Can I kiss you?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 1]

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Ao3

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“—so sorry! I swear I didn’t mean to kill him! It was an accident! He just jumped me out of nowhere and I have had bad experiences with clowns in the past so when I saw it was a clown trying to kidnap me I kinda just panicked and punched him! I swear, dude, I didn’t mean to hit him so hard—“

Jason, much too calmly, likely in some form of shock, rises from the crouched-down position he had been in to check the clown corpse’s pulse.

He had seen the poor, still rambling, twink getting grabbed from a distance and was about to step in as Red Hood, not even having been aware it was the Joker who —shouldn’t he have been in Arkham? There has been no announcement of him breaking out yet— had grabbed the guy until he had run close enough to the scene.

Which was after the guy had already been startled so badly by the Joker trying to kidnap him that he sucker punched the Joker into the wall of the alley so hard the clown died.

Said twink then realized what he had done and that he had a witness, that witness being Red Hood himself, and had started his frenzied speech on how it was an accident and to please don’t take him to jail he’s only just started his scholarship at Gotham U. and he can’t have murder on his track record yet.

Breathless, Jason looks at the nervous twink in front of him, who's still trying to plead his case, and who just obliterated the Joker with a punch.

Before his brain can catch up to his mouth, he’s already cutting the distressed monologuing off.

“Can I kiss you?” He blurts out.

Danny, taken off guard, breaks out of his panicked—oh, Ancients, I just killed someone— stupor and lets out a startled laugh.

“Take me out to dinner first” came the automatic joking reply, Danny still largely in shock of what he did.

Jason, either not picking up on the joking tone or ignoring it, nods seriously, already trying to come up with the best place for a dinner date with the cute twink to thank him for his service to the city.

Danny, who has calmed down slightly by now, glances between the red-helmed vigilante and the clown corpse. His gaze lands on Red Hood and he hesitantly speaks up again.

“So, uh, what happens now? Do I need to go to the station to make a statement orrrr?” He pauses awkwardly.

Jason, who’s still trying to figure out whether the Bat Burger would be a good place for a first date or not, doesn’t reply.

“I’ve got school in the morning and I only have like,” he pauses to check his phone for the time, “3 more hours before I have to be up for my first lesson. Soooo, I’m just gonna go. That cool?”

Again, he waits for a reply. But it doesn’t come.

“Right. Cool cool. Uh, see you later? Mr. Red Hood dude sir?” Danny gives a clumsy and awkward salute before turning tail and speed-walking away.

It’s not until 30 minutes later, once Jason has finally decided on the perfect place to take the guy to dinner to, that he realizes the twink is gone.

Fuck, he forgot to ask for the guy’s name.

…

And number.

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

HOLY SHIT IS THAT [ AVAN JOGIA ]?! Oh, wait it’s just [ AARON HUMMEL ]. Damn, [ HE ] looks good for [ 22 ], good thing that they’re [ BISEXUAL ], I might have a chance. I hear that they call them the [ MISCREANT ] of the [ SOUTH SIDE ]. I guess that’s because they’re [ SELFISH ] and [ DISRUPTIVE ]. But I don’t think a lot of people know that they’re also [ CHARISMATIC ] and [ PROTECTIVE ]. Can’t wait to see what kind of trouble [ LOGAN/25/CST ] will bring.

01.  BASICS

Full Name: Aaron James Hummel

Nickname: A, A A Ron, Assron, Hummel, Ghoulie King, Ronny {no longer in use}

Sex/Gender: Cismale

Birthday: October 31st, 1996

Age: 22

Astrological Sign: Scorpio

Occupation: Stripper at the Ho Zone

Spoken Languages: English and ASL

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Birthplace: Greendale

Relationship status: Single

02. PHYSICAL TRAITS

Hair Color/Style: Black, shoulder length, occasionally in a ponytail.

Eye Color: Dark Brown

Face Claim: Avan Jogia

Height: 5′10

Weight: 168lbs.

Tattoos: Ghoulie tattoo on his left forearm

Piercings: Both earlobes and helix on his right ear

Unique Attributes: Birthmark on his back

Defining Gestures/Movements: He cracks his knuckles pretty often

Posture: Shitty

03. PERSONALITY TRAITS

Pet Peeves: People who walk slow and snitches.

Hobbies/Interests: Filming and guitar playing

Special Skills/Abilities: Sneaky

Likes: Onion rings, drinking, parties, spicy food, messing around on his guitar, getting gifts

Dislikes: Being wrong, Burt Hummel, vegetables, tea

Insecurities: Being given up at age 5

Quirks/Eccentricities: Aaron messes with his hair a lot

Strengths: Persistent, persuasive, clever, confident

Weaknesses: Stubborn, selfish, and rude

Speaking Style: Bored but casual

Temperament: He can go from 0-100 real quick, it’s pretty easy to set him off.

04. FAMILY & HOME

Immediate Family: Burt Hummel (Adoptive Father), Elizabeth Hummel (Adoptive Mother), Kurt Hummel (Adoptive Brother)

How do they feel about their family? Aaron loved Elizabeth and always will, Burt and him don’t get along though. Ever since he ran away, their conversations have only been between a gang member and the Sheriff of Riverdale. With Kurt, he always claimed to hate him along with any other Northsider, but he loves his older brother and always enjoys talking to him.

How does their family feel about them? Elizabeth and him were very close, Burt wishes his son would stop being a gang leader and come home, but he’s starting to be past that point. Kurt and him get along really well

Pets: None, he’s considered getting a cat but doesn’t really have the time to take care of one.

Where do they live? Southside apartment

Description of their home: One Bedroom apartment. Very, VERY, cluttered, Aaron has never seen a broom in his life. Dishes are seldom in the cupboards, usually just stacked in the sink and he’ll rinse them to use from there. 

Description of their bedroom: Messy. He has a guitar stand with a guitar near his bed, often there are empty liquor bottles around.

05. THIS OR THAT

Introvert or Extrovert?

Optimist or Pessimist?

Leader or Follower?

Confident or Self-Conscious?

Cautious or Careless?

Religious or Secular?

Passionate or Apathetic?

Book Smarts or Street Smarts?

Compliments or Insults?

Pajamas or Lingerie?

06. FAVORITES

Favorite Color: Blue

Favorite Clothing Style/Outfit: He wears his Ghoulie jacket most of the time. He dresses fairly casual, jeans, and old black boots.

Favorite Bands/Songs/Type of Music: A lot of classic rock, ACDC, Led Zepplin, Queen, that kind of thing

Favorite Movies: The Shining, The Sixth Sense, Get Out, Seven, Silence of the Lambs, Black Swan, really any horror movie. Documentaries, especially ones about serial killers, and secretly, he does like Mamma Mia

Favorite Books: Historical fiction, i.e, The Book Thief

Favorite Foods/Drinks: Pizza, wine, and onion rings

Favorite Sports/Sports Teams: N/A

Favorite Time of Day: Morning

Favorite Weather/Season: Winter

Favorite Animal: Elephant.

07. MISCELLANEOUS

Fears/Superstitions: He’s afraid that he’s holding onto resentment for parents that really did want him but circumstances got the best of everyone. Also ghosts

Political Views: Anarchist

Addictions: Alcohol, it’s better than it used to be but he’s still a mess

Best School Subject: History

Worst School Subject: Math

School Clubs/Sports: Being one of the school sluts

How does he get money? Working at the Ho Zone as a stripper

How is he with technology? Fairly decent

08. PAST & FUTURE

Fondest Memory: Getting adopted

Deepest, Darkest Secret: During a fight when he was 20, he beat some Southside asshole to a pulp and left him in some alley behind a bar. The next night he realized he had no idea if the guy ever made it or not. Aaron might have some unknown guys blood on his hands and he has no idea.

