelled back, knowing he was out of range.

#RR writing #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim #Nastya Rasputina #jonny d'ville & nastya rasputina #Ashes O'Reilly #Love makes blind #Love makes blind chapter 3

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schrijverr · 4 years

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Love makes blind links

On AO3.

Tumblr:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

#rr masterpost #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Love makes blind #jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim #complete

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schrijverr · 4 years

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Love makes blind

Chapter 4 out of 4

Jonny gets headaches, when the others find out it leads to the revelation that he actually needs glasses. Through the whole process, he and Tim grow closer as xe is there for Jonny.

Getting together, slow burn.

On AO3.

Ships: Jonny d’Ville x Gunpowder Tim

Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed any or if you want me to tag anything!

A/N: Tim uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns, I myself don’t so if I mess up, I apologize and please point it out to me :)

~~~~~~~~~

Jonny spend the rest of the day walking around the ship as he tried to make a script in his head of what to say to Tim when he saw xem, but he did not run into xem, which was strange, since usually they would walk around together.

He shrugged it off, Tim had other things to do than be with Jonny. He would see xem tomorrow, maybe xe had decided to sleep today away after Jonny had disturbed xyr sleep.

But then the day turned into a week and Jonny hadn’t seen Tim at all and a seed of doubt had started to grow in his mind.

Had he weirded Tim out by showing up again wanting to be cuddled? Was Nastya wrong about how Tim felt? Had xe figured out how Jonny felt and hated him for it? Was that why xe was ignoring him?

As the days wore on he got sadder and sadder, until he decided that walking around alone wasn’t as nice as walking with Tim, which made him even more sad, so he stopped coming out of his room and just stayed in bed.

Meanwhile Tim was hiding out in xyr room, only coming out when xe knew no one was there to get some food or something to drink.

Xe had messed up. Jonny had come to xem with trust, knowing he could be safe with Tim and Tim had turned around and thrown it into his face by listening in a private conversation.

Tim didn’t deserve to tell Jonny how xe felt, didn’t deserve to get that chance of being loved in return. Xe had broken Jonnys trust and xe shouldn't be rewarded for that. Xe could hide xyrself away until Jonny would see what a terrible person xe was.

Every day xe sat there, clutching the goggles xe’d stolen as xe thought of how differently it could’ve gone if it had taken Raphaella a bit longer.

Tim knew xe should give the goggles back, but then xe would have to face Jonny and xe didn’t know how that would go or if xyr heart could take that confrontation.

The rest had no clue what had happened. Tim and Jonny had become joint at the hip, always together these days it seemed, until suddenly it had changed.

First Tim had disappeared to xyr room and they had to watch as Jonny grew sadder and sadder, walking past each day, but never daring to knock until he too disappeared into his room, presumably to be sad alone.

Nastya had tried to come in and check up on him, but he’d yelled at her to go away. She couldn't remember the last time he’d actually yelled at her in anger.

Ashes and Brian had knocked on Tims door, but had gotten no reaction from xem, no matter how many times they tried.

When the days continued to stretch out the others got together. They were worried about the two and knew they needed to talk, before this turned into a fight that would last a few centuries.

Nastya had cornered Ashes to tell them about the conversations and Ashes had managed to rope Brian into it as well and soon they found themselves ready to set the plan in motion.

Jonny was moping under as many blankets as he had managed to squirrel together, when he got startled out of his spiral of anxiety and sadness by someone pulling the blankets of him. He turned around to see Nastya with one hand on her hip.

“This is for your own good.” she told him, before she shot him and his world went black.

While that happened, Ashes stood outside of Tims room and announced: “Tim, we know you’re in there and we’re coming in. You have three seconds to open the door, before we open it for you.”

When the countdown was done, the door was still closed, but with one signal from Ashes Brian soon changed that as he blasted the door open.

Inside Tim looked up, sadness written over xyr face as xe tiredly asked: “What do you want from me? Why are you even here? Go away.”

“You’re locking yourself in here and making Jonny sad. Fix it.” Ashes crossed their arms, “Tell him how you feel and fix it.

“He should be mad at me.” Tim moped, “I deserve it.”

Ashes sighed, then dropped to the floor next to xem and put an arm around xem. They said: “I don’t know what happened between you two, but if you hide away and don’t talk it’s only going to grow and fester. Beside, I think it’s up to Jonny to decide how he feels, not you. And right now he’s decided to be sad, not angry.”

“Is he really that bad?” Tim asked, growing concerned.

“He stopped talking depressive walks and has turned to moping in his bed. I don’t even know if he’s been eating or drinking.” Ashes told xem honestly.

Xe swallowed heavily, this had never been xyr plan. Not that xe had a good plan when xe locked xyrself away, but still. Jonny was sad and it was xyr fault, xe had to make it up to him.

“But what if he doesn’t want to see me anymore?” the thought suddenly popped in xyr head, a hollow feeling forming in xyr chest.

“Tim.” Ashes warned xem, “We don’t have much time. Come with us.”

“No.” Tim shook xyr head, the confrontation would be too much. Xe would be better off never knowing the look Jonny would get in his eyes when he looked at xem with a mix of disgust and betrayal.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Ashes sighed and a heavy metal hand knocked xem unconscious.

Xe awoke in a dim storage bay. The light above the door signaled it was locked and Tim started to get what Ashes plan had been as xe cursed at them, before scanning the room, finding Jonnys dead from on the floor next to xem.

He looked bad. There were bags under his eyes and he looked thinner and paler than before, it was fading as he healed, but the fact that it was there worried Tim.

Quickly crawling towards him, xe took his head into xyr lap and with a handkerchief from xyr inner pocket, xe started to clean the blood away.

Jonny had once told xem how much he hated the sticky blood in his hair, a bitch to clean Tim knew from experience. Better to get it out before it dried.

Tim was still busy getting it all out when Jonny groaned and began to stir. Xe froze in xyr place unsure how Jonny would react to finding himself in Tims lap.

He blinked the dead out of his eyes and patted the floor next to him, frowning when he didn’t find his glasses. Tim had seen them earlier on the floor and leaned over, before handing them to Jonny, who took them from xem.

Blinking again, this time finally taking in his surroundings, his eyes fell on Tim and how he was sitting very closely next to xem.

His eyes grew wide and he scrambled away in a hurry while he apologized.

Tims heart broke at the action, Jonny hated xem and didn’t want to be near xem. Xe understood, but that didn’t make it any less hard. Xe hugged xyr knees to xyr chest and said: “Not your fault, I shouldn't have done that.”

From his scrambled away position Jonny took Tim in. Xe still was gorgeous, but xe was turned into xyrself and muted. Jonny hated it, but he knew why Tim would look like that. Xe was stuck in a room with Jonny, whom xe hated. He swallowed heavily and tried to blink away the tears.

Trying to start up a conversation, he softly asked: “They shot you too?”

“Huh? Uhm, no.” Tim replied, not expecting Jonny to start up a conversation with the person he hated, “Brian blew in my door and when I wouldn't listen to Ashes and come with them, he knocked me unconscious. They turned his switch probably, so I didn’t really see it coming.”

“Oh.” Jonny said.

It was quiet for a long while, neither of them really dared to break the silence, afraid of what the other would tell them.

But the silence bore down on Jonny, so he asked: “Why did Ashes want you to come? I have no clue why were here other than it would be for my own good, but I don’t know how much Nastya knows about that.”

Tim blushed and ducked further into xyrself, but xe did not answer Jonnys question, which worried him.

After a moment of deliberation with himself, Jonny moved to sit down next to xem. He’d reasoned that if Tim already hated him, he might as well try to comfort xem, the worse thing that could happen was that xe would hate him more.

He knocked his shoulder against xyrs and said: “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. We can find our way out of here and you don’t have to talk to me anymore after that, it’s okay.”

It was very much not okay, but Tim didn’t have to know how he’d almost choked on the words and his heart felt like the metal had turned into ice.

The words slammed into Tims chest, Jonny sounded so fragile as he said that, so resigned that Tim did not want to talk to him. Xe didn’t know what exactly he’d conjured in his thoughts, but if it was up to xem they were definitely still on speaking terms if Jonny managed to forgive xem.

“No, it’s alright, just embarrassing.” xe quickly told him.

“Embarrassing?” Jonny repeated in a questioning tone.

“Yeah, uhm, they told me to- you know. God this is hard.” Tim groaned, beside xem Jonny stayed quiet while xe got xyr thoughts in order, “They told me to tell you how I feel about you and make things better again.”

For a moment the silence stretched out between them, then slowly Jonny asked: “And how- how do you feel about me?”

This was it, the moment of truth. Xe might get xyr heart broken, might loose xyr best friend, might never be the same again, but there was hope in Jonnys voice and if this turned out right this might also be the start of something great.

“I- I like you.” xe told him, making eyecontact.

Xe could see how Jonnys eyes got wide and his mouth formed a little ‘o’, right before blood rushed to his face and colored his cheeks. Then his expression morphed into a frown and with a hurt voice he asked: “Then why did you ignore me?”

“Because I messed up.” Tim looked away guiltily, “I broke your trust and you should be mad at me.”

“Why? What did you do?” Jonny was confused and hurting and he just wanted to know what the horrible thing Tim had done was. He had seen xem commit so many crimes, what was so bad xe couldn't say it?

