12, 7, 10

7: would you rather read a plot-focused fic or pwp?

that really depends what mood i'm in! sometimes you only have the attention span for a smutty oneshot

10: have/would you read a reader-insert fic?

i have read them in the past occasionally and i even had two different blogs where i would try my hand at writing them by request, for atl crew members and for jack barakat lol, but i never really enjoyed it that much. it was out of my comfort zone but not in a good way and i was never fully happy with the work i produced writing that way, and the ones i would read were written by friends which i think was the only reason i liked those ones. overall it's cringe for me but no hate to ppl that enjoy them!

12: first-person or third person fics?

as long as they're written well, i don't generally have a preference! i can enjoy both equally.

send me a fanfic reader ask

All Time Low Preference: Feeling Low

Alex:

Alex would reenact his favorite movie scenes until you finally laughed. Admit that it may not work at times, but his goofy nature could bring a smile anywhere.

Zack:

Zack would put on an intimate solo show for you. Singing and performing your favorite songs whether their from the band or not. He’s had a lot of practice just for you.

Rian:

Rian would be all ears for you. Maybe supplying some food while he gives you a good ear and opinion to help you out. He won’t leave until you feel much better, but he also would not deny you your space if you asked.

Jack:

Jack would immediately come running from wherever. He would know you would look down to see if it was actually him coming and he’d pull a goofy trick like this. Even if you are a couple feet apart.

i fucking hate them (aka i’m really gay and i can’t handle this)

Jack Barakat’s Instagram story - May 5, 2018

winter with calum moodboard

pictures are not mine, only the edits

“can you please do an all time low preference where you tell them you're pregnant?”

Alex Gaskarth:

You sat on the smooth white surface of your bathroom sink, your fingers tapping rapidly against the front edge of the counter, your legs swinging gently, and a pregnancy test laying on the other side of the sink. You tried to remain calm as you waited for those blue lines to do their thing. You heard the front door open and close, keys jingle as they were hooked to the wall, and footsteps approaching the kitchen.

“Baby?” Alex, your long-time boyfriend, called out. You reached over the sink and grabbed the pregnancy test. One line...two lines. Pregnant. Your breath halted as you stared at the positive test, then a smile swept across your face. You jumped down from the sink and opened the door. Alex stood in front of it about to knock.

“Hey, what’re you doing?” He asked. You just stared into his brown eyes, his pink hair swept messily across his forehead. Alex rose an eyebrow as you didn’t respond. You reached over and held up the test, showing Alex the results. His eyes left yours and traveled to the lines, then quickly back up to your eyes.

“Are you serious?” He let out a happy laugh as you nodded your head. Alex grabbed your face and pressed his lips against yours in a hard, passionate kiss.

“I’m so fucking happy, oh my god,” Alex couldn’t stop smiling and kissing you until you were both shedding happy tears.

Jack Barakat:

6 o’ clock in the morning. Too fucking early. You slammed awake from your messy hotel bed, nausea taking over your body. You rushed to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.

“God, what was in that wine...I only had two glasses.” You thought to yourself as you held the rim of the toilet, afraid you weren’t finished. Your finance, Jack, was stirring in bed after a long night of partying in Hawaii. You watched him through the open door of the bathroom hoping he wouldn’t wake up so you didn’t have to move from your spot at the toilet.

“Oh no,’ you threw up again, this time it felt more relieving. You stood up and washed yourself up. You sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped your arms around your stomach, leaned against your thighs, and closed your eyes. After sitting like that for awhile, Jack woke up and saw you. His eyes half closed, his black hair messy and the red streak in it fading. He kicked your hip gently, and sat up.

“Why are you awake so early?”

“I had to throw up, that wine must have been stronger than I thought.” You replied. Jack wiped his eyes and laughed.

“Maybe you’re pregnant.” It was intended to be a joke, but you actually thought about it. You tried to remember when the last time you had your period was and you couldn’t.

“Jack...I’ll be right back.” You put on some long pajama pants and shoes, and raced the the drugstore. You walked in, eyes scanning for the family planning section. There. You rushed without rushing to the back corner of the store and grabbed one of the more expensive pregnancy tests. You weren’t taking any chances. You paid for it and rushed back to the hotel. Jack was still sitting on the bed, but this time his was in pants and wide awake.

“Did you really buy a pregnancy test?” He asked. You looked at him, then went to the bathroom.

“Baby, I mean...is it possible? I mean, I know it’s POSSIBLE, but...” Jack was at the door now and was a little on edge, he was nervous, he didn’t actually think you were pregnant until he saw your reaction. Now the thoughts were rushing through his mind too. You were in the bathroom for what seemed like forever to Jack, finally you opened the door, walked right past him, who was still standing there, and sat on the bed. You let yourself fall backward.

“So?” He paused before asking. Jack walked over to you and stood with one leg in between your legs that were bent along the edge of the mattress. You let out a sigh.

“Do you want to be a father?” You asked, still not giving an answer about the test.

“With you, fuck yeah.” You were shocked, you honestly thought he’d be worried about it, that he wouldn’t want to give up a life of traveling and drinking. You sat up, your face at his chest now. Jack looked down at you and grabbed your cheeks, kissing the top of your head.

“I think we could make it work, honestly, I’m excited to be a dad. Our kid would be fucking awesome.” He laughed. You smiled.

“Good. Because I’m pregnant.” You looked up at him, Jack’s face lit up. His smile stretched as far as it could and his eyes almost shut. He pushed you back and climbed next to you, kissing you before asking,

“Can we name the baby Alex?” 

Zack Merrick:

You had been feeling sick all week, your stomach twisting and turning, throwing up multiple times. Your boyfriend, Zack, had planned a week long hike and camping trip with you for weeks prior to your illness so you didn’t want to cancel on him now. He showed up at your house in the early morning. His car all packed up with the essentials, tent, cookware, hiking gear, bear repellent, you name it. You slung your dufflebag over your shoulder and grabbed you backpack. You looked at your face in the mirror and you looked like death, but you sucked it in and headed out the door.

“I don’t know why we really have to leave this early, I mean, the campsite will still be there at 6pm.”

“Y/N! Getting there early is part of the fun. We can set up and have all day to explore or relax before we go hiking.” Zack responded. You sighed with a smile.

“If you say so, wake me up when we’re there.” You leaned the passenger seat back and closed your eyes. You tried to rest but your nausea kept getting in the way. Finally, after listening to Zack’s “Roadtrip Jams” playlist four times, you were at the campsite. Zack carried most of the things, refusing to take multiple trips due to excitement for camping. and you grabbed your bags and tossed them on the ground. Zack pitched the tent, gathered firewood “for authenticity” he said, and made the site into a cozy little nook just for the two of you. You felt sick to your stomach again, and tried not to throw up the whole day. Zack brought an acoustic bass and used it to play subtle background music for a serenade session. You sat across from him in your folding chair and watched him lovingly but the nausea came back.

“I’ll be right back babe.” You got up and grabbed your backpack, rushing to the woods. You barely made it behind a tree, and threw up.

“Fuck.” You whispered as you wiped your mouth with a tissue from your bag. You reached in for some extra toilet paper so you could go to the bathroom, and a small box fell out with it. You picked it up and wrapped around it was a piece of paper that read, “you’ve been sick AF lately, maybe you should use this. XO Jen”. You unwrapped the paper and underneath was a pregnancy test. Your best friend had slipped it into you bag for you. You were shocked, you didn’t even think about being pregnant. Zack was always protected and you were on birth control. Your lives were so filled with travel and outdoor adventures that you were specifically not trying to have a baby. The thought worried you. it would be the perfect explanation for your illness, but you didn’t know how to handle it, or how Zack would. Regardless, you peed on that stick anyway.

Zack was getting worried, he called out to you asking if you were okay. You came out of the brush and replied, “yeah, just a little sick is all”. He stood up and handed you a mug of water.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You nodded at him.

“Well, I have something to tell you and I don’t know how you’ll take it.” Zack got even more worried.

What is it?”

“Zack, I love you so much and I don’t know how this will affect things but I hope that it will be positive...I’m pregnant...” Zack didn’t know what to say at the moment. He stood dumbfounded. He didn’t let off any particular emotion, just a blank stare.

“Are you...okay?” You stepped closer to him, poking him in his muscular chest. Zack looked down at your stomach, then back to your face, then back to your stomach.

“Earth to Zachary.”

“I’m...you’re...” He couldn’t get his words out but a smile crept across his face. He grabbed you by the waist and lifted you into a strong hug.

“We’re going to be parents?”

“Yes, is that okay?”

“Okay? That’s amazing! I love you so much!” You could feel his excitement oozing off of him. He was so overjoyed and that made you know that everything would be amazing.

Rian Dawson:

Your husband, Rian, was holding your hand as you picked out which pregnancy test you wanted to use. You and him had been trying to get pregnant for quite awhile now and this was attempt some-teen of buying a test. Rian was in a good spot with the band and his music producing, you two had recently moved into your first house, and you adopted your favorite pet together. Your career was great, and your life was going well. You finally wanted to add on and have a child but it seemed to be more difficult that initially planned.

“You know what? I’m just going to get all of these.” You grabbed once of each test and threw it in the basket. You also grabbed an extra bottle of your favorite intensifying lube and gave Rian a smirk. He gripped your hand approvingly.

You checked out, the young cashier noticing your items and gave a smile. You looked over all of the boxes of tests again once you were in the car.

“Honestly, I don’t know what the difference is, if they all say ‘fastest results’ which one is telling the truth?” You questioned. Rian shrugged. Once you got home, you took your big sack of pregnancy tests into the bathroom where Rian tried to follow.

“I can do this part by myself, babe.” You laughed. Rian stood by the door waiting. After you had peed a little on each test, you laid them out on the counter and washed your hands. You opened the door for Rian and he looked at them all laid out.

“Now we wait.” You said, setting a timer on your phone. You sat on the toilet lid and Rian sat on the edge of the bathtub. The minutes passed and the timer went off. Rian squeezed your hand before you stood up and grabbed one of the tests. You closed your eyes, sighed, then looked at it. It was hard to tell if the second line was one the little screen. It was the cheapest test, and the “not pregnant” line was barely there too. You dropped it in the sink and shrugged, moving on to the next. You examined this one, it definitely said “pregnant”. You choked back a smiled, looking at every single one before you turned back to Rian. Every single one of those pregnancy tests said pregnant. You broke down in tears. Rian thought it was negative again and came to comfort you. But you started to laugh. He was confused and looked at the tests himself. Rian’s eyes filled with excitement. He wrapped his arms around you and repeatedly kissed your forehead, cheeks, and nose. His bright white teeth seemed to lighten the room.

“I love you so much, Y/N, I love you,” he repeated over and over, in between each kiss. “You’re going to be such a great mother”.

“And you a father.” You hugged him and cried into his shoulder.

Finally.

#14 with Jack Barakat

“You’ll fall in love again”

Jack’s POV

    I don’t know if I can continue doing this anymore. She deserves a lot better than this. I know that no matter how much of a strong face she puts on, I know it hurts her. She has missed so much school and work because of me. I know she tells me she knew what she was signing up for when we got together. However, I feel like I’m holding her back…. She bases her whole life around my schedule. She goes on tour when I need it, she waits around when I’m away, and she is just waiting for me. I’m holding her back, I know it. I want her to live her life, I want her to not worry about flights, tour dates, guitars, etc. She doesn’t need this in her life, she needs to live. She needs to do all the things she wants to do, all the things she had planned out for herself. What’s that saying…. If you love it let it go. And if it was meant to be it will come back to you? I need to do this today, I have to do it before I leave to go on tour. I need to do it tonight when she is here.

*time skip to later that night*

The house was spotless. She cooked dinner for us tonight, and when I walked in the house my heart already started to break. She was dressed up and her makeup looked flawless. Knowing that this night will end up in tears on both ends, makes me feel like the worst person ever. We are just sitting on the couch watching movies now and I’m trying to think of the speech I have planned for this and I’m blanking the fuck out.

“Y-Y/N, can we talk?” I ask nervously.

“Yeah, babe. What’s up.” She replies while turning to look at me.

“Ummm…. I don’t know how to say this…” I mumble

“Jack, you are scaring me. What’s going on” she replies

“I think we should break up. I just feel like it’s the best thing for you right now.” I say and look at the ground

“W-what do you mean? Is there someone else? Did I do something wrong? Why are you-” she starts panicking

“No,no it’s not anything to do with you. It’s all me, as cliche as that sounds. I’m holding you back from living your life and you deserve so much better. I can’t keep you waiting when I’m gone.” I try to explain

“I never asked you to do this, I signed up for this Jack. It’s fine, please don’t do this” she begs while the tears fall down her face.

“I love you. I just want you to know that. I love you, enough to let you go. I can’t keep holding you back…. I can’t do that to you” I finally say.

“B-” she starts.