Dream Vacation: Bahamas

Best thing that has ever happened to this character: Meeting the Ghoulies after he ran away from the Hummels at 14.

Worst thing that has ever happened to this character: Bio parents giving him up and Elizabeth dying

What do they want to be when they grow up? Secretly, a director in Hollywood

Perfect Date: A bed and wine, movies optional.

09. HEADCANONS

Aaron spent a year at the orphanage in Greendale after his mother and father dropped them off there. He only had one best friend the entire time he was there, Jason, but he got adopted a few months before Aaron did.

It was love at first sight with Elizabeth and Aaron. He immediately hung off of every word she spoke, and he couldn’t have asked for a better mother. He liked Kurt and Burt too, was excited to have an older brother to look up to.

Elizabeth’s death a year after hit Aaron hard. He felt as though he was losing another family, scared Burt would bring him back to the orphanage. Of course that didn’t happen and Burt did his best for the boys, picking up more shifts at the station, leaving Kurt, though still young, in a leadership role around home. 

When Burt was promoted to Sheriff, Aaron was 14 and things were already tough between them at home, constantly butting heads and fighting, so Aaron decided to grab his belongings and leave in the middle of the night, not knowing where he’d end up. This was the last night he would have spoken to his father without the uniform.

Despite that Aaron claimed to all the Ghoulies and any other Southsiders who’d listen that he hated the Northside, he kept in contact with his brother in secret. Sure, he hated Burt, but Kurt was his brother and he probably needed him. He was the closest thing to his mom he’d ever have.

Aaron was a school slut during high school, he had no interest in trying when it came to doing his classwork and he barely graduated, not that he really cared.

Meet Jason

(bio under the cut)

General Information:

Name: Jason

Nickname, if any: J, JD (don’t call him that but it’s a nickname people have tried to use)

Gender: male

Sexuality: straight

Birthday and Age: December 29th, 46

Ethnic background: Welsh, German, Icelandic

Religion: none

City they currently live in: Chicago, IL

Any pets: cat named Hypons tho it’s his daughter’s cat that sort of just lives with him

Current occupation: cop/agent

Past occupations: none

Current partner: none

Children: Isabelle (Izzy)

Physical Appearance:

Height: 5′10

Weight: somewhere around 190?

Body type: surprisingly muscular but doesn’t look it with layers of clothes on

Eye color: grey/blue

Glasses/Contacts/Hearing aids if any: glasses

Skin tone: white, but usually tans really easily in the summer

Scars/Freckles/Birth marks/Tattoos: C’est La Vie tattoo on his forearm, countless number of scars, one right above his c’est la vie tattoo on his wrist

Clothing style: “typical dad”, dark coloured jeans like dark blue and black, sometimes regular blue jeans that are super distressed, sweaters and crew neck sweatshirts with button ups underneath, sometimes just button ups with the top button undid, sometimes super lazy and just a t-shirt and flannel/button up, leather jackets sometimes canvas ones, black hiking boots or all black Converse (there’s no in between with him). Even wears long sleeves when working out

Accessories: glasses, watch, pinky ring, belt

Hairstyle: dark brown with some grey hairs intermixed, partially receding, sort of got a five head going, hair is on the shorter side, kinda floppy, perfect for running a hand through it to calm him down (thus the receding hairline)

Speech/Language/Communication:

First language: English

Learned languages: self taught basic Spanish and French

Accent: doesn’t really have one?

Pitch of voice: medium? baritone 

Behavior/Habits:

Spending habits: necessities, booze, and books. that’s it, he’s a simple man who doesn’t need much

Morning routine: alarm goes off and hits the snooze, another alarm goes off a few minutes later and finally gets up, showers, usually just puts pants on after the shower, makes coffee, then puts shirt(s) on, puts coffee in mug, then walks to work

Bedtime routine: usually ends up reading till he passes out, sometimes watches 24 and just falls asleep on the couch, 9/10 times forgets to take his glasses off, usually wakes up to properly go to bed when his daughter’s cat wakes him up when he demands pets

Nervous habits: bites his lip when he’s bored, runs a hand through his hair a lot, chews on pen caps, leg shaking

Bad habits: smokes, can’t keep a straight sleep schedule, workaholic, terrible with handling stress, doesn’t monitor his health well (if his daughter didn’t remind him he’d be lost)

Skills/talents: fast learner, quick on his feet, excellent bullshitter, great marksman, observant

Hobbies: reading, binge watching 24 on cable and other action movies, that’s pretty much about it

The Past: Part of his contract with the agency he works with is that he needed to forget his past and move on

Home town:

Happy or sad childhood:

Earliest memory: 

Saddest memory:

Happiest memory

Significant childhood events

Family: Gave up everything about his family. His only family now is his daughter

Mother

Father

Siblings

Grandparents

Cousins

Relationships:

Friends: work friends... that’s about it

Best friend: his therapist Eli, his daughter Izzy, Izzy’s gf Holly, *later on* Taren

What do people like about them: loyal as fuck

What do people dislike about them: such a smartass and kinda a weird recluse

Enemies: anyone he’s told to take out, sometimes his boss

Mortal enemy: his ex-wife

Mentality/Personal Beliefs:

Phobias: losing his daughter, loud noises, big dogs

Mental illnesses: undecided as of right now

Optimist or pessimist: depends, mostly a pessimist

Personal philosophies: put others before yourself, do the job right, be a better person than you were last week

Biggest wish: to get his tracker implant out and just sort of move to a cabin in the woods by himself and maybe a cat or three

Biggest dream: stop being a fucking asshole to everyone he works with and just suck it up and deal with it

Political party: independent

Greatest strength: does what he’s told no matter what, always honors his word. 

Biggest flaw: super reserved and keeps to himself a lot. it takes a long while to break through his shell but when he does you know he trusts you so don’t fuck that up

Regrets: lots of them but learned from them and has grown from them

Achievements: not dying when he tried to kill himself, going from the kid trying to escape from the agency to the best agent they have, being a good father

Secrets: a slave to the agency, the agency tracks his every move in case he decides to run and they need to drag his ass back

Goals: doesn’t kill himself to get out of the agency, maybe find friends?, grow as a person, maybe start dating again *doubtful but that doesn’t mean Izzy won’t try to set him up with someone*

Likes/Favorites:

Favorite food: stir fry

Favorite color: teal

Favorite drink: ice tea *but only when he stares directly at Taren and watches the veins on his forehead pop out*

Favorite book: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John le Carré 

Favorite movie: Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark

Favorite song: ‘Hold the Line’ by Toto

Favorite game: solitaire 

Face Claim: Christian Slater 

Something About Her

Chapter Two: Lyndsey and reader anticipate their first date.

Notes: Enjoy! I hope you like!

“You fucking what?”

It was late Saturday morning, just passed 11, and you and Jason had met up at the gym. It was always something you looked forward to. A good workout provided you with a peace of mind that you knew you always needed. That, and it just felt fucking good. But this time, you hated yourself for going. You and Lyndsey have been texting nonstop since last night, and somehow Jason had a feeling that something had happened, and you may have let it all slip during a set of bench presses. And Jason’s now turning it into something extra.

“Jesus Christ,” You hissed. “Could you keep it down?”

Jason looked offended, “No? You got a girls number? At a fucking cemetery? This is the best thing that’s happened since that time you hooked up with that one girl from Zumies? I’m so proud of you?” He grabbed your shoulders and beamed. A girl with a high ponytail next to the hand weights looked over her shoulder, and gave you an inviting look. Your ears flushed.

You socked Jason in the arm, “Shut the fuck up, I swear to God, I’m never telling you anything about my life ever again.” Your muscle tank stuck to your sides, and you pulled it up to wipe the beads of sweat off of your face. You preceded to flip Jason off just before smiling apologetically at the ponytail girl. She returned it with more interest than you’d like, and then dropped her eyes to your ass.

