GiroDoro anon back here! Please give us more about the GiroDoro AU?

OOOH ANON YOU ARE MY FAVORITE, YOU KNOW THAT?

Today I offer tidbits from before Dororo rejoined the platoon.... Word of warning, I tend to stick a bit closer to the mangas timeline! So Dororo doesn't come back until like a year and a half after they land.

I always thought it was kind of weird that Dororo got caught in that bear trap, since he's supposed to be this hyper-vigilant assassin. Which is why I was delighted to realize that it fit perfectly with my au!!! ^-^

What with him being all distraught over the break, Dororo is just left bumbling around the forest, not paying attention to his surroundings which is how he gets caught. Of course, Koyuki finds him and takes him home like a stray dog 💖

He finds a lot of purpose in being a ninja, of course. It helps him get a new perspective, be happier with himself, and gets his mind off of... All That (childhood trauma, assassin trauma, and #Relationship Issues)

Giroro spends a LOT of time looking for him, of course he's technically "patrolling" but he's really only kidding himself with that. This is actually sort of canon in the manga! I nearly shat my pants reading it LOL I was so excited 😭😭😭 like HE'S LOOKING FOR HIIIMMMM

He does on rare occasion spot Dororo in the forest! But VERY rarely, like 1 or 2 times. Dororo probably ends up spotting him more </3 it sends them both into hysterics, especially the first time. Dororo runs away, and Giroro attempts to run after him, but in the end loses him.

Dororo was simply NOT READY to see him again!!!! He'll join again on his OWN terms, thank you very much! (He definitely goes back to the ninja clan and cries for an Embarrassing amount of time. Koyuki just has to sit there because he WON'T TELL HER WHATS WRONG.)

Giroro is just left sort of dazed and confused because WHAT JUST HAPPENED?? Why did he run away? Why did he look so upset seeing him? (He's pretty stupid) (he'll get better I promise he just needs things spelled out sometimes) (#COMMUNICATION_WINS)

I've been trying to write something a little more formal about this but my bouts of writing inspiration are a rare sight! So expect that... Probably never and enjoy the table scraps 💖

5/18/2023

In January or February of this year I contracted COVID-19. I didn’t end up extremely sick, thankfully. I just felt like I had the flu. I’m thankful that nothing worse happened because I don’t have a great immune system (the title of my blog explains that). I think that because I was vaccinated and had a booster shot, I was better off. Around this same time I got engaged to my boyfriend of 10 years.

I haven’t had any big, notable events in my illness. I have been getting infusions of Rituximab every 6 months. The first few times I got an infusion, I had a reaction to the medication. My doctor told me this was normal because my body doesn’t understand what I’m putting in it. My throat would get itchy and swollen during the infusion. They combatted this by slowing down the rate of the medication. They also give me IV Benadryl and that helps a lot too. However, the Benadryl makes me a little loopy. I end up slurring my words and taking a nap most of the time while watching Animal Planet on the tv.

The one thing that has been very hard for me lately is that I can’t talk to any of my doctors about my joint pain because they automatically assume it is related to the fact that I am overweight. One of my doctors wanted to refer me to a physical therapist and I laughed. No thanks. I’ve done that before in the past. The only good part about it was the time that my physical therapist gave me a back massage after I did my stretches. I have lost a bit of weight but I’ve reached a plateau because I have been so busy with school that I was not able to exercise. I also obtained a job in July of last year that requires me to do a bit of physical work. It’s becoming a little too much for my body but at least it makes me physically active 3 days a week. Now that I am out of school, I am considering going back to doing low impact workout videos online. We will see how that goes because my depression has been hellbent on preventing me from doing productive things.

Sometimes I get mad when people who don’t have a similar illness try to comment on my pain. They try to tell me to change my diet, take essential oils, etc etc. I really don’t appreciate comments like that. I used to actively ask for support from others but now I don’t really say anything because I don’t want to hear opinions. When I say that I want support, I mean that I want it without opinions and suggestions. I don’t want opinions or suggestions unless I specifically ask for them. I’m even a little skeptical of people with my illness giving suggestions because I don’t know how true their statements are. Not everything works for everyone. People are all very different in the way their bodies work.

The last thing I wanted to talk about in this post was how I feel going to regular doctor’s appointments. I am referring to specialist appointments and my primary care doctor. My chronic illness has not only caused physical pain but also mental pain. I think I must have some trauma from going through the painstaking process of getting diagnosed. Anyone who has a chronic illness knows how terrifying it is to go through hundreds of tests before they can begin to consider treatments. There is a feeling of horror as your body rips you from the inside out. No one can see your pain besides you. Everything looks normal from the outside until it is too late.

Am I faking it? Am I losing my mind? Are my symptoms real?

