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doc-pickles · 3 years

Text

anywhere i want (just not home)

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

For the love of my life, the inspiration behind TS week, the wind in my sails… Happy later birthday @odd-birds-and-booksellers I hope you enjoy this

Always, Your Computer Wife,

Nina

We gather here, we line up

Weepin' in a sunlit room, and

If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

The pain in her cheek is still stinging as she struggles to open her eyes. There’s the faintest hint of sunlight filtering through the large window of her bedroom, a new day just beginning only hours after she’d finally been left alone long enough to find some peace.

The bed next to her is cold and empty, Paul having left for work while she was still crying and groaning in pain. He hadn’t spared her a second glance as he’d gotten dressed for the day, stepping over the puddle of blood that had collected on the floor where she’d laid for hours as he kicked her mercilessly, hurling harsh blows and leering insults as she’d tried to protect herself.

She pulls herself up and drags her barely conscious body to the shower, rinsing off the dried blood and sweat as she tends to the wounds she can see. She already knows she has at least one bruised rib and a sprained ankle, but she can’t do much about it now. For now all she can do is rinse off, lay in bed and hope that tonight doesn’t bring more of the same.

Jo bolts upright in bed, hand pressed to her chest as she attempts to slow her breathing down. The dream echoes in the back of her head, the painful memories replaying themselves in vivid technicolor right before her eyes.

She knows why they’re haunting her again, knows that he’s looking for her right now and that he won’t stop until he’s found her. Paul has made that much clear with his texts and letters, little signs to make it clear that they’re not done yet.

A hand closes over hers and she almost jumps before she remembers where she is. Jo squeezes Alex’s hand back, letting him pull her back down and into his embrace. As soon as his arms circle around her she can feel her body begin to calm down.

“It’s not even 2 AM, try and get some sleep, you need it,” Alex’s voice in her ears convinces her to close her eyes, even if sleep is far off the feeling of him so close helps to relax her. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

'Til my dying day

It’s later that same day when Jo receives another text, the ping stopping her during rounds and prompting her to make a flimsy excuse to Meredith as she rushes to the nearest bathroom.

Can’t wait to see you soon, both of you.

The text lingers in her mind as her breakfast reappears, tears flowing as she tries to drown out the overwhelming noise in her mind. Paul didn’t make empty threats, that’s one thing she knew for sure. The texts she was receiving were just the tip of the iceberg for whatever he had in store for her.

“Jo? You in here?”

She can barely respond to Alex in between crying and being sick, her body overwhelmed as she tries to keep herself calm. Jo can hear Alex saying something incomprehensible as she begins to hyperventilate, his voice growing further away as her breathing became more ragged.

The last thing Jo registers before everything goes black is Alex holding her against his chest, his fingers threading through her hair in an attempt to calm her as his heartbeat echoed unsteadily in her ears.

When she comes back around Jo’s not shocked to find herself laying in a hospital bed, an IV and monitoring wires hooked up to her pale skin. Before she has a chance to overthink anything though Alex is in front of her, his hands running down her cheeks and wiping away the tears she hadn’t realized had collected there.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you,” Alex’s voice is soft as she meets his eyes, his gaze causing her to melt into another round of tears. “Oh Jo, it’s okay.”

“It’s not! He’s going to kill me, he already knows where I am and this time he’s going to make sure I don’t survive,” Jo chokes the words out, her fingers ghosting over her protruding stomach. “Alex, he's not going to leave me alone until both of us are dead. I can’t put our baby at risk like that.”

The thought almost makes her sick again, her daughter kicking against her hand as she draws in a deep breath. Of all the wild and unexpected things her and Alex had been through, their daughter was by far her favorite. Even with a few weeks left until she arrived Jo already felt a fierce instinct to protect the little girl growing in her womb.

“I’m not going to let him get anywhere near the two of you, I promise,” Alex brushes back a few strands of hair lingering on her forehead, pressing a kiss to the cool skin as he settles into the bed next to her. “You’re safe with me Jo, both of you are.”

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Jo wants to believe Alex, she really does. Since her breakdown over Paul’s threats he had been by her side whenever he could. His presence was comforting but it did little to calm the raging mental battle she was fighting inside her head.

Now though, as she stares down at her daughter sleeping peacefully in her arms, she knows that she made the right decision. She just hopes Alex agrees with her.

“She's perfect, you did so good,” Alex had repeated the words over and over since Isla had made her appearance almost six hours ago, but they still prompt a smile on Jo’s face. “I love you two so much.”

“I love you, we both do,” Jo leans up and captures his lips with her own, lingering a little longer than she normally would as Alex’s fingers trace her cheek delicately. “Would you do me a big favor? I left my robe at home and it’s freezing in here. Could you go home real quick and grab it?”

Alex nods, a grin on his face as he stands from the chair at her bedside and gathers his keys and wallet. Jo watches him intently, memorizing every movement and expression that makes him exactly the man she fell in love with. He leans down to press one more kiss to her forehead then Isla’s before promising to be back soon.

As the door to her hospital room shuts, Jo looks down at her daughter, tears splashing onto the newborn's cheeks as her mother watches her, “Your daddy loves you very much, don’t you ever forget that.”

And you're the hero flying around, saving face

“Alex, are you coming to work today? It’s been a week,” Meredith’s voice rings out from the doorway of the loft, but Alex can’t bring himself to answer her. She’d been by everyday since he’d come home, her voice prodding at him the only sound in the loft.

He’d gone home to get Jo’s robe like she’d asked, finally finding it tucked away at the very back of the closet instead of hanging in the bathroom like it usually was. On his way back to her room, he’d stopped in the hospital gift shop and grabbed the fluffiest pink and white teddy bear sitting in the window. He had told the cashier that his daughter had just been born and showed off the photo of Jo and Isla that was already his phone lock screen.

And then he’d gone upstairs, the missing robe and teddy bear tumbling from his hands as he found an empty bed and bassinet, Jo and Isla’s bags gone from the room that they’d occupied not even an hour before when he’d left. He’d asked every nurse and doctor on shift but no one had an answer for him. When he finally made it back to the room, he saw the note hastily scribbled across a spare piece of paper, his knees giving way as he read the words printed in Jo’s recognizable script.

I couldn’t let him find us, I’m so sorry. Please don’t worry, we’re safe.

Love you always.

J & I

He’d sat on the floor of the hospital room until Meredith had come to collect him at the bidding of the nurses on the floor. She’d given him a sympathetic look and held him as he cried, only letting his guard down for his closest friend.

The reality hadn’t truly sunk in until he came home later that night to an empty loft filled with baby gear and the scent of Jo lingering on every surface. He’d screamed then, throwing pillows and couch cushions and anything he could find in an attempt to get some of his emotions out in the open.

It hadn’t helped though, the sadness he’d felt morphing into feelings of anger and helplessness. Alex knew that Jo was acting out of desperation, doing what she truly thought was right, and he couldn’t be mad at her for that. No, his anger was directed at the man that had pushed her to that point, had scared her and haunted her every move so horribly that she’d fled Seattle with their newborn daughter in tow.

As he ignores Meredith for yet another day, Alex let his mind wander to Jo and Isla for a moment. He knows Jo would never run with their daughter if she didn’t have a plan to keep her safe, but just the knowledge that they were out there without him broke his heart.

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

His fingers press down the collar of the light blue button up once more before sliding the black suit jacket over it. He examines himself in the mirror of the hotel room one last time before turning to leave. He’d only been to Seattle once before for a medical conference, but this trip held a much more important air to it.

Brooke, his Brooke, was close. Closer than she’d ever been before and he couldn’t wait to see her again. He was delighted when he’d found her again, even more so when he found out that she was a doctor giving him the perfect opportunity to drop in on her. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he saw her.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

When Alex finally makes it back to work he’s met with an abundance of pitying looks and unhelpful comments. He knows most of his coworkers have good intentions but he’s in the verge of screaming at the next person who interacts with him. All he wants to do is work and try and forget that his daughter and the love of his life aren’t waiting for him at home like they should be.

“Alex! I have someone I want you to meet,” Arizona’s bubbly voice almost makes Alex roll his eyes, the blonde not doing much to improve his demeanor since he was in no mood to meet anyone new. “This is Doctor Paul Stadler, he’s an expert on laparoscopic surgery techniques which is always helpful when we have tiny humans to save.”

Alex can feel his blood run cold as he turns towards Arizona and the man standing next to her. Whatever picture he had painted in his head fades as he stares at the man in front of him. Despite his bright grin Alex knows exactly what Paul is capable of, what he had done and threatened to do to Jo.

“While I’d love to meet your whole team Doctor Robbins, I’m not here on business today. I’m looking for Doctor Wilson actually.”

“Oh,” Arizona’s face falls, gaze turning to Alex as his jaw tightens. “Actually she’s-“

“She’s gone, she left,” Alex’s voice has an edge that makes even him flinch at how harsh and cold it is.

Paul eyes Alex for a moment, looking him over before speaking again, “That’s unfortunate. Would you happen to know where she is? I’d love to speak with her.”

“Well get in line then because I've been waiting for her to come home for the past three weeks,” Alex slams the iPad in his hands onto the counter of the nurses station, eyes ablaze as he stares Paul down. “You harassed her for months on end and scared her so much that she ran away with our daughter hours after giving birth.”

Paul attempts to conceal the smirk on his face but fails, causing Alex to step towards him with clenched fists. Arizona steps between the two men, fixing Alex with a hard stare.

“Back up Alex. I know that you’re upset about Jo but-“

“But nothing! He’s the reason my girlfriend and daughter are gone!”

“Okay why don’t you take the rest of the day off,” Arizona’s hands squeezing his shoulders finally breaks Alex’s gaze away from Paul whose face has broken into a full on shit eating grin. Arizona and Alex exchange a look and he can tell she’s holding back her anger now as well. “Alex, go home.”

How can I when they’re not there?

The question echoes in his mind the whole drive back to the loft, Alex’s heart constricting as he sat on the edge of his and Jo’s bed. The loft was still empty, sounds still echoing off the walls as he sat alone. His mind brings up the image of Jo and Isla sitting in their hospital room as he walked away, not knowing that was the last time he’d see them.

He leans forward, reaching into his dresser and rummages around his sock drawer for a minute before pulling out a velvet box. When Jo had told him she was pregnant he’d immediately gone out and bought the ring. Not because of Isla, but because starting a family with Jo was all the confirmation he needed that she was it for him. Now the box sat collecting dust in his drawer, it’s future uncertain as he wondered exactly where Jo was.

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene

“And this is your daddy and your Auntie Meredith. They love you so much,” despite knowing that the infant couldn’t understand what she said or even clearly see the photo she had pulled up on her phone, Jo made sure that Isla knew about all of the people they loved in Seattle. “Your daddy misses you so much, baby girl. I’m sorry I took you away from him, I know that makes me a crappy mom.”

“You’re not a crappy mom,” Jo looks from Isla to the man sitting next to her, his hand settling on her shoulder as he fixes her with a knowing look. “You did what you had to do.”

“Some days it doesn’t feel like that,” Jo sighs, her head falling to his shoulder as she fights back tears. “I took her from her dad! I took her away from the only family she’ll ever have, Link. And why? Because I’m scared?”

Link pulls back from Jo, meeting her eyes as he speaks, “You had every reason to run, you know that. I’ve seen what he’s capable of, I wouldn’t want to worry about that all the time if I were you. Especially with a newborn, I get it. So don’t feel too bad for yourself, I think you made the right choice.”

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

“Jo?”

The lights in the loft are off but Jo’s car is parked out front. When he switches the lights on Alex sees Jo shoving clothes into a tote bag, tear stains tracking down her cheeks.

“Jo what are you doing?”

"I'm going to Stephanie’s for a few nights, just until I can figure things out.”

Jo’s voice is nervous and she's talking a mile a minute. She still hasn't looked up at Alex but he can see the bright red hives cropping up on her neck already.

"I'm sorry it was an accident but I’m going to

fix it. It's my fault, I'll fix it!”

"What are you talking about,” despite the fact that he's spoken up more than once Jo seems to be in a world of her own.