Thankfully, your phone dinged. And thankfully, it was a text from Lyndsey, and you got out of awkwardly having to start up a conversation with a girl you were not interested in.

L: I know our date isn’t until later tonight but I seriously can’t stop thinking about how good it’s going to be(:

The smiley at the end of the text made your heart flutter. You type out a response.

Y/N: I can’t wait to actually see you

“Is that Lyndsey?” You look back to Jason, his eyes wiggling excitedly as you two walk out of the gym and into the parking lot. You beep your car unlocked.

“Even if it was, do you think I’d tell you?”

Another text from Lyndsey announces itself, but you don’t look at it.

“Hey�� Y/N. Look, this is fucking great, okay? This is good for you. Getting out, meeting cute girls? You’ve been locked up in your goddamn room, lost in your goddamn mind because of B, and I just…. I want you to be happy, man. I’m just looking out for you.” This time, his words were sincere, and you knew all of them to be true. Ever since Blake passed, you hadn’t really been yourself. It was like there was an emptiness that you couldn’t fill, and nothing seemed to make you want to get up and live life. She was your life. And she was taken from you… Way too soon. 22. Gone. In a blink of a fucking eye, and it’s like nothing meant anything anymore. She was your best friend, and the love of your life, and you never had the chance to tell her how you felt. It killed you. It still kills you. And it didn’t fully hit you until this moment that it may have affected Jason. And that killed you too.

You let out a sigh, “Fuck. I’m sorry, Jace…. God, I’m the fucking worst. I love you.” You could feel your face getting hot. “I know that you’re here for me, and I’m eternally grateful for you, dude. I hope you know that. But, seriously? When I’m willing to talk to you about Lyndsey, I’ll talk. But I barely know her myself, and the thought of going on a date with her is…. I’m actually, honestly, shitting myself. And I haven’t felt this giddy since… Yeah, okay, probably since Maddie from Zumies. I don’t know… There’s something about her.”

Jason smiled, unlocking his white Jeep that was parked next to your beat-up Subaru. “Dude…. Whatever she’s doing, or hasn’t done just yet, it’s getting you to fucking smile. And that’s all I fucking care about. Now.. ” Jason pulls a hoodie out of his Jeep, and throws it over his head, “Let’s hug this out quick before this gets too sappy, and I regret talking about it.”

You met Jason back in high school. You had just been dubbed captain of the girls’ soccer team when you were officially invited to your first high school party. Everyone didn’t seem to mind that you were as gay as they came, especially after a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven with the most popular girl in school, and soon-to-be Homecoming Queen, Jamie Felton. It was the highlight of your Sophomore year. After that night, Jason came to you with open arms, and a friendship you never knew to be possible. He’s the brother you had always wanted, and the two of you have been inseparable ever since.

After squeezing Jason tight, you wave him off; Blink-182 blaring out of his window as he swerved off down the street. You get into your car, finally looking down at your phone to see Lyndsey’s response.

L: See me? You don’t know what I look like?

Y/N: It was dark?

Lyndsey responded quickly.

L: Why did you give me your number then?

Y/N: Because it seemed like you had cute attributes?

L: Cute attributes? Wow, is it 7 yet?

Y/N: You that eager to see me?

L: Why do you keep answering questions with more questions?

With a girl as cute as you presumed Lyndsey to be, you knew immediately that she had a good sense of humor. And that made your heart dance a little bit. You were excited to get to know her better. You had a ton of questions. What does she do? What’s her favorite color? Is she a dog person? A cat person? Does she have any siblings? What kind of music does she listen to? What are some of her hobbies? Her favorite movie? Place? Her favorite food? Does she like peanut butter as much as you do? Your head was swimming during the short ride back to your place.

Y/N: Maybe I like to keep you guessing?

You blessed the heavens when you find a parking spot close to your apartment complex, surprising as you usually have to walk five blocks  up 6th Ave. You lived alone. The roommate thing never really worked for you. You were introverted as fuck and you liked your space. That, and only paying $850/month in the city of Boston was a fucking miracle.

L: Maybe I kind of don’t mind that?

Y/N: Maybe there’s more where that came from?

L: Are you flirting with me, Y/N?

You took the elevator to floor three, your eyes glued to your phone, smiling, as you try to untangle your keys out of your pocket.

Y/N: And what if I am?

You unlocked #315. It wasn’t much, but it was home. A small kitchen was just to the right of the door, a round dining table was properly placed just behind a small sofa facing a decent-sized TV, and there was a hallway that led to your bedroom and bathroom just to the left. Quaint. Homey. It was just your size. You threw your jacket over the back of a chair, and headed to your room. You stripped down and ran a hot shower. Your muscles were tight after the workout this morning, and your mind drifted to later that night.

You hadn’t been on a date in God knows how long. You hadn’t had sex in what felt like ages, either, not since Maddie from Zumies, but really, you kind of didn’t count that as it wasn’t really your best choice. Not Maddie! Just that her boyfriend, Landon, was kind of still in the picture, and you had no idea…. Whatever. Sex wasn’t on your mind. It wasn’t that you were searching, or expecting sex from Lyndsey…. But the thought did cross your mind. It does with everyone, right? Fuck. You were nervous. Even in the shower, and in your own head, you were rambling. What if she eats with her mouth full? What if she orders just a salad? What if you get parsley stuck in your teeth? What if you spill shit on your shirt? What if Lyndsey’s only looking to bang tonight? You shut the water off, sliding the shower curtain away to reach for the towel. You head back into your room, and glanced down at your phone charging on your nightstand. Lyndsey texted you back.

L: Then you might be getting lucky tonight?

You stare at the text long enough that another bloop of a message pops up.

L: Totally kidding?

Y/N: Okay, but are you?

The three, little dots danced across your screen.

L: Do you want me to be?

For some reason, the conversation turned 0 to 100 real quick, and you found yourself trying to find a way to answer Lyndsey’s question with a question that didn’t lead to you actually wanting to fuck her.

Y/N: Next question?

L: Way to ruin the fun?

Y/N: We haven’t even been on our first date yet?

There was a long pause before Lyndsey’s response.

L: Haha I like you

Y/N: I like you too(:

And with that, nothing. Nada. Zip. Nothing until you dress yourself up in a nice, black button-up and your only pair of nice, black Chinos four hours later. You were just about to slip on your black Dock Martens when Lyndsey replied. It’s exactly 6pm.

L: Is it just me, or is a lot riding on this first date?

Y/N: What do you mean?

L: I don’t know? I feel like I know you but then I don’t know anything about you except that you have a serious fear of the night and you’re a good texter and you’re maybe, possibly cute? And I’m fucking ridiculous right now?

Y/N: (: You think I’m cute?

L: I thought we already established that?

Y/N: See you soon?

L: I hope so?

You send her that emoji with the girl running, along with the red car one, hoping it’d ease some of whatever she was feeling.

The restaurant was thankfully only about 20 minutes away, and it was super easy to get to. Arriving at the restaurant, and actually trying to locate Lyndsey from what you already, kind of expected her to look like? Not so much. There were, like, three other blondes sitting down at the tables. One of them was with a huge group of people, and another was with a dude. The other blonde could be Lyndsey if it weren’t for the red dress she was wearing. Process of elimination. You just knew Lyndsey wasn’t the dress type.

Did you beat her here? Did she bail on you? Did she get lost? Did she get in a car accident? Was this all just a dream?

There was a small, soft tap on your shoulder, and you turned around.

It was Lyndsey. And she was beautiful.