“I overheard you talking to Nastya.” xe whispered the confession.

A beat of silence, then a surprised: “What?”

“I didn’t mean to, I swear. I was just looking for you, because I got you something, but then you and Nastya were talking about me and I- I wanted to know so bad if you liked me back, so I stayed and I listened and then Nastya told you about me talking to Ashes and you- you didn’t want to know for my sake, but I- but I did that to you.” Tim was crying now, xyr voice cracking.

For a second nothing happened, then Tim had a lap full of Jonny, who hugged xem tightly and let xem burrow xyr head into his chest as he buried a hand in xyr hair.

Against xyr hairline he whispered: “Oh, Tim, I don’t mind that at all, why didn’t you say?”

Tim hiccuped: “But I broke your trust.”

“I mean, yes, but if you’d told me, I would’ve said that I liked you too and that I was glad I didn’t have to be the one to open my mouth about it first.” Jonny told xem.

“You still like me?” Tim asked timidly.

The blush was still prominent in his features as Jonny nodded and whispered: “Yes, kind of a lot.”

“Can I- can I kiss you?” Tim asked, they were already sharing breaths and with their foreheads resting against each other Tim could feel Jonny nod.

Xe didn’t know, which of them moved first, but soon their lips met in the middle. Jonnys lips were softer than xe had expected and they yielded so easily for xyrs as xe softly moved xyrs against his until xe deepened the kiss.

Jonnys hand was in xyr hair and he was straddling xyr lap as he clutched to xem tightly, his head to the side and his eyes closed.

When they were nearly breathless they broke apart to catch their breath. Jonnys glasses had slid down along his nose and were now balancing precariously on the tip as they fogged up a bit from their breaths.

Tim smiled and gently pushed them up his nose, giggling when he went cross eyed to follow the motion.

The action reminded xem of the goggles xe still had with xem and xe patted xyr pockets until xe was able to fish them out of one and present them to Jonny: “For you.”

“These are my goggles.” Jonny took them and inspected them a bit confused.

“Oh, yeah, I took them, it’s why I was looking for you. I wanted to give them to you.” Tim told him.

“Why would you need to give me my goggles after taking them from me? Not that I don’t appreciate you giving me my stuff back.” Jonny said.

“I had Raphaella put lenses with a prescription in them, so you can wear them instead of your glasses.” Tim explained, “You were so upset about it and they flew off during the fight and broke, so I thought that maybe you appreciate having another option.”

With that explanation Jonny brightened up and with Tim holding him in place on xyr lap, he had his hands free to try them on. He put his normal glasses on Tims head, before trying on the goggles and looking around.

“All clear.” he announced, then shook his head a bit, “And secure.”

He looked back to Tim and bashfully gave xem a peck on the nose, before he said: “Thank you, Tim, that’s really sweet.”

“No problem, dear, did it with love.” Tim grinned, happy xe could finally use the pet names.

“Uhm, just so we’re, you know, on the same page and everything, uhm, can I- can I call you my- my partner?” Jonny stammered, putting the goggles on top of his head and sliding his glasses back into place.

“I’d love to be your partner.” Tim smiled, “Can I call you my boyfriend, or would you prefer something else?”

Jonny bounced a bit from excitement in xyr lap and hugged xem tightly again as he said: “I’d love nothing more.”

“You’re adorable, love.” Tim told him, giving him a few more pecks.

Xe noticed Jonny staring at xem with a dopey look, so xe asked: “Something on my face?”

“Uh, oh, just- you called me dear and love.” Jonny whispered.

“Should I- should I not do that?” Tim asked uncertain.

“No! No, uhm, no you can do that.” Jonny tried to play his outburst cool, “You used them before, it was nice, but you’d always cringe afterwards, so I don’t want you to force anything.”

“Ahw, sweetheart, I was cringing because I was trying to hide my big fat crush on you, not really subtle if I call you love, now is it? But now I can do it to my hearts content.” xe said.

Tim could feel Jonnys smile under xyr own as xe leaned in for another kiss. Xe could sit here for hours with Jonny in xyr lap and their lips locked together.

And xe partly got that wish, they were still kissing fifteen minutes later when a knock came on the door and the light went from red to green.

“Aurora said you made up, so me and Ashes have decided to set you free.” Nastyas voice came from the other side.

Leaning back from Tim Jonny called out: “We did, now fuck off.”

“Bold of you to assume we want to stick around for your grossness.” Ashes yelled, before two pairs of footsteps slowly disappeared out of hearing range.

Jonny got up and offered Tim a hand up as he said: “If you are agreeable, I would like to cuddle my beautiful partner today after I made xem some food and lie in bed and watch a movie.”

Tim took his hand and smiled: “I’d love nothing more.”

#RR writing #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim #Nastya Rasputina #Ashes O'Reilly #drumbot brian #Love makes blind #Love makes blind chapter 4

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schrijverr · 3 years

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Spoils of Love

Jonnys partners spoiling him, because they know how much he likes stuff.

On AO3.

Ships: Polymechs, Nastya x Aurora (Nastya is also part of the polymechs, it is what she deserves)

Warnings: none really, but tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jonnys partners knew he loved things, especially shiny or expensive things. He tried to hide it of course, but he could never fully hide the way his eyes lit up whenever he saw an expensive store display or how he let his hands run over the nice clothing.

From that it wasn’t such a leap to make that Jonny would love getting said shiny or expensive things from one of his partners, a task they didn’t mind doing.

It started with Ashes. They were usually the one on Jonny-sitting duties while on planet, since they were violent enough that he wouldn't get bored and run off. This also meant that they saw Jonny around stores the most and first noticed the tendency towards shiny and expensive things.

So when Tim took over for them, coming to pick Jonny up after xe’d found a huge bank with what xe thought to be lackluster security, they decided to get him a gift.

The two pillows they picked out were big and soft. Ashes even let the cashier wrap them nicely before they pulled a gun on him and took them without paying. They grinned to themself, Jonny would love the addition to his collection of plushy things for the monstrosity he called a bed.

Back on Aurora, when everyone was done with their violence, errands and other occupations, they found Jonny once more. He was drinking with Tim, TS, Brian and Marius. When he saw Ashes with a wrapped gift, he called out: “What you got there, Ashes?”

Curious little thing he was, Ashes thought. They handed him the gift and said: “I got you a little something, darling. Open it.”

“It’s not going to explode, right?” Jonny asked, poking the gift, seeming surprised when he found it was soft.

“What is it?” Tim asked, looking curiously over Jonnys shoulder to the gift.

Ashes rolled their eyes: “No, it’s not going to explode and you would know if he opened it.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jonny grumbled as he tore open the wrapping paper gleefully. When he felt the soft pillows, his eyes lit up. He looked up and said: “It’s velvet, the casings are velvet.”

“Only the best for you, of course.” Ashes replied, before leaving a small kiss on his forehead, “Thought they would fit nicely on your nest.”

“Not a nest.” Jonny pouted, but he blushed slightly and there was a small smile playing at his lips. It was a rare soft one, he usually wouldn't allow.

With the mission successful Ashes sat down and poured themself a glass of whiskey and leaned back in one of the chairs. They watched as Jonny petted the pillows, obviously pleased.

After a while of just admiring them, Jonny suddenly got up and said: “I’m gonna put them away before anyone spills something on them.” as he was about to walk out of the room, he turned back and added in a softer voice, “Uhm, thank you, Ashes.”

“Not a problem, darling.” Ashes smiled in return, for once not minding the soft look that would undoubtedly be in their eyes as they followed Jonny while he left.

Then they were distracted by Tim, who sat down in their lap and grinned: “So, when am I getting some fancy pillows?”

“You say this like I didn’t help you steal a machine gun a few planets back. And like you want soft pillows when you and I both know you would much rather lie in Jonnys bed instead of having your own.” Ashes said as they tucked a strand of loose hair behind Tims ear.

Tim was quiet for a moment then xe pushed their face away and grumbled: “Shut up.”

“I know you love me, sweetheart.” Ashes teased.

“Sadly.” Tim replied dryly, before getting off their lap and draping over Brian while exclaiming: “At least Brian will be nice to me.”

“Dramaqueen.” Brian told xem.

Tim rolled off him and clutched xyr heart as xe cried: “Betrayed. Tossed aside. Unloved. Oh, how cruel can faith be. Abandoned by my own lovers- Oh, hi Jonny.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” the newly returned Jonny asked.

“Xe’s being dramatic over nothing.” Marius told him.

“Ah, so the usual then.” Jonny commented, getting a pout-y “Meanie.” from Tim.

But with Ashes gift, the seed had been planted in the brain of the people who had been there and had seen how happy Jonny had been with the small gesture. So it was soon after that Brian decided to give him something.

With the end of making Jonny smile like that, he had slipped the beautifully adorned knife into his pocket. The knife had a hand carved ivory handle with a sunset on it inlaid with gold, while the blade had a cut out of a small town in the middle.

Since he had stolen it and his hands could be clunky, Brian had decided not to wrap it, instead he handed it to Jonny while they were walking to dinner together: “Here, I saw this and thought of you, so I got it. Hope you like it.”

Jonny seemed surprised, then he gently took the knife and inspected it. It was sharp and he cut himself on it, but that only made him smile. He quickly hugged Brian as he said: “Thank you, I love it.”

Then he skipped off excitedly with Brian hurrying behind him to see what he was going to do now. He was slightly too late, because when he arrived Marius already had the knife in his heart as he lay on the floor.

“It works perfectly, Brian.” Jonny grinned, cleaning the knife with Marius’ sleeve. And Brian would have scolded him for that if he hadn’t gotten a peck on his cheek right after, something Jonny rarely did since he hated that he had to get on his tiptoes for it.