“Don't worry about it, you don't need more stress,” Jo’s hands are shaking as she closes the bag she's holding. "It's still early, it'll be an easy fix. I'm going to fix it, I have an appointment scheduled."

It clicks for Alex then just exactly what Jo is talking about. He sinks to his knees next to her tilting her chin up so she’ll finally look at him.

“Are you pregnant?”

"I'm sorry, I missed my birth control it was an accident," Jo’s tone is frantic now as more tears begin to fall. "I have an appointment, I'm going to fix it-“

"Jo slow down, I'm not mad so stop apologizing,” Alex wiped at the tears that had collected on Jo’s cheeks. "You don't want our baby?”

Jo blinked up at Alex as if nothing he was saying was making sense to her.

“What's actually the matter Jo? Why were you so scared to tell me?"

“I… I'm married."

“What?"

“I'm married to a guy who nearly beat me to death. And when I got pregnant I thought he'd

be happy and maybe he'd let up, instead he yelled and screamed and then he,” Jo pauses, eyes downcast as she looks down at her hands. “When he was done with me for the night I wasn't pregnant anymore.

“He wouldn't let me get birth control though so the next time I just solved the problem quietly. And when it happened a third time I ran. I ran and changed my name and never turned back,” Jo finally looks up and meets Alex’s gaze, eyes watery still as he watches her. “I had a miscarraige that time, probably because of how banged up I was. But it got me out of there. So when I started having the same symptoms again I freaked out.”

“Oh Jo…”

“Alex, I’m terrified of my past and of losing you and losing this baby… I’ve already lost far too much. I don’t want to lose any more.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m all in with you even if it means we never get married. You and this baby mean everything to me. That is if you want it.”

��Of course I do, I want this more than anything. I want kids with you, I really do but…”

“Okay then we’ll do it.”

“Really? You dont think I’m too damaged or crazy?”

“Yes Jo, I want all of that,” Alex pulled Jo into his lap, placing a hand over her stomach as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you and you’re just about the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

The room is spinning when she pries her eyes open, dried blood making the task difficult. She tries to sit up, but the pain radiating from her stomach keeps her down. She knows if she moves she’ll make it worse, but her body is in pain and she can’t lay in this position much longer.

As soon as she makes a move, the pain is back. She thinks it’s his foot that’s making contact with her ribs now, digging into her back as her body curls in on itself.

“Stop! Please!”

The cries are useless, they always are, but she hopes that maybe they’ll convince him to end her suffering sooner or throw the next punch a little softer.

“Please stop! Stop!”

Her shoulders are shaking as she blinks her eyes open again, a pair of blue eyes staring down at her in concern.

“It was just a nightmare, you’re okay and you’re safe,” Link’s words help to steady her heartbeat a little, her eyes moving to Isla who's peacefully sleeping in his arms. “I woke you up because I just turned the news on. Take a look.”

“Former Harvard University professor Paul Stadler was arrested early yesterday morning on charges of battery and assault against his girlfriend, who is still being treated for her injuries at Massachusetts General Hospital. Since his arrest, three more women have come forward with allegations against Stadler ranging from ongoing harassment to physical violence and sexual assault. Boston PD is asking any other victims to contact them at this time.”

Jo stares blankly at the television in front of her, eyes welling with tears as the news footage continues to roll. She wasn’t alone and she was so close to being free from Paul’s hold on her.

“You have to go to Boston, your testimony could put him away,” Link’s voice snaps her out of her reverie, eyes moving from the television to him. “Jo, he’s going to prison. You can finally be free.”

The hope that had ignited her heart just moments earlier was crushed as she played through the possibilities before her. What if she testified and Paul wasn’t put in prison? What if he continued to harass her? What if he hurt Isla? Or Alex?

“I can’t. I can’t face him again… There's too much on the line,” Jo looks away from Link, her tears finally falling. “I have too much to lose.”

“And you’ll be stuck right here if you don’t do anything!”

“At least I’ll be safe then.”

“And what about Alex? You’re okay never seeing him again? Never letting Isla see him?”

Jo stands suddenly, facing Link with an angry expression, “You don’t get to make the calls here Link! I appreciate everything you’ve done for us but I can’t risk everything when there’s not a guarantee that it’ll end up well.”

Jo storms out of the room then, complex emotions overwhelming her as she sinks into her bed. She wishes things were easier, were more black and white instead of the fuzzy grey she’d become so accustomed to. But they aren’t, they never would be with Paul and now she’d dragged Alex and Isla and even Link into the pools of grey she’d spent so long trying to avoid.

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

Alex watched his phone ring for a moment, debating on picking up at all. He doesn’t recognize the number and he doesn’t know anyone from California. But he still clicks the green accept button, hoping whoever it was wasn’t going to waste his time.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m so glad you picked up.”

Alex freezes, stares at his phone for a moment, then brings it back up to his ear, “Jo? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” there’s a long pause and Alex almost thinks she’s hung up before she begins to cry. “I’m so sorry Alex. I’m so sorry we left you. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know, I get why you left. I hate it but I understand,” a sigh leaves him as he rests his head against the wall next to him, tears forming in his eyes as well, “Are you okay?”

“Yes we’re both fine, I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t have somewhere safe to run to,” Jo sucks in a breath, as if her next words are taking everything out of her. “Paul is going to prison.”

“I know, I saw. Are you going to testify?”

“I don’t know. I want to but… There's too much at risk. I don’t want him to hurt you or Isla.”

Just the sound of his daughter's name tugs at Alex’s heart, the tears that had been welling in his eyes spilling onto his cheeks.

“If you don’t go you’re going to be living in fear for the rest of your life. But if you do, you can get closure. And you can save more people from getting hurt by Paul.”

She lets his words sink in for a moment before he hears her voice again, “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, you and Isla both,” Alex can hear shuffling in the background, a deep voice and then a small cry.

“I have to go, Alex.”

“Wait Jo-”

“I love you. We both do.”

“I love you too.”

The line goes dead then and Alex can’t help the sob that breaks from his chest. He misses Jo, misses Isla, misses the feeling of wholeness that came to him when he would climb into bed with Jo at the end of every day.

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you would still miss me in your bones

Alex doesn't know what drives him to fly to Boston, but he feels a small sense of relief when he sees Paul Stadler in the defendant's seat. A sick feeling makes itself at home in the pit of his stomach as he watches half a dozen women testify to the horrors that Paul had put them through, detailing the ways he had tormented them. Jo had never gone into detail to him but if what she went through was even half as bad as what he was hearing then he understood why she had gone to such extremes to hide from Paul.

He watches as the final woman testifies and finds her seat again, the courtroom silent except for the prosecuting attorneys whispering among themselves. Finally, one of the lawyers stands and addresses the courtroom, “Your honor, we’d like to call our final witness. The prosecution calls Brooke Elizabeth Stadler, now Josephine Alice Wilson, to the stand.”

Alex feels the air leave his lungs as he watches Jo approach the bench. Her hair is shorter and a dirty blonde color but she’s still the same woman he knows so well. The dark blue dress she’s wearing sways lightly as she takes the stand, stating her name and swearing in before she begins to give her testimony. Jo explains how she and Paul met, how they married, and then she goes into the abuse she endured. Alex listens to the detailed accounts she gives, accompanied by the numerous hospital reports.

“And then one day I got sick of it and I ran. I knew Paul would find me though so I fled the state and changed my name. I started a new life and I have a beautiful daughter,” Jo finally meets Alex’s gaze and he gets the overwhelming urge to wrap her up in his arms and hold her close. “But Paul found me again and he was threatening me so as soon as my daughter was born I ran again. I left behind my new life, the only place I’ve ever felt safe because I knew he would find me again and I couldn’t risk him hurting my daughter.”

The air in the courtroom is thick as Jo’s words sink in. Alex knows he’s not the only one who’s been affected by her testimony and the words of everyone that went before her. The prosecutor thanks Jo, the defending attorney waiving their right to question her. As she steps down from the stand she meets Alex’s gaze for a moment before turning away and going back to her seat.

And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky)

And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)

“Jurors, have you come to a decision?”

“We have your honor,” there’s a tense silence in the courtroom as the decision is handed off to the judge. “We find the defendant Paul Stadler guilty on all charges.” A breath of relief leaves Alex as he turns to look at Jo. There’s tears streaming down her face and the slightest hint of a smile as she looks at him. Before he can get up and go to her though she's surrounded by the other women who had testified, all of them crying in relief.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

She sees him about fifty feet in front of her, his back to her as he stands almost perfectly still. She watches him for a moment, his slumped shoulders and overall defeated attitude and for a moment she feels guilty for what she’s put him through in the past three months. Before she can dwell on the feeling for too long Alex is turning towards her, looking over her with that same sad expression he’d been wearing in the courtroom.

There’s a moment where all Jo and Alex do is stare at each other before she finds herself rushing forward and launching herself into his embrace. His arms are holding her tightly, refusing to let go even as she begins to cry into his chest.

This moment, the feeling of being in Alex’s arms again, is all Jo has wanted since she’d left Seattle.

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

“Alex, I’m so-”

“Stop, you don't need to apologize to me,” Alex pulls back from Jo, one hand coming to cup her cheek. “I get it, I understand where you’re coming from. I know why you ran so don’t ever think of apologizing to me. I’m just glad that you’re safe.”

A fresh round of tears springs to Jo’s eyes as she looks up at Alex, “I don’t deserve you. I’ve put you through so much.” Alex blinks down at Jo, not believing what he’s hearing. Their relationship had never been one sided, they’d both supported each through tough situations and had come out stronger at the end. In his eyes this was nothing more than another speed bump.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you back Jo. I love you and all of this? None of it changes how I feel about you,” Alex leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Jo’s lips. “I love you and I’m glad you’re back in my arms.”

And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed

“Hey! I just heard the verdict!”

Jo turns at the sound of Link’s voice, a wide smile spreading across her face as her best friend comes into view. It’s not so much the blonde man’s presence that makes her grin as it is the infant in his arms. Isla is wide eyed as she looks at Jo, the three month old blinking up at her mother with a sense of wonder.

“Hi baby girl, I have someone who’s very excited to see you,” Jo eagerly takes her daughter from Link before turning and looking at Alex. “Isla say hi to daddy, he missed you sooo much.”

The look on Alex’s face as he takes Isla from Jo’s arms is priceless, tears welling in his eyes as he lets out a watery laugh. The little girl snuggles comfortably into his arms, as if she had done it a hundred times before and Jo can’t help her own tears as they leak onto her cheeks.

“You three get together, I think this moment needs to be remembered.” Alex and Jo both heed Link’s instruction and wipe their tears away to boast wide grins. The photo of the three of them squeezed together after a grueling ordeal graces their family mantle for years to come. Even when there are dozens of other family photos, pictures from Alex and Jo’s wedding, and the birth of their second daughter, the photo of Jo, Alex, and Isla standing in front of the courthouse in Boston remains the centerpiece of their living room as a reminder of the sacrifices they all made to keep their family together.

Look at how my tears ricochet

#jolex #alex karev #jo wilson #jo karev #greys anatomy #jo x alex #jolex fanfic #greys anatomy fanfic #tsjolexweek21 #nina writes #jolex fanfiction

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paper-n-ashes · 3 years

Text

sparks and embers - chapter 2

Characters: Poe Dameron x Original Female Character, Kylo Ren x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Summary: Alexys is a doctor living a life of exclusivity on Raxus, hoping to survive through a peaceful existence, concealing herself from those she believes would use her, or kill her. When fate intervenes and instigates a perilous journey she’d been desperately trying to avoid, Alex finds herself caught in the middle of two sides in both war and love.

Chapter 2 - Consciousness

Words: 3.4k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: mentions of blood and broken bones, medical procedures

Read on AO3

It was the light of morning that caused my eyes to flutter open, the hardness of the tiled floor beneath slowly recognised in an increasing ache pulsing through my body.

I was slow to move, measured actions helping to bring myself into a seated position, arms shakily holding me up at the sides. Memories of the previous evening flooded back in swift succession, along with the pain of immense fatigue that always followed the act of letting the Force do my healing for me.