She had a long, black over-throw jacket that draped down to her calves, and a well-fitted, white, ‘Playboy’ shirt tucked into high-waisted, black jeans that were ripped at the knees. Her long, blonde hair cascaded down to her lower back, and her eyes…. They were hazel. And you got lost in them for about a half a second. She was mesmerizing. More so than what you possibly could have guessed at the cemetery. And again, there was something about her. Something inside you had lifted; your heart raced unimaginably quick, yet at the same time, your breath had evened out to a soft, low purr. And while it had only been less than 24 hours since the two of you had met, it felt like your souls had known each other for a thousand lives. And while the two of you walked to your assigned table, her hand brushing against yours, you couldn’t help, but wonder if it were true.

Attina Monroe Triton - Character Sheet

all these couples are kissing / and i can't stand the heat / i lost my shoes and left the party / i wander in the street

i put my feet into the fountain / the statues' all asleep / no use wishing on the water / it grants you no relief...

Archetype — The Caregiver Birthday — June 22, 1991 Zodiac Sign — Cancer MBTI — ENFJ Enneagram — 2, the Helper Temperament — Melancholic Hogwarts House — Hufflepuff (burned) Moral Alignment — Neutral Good Primary Vice — Envy/Lust Primary Virtue — Charity Element — Water   

Overview:

Mother — Athena Triton (nee Oceana) (deceased) Father — Jeffery Triton Mother’s Occupation — Homemaker Father’s Occupation — CEO of Triton Industries (they fund coral reef preservation and ocean clean up) Family Finances — Wealthy (from shipwrecked goods) Birth Order — Oldest Brothers —  None Sisters — Andrina (Anna Kendrick FC, Birthday: February 7, 1992), Adella (Tara Lynn FC, Birthday: March 14, 1993), Arista (Lily James FC, Birthday: March 22, 1994), Aquata (Brianne Hildebrand FC, Birthday: September 20, 1995), Alana (Grace Phipps FC, Birthday: September 23, 1997), Ariel (Sophia Lillis FC, Birthday: December 4, 2002) Other Close Family — Melody (cousin, Lily Collins FC, September 2, 1994), see family tree here. Best Friend — Nala Calame Other Friends — I’m sure she has them. Her sisters. Enemies — Guys that have broken her heart or fucked w her sisters. Pets — None. Home Life During Childhood — Happy, though, had to keep being a mermaid a secret and that was rough. Town or City Name(s) — The Ocean, Boscombe Reef. Swynlake, England. What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — Shared with Andrina. Was constantly picking up after her. Had bright colors--yellows and oranges and reds. Any Sports or Clubs — Band/Orchestra. (Harpist/keyboard.) Favorite Toy or Game — She totally has a little blanket that she’s had ever since she was a baby and it’s all ragged but she lowkey keeps it in her purse. Schooling — Swynlake Secondary. Favorite Subject — Biology! Popular or Loner — Popular Important Experiences or Events — First time a guy broke her heart (16? Same year mom died.) Health Problems — OCD Culture — Mermaid culture. Religion and beliefs — Uhhh?? They believe in the ocean???

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Sarah Drew Complexion — Pale Hair Colour — Red Eye Colour — Green Height — 5’4 Build — Petite Tattoos — a whale tail on her finger. Piercings — ear piercings Common Hairstyle — lots of various styles, attina loves to mess with her hair Clothing Style — brightly colored, trendy Mannerisms — talks with her hands, laughs awkwardly a lot Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Not really. Physical Ailments — None. Neurological Conditions — Anxiety, Depression, OCD. Allergies —  Seasonal Grooming Habits — Attina does it all--face masks, pedicures, bubble baths. She loves it all! Sleeping Habits — A pretty good sleeper, but a light sleeper. Eating Habits — Can skip meals when stressed. Probably eats more sweets than she should. Exercise Habits —  Does yoga sometimes. Emotional Stability — 5 out of 10. Tina has a lot of anxiety and her OCD can make her really hard to function sometimes, she is quick to panic and quick to anger and quick to tears. Sociability — So. Friendly. Too friendly. Body Temperature — Runs a little cold to the touch, but isn’t actually cold Addictions — none Drug Use — recreational Alcohol Use — all the time.

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — she’s ocd so there is a plethora to choose from Good Habits — always diligent lmao she locks doors like 15 times Best Characteristic — so caring, so sweet Worst Characteristic — sooooo nosy and lowkey desperate Worst Memory — learning that her mother had died Best Memory — each time her sisters were born. Also her first kiss (even if the guy was a dick) Proud of — her degree and her sisters Embarrassed by — pfft everything?? She gets so easily flustered, mostly bc she overshares Driving Style — Doesn’t drive. Strong Points — fiercely loyal and fiercely kind Temperament — bubbly but self-deprecating Attitude — optimist but also a pessimist about her own life Weakness — uhhh so many things? Her desperateness for love she could be easily used if someone tells her they love her Fears — unlovable; something happening to her sisters Phobias — well--OCD is kind of a phobia of disorder Secrets — she’s a mermaid, lol. Also, she got a job at the great barrier reef she turned down Regrets — turning down the job offer (but not really, she’d do it again) Feels Vulnerable When — she likes someone; when her sisters tease her about being overbearing Pet Peeves — when her sisters DONT LISTEN TO HER; messy people (aka all her sisters) Conflicts — wants to live her own life but feels a duty to her fam Motivation — her fam Short Term Goals and Hopes — keep everyone safe Long Term Goals and Hopes — get married. Have a family. (have a job she likes) **disclaimer: she’s given up on all of these Sexuality — Straight Exercise Routine  — she goes when andrina drags her, otherwise she swims and walks a lot. Day or Night Person — Day. Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert. Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist.

Likes and Styles:

Music — she likes lots of pop; megan trainor lana del ray katy perry. Basic bitches. Also movie soundtracks Books — anything romantic. Literally. Anything. She reads those 10 cent novels you buy at the grocery store that literally no one reads Magazines — vogue def. Probably whatever the british equivalent of People is (the Sun??) Foods — she’s a pescatarian. She lovesss fresh fish. But also fruits and veggies. Lovesss smoothies. Drinks — Smoothies. Also drinks lots of water or she’ll start looking like she’s dying Animals — starfish are her fave but she loves all sea critters. Especially coral reef dwellers bc she’s actually spoken with them Sports — uhhh does marching band count? Social Issues — magicks rights/a kinda skewed feminism/she’s p socially aware Favorite Saying — a boat is safe at shore, but that’s not what it was built for. Color — orange! Like her tail! Clothing — she dresses kinda like vintage but cute Jewelry — she wears like pearl earrings every day as a staple and different necklaces. Her mother’s stuff on special occasions. Games — uhh?? None rly. Tho im sure she’d loves those like shoot ‘em up games idk Halo? skyrim? Websites — tumblr def. Facebook def. Insta DEF TV Shows — god she loves trash reality. Movies — likes gore. Likes romance. Loves when ppl die. Greatest Want — to keep her family safe Greatest Need — to take charge of her destiny

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — She lives in Castle Suites, in a three bedroom apartment with her sister Andrina. (The third bedroom has two sets of bunkbeds and probably a futon in it so hypothetically all the sisters could stay the night.) Household furnishings — Pretty modern and always, always organized and clean. Her house always looks like it is getting ready for a photoshoot, though she has to get on Andrina for putting things away. Favorite Possession — Anything that was her mother’s, or that her mother gave her. Most Cherished Possession — A handwritten letter from her mother that Athena gave her the day her tail “popped” Married Before — Nope. Significant Other Before — Jason Madison (only serious boyfriend, they dated for nine months when she was 15-16). Children — Nope. Relationship with Family — She’s very close to all her sisters and keeps in touch with the cousins (on land) the best that she can. She’s the Perfect Daughter. Car — N/a. Career — Clerk at Whosits and Whatsits Dream Career — She wants to preserve the coral reefs in the world. Dream Life — Travel the world, but then, settle down and have a family. (Preferably have a partner during her worldly travels) Love Life — She dates around. She says “non-existent” Hobbies — Trashy reality television. Hanging out with her sisters. Knitting (bc she’s an old lady.) Watching documentaries. Hanging out in nature. Guilty Pleasure — Chocolate. Attina is always trying the newest diet craze, but when she sad chocolate is her go to. Sports or Clubs — She was in the chess club as a secondary student. She was also the favorite for student body president but she didn’t run during her upper sixth years. Talents or Skills — Attina is a talented piano player, harpist, and singer, though she hasn’t practiced any of these in quite a while. Intelligence Level — Attina is very bright, but she definitely dumbs herself down for boys. Smh. Finances — Her family is rich, but she makes a pretty meager salary at the shoppe.