Just as I am starting to heal the hurt inside of me, I find the wound reopened when I go to doctors’ visits. I felt “normal” for about 6 months and began to go back to my life. When I go to the doctor, I have to get more blood work done and tests. It “triggers” those old feelings of terror, trauma, and helplessness. I sob a lot after many of those medical visits. But I usually don’t let anyone see my tears because I know they wont understand. I only let my fiancé see me cry about my illness because I feel okay being vulnerable around him. I’m afraid of letting people know that I feel suicidal when Pandora’s Box opens and I see a glimpse at my reality. It feels good to put my feelings in this textbox, even if it doesn’t mean anything to anyone. Maybe my toxic thoughts will be released from me by writing them down.

- Callie.

Dying to own the libs

Some of us will be around for the booster shots Buck.

Buck doesn’t understand how viruses work.

Buck ain’t afraid of no Covid.

Funny how you antivaxxers don’t believe in science right up until you get sick and then suddenly you’re rushing your useless ass to the hospital to waste and bed and a ton of valuable resources for weeks on end.

Gee Buck do you think maybe you should have been a bit more worried about Covid? But hey who needs a vaccine or a lockdown or a mask - I’m sure those prayers will do the trick.

I guess not. Bye Buck!

[ID: Facebook posts by Buck McGan: Jul 23, 2021: Photo of a zombie. “Waiting in line for your 59th booster shot to stop the new strain.” Aug 5, 2021: “CORVID-19 will disappear one day! Just like swine flu, Ebola, ya baby’s daddy and your eyebrows.” Aug 8, 2021: A pie chart titled “Things I’m worried about” that is all pink with a thin grey line. Pink is labeled “Losing my constitutional rights.” Grey is labeled “COVID-19.” Sep 16, 2021: “So 3 weeks ago today i finally made it to doctor office and after sitting for a hour or so in waiting room they took be back for triage and once they took temp they started makin me nervous moving faster in that little room and then they told me we have ambulance coming for you i was like hold up ambulance for what they said u have covid and o2 sat was really low i cnat rmemeber numbers and really didnt remember them doin nasal swab and this would be first time ever in hospital which sucks because i couldnt even have family with me 😢😡 so i spent 8 days in hospital with numerous meds run through iv daily well i finally got well enough to be sent home” Sep 20, 2021: “In the lords name i pray please continue healing me from this awful virus”“Samuel "Buck" McGan IV. Jun 12, 1979 - Sep 21, 2021. Coleman Funeral Home of Southaven. Samuel “Buck” McGan, IV, 42, passed away September 21, 2021, at Baptist Memorial Hosptial – Desoto, in Southaven, MS.”]

idk if im just overly sensitive but is anyone else feeling really demoralized by the seemingly total abandonment of empathy and compassion lately? it seems like EVERYONE is just saying “fuck it, i got my first 2 shots but now im done, no more boosters, no more masks, im ready to move on with my life” like. do you think im not???? but why does it seem like no one understands that your actions don’t just affect you individually. like okay ive had all 3 shots so far and i literally HAD covid, im probably about as immune as it’s possible to get right now, but just the thought of getting it again and inadvertently passing it onto someone who’s at high risk of serious illness/death, or who might end up going on to develop long covid, or someone young and “healthy” and “low risk” who happens to get really sick anyway because guess what, that can happen — like, everything else aside just the thought of that is enough to make me continue being as careful as i can, even if some people might call it overkill. anyway. my mental state has been horrible lately (only in part because of this) and again maybe im being too sensitive but even if i am surely there’s some middle ground between my mindset and literally just pretending life is back to normal

- November 17th 2021 -

What do you want more than anything else? A cure for hyperacusis. Or even just an effective treatment. But it's a rare and under-researched condition so I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Do you have to cross any bridges on your way home? Depends on where I'm coming home from.

What type of phone do you have? iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Have you ever tried coconut water? Yep. I wish I liked it more than I do, because it's pretty healthy and it looks so refreshing. But it has kind of an odd, stale taste to me.

Are you able to keep a lid on your temper? I don't really have a temper. It's extremely rare for me to feel anger strongly enough to lose my composure.

What colour are the blankets on your bed? Navy and tan.

What was the last thing you said aloud? “Goodnight, Love."

Is there anybody who makes you feel empowered? I already feel empowered in my own right, without anyone else "making me" feel empowered, but my husband certainly boosts that feeling of empowerment.

Does your house have a basement? No.

How many online accounts do you have? Or have you lost count? I lost count years and years ago, haha.

Which Asian country would you like to visit the most? Hmm... either Bhutan or Japan.

Who was your first love? My husband.

Are you the type to hold grudges? No.

What was the last video game you played? Age of Empires IV, if you'd count PC games. I haven't played a video game on a console in a while, but I think the last one I played was Wii Sports?

What's your favourite flavour of vitamin water? I don't really like Vitamin Water.

Are there any bands/artists that get you all emotional? No, I can't think of any.

What do you think about double stuff oreos? Eh, not a fan.

Are you happy in your own skin? Of course.