Did it even work?

My hand gripped the hospital bed that his body remained slumped on and I pulled myself upwards, feet gliding along the ground under my legs until I could stand. The scene before me was still shocking, even in remembering all that happened. Eventually, I noted the even breaths seeping in and out of the pilot’s chest.

He survived the night. Well done.

The numbers on the monitor confirmed what the voice had said. Heart rate steady. Oxygen levels optimum. Blood pressure higher than it had ever reached the night before. Looking over the battered and broken man, covered in dried blood that had spilled to the bed and floor, I felt a rush of emotion break free from its cage in my chest, unleashing an irrepressible urge to cry.

I sobbed quietly, knowing it was both relief and exhaustion that the tears crawled down my face. I wasn’t really sure why it hit me so hard. I didn’t even know this man, and somehow his survival at my hands was overwhelming, bursting at the seams with a happiness I’d never experienced for a patient before.

But then I recalled what I’d done to make it possible.

Fear struck like a spark in the centre of my chest, rippling its way through my veins.

There’s no way I could explain this as a simple act of medical miracle. He’d know. Then they’d know. And everything I’d built would come crumbling down. I’d have to find a new planet, a new home, build a new clinic, leaving everything behind.

I just wanted to heal people. I didn’t want to be a part of either of their worlds, and I didn’t want to d-

A croaky moan escaped from the pilot’s lips, his eyes moving underneath the lids, struggling to open. He groaned louder, and it became clear all too quickly he was starting to feel his extensive injuries. Panic set in, realising I hadn’t had time to give him any anaesthetic or pain relief.

This was going to be a rough wake up.

A piercing whimper bellowed from his chest, startling me into focus. With the trolley at hand I wrenched open the draws in search of anything with a pain-relieving quality and prepared the med-injector with heavy fluid. He’d already started to move his limbs, presumably in a way to understand what was happening, and another strained yell echoed in the room, sending a shiver rocketing down my spine. I jammed the needle into the IV cannula port, pushing in the medicine without much of a thought to appropriate dosage.

I just needed to stop him moving.

He began hollering even harder, tears welling in his eyes as he started to thrash against the mattress. Snatching at his wrists, I slammed them back down on the bed.

“It’s okay! You’re okay! I know it hurts but you’ve got to give the painkiller time to work. I promise it’s going to be alright!”

His eyes flew open, an obvious distress burning from behind brown irises. They flickered over my blood-stained clothes, then locked into mine, pleading, begging for me to do something to take away the agony.

“I know,” I said softly, a more tender edge to my voice. “I know it hurts. I’m doing all that I can. Please just stay still. It will get better. Please.”

The pilot drew in a deep, haggard breath, his bottom lip trembling. Eventually his jaw clenched as our eyes remained fixed, a silent pact of trust hanging in the air. It took me by surprise, how easy it was to calm him, and I seized the chance to soothe him even further.

“My name is Alex, I’m a doctor,” I explained. “Your ship crashed just outside my clinic. You were hurt, badly. You fell unconscious and I brought you in here to treat your injuries.”

Such a simple explanation for the truly gargantuan effort I had performed.

I wonder if he’ll ever know how close to death he was.

It wasn’t the time to tell him now, not when he seemed so scared. There was some semblance of understanding in his features, dark bushy eyebrows furrowed in thought for a moment, only for his eyes to shut again as he withheld a pained cry. I released my grip from his right wrist, placing my hand in his to squeeze gently. An act of sympathy, something I had done many times for people in distress. Even the small movement was enough to make him yelp.

Kriff. I forgot his arm was broken.

“Sorry!” I squeaked. He was still wincing. “Let me try and fix that.”

It was obvious how wrong the angle appeared in his forearm, beginning to prepare more local anaesthetic into the injector handle. I shot the needle a few centimetres above the fracture, the pilot barely flinching. Compared to the rest of his injuries it would likely have felt like nothing at all.

“I need to set this okay? Your arm is going to feel numb in a minute or two. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

His nod was measured, careful not to move anymore than he had to. I left him for a moment to find my universal cast and a sling, giving the injection a few moments to filter through his tissue and into the nerves. When I returned I could see some of the pain medication had already started to take hold, the sting of discomfort in his eyes beginning to waver, his muscles losing their tension and relaxing ever so slightly into the mattress. I prepared the cast, cutting the shapes out for his fingers and thumb, getting it ready for quick application.

“Poe,” he said slowly, his voice croaky and filled with restraint. “My name is Poe.”

I met his gaze again, trying my hardest to put forward an aura of confidence, even in my exhaustion. “Nice to meet you, Poe,” I smiled. With a lightened touch, a finger trailed softly down his right forearm. “Can you feel this?”

“A little,” he whispered. It was clearly hard for him to find his voice again. “It’s kind of… fuzzy.”

“Do you think I could try and set your arm now? I can wait if you prefer.”

“I can handle it.”

Underneath his lips I could imagine gritted teeth, clenching hard, bracing for the pain. It occurred to me then maybe this wasn’t the first time he’d broken a bone.

Without another word I pulled the X-ray unit’s arm up towards his fracture site, hoping he didn’t notice the splashes of his blood smattering the machine. Pressing down on the image button revealed a better picture in comparison to the absolute mess his femur had been. Only his radius was broken, in an even line, no splintering to be seen.

Finally something easy.

With two hands around his arm on either side of the fracture, I poised myself for a quick pull and twist. Poe’s muscles tensed underneath my grip.

“Just try to relax, it will make it much easier,” I insisted.

He drew in a deep breath, and the tension released from underneath my fingertips. I’d learned in my experience not to tell patients exactly when I was going to perform something painful. Something about the surprise of it somehow made it hurt less. So with one fluid movement I pulled and rotated the bone back into place, knowing even before I shot the X-ray it would be aligned. Poe was crushing his eyelids closed, waiting for me to move again.

“It’s okay, I got it.”

His eyes opened, meeting me with a look of surprise. I’d already begun to position the cast, bending the malleable plastic to the contours of his limb.

“First try?” he marvelled. I nodded, while trying to rein in my ego. “Never had someone get it on the first try.”

I swallowed hard. “I, uh... I wasn’t so lucky with your femur.” I flicked through the previous X-rays, pointing to the multiple shots of my attempts to fix the break. His eyes widened, mouth in a small ‘o’.

“That was my leg?” he gasped, “And you put it back?”

Both of our eyes glanced to the wound on his thigh. It was closed.

But I didn’t put any bacta on it.

Poe’s disbelief distracted him from my own. What I’d done last night with my crude attempt at Force healing had managed to not only mend the life-threatening severing of his artery, but also somehow pulsed enough energy to knit his wound back together, leaving a sealed laceration where the deep hole had been. Dread filled me again, weighing down so forcefully I didn’t want to move.

How am I going to explain this?

“T-thank you. For getting the bacta into it so quickly. Must have some good quality stuff.”

Thank every particle in the universe. He suspected nothing.

I moved slightly to position myself in front of the trolley that stored evidence of the low quality bacta solution and salve I had used for his chest wound and burns, and feigned a smile of appreciation.

“Just doing my job.”

All of a sudden it seemed to hit him, the situation he was in. His questions came out in rapid fire, desperate for clarification.

“Wait, where am I? What happened to my ship? Where’s BB-8?”

He began to rise from the mattress, wincing at the many injury points as he pulled himself into an upright position on the bed. The quick movement evidently made him dizzy, as he pulled his newly casted arm onto the bed railing to stabilise a wobble.

“Woah, just hold on a minute there,” I snipped, doctor mode engaged. “You’ve still got some serious injuries that need time to heal. Nasty burns, a collection of broken bones and the remnants of a punctured lung. Now bacta can be a miracle cure but it still needs more time before you start moving around again, or you’re going to ruin all the progress I made.”

Poe looked as if he was going to argue, but as my eyes bore into his, he recoiled back into the bed, sighing from both the pain of movement and the lack of answers.

“I was in the middle of an important mission okay?” he stressed. “There are people who are waiting on me. I need to get a message back to the Resistance. To tell them I’m out of commission.”

I tensed. The thought of the Resistance coming here to pick up their injured pilot was enough to make my heart beat faster. Sure, maybe Poe didn’t suspect anything, but the likelihood of convincing force sensitive people like Leia Organa, or the scavenger girl….

Attempting to fool them into thinking I’d healed this man with a bit of brute force and bacta would be near on impossible. But I couldn’t prevent Poe from contacting anybody without arousing even more suspicion. I’d just have to go along with whatever he wanted until I could formulate some kind of plan.

“Alright, how about I get you my transmitter and you promise not to try and move until I say so?” I offered, the tone in my voice not really implying that no could be an appropriate answer.

“Sure thing doc,” he agreed.

Maker, I hate when people call me that.

I made my way over to my tech station, using the moment to give him a couple of the answers he’d been so desperate for. “You’re on a remote clinic on Raxus, about 3000 kilometres- uh… klicks, from Raxulon. Your ship… Well, I haven’t been outside since it exploded at my front door. And your droid unit… I haven’t seen.” I realised quickly how insensitive this information came out when I looked up from my rummaging to Poe’s horrified expression. He began to sit upwards again, giving even less care to his wounds, forcing me to rush back to stop him. “I haven’t checked outside yet!”

“Why haven’t you been out there?” he demanded, eyes flaming.

“Maybe because I was stuck in here saving your life? And how was I supposed to know you had an astromech droid with you?”

He huffed, seeing the logic in my question. “Can you please check if BB is okay?”

I raised an eyebrow, curious at how much emotion he was committing to this piece of equipment. All of the medical droids I’d come into contact with over the years were extremely flat personality wise. Intelligent and useful, but I’d never grown any type of attachment to them. Nothing like Poe seemed to have with this BB-8 droid.

“Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll go look for the BB unit. Just please stay in bed. And… prepare for the worst.”

Underpromise, overdeliver. One of the many phrases I’d recited during my medical training. I just really hoped the latter would be the case in this situation.

The latch of the clinic door closed softly behind me, the crisp morning atmosphere somewhat refreshing for a moment or two, until I shook myself into focus to assess the completely destroyed X-wing ship consuming my vision. With sunshine finally illuminating the environment, rolling green hills of the countryside extending beyond the horizon, I scanned the blackened metal skeleton of the ship, ashes smattered all over the ground, glass and electrical wires splayed everywhere.

Well, this doesn’t exactly ignite hope.

Walking around what was left of the X-wing, I examined the surrounding area for any trace of a droid - not just the shine of metal, but the possible tracks left by a robot who was looking for its master. I walked slowly into the field behind the crash site, my eyes surveying every bit of ground, hoping to see any metallic glint that might indicate an intact droid.

Since the clinic was the only building for a few kilometres, there was hardly another structure it could be hiding behind, or lodged in. I almost wanted to keep walking, washing my hands of all of this, so I didn’t have to go back and tell Poe his obviously beloved droid hadn’t survived like he did. But another ruined machine caught my attention.

My comm-tower was flattened into nothing - steel, wiring and black plastic flattened into an artificial pancake.

Kriff, more bad news for Poe.

With my only means of communication squished there was no way any of my tech could send a signal far enough to reach the Resistance, let alone the next village over. And now I would have to make the weeklong trek back to Raxulon to get another one.

This day is kicking my ass.

With a long sigh, I ventured towards the ruined X-wing, assuming if I hadn’t found BB-8 by now, it must have been pulverised by the explosion I narrowly avoided last night. I searched the hollow structure of the ship, hoping for any scrap of metal that could be related to the droid, but it was all so black, covered in soot and melted, everything beginning to mutate into some other portion of the machine. When I skimmed over what was left of one of the wings, there was still a rounded hole I assumed BB-8 would have been housed during flights. An empty hole. There was always a possibility the BB droid could have gone searching for help beyond my clinic, but again, there wasn't a trace of movement in the dirt track leading away to the nearest village.

I think it’s time to be the bearer of bad news.