Brian got shook out of his stupid happy daze with Nastya yelling: “Where is my kiss, d’Ville?”

“Maybe if you get me something nice you will get one.” Jonny stuck his tongue out at her, but he still gave her a kiss on her temple before he sat down.

However, she later did show up to his door with in her hands a box with a bow on it. He looked at it with a furrowed brow and asked: “What’s that for?”

“For the kiss.” Nastya grinned, “Come on, open it.”

“You didn’t have to do that. I was joking, you know.” Jonny told her as he gently lifted the lid of the box. When he saw what was in it he gasped: “You didn’t.”

“I know how much you enjoyed the satin pjs the doc lend you, fancypants. I figured they must have perished since then, so, you know.” Nastya explained.

“Not a fancypants.” Jonny told her, but there was a twinkle of delight in his eyes as he ran a hand over the satin with a soft grin and red dusting his cheeks.

“Whatever you say.” Nastya said, “Now, go, try it on.”

Jonny didn’t protest that, just pulled her into his room and closed the door as he changed clothes, while Nastya made herself comfortable on his bed, sinking into the thick mattress. She was just contemplating how soft the pillows Jonny got from Ashes were, when Jonny snapped her out of it: “So, what do we think?”

He twirled around, showing off the soft lilac color as the camisole billowed around him, revealing his soft tummy and the shorts with lace on the underside that matched perfectly. Nastya just appreciated him a moment, then smiled: “You look absolutely gorgeous, Jonny.”

For a moment it seemed like he was going to protest, but then the words caught up to him and the dusting on his cheeks intensified as he started spluttering.

“Come here, I didn’t just give you that to be pretty, but also so that you feel nice to hold.” Nastya beckoned him closer.

Apparently his brain wasn’t fully back online, because he crawled onto the bed without comment and made himself comfortable in her arms. She smiled and gave him a peck on his forehead, then a kiss on his lips when he wiggled closer to her.

About an hour later the door slid open to reveal Tim also dressed for sleep. Xe asked: “Can I sleep here tonight?”

“Yeah, of course, Nastya is here too.” Jonny answered.

Tim smiled and bounced over to the bed: “Hi, Nastya-dear, how are-” then xe spotted Jonny, “Oh, wow, you look beautiful this fine evening, princess.”

“I’m still not a fucking princess, Tim, why the fuck do you keep calling me that?” Jonny groused, curling into Nastya grumpily, but mostly to hide the blush everyone knew would be on his face.

“I will stop the moment you stop being beautiful, princess.” Tim told him.

Jonny sighed, then rolled back again and said: “Alright, whatever… And it was Nastya who got me the outfit.”

He sounded happier at the end, he was clearly loving the outfit. Nastya had noticed how he’d kept rubbing the material between his fingers the entire time and with the tone she grinned proudly at Tim.

“Nastya-dear, you make the best choices, I could kiss you right now.” Tim exclaimed.

“Dramaque- hmpf” Nastyas eyeroll was cut off by a quick kiss, before Tim flopped fully down on the bed and made xemself comfortable to go to sleep.

“Idiot.” Nastya told xem, but she didn’t really mean it and just snuggled up to the other two, leeching as much body heat as she could.

The next morning Nastya and Tim had the pleasant sight of Jonny still in the pjs to wake up to, who yawned slightly and blinked his eyes open slowly.

“I know I already told you this, dear, but you really do make the best choices.” Tim commented to Nastya, who just pushed xem over.

But Tim did mean it, Jonny looked soft and sweet, something he was absolutely not, but it did do funny things to Tims heart. So, xe decided Jonny would need to look like that more and Tim was going to make sure he did.

Xe knew Jonny was loathe to part with his usual outfit, but xe also knew his tendency towards soft things if shiny wasn’t available or fitting.

This was what xe kept in mind as xe wondered through stores on the latest planet they were on. Xe had ditched Marius, Ashes and Jonnys attempt to rid the planet of its booze by drinking it and just hoped they wouldn't run into xem. Xe wanted it to be a surprise.

Xyr hand ran over multiple sweaters, feeling how soft they were. Xe was in a fancy uptown store and the store lady was looking at xem judgmentally as if xe couldn't afford to be here. With the way Ashes hoarded gold xe probably could, but xe wasn’t planning on paying.

Mentally xe was picturing how xe was going to kill the store lady when xe robbed the store, when xyr hand touched something extra soft.

The thing xe touched was a white sweater with a tag on it that stated that it was fully desert worm fur imported all the way from the Briar’s Desert Moon. Tim didn’t exactly know what that meant, but it sounded fancy and it was incredibly soft.

With a grin xe took the plushy fancy sweater and made sure it would be a bit oversized on Jonnys already short frame.

Xe made xyr way over to the counter, completely fed up with the judge-y store lady. With fake politeness xe said: “Hi, uhm” quickly reading her name tag, “Karen. Could you please wrap this for me, it’s a gift.”

“Of course.” she replied, equally fake making Tim cringe.

When she was done wrapping, she put it down on the counter and told xem the price. Tim pulled out a gun and said: “So, I will not be doing that.”

Karen was easily convinced to let xem go when xe shot her, but Tim did have a bit of law enforcement on xyr trail by the time xe met up with the others. She had managed to push a button before she’d died, apparently.

Marius saw xem first and called out: “Tim! We’re planning to go to a few more bars, you with us?”

“I’m afraid we have to fucking run, love.” Tim yelled, not stopping just running past them as xyr chasers came into view now as well.

The others cursed and set to running as well, knowing that Nastya would leave them behind to spare damage to her precious Aurora if they weren’t there too. Ashes came up next to Tim and said: “Hope it was fucking worth it, sweetheart.”

Tim held up the gift and said: “I think it is.”

“For Jonny?” Ashes asked and Tim nodded.

“What for me?” Jonny almost fell on his face when he tried to turn around and see what they were talking about.

“You’ll find out when we’re on Aurora, princess.” Tim grinned when xe saw Jonny stumble before grousing something inaudible.

Crashing onto an already taking off Aurora, Marius panted: “So what did you do this time?”

“Robbed a fancy store.” Tim answered.

Jonny perked up, remembering what he had heard on their run back. Curiously he asked: “What did ya get?”

“Why don’t you unwrap and find out, princess.” Tim told him.

Taking it eagerly Jonny didn’t even seem to mind the pet name. He gasped when he felt the softness to pick the sweater up and ran his fingers over the fabric.

“It’s apparently fully desert worm fur imported from the Briar’s Desert Moon, if that means anything to you.” Tim said.

Jonnys eyes got big: “Really? God, we must be before King Cole then, I heard it was super rare and stuff.” he hugged Tim and squeezed xem tightly as he softly said: “Thank you, Tim, I love it.”

“No problem, princess, did it with love.” Tim said, planting a kiss on Jonnys forehead, before the other let go to try the sweater on.

Like Tim had guessed it was slightly oversized. It hung a bit of one shoulder and the sleeves came to Jonnys fingers, something that he didn’t notice for a few seconds. He looked incredibly cozy as he hugged himself and petted the fabric happily.

Ashes leaned over to Tim and softly said: “You are right, sweetheart, completely worth it.”

Then they walked over to Jonny and grinned: “Don’t think you can get away with looking this soft without getting a hug, darling.” before sweeping him up into their arms.

Jonny shrieked lightly and struggled, but the others could see he didn’t really put up an actual fight.

Marius smiled softly at two of his partners, then remarked: “He sure does love getting things, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, did you see the pjs Nastya got him?” Tim asked.

“I did and I felt the knife Brian gave him.” Marius replied, wrinkling his nose.

Tim cackled at that and grinned: “I told you he wouldn't appreciate you calling him doll.”

“But he lets you call him princess. How is doll worse than that?” Marius hissed, displeased but trying to make sure Jonny didn’t hear them.

“You think I was just allowed to do that?” Tim raised a brow, “I died like a hundred times for that pet name. It’s the dedication.”

Marius pulled a thinking face then called out: “Can I get a hug too, doll?”

The last thing he heard before the bullet hit was Tim laughing and when he was revived the hallway was empty.

However when he woke up he had a mission. Marius died about forty times before they reached the next planet, but he hadn’t given up. The last time he’d used the pet name, Jonny had hesitated before pulling the trigger. This was progress.

Marius had also observed that he was nicer after getting a gift, he probably wasn’t used to people getting him stuff with his youth and the fact that people suddenly were was foreign but nice, which put him in a better mood.

This is how he ended up in a leather working store on the latest planet, trying to figure out which of the belts Jonny would like best.

In the end he settled on a broader belt with an eagle buckle. It was a bit large and extra, but that just made it more fitting in Marius’ not so humble opinion. So, he got it and prayed that this would be his in to calling Jonny doll.

He didn’t even know why he wanted to so bad.

No, that was a lie, he knew exactly why. Calling Jonny a pet name was something the whole crew had almost agreed upon. A combination of the blushing and stammering with a small smile, if you were lucky, made it so much fun.

Some of the others had the same reaction and people made sure to exploit that, but Jonnys was the most extreme out of all of them and as the oldest who always wanted to look tough, so extra it was nice. Nice to let him know they loved him in a small way, before he could start to doubt it.

And Marius wanted to call him doll.

It was more fun than calling him something another crew member already did. And if a belt was the way to do it, then that was the way it was. Jonnys reaction to getting stuff, might be up there with the reaction to pet names anyway.

That night when they were hanging on the couch Marius got the gift out of his coat pocket and said: “Doll, I got you something.”

Jonny looked up and the pet name and immediately seemed annoyed at himself that he did. However before he could shoot Marius the rest of the sentence had registered, so he lowered his gun with a suspicious look and accepted the gift.