Have you ever been to a convention? (comic, Youtube, etc.) I attended a few aviation safety conventions, back when I was a pilot.

Do you have any disgusting habits? Not really.

Can you get your favourite fruit all year around, or is it seasonal? I have a few favorite fruits, most of which are seasonal, but I can still buy them year-round. Supermarkets in the U.S. tend have a huge variety of fruits and vegetables from all over the world, all throughout the year.

What brand are most of the electronics in your household? Mostly Apple.

Is any part of your body hurting right now? My left arm still hurts from my Covid booster shot.

What's your favourite aunt or uncle's first name? Maureen.

Do you prefer your tea with or without milk? With.

What sound makes you cringe? That atrocious screeching sound that young children make.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope.

If so, do you still smoke? -

What do you think about androgynous names? I like some of them. It depends on the name.

Do you see yourself getting married one day? I've been married since 2012.

Do you get sick often? No, it seems my immune system is tough-as-nails. I haven't been sick in about 3-4 years.

Who was the last person you invited into your home? The last people to visit were my in-laws, but I didn't invite them and neither did my husband, they invited themselves over. They're friendly people but they have rather poor etiquette.

Are you of legal drinking age in the country you live in? Yes.

How old were your parents when they got engaged? My mom was around 21 and my dad was around 23.

Are your parents still together? Yes.

What flavour was the last ice cream you ate? Buckeye ice cream. It's a uniquely Ohio thing, haha. ;-P Buckeyes are a type of homemade candy, they're little balls of peanut butter fudge mostly coated in chocolate, made to look like the nuts from the Ohio buckeye tree. There's an ice cream parlor in town that makes an ice cream flavor based off of those candies.

Are you health conscious? Yes.

Have you ever done a first aid course? Yep, when I was 14 I was doing advanced swimming courses in preparation to eventually be a lifeguard, and a first aid course was part of that. I never did go on to be a lifeguard, though. I got too busy with horseback riding.

If so, would you be prepared to perform CPR if necessary? I've forgotten how to do it.

Are you for or against gay marriage? Very much for it, of course.

Do you have any friends who bat for the other team? No. Acquaintances, yes, but I only have a few friends and none of them are gay or lesbian.

Have you ever written a letter to a politician? Yes.

Are there any songs that get stuck in your head very easily? Sort of.

Through a Wormhole and Among the Stars Part 2

AN: Ok so I know it’s been a big PHAT minute since I updated this fic but I can explain: I honestly forgot I hadn’t updated. I got like 3 more chapters finished so I just thought I had posted more, so sorry for such the long wait! Gonna try to post more consistently with my chaptered fics, so expect to see more of this one, as well as upcoming chapters for Preventing Apotheosis. I still need to write more for A Loyal Companion & Everlasting Avengers, so I’m not too sure when I’ll get to those. I have a few one shots in the works, so be on the lookout for those as well! Now, on with the fic!

Kirk, Bones, and Uhura were the ones who opened the small ship once it came on board. They noticed some exterior damage, as if part of it had been blown up. They called out in the mostly empty vessel, hoping for an answer and heard a groan to their right,  turning to see Eiffel slumped over in a chair. He looked like a complete wreck. He had gone bald, a few strands of hair that were still frozen were sticking up, and his skin was cracked all over his body. His fingers and toes were like bloody stumps after his nails fell off. His normally dark skin now had a sickening pale blue hue to it, and with his half closed eyes he looked like a frozen corpse. Bones widened his eyes when he saw the man who looked like he was barely clinging on. "Jesus Christ, how is he still alive?" he asked. Bones looked at him before grabbing his tricorder to scan his body, noticing he was somewhat awake. "Hey, I need you to stay awake, no good you fallin' asleep." Eiffel opened his eyes slightly only to shut them immediately. "'M already 'sleep," he mumbled, barely coherent.

Bones looked at the readings and shook his head, "Damn where do I even begin," he said in shock. He took out a hypo spray and inserted it into his neck, noticing how he tried to jerk away from the pain. It was good that he could feel that, it meant he was still responsive. "C'mon, I need you to stay awake for me," his tone was stern, but so much care was behind those words. Jim picked up his limp form and they rushed to sick bay.  

After they reached the operating room, Bones set to work and Jim and Uhura were sent back to the bridge. "I'll let you know how he's doin'," Bones told him. He nodded and left his friend to his work, letting Nurse Chapel in through the door as he slid out.

"He's got some sort of virus in his system. It's not like anything I've ever seen, almost as if it was tailored to kill him. But the weird thing is that it seems to be dormant, at least for now. Hand me the regenerator," he said and Chapel complied, handing him the tool. "Thank you. And can you give him some pain killers?" It took a while, but he was finally in a somewhat stable condition. He was still out of it, but Bones knew that was to be expected. He was still hesitant to leave him however, so he decided to stay with him a little bit longer and check up on him throughout the night. He scanned his body once more, frowning when he saw no improvement on the mysterious disease. He needed a second opinion. Damnit, he needed Spock.