I extricated myself from the mangled ship, looking back towards the front walls of my clinic, noticing now the remnants of the explosion that had left countless dark stains over the light blue paint, along with a few cracks and impact points where metal had hit the cement. The bushes I’d planted a few months ago in time for this planet’s version of spring had been scorched, most of the green overtaken by grey and black soot. On closer inspection, it became obvious one had been split in half, the edges of leaves opening up to a large gap.

I quickened my pace and kneeled in front of the jumbled shrub, my hands diving in to push burnt leaves out of way, finally discovering a large metal ball of orange and white leaning on the blue concrete wall. A little cracked and dirty, but seemingly intact.

Oh wait, where’s the head?

Scurrying around on my hands and knees, I felt around the bushes once more, moving along the line of the wall. The twigs were scraping against the skin of my arms, but I was too excited for the possibility of some good news that I ignored the sting they caused.

Unexpectedly my hand struck something hard, pushing the stiff lower branches out of my view to find a domed head dug into the ground. Picking it up, I brushed away some of the dirt, surveying for any obvious damage. Its antennae was crooked, a few deep scratches slicing the metal, but it all seemed fairly superficial. With the head in hand, I strode back to the body unit, beaming with the thought I could ease even a little bit of Poe’s worry.

My delight was swiftly dissolved when setting the pieces together. I’d assumed the magnet would hold and the droid would spring back to life. Instead, the head slipped straight off, sinking into the ground once more with a muffled thud.

Yeah, that seems about right.

“I have good news and bad news,” I declared sheepishly as I walked into view of Poe, lugging in a separated BB-8. His face burst into an illustration of relief, then confusion as his brain finally registered the image of his dear friend separated into two pieces, and lifeless.

As I placed the metal components onto the hospital bed at the side of Poe’s leg, he looked up at me. “This is the bad news right?” His hands tentatively checked over the BB unit, attempting what I had done not minutes ago, and watched the head piece slide back over the metal ball and dive into the mattress.

“Um… Actually… This was meant to be the good news,” I grimaced. “The bad news is that my comm-tower was completely flattened by your ship. None of my transmitter tech is going to be able to send out any messages until I can get another one built.”

Poe’s jaw clenched, and I only noticed now the dark stubble that glittered the lower half of his face.

“And when would that be exactly?” he queried sharply. I didn’t like the tone of his voice.

“At least another week if I left now. But I can’t leave you like this, you’re still in critical condition.”

It was obvious he was hiding his frustration, hands scrunched into balls. “They can’t wait that long.”

I scrambled at any answer that might settle him. “I mean, maybe some of the villagers could help, but there’s no guarantee-”

“Then get them to help!” he exploded, making me step back. At seeing the startled look on my face he softened, realising the severity of his demand. “I’m sorry, but this is just… so important. I know you’ve already done more than I could have ever asked of someone, but I still need more of your help. The fate of the galaxy depends on it.” His eyes glistened with hope, a silent plea, sending a cold wave of unease down my spine. He held a bandaged arm out, hand open, reaching toward me.

I didn’t want to be a part of this. It was exactly what I had run from for so long. Even now the immediate urge was to bolt out the front door, leaving behind this stranger who could unravel everything I’d built.

But there was something about the expression on his face, the desperation in his eyes, calling out to me. I was all he had right now. I was his only lifeline to put him back on whatever journey he had been travelling before fate made him, quite literally, crash into me.

“I mean, if the fate of the galaxy depends on it…” I mumbled, placing my hand tentatively in his. “Okay. I’ll help you get back home.”

Next Chapter

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#poe dameron #poe dameron x original female character #kylo ren #kylo ren x original female character #star wars #star wars fanfiction #adcu #adcu fanfiction

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ghoulangerlee · 4 years

Note

24 or 46 for Malex soulmate au?

I did 24, which is you have a meter for how in-danger your soulmate is

something something this involves an alternate timeline where they’re together but still have to deal with the bullshit government conspiracy cult of the week

vague tw for injuries and bloodloss but nothing too bad, its happy for once i promise

They'd only been dating for about three months when some strange shadow military organization had nabbed Michael on his way over to Alex's cabin one night, and while Alex had been used to vague sense of danger always existing in Michael's day to day life (in fact, he's pretty sure that Michael being an alien contributes to his inability to feel totally safe anywhere), he hadn't been prepared for the sudden uptick of feeling drawing him to his knees in the middle of his living room.

Somehow, in the past ten years of knowing each other, of being Michael Guerin's soulmate, the feeling hadn't ever been this bad, or noticeable; not even when he'd willingly given himself over to build a bomb to save Alex or even when Michael had taken a hammer to the hand for him, there'd never been this much.

He'd managed to collect himself several long moments later, hand pressed tight against his chest as he pulls himself up with his other until he's sitting on the couch, and while he knows what the answer will be, he still grabs his phone and texts Isobel, asks her if she'd seen Michael recently, if she'd heard from him.

I haven't, sorry. Why? He's supposed to be coming to your house, right?

Alex gets hit with another spike of feeling and draws in a deep breath, I think something's wrong. I think he's in danger.

Isobel doesn't reply immediately, but when she does, it's with a call, and when he answers, he hears Max in the background talking to someone else and Isobel's voice is tight, "What's wrong, Alex?" she asks, "When did you last hear from Michael?"

"A few hours ago," Alex replies, wincing and pressing his hand against his chest harder, as if putting pressure on the feeling calms it, "He said after he finished with his last car, he'd be over here. But I didn't really think anything of it since Michael has a tendency to get side tracked when it comes to helping out Sanders, but, well..." he trails off. "There's just. A feeling. It's. I feel it all the time, it's sorta like. A sense? But only for Michael and only if he's in danger of any kind." Explaining human soulmates to Michael hadn't been hard, he'd understood on a higher level about the idea of soulmates, but he didn't quite know if Isobel or even Max knew it was possible for a human to have an alien soulmate. "And it's so much right now, Isobel," he continues, sucking in a gasp when the feeling surges again. "It doesn't hurt, but it's overwhelming and I know that means something's wrong with him but I don't know where he is."

Isobel goes quiet for a moment, and so does Max which leads Alex to believe she'd had him on speaker and while he gets it, he hadn't been too keen on Max Evans hearing him this weak, this afraid. "Well," Isobel finally says, "Well," she repeats after a moment as if she can't quite find the right way to say her next words. "We can track him, see if we can get a feel of where he is." Isobel lapses into silence and Alex opens his mouth to say something, to say anything, but another strong surge overtakes him and all he can choke out is a noise that only sounds vaguely like an agreement.

"We're coming to your place," Max's voice comes next, firm and steady, "It'll be easier to track him from his home, anyway. I'll bring Liz and we'll call Kyle on the way there, the more people we have on this, the better chance we have of finding him."

He's blunt and to the point and Alex appreciates it, manages to croak out a 'see you soon' before he hangs up and leans back on the couch, unsure.

For the first time in years, he feels pretty useless.

====

Isobel struts into the house nearly an hour later, her face set in a serious expression until she sees Alex, half curled on the couch, an arm wrapped around his stomach, "Oh honey," she says, and immediately she's sitting by him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders, and then Liz is there and Maria too, sitting on his other side and leaning into him for comfort. "We're going to find him, Alex," she murmurs and Alex makes a half-hearted sound, letting Isobel push him into both Maria and Liz's capable arms, and then she's gently sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch, "I'm going to take your hand now," she says, all business, "You are Michael's favorite person and I'm hoping that if I can focus on that, it'll help me find Michael, okay?"

Alex nods and holds his hand out, breathing through another surge of feeling and Isobel takes it and then she's staring at him, staring through him and everything around him goes wobbly and faded and suddenly he can see Michael and he feels a surge of relief that he seems there and put together except; except he's not and then Alex really sees him.

Michael's tied to a chair in the center of a room, his lower lip is bloody and there's a bruise forming on his jaw and he looks pale, eyes sunken in and Alex knows he can't have been taken for long so why does he look like he's been trapped for days. He must say something, must do something, because suddenly Michael looks his way, eyes going wide, a soft Alex? leaving his mouth.

Isobel exhales loudly and lets go of his hand to immediately bring it up to her nose to catch the blood and then Max is there, passing her a bottle of acetone to drink.

"What did you see?" Liz asks, passing her a tissue to clean herself up, "Did you see Michael?"

Isobel dabs at the blood on her skin, waits until she's cleaned and composed before speaking, "He's tied to a chair, he looks like he might be drugged because I can't really feel him that well, everything's kind of muted but. But I think it's near Caufield? Because I could feel something else, this...this overwhelming sadness around him, around the whole place."

Kyle speaks up finally, as he kneels by Isobel, "Alex," he begins, "I think we need to go, not Isobel or Max, just in case these people are aching to get their hands on more aliens. You're the only one with proper military training and the clearance to get us in, just in case it's a facility that requires proper identification." He looks over at Liz then, "We'll bring Michael back here and then we might need you to work your magic if they did drug him. Or at least help me figure out a way to keep him comfortable until it wears off."

Alex nods slowly, "It can't be anyone else," he says, pressing his hand against his heart. "He's calling out to me, I think. I think he saw me, when we were trying to track him," he glances over at Isobel, "Do you think you can do it again? Without me? Let him know we're coming to get him. I just. It's already hard to concentrate with what I'm feeling, if he knows, maybe he'll calm down, maybe he can tell you exactly where he is and you'll let us know once he does, okay?"

Isobel nods, a look of grim determination on her face, "I've got plenty of acetone," is all she says, and then she's standing up and moving to take a seat on the couch again. "Go on boys, it takes at least thirty minutes to get out there. We'll call if there's anything new."

====

Caufield is just as decrepit as he remembers it, the main building gone in the explosion that destroyed so many lives, but several of the outer buildings remain; and while there's no other vehicles around, no signs of life, Alex still draws his gun, finger hovering over the safety as he and Kyle creep their way across the area, casing the three buildings.

"Liz says Isobel managed to get Michael, he's a little out of it but he managed to give a proper location, it's the outermost building to the right, some kind of science facility; they've been drawing his blood since they brought him in, so he might be suffering blood loss, which. Not too terrible, considering." Kyle says as he reads a text off of his phone. "We've got to get him before they decide to do anything else."

Alex nods and for the first time in several hours, the heavy feeling in his chest eases up a little, "I think he knows we're coming," he says, and then, the next few minutes are an almost blur of them breaking into the facility and locating the central room, working their way through several guards and finally finally finding the central room with Michael, still tied to the chair, looking even paler but alive.

"Michael," Alex breathes out, putting his gun away and crossing the room to untie Michael, Kyle close to his side, and together, the two of them get Michael out of the facility and back into the car, Kyle driving while Alex holds Michael in the backseat, unwilling to part from him, the klaxon of danger danger danger in his soul finally easing up now that he's got Michael back in his arms.

====

"I'll be fine," Michael promises, taking Alex's hand and squeezing it gently as Liz carefully hooks a bag of blood up to the IV Kyle had inserted in his arm, "You heard Valenti, nothing major, just some blood loss, they didn't have me that long, y'know?"

Alex sighs and squeezes his hand back, letting Michael pull him forward until he was resting in the bed beside him, "I know, Michael," he says quietly, and then he lets go of his hand so he can cup his face, "I was scared, I didn't know where you were, but I knew something was wrong."

Michael leans into his touch, eyes fluttering closed, staying silent until Liz slips out of the room, closing the door softly behind her, "You did good, darling," he murmurs. "You went to Isobel, you got help. I could feel you, for a moment there, when Isobel first tried to reach me. I saw you, and I knew you'd do anything to get me back." He smiles, opening his eyes, "And I was right. You always save me when I need it the most."

"It's not fair that you're comforting me when you're the one who was kidnapped," Alex mutters, shifting forward to rest his forehead against Michael's. "I should be comforting you."

Michael laughs, tired and soft and warm, "Then comfort me, Alex," he says gently, settling back against the pillows of their bed, patting the space beside him, "Get comfortable and come back here so you can hold me until you feel better."

When Alex settles into the bed a few minutes later, resting his head on Michael's shoulder, his arm tight around his middle, he feels something happy and content settle into his stomach, into his heart, sighing quietly as Michael presses a kiss into his hair.