He was surprised by how it felt and the gun laid forgotten by his side as he unwrapped it curiously.

His eyes lit up at the shiny buckle that glinted in the light and he moved it from side to side, admiring how the light bounced off it with a happy little grin.

“Thank you so much, Marius.” he said with a big smile, looking up to Marius, before busying himself by wrapping the belt around his waist.

“Glad you like it, doll.” Marius replied, waiting for the moment he’d get shot.

It never came, instead he got pulled onto the couch and had a Jonny curling up into his side after a peck on his cheek, then softly Jonny admitted: “Okay, so maybe the pet name can stay.”

Marius grinned proudly. A success.

Farther up the couch The Toy Soldier began: “I Do Not Get It, What Does The Belt Have-”

It got cut off by Tim, who muffled it by putting a hand over its mouth as xe said: “Leave it, teacup, he just got there. I’ll explain later.”

Tim kept xyr promise to explain it later to TS and it was soon after that it came up to Jonny with a gigantic bouquet of roses, must have been over fifty, as it exclaimed: “I Understood That Giving Gifts, Like Flowers, Is A Romantic Gesture And I Have Understood That You Like Getting Them Especially.”

Jonny got extremely red, more so then normal, as he spluttered: “It’s not just- the others also- I don’t- where did you get- why would I like flowers?”

The Toy Soldiers face could not change, but all saw the sadness as it asked: “Do you- do you not like my gift?”

“No, no, I do, I do.” Jonny quickly assured it. Then he bashfully took the flowers and softly added: “It’s just that no one looks at me and thinks of flowers, but really, thank you, TS.”

It looked happier again as it saluted: “You Quite Are Welcome, Chap.”

“Idiot.” Jonny told it fondly as he gave it a kiss on its cheek.

After Jonny had admired the roses some more, he suddenly asked: “Why did you say that I like getting gifts especially? I’m sure the others like getting them too. I mean, Tim was ecstatic with xyr machine gun and Nastya didn’t shut up about the new tools Brian gave her for a month.”

“You Get Soft.” The Toy Soldier explained, “The Others Have Told Me That You Like Getting Them And Have A Fun Reaction To Them. I See And Like It Too. You Get Happier And Soft When Someone Gifts You Anything.”

“Wha- I don’t?” Jonny tried to deny it.

“It is quite correct.” Ivy said from where she was pressed between Marius and the edge of the couch, “Your face temperature increases, causing your skin to get 60% redder and you are in a better mood for the follow week at least. This is a 15% better reaction than our other partners, who still appreciate the gifts, but will not carry the effect around for that long.”

Jonny got even more red as he once again tried to deny it, hiding his face behind the flowers as he whined: “I don’t blush.”

“You do, doll, it’s quite cute.” Marius told him.

“If I didn’t have these nice flowers in my hands, you would be dead right now, von Raum.” Jonny told him, giving him a glare. And with that he turned around, marching of to put the roses in a vase in his room.

After a moment of silence Ivy asked: “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, of course not, m’lady.” Marius assured her, “Jonny just doesn’t like to be confronted with the fact that he has emotions and feels things.”

And that was that, but the statistics of Jonnys reactions to gifts kept floating around in her head. She couldn't help but think that she had upset Jonny and she wanted to make it up to him. However for all her knowledge she didn’t know what to pick.

“Do you really think it’s good?” she asked again.

“Yes, of course, dearie.” Raphaella assured her for the twentieth time.

“You know Jonny loves anything shiny.” Marius agreed.

“I do know that, there is a 89% chance that his attention will be drawn to anything shiny the moment he sees it, but it needs to be perfect. Is this perfect? Do you think he’ll like it?” Ivy replied, still not completely sure.

Raphaella slung an arm around her and pulled her into her side as she said: “He’ll like it, I’m sure. From what you told me he’ll appreciate the gesture alone a lot already.”

“But what if he doesn’t and gets mad at me. There is a 65% chance of that happening as well.” Ivy worried her lip between her teeth.

“I think you’re not taking his emotional issues and need for affection into that calculation, m’lday.” Marius told her, “He likes getting spoiled, it’ll be fine. I don’t think he’s even mad at you.”

“There still is a-”

“Don’t. Stop. Bad archivist.” Raph cut her off teasingly, “Just get the bracelets, dearie.”

“Alright, alright.” Ivy gave in and took the bracelets.

On their way back Ivy listed all the reasons Jonny wouldn't like it and the statistics of him never talking to her again, while Marius and Raphaella tried to distract her and cheer her up. In the end they even robbed a bookstore.

Back aboard most of the crew was chilling in the creatively named couch room where all the couches were. Ivy hesitated in the doorway, stumbling forward when Raphaella gently pushed her: “Come on, dearie.”

Most of the others had noticed the three now as well and Brian asked: “Are you alright, Ivy?”

Ivy nodded, then walked up to Jonny and held out the gift. She said: “Here, this is for you. I don’t know if you’re still mad at me for what happened when TS got you flowers, but I didn’t mean it like an insult, it’s sweet.”

“Oh.” Jonny looked surprised as the took the gift, “Uhm, I- Thank you, but you didn’t need to do that, really. I wasn’t mad, just…”

“Embarrassed?” Marius filled in, getting an elbow in his side from Raphaella.

Jonny glared at him as well, but then admitted: “I didn’t know it was that obvious.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Jonny. 100% of the crew likes, it, well 88.89% since Raph never saw it.” Ivy said, “What I wanted to say is: don’t be, you deserve nice things.”

“That really depends on your definition of deserve with us being criminals and all that.” Raphaella commented.

“Not now, angel.” Marius whispered to her taking the common sense braincell from her.

Jonny fiddled a bit with the wrapping paper, not replying to Ivys comment nor looking her in the eyes. He unwrapped the gift to distract himself from the conversation, which succeeded when he gasped at the shiny expensive material. His eyes glittered as he let the gold reflect the light with a grin on his face.

He got up and pulled Ivy into a tight hug: “Thank you so much, Ives.”

Ivys cheeks got the same color of her hair as she mumbled something about it not being a problem, but there was a smile tugging at her lips as well.

“Can you do the clasps for me?” Jonny asked her, holding out his right wrist.

“Yes, of course.” Ivy replied, gently taking the bracelets from him and putting them around his wrist before clasping them, “There you go.”

They smiled at each other, a moment that was quickly broken by Tim, who tackled them both onto the couch as xe squealed: “You two are just too cute.”

Jonny grumbled something and trashed lightly, but both of them gave over to the pile, especially when Raphaella jumped on it, causing TS to join as well as Marius, before it turned into a big cuddle pile.

A while into the pile Raphaella crawled over to Jonny and asked: “Can I do an experiment on you sometime in the future?”

“Wha- oh, sure, whatever.” Jonny replied, who was currently getting crushed under Nastya with her heavy blood and trying to fight off Brian holding a tomato while ranting about scurvy, so not really realizing what he said yes to.

“Great!” Raphaella said, before crawling back to Marius who had promised her a back-rub, already planning in her mind.

A few planets later that experiment came to fruition. She’d had to use the clip made by Aurora to get him to come and even died a few times because it was apparently unfair to ask that in those circumstances.

“I still think this is unjust.” Jonny pouted, sitting before a table with sensors on his head and a few cameras trained at him.

“You don’t even know what we’re going to do.” Raphaella rolled her eyes, “Maybe you’ll like it.”

“Not to burst your bubble, but the last time I was here you pulled out my teeth to study them and dissolved my eyes with chemicals.” Jonny told her.

“Well… This is different.” Raphaella assured him.

“If you say so.” Jonny did not sound convinced.

“I do say so, this is a social experiment to see your reaction, nothing physical.” Raphaella said cheerfully.

“Reaction to good or bad things?” Jonny called out, but she had already disappeared into a box filled whatever she was going to show him.

“Okay, so we’ll need to space it out, so that the previous ones won’t interfere with later data.” it wasn’t clear if Raphaella was talking to herself or Jonny as she put down three covered objects near the table.

At this point Jonny had decided to give up and just go with it, so he just sat there and waited for instructions, something he rarely did. He knew Raphaella could get distracted by her science, but she could be nice when you were patient, maybe he could get cuddles out of this.

“Ah, of course, I forgot.” Raphaella turned around, getting three more covered things and putting them down as well.

“So,” she now focused on Jonny again, “I need you to sit there and react to what I show you. That sound good?”

“Sure.” Jonny shrugged, trying to think of whatever she could be showing him.

“Alrighty.” she put down the first object and lifted the covering to reveal a pair of earrings with diamonds in them.

Jonnys eyes widened and he looked to Raphaella with questioning eyes, before back to the earrings. She could see he wanted to touch them and take them, but did not dare do so without her say so, still careful not to mess up her experiment, how thoughtful.

“These are for you.” she said.

“Really?” he asked, gingerly taking the earrings and admiring them in the light, a happy flush on his cheeks as he inspected them, before putting them in and looking at his reflection in the table to see how they looked.

“Thank you!” he grinned, looking up to see Raphaella writing furiously in a notebook. He rolled his eyes fondly and waited for her to finish, when she looked up he did a little pose and asked: “So, how do I look?”

“Very pretty.” Raphaella answered without taking a moment to think or hesitate.

The flush on his face became more prominent as he gaped a few times, before grouchily telling Raphaella to shut the fuck up.

She just smiled knowingly, which he also hated, before putting another item on the table. Jonny looked at it curiously, but reeled back slightly when Raphaella pulled the covering off to reveal the cut off head of a moon beast.

“What the actual fuck, Raph!” Jonny exclaimed, “Why the hell are you showing me this?”

