"Goals create challenges and challenges create goals..." -Shad Helmstetter- Goal: loose 50+lbs Challenge: 60 day health and wellness plan I have been overweight ALL of my life! The following is not an excuse, but the conditions that I was born with as well as the treatment and the medications, have added 50+lbs, in general to my "normal", suggested weight. Womp, womp! As I got older, I developed other medical conditions (i.e. digestive issues) that were mainly associated with stress from life but mainly or especially related to work. I have gone up and down in weight throughout the years For the last 7-8 months, I have been using safe and clean nutritional products from my lifestyle company. The support from my SEACRET community has been amazing! I am, we are just getting started, per say! This "blessing" was a TOTAL game-changer for me and my health. The nutritional products are 100% organic, vegan, plant-based, non-GMO, SUGAR FREE (**WINNING**), gluten free (perfect for my food allergy), dairy and soy free (I'm lactose intolerant) and Kosher certified (for my Jewish participating friends) I say all that to say that NO MORE! I had to, MUST take control of my body. Tomorrow, will be a new beginning for me because I will begin a 60 day challenge! Transformation in loading! Contact me for more info! Join me! Cheer for me! Continue to watch my journey! #clubfit #60daychallenge #lifebyseacret #healthiswealth #transformation #takecontrolofyourhealth #livewellbewell #seacretcommunity #iamworthit #youcandoit #impressyourself #determination #ideservebetter #iwanttolookbetter #iwanttofeelbetter #safeandclean #organic #vegan #nongmo #plantbased #sugarfree #glutenfree #dairyandsoyfree #koshercertified Who needs a transformation in their lives? Who's with me? https://www.instagram.com/p/CSnJgnPL5mp/?utm_medium=tumblr

#WalkItOut #JustDoIt #SunnySaturday #FitFam #GetWright #Motivate #IWantToLookBetter #IWantToFeelBetter #BoostingMyConfidenceAgain #LoveLifeWhileYouCan #SmellTheRoses #LoveLife #StayHappy #FeelGood #Don’tGiveUp #You’reStillHere #YouMadeItThisFar (at Wichita, Kansas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CD62ylZADnW/?igshid=6sqh7h4w26z7

I need some flower to complete that 70's vibe. Probably a bit more chill as well. #me #notchill #mentalhealthisinthedumpstoday #iwanttofeelbetter #chronicillness #fibromyalgia (at Phoenix, Arizona)

Bad week, trying to self care 🖤 #trans #iwanttofeelbetter https://www.instagram.com/p/BxosdxDlYqh/?igshid=45h38valdrep

At some point, though I’m not sure when, you’re going to be hearing my voice in my music. Despite the fact that I enjoy working with third party vocalists, and always will, there’s certain things I need to say that won’t translate the way I want them to. There’s a lot of hurt, anger, jealousy, sadness, passion, and painful emotion I’ve been feeling the past few months. At this point, I really don’t care how bad it makes me look, I just want it off my chest. I feel like whatever anxiety over putting out potentially controversial content out is outweighed by the desire to put out how I feel. I just know that I’ll feel worse if I don’t use my favorite thing, Music, to speak up. And if people are offended by me doing that very thing, they can feel free to leave. I won’t stop them. #flstudio #producerlife #lyrics #songwriting #music #art #electronicmusic #goth #macabre #iwanttofeelbetter #artisticintegrity #poetry #getitoffmychest #emotional #emotion #hurt https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv5m36RAnhn/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=114quvwzs1w0z

This has been my life the past week. *blows nose* *forceful eating* *liquids* *naps* *blows nose AGAIN* ((REPEAT))... I hate fighting off colds!!🤧🍵🍹🥤🥛🛌🤧 #iwanttofeelbetter #asap #havingacoldsucks #imsickofbeingsick #tryingtorecover #restup https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsyz9wzFOtcBUDHhSlTIwT7Le18bO1iSA4-l2w0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=m8g9emkrev9r

I can't decide if I'm nervous or excited. I just hope everything will work out on my journey. Currently I feel very stuck in my everyday life and I just hope that this trip can brighten my mind again. I need new motivation to go on and make progress, also I need to see something different and other people. #pleaseworkoutforme #ireallymeanit #ireallyneedthis #iwanttofeelbetter

Some skills you can't learn in a classroom. And well if you can feel better, help others and learn lasting skills in one area why wouldn't you? #fitteam #lifeskills #betterhealth #iwanttofeelbetter www.startfitteam.com https://www.instagram.com/p/B9vCbMSBrp9/?igshid=1mheovhiqn5bm

Yesterday was 2nd sub-q IVIG Infusion. I have finally been diagnosed with Common Variable Immune Deficiency, let's hope this help me have more energy and feel less shitty #theloopyllama #loopyllama #itstheloopyllama #ivig #cvid #commonvariableimmunodeficiency #immunedeficiency #immunedeficiencyawareness #ihopethisworks #yikes #iwanttofeelbetter #selfadvocate #advocate

#soup #feelingsick #bodyaches #Iwanttofeelbetter

Do you . . .

Do you know how hard it is to explain to your parents that you have a hard time dealing with anxiety? Do you know how upsetting it is that when you're on the verge of losing it and about to go out to eat and telling your parents that you can't go. Do you know how upsetting it is to feel guilty for not going and the shame that comes with it because you feel like you've upset your family. Do you know how upsetting it is when you notice that your mom doesn't look at you when she comes home and all you want is a hug and you're afraid to talk to her. Do you know how hard it is to function around something like that? Do you know how frustrating it is to not know how the anxiety, and anger got so bad that you want to know when this all happened. Do you know how horrible it feels to worry about you parents worrying about you because of these situations. Do you know how hard it is.

I don't understand my mind.

I have no desire to be with alex at all anymore. I am so happy with mark and things are so much better. But...I still long for closure on things with alex. I still don't really know what happened. I still don't really understand why it happened. I just wonder what he's thinking. I look back on our relationship and wonder where I went wrong. I wonder why I wasn't enough and why it all changed so fast. I was so sick when we were together, and through marks help, I've figured out some of the things to help make me better and improve my quality of life, so I can maintain going to school, maintain healthy relationships. I was paranoid out of my mind and I inadvertently pushed him away. But what about him? What about what he did wrong? My mind wanders when I'm not in a routine. I need to be back at school when I'm working and feeling overwhelmed with school so I'm not feeling overwhelmed with my feelings. I need to be back with mark. I love him so and I find everything about being with him so comforting. Such a sweet, thoughtful, level headed boy. And I love that he is mine. :) But I feel like I'm taking a step back. And I don't want that...

I haven't hurt myself this bad in years. After nearly a year I cut a few weeks ago. Not much, not that it matters, but just three small cuts. Not like this. I don't want to go back to how I used to be #trigger #selfharm #depression #anxiety #numb #scared #disappointed #whydididothis #notfeltsolowinalongtime #idontknowwhy #iwanttofeelbetter

One thing that sucks about living alone is when you're sick and all you want is someone to cuddle you, baby you, and just make sure you have what's gonna make you feel better 😞