"I love you," Alex mumbles, eyes closing.

"Love you too, Alex," Michael whispers back, holding him close.

#malex #my writing #Anonymous

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scentedbygunpowder · 5 years

Text

Moms Made Fullmetal Week, 2019 Day 1: Fear/Hope/Is this real? Word Count: 2395 Author: Katie/Ally (scentedbygunpowder) Rating: PG Characters: Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric; Mentions of/Minor Characters Alphonse Elric, Roy Mustang, and Alex Armstrong Summary: Lots of things inspire fear, hope, and astoundment. But nothing has ever done it more to Riza Hawkeye then the two boys she’s adopted in her heart and watching them on The Promised Day.

~*~

Fear/Hope/Is This Real?

This day had been a day full of more than she had ever imagined. Yes, Riza had known that taking down the corrupt generals and stopping The Promised Day was going to be difficult. She thought she had been prepared. Focused, ready, stoic. It had gone off perfectly at first. Going just the way they wanted, even better than they had expected.

Then they had discovered the white monsters and that had certainly changed things. But even those were quickly dealt with thanks to the Colonel, and she had taken that moment of fear—for all soldiers felt fear. It was a motivator if nothing else—and sat it to the side once the situation had been dealt with. It was time to move onto the next task.

Too bad Envy had come along and practically destroyed the Colonel. Oh, yes, the Colonel had destroyed the homunculus too, but the shapeshifter had almost taken Roy Mustang—the person of Roy Mustang, who Roy Mustang was--with him, and Riza’s fear had been very real at that time. She had thought that nothing else could match her fear at that moment—fear that had caused even her steady hands to shake.

How wrong she had been.

Her neck had been sliced open and she had nearly had to watch the man she loved either commit the ultimate sin or watch her die, except for Mei’s welcome interference. Then she had watched him being taken away from her, watched him disappear, found him again, albeit blind, and joined a fight even barely able to stand herself as they faced down a god-like individual (as those were the only words she could think of to describe him).

And still it wasn’t the greatest fear she had faced that day.

No, that had been when she had watched Edward disappear before her eyes.

Later she would question why no one stopped him. Why no one had decided to step in and say no at that moment, as they watched him scratch out a circle to get his brother back. She questioned why she didn’t. She was no alchemist, but she had been around them all her life. She knew what that was. She knew what he was drawing.

And yet she did nothing.

Perhaps it was because his own father was there. Perhaps it was because she had come to trust the young boy. Perhaps because it was because she was afraid of what he would say or do if she did. Perhaps it was because she felt it wasn’t her place, even though she had felt these maternal feelings for both boys for years. She had known them since they were twelve and eleven, respectively. She had watched them grow, listened to them, advised them, even held them at times. She knew she could never replace their mother, and she would never presume to do so, but she had come to care for them as if they were her own children. She never said it out loud, but it was true nonetheless.

She had watched one of her sons give his life in the this fight today—give his soul. She was afraid she was about to lose the other too.

As she watched Edward proclaim that this was going to be his last transmutation and clap his hands together fear clawed at her throat more then had happened at any other time during the day. This fear was bigger than watching Mustang loose his sanity, than nearly dying, than all the combat she had ever seen. It crawled into her throat and for a moment she swayed, and she knew it wasn’t from the blood loss, but the fear.

Edward had disappeared.

She wanted to call out his name, to move forward towards where he was, to demand he come back, but her fear was so great that she couldn’t. It froze her in place. He was gone. He wouldn’t come back. She had lost both of her boys in one day. She had nearly died, the man she loved was blind, and she had lost both her boys. The fear of that being true drove her to her hands and knees, and she heard Major Armstrong behind her start, moving towards her. She could hear Roy’s voice asking if she was alright. Both sounded muted, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of her perception or because of the situation, but it didn’t matter. Fear was overriding everything else as she waited for Edward to return and prayed (although after today, she honestly had no idea who to) for his safe return.

She was just giving up the last of her hope when light flared, and her head snapped up, ignoring the swimming that motion put her head into. She ignored the strong hand of the Major at her back and the hand of her Colonel on her shoulder. Something was happening at the center of the circle Edward had made, and something no one else had done. It hadn’t been touched or activated by anyone and hope flared in her surged up and she clung to it. The light was bright, as all alchemy lights tended to be, but she didn’t look away, hope filling her as she saw something forming from seemingly nothing in the middle of the circle—Edward, bruised, beaten, but smiling, holding a thin figure with long matching hair that wasn’t conscious. She knew who it was, just because of the way Edward was smiling. It was Alphonese. It had to be.

It had to be, and she wasn’t going to accept anything else for an answer. Could he have really done it? Had Edward actually found a way to restore his brother without taking a single life? Was this real? Her hope flared up, nearly overtaking her, and she forced herself to go upright.

“Lieutenant! What’s going on!”

Mustang’s voice broke through to her, finally, and she laughed.

“He did it!” she said. “Ed did it! He brought Alphonse back—His body and his soul! It’s all restored!”

Mustang’s hand was still on her shoulder, and she reached for it, pulling him closer, and then pulling him along with her as she forced her way through the crowd to the two boys, smiling widely, something almost no one had ever seen from the stoic Lieutenant. But considering what had just happened, no one seemed to think it was odd. She walked right up to the boys, pulling Mustang along behind her. Edward looking up at their approach. He was as he was when he left, injuries and all, but Alphonse did not look like a suit of armor, obviously. In fact, he had nothing on, no clothes to cover him.

“Colonel, give me your coat,” she demanded of him.

He did it without question, and on shaking legs she took it and moved closer to the boys, spreading it out over Alphonse, covering him and hopefully keeping his painfully thin body warm.

“Lieutenant,” Edward said. “I…”

Riza shook her head, reaching out to the both of them, smoothing their hair back, first Ed, then Al. “I’m so proud of you,” she said, and her hand was shaking as she spoke. “I’m so proud of you. You did it, Edward. You got his body back. You accomplished your mission. I’m so proud of you.”

Edward was blushing slightly, looking at a loss for words, and his face blurred before her eyes. Was she crying? Well, she wouldn’t be surprised if she was. Her hope for these two boys to finally, finally, be able to carry on a normal life was restored, and it was a day to be emotional. How could this be real? How could all of this be real? It was astounding and she was filled with joy.

“Lieutenant?”

Something in his voice sounded off, and she looked to see if maybe it was Alphonse, if maybe he had awoken and his voice sounded different out of the armor. But he was still lying still and unconscious.

And then—she wasn’t sure—but there seemed to be alarm on his face, and she felt a little guilty because she hadn’t meant to upset him, but her brain was stuck in a loop of “Is this real?” and “I’m so proud.” But something was different, and she remembered thinking “Is this real? Do I have my two boys back, safe and whole?” before, for some reason, it was hard to hold onto thoughts and they all slipped away. She thought she heard alarmed voices, but she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that everything was starting to seem like a dream, and she was sure she asked at least one person “Is this real?”

She remembered waking long enough to talk to Rebecca, although she didn’t remember what the conversation was, and to ask someone about Alphonse and Edward before she faded out again. There were small bits of conversation like that, ones that she couldn’t be sure later were real or not, before she finally woke with her brain settled. Most of them seemed to be centered on checking in on her two boys, but she was never completely sure if she heard that correct answers or not.

However, now she woke completely, her mind caught up with her body. She blinked for a moment, taking in her surroundings. She was in a bed, bandages tight around her neck, and IV with blood in it going into her arm. The room was dark, with only the moonlight coming through the window and the soft light creeping in around the doorframe where she could also hear soft footsteps and conversations. She went to look around, but stopped with a soft gasp as the motion of turning pulled at her neck. Almost immediately there was movement from across the room, and a figure got up, walking over towards her. It took her a moment to recognize him in the dark, but she gave Edward a dim, tired smile in the dark.

“Is this real?” she asked him, her own voice soft, tired. “Did—did it really happen? Did you bring Al’s body back?”

“Don’t talk too much, Lieutenant. The doctors are concerned about your wounds breaking open again.” He said. “You scared us when you passed out earlier. When I learned what happened, I don’t know how you were even staying on your feet.”

“Stubbornness,” she said with a wry smile, and Edward laughed in response.

Still, he looked down at her and answered her question. “Yeah, it’s real, Lieutenant. Al woke up not long after you and the Colonel were spirited away to the medical tents. He’s himself alright. Body and soul.” Edward was grinning at her. “You have no idea how happy I am to have him back.”

She reached for his hand, and he obliged her, willingly. She squeezed it. “I was so scared that I’d lost both of you, Edward, when you disappeared into that transmutation circle. The thought of losing one of you was hard enough, but both…”

His eyes looked a little troubled, and he started to hush her again. “Lieutenant, you really shouldn’t be—“

“Let me finish, please,” she said. “It’s important.” He was quiet, and she continued. “Through everything else that we had been through today,” was it even still the same day? Well, he’d know what she meant. “I was more afraid when you disappeared then through all of the rest of it.” She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. “And then, when you reappeared with another body, I hoped so badly for you that it had worked.” She gave him another tired smile. “All I wondered was if it was real, while knowing I was so proud of you. And I am. I always will be.”

There was something in the back of Ed’s eyes, an emotion that Riza was too tired to try to name, to worn to find the words for, although it was soft, and she knew that there was love in it. He smiled softly at her, and reached out, smoothing her hair down much as she had done to him earlier, their positions reversed. His hand squeezed hers. “Lieu—Hawkeye. That… that means a lot to me. I know it will to Al too, when he wakes up. Believe it or not, we have wanted to do you proud over these years. You and the Colonel both. Thank you for saying it.”

She smiled at him, and opened her mouth to say more, although she felt a twinge in her neck and winced. Edward noticed, of course, and shook his head, pulling up a chair to her bedside. “Al’s right over there,” he said nodding in the direction he had come from, “And the Colonel is in here too,” he gestured back behind him, where a curtain was drawn. The rooms are pretty full right now, so this is going to have to work. But listen, you don’t say anything else, okay? Just rest.” He still had her hand. “I’ll watch over you while you sleep. I can’t sleep anyway—my brain’s on overload. I promise I’ll go to bed the moment I feel tired, alright? Or if there’s any pain or anything. I’m find, alright? I just need to know that you’re okay too. So you just rest now.”

He was lying to her, to some extent. She could see how tired he was and how much his body, at least, needed rest. But she also knew alchemists. If their brains were running and wouldn’t stop, then they weren’t going to sleep, no matter their physical condition. Besides, she understood the need to make sure that someone you cared about was okay. She was doing that now, with Edward, and as soon as she could, she would be making sure that Alphonse was alright too.

And so, with one last smile at him, she closed her eyes, drifting back into sleep. It was unspoken between them, and likely always would be, but they both knew it: He and Al were her sons, and she was a mother to them. It didn’t have to be said. Riza could feel it as she drifted off to sleep, holding onto Edward’s warm right hand and slipped into a restful slumber, knowing that both her sons were safe at long last.

#moms-made-fullmetal-2k19 #fic #fanfiction #fma fanfiction #Mama Hawk #writing #my writing #Yes I did all three themes?#Why?#Because it seemed like a good challenge!#You tell me if I did a good job or not!#riza hawkeye #edward elric

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bleedingcoffee42 · 5 years

Text

Eureka AU- Part 8

My weekend mini-nano is coming to an end, what a ride. 16k words on a make-it-up-as-i-go fic. Fun as hell, wish I could do this every day. But for now, outta writing time. Fear not, I’ll finish this week but I’ll sure as shit leave it for now as a cliffhanger.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

xxxxxxxxxx

Roy sat by Riza's side after Knox relocated her to Al's lab under much protest, however the medical equipment was easier to move than Al's. Roy went over all the theories and data about a dozen times and eventually gave the green light on Project Hawk's Eye. He told Knox he would be the one to inject the syringe full of nanites into her IV, that was not going to be on the doctor if this all went wrong.

If he lost her, he didn't really care about the repercussions of everything coming down on him. He'd stave it off as long as he could in order to go after Raven and root out his accomplices in this theft of relics and trail of murder, but he had no misconceptions about it all catching up to him. He'd step down from the head of the facility first, have someone appointed to take his place that had it's best interests in mind, and spend his money and limited freedom on hunting everyone down. He prayed it don't come to that.