“I call it a neutralizer, my first idea was to kill you, but Brian vetoed that and had a reasonable enough explanation for me to listen, which I cannot tell you because that would ruin the experiment, so you just have to trust me.” Raphaella said.

“I never trust you.” Jonny told her.

“That’s probably for the best.” she agreed, already moving on to the next item.

It was bigger than before and Jonny eyed it with suspicion, which was replaced by a glint when it was revealed to be a huge fluffy blanket.

“I know you have your bed exactly as you like, which is why I thought I’d get you something for on the rest of Aurora, so you don’t have to mess up your bed.” Raphaella explained.

Jonnys bottom lip quivered as he looked at the blanket, quickly hiding his face in the softness, rubbing his face on it with an in awe look when he felt just how incredibly soft it was.

The blush had returned when he looked up again and the grin from before turned into a full beam as he said: “I don’t know why you’re doing this, but thank you so much, it’s very thoughtful.”

“It’s no problem, it was also very sweet of you to help with this experiment.” Raphaella replied.

“Still, I was a prick about that.” Jonny told her.

“You’re always a prick.” Raphaella grinned.

Then she grabbed another plate and showed Jonny a weird gooey substance and informing him that it was octokitten vomit. Jonny pulled a disgusted face, but inside he was starting to see a pattern, so when she grabbed the next thing, he looked closely. Only to come face to face with a fungus.

“Why?” Jonny yelled.

“To keep you on your toes.” Raphaella explained, not caring about his pouting as she took the next object that Jonny did not trust at all. When it got revealed he asked: “Is that…?”

“Yggdrasil ale? Well, yes, it was very hard to get from a prison cell, you know, and the shop keep was not happy that it went missing.” Raphaella answered.

“I can imagine, this is super expensive.” Jonny said with wide eyes, taking the bottle in his hands after an encouraging nod from Raphaella.

“You like it?” she asked.

“Raphaella, light of my life, I love it.” Jonny exclaimed, “This is great and very sweet,” he clutched the blanket in his hand, “though I still don’t get it.”

“It’s an experiment of your reactions to gifts.” Raphaella told him, “I still have to work through all of the data, but I’m trying to figure out the optimal gift based off your reactions.”

Jonny became beet red instantly and spluttered for a long while, before he managed: “You don’t- why would you- I don’t get- what?”

“Interesting.” Raphaella nodded thoughtfully to herself, observing Jonnys reaction as he got more flustered.

After a moment of silence, Jonny said: “You really didn’t have to do that.”

“But I wanted to, it’s nice to do something nice for you and this is kind of the only thing I know how to do nice, except for that time I tested how magnetic each mechanism was and we all got stuck to the wall until TS-”

“It’s alright, Raph, I know.” Jonny cut her off, his laugh audible in his voice.

They smiled at each other, before Raphaella got up to detach all the wires. When she was done Jonny gave her a soft kiss, after which he allowed her to lead him out of her lab as he held on to the blanket and ale, earrings shining proudly in his ears.

When they opened the door, they saw the rest of the crew standing outside. Jonny nearly jumped and asked: “What the fuck are y’all doing here?”

Brian rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and admitted: “We knew you were doing an experiment with Raph, but then Tim walked by and xe didn’t hear any screams, so we got worried and kind off waited to… check in on you?”

It was silent, then Jonny laughed, the laugh was bubbly and not at all his usual cackle: “That’s very sweet, but also kind of funny.”

Tim crossed xyr arms and pouted: “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

“What did she do?” Ivy asked, always needing to know.

“She got me gifts, it’s part of an experiment apparently, but I don’t really get part. It was very sweet though.” Jonny explained.

“It’s comparing his reaction to personal, shiny, or expensive gifts, I still need to work out the details, but I think I got a solid testing done today.” Raphaella smiled.

“You got him three gifts?” Marius exclaimed, “Now we’re all behind.”

More protest and angry noises were heard, though all in good sport. Jonny however quickly said: “You are not behind at all. I got enough gifts to last a lifetime, which was really nice, so thank you, again.”

“You forget you have many lifetimes, Jonny-darling.” Ashes told him, throwing an arm around his shoulder and pulling him into their side so that they could plant a kiss on his temple.

Jonny mumbled something incomprehensible, a deep flush coloring his cheeks.

“I Did Not Hear You, Jonny. What Did You Say?” The Toy Soldier asked.

Exploding a bit, Jonny yelled: “I said that I am making you all a big dinner!”

“I Am Confused What This Has To Do With The Conversation.” The Toy Soldier cocked its head to convey said confusion.

“Well, y’all can’t be the only one being nice.” Jonny said, grumbling a bit more and marching off grumpily when the others dared to coo over him.

A few days later a big dinner was served that had everyones favorites. It had taken Jonny a while with organization and they had to drop by a planet for some ingredients, but all could see how pleased he was with his own hard work.

“Dig in.” he told them with a flourish and a grin.

The others didn’t need to be told twice as they practically attacked the food with delight. It was a rowdy dinner, which was par of the course, as everyone tried to talk over one another or upped their volume to be heard over the racket.

“This is delicious, thank you, darling.” Ashes said with their mouth full.

“Yeah, it’s great, princess.” Tim agreed.

More sounds of content and agreement as well as thank yous floated up from the group, making Jonny beam with pride as he focused on his plate without meeting anyone's eyes. The chaos soon continued, when Tim decided to steal a bite of Nastyas plate, who retaliated.

However, all fell silent to listen to Raph, when she had told Jonny: “I got the results from my experiment, if you’re interested.”

Before Jonny could answer, Ashes yelled: “We’re interested, poppet. Explain your science.”

“Alright, so I had three categories, which I’ve already told you before but they were personal, shiny, and expensive gifts. I wanted to do more of each one to get a more statistically sound experiment, but I thought that more would be overwhelming, which would also throw the data off, so I just stuck to three, but I might want to do a repeat or study camera footage of Aurora.” Raphaella began.

The others nodded along, happy to listen to her ramble about her science.

“Anyway, I got a blanket for personal, earrings for shiny and Yggdrasil ale for expensive and then some other fascinating but experienced as unpleasant neutralizers to ensure that the reaction to one wouldn't carry over to the next.” Raphaella said.

“Was that the mold, the cut of head and the vomit was for?” Jonny asked.

Raphaella nodded enthusiastically: “Yup and they did their job marvelously. Your brain activity shifts and the heat of your cheeks decreased to a more usual level.”

“I don’t blush.” Jonny mumbled.

“Oh, but you do! I can show you the footage or the heat signatures and my calcula-”

“Yeah, okay, whatever, just- just move on.” Jonny slumped in his seat, pointedly ignoring the annoying smirks of a few of his partners.

“Alright then, if you’re sure.” Raphaella said, then she moved on, “The final rankings were personal first, then shiny and then expensive, although the reactions were all positive and endorphin levels were huge, which should have a good effect on your health and mental well being.”

“Not expensive first?” Nastya asked, “But he’s such a fancypants.”

“Why do you always have to call me that?” Jonny complained.

“She is right though, darling.” Ashes defended Nastya, making Jonny pout.

Raphaella thought about the question and answered Nastya: “Well, I’m still trying to figure that out, but I will have to dive deeper into Jonnys personality, maybe do interviews and social sciences have never been my main focus so I’ll have to read up on it.”

“Please don’t dive deeper into my personality.” Jonny said with an edge to his voice.

All eyes were now on him and he shifted in his seat and scratched his nose, not making any eyecontact. When the quiet dragged on, he glanced up and made eyecontact with Marius, who gave him a concerned look and cocked a brow at him.

“What?” he threw his hands up in the air, “So, I don’t like people prying into me, no matter who they are. You’re going to psychoanalyze me over it?”

“No, doll, not if you don’t want to.” Marius replied, feeling saddened with Jonnys surprised look.

The following quiet was broken by Tim, who draped xemself over Jonnys side as xe said: “So, personal gifts, eh, princess?”

“Shut up.” Jonny pushed xem, but it wasn’t hard enough to actually make xem move.

“Ahw, you’re so sweet.” Tim cooed.

“No, I’m not.” Jonny grumbled, then he admitted softly: “It’s just nice that people think of you, you know?”

“Then I Shall Think Of You On Every Planet, Jonny, Ol’ Chap!” The Toy Soldier exclaimed.

With wide eyes Jonny said: “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that. It will get a bit out of hand if you do that, TS. The sentiment is sweet, though.”

“No, I’m with TS here.” Nastya grinned at him and gave him a wink.

More agreed and Jonny stopped functioning for a second, before he weakly protested: “It’s really not necessary.”

“Darling, it’s literally scientifically proven that it is beneficial to give you things.” Ashes told him.

“I hate you all.” Jonny said, burying his face in his hands.

“No you don’t.” Marius smirked and he was right, even if Jonny wasn’t currently admitting it.

The evening moved on and on the next planet Ashes came back with a fancy gun and later Brian with a bag of sweets to cater to Jonnys sweet tooth.

And so they collectively assured that Jonnys collection of things continued to grow throughout time, because they all saw how happy it made their First Mate and the small smiles, thank yous and kisses made it all completely worth it.

#RR writing #the mechs #The Mechanisms #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #Ashes O'Reilly #drumbot brian #Ivy Alexandria #raphaella la cognizi #marius von raum #Nastya Rasputina #aurora x nastya #polymechs #poly mechs #nastya is also part of the polymechs #the toy soldier #toy soldier

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schrijverr · 3 years

Text

Careless affection hit me hard

Five times Bertie calls Jonny ‘love’ in the British way and one time in the in love way.

AKA Jonny is a gay disaster and gets overwhelmed by any sort of affection.

On AO3.

Ships: Jonny x Bertie x Tim

Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!

I got this idea from @ohwormhere who was kind enough to let me use it, so thank you!