“Y/N, you’ll fall in love again. Ok? Promise me that you will move on and try to be happy. Promise me you will do that,” I beg her

“I promise,” she finally sighs out.

I put my hands on her cheek, I swipe at the pools of black running down her cheeks. Even crying, she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It kills me to walk away but she needs this. I press my lips against her to say goodbye and walk out of her place.

AU Text imagines: All Time Low #1

INTRO: MUN // TASK #001

hey all!! i’m slowly working on bios and pages and such but I wanted to introduce myself first -- so here’s what’s technically was the first task?? im using it as the template for my intro so HERE WE GO!!

PERSONAL INTRO

name  /  alias : victoria / tor gender  /  pronouns : cisfemale / she/her where  ya  from  ? : texas!! the  current  time :  4:29 pm height :  5��4 job  or  major :  unemployed at the moment, but I have a degree in health science/health administration & a national certification in phlebotomy pet  (  s  ) :  one doxie/beagle mix named Roxie favorite  thing  (  s  )  about  yourself :  my ability to remember song lyrics better than my own name any  special  talents  ? :  uhhhh I can play 4 ( 5? ) instruments why  you  joined  hqclouds :  FUNNY STORY care was talking to me about some Tea ( we’re in another rp together ) and she made a comment about running an rp and im a bit of a sleuth and found hqclouds and decided to join  meaning  behind  url :  it’s ‘ of clementines ’ because one of my favorite halsey songs is clementine and i’ve been on a halsey kick as of late  last  thing  you  googled :  ‘ fools troye sivan ’ because I wanted to send my friend the music video birthday  /  zodiac :  october 29th / scorpio in  your  opinion  ,  does  your  sign  suit  you  ? : some days myers  -  briggs :  I took it forever ago and don’t remember... ^^’ moral  alignment :  chaotic good hogwarts  house : ravenclaw!! three  fictional  character  (  s  )  you  see  yourself  in  +  why :  oh gosh.... katherine from newsies ( dedicated, doesn’t take a man’s shit), emma from the prom (nervous gay who plays guitar), and flynn rider from tangled (jokester, very in love with our girlfriends) i  started  roleplaying : 2012 I think? types  of  rps  i  enjoy :  definitely literate ones favorite  fcs  to  use :  I try to not reuse fcs a lot?? like I have some I prefer for certain characters, but I don’t have a strong draw to certain faces... fandom  (  s  )  you’d  like  to  write  in : musicals ( namely newsies ), fairy tail, the raven cycle fandom  (  s  )  you  aren’t  in  but  are  curious  about :  uhhhh I dont really know... share  a  funny  roleplay  horror  story :  oh gosh I dealt with one girl who like... constantly gaslit me as a player and my characters, would make me feel bad for not responding immediately, made everything about her characters, and then got mad when I called her out on it? and now she goes to a christian school and says that rp is ‘ the devil’s work ’ and I just... yeah. fondest  roleplay  memory :  I feel like the moment my now girlfriend and I realized we always do ships bc just had awesome chemistry and then started dating like, 4 months later. favorite  canon  muse  (  s  )  to  play : connor murphy ( deh ), gansey ( trc ), spot conlon ( newsies ), jimmy ( bandstand ), lucy heartfillia ( fairy tail ) favorite  original  muse  (  s  )  to  play : theo massard ( a boxer, jack barakat fc; had an AMAZING ship for him )  canon  ships  you  can’t  help  but  love :  CATRADORA. none of my other ships are technically canon : / trope  (  s  )  you  tend  to  be  guilty  of : tragic backstories, tough on the outside soft on the inside i  prefer  .  .  . angst  ,  smut  ,  or  fluff :  I wanna say fluff but I know care and megan will call me out bc I love angst more than anything long  or  short  replies :  mid-length pre  plotting  or  chemistry : chemistry leading to pre plotting! sentence  starters  or  headcanon  memes : both? I love discussing headcanons single  muse  or  multimuse  blogs :  multi!! gif  icons  ,  medium  gifs  ,  or  static  icons : typically gif icons, but lately ive been loving medium gifs grab  the  book  nearest  to  you  and  pull  a  quote  from  it : ok so I have no books atm bc im moving, but the first book on my phone is the dream thieves, and the line I see first is “ The Gray Man considered what it must’ve been like to live like that, always waiting for your door to be kicked in. ” what’s  a  quote  or  song  lyric  that  speaks  to  your  soul  ? : oh gosh, so many... “ I'm a walking travesty/But I'm smiling at everything ” ( therapy, all time low ), “ I imagine the tears in your eyes/The very first night I'll sleep without you ” ( roman holiday, halsey ), “ Am I the product of a problem that I couldn't change?/Got his eyes, got her hair/So do I get their mistakes? ” ( secondhand smoke, kelsea ballerini ) top  current  celebrity  crushes :  halsey, froy guiterrez, harry styles ( always ) last  movie  you  watched :  I think it was uhhhhhh miss americana on netflix? did  you  like  it  ? :  YES I loved it favorite  movie  (  s  )    of  all  time : 10 things I hate about you, newsies ( ’92 ) favorite  tv  show  (  s  )  of  all  time : she-ra, queer eye, fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood, gossip girl favorite  tv  show  that  hasn’t  ended : zoey’s extraordinary playlist favorite  series  of  books  /  novels  /  comics : the raven cycle, all for the game, the last song sports  team  (  s  )  you  rep : dallas cowboys, houston astros ( yeah I know about the scandal and I hate it, but they’re my team ), FAU owls ( my alma mater ) favorite  video  game  (  s  ) : breath of the wild, KH series favorite  youtube  channels : unus annus, daniel howell ( rip he hasn’t posted in a year ), the try guys, NPR Music, CrankGameplays ( ethans just a dork I dont even like gamer videos that much ) hobbies :  guitar, singing, being in zoom musicals ( im playing whatsername from american idiot for one in July and auditioned for a few others! ), reading what  are  the  three ��non  essential  things  you’d  bring  to  a  deserted  island  ? : my guitar, my laptop, wifi put  your  music  on  shuffle.  what  six  songs  pop  up  ? : HOLD ME TIGHT OR DONT, fall out boy; I’m Still Here, John Rzeznik; Towers, Little Mix; Way Down Hadestown, hadestown obc; Stitches, state champs (cover); Look Back, betty who personal  aesthetic : nerdy punk?  dream  vacation  ? : disneyland paris or disneyland Singapore with my gf dream  job  ? :  music teacher dream  car  ? :  one that works at this point if  i  could  live  anywhere  ,  it’d  be : austin, texas ( im about an hour away rn ) favorite  musical : OH GOSH..... the prom, bandstand, newsies, hadestown favorite  food  (  s  ) :  blueberry pancakes, red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing coffee  order :  at starbucks? venti iced chai tea latte. at dunkin? large iced vanilla coffee. at home? french vanilla coffee and caramel macchiato creamer and 2 scoops of sugar.  unwatched  stuff  in  your  netflix  /  hulu  /  etc :  netflix: sex education, the umbrella academy, end of the f***ing world, the people vs. oj simpson. hulu: portrait of a lady on fire, my friend dahmer, rocketman what’s  a  subject  you  know  too  much  about  +  never  get  tired  of  talking  about  ? : I dunno? I have a ton of useless facts on a wide range of subjects. like did you know that in 100 letters, halsey says ‘ You wrote 100 letters just for me/And I find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans/Now I'm constantly reminded of the time I was 19/Every single one's forgotten in a laundromat machine ’ and that’s actually autobiographical -- her bf at the time wrote a note and put it in a pocket of every pair of pants she owned, and she was still finding them months after the relationship ended, so she took all her pants to a laundromat and washed them so she wouldn’t have to see the letters anymore!!

uh im gaining a little bit of a following on here so i thought i would make an about me post? idk lol

my carrd: https://patheticpansy.carrd.co/#

name: alexandra ( i don’t usually go by this )

nicknames: alex, al, lex

pronouns: i prefer she/ her but i dont mind he/him/they/them etc.

stans: frank iero, pete wentz, awsten knight, otto wood, geoff wigington, mikey way, ray toro, gerard way, joe trohman, jack barakat, alex gaskarth, rian dawson, zack merrick, markiplier, crankgameplays

favourite bands: my chemical romance, fall out boy, all time low, waterparks, the used

favourite movie: scott pigrim vs the world

favourite book: its kind of a funny story

hobbies: i play guitar n thats literally my whole personality LMAO

other socials: wattpad - cqnventionalweapons

ao3 - cqnventionalweapons

twitter - patheticpansy

instagram - patheticparxie, lovelesskilljoy, angelstoashes

this is my sideblog

thats about it <3 my asks are open so pls feel free to ask sum stuff !

Let’s Get (Back) Together | l.h. (18)

Ctto of the gif above!!

AU: Parent Trap Dad!Luke

Summary: A strong love which led to a strong marriage and twin daughters. Yet in the end, it didn’t turn out so well. You strongly refuse to encounter him ever again. But what happens when both of you coincidentally send your twin daughters to the same summer camp in Florida after 10 years?

Word Count: 6.7k

Warnings: angst, mentions of sexual actions, mentions of infidelity, fighting, swearing, some fluff if you squint really hard

Long A/N: Are you shocked? Because same. So yes, I was gone for a loooong time and the reasons behind it were one, I got burnt out with ideas. two, I dealt with a lot of stress academically and mentally bec of issues with some family and friends. last, I had recently got an internship that required my full attention. But anyway, I am back!! If it weren’t for that free and exclusive show of 5sos last week, I would not have gotten inspired to pick up where we last left off Luke, (Y/N) and the twins. I love the boys so much and seeing them up close is literally a dream! If you think it’s impossible, it isn’t because I waited 6 years for a moment like that! Without further ado, here’s part 18!

I don’t own Parent Trap and its ideas. It’s only used as inspiration.

Masterlist!! → other parts are there!!

Main Series Playlist

Feedback/Constructive Criticism/Questions/Others? Here.

-

2024, Los Angeles

“I’m over this shit!” You screeched, throwing the tabloids at him you found upon grocery shopping. He was the main headline in the majority of them, where many mystery girls are always featured. You noticed that they were all younger and slimmer, not like how you ever were. This wasn’t the first time you’ve fought over tabloids these past months, and it drains and sickens you both out. 

Spicy! Luke Hemmings and 22 year old girl spotted outside singer’s studio 

Woah there! Australian singer from 5sos acting all smooth with new upcoming artist in Café Sweetener 

Exclusive! Luke Hemmings and ex Arzaylea found dancing in the same bar?!?! 

Luke took hold of the last tabloid mentioning the ex who shall not be mentioned, which was published by Perez Hilton. He’s always had a heavy dislike towards the band and told you already beforehand that. But with the influx of other material you attacked with, he’s frustrated how you were still gullible to bother with him in your marriage. 

“Fucking hell (Y/N), you know they aren’t true!” He threw it on the floor, not startling you one bit. 

“Explain yourself then, yeah? A new girl every fucking week.” With work and a recent injury in your arm from stunts, you were bombarded with stress. This rumor started out a few months ago, and you obviously shrugged it off because of outlets like starting unnecessary drama. Besides, your faith in your husband overcame it. But now it kept crawling back up, and you were sick of it. Was he being unfaithful? Is Luke really messing with you this time? 

“Alright then.” He clenched his jaw and stood upright in front of you from the couch. You had your arms crossed, and he mimicked you. “The girl from the first article is a crazy fan who I shooed off respectfully, but she wasn’t budging. The second article, yeah she was a new artist, but she is also the youngest daughter of Jack Barakat and sought me as one of her mentors in music. Last, she threw herself at me while I was getting a drink out of nowhere!” 

“The last article looks way too real to be fake! You’re lying!” You started feeling insecure, but yes, the main cover for the tabloid looked way too real to be a fake. For once, you were beginning to consider that Perez might be correct. You can’t stand that idea! “Also you’ve been distant lately too, and I’m not even sure if it’s because of work!” 

As for Luke, how dare you indirectly accuse him of infidelity he thought? Unaware of you, he’s also up to date with issues about you and one of your castmates. He never approached it because he trusts you. Though based on how the angles were fixated, it looks too real and affectionate. He’s bottled it for too long because he doesn’t know what’s real. 

“Oh babe, don’t take you’re the only one who’s been questioning that.” He hissed as he brings out his phone. Clicking on the tab, he exposed those articles to you in your face. 

Feeling Cozy?? Actress (Y/N) (Y/L/N)-Hemmings softens up to co-star, Ross Lynch on his lap 

For Film Reasons or Not?! (Y/N) (Y/L/N) on her knees for BTS idol V 

The shock in that memory was hard to forget. You were relaxing and watching some of your other co-stars jump out of a flaming car. As the car exploded, you were taken aback and Ross caught you so you wouldn’t fall. It was a private filming, so you couldn’t understand how and why that was on the main cover. “Tell me about these ones then, babe since you were confident in accusing me with the same shit.” 