“We're ready.” Al said. “I injected a few into myself to test it and they are operating as they should.”

“What the fuck Al?” Ed gasped.

“Like you weren't going to do the same thing.” Al mumbled.

“I'm not the genius who can control the little bastards!”

“Which is exactly why I had to do it.” Al replied. “They're my creation, I can't ask someone to test out what I create if I am not willing to do so myself. Especially not Hawkeye.”

Ed walked over with the syringe and handed it to Mustang. He almost didn't want to let go of it, scared it would be the cause of her demise. Scared because if it didn't kill her, the lack of another option would.

“It's OK Ed.” Roy said and took the syringe over to the IV line and paused as he took the cap off the needle. He looked over at Riza and bit his lip. Not the kind of shot she expected to be in danger of dying from, he was certain of that. So he stopped costing more time and injected it slowly so there was no chance of clumping the microscopic robots anywhere. Then, syringe empty, he retracted it and put the cap back on and set it down to wait; Wait and watch her vitals for a spike to tell him this was the wrong answer.

“Ok, I have data.”

Roy looked over to Al. “And?”

“I've sent them on a mission to disperse and target anything with their similar profile. I already have data coming back.” Al said and put it up on the screen for everyone to see. “Well the good news is it's biological and not nanotech.”

Roy took a deep breath. The Elrics were great at mentioning things after the fact.

“Money can't buy you, Al.” Ed said appreciatively. “You're the only one this good.”

Marcoh waved his hand at the screen. “Can you send this information to my tablet?”

“Already on it's way.” Al said. “I have them targeting and following the virus. That way we don't waste time when you give me the modifications.”

Roy sat down beside Riza and held her hand again. No change was good news at this stage and he could feel Knox hovering and waiting for something to happen. Marcoh was scribbling loudly on some paper, preferring to work out things the 'old school' way instead of taking advantage of all the technological advances around him. Roy wanted to help, wanted to be able to use his knowledge and education for something but he couldn't help here. All he could do was physically be here and comfort his wife in a way he hoped she could feel, perhaps there was something to that joke of theirs about using him for his body after all.

He turned his attention to thinking about how much Riza had changed his life. They got off on the wrong foot and they continued to meet in the middle on everything, mainly because she wouldn't get out of his way. She blocked him every time and forced him to compromise. The resolution always produced good results and finally he came to her with a peace offering of dinner. The town needed her, she was someone he had grown to respect and in a few months of fighting with her he had to admit he looked forward to her barging into his office telling him off.

He never expected her to say 'yes'. It was just his charismatic womanizing facade coming out and trying to charm her, but she had said 'yes' in the most hostile and satisfied way possible that made him question if he had in fact been played. He owed her dinner for all the times she had to spend time off duty cleaning up his scientist's mistakes. It better be expensive too. He countered the best he could, saying and expensive dinner require proper attire and a dress uniform wasn't going to cut it. And her smile, god she smiled like she was the Queen of Hearts and he was about to get decapitated. At that moment he sat back in his chair and realized that it might not be so horrible to lose this chess match of theirs after all.

When she did show up for that promised dinner at his house, insisting on picking him up because he was a terrible driver who never paid his reckless driving tickets, he opened the door to the most amazing sight he had ever laid eyes on. Riza Hawkeye stood on his doorstep like an angel, setting sun behind her with a glow of the glory of God radiating in the background. A long gown that looked like it was made for her and probably was. She had made friends in Eureka, certainly someone like Alex Armstrong had told her he would make her the perfect dress to stop Roy's fucking heart as soon as he laid eyes on it.

And that it did. However it was less the dress and more the woman wearing it. Something about how she owned that presence and could be wrapped in satin and lace and not lose herself in any of it. There was more to her than he gave her credit for, more than the hard ass Lieutenant who became their disciplinarian Sheriff. More than the soldier who was quick to order everyone around when the situation went to hell. More that he desperately wanted to find out about. It was more than she bargained for because she was not expecting him to be the one cooking her dinner at his house.

Checkmate.

It didn't phase her, she entered his house as if it was a royal palace and not a suburban home. He had his best tux on, carefully planned and cooked four courses and dessert and served them all by candlelight in his dining room. There was no hostility as they both silently agreed to a truce for the night. They talked about work, since that was always the adventure of the week, and accidents they could now laugh about.

And she had the most incredible laugh.

Night turned into morning as they relaxed on the couch and dared to show each other their personal side. Her caring for the men of her command, how much she missed being in the field because of this special assignment and how much she was actually enjoying being the Sheriff of this small town. The people were special, she liked having someone to protect. He admitted he wanted to do anything to keep this town safe, to keep the people free to work and funded to do so. Something he never openly admitted to anyone. She eventually said it was getting too late and it was time to leave, he asked her to stay. To his surprise, she accepted his offer.

He wondered why she accepted any offers of his, especially the first one to take the job as Sheriff of Eureka.

Now he couldn't help but wonder if she was deliberately sent here by her commander to get her away from her men. Exiled because she had seen too much and had too much integrity to just forget it happened. There was no reason that a qualified officer like herself would be sent here to the middle of nowhere to babysit scientist unless she was someone who could be counted on to be in his pocket. She'd never be that, not for Raven. Exiled until he had a chance to figure out how to erase the evidence of his actions.

But Roy had been the one to pick her from a field of candidates. That was what bothered him, Raven had to know what he was looking for in a choice for Sheriff. He had to rig the choices so there was only one option. Roy wanted to drive down to the Hotel right now and beat the truth out of him, beat the life out of him. Ensure he didn't get away with this.

“I have it.” Marcoh announced. He walked over to Al's computer and said, “Bring up the diagram. I'll show you want to rearrange. Then you can program them to eat the other virus.”

“They're robots.” Al replied. “They don't eat.”

“They just ate several billion dollars worth of military super soldier contact lens.” Ed reminded him. “Just let them tear it apart.”

“And lose their form? They're currently bonded as a virus. You want me to release them and let them float in the bloodstream? They're too tiny.” Al replied.

“Strangle the virus then.” Ed said.

“Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.” Roy said, quoting Sun Tzu. Everyone went silent, he must have sounded authoritative even if he felt lost. “Make your nanites more attractive to the virus than the cells it's attacking. Make it look like the original Xerses virus instead of the watered down immunity in her system. Let them latch on to the nanites so we can tell the robots to leave her body and take the virus with them. Riza can't be the battlefield, she's put up enough of a fight on her own. Let's draw the enemy out.”

#fic #royai #eureka au

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discordant-daydreams · 6 years

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valkyrie rosin: enter

i had done this for school about one of my ocs i have been trying to develop since 2013 but turns out i didn’t need to. I’m posting it here so it was worth it also because i am proud of it! please enjoy!

I had been napping. It was a hot summer day, well it was spring but it felt more like summer, and I had nothing better to do. Napping was always interesting. Whenever i napped i had dreams, No not dreams, nightmares. They were always the same thing, my village was being destroyed. I always wake up panicking and honestly who wouldn't. I've talked to others about it and they always say that it's just my internal fear of becoming leader of our village but that feels wrong. I feel it is a warning like someone telling me something bad is going to happen. In the dream an evil shadowy man with glowing red eyes is destroying the village. At the end he always says i told you. Today was no different.

“Val! Wake up! We’re gonna have another race and you are still the winner!” i hear my older brothers voice. We are a race of shifters, a species that looks human but can transform into two other species, and i can become a horse or swan hence the name valkyrie. My brother a bear and a wolf. He hasn't gotten a name yet and he doesnt really want one. We are given normal names at birth, mine being rosin his being beamard but id rather valkyrie. So many people struggle on remembering how to say rosin that its just easier to go with valkyrie. I groan in annoyance and get up.

“You know I’m going to win if you allow the use of abilities, right? I can become a horse!”

“Yeah but eric is gonna join us today”beamard remarks with a smirk

“Oh no,” my brother laughs pats my shoulders and walks to the location

“So you have the same dream?” he says with genuine worry. I frown and nod. There's a silence for a while as we make our way towards the venue. My brother gives the normal rundown of rules. No inflicting pain on another, no cheating, yada yada yada. We start to take on our fastest forms and i notice hesitation on my brothers face.he glances towards me and forces a smile and mouths that he is fine. I raise an eyebrow and stay guarded.

Me and bee have been talking a lot about the history of our species and how it has been forgotten. We used to be able to shift into anything but we had to know the species very well and practice. We used to use it just to change our appearance slightly or prepare for battles and such but some wanted more. Our village got greedy and tried to learn any species possible so we could have the upper hand and the humans didn't like that. They never liked us because we are different but i get that. I understand how it feels. Some species scare me and my first reaction is to react unfavorably so i understand if they want to attack us. The humans asked us to agree to learning no more identities and we accepted it well reluctantly. My parents didn't like having their freedom taken away and neither did I when i learned.

My brother takes on the form of a wolf, Eric a falcon and me well i did something different. I tried a thoroughbred horse instead of a friesian. I probably would have been stopped had i not waited till the last minute. The cap gun goes off and we took off. I knew i was doing the wrong thing but man the adrenaline i was feeling was unreal. It was amazing. We all make it to the end but i zoomed to the finish line last minute and won. I was cheering having my own celebration but no one else was cheering.

“Ah c’mon guys don’t be sore losers it was only a-”

“Rosin how could you! You know that's forbidden! Are you trying to get us killed!” beamards shouts as he grabs my shoulders shaking me. The terror he is feeling was tangible and i looked up at him frowning.

“I-i thought it would be fine if it was just a different breed im sorry… im sorry! I don't want to get you killed! Im sorry!” as i begin to cry beamard softens and realizes he reacted harshly.

“Im sorry val i just worry i don't want anything to happen to you and honestly they wouldn't punish an entire village for an 8 year old’s curiosity.” somethign about the way he spoke felt fake and wrong but i just brushed it off and ignore it. we hug and our friends declare me the winner again. I convince them to all go out for ice cream by saying bee would treat them. He frowns and says fine and i laughs. Everything is nice and fun again and after ice cream w get home for dinner with our family. My parents seem oddly serious and beamard steps behind me. Dad nods at beamard and sighs.

“We know beamard you don't have to say anything i want you two to grab your dinners and go to the basement.” beamard nods and grabs our plates and heads off nudging me forward. I stand firm and glare at my father.

“No i will not! All day everyone has been acting.. Off? Weird? I cant describe it! Whatever it is im tired of it! Stop leaving me out!” beamard just quietly says please as i yell at my parents. Was it wrong of me to yell probably. Had i known what i know now would i have yelled? I wish i could say no but knowing myself the answer is still, probably. My father and mother kneel in front of me and frown grabbing my hands and say,

“Sweetie i know you want answers but please you have to trust us. We will be joining you two in the basement soon!” i frown, nod, and hug them and follow beamard to the basement. We eat our dinner in silence both too worried to speak. I suddenly remember my dream as it plays back in my head and i start crying as i realize.

“Beamard? The humans, they are trying to exterminate us aren't they?” he looks at me shocked but then nods and gestures for me to come over. I do and we huddle together hopeing for the best. “So my dream was correct… that really sucks.” i try so hard to keep my emotions under control but its hard. We hear screams outside and magic. we feel rumbling as homes are destroyed. The home we knew for years being reduced to ruble. The village i was to lead some day, no more. Everything we knew was being ripped from our grasp just because humans don't understand. Beamard looks down at me frowning.

“Rosie please don't hate the human. Please promise me you will stay open minded with them. Not all of them are terrible. Not all of them intend to destroy those they are confused about. Please keep your kind loving heart and promise me if anything were to happen to me that you wont change. That you wont let the hatred consume you. Please remember that i love you-” the door blasts open and a short winged humanoid comes in. they are wearing a cloak so we are unable to see what they look like but they are pale almost pinkish in hue. The vibes they give off are feelings of unsatiable blood lust and a hunger for violence. They send chills up my spine and i have the urge to run away. My brother grabs me and runs to the farthest corner of the room where he left his sword. I hiss through my teeth. Why didnt he have his sword on him? I draw my sword and approach “rosin no!” beamard jumps in front of my his sword clattering to the ground. There is a bright indigo light and it goes through my brother and reaches me. I an feel a searing pain from my left shoulder down to my hip and i wince, gritting my teeth. As i look forward to check on my brother all i can see is a pile of glittering crystals where my brother once was. I lose my composure for a moment and weep, collapsing where i stand, nd then regain it tearing off the crystals forming where the wound is.