Character Development

Jason

01 / BASICS

Full Name: Jason Glen Argyle Nickname: Jase (occasionally Ginger, but he takes serious offence to that) Sex/Gender: Male Birthday: 13th November 1960 Age: 19 Astrological Sign: Scorpio Occupation: Trainee Auror Spoken Languages: English, some Scots Gaelic Sexual Orientation: Straight Birthplace: Inveraray, Scotland Relationship status: Single (although this can change on a weekly basis)

02/ PHYSICAL TRAITS

Race: Human Ethnicity: White British Hair Color/Style: Red, rather short and kept tidy Eye Color: Blue Accent: A fairly broad but relaxed West Highland Scottish accent. Height: 6′1″ Tattoos: None Piercings: None Unique Attributes: A heavy scattering of freckles across his face, arms and torso. Defining Gestures/Movements: Tossing his head or running a hand through his hair when excited or angry. Posture: Generally fairly relaxed and lazy-looking; he basically makes himself at home wherever he is.

03 / PERSONALITY TRAITS

Pet Peeves: Having people misjudge him because he was a Slytherin before they’ve even spoken to him. Hobbies/Interests: He plays Quidditch casually, and keeps up both Scottish dance and fencing as he has been learning them since he was quite young. Special Skills/Abilities: He can cuss people out in two languages at once, and knows a number of obscure, not-quite-authorised spells. Likes: Chocolate Frogs, flying, Exploding Snap Dislikes: The colour orange, early mornings, sheep Insecurities: He’s not as good at studying and handling paperwork as he should be, and worries that this may be a sticking point for his career and a let-down for his parents. Quirks/Eccentricities: Often swears in Gaelic, enjoys jinxing people to talk in duck noises Strengths: Honest, courageous and affectionate Weaknesses: Impulsive, hot-headed, and overconfident Speaking Style: He’s quite a smooth talker, relaxed and not too rushed. Temperament: He’s generally easygoing and is good at cheering people up, but has a quick, hot temper that’s easily set off when he’s offended.

04 / FAMILY & HOME

Family: Glen Argyle (father), Kenna Argyle (mother), Elizabeth Kenna Argyle (sister), Micheil Argyle (paternal grandfather), Jean Argyle (paternal grandmother), Rory Macmillan (maternal grandfather), Ealasaid Macmillan (maternal grandmother), Fergus Macmillan (maternal uncle) How does he feel about his family?: He is very fond of all of them; as the eldest child, he’s always been pushed to excel, but he appreciates all they’ve done for him in helping him become the kind of person he likes being. He is particularly close to his sister and is very protective of her, though he is reluctantly accepting that he needs to let her make her own way. Although he has chosen not to join the family business, he’s been encouraging about them keeping it up. How does his family feel about him?: They are very proud of him, although they were taken aback when he ended up in Slytherin. As most of the family are Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs who have no interest in the pureblood philosophy, it was something of a shock; however, the fierce ambition he makes no secret of, and his staunch loyalty to the family, have reassured them that he is in no danger of slipping into less savoury ways. Elizabeth adores him and, although she makes a point of being an annoying little sister at times, will defend him fiercely against others. Pets: He has a tawny owl, which he has named Alastair. Where does he live?: In the family home on the outskirts of Inveraray, Scotland. What is it like there?: It is far enough away from the main town that the environment is reasonably quiet, and with the loch close by the entire area is tranquil and comfortable. Description of his home: The old stone house is reasonably spacious for its age, though this is partly due to having been expanded a few times with magic. It has a garden surrounded with a low stone wall and hedges at the back of the house. Inside, it’s furnished in a cosy, old-fashioned style, with lots of old furniture and dark wood, but the decor is light enough that it doesn’t feel too cramped. Description of his bedroom: It’s not very large, but it’s comfortable, with an old wooden bed against one wall that’s covered in a patchwork quilt. A slightly battered old school trunk is at the foot of the bed. Against the other wall are a desk and wardrobe made of oak, and in one corner is a well-cared-for broomstick. The room is tidy and painted in a light green.

05/ THIS OR THAT

Introvert or Extrovert?: Extrovert - Jason’s a friendly young man who enjoys a good time. Optimist or Pessimist?: He’s very much an optimist, confident in himself and in the future he plans to help shape. Leader or Follower?: It varies; in a social situation, he’s much more likely to take the lead, but in a serious situation he tends to turn to his best friend for guidance, or failing that some other person he trusts. Confident or Self-Conscious?: He’s very confident in himself. Cautious or Careless?: He’s quite careless at times - he’s not naturally inclined to consider a situation before plunging into it. Religious or Secular?: Secular. He was never raised in any religion and only occasionally attends church for significant holidays if he’s at home. Passionate or Apathetic?: Most definitely passionate. There are very few things he has no opinion on, and he doesn’t like to sit aside and let things happen around him. Book Smarts or Street Smarts?: He’s got more street smarts than book smarts - he’s well-educated, but he doesn’t rely on academia to get along. Compliments or Insults?: He’s more likely to fling an insult, whether in affection or anger. Pajamas or Underwear?: Pyjamas, usually loose, light cotton. It’s a defence against family members who barge into his room.

06 / FAVORITES

Favorite Color: Green - deep, warm shades specifically. Favorite Clothing Style/Outfit: Jason likes to dress simply but stylishly - well-cut robes or Muggle jeans, shirts and a leather jacket are his preferred outfits. Favorite Bands/Songs/Type of Music: His favourite music is actually traditional Scottish music, but he loves wizarding pop bands as well. Favorite Movies: He’s not seen enough to choose a favourite. Favorite TV Shows: He’s never watched TV in his life. Favorite Books: As he’s not much of a reader, he doesn’t really have a favourite book. Favorite Foods/Drinks: He will definitely kick up a fuss for a bacon sandwich, and loves Chocolate Frogs, although he insists he just likes to collect the cards. He’s also a bit of a coffee addict, and enjoys Firewhisky on occasion. Favorite Sports/Sports Teams: He’s mad on Quidditch, and his fiercely defended team is Pride of Portree, based on the Isle of Skye. Favorite Actors/Actresses: N/A Favorite Time of Day: Evening. He’s not a morning person. Favorite Weather/Season: He’s fond of sunny days, and especially summer - despite the fact he sunburns like nobody’s business, he loves being outside when it’s hot, increasing his freckle count. Favorite Animal: He’s got a serious soft spot for his pet owl. Beyond that he doesn’t mind animals, other than sheep.

07 / MISCELLANEOUS

Fears/Superstitions: His main fear in life is the Death Eaters getting to his family; he knows they’ve come recruiting and were firmly shown the door by his father. As for superstitions, he has several, being raised in an environment full of them - black or black-faced sheep are unlucky; white heather is lucky; you should never place new shoes on the table; if you spill salt you should throw some over your left shoulder; rowan trees ward away evil; silver coins bring good luck. Political Views: He’s very much on the liberal side of wizarding politics. Religion/Philosophy of Life: He’s not really got much of one - he’s just trusting that it’ll work out in the end and not worrying too much. Allergies: Other than getting up early during holidays, nothing. Addictions: Coffee, though it’s not severe. Best/Worst School Subject: His best subject was Defence Against the Dark Arts; his worst was Astronomy. How does he get money?: He’s on a trainee Auror’s salary. How is he with technology?: He doesn’t hande it too well, to be honest. He likes Muggle things, but anything more complex than clockwork tends to go wrong in his hands.