They talked for a while, discussing the symptoms and his current condition, hypothesizing about possible cures and treatments. He already looked better after warming up and using the tissue regenerator: his skin wasn't as cracked and his nails were already back, even if they were thin and brittle. As they talked in a loud whisper, Eiffel began to stir, mumbling in his sleep as he tried to shift his body. They stopped talking and Bones walked over to his bed, a warm smile finding its way onto his face as he greeted him gently, "Hey, you're up. How're you feeling?"

Eiffel rubbed his head, grimacing as he tried to sit up. Bones placed a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back into a laying position. He groaned, "Hera, turn down the lights." Bones disregarded the name, sure he was still delirious from passing out for so long, "Unfortunately I have to have the lights on no less than 40% in sick bay, so this is as dim as they can get. I'm Doctor McCoy," he said, holding out his hand. Eiffel stared up at him in awe, "No way." He took his hand and shook it, squeezing it slightly. "Oh man, everything seems so real," he said, looking around the room in amazement.

"It is real," Bones assured, but Eiffel shook his head.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure this is all in my head. I mean, you're all just characters, so this can't be real, right?" Bones blinked in surprise and Spock turned to him, "Perhaps the wormhole we passed through brought us to a parallel universe, one in which we are not real people," he offered.

"We better talk to Jim," Bones said before turning to Eiffel, "Stay here," he ordered. "Sure thing Doc," he said flashing him a thumbs up. He waited for the door to close and checked to see if the coast was clear before he made to stand. He stumbled forth on wobbly legs before catching himself. He stared in shock at his feet that were firmly planted on the ground and stomped once, twice. He grabbed a pen off of a nearby desk and let go, watching it fall to the floor.  He wasn't floating. Maybe this was real... Or maybe it was his mind playing a cruel trick on him, trying to convince him that he was somewhere safe when he really wasn't. It wouldn't be the first time. Back on the Hephaestus he often dreamed that he was back on earth, on solid ground, and he had his normal life back. But he also had wild dreams that seemed well beyond the realm of possibility, and he was pretty sure this might be one of them. Maybe this was his version of heaven. He was a big enough nerd for it to be considered heaven.

He walked around the empty med bay and soon became bored. He knew he was told to stay put, but it was too tempting to slip out the door. If he were back on the Hephaestus, Hilbert would've just strapped him to the bed or have Minkowski or Hera track him down for him. But he wasn't on the Hephaestus, and probably never would be again... A little walk outside wouldn't hurt. Just down the hall.

He peaked out the door, checking both ways to see if anyone was coming before he stepped out. He pulled his iv stand through the door and started shuffling down the long corridor. Man, the Enterprise was a lot bigger than it looked on tv. He was half way down the hall when suddenly four people rounded the corner and they all stopped dead in their tracks. Bones was the first to recover from his shock and his expression quickly morphed into one of anger.

"What the hell did I say?" he yelled and rushed up to his patient, using his arm to help support him. It was clear that he was not happy with him, and it was honestly a little scarier than Eiffel thought it would be.

"To stay put..."

"That's right, so what are you doing out here?"

"I was bored! And c'mon, I'm on the freaking Starship Enterprise how can I not be expected to wander around?" Bones rolled his eyes, helping him back to sick bay and mumbling to himself, "Damn kid's just as bad as Kirk." Eiffel couldn't help but notice the quick smile that flashed on Kirk's face at those words and felt his heart flutter a bit.

Bones laid him back down on his bed and helped him get comfortable before taking a seat in front of him. "How're you feeling? You must be feeling pretty well considering the field trip you just took." Eiffel laughed briefly, "Yeah, I feel better than I did earlier."

Jim adjusted himself before he spoke, "I know this might be hard to talk about, but how long were you on that ship?"

Eiffel reached up to run a hand through his hair, but stopped when his fingers touched his scalp, remembering that his hair was still gone. He brought his arm back down with a dejected look that he quickly tried to mask as neutral. "Uh it's hard to say ‘cause I went in the cryo so many times, but I think a couple hundred at least? I was several thousand light years away from this base and my boosters could blast once every three days, so I'd put myself under, wake up, try the boosters, send out a distress message and repeat. I did that until I ran out of water," he explained. I'm still not convinced I'm off that fucking thing, he wanted to add.

"The state that we found you in was alarming, but I'm glad you're feeling better, just don't get up and go wandering around damnit!" Bones scolded, wanting to make his point clear. "Not only are you still weak and sick, but you could also infect other people since I don't know what the hell is wrong with you." Eiffel met his eyes, "The Decima virus..."

Everyone was very interested, but also very confused. He knew about this? And knew what it was? Bones decided he needed to get all the answers he could. "You obviously know more about this than me, so what is it, and how did you get it?" Eiffel snorted; he couldn't believe he was having to explain his disease to Doctor Leonard McCoy himself.