~~~~~~~~~

One.

Jonny was rummaging through Berties pack. He was planning to steal some booze and didn’t really care the the owner of said pack was looking right at him while he did it with one eyebrow raised and an amused look on his face.

Bertie shook his head when Jonny went on with stealing and sighed: “While you’re going through there, could you at least hand me the cards, love?”

And just like that Jonny froze.

He knew Bertie didn’t mean it like that, he’d heard him call Tim darlin’ enough for him to spot the difference in tone. Bertie was just British, he couldn't help it, probably.

But still that didn’t mean, Jonny didn’t freeze. His one hand was still in the pack, other halfway to the ground where he was about to steady himself.

Jonny only came back to life when he almost toppled over, barely catching himself and getting the attention from Bertie, Tim and TS, who were waiting on him.

“You alright there, mate?” Tim called out.

Trying to hide his furious blush, Jonny turned away, focusing on getting the cards, booze long forgotten as he replied: “I’m fine.”

Two.

The first time it had happened was still playing heavily on Jonnys mind, when the second time almost killed them all.

They were in a trench shooting in the dark, hoping that the aiming at the noises would enough to make it through the day. Jonny was, much to his dismay, on laser fuel duty, which meant keeping his hand in a crate so that he could quickly hand over ammunition and no one had stumble around in the pitch blackness.

Bertie made the sign for more ammunition and Jonny quickly handed it over, making a small noise so Bertie would know where he was.

After a bit of groping the air, Bertie found Jonnys arm. He slid his hand down to Jonnys and took the fuel with a quick: “Ah, thanks, love.”

Because of this Jonny missed The Toy Soldiers request, but luckily it would survive, well come back from, the hit in the head that followed and by the time Tim asked for fuel, Jonny was out of his stupor.

Three.

It happened again a few days later.

The Toy Soldier had heard a stupid order and, in a moment of irritation, Jonny had followed after it to tell it to come back. However, he had lost The Toy Soldier rather quickly and also the way back in the dark.

