#jizzed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batsarebetterthanpeople · 2 years

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just for you: calicobeardhands

Awe thx. Because I lack enrichment in my enclosure and you have given me a throuple I will give you four for the price of one.

I've seen this ship called both Jizzed and Jizzybeard. I prefer Jizzybeard because I'm a freak and it conjures an image

Then because every ship gets better when you remove Izzy, Calicobeard

(when I say I want what they have I am joking)

And just to round it out Calicohands, or Cjizzy if ya nasty

And Blackhands.... I didn't expect this one to get a bingo but it got two. I have a lot of thoughts about them

#no longer seeking my stede bonnet to love me #i am currently searching for my calico jack to get me black out drunk and give me a treatable std #chu i am so sorry but im unhinged #ofmd #our flag means death #Calicohands #blackhands #jizzy beard #Calicobeard #jizzed #ship bingo

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xekstrin · 1 month

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Just making sure everyone saw this

Source: https://twitter.com/minnnnnnnim/status/1784861999051977196

#arknights #Lappland looks like shes already on the verge of jizzing her pants bc she knows she gets to fuck on the bloody table after this #And her chances are [glances at Giovanna] well two out of three aint bad #sora boiling over with rage because these guys interrupted her date with her mafia girlfriends #but she has too much media training to scowl so she just 🫥#JOEKS ASIDE: THE DETAIL OF THEM ALL HOLDING BLUE ROSES FOR TEXAS #AND LAPPLAND HAS BLOOD ON HERS #and texas hand on her weapon #going insane in the membrane #insane in the brain #lappsora

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zackshausofbulge · 4 months

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Going to a bukkake party wish me luck ❤️🦁

#im not getting jizzed on unfortunately

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veeisqueer · 5 months

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Jimmy Stop you have enough husband's/partners/Boyfriends/lovers

And Jimmy talking about BigBs hole. Bro needs to chill. /Hj

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the-real-list-of-ominous-threats · 8 months

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I'm going to force you to speak only using star wars terms instead of the normal terms. no more 'fuck you' only 'kriff off'.

#no more 'oh shit' it's 'dark farrik' or 'oh kark' or 'poodoo'#ALSO THE STAR WARS TERM FOR JAZZ MUSICIAN IS APPARENTLY 'JIZZ WAILER' I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP #no more 'paper' it's flimsiplast #no concrete only duracrete (or permacrete). no glass only transparasteel #no more tablets only datapads.#phones? never heard of her. Comlinks.#clocks? what's that I use a chronometer #flash drives? NO. Datastick.#read the tags #star wars #fabric? You mean nanoweave?#pocket knife/tactical knife? NO. Vibroblade.

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haunted-plush · 3 months

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Yesterday I got bored and decided to read some of the reviews for KinitoPET, and I found some real gems in there

Kinito being silly

Folks being horny for Kinito

And horny in general

Soiled pants and incomprehensible nonsense

...minesweeper

#kinitopet #kinito the axolotl #suggestive #just putting it in there for all the jizz/horny talk #tw drug mention

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sciderman · 2 months

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i just reread all of ask spiderpool and ANITA AND OLIVE?!??!? HELLOOOO?!!?!! i forgot how mudh i love them. Also with the confirmation that olive’s dress is made of his webs, does that make the dress made of jizz??

yeah. yep. the dress is made out of jizz.

#sci speaks #it's not really a dress. but it is made out of jizz.

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dontyoulistentome · 10 months

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Still trying to process the fact that Kiriona's rival in love is technically her dad's ex. What the actual fuck.

#this series is wild #the origin of 'jizz heist'#where the hell does muir pull these interdimensional ideas from #kiriona gaia #gideon nav #john gaius #alecto #griddlehark #tlt spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #harrowhark nonagesimus

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thegoldenphig · 6 months

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Can't stop thinking about this picture of Dan and Phil escorting a drunk Anthony to his hotel room at Vidcon 2013

#dan and phil #anthony padilla #Anthony probably rethinks this now lmao #so dan already jizzed all over his calendar by this point #/j!!#danthony

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best-fictional-band-poll · 2 months

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Steven and the Crystal Gems are classic tumblr favs, but can they win against the cantina band from Star Wars? Steven stands for friendship and the power of love, but a vote for Max Rebo is a vote for jizz!

#steven & the crystal gems #steven universe #Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers #max rebo #star wars #Round 2

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killerwithknife · 1 month

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julian “give your girlfriend a gun if she’s into guns” casablancas

#sorry that this is the worst screenshot Ever.#I’m jizzing my pants btw #sorry

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godlizzza · 6 months

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ok what's going on with hoffman's face while strahm is trying to pry the coffin open?