"Apparently I was the lab rat for a virus that's supposed to save humanity and make them stronger, but also slowly kills you since it's not perfected yet, or at least that's what I gathered from Dr. Frankenstein's fucked up excuse for injecting me with the modern black plague," Eiffel spat out and crossed his arms over his chest. He hated Hilbert for what he had done to him and betraying the whole crew, but after everything, he still missed him. The fact that knowing you'll never get the chance to see someone again, even if you can't stand them, makes you miss them. He was frustrated with himself for the fact he would give anything to see Hilbert again, because that would mean he was back with his crew. Still, he felt the bitterness rise as he spoke, "That bastard injected me with the virus after he already tested and killed Lovelace's crew, all while pretending to be my friend." He wasn't talking to them anymore, instead addressing himself out loud. "And now I'm stuck with it, and without him to keep it in check, I'll die." He stared straight ahead, refusing to look at any of them. He knew he was slowly going insane, he could feel it. His grip on reality slowly loosened and he just knew he was going to wake up on that tiny space ship surrounded by nothing but stars. He was brought out of his thoughts by two strong hands gripping his shoulders, "You're not gonna die because I won't let you." Eiffel blinked a few times and found himself staring straight into Bones' eyes, and it made him feel a little bit safer. And he believed him.

Hi! Love your writing btw Do you think you could write about Izuku, Kirishima, and all might with a s/o who has a fear of doctors/ needles and they go with them to their appointment/ shots? You don’t have to write it if you don’t want to! Lots of love🤍 ⊂((・▽・))⊃

Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoy!

Info: Gender neutral, Izuku and Kirishima aged up about 23/24, all three dating and living with their s/o (separate asks), not quite the request, but these are what came to me and hope you like!

Warning: Needle/shots, hospitals, injury, slight blood, swearing….ugh think that is all

Izuku Midoriya: Flu Shot

You had reread the paper in your hand at least three times already and as it finally sunk in you would let out a groan. Due to a virulent strain of the flu going about and at least two agencies cut to half staff because of it the Hero Commission had sent out a mandate that everyone was to get their flu vaccination by the end of the week. You understood, you really did and fully supported the idea, but why did it have to be a damn shot! Laying your head on the kitchen table your ears would pick up the sound of steps coming closer before the chair next to you was being pulled out, “So I see you got the notice too” Izuku would say with a small sigh, knowing full well you would not be happy.

There were two things about shots that got you, but you really did not count it under a fear. The first was that you could not stand the sight of a needle going into your skin be it for something to be injected or blood to be drawn, but that was easy to deal with as you just closed your eyes until it was over. IV’s were a bit more iffy, but usually the gauze over the actual spot was enough to ease you. The other part was worse and why you absolutely despised getting any vaccine from the flu shot to tetanus and that was no matter what it was you always had some sort of bad reaction. The injection site swelled up, you got a fever or even once had a rash for a week down your arm!

You had explained all this to your boyfriend once when the topic of the flu shot came up in the previous years and he understood, but now you had to do it or you would get suspended until you did according to the letter. Groaning once again into the table you would turn your head to look at him and would see that he did feel bad about it, but your jobs were too important to let something like this stop you. Taking a deep breath you would sit up and sigh, running your fingers through your hair a bit, “I’ll call work and see about taking two days off just in case and then we can go to the clinic in the morning” you reason, though your tone was a bit bitter. Izuku would give you a soft smile, proud of you of course, and would stand to go and grab his own phone, pressing a kiss to your temple as he moved past, “I’ll see about open times” he assure you and much to your dismay it would seem as if time would fly past till your appointments.

You would be fidgeting as the time came, but your boyfriend would give your hand a strong squeeze to assure you he was right there before you head to the counter to sign in. The wait not too long at least you would both head back once called, though were in separate rooms, and went through the usual steps. As it came time you would eye the nurse and the needle, looking away when she uncapped it, and it was over with a pinch. Waiting a few minutes in case of any sudden reaction you were relieved that nothing like that happened, but you were certain you were not home free. Thanking her of course and taking the paperwork you would be out once allowed, grabbing Izuku’s hand soon as you spotted him.

Of course he would let you tug him out, softening a bit as you seemed to shudder it off once outside, “I am proud of you, y/n” he tell you, meaning it of course, but as you decided to get lunch he could see the truth in what you had explained. About two hours later he could see you trembling for a different reason and would press a hand to your forehead, “Fever, come on let’s get you home” Worry creeping into him he would make sure you got home safely and settled on the couch once in some cool comfy clothing. Sitting next to you he would soon be checking you with the thermometer and was relieved your temperature was not too high. He would have to keep an eye on you though and pressing a soft kiss to your lips did not miss your eyes brightening when he told you he had taken off from work as well, just in case.