He had been trying to get back to the British front lines for a few hours already and in that time he had only found a Lunar Men stronghold. It had been a nice temporary distraction, but whatever was left hadn’t given him any clues about his position.

So, now he was just walking in a direction and hoping it was the right one. He was about halfway into a new passage when he heard a familiar voice say: “We’re not going to find them, Bertie-dear. Lets go back. You know how those two idiots can be, they’ll come back when they want to.”

“I am worried, darlin’.” another familiar voice replied, “Because I know how much of an idiot those two can be.”

Jonny wasn’t going to let that slide, so he called out: “Oi, I heard that, fucker.”

There was a momentary silence of surprise, then Tim exclaimed: “Jonny!”

The two soldiers rushed over to his voice and with a dim flashlight Bertie checked him over for injuries. When he found none, he grinned and patted Jonnys cheek: “There you go, love, all alright.”

If there hadn’t been a dim light the heat alone would have been enough to give away how much Jonny blushed at that statement. He cleared his throat and groused: “Yeah, yeah, I’m always alright, so whatever. There’s, well, there was a Lunar Men stronghold further up, we should go inform the sarge of that.”

Jonny didn’t miss Tims grin as he slung an arm around his shoulder and pulled him along while he said: “Whatever you say, Jonny.”

Four.

He thought he would be over it by the fourth time it happened, but no.

They were playing cards when Jonny slipped one out of his hand and into his sleeve replacing it with another. With a winning smile he showed his hand and started to collect his prize. However, another hand on his own stopped him.

“Oh, you’re going to regret that, love.” Bertie told him, looking him straight in the eye.

Jonny almost fainted at the sight and sound, but he managed to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat and focused on whatever it was Bertie was holding in front of him.

An ace of hearts.

Fuck, he thought to himself, that had been the exact card he had switched in order to cheat. Caught in the act, red handed.

Tims stupidly handsome face appeared in his view, with an annoy smirk on it. He jeered: “You going to move, or is Berties hand that interesting?”

“What?” Jonny asked, finally blinking.

“You’ve been sitting there staring for a while now.” Bertie told him gently, “I was getting worried about you.”

Tim leaned over Berties lap and rolled his eyes: “You worry to much, Bertie-dear. Lighten up a bit, the fucker has survived this far, little card game won’t kill him. Besides, he still needs to pay up.”

“He’s Quite Right, Ol’ Chap.” The Toy Soldier interjected, “Mx. O’Reilly Would Be Very Disappointed In That Horrifying Display Of Cheatery.”

“Sometimes, TS, I really wish you would keep you’re mouth shut, you know that?” Jonny told it, swiftly ignoring Tim, whose hair Bertie was now carding his hand through. He didn’t know who he was more jealous of and the fact that he was made him nervous.

Apparently that wouldn't sit right with Tim, Jonny suspected this was more due to the fact that Bertie shared everything with Tim, so him not paying up also affected Tim then anything else, but still.

Tim sat up and draped himself over Jonny as he told him: “Go on, be a dear and pay up, Jonny.”

He put an emphasis on dear and with one look to his face Jonny knew Tim must have noticed his reactions to the petnames, unintentional as they were. It didn’t help his case that his cheeks lit up once more, so he just shoved Tim off him with a “Piss off,” before handing Bertie the booze they had been betting.

Five.

When it happened again, Jonny knew that this time it was on purpose. It wasn’t hard to figure that one out.

The accidental endearments had stopped after the cards-incident and Jonny was already missing them, which he kind of hated himself for. Tim and Bertie were happy together and he was just being stupid over nothing.

Anyway, back to Bertie. Jonny had been waiting for another accidental ‘love’ out of Berties mouth and desperately trying to ignore Tims looks as well as the growing nervousness in his chest as if he were a blushing school girl.

It happened again in a well lit area and Bertie was watching him intently the whole time, which is how Jonny had gathered it was on purpose, making a pit appear in his stomach.

He had almost fallen over, since he wasn’t looking where he was going too busy keeping an eye on Tim, scared of what he might do with the information Jonny knew he had.

Bertie luckily caught him before he befriended the floor and made a fool out of himself. He looked Jonny in the eye earnestly and asked: “You alright, love?”

The effect was immediate, much to Jonnys horror. His cheeks turned into roses, and it crept over his nose, down to his neck as he stuttered an affirmation.

All the while, Bertie was cataloging his reactions like he was merely an interesting animal at the zoo instead of a soldier in a very dangerous situation, namely on the brink of being found out about his stupid feelings that he didn’t want anyone to know about.

He saw Bertie take a breath, probably to let him down gently and Jonny didn’t want to hear it, he couldn't take it. So he snatched his arm back out of Berties grip and hightailed out of there.

“Well that went shit.” he heard Tim say in the background, making him increase his pace.

+ One.

The problem with dramatically stomping away in a small war camp is that there aren’t many places to go and if he wanted a comfortable place to sleep, he would have to face Tim and Bertie once more.

He’d contemplated to just leave and try to find The Toy Soldier, who had gotten lost again to the other side, but thought better of it. He couldn't leave Bertie and Tim without his protection.

So, after he had sulked alone and had come to terms to the embarrassing rejection he would have to face eventually, he made his way back to their tent.

Tim and Bertie were already sitting in front of it and Tim lit up once he saw him and waved. Bertie perked up as well and smiled and waved too. Embarrassed and confused Jonny waved back softly, before making his way over.

Arriving he looked to the ground and scuffed his foot in the moon sand, biting his lip as he waited for the verbal impact of words slung his way.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset or uncomfortable, I swear.” Bertie began after a few seconds of silence.

Jonny head snapped up with a frown and he said: “I was going to say that.”

“What, why?” Bertie asked.

Beside him Tim facepalmed and groaned: “I thought I explained that to you. God, you are both so stupid.”

“Hey!” Jonny exclaimed indignantly, jabs from Tim were at least more familiar territory.

“Not helping, Tim, this is exactly why I am doing the talking.” Bertie told him, then he turned to Jonny, “Just ignore him. What I meant to ask is: why you would say that?”

“Why do you want to know?” Jonny asked, suspicious the moment he realized the other two had planned this conversation, even if that shouldn’t really come as a surprise seeing that they were together and had discovered he was crushing on them.

“Because you didn’t do anything to make us- uhm, me uncomfortable and if the reason is what we expect it is then I can tell you it’s alright.” Bertie explained gently.

“What reason do you expect?” Jonny asked, still on guard, since he suspected the something they suspected, but that seemed insane and out of reach.

“Well,” Bertie began carefully, “if I am correct, and do tell me if I’m not, but if I am correct it would seem that the logical conclusion from the evidence is that-”

“Oh my god, just hurry the fuck up. Ugh!” Tim groaned, “We think you like him and maybe even me or you have the most serious case of touch starvation I have ever seen and then I will give you a hug right now, in both cases actually.”

Jonnys eyes grew wide, both were dead on. Was he really that easy to read? He wondered faintly, before the blood rushing to his head took over and all he could say was: “Ah- uh- oh- uhm- yeah- well- you see- uhm. Yes?”

“Yes?” Bertie asked.

“Uhm, yes, to- to both- or all, I guess?” Jonny stammered once he had regained a bit more coherency.

“Oh, come here, love.” the tone was different, Jonny heard instantly how it sounded more like Tims darlin’ than before. Bertie held his arms open and Jonny just collapsed in them. It seemed almost unreal that this was where this whole debacle had lead, right to the safety of strong arms and a soothing hand on his back.

He felt Tim draping himself over his back, before he whispered in his ear: “I knew you cared, sweetheart.”

The blush on Jonnys face increased in heat once more, but he didn’t deny it. Why would he, when he knew Tim and Bertie cared too?

#RR writing #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Jonny d'Ville #bertie (the mechs)#bertie x tim x jonny #Bertie x gunpowder Tim x Jonny d'ville #gunpowder tim #the toy soldier

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schrijverr · 3 years

Text

Tight

Jonny gets pulled into a fox-hole by Bertie and Tim, who do not know he’s claustrophobic. They try to keep him calm during the attack and he confesses that he is immortal. They still love him

On AO3.