08 / PAST & FUTURE

Fondest Memory: An evening when he was about nine years old. His father and grandfather took him to see the final of the Quidditch League, in which their beloved team Pride of Portree were playing. The Prides won the Cup, and Jason still recalls screaming himself hoarse with delight. Deepest, Darkest Secret: Outspoken as he is against the Death Eaters, he can’t help wondering sometimes if there was anything that could induce him to join them. Dream Vacation: He’d love to go somewhere warm and secluded, where he could just lie around in the sun or go flying whenever he liked. Best thing that has ever happened to this character: Graduating from Hogwarts with excellent results, allowing him to achieve his ambition of entering the Auror Office. Worst thing that has ever happened to this character: Being forced to walk away from a gang of bullies threatening his best friend, knowing said friend was going to get cursed to hell and back, in order to protect his little sister. Jason still feels terrible about abandoning William like that, though they both know it was necessary to protect Elizabeth and William holds no resentment. What does he want to be when he grows up?: He intends to complete his training and spend a good while in the Auror Office, and then once he feels unfit to be on the front lines any more, he intends to go into politics and make a few changes to certain restrictive laws. Perfect Date: A pleasant afternoon wandering around a quiet little tourist village somewhere scenic, followed by a nice meal at a good restaurant. Alternatively, spectating at a good Quidditch match.

Survey #299

“you look so beautiful tonight  /  reminds me how you laid us down and gently smiled before you destroyed my life.”

Ever done any drugs? Besides alcohol, no. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. What’s your favorite show to binge? I could only ever willingly *binge* Meerkat Manor and not get bored after like, two episodes. Do you watch porn? No, it's never appealed to me. What’s one of your fantasies? Being financially stable. :^) Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? I've lightly considered getting one, but I really doubt I ever will. What’s the most overrated movie? /shrug. Let people like what they like. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. I'd love to get to know my Facebook acquaintance Courtlynn better; I've wanted to for a long time. I think we could be fantastic friends. We'll like each other's stuff regularly and occasionally leave comments, but we don't really talk. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Paper ones, by a long shot. I just really like the feeling of a book and being able to clearly see how far in you are. I enjoy the smell and sound of turning pages. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Probably Wonderland, realistically. I would say Azeroth, but too much world-threatening shit goes on every day lol. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? G O T H Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yep. Do you drink? Very, very rarely. Almost exclusively during celebrations or on the once in a blue moon occasion we go to a sit-down restaurant. Do you read erotica? No. It would make me super uncomfortable. What color was the last candle you lit? I don't remember at all. Do you own a treadmill? No, but I want one. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? Well, not exactly me. Mom and Nicole both had memberships to Planet Fitness, and I was able to come as a guest. It was just cheaper that way. What color was the last fish you had? That I owned or ate? Either way, idr. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? No. If you play The Sims, do you download custom clothes, hair, etc? I don't play it. Does your animal sleep with you? Roman does, yes. He legitimately spoons with me lmao. Sometimes he'll move to the bottom of the bed, other times he'll sleep through most of the night there. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? Yes. What is your favorite song to play on Guitar Hero or Rock Band? "Hotel California" by The Eagles on expert is so much fun and just feels good. The ending solo is just great. When you drink chocolate milk do you just buy the jug of it or the syrup that you can put into the milk? Almost always just the chocolate syrup. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. What’s the worst abuse you have done to your phone? I know I've thrown it across the room once. Well, not my current phone, but a really old one. How did you meet your first love? High school. Well, you could maybe say Facebook. He sent me a friend request and I literally only accepted it because I thought it was another Jason. We talked via messenger some and then we ran into each other at school, and tbh I kinda knew I was fucked from there lmao. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever kissed in a pool? Yeah. Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? I absolutely cannot write in front of others, and I HATE drawing when people are watching. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? Odds are I'll probably be scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something in WoW that sounds even remotely fun, or I'll browse Facebook. How did you find out about your current favorite band? He's one of my mom's favorite singers/bands, so I grew up with some of his music, and when I was getting into rock and metal, I decided to go through her music case and listen to some of it. Ozzy's Black Rain album set the adoration into motion. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? The Internet or Wal-Mart, depending on what kind of clothes I need. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? I should have an answer for this very quickly... yet I'm unsure. I don't think anything *major* has happened in a while. Oh, this is a tiny thing, but I did look really hard for the pencil sharpener so my niece could finish coloring her drawing, but I couldn't find the damn thing for anything. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? Lots and lots of failure. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? Uhhh outgoing, ig. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? Considering I hide a lot about myself to try and be accepted, yes. When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? Literally yesterday to my mom about this unreasonably massive fear I've had lately that she doesn't have much longer in her. I'm terrified she's going to get COVID or her cancer just comes back faster than we hope. To whom do you feel the most important? My mom. Is there something you want but might not ever have? Many things. What’s something you’re working to obtain? Mental stability. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? No, considering they're usually violent and rarely just psychotic nightmares. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? Hm. What in life serves to keep you going? The hope it'll get better, and I'll reach a point of actually being happy and content with my life. What was the last good news you received? Nicole's trip to Maryland to bring back a baby was successful (if that sounds weird, she's a child social worker). He has a heart condition where if his heartbeat or something like that was irregular, she'd have driven all the way up there for nothing; the baby wouldn't have been able to take the ride. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? Sweet. Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? I mean I'd like to be in one, but I highly doubt it'd be successful, just given where I am in life. I'd be signing up for heartbreak. Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? I don't know. Probably Mom for something minor, like just bumping into me or something. Are you wearing a necklace, and if so, who got it for you? No. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately? Lately? Uh. I don't know, but I can guarantee to you it wasn't long ago at all, considering breathing embarrasses me, pretty much. Do you ‘think out loud’? Sometimes. Do you take gummy vitamins? No. How do you know the majority of the people you know? Former schools. Hell, or maybe various online locations. I just might have more online friends and acquaintances than in-person. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I've talked about my pebble from my partial hospitalization program enough. Can you play electric guitar? I used to be able to play a little bit; I took guitar lessons for a short while in high school. Best I could do was the intro to "Crazy Train," but I'd still occasionally mess up. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences? Yes. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yeah. Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? Yes, usually songs that are also angry. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? The only case this has ever happened was with Jason and his gf after me. There are no words to describe the fucking hatred I felt. I haven't seen pictures of him with an s/o in a long time, and I absolutely never plan on seeking them out ever again. What song are you listening to right now? "Rest In Pieces" by Saliva. If you’re not in college, why? I couldn't handle the stress anymore. Just couldn't. Do you own a studded belt from Hot Topic? I have a good number of old ones from high school, actually. I wore them all the time. I could never fit into them now. Favorite fictional character? Um, Darkiplier, duh. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? I think it's finally set in stone that I'm getting my tattoo redone soon. Thanks to my laptop saying "ha fuck you," it's not as soon as I originally planned since I had to pay to fix it, but Mom seems fine with helping me pay for my birthday. Not a guarantee that it'll happen on that date of course, given scheduling, but yeah. It should fucking finally be happening. How many stairs can you climb before you wanna pass out? This is too embarrassing to even answer lmao. Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't. I feel like I'd personally need the "wow this is a part of me (and/or my s/o)" connection. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never go hunting, and the only occasion in which I'd fish again is if Dad asked me. I don't like the idea of fishing for fun anymore, but that's like... always been our bonding experience, and I wouldn't tell him no. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Knew. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Who are your godparents? I don't think I have any. Do you have any friends who are famous? I have two friends who are parts of bands, but idk how successful they are. I don't think either are like, huge. Nova Mortis if you're into heavy metal and I think Toukan does rap? When was the last time you stayed at a hotel? Hm. I have no idea. What side of a heart do you draw first? Uhhhh I think the left? What is your mom saved as in your phone? "Mama Bear." Do you want your tongue pierced? I had snake eyes for a while, but I took them out because I kept chipping my teeth. I miss that piercing, it was so cute, but it wasn't worth ruining my teeth. Ever made out in a pool? It's possible very briefly, idr. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? SHORT. SHORT. SHORT. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not really. Would you get back with your last ex if you could? Yeah. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Yes. What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate is way too sweet. Did anyone see your last kiss? It was at an airport, so probably. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean, I do, but I don't really know how smart it would be right now. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? A few. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Girt. Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Hell naw man, I looked up to them lmao. What size is your mattress? (single,twin,double,queen,king) Queen. Do you like spaghetti? Hell yeah. It was my favorite food as a kid. What about lasagna? No; I don't like the cheese at all. Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Mosquitoes of course, as well as a bee once. Maybe other things, idk. Have you ever worn contacts? (even just to try them out) Yes, but I changed to glasses because I had too much trouble putting them in and taking them out. Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? No. Have you ever been screened for STDs? No. Did you have your tonsils taken out? No. Did you have your appendix taken out? No. Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? What is a "collector's" glass or mug? Were you your parents’ first born? No; I'm the middle child. Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No. Were you born perfectly healthy or with some (or a lot) of health issues? I was born healthy. Good 'ole days. Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? Ohhhh yes, my neighbor and I loved doing that. My favorite was catching fireflies with my sisters, though. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend. I'd get lonely. Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? A whole lot, sadly... I'm despising that disease more and more every day that goes by. I know far too many people who have it or have died at its hands. Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No. Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? N/A. Do not stay in a relationship where fighting is common. Would you ever share a site password with a family member or partner? I mean sure, depending on the site and person, and the reason they (may) need it. Has anyone ever told you they couldn't trust you? Hm... I actually don't think so? Who in your family has the prettiest eyes? Idk, I don't see enough of my extended family to know. What is an odd food item you would like to try, or have tried? I'm sure there's something I'd like to try, but nothing I think about with consistency, really... Most "odd" food I find unappealing anyway. When/if you drive, do you go the speedlimit? When I did, I certainly always tried to, but I was bad at maintaining a stable speed. I went up and down too much. Are you an aggressive driver? Or more passive-aggressive? I was dangerously passive at driving. Describe a hairstyle you had as a little kid? Well, I had long hair with bangs. What routine of yours would you most hate to break? Probably stopping getting a soda first thing in the morning... That is like so deeply ingrained into my day and is a motivator to get up in the first place. I want to change this to where I'm not allowed to grab one until I've had a full cup of water, but yeah, that hasn't happened yet. Has jealousy ever ruined one of your friendships/relationships? Honestly? I think it's possible that Jason totally split on me because of it. We were in this very unstable "friends" position after the breakup and hung out very briefly and awkwardly twice (which I'm pretty sure he didn't want), and I think one of our last attempts at conversation was who a girl he was talking to via Messenger was. No, before any assumptions are made, I didn't snoop. He showed me something on his phone and I just inevitably saw the little Facebook chat icon of a girl I didn't recognize. I don't even remember his answer. I just know it wasn't too long later I was blocked and everything. What is one restaurant you would NOT recommend? I personally am not a Chili's fan. What was your last conversation about? Mom and I were just talking about what a mush the cat is, haha. Who is your favorite person to debate or discuss with? Yo fuck debates, I got mad anxiety over that kind of stuff. Are you more likely to praise or insult yourself? Why? Insult. I don't even believe myself when I try praising, so it's not worth the effort. I have a billion and two reasons. Do you enjoy cloudy days? Why or why not? Honestly, not very much anymore. I've found that it actually does affect my mood. I like some cloud coverage, though. Would it bother you to be forgotten after death? Yes, even though when you think about it, most of us will be. I want to do stomething so badly; not even particularly something major, but just contribute to things and causes that matter and slowly change the world for the better. It's especially likely I will be forgotten though at some point because I don't want kids, so my blood isn't carrying on. Do you tend to prefer healthy or unhealthy snacks? Ugh, unhealthy. Has anyone ever asked you for diet advice? I think so, back when I started recovery and lost like 60 lbs fast as fuck. I wasn't even dieting though, just... came off awful meds. What age is your youngest aunt? Ummmm I have no clue. Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun, but I'm not good at it. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? Totally. Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet. How're your dancing skills? Rusted to the point of just not functional anymore lmao. What brand of batteries do you usually get? I don't pay attention to the kind Mom gets. Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A lot of my FB friends have kids. At least two are pregnant, but I only consider myself remotely close to one. I'm beyond worried about how she's going to be as a mom. Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I've certainly seen some questionable placement in busy areas, but none that are super odd. Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I don't care nowadays; I just stay up until I'm tired like every other night.