Eijiro Kirishima: Stitches

How you had ever met Eijiro was still fairly a mystery to you even, you were a civilian in every sense of the word and merely said hi when he had come through the restaurant you had been working at, at the time with FatGum and Tamaki…that was three years ago now and you really could not be happier. He was a wonderful boyfriend and you were completely in love, in fact you were just going to clean up the now dead flowers he had gotten you last week because you were having a bad day. Unfortunately for you that would be the cause of you needing to go to the emergency room for the first time in your life.

You honestly were not sure what happened, you picked the vase up off the bookshelf in the living room, turned around and took a step when you would find yourself falling. Did you trip over the rug you had to cover the area beneath the coffee table? Did you trip over the table? It really did not matter as next thing you really recall was pushing yourself up and feeling something warm down your arm, getting dizzy as you saw it was blood and realizing the vase had shattered. What should you do? Luckily someone else was able to answer that question for you.

Eijiro had heard the crash as he had just been stepping out of the shower and was to the living room at full speed. Body hardening in case of an intruder as one hand held up the towel around his hips. Spotting you on the ground he would relax his quirk, but was seeing the blood quickly, “Y/n! Hang on babe, I got you” he say, in front of you quickly and you would hear fabric ripping before realizing he was wrapping strips of towel around the wound till the bleeding was staunched. “Eiji?” you murmur, confused as you could feel the pain starting to set in and feeling him kiss your head, “Just keep your arm up to your shoulder, I will be right back” being what he said in return, making sure you did as he said before he was up.

Moving quick as he could he would be dressed and had his wallet, phone and keys in his cargo pockets before he was back to you. Scooping you up as if you were a feather, hurrying to the car and to the hospital. As he drove you would luckily come around more instead of passing out to his relief, “I tripped” you speak first and he glance to you a moment, “It’s alright Y/n, we are almost there” he assure you, reaching to give your knee a squeeze as he pulled into the parking lot. Once parked he would be around to get you, carrying you inside and relieved when you were taken right back to be checked out. The nurses would allow him to stay and he kept close to your good side out of their way as he noticed you starting to tremble and not from cold or pain.

“Eiji, I’m scared” you would admit quietly as a suture kit was brought out and he would soften. Hand turning your cheek to face him as the other kept your good hand, “Hey, like I said, I got you babe. Just focus on me” he murmur, pressing your foreheads together as you would get five neat stitches up your arm, “I am just glad I was home” you hear even quieter, feeling his own hand shaking and you just hold him tighter as you whisper, “My hero”

All Might: Hospital

All For One….that terrible monster of a villain had been taken down, but at what cost? You had been shaking and on the edge of your seat as you watched the news unfold, your boyfriend of course arriving to fight and you could just see how hard it was. He very nearly got killed and you just knew he had used the last of his power to end it all. And for that moment it was over. Your view blocked as the news crews were pushed back and your heart was hammering more in your chest.

You had nearly been going crazy until Grand Torino would call you several hours later to tell you his condition, stable, but battered and where he was. You could visit him any time he assured you and it would make you freeze, the one place you avoided was hospitals. The older man knew this, your boyfriend and all of your friends knew this, but you could feel your soul sparking as he added the words, “Toshinori needs you” before he had to hang and in truth you already knew that in your heart. You needed him too, but could you do it? You had too, for both your sakes.

It wasn’t that you disliked hospitals, no you actually adored them in the fact of just what they did in saving people, your problem was the germs. Your mother, rest her soul, had been extremely germaphobic and if it had not been for your father there to balance things you probably would have ended up the same way. Of course you still had your own issues, you could not have any dirty dishes laying around and you had a cleaning schedule, but it was different things every few days. When you went out you did usually wear a mask over your mouth and nose, having several with different patterns you could wash, but that was about the extent.

Your boyfriend knew it all from the beginning and obviously loved you completely as you had been together six years now. It was just hospitals, and nursing homes too really, they were germ central no matter how clean they were. You hated any time you had to go for a checkup or were so sick you needed medicine, it left you shaking and needing at least two showers, but you had to steel yourself. You knew he would be there a while and damn it you needed to see yourself he was alive! So you would prepare as best you could. Taking an immune system booster with a glass of orange juice you would put on the mask he got you for your birthday and would head there.

By the time you arrived you would be trembling, your damn mind noting every sick person you passed as you headed up to the correct room, and it was only the thought of him waiting that was keeping you from a panic attack. Reaching the door you would knock, a new shudder running through you as you were told to come in, relief. It was his voice 100% and your eyes were tearing as you opened the door. You could see the surprise on his face as you took him in, just staring as you heard his happy shock, “Y/n? Sweetheart….” And he was reaching out his one hand to you, urging you to come to him and you would cross the room, fingers  wrapping around his own as you forget your fear for a moment. Pulling down the mask to press a deep kiss to his lips, just needing to feel him as he did you and almost missing it as he whispered, thank you.