And you did bluntly. “Ross caught me when the exploding car scene happened. Who wouldn’t be shook? Then for Taehyung as I prefer to call him, he accidentally dropped something while we were filming and I was nearer so I just crawled down to get it!” 

He wasn’t so convinced, so he kept retaliating. ”Ross seemed way too handsy and you know he can be a flirt! As for V, the way he viewed you on the floor made me think he had other ideas.” 

“Unless you want me to fall and get a concussion, be my guest! Also, Taehyung’s face is really like that?! The camera person there just didn’t capture the moment he got the phone and he gave a big smile after and gave his thanks!” You gave your last words, your last bits of energy almost empty. How is he so secretive now and throwing all these accusations? Of all days, why now? You just had to voice out before he gets anything else out his dumb mouth. “Nowadays, it’s like every guy I get associated with my job gets you worked up all the time!” 

Luke huffed mockingly, thinking how faulty that statement was on your behalf. “Didn’t you just lash out on me with all these different girls awhile ago? Quite the hypocrite.” 

As your anger jolts up, you knew you would blow up and the entire house would go on an entire frenzy. You didn’t want to cause any stress to the other people living here, thinking about your daughters who are definitely sleeping right now, you needed space to wrap your mind on this stupid argument. “Well, whatever then. I can’t fucking stand you right now. I need air.”

Luke’s pride was still held so high. He knew he won the argument, but you just didn’t want to admit it and he badly wanted to hear you say it. Honestly, what a dickhead move. “Pathetic, you know I’m right.”

And that line was the final straw, fuck being considerate for once and you just blew up. “And so what if you are? Today was exhausting, and I really can’t think straight because of all the work I did today for our family! Can you not be a fucking bitch?!”

“I’m the bitch?! You accused me first of being unfaithful based on stupid articles from gossip magazines! I thought we got past through that phase in our relationship where tabloids cannot mess with us anymore!”

“Well sometimes, things change! We have been fighting non-stop lately, and I really have no idea if you’re worth the trust anymore!”

“If I’m not worth the trust anymore, then why are we still together when we can always go our separate ways forever?!” He growled, not even blinking one bit. 

You gasped for a moment, not wanting to comprehend what he just implied. Luke didn’t expect to go overboard with a statement like that, but before he could even take it back, wild vocal cries from upstairs blasted around your home. Did you guys really go all in and argue that loudly to disturb the peace? 

Your motherly instincts kicked in quickly, not even excusing yourself from your husband and raced the stairs to your twins’ bedroom. Thankfully, the doors were already opened, so you quietly approached their cribs, picking up Stella first since she was making the most noise as Rebecca was sniffling along but she might break into a fit soon. 

“Oh no, little bub.” You laid her on your shoulder, cradling her up and down so she would calm down. Rubbing her tiny back too, she burped a little bit. “I’m sorry if I woke you up. Your daddy got into Mommy’s nerves today.” 

Now humming some random song you can think of to comfort her more, echoing footsteps from behind entered the room and from your side view, this person took hold of the other twin who was now beginning to doze off instead. You were still facing the opposite direction, not wanting to deal with his shit for the time being and focus on your fragile infant. But maybe you were just as fragile as her now.

“Hey, poppet.” Luke lifts up the sniffling baby, cradling her side to side for a change. She latched on to her father’s index faster than ever, not bothering to let go anytime soon. It’s a trait that she always does to anyone who carries her, making it more enjoyable to interact with her. But with what happened, Luke wasn’t pleased to make her feel discomfort. “I know you heard shouting, and I’m sorry about that and making it ruin your sleep. Daddy will fix everything so you won’t be disturbed again.”

Just as you finished your humming, Stella was completed fast asleep again as you heard her soft cries turned into snores. She might’ve drooled a bit on your bare shoulder, but it doesn’t matter. Giving a kiss on her forehead, you placed her back in your arms then laid her curled up body in the crib. One more look of her peaceful state and you seek to come after Rebecca, but she was already handled by her father by the window. This is when you make your exit and head to the kitchen for water since your throat grew dry after intense arguing and soft mumbling.

Sipping continuously, your mind is still nervously trying to wrap around what Luke spat at you awhile ago. Did he really mean what he said, that it’s best to be separate since the two of you together have been driving you both insane? Because if that was the case, that would mean-

“(Y/N).”

Your mind shifts back to your surroundings, turning around to find a frantic Luke leaning by the countertop. His hair more disheveled because of the stress, looking more tired than ever. Physically and emotionally. “What I said-”

“Did you really mean what you said?” You cut to the chase, not raising your tone anymore. “Did you actually consider that option?”

“I was mad and at the spur of the moment. I would never-”

“You didn’t answer the question.” Confronting him like this was very heavy, but he kept dodging. Even thinking of that idea gutted you, but you needed confirmation. “Have you considered getting a divorce with me?” 

He was silent because he can’t lie about that question. After being in constant quarrels for months, it messed with his work ethic and mental state too. But because he loved you so much and his daughters, he let it pass because you and him always conquered every test the world handed the two of you. Reading his actions, he was contemplating how to lay down the truth based on the way he scrunched his eyebrows and how his eyes couldn’t even look at you. Shockingly enough, you don’t blame him. Because you have thought about this option too. You were not as happy as before, having lost motivation to do what you love without any issues to encounter when you come home. What started as mini arguments on misunderstandings turned into big fights with no one winning. Almost every morning, there were no longer the sweet breakfasts and greetings because of the stress from nights before resurfaces. Ignorance in the household became common, except when it comes to your daughters. 

Still not answering, you beat him to it. “Because I actually have.”

“You’re lying,” Luke says with disbelief, gripping on the counter. “Please, let’s not talk about this.” 

“Luke, have you not noticed that we aren’t happy anymore? We fake everything to our family, friends, and everyone else. After seeing our daughters and how they reacted to us from our fighting, this doesn’t seem healthy to anyone. Also, the longest period we’ve ever spoken is right now. Because once we argue, it’s over for the night, and it became a pattern for months. Didn’t we lose our motivation to work too? Ash has been on your ass for not creating good lyrics while I’ve been more prone to injuries when I do stunts because we aren’t thinking straight.”

He hates that your eyes begin to water, the way you frustratingly brush your hair back. He hated that he hurt you and would do anything to make things better. Anything. “But (Y/N), I love you.”

You love him too so much, shit. But your well-beings together in the same area is enough to edge off a building. You can’t give him anymore hurt to him, now somehow, you’re holding him back with his music. “You and I need space. This right now and every day just distances us.” 

“We can still work this out, please.” He begs, frightened. 

“Luke, you thought about this too. We need to take care of ourselves.” Your heart pities the man you love, but it’s all too much for your plate now. 

“But who’ll take care of our daughters?” Oh yes, the million-dollar question. This is a tricky one, and you couldn’t bare handle this one. But at least this one can still be discussed in the days to come. 

“We’ll find a way to sort this through.” Luke wanted to defend his love for you and everything in it. But as he realizes that you were indeed correct of the status of your relationship, it was a stab in his heart. Add in his daughters in the equation, and he can be left for dead. There’s no way he’ll let them witness a toxic parental relationship, and that was his final wish. He truly cares for you, and if it meant this option, so be it. If happiness for you again meant this, he’ll accept it. 

“Do you know a lawyer who can handle this?” That painful answer escapes his lips, and how badly he wanted to take it back. He dreaded this outcome with you, never even thought it would happen. 

You heavily despised that he agreed to it because he knew how stubborn you can be to conclude things. But then again, the longer you stay together just worsen things especially now that you have kids. “I’ll ask Gina tomorrow about that. Goodnight, Luke.” 

Swiftly exiting the kitchen with heavy tension, you wiped all the tears on the hem of your shirt. You needed to stay strong some way, somehow. But chances are you’ll be crying yourself to sleep tonight because it’s happening and for the best, as you believe it to be. 

With Luke left with his thoughts, he cannot believe he agreed to it. He doesn’t cry much to express sadness, but the fact that he’s losing you is more than enough to crack him. He’s convinced this is all a dream, then he’ll wake up to you in his arms with the assurance that everything will be okay. But unluckily, it is all an awake occurrence. 

“Goodnight, (Y/N). Please stay.”

- - -

2034, Sydney

“Shit.”

Luke grumbles, still tired from his sleep. The culprit of his awakening would be this pounding headache that was bothersome. Rubbing his dry eyes, he unexpectedly felt a feather-like brush his arm. It startled him, rising up from his bed to see what that was.

Actually, who she was.

Nowadays, he stays in the middle of the bed to sleep, but for the first time in a long time, he stayed on the left side. Because the right side was always reserved for ...

“(Y/N).” 

You were still peacefully asleep, sleeping on your side as you favored. Your entire body was covered with the duvet, surely bare naked under because he was too. Out of unconscious instinct, he grazed a finger on your cheeks. It’s a good thing you were a deep sleeper so you wouldn’t flinch. He was hit like a bus when the memories of last night’s drunk escapade replayed in his mind, getting him to recall every gasp, position, and touch. Drunk him is more courageous, but also a risky one too. 

The purple patches on your neck and your lower jaw were a standout. If you were still married, he’d be proud, but because you aren’t, things just got more complicated. 

What’s the next step? 

He heard a short grunt from you when he brushed a few strands of hair out your face, swiping his hand away. Crap, how was he to handle this? But luckily, he was spared because you continued your slumber and lied your body down from your side. Now, he really had to stop his overthinking. Besides, it’s Sunday, and he’s in charge of breakfast. Quickly, he scurried his cabinet for a fresh set of clothes before quietly exiting his bedroom. The more he stayed, the more his mind will bombard him with questions. Sadly, leaving the room was a lose-lose situation. 

He still had you in his mind.

Being the only one awake in the kitchen made it worse. No noise to counteract those thoughts, especially since it was only 8 am. Rebecca’s usually up by 8:30, so it would be a silent 30 minutes. Sure, the sizzling of the pan cooking bacon and pancakes was there, but it was too soft. 

Might as well face them, Luke.

Last night has become an emotional awakening. He missed this kind of romance, where neither held back nor felt insecure. But then, it happened when you were intoxicated. What then? He felt a tinge of awkwardness, but also happiness. But again, it didn’t work out the first time, so what will happen the second time around? With your differences, things may deteriorate much worse, and who knows, it’ll be to the point of hatred and not allowing the girls to see each other. You being with him will be chaotic. 

But to be with you, you could start from scratch and rebuild up that love you had. He wants it to be stronger than ever, especially now your emotional maturity has grown. Once he finished placing the food in their plates and to the table, he is in need of a distraction. For sure, not involving his e-cigarette because he’s trying to preserve his health. For now. 

The first thing that he saw was his grand piano. His absolute gem, it has been too long since he last played. Maybe it can wake up you guys but in a great way. After all, you are a musical family. Besides, it’s a calming mechanism. Settling on the black bench, he gently lifts the black wooden cover so it wouldn’t creak. The white and black keys were clean yet dusty due to lack of usage, but it didn’t really bother him. Cracking his knuckles, he prepared his fingers on the necessary keys. There was a specific song that perfectly described his uncertainty, and so he pressed down on the keys and began to play along.

Meanwhile upstairs, the rustling of the leaves from outside his bedroom window put your sleeping patterns to a close. Slowly widening your eyelids open, you woke up at an unfamiliar bedroom, an empty bedside too. Not just this, the duvet felt much warmer than usual. Looking under it, you were met with the view of your nudity. 

There, a recap of last night clouded your mind.

His lips on yours, then down your neck, while his cock thrusted in and out of you while you continuously screamed his name from your wet lips. It was already blaring, but he did say the room was soundproof. Especially when he had one hand on your neck while the other linked with yours in the bed.

Wonderful? Truly. 

It sucked that he wasn’t beside you any longer, for aftercare or something that brings out your emotional softness. Last night was a brief occurrence that explained a lot. Maybe all that is left is to talk things out. Here, you were certain and happy. Quick to have sex already, but nonetheless. 

As comfy as the bed was, luring you to lay back and sleep in more, the muffled sounds of the piano roamed the room from the slightly ajar door. Interested, it hyped you enough to get up from the duvet and go downstairs, except that you were naked for starters. Since it wasn’t your room, it was an excuse to crash his closet and find any random shirt you like. Just like you used to enjoy. Also, upon seeing those marks from a mirror, there wasn’t much care you gave and just let them be. Tiptoeing down the stairs, you didn’t want to disrupt his peacefulness, and listening quietly wasn’t too bad either. Creeping on his playing or singing was never something you’d pass. 

Speaking of singing, his voice was still angelic as ever as it smoothens out along with the song. It was all too familiar, so you leaned sidewards on the stairs and listened. 