“You arent a normal 8 year old are you? Youve prepared for this.” the person says with an unsusual voice. Its higher and friendly. One you would here and think of an innocent childlike individual. “A normal 8 year old would have been too afraid of the danger let alone the threat of death. They did warn me that you are an intelligent individual but i thought that meant for an 8 year old.”

“Yeah well you don't know our species then.” i get up draw my sword careful to make sure they arent looking and charge at them driving my sword through their middle and then using a match to light their wings. I didnt expect it to do much but they panicked and managed to break their wing. I oull my sword out and run away. As i am running i see the village i once knew. It was on fire. The cause? A grey dragon whose face was the angriest ive seen. The dragon made eye contact with me and it seemed to be appologizing. I run into the forest leaving a trail of blood. I find a cave and settle down when i hear a voice. The voice of a child about my age.

“Hi there my name is uh alex, we’ll go with that, um why are you in my cave?” i frown out of it.

“My village was just destroyed can you not see?” the child pauses and smirks. The smirk makes me go cold

“Oh yeah i forgot. I did warn you though.”

#valkyrie rosin #valkyrie #writing #shape shifters #shifters #beamard #angst #demons #yeet

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biologicalengineer · 7 years

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hardest of hearts // sara + alex

summary: the waverider ends up crash-landing on earth 38 after a major, catastrophic malfunction. the deo swoops in to rescue sara @fullcfheart and the crew from the wreckage. sara lost her spleen and broke a some bones but still has time to chat an incredulous alex up, of course.

ALEX.

it's an unusual predicament but extra-normal nevertheless. a time-traveling ship with a distress call had reached out to them ... from another earth. so, j'onn tasked a team to navigate them as best they could while alex was given the order to lead a squad for recovery. the medical team is present, along with throngs of other agents, all preparing for the worst. alex waits for the all clear to head out, hearing the ship crash in the distance. she calls for move out, and then spearheads the mission, giving orders quickly and dividing her task force. approaching the ship, she found a door which several people help pry open, and then she calls out for those inside. "this is special agent alex danvers," she says as she gives a few more commands before meandering her way inside. "my team and i are here to help. captain lance?" she begins to search for the woman her sister had indicated, while dictating her squad members to collect sara's team.

SARA.

things were going wrong, okay maybe they were going a lot wrong. no one on the team knew what had happened. not even gideon. somehow they had managed to travel to a different earth while in the process of traveling through time. someone or something had shot at them just before they entered the time stream, having hit their engines sara had no one way of controlling the ship. or not enough for it to be helpful in any way. with jax's help they managed to send out a distress message to anyone who would be listening. luckily it just so happened to be the deo. once they made contact sara ordered the rest of the team to the back of the ship. it would give them the best rate of survival with the nosedive they were currently in. staying to pilot as much as she is able sara guides the waverider to the desert like instructed. moments later they crash into the ground and everything goes black. she is fully prepared for what comes next after all this isn't the first time that sara has died. a voice in the distance wakes her up but she still doesn't quite know what's going on. "here...in here..." sara makes a motion in order to get up but finds a rather large beam laying across her body.

ALEX.

while the majority of alex's unit goes to the back of the ship to tend to the majority of the passengers, alex takes a few agents with her to meet sara. as soon as she arrives, she masks her concern. "captain lance," she bends down to sara's level, remembering her sister's fondness for the vigilante turned time master. "sara," her name is spoken with the same degree of respect, though it's softer, encouraging. "we're going to get you out of here. your team's being taken care of, too," she smiles a little and reaches out to touch sara's shoulder. nodding the three men and one woman she's brought with her over, she eyes the beam. "try to lift that," she instructs them, hoping that they can muscle just enough of it off of sara so that alex can get to her. "carefully," comes her terse demand, to which they begin to do just that. "what hurts?" she begins to check what vitals she can (mostly her pulse and breathing). "i'm going to have to carry you out to the med team, but i need you to try not to move in the event of a neck or spine injury, okay? i've got you."

SARA.

eyes attempt to follow the agent though sara is having a bit of a tough time focusing. no it's not the pain something that she is very much used to. it's probably from whatever hit her in the head when they crashed. though if this turns out to be a hallucination sara is definitely going to try and dream of agent danvers again. focus lance now is not the time. a chuckle escapes her lips though it is strained. "so you're the sister i'm supposed to have a drink with. you've got a good wingman there danvers. i'm sure your team will take good care of them and if they don't well i'll hear about it later. best to keep them distracted." she smirks before a sharp intake of breath. well aware of what will happen when the beam is removed sara prepares herself for what is about to occur. most likely a good amount of internal bleeding but they have to be careful of her broken ribs as they could puncture one or both of her lungs. "there are a few broken bones and a nice bump on the head but i'm fine. the pain is manageable." for someone without her training they would most definitely be passed out currently. her breathing is a little ragged but that's to be expected. nothing can stop her though, not even death. "bold move danvers...." she pauses to catch her breath. "trying to sweep me...off my feet already. did someone tell you i wanted my own knight?"

ALEX.

despite the severity of the situation, alex finds herself marveling at sara's words. had kara seriously mentioned alex when she'd hopped worlds to help another earth fend off invaders? she draws her bottom lip briefly between her teeth and lets out a humorous scoff. "incredible," though she's genuinely amused at kara's apparent off-world matchmaking, now isn't the time to reflect on it. they'll rehash that later, when sara isn't in danger of dying. "you're a tough one," she teases her lightly, knowing full well not to underestimate her. "if you weren't half conscious i don't think you'd even need me," alex assures her, keeping her talking while her team lifted the beam just enough. as soon as she can, she very carefully takes sara into her arms and lifts her, making sure to do so with the muscles of her legs. "something tells me you don't need a knight, captain," she maintains, nodding her team off to convene with medical as alex herself begins to very painstakingly follow with sara in her arms. "easy," she soothes, stepping out with sara to the waiting squad of doctors. "kara and i will be waiting back at the deo. hang in there."

SARA.

it isn't long before sara passes out from her injuries. sure she thinks that she is fine but no matter how much she can ignore the pain the fact remains she is seriously injured. luckily everyone else on the team isn't too badly injured. sara knows she made the right choice no matter what happens. hours later she wakes up in the deo after surgery, several stitches later and down a spleen. still groggy from the anaesthesia and pain medication her eyelids flutter open and closed a few times before sara comes to completely. blinking a few more times as she looks around the room the lights are super bright and it hurts a little. "special...agent danvers...my hero..." sara chuckles as she finally lays eyes on the woman.

ALEX.

kara is practically beside herself knowing that sara is injured, but alex keeps her calm---tells her that her vitals are stabilized, and the emergency surgery is going well. truthfully, alex is a little concerned herself. that had been quite the crash. as tough as sara lance is, she wonders just how much stress her body can take. which is why alex hangs around the OR in scrubs and gear, but only as an observer. she's there for the entirety of sara's procedure and, ultimately, when she wakes up. alex is tasked with sara's post-op care by her (and, in some part, her sister's) request. so, when sara finally stirs, still affected by the cocktail of drugs she's been given, alex can't help but smile a little. "we'll see if you still think that after the medication wears off," she moves to stand at sara's bedside. "welcome back to earth 38, captain."

SARA.

"pain and i came to an understanding years ago agent. i'll be just as charming once they wear off. if not more." a wink and a smile. placing her hands at her sides on the bed sara pushes herself up into a sitting position. there's a brief flicker of pain as she does so, one deep breath and she is through it. "has your team been able to figure out what caused our crash yet? besides the obvious." kara had told sara a little bit about the deo's capabilities and also her sister's interest in all things science driven. a women with brains and brawn, how could sara not be interested. "or how we ended up on earth 38 for that matter. not that i'm complaining, you're definitely a sight for sore eyes."

ALEX.

"alex," she offers the name to her, feeling little need for formalities. kara insists that sara is a friend, and where alex is standing, it seems like she is. still, there's a comment in there somewhere to be said about pain being the one constant no one can escape, but it gets lost as sara sits up. "whoa, whoa... i get it; you're a badass, but please, i'm going to have to ask that you lie down, sara," her tone is a balance of seriousness and lightheartedness, as she goes to gently grasp sara's arm. "the easier you take it, the faster you'll bounce back," she reminds her, lightly rubbing her arm in a comforting gesture. "winn schott and a few others are working on it. they're on the right track. we should know any time now," alex is confident, though she's somewhat distracted by sara's inebriated flirting. it's cute... and hilarious. "they gave you the good stuff, huh?"

SARA.

"i take it kara didn't tell you how stubborn i am huh." she states matter of factly. "i was killed and was back at it within hours so this little problem here is merely a small inconvenience. i have to check on my team." sara doesn't miss that alex is now holding her arm, she just chooses not to scare the woman off. while alex is very much in charge here something about her gives sara a different feeling. while she is letting herself trust the deo to some extent sara needs to see everyone for herself. "i'm sure you understand alex." the iv and oxygen have to go. of course her actions will be met with resistance but sara will push through it. she is the captain after all and that comes with a rather large amount of responsibility. "i think they're probably giving me more than they should, not that i'm complaining but i've dealt with way worse with no meds at all. so yes you could say i am a badass. which is apparently your type." of course she has to slip that in there, it's necessary and sara wouldn't be living up to her reputation if she hadn't.

ALEX.

alex understands, probably more than sara realizes. truthfully, it would be hypocritical for alex to do anything short of sara's request. even so, she does make a point to give sara a look before she walks around to begin the process of unhooking all of the tubes. "all right," she relents with a sigh. "lie back, then. at least let me remove your IV properly," once she's sure sara will comply, she unhooks her oxygen and then starts on her IV. though, she quirks an eyebrow at sara's remark. "my type?" she laughs, withdrawing the needle from the crook of sara's arm before placing a cotton ball and some tape on top of it. "was my sister playing inter-dimensional matchmaker?" alex plays it cool despite the fact that her heart rate has already skipped into a quickened pace. "there. i can take you to them."

SARA.

"see i knew i was gonna like you." with a casual smirk sara lays back as she is told though she can't help but admire alex as she does. "yes ma'am." truthfully this is the best news she has heard all day. her surviving was neither here nor there. making sure everyone is alright is much higher on her list of priorities. that and getting a drink with her new found hero. sara doesn't even flinch as the iv comes out though it is a relief not to be hooked up to all of these machines. "she may have mentioned you once or twice. or maybe you were all she could talk about when we were together." sara pauses before reaching out for alex's arm. she can overcome the pain but her body is still weak. "you're her hero you know."

ALEX.

"don't push it," it's mostly a false threat, but there's a bit of truth in the undertow of the assertion. while alex certainly has her weaknesses for pretty girls, she also can't be bought when it comes down to the wire. sara's charm can only get her so far. the sympathy points only come from being j'onn's second-in-command for so long. she knows what it feels like to be tasked with the lives of a squad of people, and she knows, too, the need that comes with wanting to see all of her team return home safe and mostly intact. "incredible," she decides at the mention of her sister, making a point to roll her eyes good-naturedly. "she did tell you i'm 'fresh off the boat,' right?" there's a bit of bitterness in her tone, though she knows it's largely unwarranted. "apparently that's a huge turn-off," she lets the subject drop on her end as she leads sara out of the exam room and in the direction of where her team's being held. most only had minor scrapes and bruises. her attention focuses mostly on helping sara navigate without too much pain. "don't all younger sisters have idealized views of their older sisters?" she diverts the compliment, if only because she's never been good at accepting emotionally charged ones.

SARA.