Overnight those tasks and routines can become the precious little places where joy is birthed. ~ Dawn Barton, Laughing Through the Ugly Cry 

You Get ToDawn Barton, Laughing Through the Ugly-Cry and Finding Unstoppable Joy  

Learning to Treasure What You Didn’t Want 

Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. And yet I will show you the most excellent way. — 1 Corinthians 12:31

A deep breath and a huge, slow eye roll. That was my immediate reaction. A family member had just said to me, “You get to.” This was her attempt at reminding me of the holiest of postures — gratitude — so I’d do something I absolutely did not want to do: clean my child’s vomit off my dress and new suede shoes. I can assure you there was no feeling of gratitude in this moment as I stood covered in vomit at my cousin’s wedding. “Honey, you get to clean that vomit.” You get to. If you’re not familiar with this worldview, it’s an idea espoused by pretty much every pastor, women’s conference speaker, and all-knowing aunt I’ve ever encountered: to truly enjoy life the way God wants us to, we must be grateful 24-7. We should be grateful for the little things, the big things, the smelly things, the happy and the sad — in all things we should be grateful. The truth is this: that annoying family member was right. And I do believe it now. Finding joy in the messy, tedious tasks of our everyday lives is darn near impossible sometimes. Driving the kids to school, going to your job, helping with homework, keeping up with sports, meals, and exercise, feeling miserable about what you just ate, and wearing an underwire bra when all you want to do is let those puppies loose — every single day, life is hard, ladies. I know. The tasks seem never-ending, and it can be so difficult to find joy in the tedium. Until one day, when everything that makes your eyes roll is taken away. Overnight those tasks and routines can become the precious little places where joy is birthed. The struggle quickly becomes the gift. My youngest daughter, Ellason, was four years old when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and Makenzie, my oldest, was married and out of the house, tending to her own family about an hour away. My husband, Craig, was in a dusty tent in the Middle East. It was just Ellason and me at home, with a lot of love and support from family and friends. During the biopsy on my right breast, something went wrong, and they burned the skin, leaving a half-inch, black, circular burn at the incision point. Believe it or not, that burn turned out to be one of the best things to happen to me. That burn became something visible and tangible I could use to explain cancer to a four-year-old little girl. We called it the “booby bug,” and it made sense to her sweet four-year-old mind. The booby bug made mommy sick. Getting rid of the booby bug was a lot harder than I imagined it would be. Chemotherapy was a wild beast, and it kicked my butt. The plan was six rounds of a chemo combination called “red devil” (because one of the drugs was red in color), and I would receive those treatments every two weeks. The next phase was a different type of drug that I would receive weekly for twelve weeks, totaling six months of chemotherapy treatments. My chemo weeks looked a little like this: Day 1: Chemo infusion. A nurse covered in protective gear — large plastic mask and all — inserted IVs into the port in my chest and changed them every hour until my body was filled with what I like to call “the poison drugs.” (Side note: Someone should give you a heads-up that your nurse is going to look like the hazmat dudes in ET when she walks in to give you chemotherapy drugs. That image sort of shakes you up. I mean, if the nurse is covered three ways to Sunday so she won’t touch the drugs, why is it a good idea to put them inside of my body? Food for thought.) The entire process lasted about four hours, and then someone would drive me home. Off to bed I would go, feeling tired but otherwise alive. Day 2: The poison drugs hit. Nausea meds and painkillers were a must, but this wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that I had to go back to the cancer center for a bone marrow stimulant injection that increased my white blood cell count so my body could fight infection. I hated it. Imagine feeling so nauseated, with pain seething through every inch of your body, and knowing you have to go back to get a shot that’ll make you feel substantially worse. From a mental perspective, Day 2 was always the hardest for me. Days 3–4: The crescendo of suffering. The poison drugs battled with my body. They were pure misery. I prayed, cried, and begged for God’s mercy through them. Day 5: A hint of hope. A small flicker of light appeared at the end of the tunnel, and I began to feel a bit of relief from the process. The first five days are followed by nine days of recovery and desperately reaching for normalcy until the cycle ends and I am shoved back to the starting line all over again for the next Day 1. The more rounds of chemo I had, the longer the miserable part of the process would take. The effects of Day 2 would stretch over two or three days. And the effects of Days 3 and 4 — my rock-bottom days — would sometimes last almost a week. The overwhelming pain, nausea, and discomfort were constant, and so were my pleading prayers. But I can’t write honestly about my chemo days without adding this: it was in the agony and sickness that I found God on the most beautiful and intimate level. Nothing has pried open my raw, aching heart like having my body and soul assailed by that disease and its horrific treatment. In the depths of my pain, I came to know Him best. I believe it is often at our most helpless, our most vulnerable, that we are most primed to hear and see Him. Anyway, back to the vomit at my cousin’s wedding. Yes, it all comes full circle. I’m sharing the not-so-pleasant details of my chemo routine to paint a picture of what life was like in that season, but also to give you some background on how I