Are we better off alone, than lying to ourselves

There was angst in its message. You have heard it before but its meaning was questionable in the given situation you were in. You made sure not to overthink it too much because his voice is melodic and enchanting. With the final chords and lyrics portrayed, Luke felt a lot more sure with his thoughts. You are too delicate. If he makes a move again, it might not end well. He cannot risk that, and if he really loved you, he will let you go. Last night was almost like his goodbye to your romance. As he wanted, he wants you to be happy. 

For you, you were slowly falling back in love with him already by the simple things he does after. His back muscles flexed, showing those evident scratch marks you did, oops. His loud sighing, showing his passion for his craft. His legs also were tangled from the bottom. You were into deep for him, and you wanted him to know that you were amidst his area. Hell, you would’ve run to him and hug from behind. Maybe peck kisses on his cheeks. 

“That was amazing.” 

Shook. Luke was taken aback by your morning yet sweet voice, switching his view for the piano to the back. There you were, majestically dressed in one of his tees leaning against the walk with a genuine smile. Your silver dyed hair was still rugged in a ponytail, exposing those marks he gave which he completely forgot giving.

“Fuck, I did that?” He spoke, pointing on the crook of your neck with a crooked grin. You blushed heavily, not moving an inch to cover it up. His marks were nothing to ashamed of, especially now. You just wanted to be his again. 

“Oh, yeah. Forgot how dominant you could get, and you still have that side. Stronger than ever.” You praised, taking the last stair down. You can’t waste any more time. 

“So, last night..”

To you, it was never over. Everything just needed to be fixed with time so you can both mature emotionally.

It’s so early in the day and you were here looking like a goddamn killer queen. That just made it harder. But no, he cannot. When he sees how close you were to get to him from his seated position, it’s his chance to stop it. Because if not, his denials won’t be possible. God, he’s desiring you so much but it would be so unhealthy. 

He abruptly got up, almost hitting the keys of his piano. He was getting too overwhelmed. You, on the other hand, were about to finish that statement but surprised at his action. This was his last chance, and he unhesitatingly took it. 

“Last night was a mistake.” 

What. 

Unexpectedly completing your statement, you couldn’t believe his words. Internally, you were begging that he took it back, saying he was joking. You wanted him to crack a smile, saying that things could get better. But he didn’t.

The rebuilt happiness of your heart was deteriorating. He was hurt too saying that, but for him, it was what is best if you want this parental relationship to work. So he was actually pushing you away this time, and maybe for good. Your body still stood there speechless while your mind was wandering off and praying that he changes mind or his words. But he wasn’t done talking yet.

“Last night, we were drunk and sad. I’m sorry I took advantage of you like that.” 

You wished it was a lie. Though he gave a frown, giving you the complete opposite. Now, you had to reply, and it cannot be the truth. As things got complicated, adding yours will make things worse. 

“O-Oh, it’s fine. Sex is sex, right?” 

Not this one. 

He noticed a stutter and how your face scrunched up. It hurt how you were actually “agreeing” with him, but it has to be done. 

“Yeah, it is. - Now,” Luke tries to move on from the hard topic into a smoother one to get rid of tension, even though he resulted in the complication of your relationship. You were having a hard time to contain your emotions. Sure, it wasn’t the first time in the rodeo, but this has the most painful aftermath. Worse than cheating is this rejection. 

“Breakfast? I made cooked something since Felicia came home a little late with a certain secretary.” 

“Did you mean mine?” You swayed over to where his arms lead you, which was the dining room. Taking a seat on the opposite side of Luke’s, you quickly poked at a pancake and put some butter and syrup like you were a little girl again. With heartbreak, there’s always food as an instant comfort. 

“Yeah, I’ve actually called it the day I met her. She’s different from the boys and a few girls she’s seen.” He speaks highly of Gina, a hype of pride you gain from it. 

“Huh, I thought the exact same way. Don’t tell them I told you this, but I caught them making out when I came home from strolling Sydney and you were still in the beach.” Sharing embarrassing stories was another distracting mechanism of yours, though you had no shame in bringing this up. Luke choked on his coffee slightly before laughing a fit. 

“Oh shit! I’m guessing you were scarred?” He says, unbothered. It was a slap how he started treating things like it was back to normal, but if it is how you guys can cooperate, then so be it. 

Perhaps him pushing away this time is your karma for having pushed him away first all those years ago. 

“Oh my god, yeah. I instantly shielded my eyes when I got home! - But hey, at least they’re happy, you know?”

“Yeah, who would have known? My nanny, your secretary?” He banters from the other side as he eats. 

Not so soon after, a chorus of cheery “good mornings” bounced the walls. It was none other than the girls. They already looked refreshed, having showered and dressed in better clothing that isn’t pajamas. How good for them, and how you envied them.

“Morning, girls.” You greeted back, receiving good morning kisses from them as the both of them sat beside you, where Stella was to your left, Rebecca on your right, then Luke across you. He smiled at his daughters’ entrance, passing them the food he cooked. 

“Ah, dad’s cooking has gotten better!” Rebecca compliments, pouring more syrup on her pancakes. 

“Believe it or not, but when we were younger, he and I almost burned down the house when we tried to cook.” You shared a bit of your past, catching him get embarrassed at the remembrance. Never have you shared much to Stella and most especially to Rebecca, so it’s a start. Maybe with this, you can make him change his mind. 

Just maybe.

“Oh my!” Stella burst out laughing, picturing how horrific that must have been. 

“Wow, what character development dad’s had.” Rebecca voiced out, silently applauding her father, who rolled his eyes. 

“Because of that, we hired a butler and a housekeeper, who became a nanny.” He played along.

In sync, two young women, who looked like they just woke up by the stretch their arms out and rub their eyes joined the scene. 

“Oh look, one of them is here.” Luke added on, directing his attention to the ginger-haired woman in her pajamas. “Good morning, Felicia. - Good morning, Gina.”

“Morning, boss.” Felicia says, walking towards the kitchen to prepare herself a cup of coffee. 

“Hey, Gina.” You say to your sleepy secretary, who was sat at the high chair at the island.

“Hi, Miss (Y/N).” She replied, then receives a cup of coffee from Felicia out of the blue before she sits beside her. 

Stella noticed how sleepy Gina is, which is contrasting to her usual hyper self in the morning. She wasn’t so used to it. “Hey Gina, you look hammered.” 

“Ah, I just did a lot of things yesterday and I had a hard time sleeping. Nothing serious, really.”

“Or someone.” Luke mumbled too loudly, getting you to shout “Hey! Shh.”

Felicia caught onto it and teased back. “I’m not the only one who got frisky, boss.” 

Holy, did she...

“Dad, what does she mean by that?” Rebecca asks naively, curious by such comebacks.

You were stuck in the middle, but the way he was out of words to console her with, you stepped in. “Oh, they’re just playing around, poppet. Don’t worry about it.” 

Thank goodness you saved him from answering that, he thought. It was too soon to talk about it. It looked as if you were not affected prior, which was somehow reassuring to him. But he would not deny that it stung to confront everything like that. You, on the other hand, were in pained, but what can you do? Karma came and doing her job. And you freely allowed it.

-

“Call me whenever you want to, regardless of the time difference, alright? Tell me about your days and about anything, okay?” He reminds her, as he was knelt to her height and rubbing her jacket covered back. Stella kept nodding to her father, her frowns hurting to his ego. Letting you go meant letting her go, his other half. A bi-continental relationship is bound to be hard, and it’s not typical for an eleven-year-old. 

“I will, dad. Visit LA soon, okay?” 

“I will, bub.” He kisses her forehead and brings her in for a tight hug, one that should be worthwhile. “Take care of yourself and your mom, alright? She needs you. - I’ll miss you, Stella.” 

“Okay, dad. I’m gonna miss you so much too.” As their intimate moment reached its end, you were still bidding your goodbye to your youngest twin, which was as similar to being ripped open. She tried her best not tear up at the slightest, but who wouldn’t? You’re her mother, after all. You never wanted her to think that she was less loved than her sister all these years. Rebecca was hugging you with all this love she had saved for you, where there was sadness that went along with it because you were leaving again. 

“I don’t want you to go.” She begs against your chest, her tears finally spilling down as time gets to her faster. You hid it all in, the sadness and rejection. It’s saved for another time. All you wanted was to reassure her no matter what happens. 

“I don’t want to either, poppet.” Her quiet whimpers stung like alcohol pressing on a wound, just like the time you left her all those years ago as a baby. The only difference now is that she knew why she felt that way. Time felt slower to truly cherish it, but time was moving much faster than you both realized. It was until Gina’s hand on your shoulder that disconnected this maternal bond, with a knowing look. Her eyes were just as sad as yours to break it, but it was time to shift back to reality. The one that you wished never lived in. “Miss (Y/N), we must go.” 

Melancholy was her tone before she exited the front door and to the Uber door that she booked, where a glum Felicia was bidding her goodbyes. “Message me when you land, okay?” Felicia asked with urgency, wiping some growing tears under Gina’s eyelids. 

“I wish it wasn’t like this.” Gina, still composed, pulled in Felicia by the waist for a hug. 

“I know, babe. I know.” 

Back to you and Rebecca, she hasn’t let go still even when Gina tapped you. She was afraid of that separation anxiety hitting back in only when she learned to suppress it after knowing the real truth about your past relationship. This time, it will be stronger. As the brave girl that she is, she unlinked her arms around you to take in another look at her beautiful mother. Remembering that ripped picture from camp, she studied your features and how they never really changed over time. She believes that you and Luke were showered numerously in some sort of fountain of youth, and the fact that you were the real deal and not just a tangible photo anymore, how delicate you were to her. All that maternal connection that she’s been wishing and missing out on for so long was granted by the heavens even if it was limited. “Mom, I-I love you so much.” 

“I love you so much, Rebecca.” It would be a lie to say that this moment did not sting like a bitch. Your words comforted Rebecca enough to build her strength to lessen her grip on you, slowly letting go of your embrace. How mature she has grown in these past weeks, and how you have to find a way to not miss out on anything with her. “Poppet, talk to me whenever you can alright? I want to know how you are and everything else.” 

Grazing her cheek, she topped her hand on yours. Half dry and wet it is, she nodded repeatedly. “I-I will. I promise“

“Good girl. You were raised well.” Leaving a kiss on her forehead, there behind her was a much taller and broad figure whom you can’t ever ignore. Even with what happened, acting civil is a must. For the girls. Stella and Rebecca, from your peripheral view, didn’t say a word as they faced each other, a perfect reflection. Everything was covered in a hug. Perhaps everything they wanted to say has been said, and that last contact for now is the only thing to seal everything. 

There you were, facing him one last time. He can read the pain that he caused, but he can’t risk it. But with you, you already are on the brink of letting him go forever. That rejection and loss of hope took a toll on your heart, and you can’t force him to change after what he went through and moreover, you can’t force him to love you again. 

“Well.” He began, fumbling on his jean pockets and not leaving his eyes on you. He wanted to absorb this beauty before you’re gone, focusing on every detail like a painting. “Here we are.” 

The way he looks at you just makes your heart ache more, you couldn’t even look straight with the urge to cry. “Luke, I-“ 

“Take care of yourself, okay?” You will try. 

“I will, you too alright?” You say bluntly. He wasn’t convinced, and he added on. 

“Come visit when you can too please.” If he can’t have you, at least seeing each other from time to time is better, right? 

“I-I need space first, and I got a lot of work when I get back. I’ll make Stella visit during her break.” That was a half-lie, but you were just too hurt to answer properly. Now, you don’t want to see him until you have healed fully. He has ruined you, but all he can do is nod. 

“I’ll be looking forward to that.” Moments of silence tensed your conversation, taking in another view of the lovely man in front of you. Shit, this is going to be hard, but you believe in yourself. You did a decade, you can handle more. Luke wished there was more time to spend with the family, but life is equally unfair to everyone. 

“Miss (Y/N).” Gina announced one last time, switching to her professional self again. Turning to your shoulder, your daughters were already waiting by the car door with Felicia on the other side with Gina. Watching you both so heartbroken yet reluctant was painful. But they are not in a position to intervene. 

“Well,” Luke picked up the conversation that was almost dying. “You don’t wanna miss your flight, do you?” 

“Yeah, sure can’t.” It’s like deja-vu made an appearance. Except when he brushed his lips to your cheek and pecked it, you froze and your heart was racing again. 

“Be careful.” That can mean anything, but you opt not to overthink anymore. Putting yourself back together, you nodded and abruptly disconnected yourself from his presence. You needed to breathe, intaking deep ones on the way to the car and finally meeting up at the car per Gina’s request. She was already inside, and so was Stella who wore her earphones to drift away from her heavy surroundings with lord knows what music the kids are listening to today. By the other car door open, there Rebecca was to bid goodbye for a while. Giving her one last hug and a peck on her cheek, she helped you settle inside the car and closed the door for you. 

As much as you would want to wave goodbye like on any trip you go to, this was a hard pass. Besides, you know it wouldn’t be the last time to see Rebecca. The car quickly has the engine going, and the Uber driver vacates from the front yard of the house. Not looking back, you slouched on your chair and like your daughter, put your earphones to disconnect. Just let the music be the one to soothe your state.