Ships: Bertie x Jonny x Tim

Warnings: claustrophobia, panick attack, war & Jonnys low self esteem. Tell me if I missed something or if you want me to tag anything!

~~~~~~~~~~~

The alarms started to blare above them, a microwave attack.

Bertie and Tim quickly looked around for a fox-hole and started to pull Jonny along, who cursed himself as he tried to get free, but the others were both taller and stronger, so his struggling was to no avail.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to survive, he’d died enough times from such an attack to know it was unpleasant, it was more that he would much rather die than go into a fox-hole. You see, Jonny was claustrophobic and being stuck in a small space for a few minutes seemed like hell.

If it were any other day he would sneak off with The Toy Soldier, claiming they would hide together, while in reality it kept watch by his corpse until he was revived.

However, The Toy Soldier had disappeared a few months back and last Jonny heard of it, it was on its way to become Field Marshall, which was good for it. But bad for Jonny, since he was now here, getting pulled into a fox-hole that was not really made for three by Tim and Bertie.

Tim and Bertie had quickly caught on to his unwillingness, so he was situated between them, while they held onto him to stop him from leaving.

“What the hell, Jonny.” Tim said, “Why would you fight? You can die out there.”

Jonny didn’t respond, instead he was trying to focus on his breathing and trying to ignore how small the space was and how easily he could suffocate. He anxiously started to drum his fingers against his leg and humming the first song that came to mind.

“Is that- is that the recruiter song?” Tim asked perplexed when it was the only response to his question.

He was at Jonnys back while Bertie was in front of him, so Tim couldn't see the panicked expression on his face in the dim alarm light of the fox-hole, but Bertie could. He asked: “Hey, are you alright, Jonny?”

Jonny gave an affirming but stressed hum, before he squeaked: “Jup, completely fine me, never better.”

Well, that was obviously a lie. The worry in the other two grew as the tapping and humming continued. Bertie remembered how Jonny had melted that one time Tim got a knot out of his hair, so he tentatively reached up and carded a hand through Jonnys hair.

Immediately the slight bouncing stopped, they hadn’t even noticed Jonny was doing it until it stopped, and the tapping slowed down.

Bertie continued petting Jonnys hair, while he asked: “It’s okay, it’s okay. Can you tell us what’s wrong? What set you off like that?”

It was silent for a moment and Tim and Bertie were just starting to think Jonny wouldn't answer at all, when he whispered: “Is so tight and small.”

“The fox-hole?” Tim asked.

They could feel the small nod against their chests as Jonny started to tremble and humming louder.

Bertie picked up the petting again while Tim tried to make Jonnys tense shoulders relax for a bit. He whispered: “It’s alright, Jonny-love, it’s okay. It’ll be over before you know it, just breathe and relax, okay. You did this before, you can-”

“No.”

“No?” Tim repeated.

“I’ve not done this before.” Jonny admitted, to hell with trying to seem normal to keep them by his side. If they really loved him as much as they said, they wouldn't mind immortality, right?

“What makes you say that, dear?” Bertie asked, “I know for a fact that this is not your first microwave attack.”

Jonny took a shaky breath and said: “Remember how I always joke I’m immortal?”

He didn’t dare to look up and see what expressions the other two wore as they told him they both remembered the jokes.

“Well, they’re not really jokes. I, uhm, I usually just die during these because it’s better than having to be locked into one of these.” Jonny explained.

It was quiet for a moment, when neither reacted Jonny got worried and started babbling: “I know I probably should have told you both and I swear I was gonna, but then I thought maybe you’d be mad at me and I don’t want you to be mad at me, but now I’m stuck in here and that’s really not good for me, because small spaces are fucking terrifying and I would rather die than deal with this, literally, it’s not like it matters if I die anyway, you kn-”

“Oh my poor dear.” Bertie breathed out, “That’s not- that’s not- oh no.”

“Wha?” Jonny was confused.

“Just let him process for a moment, Jonny-love.” Tim kissed the top of his head.

“Is he mad?” Jonny asked fearfully.

“No, of course not, he’s just coming to terms with the fact that you died painfully each time while we thought you were safe with TS, it’s not healthy to do that, darling.” Tim explained, “I’m also not entirely pleased with that fact, but I get why you did it.”

“But I get back, so it’s not an issue, right?” Jonny sounded confused, which broke Tims heart.

“Just because you get back doesn’t mean it isn’t painful, dear.” Bertie joined the conversation, “You shouldn’t let yourself be killed and get hurt, because you can take it. God, can I- can I hug you right now?”

“Please.” Jonnys voice broke a bit.

Immediately two arms were around him, it was a bit hard to maneuver since it was such a cramped space, something Jonny was trying very hard to ignore. So far the stress of being rejected and kicked out had partly overridden his claustrophobia, but with that soothed, it came back with full force.

A small sob made its way out of his throat before he could stop it and once he had started it was hard to stop.

Tim and Bertie just held him while he cried and waited for this all to be over. He wanted to be out of here, he wanted to be held and he just wanted everything to be okay again. His gasped trying to get enough air into his lungs, but it wasn’t really working.

Bertie loosened his grip and asked: “Am I holding you too tight?”

“N- no,” Jonny sniffled, “rather know it’s you than no space, you’re comfy.”

He burrowed his face into Berties chest and held on tight to the others uniform, behind him Tim was massaging his neck, his soft reassuring whispers slightly frantic.

Jonny was sure he was going to explode from exhaustion or stress when the alarm light turned off, signaling the attack was over. He nearly collapsed in relief, but just as he was about to climb out of the fox-hole they heard some shots being fired.

“I’m so sorry about this, love.” he heard Tim whisper behind him, as he stopped Jonny from getting out and put a hand over his mouth.

The hand was a good call, because Jonny terrified cry was muffled by it. Tim never felt like such a bad person than in that moment, holding the small trembling form of Jonny as he refused to let him get out.

Seconds seemed to pass like hours as the fighting moved above them, first right on top and then further along. The moment he deemed it safe, Tim released Jonny and helped him get out as fast as he could.

Bertie and he climbed out after him and rubbed his back soothingly as he sat on hands and knees gasping for air desperately and crying softly.

“I’m so sorry, Jonny-love, I’m so so so sorry about that, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Tim whispered.

Beside him Bertie said: “It’s okay, dear, it’s all over, you made it, it’s done, you don’t have to go back, you’re done.”

It seemed to last an eternity, before Jonny had calmed down enough to be able to talk. He swallowed a few times, then croaked: “I’m okay, I’m fine, just tired.”

Tim immediately offered him his canteen with water, a guilt pressing down on him. Jonny took it gratefully and drank a few huge gulps, before Bertie grabbed it from him and asked: “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” Jonny mumbled, then he added, “And still a bit freaked, honestly.”

“Do you want to sit for a moment?” Bertie asked.

Jonny answered and they just sat silently in the sand of the moon for a few moments, leaning against the side of the tunnel with Jonny between them. He was still humming slightly, but he seemed less tense with every passing second.

“I’m sorry about that.” Tim broke the silence after a while.

“Wha?” Jonny asked, confused.

“Well, I forced you into that fox-hole and then held you there, it’s my fault you had to go through that, so sorry.” Tim explained.

If it weren’t pitch dark, Tim could have seen Jonny blush quite heavily as he replied: “You just wanted to keep me safe, it’s my own fault I didn’t tell you both about the whole immortality thing.”

“Yeah, we’re still going to talk about that when you feel better.” Bertie said, “It’s not okay that you think you can just die all the time just because you get back. It matters to me that you die and I’m going to make sure you don’t think your life isn’t worth that much.”

“I second that.” Tim agreed, before Jonny could interject with some sort of self-deprecating comment.

“But lets get you back to camp safely first, okay.” Bertie said more lighthearted.

“Here, I’ll carry you.” Tim offered.

“I just told you I’m immortal, you’d think that you’d understand that I should be the one protecting you two.” Jonny grumbled, not accepting the piggy-back ride.

“And you just had a panic attack, so I think we’re justified. Now, just accept Tims offer and lets get going, I think I still have a bit of booze left back at camp.” Bertie replied.

Well, Jonny couldn’t really say no to that, beside getting carried and cared for for a bit sounded really appealing right now. He could let his guard down for a moment, he was safe here with them. It was going to be okay.

#RR writing #The Mechanisms #the mechs #jonny #gunpowder tim #bertie (the mechs)#bertie x tim x jonny #Bertie x gunpowder Tim x Jonny d'ville #tw: claustrophobia #tw: panic attack #jonnys low self esteem #tw: war

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