learned to embrace the “you get to” philosophy. While I was undergoing treatment, there was no driving Ella to school, no making her lunches or picking out her clothes. There was no playtime, no homework together, no running and tickling. I wanted to play an active role in my own life, and I couldn’t. Chemo was a prize-fighting boxer, and I was on the ground slamming my hands against the floor to tap out. I wanted to be done; I begged for it to be over. I wanted to be a mom, and I didn’t want to be sick a moment longer. Despite how hard I was fighting, I was still riddled with guilt over the kind of mother I was to Ella. I think women are the only creatures who can be gripping the ring of a toilet in sickness and still feeling guilty that they can’t drive their babies to school. We are crazy, beautiful creatures, aren’t we? As I fought through weeks of chemo, I found moments of joy and laughter with Ella. Not on a playground or in a car drive, but in the sweet, quiet moments lying in my bed with her snuggled next to me, close to my belly and wrapped in my arms. I am not sure if I comforted her more or if she comforted me, but Ellason was my saving grace at the end of each day. When I felt well enough, I would make up stories, starring her as the princess, me as the queen, and daddy as the king. (The queen was always very beautiful, of course.) The stories would change daily, and she loved it. After months of treatment, I remember the day I was finally able to pick up Ellason from school. I was elated that I’d been given a two-week break from chemo, and I finally felt well enough to drive. It was something so small, but it meant so much. When the normal, everyday pieces of life get taken away, you realize they make up a beautiful and wonderful existence. Before cancer, I had taken so much of this for granted; I even thought of some of those activities as the burdens. (What do you mean, you need lunch again? Didn’t we just do that yesterday?) In reality, these mundane activities were the sweet blessings of life. When cancer took away the mundane, I finally understood driving my daughter to school was a gift. Chemo was teaching me how to fight for moments of joy and hope. I was learning to look for them, and I was realizing all those things I resented were actually things I got to do. In fact, I eventually reached a rather revolutionary level of “you get to” mastery. Remember what Days 1 through 5 looked like during my chemo treatments? The beast of chemo was destroying me and my life; I hated the treatments and all that came with them. I hated walking into that cancer center and being poisoned each time. Chemo was the enemy — that is, until I learned my hardest “you get to” lesson. Every time I arrived to get chemo, nurses took my vitals and drew my blood to make sure I was “healthy enough” to be poisoned. My body was weaker each round, and my white blood cell count needed to be more than one thousand. When I walked in for my fourth round of red devil, I was fighting with all that I had — but this time I was also battling a fever. After a few minutes, the nurse walked over and with pity in her eyes said, “I’m so sorry. We can’t give you chemo. Your white count is too low.” My body wouldn’t be able to fight the infection. I actually couldn’t get the thing I hated getting most. This was the beginning of a big mind-shift for me. At first I was a little relieved. They gave me a shot of white blood cell booster, hoping to increase my white count overnight, and sent me home. The next day I arrived, and I was ready. My vitals were taken, blood was drawn, and soon I would be heading back for the red devil. But wait. “Dawn,” the nurse said, “your counts are too low again. I am so sorry. We will try again tomorrow.” The tears fell so fast and so hard and wouldn’t stop for hours. I needed this chemo to fight cancer; I had to have it. How could I want something I so intensely loathed? That’s when I realized: I needed to change the story in my head. Chemo was a gift. I get to get chemo. Chemo gave me the ability to fight cancer and live. It was a gift that generations before me did not have. Three days later I was able to receive my gift again. I would love to tell you that my view on making lunches and driving to school has remained in a place of gratitude, that I do it daily with a skip in my step and joy in my heart, but I would be lying. I am human. I complain. I get overwhelmed and annoyed. I grow tired of driving back and forth to school. I roll my eyes at a busy schedule. I loathe going to the grocery store. But I do have a gift that many don’t. When it all seems like too much, I have the gift of remembering what it felt like to have it all taken away. I remember what it felt like to desperately want to drive a little girl to school and go to a playground with her. I know that feeling, and I am grateful for it. I get to make those lunches. I get to clean her vomit off my shoes. Never in a million years would I have dreamed the diagnosis of cancer was a gift. But I can tell you unequivocally it was. A crazy, wild, precious gift. I got to battle cancer. In that battle I learned to love my family more, and I met God on a whole new level. So whether it’s a life-changing battle or one of those mildly irritating or gross parts of life, they don’t look so bad when that story in your head changes. When you realize that the gifts you’re being given are right there in that unattractive packaging. You get to open them, and you might find out that God designed them just for you — for your good and His glory. Excerpted from Laughing Through the Ugly-Cry and Finding Unstoppable Joy by Dawn Barton, copyright Dawn Barton. * * * Your Turn What do you get to do today? Do you get to work from home? Supervise kids' distance learning? Clean the house? Do the laundry? Deal with frustrating co-workers? Shop for an elderly neighbor? How are the get to’s changing your perspective? Come share with us on our blog. We want to hear from you about what you’re grateful for! ~ Laurie McClure, Faith.Full