Fast forward, there were no paps at the airport because no one knew about your revised departure details. It was a lot more peaceful and fast, though people did notice you and only gave you small waves because they respect your privacy. Thank god for those kinds of people, really. 

Finally, you settled on your airplane seat, first-class because you can. Stella was on her phone, texting whom you assume is her twin. But unknown to you, it was actually Alex. She kept a pout the whole time, dreading the flight but there’s no turning back. The cabin crew then played and demonstrated the safety rules of this flight. Instructing that your phones must be on airplane mode at this time, your fingers curling on your cellphone meant to tap on the settings application in order to activate the airplane mode as requested by the pilot. But your thumb slipped for the smoothness of the screen because you were ready to drift to sleep your feelings away, clicking on the call button. 

Dumb move at first, but when it opened, one option caught your attention before you could exit. Voicemail. You have inactivated it years ago because most business calls would be first forwarded to Gina, though there was another reason why you did it. There laid all those unsaid voice messages from the decade you divorced Luke, happy and sad. Since you never contacted in that period because of the pain and dislike, that was like an outlet that served as his proxy. It felt so wrong, but mostly everything you said were updates on Stella growing up and nothing more. 

At this point, you needed to move on with your life. These voicemails were secrets, so it’s best to be transparent with him and show that you’ve always cared for them from afar. Gathering your courage, you sent them all before tapping into airplane mode. This weight in your chest lessened a bit, and it just may be a great start. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned off the Fasten Seat Belt sign, and you may now move around the cabin. However we always recommend to keep your seat belt fastened while you’re seated. In a few moments, the flight attendants will be passing around the cabin to offer you hot or cold drinks, as well as a light meal. Alcoholic drinks are also available at a nominal charge/with our compliments. Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. Thank you.”

- - -

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Here I Am, There You Are Pt. 12

Jack Barakat x OC ‘Rachel has been best friends with Alex, Jack, Rian, and Zack since high school. What happens when one of them gets married?’

Part 12

I left the bathroom after just having finished doing my makeup. Jack and I were at my parents’ house for a week. A very busy week. It wasn’t just for a fun little holiday like back when we celebrated Christmas with my family. This time we actually had places to be and things to do. Afterall, we were planning a wedding. We had decided on a date, giving us just over a year to plan the whole thing. And we had chosen to have it back home in Maryland instead of out in LA. It was just easier for all of our family to come out there. While we were still very early on in the process, we did have to choose a venue, especially since we wanted to get married during the busy fall season.