"yes ma'am." sara isn't dumb, she knows when to back off. plus she is slowly getting a read on the agent which is important. seeing where her boundaries are, how she acts under pressure. all of which have been very good so far. each step forward feels like a bit of a mistake, her stitches pulling at a fleshly opened wound. not that she'll admit that alex was right but she was right in this case. though sara has a duty which she has to carry out first. "she did but who cares? we were all fresh off the boat at some point. it doesn't bother me like it apparently bothers you." an eyebrow raises as she picks up on alex's bitterness. "but my coming out wasn't exactly by the book either and i'm a little more sexually fluid. which comes with its' own set of bullshit." judged for not being lesbian enough, judged for now being bisexual enough. sara knew the drill all too well. slowly shuffling along they eventually make it there. sara is pleased with everyone's condition, best outcome for a terrible situation. "to some extent maybe but that's kind of our jobs." she pauses then corrects herself. "her job." shaking it off sara looks back at alex. "but i'm starting to see her side of things."

ALEX.

alex continues to support sara, shouldering as much weight as she can to keep her stitches intact. she shouldn't be walking at all, but that point is moot. so, she does what she can to make it easier for her. "it didn't bother me, actually. it doesn't," alex seems a little bit reluctant to divulge the truth, but she figures why the fuck not? "i really liked this girl, and so i kissed her, and i told her, and she was really nice about it, but said that relationships with people like me don't work out. it's... fine." it more than bruised her ego, but she's slowly getting over it. her mind races ahead of the subject; anything to divert it from herself. "obviously i don't have a lot of experience with... the community, or whatever, but i've never understood that," she frowns. "for what it's worth, i've seen how kara acts around certain girls, and i'm pretty sure she likes girls and boys," alex smiled a little then and lets sara check on her friends. while she notices sara's slip-up, she doesn't take it too much to heart. "if only you knew me when i was younger. you'd probably disagree," she gives sara a humored look and begins to take her back to her hospital bed for the time being. "but thanks."

SARA.

she is in definite need of sitting down, not that sara would say anything though. taught to always push through whatever pain or anything else she was feeling. though there is only so much sara can control and she momentarily sways before steadying herself. "well first off screw her, if you want to make it work then you will. doesn't really matter if you've recently found out who you are or not. she obviously wasn't willing to take the chance which is stupid." she shrugs, sara does have some experience in this area. "i've been with women who are experienced but i've also been with women who are just finding out that maybe dudes aren't all they're cracked up to be. or as some have called it i've liberated quite a few women. all over time." there's a definite smirk at that thought. "eh fuck the community, they can be just as bad as everyone else. ya just gotta try and find the good ones." sara doesn't say what else she is thinking seeing as she agreed to take a step back. "she does, i just don't think she has quite realized it yet. she'll get there though. and if you're tryin' to make me feel better about it you don't have to. i am very okay with who i am when it comes to my sexuality. never been an issue really. there has always been more pressing shit to deal with." like trying not to die being a big one on that list. a sly grin appears on her face despite the pain in her side. "i think we have a lot more in common then i originally thought danvers. you've got some troublemaker in you don't you."

ALEX.

alex is finely attuned to physical injuries and their more vague symptoms. she knows full well that sara is in no condition to be doing what they're doing, and yet, now that they are finished with the assessment of her team, she knows she can get her lying down. "liberated a few women?" alex laughs, because it's a hilarious thought. "i guess you can say this girl liberated me, in a way. we're still friends, emphasis on the friends," alex isn't as bitter as before. she really does like maggie, after all. better to have her as something than lose her entirely. though she does smile a little at sara's suggestion. "let's just say i've been arrested. more than once. and leave it at that," a sly look passes from alex to sara as she helps sara to sit and ultimately lie on her hospital bed. a moment goes by with alex hesitating, then she decides to just go for it. "i'm glad you're alive, and that your team made it out okay."

SARA.

"that's what some people called it, i just helped women realize that lesbian isn't a bad word. though i probably should have been a little more discreet back in salem. but where's the fun in that." a casual smirk plays on her face to hide the anger she still felt towards rip for sending her there. getting deemed a witch and then almost getting hanged was a bit of a sore spot for her. once in bed she can finally relax a little knowing that everyone is alright. sara waits as she is hooked back up to the many machines much to her dismay. small price to pay for surviving the crash though dying wouldn't have been the worst thing either. "you're not the only one who broke the law danvers but i've been doing it longer than you." a light chuckle escapes her lips while technically she isn't exactly on the right side of the law now she was much worse when she was younger. "i'm glad they're alive too. as much as we fight i kinda like having them around."

ALEX.

hearing sara say the word 'lesbian' with such ease made alex a little envious. she had only just gotten comfortable calling herself gay. she wonders idly if she'll ever be able to call herself a lesbian. she smiles a little to herself as she begins the process of setting up sara's IV and the rest of her vitals. "you're, what? two years older than me?" it's just a guess, because sara doesn't look that much older than alex. "but i'll take your word for it. i was just a directionless alcoholic," the past tense is a bit shaky, if only because alcohol is still a bit of an issue. but, she doesn't want to dwell on that. "i have a few of those myself," she says, winn and james coming to mind specifically. "they're a pain in the ass, but unfortunately it looks like i'm not just kara's older sister anymore." she rolls her eyes humorously, finishing her rewiring of sara's vital sign monitors and her IV. "can i get you anything? food, water?"

SARA.

sara isn't an idiot she is able to see the change in alex's demeanour when she says the word lesbian. "you'll get there danvers, just takes some time." it's an off hand comment, not meant to be dwelled upon. sara brushes it off and then attempts to get comfortable in the bed. which is quite a stretch for her. seeing as there are people everywhere. glass walls and all doesn't exactly lend itself to privacy. it's the fishbowl effect. "depending on how old you are that's probably a good guess. my dad was a cop at the time so he made a few charges go away when i was a teenager. minor things of course." for now she'll leave out the whole being assassin thing, murder isn't exactly the best first meeting talk. especially when trying to flirt with a beautiful woman. "i have some experience with alcoholics, looks like you're on the other side of it though. that's good, it can take a lot of work to get there." while she didn't have to deal with her father's alcoholism first hand there was laurel. another time sara didn't like thinking about. "i would much rather work alone but here we are." small chuckle leaves her lips. "water maybe? feelin' a little dry." plus it's an excuse to keep the agent around for longer.

ALEX.

alex doesn't really respond by way of sara's reassurance, but silently, she does appreciate it. "minor things," she smiles to herself and gives sara a look. by no means is alex judging but she has some questions about what constitutes 'minor' in sara's book. "i like to think so," she considers her assessment of her sobriety; it seems fair enough. "i probably still drink more than i should but everyone has their vices," alex shrugs. she likes alcohol---everything in moderation, after all. at sara's request for water, she nods, "all right." she leaves and ultimately returns with a cup of cold water and a separate cup of ice chips. "on the off chance that you and i share another bad habit," alex draws up a chair and sits in it backward, resting her arms on the back of it. "so, time traveling... what's that like?"

SARA.

"yes minor things agent danvers." a playful smirk plays on her lips. "let's just say i had an affinity for honing my skills as a vigilante long before i ever became one." best to leave it there. if alex doesn't know about her past sara would much rather leave it that way for as long as she can. "we all have our vices, i have one for booze too. but should probably try and keep it in check consider my family history." there's a small chuckle to cover up her sadness. "thanks." sara takes the cup from alex and then has a small sip. "it's full of surprises, turns out guinevere has a thing for the ladies but is totally badass too. and the fifties aren't all they're cracked up to be."

ALEX.

"hey," she holds up her hands in a playful, defensive gesture. "i'm not here to judge." she can think of a lot worse that she's done since joining the deo alone, but she purposefully doesn't linger on the subject. instead, she finds herself watching sara, a definite curiosity acting like a magnet. there's something different about sara, something captivating that she doesn't quite know how to define. in an effort not to stare too long, she lets her eyes move to her vitals and to activity outside the room every now and then. "wait... guinevere? as in, knights of the round table guinevere?" alex's mouth falls open in disbelief. "i thought she was just a fairy tale character," her eyebrows furrow as she smiles. "...and you... did you?" she catches her bottom lip again, eyes narrowing while she studies sara.

SARA.

normally she isn't so happy to share anything about herself really. sara keeps herself locked up tighter than fort knox but something about alex feels safe. even if she doesn't trust the woman yet, now that would be jumping the gun. can never be too careful even if she is supergirl's sister. having been betrayed one too many times sara keeps everything close to the vest. "that same guinevere, how do you think sir lancelot came about?" okay maybe this pushing her ego a little too much but it's always in the realm of possibility considering everything that happened. "behind every strong woman is another strong woman danvers. while king arthur had many positive attributes sometimes you just need a woman who can look like a princess but throw down better than any man."

ALEX.

alex had to think for a second, leading her eyes to narrow as she attempts to process what sara is telling her. sara lance... lance... lancelot. there's no way. there's honestly no way. her eyes shift back to sara, still narrowed. "did you... wait. are you lancelot or is there actually a lancelot but you upstaged him?" she grins, unable to stop the almost inhuman spread of the expression. alex smiles, certainly, but never this much. "i don't know that i'd have the wherewithal to time travel. i have enough problems in the present," she shakes her head, rests her chin on one of her hands. "i really respect what you do, what little i know. you fix time aberrations and other problems in the timeline, right?"

SARA.

sara can't help the smirk that starts forming as alex whether or not she is telling the truth. "well he wasn't there with king arthur but who knows. i haven't met him yet if he does exist." just keep stroking her ego and sara will never shut up. her smile is cute, definitely need to keep that going for as long as she can. "i thought the same but i was chosen because i was insignificant to history. that's why we are all chosen. pretty humbling experience." sara had long since gotten over it but a part of her still wishes that laurel had been chosen instead then she'd still be alive now. "yeah we fix the aberrations caused by the legion of doom. yes i hate the name but this is what happens when you leave a bunch of men in charge."

ALEX.

alex is pretty impressed, but she's loathe to admit that forthright. so, she just keeps that furtive smile going, rolls her lips together pensively. there's so much that sara must be capable of. the sheer magnitude of the science required to do what she does has alex's mind spinning excitedly trying to decipher or even comprehend it. "yeah, that's pretty bad," she laughs, unable to get past the cheesiness of the name. alex combs her teeth over her bottom lip, eyebrows knitting together briefly as she glances between sara and the people behind the glass. reluctantly, she knows she'll have to get back to work. standing the chair, she turns it around and puts it back in place, dusting her black pants off with her palms. "i guess i've taken up more than enough of your time," she confessed with a self-effacing look. "i have to get back to work. i know kara wants to visit you later today, so..." she started for the door. "i'll see you around."

SARA.

it really is an awful name and sara still refuses to say it as much as possible but when you're working with a bunch of nerds it's all you hear. exhaling softly sara leans back against the pillow, letting her eyes close just for a moment. though they open again so that she can quietly study alex and her little quirks. the way her nose scrunches when she is trying to figure something out. and with sara's line of work there is a lot to figure out. or the light in her eyes when she smiles which is often, it's something sara misses doing. "leaving so soon danvers? i thought we had a good thing goin'." the signature fake pout appears of course. "ah yes sunshine, it'll be good to see her again. at least this time she won't be kicking my ass. i really got to get on the metahuman train at least." sighing softly she nods. "alright danvers, see ya. you know where to find me when you're bored."

ALEX.

"unfortunately, there's a world out there to save and bad guys to catch," she leans against the door frame seeming at least somewhat genuinely apologetic. sara is fascinating and wildly charismatic. she could talk to her for hours, probably, bombarding her with questions and curiosity, but she knows sara doesn't have time for that. "she kicked your ass?" pride floods through alex, making her smile even brighter. "i guess it helps to have a big sister who knows a thing or two about hand to hand combat," her look morphs into one of suggestion, and then she stood straight again, preparing to leave in earnest this time. "please remind her not to hug you too hard," she mentions over her shoulder, disappearing toward the lab.

[ END. ]

#fullcfheart #✖ ❝you're a hard soul to save with an ocean in the way but i'll get around it.❞ ⇨ alex & sara.

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