Survey #334

"i dreamed i was missing  /  you were so scared  /  but no one would listen,  ‘cuz no one else cared”

Sunrise or sunset? Sunset has prettier colors, imo, but I enjoy the pastel nature of sunrises, too. Are you mentally ill? Oh brother. Are you physically ill? I don't have any serious physical health issues, no. Introvert or extrovert? I'm a very strong introvert. What do you think when you look at your body? That it's fucking disgusting. What have others said when they look at your body? When I was healthy, I was complimented every now and again. With the body I have now? I'm glad people keep their months shut. Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? There's a good 'ole handful or two. Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? It's weird, I'm not a city person at all, but possibly when I was walking the streets of Chicago with Sara and her dad one evening. There was just so much life, so many new sights, that it was impossible not to. Plus, I was at a very happy point in my life, so. I just enjoyed a lot. Are you confident wearing a bikini? FUCK NO. Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? Mentally, obviously. Everyone has at some point. I've never been seriously physically hurt by family, but Mom did spank my sisters and me as kids if we did something wrong. Biggest lie you have told? I don't really know. I get really uncomfortable telling even minor lies, so making a big one would be excruciating. I'm not saying I've never said a biggie, I'm sure in 25 years of life I said something stupid at one point, I just don't remember it. Do you believe in the Illuminati? Nah; there's some compelling evidence, but I just think it's way too big of a secret to keep. Regrets in your life? Blaming the breakup entirely on Jason and saying just plain cruel things to him afterwards. Also sending an appallingly hateful letter to Dad to vent after the divorce. Flirting with my then-best friend's boyfriend at the time behind her back. Dating Tyler (it's a small one, but still a regret). There are others, those are just the only ones coming to me right now. Achievements in your life? Lots of academic success and awards (before college, anyway...), artistic accomplishments like having my work put in a museum, surviving a traumatic breakup, (mostly) recovering from massive depression... What did people say about you in school? Nothing, really. I was a quiet student who just did her work and tried hard. Is there something you have never told anyone? Yes. If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? First, I'm paying off college debt. Then Mom gets a new car, followed by me getting new glasses and renewing my permit. I'm getting a good terrarium setup for Venus. Then, it's tattoo time, baby, haha. I can't really do the mental math on how much this all would cost, but those are the high-priority things I can think of. Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? Jason and I were playfighting in bed, and he had me pinned. Our faces were close, and I decided to kiss him. It was a fairy tale moment, in my eyes. He looked so bashful for once (he's far from shy) but also really happy, and I was too. Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? Low, I think. Or maybe average, when Dad was still around. Have you been raised by a solo parent? When I was around 17, my parents split, so kinda-sorta. Do you know both your parents? Thankfully, yes. Have you abused drugs or alcohol? No. Are you comfortable accepting compliments? Ehhhh, I really appreciate them and they can make my whole day, but I'm very awkward about it. I get shy. Are you comfortable giving compliments? Oh yes. I honestly love giving compliments; I know how happy they can make me, so why not share that with others? Is any mental illness hindering your life? Guess. (: Is any physical illness hindering your life? Well, it's not an "illness," but the muscles in my legs have severely atrophied from leading such a horribly sedentary lifestyle, and that has greatly affected my ability to work without the risk of just collapsing. Walking at all is painful. Are you preparing for an apocalypse? No. I'm not really one to worry about "prepping." If it happens, it happens, man. I'm not spending loads of money on a "maybe." Are you interested in cults? Not really, no. Are your parents good cooks? Mom is fine, but it's hard to really judge Dad's cooking since he barely ever did it, plus I haven't had his cooking in many, many years. I remember he was great at making breakfast, though. That was like a rare treat, him deciding to make breakfast for everyone. Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it? No. Do you know anyone who is an actor? No. Have your wisdom teeth come through yet? They never did. Have you ever used a public pay phone? No. Have you ever made an item of clothing? No. Have you taken someone's virginity? No. Is confidence cute? "Confidence, yes. But cockiness and arrogance, no. That’s a whole different area that’s definitely not cute." <<<< Nailed it. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Doubt it. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No; rather, I drink too much of it. I'm trying really hard to lay off of it, and I drink nowhere near as much as I used to (when oddly enough, I was healthy and fit), but I'm still not comfortable drinking a can and a half a day. Listening to? "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park. Kinda obsessed. Ever used a bow and arrow? No, but archery is cool. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I don't think this has happened since my senior shot in HS. Take a vitamin daily? Daily, no, but I really should. I take a Vitamin D capsule every Sunday, though. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I only really like "Love Story" and "Picture to Burn." Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah. Which are better: black or green olives? I don't like olives period, but I guess black. What’s your 3rd favourite animal? Huh, never thought of #3, just #1 and #2: meerkats and opossums. Maybe snakes? Do you like mushrooms? NO. NO NO NO. What dream do you remember most vividly? One I don't talk about. A childhood nickname? Mom called me "Twinkie" and still sometimes does. ;-; Does anyone in "real life" know that you take surveys? Would you be embarrassed if they found your blog? Just Sara. And yes, regarding some people. Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Did you have an argument that lead to that happening? I'm unsure, but probably. I don't tend to just like... randomly block people. What was the first social media account you remember signing up for? Are you still a member of that particular website, if it even still exists? Of course it was MySpace. It's still floating around somewhere in cyberspace. What website from your childhood/teen years do you wish still existed? I get nostalgic over the Animal Planet forums sometimes. Have you ever met up with anyone in real life that you first met via the internet? Did you get on as well as you thought you would? Yes, Sara. I felt like it would go just fine, but it went even better than I expected - I was oddly very comfortable around her and her family. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? Are you a fan of things like that in general? Yeah; I tried many brands until I settled for Equate, surprisingly. Cheap does not equate to bad quality, my friends. We always have the chocolate ones in the house, and they're really not bad at all. Are you the kind of person to enjoy taking naps? I love me my daily nap, man. What's your favourite kind of cheese to have on a pizza? Idk, whatever cheese is normally used, lol. What's a hobby you loved when you were younger but no longer enjoy for whatever reason? I guess video editing. I can't say I'd no longer enjoy it at all, but now the idea sounds far more like a chore than fun. Is there a popular food/drink that you can't stand? What is it and why don't you like it? I could name five dozen, but here's just a few: coffee, pie, tea, fried chicken (or is that just a Southern thing to be obsessed with?), and... of course now that I'm asked this question, I'm blanking on the huge number I know exist. As for "why," that varies, but it's either just simply a taste or even a texture thing. How would your wedding boquet look like? I want a gothic-themed wedding, so imagine a mix of black and maroon roses... whew-wee. You’re at a bar, and you witness a man drugging some girl's drink. What do you do? No hesitation, I'm decking the motherfucker. Fuck my fear of men, he's getting knocked out, and I'm immediately alerting the staff, as well as of course the girl. Kids? How many? Why? Names? Boy or girl? Y'know, loads and loads of scaly and hairy ones. Got plenty of name ideas depending on what they are and how they look. The only baby whose gender matters to me is the tarantula because females live waaaay longer. Fuck them human babies, not for me. Are you an organ donor? Absolutely. I sure as hell ain't usin' 'em once I'm dead, so consider it my last act of selflessness. Whats the most you’ve ever lost gambling? I don't gamble. What is something you can never give up (that's not love or family)? My pebble from my "graduation" from my first partial hospitalization program. It's meant to symbolize how great pain and trials can file you into something beautiful. It was passed around group, everyone holding it in their hands as they wished me well and spoke their piece about me. I'm honestly just fighting back tears remembering it. Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No, I'm way too impatient for that shit.. Do you think having an expensive phone is a good investment? Hm. I guess it depends on what you use it for. Have you ever witnessed a birth in person? A human birth, no fucking thank you. I've only ever seen pet cats give birth. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does, big time. He quit drinking, but never quite managed to stay away from cigarettes. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? Seeing as I grew up with outdoor cats that we couldn't afford to fix, pretty much all of our tomcats left for roving once they came of a certain age. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan and Jason know each other, Jason and Girt know one another as well, and Sara and Girt have met. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? I simply cannot fathom the belief that "dinosaurs never existed." Explain the fucking fossils, like come the fuck on. It's absolute denial in the name of religion. What was the very first election you voted in? This one that just passed, actually. What is one random fact about you? I want like 20 tarantulas but Mom says no. :( Do you spend a lot of time outdoors in the summer? Fuck no, I will do anything to stay inside in summer. Do you wear band tees? if yes, which one is your favorite? I love band tees, yeah. My Ninja Sex Party shirt is the most comfortable, but comfort aside, it's hard to pick a favorite. Possibly my Otep one, 'cuz the design is dope. Do you ever re-arrange your room? No. What season do you want to get married in? Fall. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Oh god, I don't own expensive brand stuff. I guess the only exclusion would be my Cloak shirt, but even that's not like, mad pricey. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Maybe that Catz game? Even though the music was the most fucking obnoxious meowing ever lmao. What was the last compliment you remember someone gave to you? Who was it? It was this guy in my PHP group; my therapist surprised the fuck out of me by sharing with everyone my most recent poem (I trust him a lot, and he urges me to send him my art, so I've done that twice), and I nearly fucking died from cardiac arrest. However, this Nick guy, who's a poetry major, told me it was better than stuff he reads in his Master's program. I almost cried. Have you ever personally been friends with a stripper or prostitute? No, not that I'm opposed though or anything. If you have tattoos, which one that you have was the most painful? The one on my inner forearm. Have you ever actually met and talked to someone who’s famous? No. When was the last time you got a parking ticket for anything at all? I never have. Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? No; Roman won't even come close enough to a stranger TO bite, haha. It's funny, he's so goofy and you'd guess outgoing, but instead, he's terrified of people he doesn't recognize. What’s your favorite type of sushi? I don't eat sushi. What’s your favorite patriotic song? Don't have one. Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No, and I'd really prefer not to because it would just drag me back to dark times. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? ^ Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you like soy sauce? omfg no What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market. @_@ It's a hub for reptiles for sale, and I have my days where I just browse the ball python morphs for like an hour or so, haha. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend had? Christ, half my friends on Facebook are having babies, idr. I don't know who was the most recent. Do people normally say you’re a fast typer, or are you rather slow? I'm very fast. Have you ever been considered the "smartest person in school?" No; that was my friend Hannia. I'm pretty certain she would qualify as a genius. Her GPA was fucking incredible. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? No.