So, Jack and I thought it would be useful to combine that with a trip we were going to take anyway back to Baltimore for our high school reunion. It seemed like a good plan on paper, and it wasn’t a horrible idea in execution either. It was just pretty hectic. At least we had a day to do nothing after the reunion. So, that was something. When I pushed the door to my bedroom open and walked in, I froze and stared at Jack. “Fuck me, you look good.” It wasn’t like he had dressed up and looked very fancy, but he had put in a little work to look a little more smart and less casual. He was still wearing his usual black jeans, but he had dropped the t-shirt or sweatshirt for a white button-up. I loved it whenever he wore a button up shirt. It just did something. “You know I’d love to,” he grinned at me and tried to wink, but failed just as miserably as always. “But Alex and Lisa are expecting us.” “Do you think I’m underdressed?” I asked him, looking down at my own clothes with a frown. I was wearing a beige cami top, blue jeans, and a nice pair of nude heels. To keep myself warm I was just wearing a cardigan that I could easily take off as well. “No, you’re good,” Jack told me, fixing his hair in the mirror that was also the sliding door on the closet. I knew that he honestly meant it, but it still didn’t feel right. “It’s not working. It’s the jeans.” I closed the door to the bedroom and walked in further, kicking off my shoes and pulling off my jeans in frustration. It was just a high school reunion, I didn’t need to look like my best self, I wasn’t worried about that. I didn’t have anything to prove. But I didn’t want to be the only one there in blue jeans either. So, changing was the only option to make myself feel good. I rushed over to the suitcase Jack and I were sharing and bent over to start rummaging through the clothes I had brought with me just to find another pair of bottoms that could work. “Now you’re the one turning me on.” Jack took a sharp breath in. I snapped my head in his direction and saw him staring at my barely-covered butt. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it. I threw the balled up shirt that I was holding at him. “Hey! Don’t look at my ass!” “Kind of hard not to,” he laughed, tossing the shirt back in my direction. “You’re gross.” I folded the shirt and put it back in its place before pulling out some pants for myself. Jack finally broke his gaze and started smiling like an idiot before he even said anything. “I’m not gross, I’m Jack.” “Alright, no need to start with dad jokes yet.” I shook my head and got back up. I stepped into the trouser’s legs and pulled it on. He pouted. “But it’s fun.” I just tucked my shirt into of my pants. The white high-waisted wide leg trousers were a much better choice. They usually were something I’d wear to work, but the vibe was slightly similar to this whole reunion thing. Formal, but not too formal. If I wore a work shirt, it would have been too formal. The cami top just toned it down a lot. “Is this any better?” I asked and twirled around for Jack. “There was nothing wrong with what you were wearing before,” he gestured to the jeans crumpled up on the floor. “But, yes, it does work better.” “Good.” I nodded and sat down on the bed to put my shoes back on. It didn’t take too long, so I acted like I didn’t notice Jack checking the time on his phone. I knew we were a little behind schedule, but I also knew Alex. He wasn’t going to be ready if we came on time. Or, he would be ready, but not completely. Like, he’d suddenly have to fix his hair because he forgot or something. “Alright, let’s go,” I announced as I jumped back up onto my feet. I took hold of Jack’s hand and started dragging him with me as if he was the one keeping us waiting. On the way out, I grabbed my purse, and pulled him along to the hallway. Out there, we ran into Ethan who had a lollipop in his mouth. He stared at us and I stared right back. It was his last week before he left for college and he had his own party to go to. “Looking good,” I complimented, still holding Jack’s hand. Ethan shrugged and pulled out the lollipop. “I’ll probably change again before I leave.” “It runs in the family,” Jack commented, giving my hand a little squeeze. “Okay, no need to judge,” I defended and tugged on his arm before wishing Ethan luck one last time. “Don’t get too drunk!” Ethan scoffed and walked into his bedroom, “like I’d ever do that.” Jack and I went downstairs after that and said goodbye to my parents. They were probably going to be asleep once we came back from this reunion. Not only would it end pretty late, we still had to bring Alex and Lisa back home afterwards. It was a clear perk for them to be friends with me. I didn’t drink, so I was the designated driver. Jack certainly seemed to enjoy not having to discuss who got to drink when. We took my mom’s car and I forced Jack to drive to the Alex and Lisa’s and the venue. My argument was that I was going to have the drive his drunk ass home later. It worked. Usually, I’d take Ethan’s car to get around when I needed to drive while I was at home. But he was obviously going to be using it to get to his party. Once we got to Alex and Lisa’s, they had just finished getting ready. As soon as we rang their doorbell it was already pretty clear that Lisa had claimed me for the night. We hadn’t seen each other since before the engagement. There was a lot of catching up to do. She even somehow convinced me to sit with her in the back while Alex took the passenger seat. Then, once we entered the large hall where the event was taking place, Lisa immediately pulled me along with her to a group of her friends. She probably thought she was doing me a favour. Afterall, I knew these girls back in high school as well. But to call them my friends as well now would just be a lie. Lisa always stayed close to them throughout college and she stayed on the east coast so she always had contact with them. I found new friends during college and moved to the west coast. I only really stayed friends with the guys because they’d often be on the west coast. Seriously, the last time I saw these girls was at Lisa’s wedding and before that it was probably some party during the summer of 2006. I didn’t feel like I really fit in despite the fact that they were trying to include me. It was just… they were Lisa’s friends, not mine. They talked about things that didn’t really interest me. Don’t get me wrong, I also enjoyed renovating a house and getting engaged, but I couldn’t talk about that type of stuff for hours. Honestly, I preferred Jack’s weird jokes just a little more. I managed to get away from the group by saying I was going to go get a drink. The room was full of tables and there were people everywhere. Our entire class was practically here and many people had also taken plus ones. By now, there were already quite a few people who had gotten married and even had kids. It was strange seeing people I remembered as irresponsible teenagers as adults now (myself included). I had seen Alex, Jack, and Rian grow up with me, so that was just a little different. I went over to the table where all the food and drinks were. There were many different wines and glasses already filled. Apparently somebody who helped organise our reunion now owned a winery and supplied all of the wines. It was absolutely absurd to me. But then again, high school reunions were there to show off, weren’t they? I skipped past all the wine and just grabbed one of the glasses of water when I noticed somebody taking a glass of red wine next to me. I looked over to see none other than my high school boyfriend. He was already looking back at me with a big smile on his face. “Rachel, hey!” He greeted now that he had caught my attention. “Hey, Chris.” I gave him a small wave. Although he was my ex-boyfriend, I actually preferred talking to him than going back to Lisa’s group. We didn’t really end on a bad note, but it also didn’t end all that great either. I had been the one that broke up with him after we started at our respective universities. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do long distance with him, I just felt so young and like there was still so much to come. But, mainly, when he told me about his new friends and he was talking about this one girl like she was the best person he’d ever met, I felt like I was giving him an unfair chance. So, I broke up with him. He got mad and was pretty upset. It wasn’t like I enjoyed it either, but it was the best for both of us. I just hoped he now knew that I had made the right decision. “How’re things going?” he asked me as he followed me to one of the nearby high top tables. “Pretty good.” I nodded, putting my drink down on the table. “I’m still out in LA. Working as an editor-in-chief at a magazine.” “Oh, nice!” He reacted, giving me an approving look. “Didn’t you always want a job in that direction?” “Yeah, yeah I did.” I was relatively impressed that he remembered. But then again, he had always been quite a supportive boyfriend back at school. “What about you? How are you?” “Yeah, I’m good too!” He took a sip of his wine and put the glass back down on the table. “I actually dated that girl back in college for a bit, but we broke up eventually. And I own my own company right now.” “Oh…?” I raised an eyebrow to get him to continue. “And that’s going…?” “I’m not rich yet,” he confessed as if that was the only measure of success. I laughed and shook my head at him. “Yeah, that tends to be pretty difficult to achieve.” “I know right,” he played along, “who would have guessed?” It was nice talking to somebody who didn’t just talk about kids or weddings or this ‘adorable’ party they went to. There was a reason I was once in love with this guy. He was the person I had lost my virginity to. Sure, I had done things with people before (for example, that blowjob I had given Alex), but he was the real deal. I didn’t have any of those feelings for him anymore, but I was always going to appreciate him. But, unfortunately, high school reunions always have to be a little awkward. “I just want to say, there’s no hard feelings anymore for you breaking up with me,” he told me. “That’s good. I’m glad.” I smiled and took a drink from my water. What else was I supposed to say? “I mean it,” he confirmed and slipped his hand onto my right hand. “No hard feelings.” I stared at our hands and quickly retracted mine. Of course. I chuckled awkwardly. “Oh.” “What?” he chuckled back, noticing the rejection but definitely trying to play it off. “Please don’t just be nice to try and sleep with me.” For some reason that was my argument instead of immediately telling him I was engaged. Maybe it was because I really didn't want Chris just talking to me to get in my pants again. “Why would I do that?’ he asked, still trying to act like he never made a move. I gave him a look. He wasn’t just going to downplay it like that. I knew exactly what he was doing. “Well, I’m assuming you’re single, at least based on the fact that you’re doing this. If you’re not, then it’s so much worse. But you’re here thinking you can hook up with your ex-girlfriends. But you know no ex would just jump at the opportunity. Or at least, you know now because we’ve been here for an hour and a half and you’ve just started talking to me. So, you’re trying to be nice, trying to spark old feelings in me or something.” He stared at me for a second, taking in the process I had just explained. “Okay. You’ve always known me well.” “It’s kind of sad, really,” I told him with as much honesty as possible. We were in our thirties. “But is it working?” He still tried his chances. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my back and body behind me. I didn’t even need to check to know that it was Jack. When he said something, it was only a confirmation to me that it wasn’t another guy trying to get with me. “Is what working?” Chris didn’t even try to hide it. Afterall, Jack used to have a certain reputation. “Just working on my flirting to hook up at a school reunion skills.” “You know she’s engaged, right?” Jack made clear as I held up my left hand to show off my ring. I wasn’t too worried. Jack wasn’t the overly jealous type. He didn’t like other guys flirting with me, but he did trust me. “I should have guessed,” Chris said as he gestured towards my hand. It wasn’t like I had been hiding it from him. My hand had been on the table the entire time. “Who’s the lucky guy?” I looked up at Jack and smiled. Just thinking about marrying him made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I patted his cheek with one hand and pressed a kiss to the other cheek. “I did that.” Jack pointed at the ring, but it could definitely be taken in another way. I held my hand out with my palm facing upward to get a high five from him. Once he hit it, he held on for a bit longer. “Wait.” Chris seemed confused. Not about what we were saying, but the exact details. “Was this some sort of pact? Like, if you’re not in a relationship at thirty, you’ll get married?” “No,” I quickly corrected before rumours would start spreading, “we’ve been together for a few years.” “Huh.” He gave a nod, but seemed like he was overthinking everything. “I’m sorry, congrats. I just wouldn’t have expected it.” I felt like I knew where he was coming from. So, I decided to put his worries to rest while the hand Jack first had on my back slid to my side and he held me closer. “It’s a relatively new thing. Don’t worry, I didn’t have feelings for Jack when we were together.” We were each other’s first loves. I didn’t want him to think any of that wasn’t ever true. While I didn’t exactly like that he was trying to sleep with me again now, I didn’t want to ruin that for him. If I found out Chris had been pining after somebody else while we were supposedly in love, I would have been upset myself no matter how long ago that all ended. A first love was special. “I can’t say the same,” Jack mumbled and kissed the top of my head. “Oh, I know,” Chris laughed, seeming like he felt more at ease now. To be honest, I would have felt very disconcerted if I found out he was now engaged to one of his best girl friends from back when we were dating. Jack let out a deep breath. “I feel like I should beat you up for hitting on my fiancée.” Although the word fiancée made me grin, the rest of his sentence didn’t. I turned around hin shock. “Oh my god, how much have you had to drink?” “This will be my fifth.” He held up his glass of white wine. My eyes went wide, but he was quick to defend himself. “But these glasses are small and it’s almost been two hours. I’m still good.” “I don’t think you want to fight me,” Chris told Jack. “Just because we’ll both be in pain and defeated. I can’t take you, but I don’t think you can take me. Neither of us are fighters.” “Hmm… alright.” Jack nodded yet squinted his eyes. “But if I see you trying to flirt with her again…” “Hey, I don’t mess with another man’s girl.” Chris held up his hands in defense. “... Or another girl’s girl…” I interjected, reminding the boys that I was also an important factor here. “And I don’t flirt with anybody who isn’t the guy I’m marrying next year.” Eventually, Chris said goodbye and probably went off to find somebody else to hook up with. Although I had been his first love and I had lost my virginity to him, I hadn’t been his first girlfriend. He had been with a few girls before me. If I knew those girls now, I would have warned him who to approach and who not to approach. Hopefully, he knew to be a bit more careful now. I just sat with Jack and Alex and their friends. Jack was going through glasses of wine like it was some sort of life source while I continued to sip on water. He was going at quite a steady pace and was slowly getting drunk. Or, actually, not so very slowly. But everybody around him was keeping up quite well, so it wasn’t very noticable. They were all loud and getting a bit obnoxious. When the conversation didn’t start making much sense to me anymore, I got up and went to the bathroom. After I washed my hands and fixed my hair, I left the bathroom and bumped into another person I recognised. Well, I recognised most people here, but I actually had spoken to this person before. He wasn’t an ex, nor was he really a friend. Maybe the best way to describe him was as an acquaintance. Either way, he had changed a lot. “Tyler?” I questioned to make sure that this was the person I thought it was. “Rachel, hi!” he exclaimed in return and gave me a hug. “No way…” I looked at him, still not believing my eyes. Tyler was the kid who sat next to me in Biology, the nerdy kid who got straight As and never went to a party. He was awkward and scrawny. The guy in front of me, however, was hot. He built up some muscle and ditched his plain clothes for a fitting suit. His hair was no longer a curly mess. It had been styled to make him look runway ready. He smiled softly at me and brushed some of his hair out of his face. “I’ve been getting that reaction a lot today.” “You look great, though!” I told him again so he wouldn’t dismiss all the comments. “Well, I’m not the only one.” He winked and gestured to me. I brushed it off, deciding not to go down the road of us just complimenting each other’s appearance. “You know, I searched all over for you during our graduation but couldn’t find you.” “Really?” he looked shocked but also pleasantly surprised. “I’m sorry, I left right after the ceremony.” “Yeah. You’re probably the only reason I graduated,” I confessed without shame. “I would have failed biology without you. I know I was a sucky lab partner and let you do most of the project all by yourself. Not many people knew, or even know now, but I was close to having a mental breakdown. My grandpa and my cousin who I was very close to passed away in the span of a week and my grades plummeted. If you hadn’t carried the project, I would have probably failed so many classes an not just Biology.” “I didn’t know at all,” he shook his head. “People were telling me I was insane for letting you make me do most of the work, but I was wearing rose-coloured glasses. I mean, you were my partner, it was anybody’s dream. I’m glad I could help.” I was happy that he wasn’t mad at me for being such a bitch back then. I barely did anything, all I did was contribute a tiny bit to the report, I didn’t do any of the hard work. Personally, I would have been pissed. Usually, I wouldn’t be the girl to slack, but I wasn’t doing well at all back then. “If there’s ever any way I can make it up to you, please do tell me.” I hoped to show my gratitude. “Well…” He gave me a shy smile and scratched the back of his head. “If you would like to go out with me sometime…” I sighed and held up my ring yet again that evening. “I’m sorry, I’m actually engaged.” “Oh, shit, I’m sorry!” He quickly apologised. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” “No, no, it’s okay!” I quickly said. “I’m sure that if I was single, I would have said yes. You were always nice to me.” “I’m not sure what to think about that,” he chuckled, cocking his head to the side. “Seventeen-year-old me would be freaking out, but now it just seems like I’m too late.” “A bit, yes,” I told him honestly. I probably wouldn’t have said yes back in high school, but if he had said something before Jack and I started dating, I would have probably gone for it. “So, is your fiancé here?” he asked next. “Actually, it’s Jack.” “Jack…?” He asked, no clue who I was talking about. “Barakat,” I clarified. “Oh, shit!” He gasped in surprise. “Well, that put things in perspective. I totally have a chance as well. Not with you, but others, of course.” “Hey, don’t worry about that. You’re a good looking and nice guy, you’ll find somebody. I thought I was a lost cause until Jack made a move, and then it just felt right.” “Oh, no, I’m not worried about it,” he dismissed. “Just knowing that you would have said yes and that Jack managed to do it, gives me the confidence boost I needed.” “Okay, alright,” I laughed. I wouldn’t have expected him to still be so self-conscious with the person he seemed to be now. “Well, I’m going to go back to Jack before he drinks so much he blacks out.” “Does he still do that?” Taylor asked. “Not too often. He’s just surrounded by all these old friends right now.” I didn’t want to seem like I was just making excuses for him. “Since I don’t drink, he always checks what I’m cool with. I didn’t really mind today.” “Okay,” he nodded, looking at me like he was trying to catch me in a lie. But there was no lying on my part. “Well, if you need help carrying him home, you know where to find me.” “Thanks, Taylor.” I gave him a supportive pat on the arm. “It was nice seeing you.” I stayed with Jack for the rest of the night. I didn’t want to seem like I depended on him, but I really wasn’t feeling Lisa’s friends and I was starting to get the vibe that other guys were trying to get with me. It was quite a compliment, but I was in a happy relationship now. I didn’t exactly need more people talking to me just in hope that I’d go home with them. Eventually, it started to get pretty late. Most of the people here had already left, especially the people with kids back at home. It was quite a gradual trickle of people exiting through the double doors. Jack’s group of friends, however, didn’t dwindle in size much as the night progressed. It was one in the morning when I decided I really couldn’t take much more. Everybody around me was wasted, including Jack. He was speaking complete nonsense. It got to the point that I even had to help him get to the car. It was a little annoying, but I did sign myself up for it. I dropped off Alex and Lisa at their house and then continued on to my parents’ house. Jack got out of the car before I could even take off my seatbelt. He made it all the way to the front door without stumbling, but then he had to wait for me to lock the car and unlock the door for him. As soon as that front door went open, he managed to run into the shoe rack. “Hey, quiet down,” I scolded a helped himself stabilise by putting my hand on his back, “my parents are asleep.” I was the only thing that kept him up as he kicked his shoes off. Luckily, he knew better than to go upstairs without me. So, he waited while I took off my own shoes. Then eventually, I stayed behind him as he went up the stairs and I steered him into the bathroom. If we’d go into the bedroom, he’d pass out immediately. I turned on the light and closed the door behind us so my parents wouldn’t wake up from the water running or something. The first thing I did was lift the toilet lid. “Alright, go pee,” I instructed Jack and pointed at the toilet. He just groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. “I don’t wanna.” “Are you sure about that?” I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms. There was no way I was going to get to get ready for bed before Jack was asleep at this rate. “I don’t need to,” he grumbled and pouted at me. “Come on…” I slowly walked up to him before undoing his belt. “You can do it!” “I don’t need to!” he whined a little louder. But I knew better than that. First of all, Jack always used the toilet before bed. Second of all, he had had a lot to drink. And third of all, most of those drinks were alcoholic. It was a disaster waiting to happen. He’d be too drunk to get to the bathroom quietly by himself later and I’d be damned if he wet the bed. Not that he ever did, but he also hadn’t been this drunk in very long. I popped the button and unzipped his jeans for him. “Sit.” He huffed in annoyance, but pushed his jeans and boxers down to his thighs before sitting down on the toilet. Because he was so stubborn, he just sat there staring at the wall in front of me. I just went over to the sink and picked up his toothbrush. After putting some toothpaste on it, I ran it under the water. And that’s when Jack broke and he sighed in relief. Of course I had been right. I just rolled my eyes and crouched down in front of him as he was peeing. I honestly didn’t care, all I needed to do was get him ready for bed. It was like he was my toddler or something. “Open up,” I told him much like a dentist would. This time, he did it without needing any extra convincing. I stuck the toothbrush into his mouth and held his jaw with my other hand before I started brushing his teeth for him. There was no way I was going to let him breathe out his alcohol breath all over me the entire night. I probably didn’t do it perfectly, but it was better than nothing. Jack kicked off his jeans while he was still on the toilet. When we were both done, I took the toothbrush from his mouth and he got back up and put his boxers back on. While I cleaned the toothbrush, he actually flushed the toilet, which was more than expected. Right after, he came to me to spit out the toothpaste froth. “Let’s get you to bed.” I rubbed his arm softly and pecked him on his lips. He smiled down at me goofily. “I love you.” “I love you,” I replied and kissed his cheek this time. I followed him to the bedroom, not turning on the light this time. He climbed in himself, but I tucked him in. Yet again, I kissed him on the cheek to wish him goodnight. And then I slowly started to back away. But I never really got to take a proper step backwards. “Aren’t you coming to cuddle?” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. “I still have to brush my own teeth and get changed,” I whispered back, running my fingers through his messy hair. “Hmm.” He accepted my answer and snuggled further into the pillow. But he wasn’t going to sleep just yet. He actually turned slightly to look at me. “Hey, Rach?” “Yeah?” I sat on the edge of the bed so I didn’t have to keep bending over weirdly. “Let’s make a baby.” I giggled softly and shook my head. “One day.” “No,” he sighed in annoyance, “now.” “How about after we get married?” He stuck out his bottom lip, but eventually gave in. “Okay, fine.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead and stood up. Before I even left the room, I could already hear Jack’s breathing deepening, telling me he fell asleep. I sneaked out quietly and tiptoed to the bathroom, now careful not to wake up three people in this house. Although I was sure Jack wasn’t going to wake up soon with the alcohol in his system, I didn’t know whether or not my parents had been woken up by us already. Even if we had, I didn’t want to keep them awake. However, while I was as silent as I could possibly be, there was somebody who wasn’t as good at it. As I passed the stairs, I heard the front door being clumsily but quietly closed. I stopped and looked down to make sure that it was Ethan and not some intruder. In the darkness, I saw his figure trying to creep around stealthily. He just looked like an idiot to me. Once he got to the stairs he looked up and saw me. His movements halted completely and he just stared at me like a deer caught in the headlights. “Hey.” I gave him a single nod to show that I could, indeed, see him. “Hey,” he said back but still didn’t move an inch. I waited for a few seconds, but he still didn’t do anything. “Are you just gonna stand there or are you going to come up?” It was like he only realised then that he was stationary. I stayed there, feeling like I had to just in case. He started to go upstairs, but he just completely mistepped. I watched and couldn’t do anything but watch him face-plant into the steps. “Ethan!” I exclaimed as quietly as possible and started to rush down the steps. But he stopped me from coming down by slowly pushing himself up and giving me a sloppy thumbs up. “No, I’m good. I’m okay.” “Are you sure?” I was actually worried, it looked really painful. “All good,” he brushed it off and started up the stairs again. The way he was having too much trouble keeping his balance just confirmed that he was drunk as well. I wasn’t sure if he was more drunk than Jack, but he definitely couldn’t play it off as well. It was pretty concerning, but also quite funny. I had never seen Ethan like this before. He stopped right in front of me and continued to try and play it off, almost slipping down the stairs again when he leaned against the railing. “What’s up?” “I think I should ask you that,” I laughed as he was swaying quite heavily. He looked around to see if anybody else was here and then beckoned me to get closer, trying his best to whisper but failing. “I’m pretty drunk.” “I can tell,” I nodded back, deciding to humor this. “I–” he brought his fist up to his mouth as he burped. “I had quite a few–” The poor boy didn’t even get to finish his sentence. He suddenly pushed past me and ran into the bathroom. It was much closer than the bathroom in his bedroom. He couldn’t have made that extra distance. When I entered the bathroom right after him, he was already on his knees, spewing up all the shit he had to drink into the toilet. I did feel for him. Really. It was his own fault, but it also wasn’t fun to see my baby brother like this. So, out came my skills to take of drunk people again. I had held back Anna’s hair quite a few times back in high school, but she had done the same for me as well, especially when hangovers started becoming worse and turning into a horrible intolerance. So, I got down beside him, and rubbed his back softly. “Fu-uck,” he cried into the toilet bowl before he retched yet again. “It’s okay, just get it out, it will make you feel better,” I promised him. I had been there and done that. The heavy nights that didn’t end in vomiting ended with the worst morning after instead. “Don’t tell mom,” he begged with tears in his eyes. “You know I’m going to have to, right?” “Don’t tell he–” he heaved again. I didn’t want him to worry about that. Of course I was going to tell her, I couldn’t not tell her. Not only did what was going on right now probably wake her up, it would be better for her to know before she found out herself. With Anna and I, she always found out. We’d sneak in and not make a single sound, and our mom would still know the next morning. Call it mother’s instinct. Especially when we felt bad, she would wake up. That didn’t mean she’d come out at night for us, though. The false sense of having a secret was useful for us to learn a lesson. In the end, I also helped Ethan get to bed. He didn’t need as much assistance as Jack, but it was definitely useful for me to be there. Especially when he nearly fell over taking his jeans off. As for the bathroom, I was just out in his bedroom while the door was open to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally pass out. I tucked him in just like I did for Jack and even left a bucket beside his bed. Only then did I get to get ready myself. Although Jack was already asleep, he pulled me closer once I got into bed and I fell asleep in seconds. The next morning, I was up before Jack, just like usual. On the weekends, I’d now usually just scroll through my phone or watch something on my iPad or laptop until he woke up. Today, however, I decided to get out of bed. It was already later than I’d usually wake up and Jack could be out for ages after a night of drinking. I put on a pair of sweatpants before I went downstairs. My dad was outside mowing the lawn, or at least I heard the lawnmower and didn’t see him around in the living room. My mom was in the kitchen, where I also found myself. She was sitting at the kitchen island, reading a magazine with a cup of coffee next to her. “Morning,” I greeted happily. “Hey, good morning!” She replied, looking up from her reading. “Did you have fun last night?” I nodded and went over to a cupboard to pull out a mug for myself. “Yeah. I saw Chris again, and he’s no longer mad at me, so that’s good. Other than that I just spent most of my time with Jack.” “That’s good,” my mom nodded, watching me put my mug underneath the coffee machine and pressing the button. She knew all about my breakup with Chris back when it happened, just like she knew everything else. “Didn’t you want to speak to any of your other old friends?” I shrugged and leaned against the counter as I waited for my mug to fill. “Lisa dragged me to talk to the girls. But, honestly, it was so boring. They were talking about wine tastings and restaurants to go to. Now, I know that’s adult stuff to talk about, but I don’t drink and live here anymore. I didn’t know what they were talking about.” “I can understand that.” She nodded and drank some of her own coffee. “Is everybody doing well, though?” “Yeah!” I grabbed my mug when the machine signalled it was done and put it down on the island across from my mom. “As far as I could tell, at least. Everybody was pretty surprised to hear that Jack and I are engaged.” “Really? I always thought that you and Jack would have been cute together, even back in high school.” I just sighed and laughed a bit. There was no way that was true. Jack was one of the only guys both my parents trusted me to have in my room with my door closed all the way. They weren’t strict or anything, but they always wanted it open just ajar. So, they gave privacy, but still kept an eye on me. However, thinking about it again, maybe then wanted something to happen between me and Jack. They did let me close my door after all. I opened the fridge and pulled out some bacon and eggs. “Anyway, I’m going to make some breakfast for my two hungover boys.” “Yeah, I heard somebody vomiting last night. Was it Jack?” I shook my head, knowing I was totally going against what Ethan had asked me to do. But then again, I never promised him I’d keep quiet. I even told him I wouldn’t. “No, Jack doesn’t puke when he’s drunk. Ethan couldn’t keep it down when he came home. I felt pretty bad for him.” “Oh. He’s never done that before. Was he okay?” My mom frowned and seemed more concerned than mad. It was exactly why I thought telling her was a good idea. “I think so,” I told her and took out a pan to put on the stove. I turned on the gas and put a drop of oil in it. “I helped him go to bed and I didn’t hear him get up later.” “I hope he doesn’t feel too bad today.” “Oh, he will. There’s no way he doesn’t have a hangover. He already felt miserable yesterday.” I put the bacon in the pan to start cooking it. “Who felt miserable?” Jack came and joined us out of nowhere. He had covered up with a pair of shorts and a plain white t-shirt, and he was wearing his glasses while his hair was completely flat. “Just Ethan,” I told him, waiting for the bacon to cook. Jack reached over me and pulled out a mug from the cupboard as well. “After you went to sleep, he came home very drunk. How are you feeling?” “Just tired as usual.” He kissed the top of my head and started making his own cup of coffee. “You know I don’t really get hangovers.” “Yet I’m still making you breakfast,” I pointed out and flipped the bacon. “I don’t even get how you don’t have hangovers. Especially with the amount you drank last night.” “I didn’t get that drunk, did I?” “I mean, tell me the last thing you remember.” Jack took a few seconds and squinted while taking a sip of his coffee. “I’m not so sure actually.” “Well, that’s not good at all,” my mom commented, raising an eyebrow at him. He just awkwardly chuckled back. “I’m sorry…” My mom just shook her head at him, but it was all in good fun. “At least I made my way into bed!” Jack thought he had found a point to defend himself with. I snorted and flipped the bacon again. “I did that. Made sure you brushed your teeth and everything.” “Oh yeah,” he was suddenly grinning, “I vaguely remember. I didn’t say anything stupid, did I?” “Stupid? No. But definitely a bit random. Nothing too bad.” It was the truth. He’s occasionally say the weirdest stuff or confess the most concerning things, but last night hadn’t been bad. Jack and I were talking about starting a family. It was a pretty normal subject for us by now. But it was out of the blue that he asked me to sleep with him right there and then to get pregnant. It was a bit impatient, but we had already discussed that that would come after we got married. “Okay, I can deal with that.” He nodded in approval. I pulled out three plates and divided the bacon equally on them. With the leftover bacon grease in the pan, I started cooking the eggs. While I was doing that, my mom asked Jack how the reunion was for him. His answer was just slightly better than mine. Or a bit more that slightly. He actually mentioned specific people, first asking my mom if she recognised the name, and then told her how they were doing. Once I finished the eggs, I slipped them onto the plates as well. Somehow, Ethan entered the kitchen right at that moment. It was like the smell of bacon and eggs cooking had drawn him downstairs. He looked like he had had a very rough night. Unlike Jack’s, his hair was sticking up weirdly. He hadn’t even bothered to put on clothes and he looked tired and broken. Jack whistled lowly as Ethan plopped himself onto a barstool at the kitchen island. My mom looked at Ethan with a mixture of disappointment and amusement. “I don’t think I need to lecture you about drinking, this hangover seems like more than enough,” she told him. Ethan glared at me through his fingers and accused, “I asked you not to tell her.” “Buddy,” I shook my head in sympathy, “I didn’t even need to say anything with the way you look right now.” He groaned in response and hid his head in his hands further. I did feel bad for him. I really did. It was his own fault and I didn’t know what made him go this far, but he was my baby brother. I didn’t want him to go through all the pain of the stupid things we all do. To make him hopefully feel a little better, I grabbed some cutlery and placed the plate in front of him. “Eat up,” I said and kissed the back of his head. He just groaned again and pushed me away in annoyance. I couldn’t help but tease him a little bit, could I? Pissing him off, however, wasn’t in my plan for that day. So, I just took my own plate and joined Jack, Ethan, and my mom. At least Ethan was eating and not being too stubborn about that. He didn’t seem as happy about getting cooked breakfast as he usually would, but he was still carefully munching on the bacon. “How did you get home?” my mom suddenly asked with worry in her voice. “You didn’t drive, did you?!” “I took an Uber,” Ethan grumbled, clutching his head. “I left my car at Josh’s.” “Okay, okay, thank god,” she sighed in relief. “I’m going to be heading in that direction later today if you want to tag along and get your car." “‘Kay,” he nodded but just stared down at his plate. A while later, Jack had gone up to take a shower, Ethan had gone upstairs to nurse his hangover in bed or something, and I was cleaning up the kitchen after myself. Jack had offered to help me out, but I sent him away since he didn’t smell all too great after a night of drinking. All I had to do was put everything in the dishwasher and wipe the surfaces anyway. After I was done, my mom asked me to go up to Ethan and tell him she was leaving in half an hour. I went upstairs and knocked on his door, which was already open before I walked in. He was just laying in bed, staring at the wall across the room, facing away from me. Usually, when he was ill, he’d be playing video games, watching something, or looking through his phone. Being hungover was different than being sick, but it wasn’t that drastically different. “Hey, Eth,” I said when he didn’t acknowledge my knocking, “mom’s leaving in half an hour if you want to pick up your car.” He hummed back unemotionally. It wasn’t the sound people made when they were busy doing something else, this was like he was in deep thought. “You okay?” I asked when I sensed something was off. “Yeah…” he mumbled meekly. It didn’t sound convincing at all. So, like the meddling sister I was, I entered his room and got in bed next to him. He didn’t move an inch and just kept staring blankly ahead. I softly stroked his hair, trying to get him to turn to me, but he never did. “You know you can talk to me,” I whispered. He spoke back softly, and I could swear I heard him sniff. “I did some stupid shit.” “Everybody goes a bit too far and gets drunk sometimes.” I dropped my hand from his head to his shoulder. He shook his head but still refused to look at me. “I did stupid shit while drunk.” “That happens,” I shrugged, hoping I could make him feel less alienated. “I remember, one time, Alex and Jack had a few too many and they could not be convinced that playing The Floor is Lava would be a bad idea. Alex stepped onto a chair and toppled over, slamming into a table. He had quite a few bruises the next day.” “No.” He shook his head again and finally turned so I could see his face. There were tears in his eyes. “I did proper stupid shit.” “Tell me,” I whispered and brushed some hair from his forehead. He hesitated and a few tears escaped, slowly trailing down his cheeks and the side of his face to his ears because of how he was lying. “I– I–” “It’s okay.” “No, it’s not.” He stared at me with pain in his eyes. “I cheated on Lilli.” “Oh.” I couldn’t say that everything was fine anymore, I couldn’t tell him that it was okay. Cheating wasn’t okay, but luckily he realised that. The only reason I was still here stroking his arm, was because he obviously knew how bad it was. He started shaking and the tears started falling more frequently, but he was still holding it back. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t s–sex or any– anything like… like that.” That wasn’t as bad. Still it wasn’t great. I wasn’t exactly sure what else he could mean with cheating, but it was leaving him in so much pain. “I’m still listening,” I encouraged, not wanting him to shut down now that I stopped telling him that it was all okay. “I, umm…” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I– I made out with Josh.” And then he just completely broke down. He hid his head in my shoulder and started bawling his eyes out. It hurt me to see him like this. Something told me he wasn’t just upset because he cheated on his girlfriend. There was no way he was crying so hard because of one kiss. If I ever found out Jack kissed another person, I would have been upset, but I would have been able to forgive it. Lilli didn’t seem like the girl to freak out over it either. It was still a sucky thing to do, but this was more about the fact that he kissed his best friend. I just let him cry into me and hugged him tightly. When I looked towards the door, I saw Jack appear, probably just looking for me. Once he noticed what was going on, he gave me a concerned look. I looked back at him. I really didn’t know what to do this time. Usually, I’d have a story for him to relate to and help him through it, but this time I had nothing. I didn’t care if he thought he was into guys. That didn’t matter to me at all. But it seemed like he didn’t even know what he was feeling. He wouldn’t have been crying this hard if it was just a playful kiss that was supposed to be a joke. I prayed that Jack wouldn’t leave, but I also wouldn’t dare say something. I couldn’t do this one by myself. But getting my parents involved now wasn’t the right thing either. It wasn’t because they wouldn’t be supportive. Despite being religious, they always made clear that we were to love whoever we wanted to love no matter what race or gender. But Ethan had to figure out his feelings for himself first. Luckily, Jack decided to join us. He sat down carefully on the end of the bed and put his hand on Ethan’s leg supportively. I knew he must have been confused, and I would have told him what had happened. But, honestly, I didn’t know what happened. I didn’t know how deep this went. When Ethan started to quiet down just the slightest bit, I decided to ask him, “what happened?” I could have just let him cry forever, but that wouldn’t help at all. “I do-on’t know,” he stuttered through irregular breaths. “It was supposed to be a stupid dare and then it just escalated.” While Jack still had no idea what this was about, it told me quite a bit. This wasn’t just a random person he started to make out with, who actually happened to be his best friend. No, this started as a small joke but blew up. “Well, do you think…” I was unsure how to formulate the words. “…you have feelings for him?” Jack looked at me with wide eyes, most likely wondering if he heard me correctly. But, yes, he did. “No,” Ethan shook his head. “Maybe? I don’t know. He’s my best friend.” “It’s okay not to know,” Jack took over now that he understood the main gist of the situation. I was glad, because I had no clue what to say. “You don’t have to know, it gets confusing.” Ethan slowly rolled away from me and let his eyes fall on Jack, like he only just realised that Jack was here as well. He was silent for a second as if staring would give him all the answers. But it never did. “It makes no sense.” “It also makes no sense that Rachel ever agreed to date me, yet here we are,” Jack used as an example, making me roll my eyes at him. Ethan sighed in response. “That’s different.” He was right. It was pretty different. I knew that Jack would know what to say, he just needed some more time with Ethan. So, I decided to remove myself from the conversation. “Do you want me to go with mom to pick up your car?” “Please.” He nodded. I could imagine he didn’t want to go back to Josh’s to pick up his car after what had happened that night. “Okay, then you stay here with Jack. I’ll go down and tell mom you’re not feeling well.” I was hoping to hint to Jack that this was his time to talk to Ethan. He had much better advice than me for this. I had personally never questioned my own sexuality. Or at least, not this deeply. I had had the occasional thought along the lines of ‘what’s it like to be into girls?’, but I never never had the feeling of being into girls. Jack, however... I had known him for ages throughout school, and I knew he was confused, he had confessed that to me before. Only, back then I was an ignorant 13-year-old who didn’t really understand those kind of feelings. “Where are your keys?” I asked as I got off the bed. “At Josh’s,” he mumbled. I told my mom that Ethan was in no state to drive his car because of his hangover. It was bending the truth, but like I said before, it wasn’t my place to tell her what actually went down. This could be a big deal and a life changing moment for Ethan. It was not my place to let other people know. I just hoped that Ethan would figure it out himself sooner or later. Not for me, but for himself. My mom dropped me off in front of Josh’s house. I went to the front door and rang the doorbell because I needed to get the keys. Josh was the one who answered. He looked pretty bad, but not nearly as bad as Ethan. Like, he only looked like he had a hangover and skipped over the breakdown part completely. Which was probably true. “Oh, hey, Rachel.” He smiled politely at me. “Hi,” I replied. “I’m just here to pick up Ethan’s car.” “Okay, yeah, I’ve got the keys here.” He went behind the door and I heard him pick something up from a wooden table. He returned and held them out for me. “Here you go.” “Thanks.” I let him drop the keys in my hand. “By the way, Ethan told me what happened last night.” “Oh…” he scratched the back of his head. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m not here because he hates you or anything. He just needs some time to figure things out.” “Oh, okay, yeah,” he nodded, looking down at the floor. “Do you mind not telling anyone else? I haven’t exactly told anybody about my, you know, sexuality.” “No, of course I won’t. Only my fiancé and I know right now. We wouldn’t go around talking about it.” I put his worries to rest. “Thanks. Can you tell Ethan I’m sorry if I made him feel uncomfortable?” “Yeah, I’ll do that,” I promised. Although I felt like Ethan didn’t exactly feel uncomfortable, I also didn’t want to put words in his mouth. “I’ll also make sure he calls you once he wraps his head around everything.” “Okay, thanks.” Josh gave me another shy smile. I slowly started retreating towards the car. “Bye, Josh.” “Bye.” When I got back home, I went straight up to Ethan’s room again. My mom wasn’t home yet and my dad was making himself some lunch. I greeted him as I passed by, but first wanted to check up on my baby brother. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Ethan was no longer crying. He was actually grinning as he and Jack played video games on his TV. “Hey, catch!” I tossed the keys in his direction. Ethan just let the keys hit him in the arm. He was too focused on the game to let go of the remote for one second. Just moments later, the round they were playing ended. I sat down next to Jack and pecked him on his lips as a mini greeting. “So, everything okay?” I wondered, wanting to know if Jack had said anything influential. Jack looked at Ethan and Ethan gave a careful nod before telling me what conclusion they had come to. “I’m going to meet Lilli tomorrow to talk. I owe it to her to break up. I need to figure myself out first.” “Okay.” I didn’t want to say much more. It was obvious that he didn’t want to break it off, but that he felt like it was the right thing to do. “Yeah… but for now, I’m fucking destroying Jack at Mario Kart, so…” He pressed the button to go onto the next game. I was just happy that he was okay now. I only had Jack to thank for that. As he played the game along with Ethan, I wrapped my arms around his torso and put my head on his shoulder to watch. There was nothing more I wanted than to spend the rest of my life with that man.