#man looks like he just jizzed himself #saw #mark hoffman

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drivinmeinsane · 7 months

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Thoughts on Officer KD6-3.7 as a romantic partner

It takes K a long time to confront his own feelings about you, much less say it out loud. He was worried that if he acknowledged the love he feels for you, he would be irreparably changed, never close to baseline again. He wasn’t wrong. To love and to be loved in return is to be changed.

He uses terms of endearment for you more than he uses your name. It helps to make his dreams of serene domesticity more of a reality. “sweetheart”, “darling”, and “honey” are his go-tos. The first time you called him by a pet name, he stopped dead in his tracks, completely overwhelmed. It gives him a sense of humanity, of belonging, when you call by something kind.

K would never miss a special date. He’ll even go so far as to make up his own milestones and celebrations as an excuse to do something nice for you when the mood strikes. It’s your anniversary today? Sure, of the twentieth Tuesday you’ve known him.

The replicant is touch starved. Even simple brushes of your hand against his or grazes of your bodies together when you move past one another is enough to bring him leaning into your space, chasing the sensation. It is not something he seems to have control over.

He's more comfortable being touched than being the one to touch. He’s not accustomed to being allowed to initiate contact with no orders or with implied permission. Once K overcomes that barrier, he can hardly keep his hands off of you. He places lingering hands on your arms, brushes his fingers over your palm, winds your hair around his fingers, anything at all to feel something tangible and remind himself that you are here with him.

He wants so badly to be real for you. In his worst moments, he’s worried that he won’t ever be enough, that his status as a replicant makes him lesser, not worthy of your affections. His fears lead him to believe that you would prefer an organic partner.

K often tells you that you don’t have to be nice to him, that you don’t have to treat him with the care and tenderness that you do. He can’t seem to fathom that you actually want him. He doesn’t have anything to offer you but himself and that’s hardly worth having, isn’t it?

He would do anything within the realm of his capabilities for you. You are the most important thing in his existence. He wishes he were not a despised pet tethered to the LAPD. He wishes he could leave without becoming what he retires.

He reads to you. It takes his mind off the work day. The apartment isn’t filled with many books, but you enjoy each of them because the time he spends reading out loud is soothing for the both of you. His steady voice lulls you into a relaxed state from where he reads in his chair as you sit on the couch with his feet resting on your lap. His voice gets rougher and deeper when you trace nonsensical patterns over his legs.

While he’s not supposed to take items from crime scenes, he does it anyway, slipping them into the pockets on the inside of his coat. He comes home and shows what he has taken to you with the earnest hope that you will enjoy the meager offering. He can’t afford to give you much, but he can do this.

He always looks at you like you’re going to disappear. His eyes scan you like a data screen any chance he gets. He’s memorizing everything about you with each pass of his eyes. He holds those observations close for fear they’ll be all he has left of you. He doesn’t get to keep things. He doesn’t get to own anything that can’t be taken away. He’s a possession himself.

18+ content under the cut.

His cum is bio-luminescent. In the dark, it glows a pretty blue to match his eyes. It's another reminder that K is not quite human.

He's nervous about sexual contact due to past experiences and trauma. You're one of the very few people that he's actually wanted to be intimate with. He’s firm, almost aggressive, in bed. He’s starved for physical intimacy for so long, that he longs to feast, to make up for the absence.

K firmly believes that he is a tool. He is made to give, not to receive, so it surprises him every time when you want to bring him pleasure for the sake of it. The novelty of receiving a blow job or something that focuses solely on him never wears off.

He has a breeding kink. He knows it's impossible for him to get anyone pregnant, but it's nice to occasionally lose himself in the fantasy of being real enough to make it happen.

If Joi is an active participant in your lives, one thing that really gets him off is engaging in sex with you while Joi is activated. Her being there to murmur encouraging things to the both of you, dictating how you should touch each other, gets him cumming embarrassingly fast.

{ m a s t e r l i s t }

#blade runner 2049 #blade runner #br2049 #officer k #kd6-3.7 #officer k imagines #blade runner 2049 headcanons #officer k headcanons #ryan gosling character #my posts #my work #just to put it out there. i've been referring to k's uh.... release as glozz (glow jizz)#it's been knocking around in my head ever since wrote the driver/ken fic that mentioned ken's glizz (glitter jizz)

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