I'm not dead....I don't think(?)

Take Care of You

Title: Take Care of You Chapter: One-Shot Pairing: Andy/Jenni/Remington Rating: T Fic Summary: Being in a relationship means taking care of each other. Author’s Notes: Idea and picture above submitted by @panicatangelica.

Remington and Jenni were sitting on the couch in Palaye’s bus when the door opened.

Sebastian climbed on, Andy in tow. “Look who I found”, he said.

Remington was the first one to stand up.

Andy pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Remington. “Tea?” he asked.

“For your throat”, Andy told him.

Remington rolled his eyes. “I’ve toured a hundred times and I’ve done Warped Tour before, A”.

Andy took Remington’s face in his hands and said, “Let me take care of you, alright?”

Remington gave Andy a small smile and said, “Alright”.

Andy pecked Remington on the lips.

Emerson and Sebastian didn’t bat an eye.

Andy and Remington were very affectionate with each other behind closed doors.

Remington stepped back from Andy and allowed Jenni her turn.

“Hey you”, Andy said smiling at her.

Jenni leaned up and kissed Andy, his hands tangling in her hair while hers rubbed up and down his bare chest. “When do you go on?” Jenni asked him.

“Late afternoon. Let’s go get some lunch before Rem has to go on”, he said.

Together, the three of them walked to the catering tent where they found the guys.

Remington started to get into the food line when Andy stopped him.

“Uh, uh, sit”, he said, pointing to the seat next to Jinxx.

“But…” Remington started.

Andy raised an eyebrow at him.

“Okay”, he said, defeated.

Andy and Jenni got in line, Andy’s arms around her waist.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the girl who managed to steal not just one rockstar’s heart, but two”, Jenni heard. She turned her head and saw the boys from All Time Low. Jenni had met the All Time Low boys several times, but she preferred to stick to the post-hardcore scene. She recognized the one who spoke as Jack Barakat, also known as the man-whore of the group. “Hi”, she said.

“Not feeling very friendly, today?” Jack asked her.

“I just prefer to socialize with people who don’t fuck anything with two legs”, she said.

Andy hid his smirk in Jenni’s hair.

“What about Ashley?” Jack countered.

“Ashley is a sweetheart, but you, you’re just an immature boy in band”, she defended, “Ashley is smart and actually graduated college with a degree in marketing”.

“Okay, okay. Let’s not start a feud between bands, okay?” Alex said, “Jack didn’t mean anything by it. I think your relationship is very forward thinking. Shows that people, no matter how famous they are, can make a relationship work”.

“Well, relationships are based on respect and trust”, she said, glaring at Jack. She turned away from them and went to work grabbing her food.

“I apologize for Jack”, Alex told Andy.

“It’s fine. It’s just the heat and everything. She’s not a big fan of Warped Tour. She prefers the company of only a few bands on tour”, Andy said. Andy grabbed two plates of food, one for himself and one for Remington. He handed one of them to Jenni to take back to the table, while Andy fixed some tea. He walked back over to the table and set the tea in front of Remington.

“Thank you”, Remington said.

“Anytime, babe”, he said sitting down next to CC.

“So…if you’re both in a relationship with Jenni, what happens if you guys want to get married?” Jake asked.

Andy nearly choked on his food.

“Or what if you want to start a family?” Ashley asked.

“What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?” Andy asked.

Jenni and Remington remained silent.

“We just want what’s best for you Andy”, Jake said.

“By insulting my relationship?”

“We weren’t insulting your relationship Andy”, Ashley said.

“I thought you of all people would support me”, Andy said, getting up.

“Andy…” Jenni said, grabbing his wrist.

Andy pulled away from her and stormed out of the tent.

“Nice”, Jenni said, glaring at the boys.

Remington stood up and said, “I’m gonna go talk to him”. He left the tent and searched the venue for Andy. “Hey Em, you seen Andy?” he asked his brother.

“Yeah, he’s over by Asking’s bus”, Emerson said, “Hey, what happened? He looked pretty pissed. I tried asking him what was wrong, but he just brushed me off”.

“His band may or may not have said some things at lunch”, Remington said.

“Well, whatever happened, we have to be on in half an hour”.

“I’ll be there Em, but right now I need to calm Andy down before he does something stupid”. He made his way over to Asking’s bus, where he found Andy sitting up against one of tires smoking a cigarette. “Hey”, Remington said.

“Hey”, Andy echoed.

Remington sat down beside him and took one of Andy’s hands in his.

Andy laced their fingers.

“You know they didn’t mean anything by it”, Remington said.

“I know, but…it’s not their place to ask questions like that”.

“Andy, they’re your brothers. They’ve known you longer than Jenni and I have”, Remington reminded him, “If Emerson and Sebastian weren’t so open to the idea, they’d be asking the same questions too”.

“I know, but I don’t even want think about making Jenni choose between the two of us. She can’t marry both of us”.

“Hey, look at me”, Remington said, placing his hand on Andy’s cheek.

Andy’s blue eyes met Remington’s hazel ones.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get it okay? Earlier you said you wanted to take care of me, let me to the same for you”.

“I love you”, Andy said.

Remington smiled and placed a kiss on the older man’s lips. “I love you too”.

BONUS: What do you see in Remington, Andy, and Jenni’s future? Let me know!

5, 9, 13, and 20 for the fic asks 💕💕 (hoodhoran)

hi, mac!!! thank you for the questions!!! 💖

5. Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter.

So, most recently I’ve been slowly writing a fic based on the tracks from When Facing the Things We Turn Away From, where each title inspires a bit of poetry acting as fake lyrics that Luke writes within the fic as a reflection of events (as in the fic has 12 parts of sorts).

This is the poetry piece for Part XII. Comedown: (pardon the formatting, this website doesn’t support stanzas with line breaks very well)

Are you afraid of flying / or are you scared of heights? / If your fear is falling, / then maybe it’s time to come down. / Maybe it’s time to come down.

9. Are there any fics you’d love to see but don’t want to write yourself? What are they?

Off the top of my head? Would love to see a university/college au featuring CompSci TA Jack (Barakat). I can’t charactizer ATL well enough to write it myself lol

I also think the world needs more Austin & Ally fics that takes place before the time jump to the Helen performance in the finale and the time jump at the very end. like I have so many questions about them and their relationship that I would love to see anything really explore that. I could write it but that requires Effort.

13. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or single-part fics?

I prefer to write single-part fics. My ability to focus on a piece can be very short and chapters tend to lead to me taking the story tangent to the plot. I’ve tried multi-chapter before but it just… Requires more than I find enjoyable. I like the idea of single-parts with mini-parts inside… Vignettes of sorts. Most longer fics I write tend to be that way.

I have no preference, however, I tend to only read completed fics. Whether that’s a oneshot or 100k+ of a multi-chapter fic, I prefer to read it all at once. I have this thing about sad endings that’s why, so having a bit of awareness of how things will go from the beginning helps.

20. Which fic have you put the most work into? Which fic have you put the least work into?

There’s a fic I wrote and posted on Wattpad that has since been deleted but it was a multi-chapter Lashton fic called Letters To You. I am not necessarily proud of it bc the content was handled poorly & without much research, but it’s one of the only multi-chapter fics I finished and I put A LOT of time and work into writing it.

As of currently published works, I guess my 911 fic Loving Can Hurt Sometimes is the most work I’ve put into a fic. It’s a WIP that I’m unsure I’ll finish but I did a lot of planning for it and the future parts.

Least work would be the Close As Strangers fic I want to rewrite (as in I have done nothing but think about rewriting it). Or a short JATP fic I wrote as a prompt fill.

Send me questions about fic writing!